Vanilla (2025) Movie Script
1
- Whoa.
Gorgeous, right?
- Yeah.
- Happy anniversary.
Eat the fish.
I'm starving.
Hey, why don't you put our stuff away
while I get us a takeaway?
- I can't believe
your aunt owns this place.
- See, um...
How's it still playing?
- It's downloaded.
- You downloaded this?
It sounds like elevator music.
= Fucking yes, it's on the internet.
Fucking yes!
Man, fuck.
Sorry.
Hey, at least it wasn't on the speaker.
- No, no, no.
You get a flannel and soap
and you deal with that before soaks in.
- Yep, cool.
Where on earth does your
aunt keep her flannels?
This kitchen is all wrong.
- They're under the sink
and there's nothing
wrong with the kitchen.
This, this is real music.
Hmm?
I'd like to do some sightseeing work.
We're here and I figured, wait, hold on.
- The what?
Sounds like the mafia.
- It's not a mafia, it's a church.
Or, Barceloneta.
- Hmm?
- It's a beach.
- Right.
Yeah, well, obviously
we'll go to the beach.
Hey, it'd be great to go to Camp Nou.
It'd be great to catch a Barcelona match.
You know, when you're in Barcelona,
you should see Barcelona, right?
- Yeah, very romantic.
You're so attuned to what a man wants.
- Yeah.
I'm up for the beach though.
To be honest,
I'm not huge on all this
sighting stuff, you know?
Sometimes nice to just
sunbathe through the book,
get a tan, you know?
- Yeah, Matt, you don't tan, you burn.
- Well, I sometimes tan.
- Are you still talking?
- Sorry, yeah.
Cleaning.
Hey, haven't you been
to these places before?
- It's been years since
I've been with Natalie.
- Right.
- Why is that?
- What's what?
- That.
- Nothing.
Hey.
- Is that stain gone?
- Look, I honestly don't feel
like I can scrub any harder.
It's definitely faded.
Like my love for you.
- Fucking asshole.
- Is that enough?
- Maybe.
I don't think I should reward you
until you get that cleared up.
Come on, come back to me.
- Make your mind up.
Huh, stain got you turned on?
- No, you throwing stuff
around got me turned on.
- That's a bit sadistic, isn't it?
- Want to come and throw me around a bit?
- I do.
I very much would like to come
and throw you around a bit.
- Are you sure?
- Hey, this is the face
of a man who's sure.
- I believe in you, Matthew.
- Mm, I love it when you call
me Matthew, my full name.
- Matthew.
Hey.
- Hey.
I'm sorry, Bastien.
- It's all right.
- Is it?
- We've only been here a day.
There'll be other times
- I still struggle with that.
I still imagine you with-
- I know.
I know.
But you're going to have
to stop and let it go.
- I did.
I have.
It's that I...
I tas probably the wine.
I had a lot.
- Yeah.
- You do know it's not you, though.
- I do.
You're upset.
- Good.
Good.
- Come on, let's go to bed.
- In a minute.
- Come on, it's all right.
- It doesn't feel all rright.
It's fucking embarrassing.
I'm fucking embarrassed.
- I'm telling
you it's all right.
Come on, come in.
- Maybe just give me one minute.
- Fine.
- Or don't.
- Don't what?
- I just need a minute, don't be short.
- It's not even short though, is it?
Matt, it's a joke.
I was joking.
Come on, don't be sensitive.
It didn't even make sense.
It was a joke.
- Hilarious.
- I said it's all right.
Have a minute.
- Hey!
Everything all right over there, pickle?
- Uncle Lewis, I said
stop calling me pickle.
Like stop.
- You love being called pickle.
- No, you love calling me
pickle, and it's a cliche.
- What, your old uncle
can't be cliche, no?
- Is Aunt Matilda there?
- Tilda, Tilda!
I've got Bastien on the screen.
Oh, she's waltzed off somewhere.
I can't find her.
Now listen, you've got a very
important task, all right?
- And what is that,
taking care of the house?
- Oh no, fuck the house.
You've gotta remember to feed the fish.
She did remember to leave
the note, didn't she?
- Yes, she did.
And by the way, what are their names?
- Tilda, what's the
bloody fish's name again?
Matil-
Oh, fuck it, God knows where she is.
Just go with Fishy for now.
But remember to feed the nameless bastard.
- Okay.
- Now listen, are you enjoying the house?
- Yes, it's lovely.
And Matt settled in straight away.
- Oh look, there he is!
Hey, Matt, come on over here.
I wanna see your face.
- Lewis!
- Come and.
- Hey, how are you?
I love the house.
- Oh, I'm good.
Look, I've left a 16-year-old
bottle of Lagavulin
in the cupboard for you.
Consider it a welcome to Barcelona.
- Oh, Lewis.
Thank you, you didn't have to.
- And what about me?
- Oh, don't be stupid.
You couldn't tell a single
malt from a can of Coke.
I've seen you diluting a whiskey with ice
like some kind of barbarian.
Am I right, Matt?
- Oh, you're quite
right, can't be trusted.
- And did you call for a reason?
- Yes, I did.
Now listen, the boiler is a bit dodgy.
It cuts out every now and then.
- Okay?
- So you need to give
the fucker a good whack
before you take a shower.
It seems to work.
- A good whack, that's your advice?
- Anyway, enjoy the week.
- Love to you both.
- He did, yeah.
- He did, really?
Why?
Something you wanna try?
- I don't.
Stop looking at me like that.
- Like what?
- You know what.
Hey!
- Hey.
Fancy a little walk?
Matt.
- Huh?
- Do you want to walk
around the town with me?
- Um...
Nah, not right now I don't think.
- Okay.
I might still go.
- Oh, I can come with you.
- No, no, no, no.
Stay there, chill.
And I'll be back in a few hours.
- You sure?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Okay.
- Hey, lazy man.
- Hey.
How was your walk?
- Good.
That's disgusting.
It's almost boiling.
Eh, you've gone and burnt yourself.
How much sunblock did you use?
- It hurts.
- Yeah, I told you.
Listen, I met a guy who offered
to give us a tour of some of the sites.
Are you up?
- What, now?
- No, not now.
He cannot now, but he
gave me his phone number
and he said we could
call him if we fancy it.
- Where'd you meet him?
- He saw me struggling on
my way back to the beach
- There I was thinking you were
Spanish, fluent in Spanish.
- Well, I'm confident, but yeah.
Well anyway, he saw me
struggling and he offered.
Do you fancy it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Maybe, yeah.
- Maybe?
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
This is like no, no, no, no.
- Ah shit, fuck.
We forgot to whack the
bloody boiler thing.
- That's the meeting
point, but I don't see him.
- What time did you say?
- What time is it?
Yeah, that's the time.
- Maybe he's forgotten?
- Oh, there he is.
- Oh, great.
- Bastien.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Hello.
I'm good, and you?
- Good.
And good to meet you, Max.
- Matt.
It's Matt.
My name's Matt.
- Oh, okay.
I'm Florent.
- Good to meet you, Florent.
- So in,
what do you wanna see first?
- I was hoping to see the market.
It starts with a v, but I forgot the name.
- Mercat de la Boquera.
Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful.
- Yeah, and Matt was wanting to see...
- Oh, it was a bit of a joke, really.
- No, no, the football stadium.
- Camp Nou.
- Yes, that's it.
- I wasn't really serious.
- Don't wanna see that, do you, Max?
Waste a trip here seeing football, do ya?
- I was joking.
- I'm gonna take you
to Quadrat d'Or first.
- Oh yes, I've been there before
and I want to do it again.
- It's gorgeous.
- It's beautiful.
- Just up here, all right?
Penis pistol.
- Jesus fuck.
- It's all right, Max.
We all have our problems
now and then, don't we?
- They're not...
They're not for me.
- No, no, they're for your dad, right?
He is a lovely man you've got there.
