Varsity Punks (2017) Movie Script

If that hits me,
you're gonna be
running laps today.
Where's the ball.
Up against the fence.
Go, go, go, go.
All right, we got two teams,
we need two captains.
Who wants to be captain?
Me! Me! Me!
A.J, get over here!
You're captain.
With that arm
of course you are.
Who else?
Me! Me! Me!
- Ryan!
- Oh yeah!
In yo' faces!
You're first,
you're picking.
Give me Rigo.
Huddle up.
Who should we pick?
We're gonna pick Fred.
Ah man, you both suck.
Can either of you catch?
Come on Ryan,
just pick already.
We only got 30 minutes to play.
Just pick, Ryan.
Who cares.
All right, I pick her.
Mr. B, can I just not play?
Rosendo can be
our cheerleader.
Shut up, A.J!
I don't wanna be in your stupid team.
Whatever, last pick.
My team is the winning team.
You can go find
your team of losers.
- All right, let's play.
- Let's play.
Whoa, whoa, you cannot
just sit down, Rosendo.
This is Physical Education.
You play or you do laps.
I don't care.
Okay wise guy,
five laps, walking. Go!
Ooh, big deal.
All right, that's five laps.
You can stop now.
You can join--
All right, leave the kid alone.
Leave the kid alone.
He's actually pretty fast.
I'm faster.
Oh, you think so?
I don't wanna race.
This is just
a friendly foot race.
Who wants to see
who's the fastest?
You're gonna go to
the fence and back.
Winner gets a Gatorade.
Lexi, you're starting the race.
Look! They're racing!
Defense, let's go.
Hussle off the field.
Good job.
Good job.
What was that bullshit
out there, Juarez?
I swear, you miss
another tackle like that
I'll have you running laps
in hundred degree
weather again.
And you can forget
about getting this inhaler back.
You look like a frickin' retard
with this thing.
Offense, get in there.
Let's go, hustle up!
Touchdown Vikings!
Number 23 Rigo Chavez!
That was a 27-yard pass
by A.J. Montoya!
All right Vikes, on the count of
three we're gonna do the wave!
One, two, three!
All right guys,
let's get the hell outta here.
What's up?
You guys leaving already?
It's not even half-time.
Dude, like we're really here
to watch the game.
We're gonna go
decorating tonight.
A dickhead's car,
maybe some trees.
You guys are agents
of karma, man.
Let's roll.
No one throws toilet roll
like you.
I'm just waiting for some fools
that owe me money.
I mean, you guys handle
Oh, and kick ass
at the race tomorrow, man.
- So you're not going?
- For what?
I'm not even racing.
Well, the coach
still wants you to be there
even if you're ineligible.
Anyway, I think I see them.
I'll catch you vatos later.
Think about it, bro.
Guys, let me get
some of those nachs.
A.J, that was awesome!
That pass... wow!
Hey Jimmy, go uh...
just go away,
will ya, for a sec?
And tie your friggin' shoes,
will ya?
That Jimmy,
he's so clueless isn't he?
Anyway, you're doing
great, A.J.
Let's work it up the middle
and give Rigo his good runs.
Let's hit this sorry ass team
from all directions, huh?
- I'm with it, Coach.
- All right.
This is it.
Pass me something.
- Boo-ya!
- Touchdown! Number 45...
In yo face, in yo face!
I was like, I was like...
That's right!
That's right!
Let's go! Let's go!
Did y'all see my touchdown?
I was like, ah...
I didn't think
you were gonna catch that.
I give you props on that one.
I didn't think
you were gonna catch that.
Dude, your car.
Hey, what the--
Hey, come on, man!
Hey, don't laugh.
This is the second time already.
Is that...
Is that a condom?
Ugh! Oh, dude. Ugh!
You gotta come over to my house
after practice this week.
My dad's gonna be
of town for work.
Ah, you know, ah,
we're getting out of practice
late these days,
and by then I'm spent.
Ugh, jocks.
I just don't get it.
Seems like some
silly high school stuff.
I know.
I just wanna
graduate already.
Fellas, what's up, dude?
A.J, what's going on, dude?
Ay, what's wrong
with your hand?
No beer, brotha.
All right.
Live fast, die young.
Take this shot, bro.
No deal.
Just take
the freakin' shot,
come on.
Oh, Jimmy!
Good job, bro.
Take a shot, bro.
Yo, there's no more beer.
Ay, there's no more beer.
Someone go for a beer run!
Ay, ay, ay.
Jimmy can do the beer run.
Beer run! Beer run!
Ay, if you don't do
the beer run,
the women
are gonna leave, Jimmy.
- Here, come on.
- Don't think...
I got this.
I got this.
we're homies, right?
We go way back,
pee-wee league football.
Good times.
Quit peer pressuring him, man.
He's a good soul.
All right, you'll do
the beer run then?
Fuck it.
I'm down.
Give me another shot though.
Give me another shot.
Let's do this.
Watch it, dog. I mean,
I always be seeing the cops around here.
So just watch it.
Don't trip, bro.
I'ma drive this shit
in stealth mode.