Mm.
- Are you gay?
- I dabble.
You've been together long?
- Relatively.
- Relatively?
- Three years.
- Is it serious?
- Yes.
Yes, of course it's serious.
- Well, you say of course,
but relationships are
different, aren't they?
My brother's been with
this girl for five years.
Five years, now that's a long time.
But he wouldn't call it serious.
- Then why is he with her?
- Ah, security, comfort, I dunno.
I think we all get to an age
where we just settle with what we have.
But by that time, we've stopped caring.
I think we're all too
serious when we're young
when really we should be more free.
Do you get that?
- It depends.
- On?
- On characteristics.
I don't know.
Some people like serious relationships.
- Like you?
- Yes, like me.
Like Bastien.
- Ah, maybe you're different,
or maybe you use too much of this.
Mind if I have one?
So why'd you come to Barcelona?
- Don't know, the architecture.
- Ah, yeah.
It's beautiful architecture for sure.
I've been with mine for
a year and a bit now.
- Your what?
- Girlfriend.
- You have a girlfriend?
- Yeah, not like you though.
- What does that mean?
- Well, we're not just for each other.
We're not possessive, selfish in that way.
We're not-
- Monogamous.
- Right.
You know, you've been
very quiet on my tour.
- Have I?
- You don't like me, Max.
- I think you're fine.
- No, no, you don't like me.
You think I'm trying to take your man.
- Are you?
- Maybe.
Of course not.
I like meeting new people.
I like you, Max.
- That was incredible.
Thank you Florent for a wonderful day.
- Of course.
And you know where I am
if you wanna do it again.
- Absolutely.
Good to meet you.
- Do you have far to walk to get home?
- A little, not too far.
- Listen, why don't you
come in for a quick drink?
- Oh no, no, I can't do that.
I should get back.
- Really, you sure?
- You see, we both want you
to have a drink with us.
- But we understand that
you need to be getting back.
- Come up, I'll get changed.
And we have one drink.
- Okay.
Okay, one drink.
Max has twisted my arm.
- Fuck me.
So you don't eat meat at all?
- Oh, what a lovely place.
So your aunt, she doesn't
mind you having this place,
what, for the week?
- Like at all, no bacon?
- No, um...
Oh, what do they call it here?
Jamon.
- Jamon.
And it's dry cured ham, not bacon.
No, she doesn't actually live here.
She lives a bit further out of the city.
- And what do you do, Bastien?
What do you do back in England?
- Yeah, fuck, it doesn't matter.
- I'm a teacher.
- What is it that you teach?
- I teach art.
- I can imagine, I can imagine.
I can imagine you being a very,
very artistic man, Bastien.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
What kind of art do you do?
- I mainly like pencil drawing.
- Do you have any with you?
Any for me to have a look at?
I'll be a kind critic, I promise.
- Yes, but...
- Come on, show me.
- Well, don't pressure him.
- And what do you do, Max?
- I'm a trader.
- Okay.
And Bastien, will you draw me?
Cool, give me a demonstration.
- You've done this before.
- Come on, draw me.
- Okay.
This is a rush job,
don't judge me too harsh.
- You are wonderful.
Isn't he wonderful, Max?
- Mm-hm.
- Don't ever be
embarrassed by your talent.
Can I keep this?
If you don't mind.
- It is drawn for you.
- Such a delicate artist.
So, what does a trader do?
- Me, of course
We trade.
- They don't really do anything.
They make money for the sake of money.
- Right, well, hold on.
It's more complicated than that.
We put our money
into a company-
- More wine?
- Sure, thank you.
- And you do you do these
little tours as a profession?
Is this what you do?
- Oh no, not at all.
No, I came to Barcelona
to explore new things,
but I am studying at the moment.
- Oh yeah, studying what?
- I really like
animals, so I'm studying to be-
- A farm boy.
- A vet.
- Vet, that's lovely.
- Really committed to this
whole animal vegan thing,
aren't you?
- Matt.
- What?
- It's very healthy for you.
Helps balance out the wine.
Stop unnecessary weight gain.
- Well, I'm happy with my whiskey.
I'm happy with my meat.
I'm happy with all these things.
- We know, you've said several times.
- So, you don't miss eating meat at all?
- No, not at all.
You get used to it pretty fast.
And you find you can make most meat meals
out of a different food.
- We should try it.
- Yes.
You could try a couple
days a week at first.
- What do you think?
- Maybe.
Yeah, maybe.
Not hugely phased.
- Not phased?
- How adventurous?
- Yeah, well, maybe.
To be honest, I'm not amazing with change.
Creature of habit, you know?
- You are young, Max.
You shouldn't be so, what's the word?
- Rigid.
- Rigid.
- I'm not.
- I tried to take him to an
independent cinema for a change
and he did not like it at all.
And it was just a change of cinema.
- Well, hold on.
That's not fair.
- Yes, it is.
Last month I tried to
take him watch a film
at the Curzon and he did
not understand anything.
The plot was literally a
young man falls in love
with an older woman.
She falls in love back.
And that's the film.
- What?
You're making it sound
simpler than it was.
It was hard to understand.
- Simple, not hard.
- The film was in French.
I mean that I literally
did not understand it.
- It's good to listen to other languages.
Thank you.
- Right, yes, but that's not what I was-
- Anyway, he didn't like it
because it had sex scenes in it.
- What?
- He didn't like it because
you get awkward watching.
- It's obvious Max is trying
his best though, right?
You mustn't be too hard on him.
- Excuse me?
- Oh, you're trying your
best with the pills.
- Pills?
- What the fuck?
- Was that not...
I shouldn't have said anything.
- No, wait, what pills?
- No pills.
- Pills, yes, sorry, that was my mistake.
- Well...
I think that's probably enough for me.
Getting pretty tired.
- Oh, come on.
Have a glass with us.
Don't go to bed.
Don't be that guy, Max.
- No, really, I'm good.
I thought you were only
staying for one glass anyway.
- Matt.
- It's okay, I can go.
I should get back.
- You do you, Florent.
If you want to leave, leave.
You too, Bastien.
I really don't care.
I'm going to bed.
That's all I'm saying.
- Don't have a moment, Max.
- It's Matt.
My name is Matt,
and I'm not having a
fucking moment, Florence.
- That there, that sounded like a moment.
It's not a problem.
I should go.
- Good, Florence.
- It's Florent.
- Don't speak to him like that.
He has done nothing wrong.
- Oh, can't I?
Okay.
I'm so terribly sorry you
are leaving, Florence.
We must have you round
to run your mouth again.
- Max.
Matt, I shouldn't have said anything.
And you've had a drink and
you're not thinking straight.
- Okay.
Okay.
I'm going in there now.
And like I say, you do you.
- Oh, sorry.
Didn't mean to cause a fuss.
- It's not you.
- Yeah!
- You have my number.
If you need anything
else while you are here,
you know where I am.
- Thank you, Florent.
- My pleasure.
And thank you for this.
- Matt.
- What?
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- He's a prick, Bastien.
How can you not see he's
trying to have sex with you?
- Trying to have sex with me?
- Yes.
Yes, he's trying to have sex with you.
He more or less told me when
I was sitting with him today,
all prancing around on
the sofa like a fuck.
- You're paranoid.
- I'm not paranoid.
I can read him like the
predator book he is.
You this blind?
- Grow up.
Why can't you trust me?
Why can't you trust me?
- Why can't I trust you, really?
Because of Natalie.
Because you went and slept with Natalie,
the fucking personal trainer.
Because you're not exactly
the most faithful man
walking around, are you?
- It was eight months ago.
I told you as soon as it happened
and you said you forgave me.
- And I do.
But when I see someone hitting
on you so fucking obviously,
and then you enjoying it.
- You're being such a prick.
- Me?
Me, the prick?
- Can't you see why we
are having trouble here?
Can't you see why we're finding it
so difficult to come together?
- Why?
- Because you jump down my throat
over every little single non event.
- Okay, am I supposed to
believe that we happen
to walk past him on our second day here
and then you happen to
bump into him again?
- Yes, that's exactly what
you're meant to believe
because that's exactly what happened.
And that's exactly what every sane,
normal person would believe.
- And then he happens to
come back here for a drink
and starts posing for your pictures.
He's clearly picking something
up from you, Bastien.
So who's misreading the signs, huh?
Me or him?
- Both of you.
And certainly you.
Why can't we just meet a nice person
who wants to show us around,
have him for a drink,
spend a nice moment?
No, it has to be Matt's show.
It has to be Matt's suspicious.
- Can you honestly, honestly not see
that he's trying to get you into bed?
How are you this fucking blind?
- So what, Matt?
So what?
Does it mean we're gonna
take it to the bed?
If he's got a crush on
me, am I responsible?
And how do you imagine it
would happen with you here?
Would you pick a chair?
Would he go down on me
while my dick is pointing towards the sky?
We came here to fix
us, think this through.
You've become paranoid.
I thought coming here might help.
What did he mean about the pills?
- Don't do that.
- Why not?
You don't even try anymore.
- This, this is me trying.
- It's insulting.
- Bastien...
- If I don't turn you on...
- Where are you going?
- To the bedroom to sleep.
And you can keep those pills out of here.
- What's the difference
between Romeo and Juliet and COVID-19?
- Honest to God, I'm gonna
close this conversation down.
- One is a coronavirus
and the other is a corona crisis!
- Okay, goodbye Lewis.
- Look, it's communication, right?
I don't know.
Communication.
That's what Tilda and I
have got absolutely nailed.
- How's she feeling?
- Ah, she's still under the weather.
Tilda!
- Lewis.
- I've got your
nephew on the screen again!
- No, Lewis, let her rest if she's asleep.
- No, let her be, please.
Speak a bit quieter.
- No, this is what I'm talking about.
Communication.
Matt, Matt!
Right, tell me something.
So, what have you done so far?
- Well, we went to the,
oh, what was it called?
The gold quarter.
- Quadrat d'Or.
- Right, that.
- Are you coming to visit us
or are we having a
virtual relationship now?
- I'm afraid not.
Hey, Matt, have you
heard the one about COVID
and Romeo and Juliet?
- No.
- Well, one's a coronavirus
and the other...
Oh no, hang on, fuck.
Oh no, it's the other way, bollocks.
Look, I've called at
a bad time, haven't I?
- No, no, of course not.
- Yeah, you're not
a very good liar, pickle.
- I'm not lying, Lewis.
- Well, now I know definitely
that something is up
when you don't mind being called pickle.
Look, I'm gonna leave you.
I'm sorry that I've
fucked up your morning.
But before I go, I'm gonna give
you a little bit of advice.
- Like your whack the boiler advice?
- Yeah, something like that.
But even better.
As fucking wonderful as this
house and its fish might be,
get out of the place.
Go and enjoy this wonderful city.
Don't force anything, okay?
Be full of care with each other.
Tilda would say the same thing.
Or fucking don't, what do I know?
- Okay, thank you.
Goodbye, Lewis.
Bye.
- What?
- He has always had the worst timing.
- What he said at the end
there, it was quite wise.
- Wise?
Lewis doesn't do wise.
Lewis does sarcastic.
He's right about one thing though.
I'm gonna go out for a walk.
- Happy anniversary, Bastien.
I, uh...
I've got the music working.
Dinner is nearly ready.
Sit down, sit down, please.
Let me pour you a glass of wine.
I need to get back to the steaks.
But I'll be out in a sec.
I am sorry about last night.
- I know, I know you're trying.
It's not your fault.
- It's not yours either.
It's like when we first started dating,
- What?
- This, staying up all night drinking,
smoking, playing a silly game.
- What's the score?
- Seven to one.
- Mm.
- Look, it's all about luck anyway.
- Mm, you wish.
- Okay.
If you could go back and-
- No, no.
- If you had to, if you had to go back
and change something about your past,
what would it be?
- Uh, Matt?
- Oh God, no, I don't mean that.
No, something else,
like I spend so much time lying away
just thinking about all my
most horrible experiences
and reliving them like
over and over and over.
I know it can't be healthy,
but I can't help it.
You know?
It's even small things, tiny things.
- Like what?
- Like when I was 11, right?
I had this birthday party
and I invite my best friends,
but I invite some of the cool kids too.
And we're playing football.
And the plan was we'll go back
to mine, have a sleepover,
watch some movies.
And we finish playing football
and one of the cool kids,
he starts bullying one of
my best friends, you know,
he's not quite cool enough for him.
Okay, and to seem cool as well,
I tell this friend of mine,
I say, oh, you are not
invited to the sleepover
and you gotta go home.
I tell him he was only invited
to the first part of the party.
And well, you know, he was
really upset and he went home.
I did that.
I did that just to look cool.
- So that's your most horrible experience?
- I was just a really shitty
thing to do, you know?
It's things like that that I think about.
- Does she have brown hair?
- My friend?
No, he was a guy.
Ginger, I think.
- No, the game.
- Oh.
Oh fuck, yeah.
- So that's the thing you'd change?
- I don't know, it's just one
of the whole host of things
that keeps me awake.
You don't have that?
- No, not in that way.
I am worried if I'll
ever be a proper artist
and if I'll ever be
showcased in a gallery.
- So I'm lying there
freaking out about yesterday.
And you are lying there
freaking out about tomorrow.
Hey, at least you've got
some control over this month.
- I think it would be being a teacher.
- What's that?
- I regret.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- No it wouldn't.
You love teaching.
You're always talking about your kids.
- Yes, I do, but this is
not where I want to be.
Art is what I'm made for.
- Well, think about all the
jobs out there, you know,
thousands, tens of thousands,
hundreds of thousands.
I mean, new professions
are being made every day.
How do you know to pick the right one?
- The right one?
It's your go.
- Bastien, how have you
narrowed this down so fast?
- This game is sexist.
- This game is sexist.
- This game is sexist.
There are more men than women.
If you pick a woman, you
are at the disadvantage.
Nice metaphor, right?
- Why does everything have
to be political with you?
Why is everything some kind
of social justice comment?
You know, racism, sexism.
- Because everything is political.
This bloody game is just a
reflection of our sexist society.
I mean, look at men's dominance
in politics, sport, law.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, sport.
There's women's tennis, football, rugby.
- Yeah, and they get
paid less than the men.
- Yeah, because the world,
whether you like it or not,
is about profit.
And male footballers tend
to bring in more money
for the sport because people
tend to watch it a touch more.
- Yes, and why is that?
Why is that that you don't
watch women football?
Look, 2015, the England football team
reached the World Cup semifinal,
but it seemed to fly over everyone's head.
Because it was the women.
2018, the men, and all of a
sudden it is the first time
they reached the semifinal since 1990.
- Well, I mean,
did you watch the 2015 Women's World Cup?
- I don't watch any sport.
- Well, there we go.
Don't attack me for not knowing about it
when you didn't know about it
until you saw it in a meme or something.
Right, we live in a liberal society
where we can choose what we
wanna watch and what we don't.
Does he have glasses?
- No.
- Brilliant.
- Because being shortsighted
is a disadvantage
in real life and in a game.
- Definitely the worst game in the house.
- That's the only game we have.
- Have Othello, don't they?
- Wow, that's probably
the worst game around,
probably a racist creator there.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
I mean, think about it,
Blacks versus whites.
They clearly wanted a race war.
That and chess.
Actually, you couldn't find
a politically correct game anymore.
Does she have green eyes?
- Yes, she has green eyes.
Of course she has green eyes.
- So what did you really want to be?
- Right.
We have blabbered our way
through half a bottle of whiskey here.
They've got more, right?
What do you fancy, more of the same?
You Nick?
- Oh, I just take this.
What?
- I'm guessing who.
Are you Nick?
- Jesus Christ.
How did you get that?
- I went for the most
handsome looking guy,
the one with nothing weird about him
with no obvious handicaps
or distinguishing features.
I figured he'd be the one you go for,
harder for me to narrow down.
That's a nice metaphor for life.
If you're perfect, you've got it made.
I bet Nick can get it up.
- Matt.
- Hey, you.
- Guess what I got for you?
A ticket for the Barcelona game.
- Bastien, you didn't have to.
- We were on one.
- I don't know, but I
wasn't really serious.
I don't need to go see Barcelona play.
- Oh, I know, but we have
been doing this all wrong.
Yesterday was very lovely,
just being here with you talking.
Maybe we shouldn't be
so rigid with ourselves.
All these pressures, you know?
I want to go sightseeing
and you're not so keen.
You want to see the match
and it's not really my thing.
I think it should be okay for us to go off
and do our thing for one afternoon.
We have an entire week.
One afternoon, it's nothing really.
- It's not that I don't.
I do, I do want to sight see with you.
- And we can, but you can
do the things you like
and I can do the things
that you find really boring
and we can come back
together later tonight.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Here I am.
- Bastien.
- You look good.
- How are you, you too.
I like the building.
I think it really captures
the spirit of his work.
Fits in with his artistic
vision in some ways.
I'm an impatient man.
And the bed's metal and it rattles.
- And well, I have a very comfortable bed.
No rattling no matter what you do.
- You never
know, I can be rough.
Where are you taking me, anyway?
- Bastien?
- Hello, Matthew.
Shh, don't move.
I missed you.
- I missed you too.
How was sightseeing?
- Hold on, hold on.
It'll come back.
- Are you all right?
- It's fine, it's fine.
It'll come back.
Wait, hold on.
Wait, let me just...
I just need to...
It's fine.
I just need to...
- It's not working.
This is going nowhere.
- I think we should talk about this.
- We've talked about it.
- I know.
We shouldn't go to bed like this.
In silence.
- We're not in silence.
You don't need to say anything.
- It's not my fault, Bastien.
- I know it's not your fault.
Just need to give you a fucking minute.
- I could use the pills.
- It's not even about that, is it?
That's a fucking remedy.
You should feel up for it.
Why don't you ever instigate?
- What?
- Why don't you ever instigate?
- I do, I instigate.
- No, no, no you don't.
It's been all me.
- Okay.
Okay.
There's this like block in my
head that I can't move past.
- Well, my dick works.
My dick is not dead.
So what, we're never gonna have sex again?
- I'm obviously not saying that.
- So what are you saying?
- I don't know, I don't
know, I don't know.
Maybe I need more time.
- How much more time, man?
'Cause it's been quite a fuck of time!
You need to see someone.
- I can't control this, Bastien.
Maybe it's...
- Maybe it's what, maybe
it's what fault, huh?
It's always something else's fault.
Its the condom's fault.
Then I go on prep and you don't.
Then it's the alcohol, food.
But you drink even more.
So what now?
The mattress, the mattress fold?
I'm starting to feel
like the excuses are wearing a bit thin.
- Okay, I think we both
know what it really is.
Don't we, Bastien?
- I don't want to have this conversation.
- We never properly have it.
You keep fucking breezing past it.
You're never honest.
You can't sit there as the
one that's done this to me,
and then tell me to go and see someone.
- Sorry, sorry.
Done this to you?
- Yeah, yeah, done this to me.
- You're not satisfying me.
This cannot be satisfying for you.
- Fuck!
- You need to hear it said.
You need to hear it said out loud.
A relationship is emotional,
but it's also physical.
It's also sexual.
And right now, I am not attracted to you.
- Yeah, well right now, I'm
not attracted to you either.
Like right now, in this moment
right now, I don't love you.
- Well, I haven't loved you,
loved you like properly loved you,
loved you like I did
for nearly a year now.
You so wrapped up in
your hurt and yourself
you forgot to ask yourself
why I did cheat on you in the first place.
- You said it was a mistake, a one-off.
- It was a mistake, yes.
But why did I do it?
I did it because even when
we were in a good place,
you lacked something.
You lacked artistry.
You lacked passion, like real passion.
- I have passion.
- Passion for what?
For football, for shit music?
Everything's so black and white with you.
- What complete wank.
What insipid bollocks.
I like artistry.
You want me to have passion, Bastien?
Passion for what?
For what?
- And once again, you become
a fucking parody of yourself.
- Do you listen to yourself?
Do you hear yourself when
you say these things?
Does it make you wonder
why I don't want you to touch me?
- You're speaking as if that's the be all
and end all of our problems.
- Well, isn't it?
- No.
No, it's not.
But you're right that since
we haven't been physical
in eight months, it's a bit of a big one.
- Go fuck yourself, Bastien.
- Well, someone fucking should.
- Morning.
You, uh...
You want coffee?
Please.
- What is there left to say?
- We had a fight, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean the things I...
I know you didn't mean
the things that you...
- I did.
- You did?
- I meant it.
- I figured you were angry
in the heat of the moment.
- I was angry.
I was in the heat of the moment.
I also meant it, all of it.
I think we have a problem here.
I think this is it for us.
- We can still talk.
- We've done enough talking.
I don't want to talk anymore.
- Please.
Please don't leave the-
- Don't beg.
You'll make it harder for both of us.
- I love you.
I didn't leave you when you cheated
because although it hurt,
even though it really fucking hurt,
and despite what you said last night,
I knew you still loved me.
- I don't know.
Maybe you should have
broken up with me then.
- Why?
- You were like a puppy.
You'd forgive any...
You shouldn't have forgiven me
if you weren't actually
going to forgive me.
It was not fair on either of us.
- I have.
- Stop it.
Every time you say it,
it means less and less.
I'm going to my aunt's.
- Where were you last night?
- Why?
Where do you think I went?
- With Florent.
- With Florent?
- Yeah.
- You think I went to a stranger's house
and had sex with him after our argument?
You are pathetic, paranoid,
and so obsessive and so fucking pathetic.
- Stop calling me paranoid.
- You cannot stand up for yourself.
I cheat on you.
And what, you take me
back no questions asked.
You think I went to a stranger
and had sex with him on
our holiday after a fight?
And all you can muster is,
I think you went to Florent.
This is the problem.
This is why you so fucking vanilla.
This is why you can't get it up.
Your own dick has become bored of you.
- So you admit you were fucking Florent.
- Jesus Christ, you heard
nothing that I said.
No, no you fucking paranoid, pathetic.
- Stop calling me paranoid.
- I was at my aunt.
I was at my aunt's place.
But this is not the point.
- Bullshit, that's bullshit.
I don't, no, bullshit.
- And you will never believe me.
But lemme tell you something.
If I had gone to Florent,
I bet he would've turned
over and let me fuck him.
And he would've fucked me hard
to make it for eight months of no sex.
- So that's what you want, is it,
me to throw you around,
to treat you like the slut that you are?
- It would be better than this.
At least it would be passionate.
- Well, fuck off and have Florent then.
Go on, off you Fuck, Bastien.
If you've got some kind
of revolting fantasy
with suffocating and spitting
and all that vile shit, then fuck off.
You fucked up bitch wolf.
- That's the spirit.
Huh, you can imagine this.
You can imagine him spitting
on me and choking me
and tying me up.
- I hope he fucks you to death.
- Oh, would my death turn you on?
- Get the fuck off, Bastien.
- Would that turn you on?
Oh my God, you're getting hard.
- Stop.
- This is what you like.
Even when you are hard and horny,
you still can't get to action.
It's hilarious!
- Fuck you!
You want me to take control,
do you,.
You wanna be messed up?
that, huh?
Does this feel fucking vanilla to you?
You okay?
- Whoa.
Gorgeous, right?
- Yeah.
- Happy anniversary.
Eat the fish.
I'm starving.
Hey, why don't you put our stuff away
while I get us a takeaway?
- I can't believe
your aunt owns this place.
- See, um...
How's it still playing?
- It's downloaded.
- You downloaded this?
It sounds like elevator music.
= Fucking yes, it's on the internet.
Fucking yes!
Man, fuck.
Sorry.
Hey, at least it wasn't on the speaker.
- No, no, no.
You get a flannel and soap
and you deal with that before soaks in.
- Yep, cool.
Where on earth does your
aunt keep her flannels?
This kitchen is all wrong.
- They're under the sink
and there's nothing
wrong with the kitchen.
This, this is real music.
Hmm?
I'd like to do some sightseeing work.
We're here and I figured, wait, hold on.
- The what?
Sounds like the mafia.
- It's not a mafia, it's a church.
Or, Barceloneta.
- Hmm?
- It's a beach.
- Right.
Yeah, well, obviously
we'll go to the beach.
Hey, it'd be great to go to Camp Nou.
It'd be great to catch a Barcelona match.
You know, when you're in Barcelona,
you should see Barcelona, right?
- Yeah, very romantic.
You're so attuned to what a man wants.
- Yeah.
I'm up for the beach though.
To be honest,
I'm not huge on all this
sighting stuff, you know?
Sometimes nice to just
sunbathe through the book,
get a tan, you know?
- Yeah, Matt, you don't tan, you burn.
- Well, I sometimes tan.
- Are you still talking?
- Sorry, yeah.
Cleaning.
Hey, haven't you been
to these places before?
- It's been years since
I've been with Natalie.
- Right.
- Why is that?
- What's what?
- That.
- Nothing.
Hey.
- Is that stain gone?
- Look, I honestly don't feel
like I can scrub any harder.
It's definitely faded.
Like my love for you.
- Fucking asshole.
- Is that enough?
- Maybe.
I don't think I should reward you
until you get that cleared up.
Come on, come back to me.
- Make your mind up.
Huh, stain got you turned on?
- No, you throwing stuff
around got me turned on.
- That's a bit sadistic, isn't it?
- Want to come and throw me around a bit?
- I do.
I very much would like to come
and throw you around a bit.
- Are you sure?
- Hey, this is the face
of a man who's sure.
- I believe in you, Matthew.
- Mm, I love it when you call
me Matthew, my full name.
- Matthew.
Hey.
- Hey.
I'm sorry, Bastien.
- It's all right.
- Is it?
- We've only been here a day.
There'll be other times
- I still struggle with that.
I still imagine you with-
- I know.
I know.
But you're going to have
to stop and let it go.
- I did.
I have.
It's that I...
I tas probably the wine.
I had a lot.
- Yeah.
- You do know it's not you, though.
- I do.
You're upset.
- Good.
Good.
- Come on, let's go to bed.
- In a minute.
- Come on, it's all right.
- It doesn't feel all rright.
It's fucking embarrassing.
I'm fucking embarrassed.
- I'm telling
you it's all right.
Come on, come in.
- Maybe just give me one minute.
- Fine.
- Or don't.
- Don't what?
- I just need a minute, don't be short.
- It's not even short though, is it?
Matt, it's a joke.
I was joking.
Come on, don't be sensitive.
It didn't even make sense.
It was a joke.
- Hilarious.
- I said it's all right.
Have a minute.
- Hey!
Everything all right over there, pickle?
- Uncle Lewis, I said
stop calling me pickle.
Like stop.
- You love being called pickle.
- No, you love calling me
pickle, and it's a cliche.
- What, your old uncle
can't be cliche, no?
- Is Aunt Matilda there?
- Tilda, Tilda!
I've got Bastien on the screen.
Oh, she's waltzed off somewhere.
I can't find her.
Now listen, you've got a very
important task, all right?
- And what is that,
taking care of the house?
- Oh no, fuck the house.
You've gotta remember to feed the fish.
She did remember to leave
the note, didn't she?
- Yes, she did.
And by the way, what are their names?
- Tilda, what's the
bloody fish's name again?
Matil-
Oh, fuck it, God knows where she is.
Just go with Fishy for now.
But remember to feed the nameless bastard.
- Okay.
- Now listen, are you enjoying the house?
- Yes, it's lovely.
And Matt settled in straight away.
- Oh look, there he is!
Hey, Matt, come on over here.
I wanna see your face.
- Lewis!
- Come and.
- Hey, how are you?
I love the house.
- Oh, I'm good.
Look, I've left a 16-year-old
bottle of Lagavulin
in the cupboard for you.
Consider it a welcome to Barcelona.
- Oh, Lewis.
Thank you, you didn't have to.
- And what about me?
- Oh, don't be stupid.
You couldn't tell a single
malt from a can of Coke.
I've seen you diluting a whiskey with ice
like some kind of barbarian.
Am I right, Matt?
- Oh, you're quite
right, can't be trusted.
- And did you call for a reason?
- Yes, I did.
Now listen, the boiler is a bit dodgy.
It cuts out every now and then.
- Okay?
- So you need to give
the fucker a good whack
before you take a shower.
It seems to work.
- A good whack, that's your advice?
- Anyway, enjoy the week.
- Love to you both.
- He did, yeah.
- He did, really?
Why?
Something you wanna try?
- I don't.
Stop looking at me like that.
- Like what?
- You know what.
Hey!
- Hey.
Fancy a little walk?
Matt.
- Huh?
- Do you want to walk
around the town with me?
- Um...
Nah, not right now I don't think.
- Okay.
I might still go.
- Oh, I can come with you.
- No, no, no, no.
Stay there, chill.
And I'll be back in a few hours.
- You sure?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Okay.
- Hey, lazy man.
- Hey.
How was your walk?
- Good.
That's disgusting.
It's almost boiling.
Eh, you've gone and burnt yourself.
How much sunblock did you use?
- It hurts.
- Yeah, I told you.
Listen, I met a guy who offered
to give us a tour of some of the sites.
Are you up?
- What, now?
- No, not now.
He cannot now, but he
gave me his phone number
and he said we could
call him if we fancy it.
- Where'd you meet him?
- He saw me struggling on
my way back to the beach
- There I was thinking you were
Spanish, fluent in Spanish.
- Well, I'm confident, but yeah.
Well anyway, he saw me
struggling and he offered.
Do you fancy it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Maybe, yeah.
- Maybe?
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
This is like no, no, no, no.
- Ah shit, fuck.
We forgot to whack the
bloody boiler thing.
- That's the meeting
point, but I don't see him.
- What time did you say?
- What time is it?
Yeah, that's the time.
- Maybe he's forgotten?
- Oh, there he is.
- Oh, great.
- Bastien.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Hello.
I'm good, and you?
- Good.
And good to meet you, Max.
- Matt.
It's Matt.
My name's Matt.
- Oh, okay.
I'm Florent.
- Good to meet you, Florent.
- So in,
what do you wanna see first?
- I was hoping to see the market.
It starts with a v, but I forgot the name.
- Mercat de la Boquera.
Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful.
- Yeah, and Matt was wanting to see...
- Oh, it was a bit of a joke, really.
- No, no, the football stadium.
- Camp Nou.
- Yes, that's it.
- I wasn't really serious.
- Don't wanna see that, do you, Max?
Waste a trip here seeing football, do ya?
- I was joking.
- I'm gonna take you
to Quadrat d'Or first.
- Oh yes, I've been there before
and I want to do it again.
- It's gorgeous.
- It's beautiful.
- Just up here, all right?
Penis pistol.
- Jesus fuck.
- It's all right, Max.
We all have our problems
now and then, don't we?
- They're not...
They're not for me.
- No, no, they're for your dad, right?
He is a lovely man you've got there.
Mm.
- Are you gay?
- I dabble.
You've been together long?
- Relatively.
- Relatively?
- Three years.
- Is it serious?
- Yes.
Yes, of course it's serious.
- Well, you say of course,
but relationships are
different, aren't they?
My brother's been with
this girl for five years.
Five years, now that's a long time.
But he wouldn't call it serious.
- Then why is he with her?
- Ah, security, comfort, I dunno.
I think we all get to an age
where we just settle with what we have.
But by that time, we've stopped caring.
I think we're all too
serious when we're young
when really we should be more free.
Do you get that?
- It depends.
- On?
- On characteristics.
I don't know.
Some people like serious relationships.
- Like you?
- Yes, like me.
Like Bastien.
- Ah, maybe you're different,
or maybe you use too much of this.
Mind if I have one?
So why'd you come to Barcelona?
- Don't know, the architecture.
- Ah, yeah.
It's beautiful architecture for sure.
I've been with mine for
a year and a bit now.
- Your what?
- Girlfriend.
- You have a girlfriend?
- Yeah, not like you though.
- What does that mean?
- Well, we're not just for each other.
We're not possessive, selfish in that way.
We're not-
- Monogamous.
- Right.
You know, you've been
very quiet on my tour.
- Have I?
- You don't like me, Max.
- I think you're fine.
- No, no, you don't like me.
You think I'm trying to take your man.
- Are you?
- Maybe.
Of course not.
I like meeting new people.
I like you, Max.
- That was incredible.
Thank you Florent for a wonderful day.
- Of course.
And you know where I am
if you wanna do it again.
- Absolutely.
Good to meet you.
- Do you have far to walk to get home?
- A little, not too far.
- Listen, why don't you
come in for a quick drink?
- Oh no, no, I can't do that.
I should get back.
- Really, you sure?
- You see, we both want you
to have a drink with us.
- But we understand that
you need to be getting back.
- Come up, I'll get changed.
And we have one drink.
- Okay.
Okay, one drink.
Max has twisted my arm.
- Fuck me.
So you don't eat meat at all?
- Oh, what a lovely place.
So your aunt, she doesn't
mind you having this place,
what, for the week?
- Like at all, no bacon?
- No, um...
Oh, what do they call it here?
Jamon.
- Jamon.
And it's dry cured ham, not bacon.
No, she doesn't actually live here.
She lives a bit further out of the city.
- And what do you do, Bastien?
What do you do back in England?
- Yeah, fuck, it doesn't matter.
- I'm a teacher.
- What is it that you teach?
- I teach art.
- I can imagine, I can imagine.
I can imagine you being a very,
very artistic man, Bastien.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
What kind of art do you do?
- I mainly like pencil drawing.
- Do you have any with you?
Any for me to have a look at?
I'll be a kind critic, I promise.
- Yes, but...
- Come on, show me.
- Well, don't pressure him.
- And what do you do, Max?
- I'm a trader.
- Okay.
And Bastien, will you draw me?
Cool, give me a demonstration.
- You've done this before.
- Come on, draw me.
- Okay.
This is a rush job,
don't judge me too harsh.
- You are wonderful.
Isn't he wonderful, Max?
- Mm-hm.
- Don't ever be
embarrassed by your talent.
Can I keep this?
If you don't mind.
- It is drawn for you.
- Such a delicate artist.
So, what does a trader do?
- Me, of course
We trade.
- They don't really do anything.
They make money for the sake of money.
- Right, well, hold on.
It's more complicated than that.
We put our money
into a company-
- More wine?
- Sure, thank you.
- And you do you do these
little tours as a profession?
Is this what you do?
- Oh no, not at all.
No, I came to Barcelona
to explore new things,
but I am studying at the moment.
- Oh yeah, studying what?
- I really like
animals, so I'm studying to be-
- A farm boy.
- A vet.
- Vet, that's lovely.
- Really committed to this
whole animal vegan thing,
aren't you?
- Matt.
- What?
- It's very healthy for you.
Helps balance out the wine.
Stop unnecessary weight gain.
- Well, I'm happy with my whiskey.
I'm happy with my meat.
I'm happy with all these things.
- We know, you've said several times.
- So, you don't miss eating meat at all?
- No, not at all.
You get used to it pretty fast.
And you find you can make most meat meals
out of a different food.
- We should try it.
- Yes.
You could try a couple
days a week at first.
- What do you think?
- Maybe.
Yeah, maybe.
Not hugely phased.
- Not phased?
- How adventurous?
- Yeah, well, maybe.
To be honest, I'm not amazing with change.
Creature of habit, you know?
- You are young, Max.
You shouldn't be so, what's the word?
- Rigid.
- Rigid.
- I'm not.
- I tried to take him to an
independent cinema for a change
and he did not like it at all.
And it was just a change of cinema.
- Well, hold on.
That's not fair.
- Yes, it is.
Last month I tried to
take him watch a film
at the Curzon and he did
not understand anything.
The plot was literally a
young man falls in love
with an older woman.
She falls in love back.
And that's the film.
- What?
You're making it sound
simpler than it was.
It was hard to understand.
- Simple, not hard.
- The film was in French.
I mean that I literally
did not understand it.
- It's good to listen to other languages.
Thank you.
- Right, yes, but that's not what I was-
- Anyway, he didn't like it
because it had sex scenes in it.
- What?
- He didn't like it because
you get awkward watching.
- It's obvious Max is trying
his best though, right?
You mustn't be too hard on him.
- Excuse me?
- Oh, you're trying your
best with the pills.
- Pills?
- What the fuck?
- Was that not...
I shouldn't have said anything.
- No, wait, what pills?
- No pills.
- Pills, yes, sorry, that was my mistake.
- Well...
I think that's probably enough for me.
Getting pretty tired.
- Oh, come on.
Have a glass with us.
Don't go to bed.
Don't be that guy, Max.
- No, really, I'm good.
I thought you were only
staying for one glass anyway.
- Matt.
- It's okay, I can go.
I should get back.
- You do you, Florent.
If you want to leave, leave.
You too, Bastien.
I really don't care.
I'm going to bed.
That's all I'm saying.
- Don't have a moment, Max.
- It's Matt.
My name is Matt,
and I'm not having a
fucking moment, Florence.
- That there, that sounded like a moment.
It's not a problem.
I should go.
- Good, Florence.
- It's Florent.
- Don't speak to him like that.
He has done nothing wrong.
- Oh, can't I?
Okay.
I'm so terribly sorry you
are leaving, Florence.
We must have you round
to run your mouth again.
- Max.
Matt, I shouldn't have said anything.
And you've had a drink and
you're not thinking straight.
- Okay.
Okay.
I'm going in there now.
And like I say, you do you.
- Oh, sorry.
Didn't mean to cause a fuss.
- It's not you.
- Yeah!
- You have my number.
If you need anything
else while you are here,
you know where I am.
- Thank you, Florent.
- My pleasure.
And thank you for this.
- Matt.
- What?
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- He's a prick, Bastien.
How can you not see he's
trying to have sex with you?
- Trying to have sex with me?
- Yes.
Yes, he's trying to have sex with you.
He more or less told me when
I was sitting with him today,
all prancing around on
the sofa like a fuck.
- You're paranoid.
- I'm not paranoid.
I can read him like the
predator book he is.
You this blind?
- Grow up.
Why can't you trust me?
Why can't you trust me?
- Why can't I trust you, really?
Because of Natalie.
Because you went and slept with Natalie,
the fucking personal trainer.
Because you're not exactly
the most faithful man
walking around, are you?
- It was eight months ago.
I told you as soon as it happened
and you said you forgave me.
- And I do.
But when I see someone hitting
on you so fucking obviously,
and then you enjoying it.
- You're being such a prick.
- Me?
Me, the prick?
- Can't you see why we
are having trouble here?
Can't you see why we're finding it
so difficult to come together?
- Why?
- Because you jump down my throat
over every little single non event.
- Okay, am I supposed to
believe that we happen
to walk past him on our second day here
and then you happen to
bump into him again?
- Yes, that's exactly what
you're meant to believe
because that's exactly what happened.
And that's exactly what every sane,
normal person would believe.
- And then he happens to
come back here for a drink
and starts posing for your pictures.
He's clearly picking something
up from you, Bastien.
So who's misreading the signs, huh?
Me or him?
- Both of you.
And certainly you.
Why can't we just meet a nice person
who wants to show us around,
have him for a drink,
spend a nice moment?
No, it has to be Matt's show.
It has to be Matt's suspicious.
- Can you honestly, honestly not see
that he's trying to get you into bed?
How are you this fucking blind?
- So what, Matt?
So what?
Does it mean we're gonna
take it to the bed?
If he's got a crush on
me, am I responsible?
And how do you imagine it
would happen with you here?
Would you pick a chair?
Would he go down on me
while my dick is pointing towards the sky?
We came here to fix
us, think this through.
You've become paranoid.
I thought coming here might help.
What did he mean about the pills?
- Don't do that.
- Why not?
You don't even try anymore.
- This, this is me trying.
- It's insulting.
- Bastien...
- If I don't turn you on...
- Where are you going?
- To the bedroom to sleep.
And you can keep those pills out of here.
- What's the difference
between Romeo and Juliet and COVID-19?
- Honest to God, I'm gonna
close this conversation down.
- One is a coronavirus
and the other is a corona crisis!
- Okay, goodbye Lewis.
- Look, it's communication, right?
I don't know.
Communication.
That's what Tilda and I
have got absolutely nailed.
- How's she feeling?
- Ah, she's still under the weather.
Tilda!
- Lewis.
- I've got your
nephew on the screen again!
- No, Lewis, let her rest if she's asleep.
- No, let her be, please.
Speak a bit quieter.
- No, this is what I'm talking about.
Communication.
Matt, Matt!
Right, tell me something.
So, what have you done so far?
- Well, we went to the,
oh, what was it called?
The gold quarter.
- Quadrat d'Or.
- Right, that.
- Are you coming to visit us
or are we having a
virtual relationship now?
- I'm afraid not.
Hey, Matt, have you
heard the one about COVID
and Romeo and Juliet?
- No.
- Well, one's a coronavirus
and the other...
Oh no, hang on, fuck.
Oh no, it's the other way, bollocks.
Look, I've called at
a bad time, haven't I?
- No, no, of course not.
- Yeah, you're not
a very good liar, pickle.
- I'm not lying, Lewis.
- Well, now I know definitely
that something is up
when you don't mind being called pickle.
Look, I'm gonna leave you.
I'm sorry that I've
fucked up your morning.
But before I go, I'm gonna give
you a little bit of advice.
- Like your whack the boiler advice?
- Yeah, something like that.
But even better.
As fucking wonderful as this
house and its fish might be,
get out of the place.
Go and enjoy this wonderful city.
Don't force anything, okay?
Be full of care with each other.
Tilda would say the same thing.
Or fucking don't, what do I know?
- Okay, thank you.
Goodbye, Lewis.
Bye.
- What?
- He has always had the worst timing.
- What he said at the end
there, it was quite wise.
- Wise?
Lewis doesn't do wise.
Lewis does sarcastic.
He's right about one thing though.
I'm gonna go out for a walk.
- Happy anniversary, Bastien.
I, uh...
I've got the music working.
Dinner is nearly ready.
Sit down, sit down, please.
Let me pour you a glass of wine.
I need to get back to the steaks.
But I'll be out in a sec.
I am sorry about last night.
- I know, I know you're trying.
It's not your fault.
- It's not yours either.
It's like when we first started dating,
- What?
- This, staying up all night drinking,
smoking, playing a silly game.
- What's the score?
- Seven to one.
- Mm.
- Look, it's all about luck anyway.
- Mm, you wish.
- Okay.
If you could go back and-
- No, no.
- If you had to, if you had to go back
and change something about your past,
what would it be?
- Uh, Matt?
- Oh God, no, I don't mean that.
No, something else,
like I spend so much time lying away
just thinking about all my
most horrible experiences
and reliving them like
over and over and over.
I know it can't be healthy,
but I can't help it.
You know?
It's even small things, tiny things.
- Like what?
- Like when I was 11, right?
I had this birthday party
and I invite my best friends,
but I invite some of the cool kids too.
And we're playing football.
And the plan was we'll go back
to mine, have a sleepover,
watch some movies.
And we finish playing football
and one of the cool kids,
he starts bullying one of
my best friends, you know,
he's not quite cool enough for him.
Okay, and to seem cool as well,
I tell this friend of mine,
I say, oh, you are not
invited to the sleepover
and you gotta go home.
I tell him he was only invited
to the first part of the party.
And well, you know, he was
really upset and he went home.
I did that.
I did that just to look cool.
- So that's your most horrible experience?
- I was just a really shitty
thing to do, you know?
It's things like that that I think about.
- Does she have brown hair?
- My friend?
No, he was a guy.
Ginger, I think.
- No, the game.
- Oh.
Oh fuck, yeah.
- So that's the thing you'd change?
- I don't know, it's just one
of the whole host of things
that keeps me awake.
You don't have that?
- No, not in that way.
I am worried if I'll
ever be a proper artist
and if I'll ever be
showcased in a gallery.
- So I'm lying there
freaking out about yesterday.
And you are lying there
freaking out about tomorrow.
Hey, at least you've got
some control over this month.
- I think it would be being a teacher.
- What's that?
- I regret.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- No it wouldn't.
You love teaching.
You're always talking about your kids.
- Yes, I do, but this is
not where I want to be.
Art is what I'm made for.
- Well, think about all the
jobs out there, you know,
thousands, tens of thousands,
hundreds of thousands.
I mean, new professions
are being made every day.
How do you know to pick the right one?
- The right one?
It's your go.
- Bastien, how have you
narrowed this down so fast?
- This game is sexist.
- This game is sexist.
- This game is sexist.
There are more men than women.
If you pick a woman, you
are at the disadvantage.
Nice metaphor, right?
- Why does everything have
to be political with you?
Why is everything some kind
of social justice comment?
You know, racism, sexism.
- Because everything is political.
This bloody game is just a
reflection of our sexist society.
I mean, look at men's dominance
in politics, sport, law.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, sport.
There's women's tennis, football, rugby.
- Yeah, and they get
paid less than the men.
- Yeah, because the world,
whether you like it or not,
is about profit.
And male footballers tend
to bring in more money
for the sport because people
tend to watch it a touch more.
- Yes, and why is that?
Why is that that you don't
watch women football?
Look, 2015, the England football team
reached the World Cup semifinal,
but it seemed to fly over everyone's head.
Because it was the women.
2018, the men, and all of a
sudden it is the first time
they reached the semifinal since 1990.
- Well, I mean,
did you watch the 2015 Women's World Cup?
- I don't watch any sport.
- Well, there we go.
Don't attack me for not knowing about it
when you didn't know about it
until you saw it in a meme or something.
Right, we live in a liberal society
where we can choose what we
wanna watch and what we don't.
Does he have glasses?
- No.
- Brilliant.
- Because being shortsighted
is a disadvantage
in real life and in a game.
- Definitely the worst game in the house.
- That's the only game we have.
- Have Othello, don't they?
- Wow, that's probably
the worst game around,
probably a racist creator there.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
I mean, think about it,
Blacks versus whites.
They clearly wanted a race war.
That and chess.
Actually, you couldn't find
a politically correct game anymore.
Does she have green eyes?
- Yes, she has green eyes.
Of course she has green eyes.
- So what did you really want to be?
- Right.
We have blabbered our way
through half a bottle of whiskey here.
They've got more, right?
What do you fancy, more of the same?
You Nick?
- Oh, I just take this.
What?
- I'm guessing who.
Are you Nick?
- Jesus Christ.
How did you get that?
- I went for the most
handsome looking guy,
the one with nothing weird about him
with no obvious handicaps
or distinguishing features.
I figured he'd be the one you go for,
harder for me to narrow down.
That's a nice metaphor for life.
If you're perfect, you've got it made.
I bet Nick can get it up.
- Matt.
- Hey, you.
- Guess what I got for you?
A ticket for the Barcelona game.
- Bastien, you didn't have to.
- We were on one.
- I don't know, but I
wasn't really serious.
I don't need to go see Barcelona play.
- Oh, I know, but we have
been doing this all wrong.
Yesterday was very lovely,
just being here with you talking.
Maybe we shouldn't be
so rigid with ourselves.
All these pressures, you know?
I want to go sightseeing
and you're not so keen.
You want to see the match
and it's not really my thing.
I think it should be okay for us to go off
and do our thing for one afternoon.
We have an entire week.
One afternoon, it's nothing really.
- It's not that I don't.
I do, I do want to sight see with you.
- And we can, but you can
do the things you like
and I can do the things
that you find really boring
and we can come back
together later tonight.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Here I am.
- Bastien.
- You look good.
- How are you, you too.
I like the building.
I think it really captures
the spirit of his work.
Fits in with his artistic
vision in some ways.
I'm an impatient man.
And the bed's metal and it rattles.
- And well, I have a very comfortable bed.
No rattling no matter what you do.
- You never
know, I can be rough.
Where are you taking me, anyway?
- Bastien?
- Hello, Matthew.
Shh, don't move.
I missed you.
- I missed you too.
How was sightseeing?
- Hold on, hold on.
It'll come back.
- Are you all right?
- It's fine, it's fine.
It'll come back.
Wait, hold on.
Wait, let me just...
I just need to...
It's fine.
I just need to...
- It's not working.
This is going nowhere.
- I think we should talk about this.
- We've talked about it.
- I know.
We shouldn't go to bed like this.
In silence.
- We're not in silence.
You don't need to say anything.
- It's not my fault, Bastien.
- I know it's not your fault.
Just need to give you a fucking minute.
- I could use the pills.
- It's not even about that, is it?
That's a fucking remedy.
You should feel up for it.
Why don't you ever instigate?
- What?
- Why don't you ever instigate?
- I do, I instigate.
- No, no, no you don't.
It's been all me.
- Okay.
Okay.
There's this like block in my
head that I can't move past.
- Well, my dick works.
My dick is not dead.
So what, we're never gonna have sex again?
- I'm obviously not saying that.
- So what are you saying?
- I don't know, I don't
know, I don't know.
Maybe I need more time.
- How much more time, man?
'Cause it's been quite a fuck of time!
You need to see someone.
- I can't control this, Bastien.
Maybe it's...
- Maybe it's what, maybe
it's what fault, huh?
It's always something else's fault.
Its the condom's fault.
Then I go on prep and you don't.
Then it's the alcohol, food.
But you drink even more.
So what now?
The mattress, the mattress fold?
I'm starting to feel
like the excuses are wearing a bit thin.
- Okay, I think we both
know what it really is.
Don't we, Bastien?
- I don't want to have this conversation.
- We never properly have it.
You keep fucking breezing past it.
You're never honest.
You can't sit there as the
one that's done this to me,
and then tell me to go and see someone.
- Sorry, sorry.
Done this to you?
- Yeah, yeah, done this to me.
- You're not satisfying me.
This cannot be satisfying for you.
- Fuck!
- You need to hear it said.
You need to hear it said out loud.
A relationship is emotional,
but it's also physical.
It's also sexual.
And right now, I am not attracted to you.
- Yeah, well right now, I'm
not attracted to you either.
Like right now, in this moment
right now, I don't love you.
- Well, I haven't loved you,
loved you like properly loved you,
loved you like I did
for nearly a year now.
You so wrapped up in
your hurt and yourself
you forgot to ask yourself
why I did cheat on you in the first place.
- You said it was a mistake, a one-off.
- It was a mistake, yes.
But why did I do it?
I did it because even when
we were in a good place,
you lacked something.
You lacked artistry.
You lacked passion, like real passion.
- I have passion.
- Passion for what?
For football, for shit music?
Everything's so black and white with you.
- What complete wank.
What insipid bollocks.
I like artistry.
You want me to have passion, Bastien?
Passion for what?
For what?
- And once again, you become
a fucking parody of yourself.
- Do you listen to yourself?
Do you hear yourself when
you say these things?
Does it make you wonder
why I don't want you to touch me?
- You're speaking as if that's the be all
and end all of our problems.
- Well, isn't it?
- No.
No, it's not.
But you're right that since
we haven't been physical
in eight months, it's a bit of a big one.
- Go fuck yourself, Bastien.
- Well, someone fucking should.
- Morning.
You, uh...
You want coffee?
Please.
- What is there left to say?
- We had a fight, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean the things I...
I know you didn't mean
the things that you...
- I did.
- You did?
- I meant it.
- I figured you were angry
in the heat of the moment.
- I was angry.
I was in the heat of the moment.
I also meant it, all of it.
I think we have a problem here.
I think this is it for us.
- We can still talk.
- We've done enough talking.
I don't want to talk anymore.
- Please.
Please don't leave the-
- Don't beg.
You'll make it harder for both of us.
- I love you.
I didn't leave you when you cheated
because although it hurt,
even though it really fucking hurt,
and despite what you said last night,
I knew you still loved me.
- I don't know.
Maybe you should have
broken up with me then.
- Why?
- You were like a puppy.
You'd forgive any...
You shouldn't have forgiven me
if you weren't actually
going to forgive me.
It was not fair on either of us.
- I have.
- Stop it.
Every time you say it,
it means less and less.
I'm going to my aunt's.
- Where were you last night?
- Why?
Where do you think I went?
- With Florent.
- With Florent?
- Yeah.
- You think I went to a stranger's house
and had sex with him after our argument?
You are pathetic, paranoid,
and so obsessive and so fucking pathetic.
- Stop calling me paranoid.
- You cannot stand up for yourself.
I cheat on you.
And what, you take me
back no questions asked.
You think I went to a stranger
and had sex with him on
our holiday after a fight?
And all you can muster is,
I think you went to Florent.
This is the problem.
This is why you so fucking vanilla.
This is why you can't get it up.
Your own dick has become bored of you.
- So you admit you were fucking Florent.
- Jesus Christ, you heard
nothing that I said.
No, no you fucking paranoid, pathetic.
- Stop calling me paranoid.
- I was at my aunt.
I was at my aunt's place.
But this is not the point.
- Bullshit, that's bullshit.
I don't, no, bullshit.
- And you will never believe me.
But lemme tell you something.
If I had gone to Florent,
I bet he would've turned
over and let me fuck him.
And he would've fucked me hard
to make it for eight months of no sex.
- So that's what you want, is it,
me to throw you around,
to treat you like the slut that you are?
- It would be better than this.
At least it would be passionate.
- Well, fuck off and have Florent then.
Go on, off you Fuck, Bastien.
If you've got some kind
of revolting fantasy
with suffocating and spitting
and all that vile shit, then fuck off.
You fucked up bitch wolf.
- That's the spirit.
Huh, you can imagine this.
You can imagine him spitting
on me and choking me
and tying me up.
- I hope he fucks you to death.
- Oh, would my death turn you on?
- Get the fuck off, Bastien.
- Would that turn you on?
Oh my God, you're getting hard.
- Stop.
- This is what you like.
Even when you are hard and horny,
you still can't get to action.
It's hilarious!
- Fuck you!
You want me to take control,
do you,.
You wanna be messed up?
that, huh?
Does this feel fucking vanilla to you?
You okay?