- That's right.
- Yeah, boy.
So how you gonna do it, J?
I'm gonna go in there
all cool
and, uh, grab two cases.
Yo, two cases?
Two cases?
I'ma grab two,
and jam the hell outta there.
Yeah, dude!
That's straight strong man
competition right there, boy.
- You ready?
- I'm ready.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Okay, now, go get it.
All right?
Ay, ay,
and get me some skittles too.
And some corn nuts,
too, fool.
No... maybe.
I saw that picture you posted.
Are you for real?
What's up, Eddie?
You know, just chillin'.
Ay, todo calmado
around here, huh?
it's a good neighborhood.
That's wassup.
Just let me know
if any hoods or punks
give you any trouble.
I'll come over and, uh,
well, you already know, man.
All right, my boy.
You have a good night.
You too, man.
Be safe.
- Hey!
- Oh, shit!
What the hell
are you waiting for?
Run kid, run!
Ay, did you get my skittles?
Man, hurry up.
Just leave it, just leave it,
just leave it!
Come on, let's go!
- Wooo, nice!
- You the champ, dawg,
- you thee champ!
- Ahh!
Oh my god.
My fuckin' hand.
Ay, just gimme the keys.
I'll start the car.
Don't listen to him, mijo.
You know how your dad gets.
I don't care.
I just wanna hurry.
I said bye, mijo.
Bye, mom.
Are your gonna
make it to our race today?
You know it's hard for me.
I have to work.
But I'll try, okay?
Either way,
good luck on the race today.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
'm gonna kick your ass.
You guys better settle down.
Where's your coach anyway?
Uh, our coach
is meeting us there.
Well, then who's in charge?
Um, the boys coach,
Coach Menlo.
All right, well,
I'm giving him five minutes,
then I'm calling the district.
- All right?
- He'll be here.
Yeah, he's just a little late.
Look, here comes Coach.
Come on.
Sorry, boys.
Whoa Coach,
are you hungover?
Just... I couldn't sleep.
I don't drink alcohol anymore.
- Why not?
- Allergic.
It causes me take off my clothes
and act like an a-hole.
So is that why
you don't have a girlfriend?
He doesn't have a girlfriend
'cause he's broke.
All possible answers.
Anyone else?
Is it because
you have a fat belly--
All right,
all right, shut up.
Let's get moving before you
say something hurtful.
We gotta close that gap.
In first place,
last year's
defending champs...
Orange Coast High School.
Give it up.
JV gets medals too, uh?
Huh, nice outfit.
Nice ponytail.
Let's go.
I hate those guys.
Dude, those guys
are good every year.
- Man, they're tall.
- Ah, that doesn't matter.
You saw that guy who won
the L.A. Marathon, right?
He was short.
Prefontaine was short.
And Prefontaine had a mustache
like mine, right Coach?
Yeah, except he didn't
have his by Jr. High.
But seriously,
we gotta get psyched.
We're coming off a strong summer
with our best team yet.
Your senior captain, Rosie,
- third place today...
- All right, Rosie.
you all run hard.
I like that.
did I ever tell you guys
about my first love?
What was her name?
- It wasn't a her.
- A him?
Nah, come on cabron,
no, no, no.
Here, hold this.
- Oh!
- That's badass.
Running was my first love.
Before I even dated girls,
I was XC to the core.
Wait, we can date girls, Coach.
You should see me at
school, I mean,
- I'm picking up all the time.
- Shut up, Simon.
Simon, I love your jokes, man,
but listen, seriously,
this can be
our best season yet...
our championship season.
Hey, you hear that?
- You guys want some ice cream?
- Hell, yeah.
Yeah, how 'bout some
paletas, right?
Yeah, why not.
What flavor do you want?
Well go, go get 'em.
Go, go.
Are you guys kidding,
Three miles from everyone.
Put your things down.
JV, gimme two.
Why you guys smiling? Huh?
Let's listen up, all right?
You guys
have a responsibility
with my team.
One gets hurt,
and we all get hurt.
And boy,
did you guys hurt
the wrong one this time.
So much hard work
so you guys
can just fuck it up!
Do you think I'm just here
just because
this is fun for me?
We're out
our starting quarterback.
Do you know what that does?
I swear,
you guys
really blew it this time,
and I'm gonna
make you pay for it.
I want you out there
ready for a hard practice
as soon as Coach Cruz
is done with you.
A hundred gassers,
in the sun, all of 'em.
If any of these runts puke,
start over.
All right, you guys heard him.
You brought it upon yourselves.
I want you guys on the field
in less than five minutes.
Now, I know
a lot of you kids
just don't like math,
but come on, guys.
I like math, Miss Rios.
Yeah, right.
And specially for you
seniors in here,
you have to pass Algebra
if you want to graduate.
Now A.J,
don't be afraid to ask
for help, okay?
I'm available before and
after school for tutoring.
Miss Rios, you can
um, you can tutor me?
No, no, I need home tutoring.
I need you to come to my house.
I need sextra credit.
As a matter of fact,
why don't you boys
come up to my desk
and I'll give you a little slip
for some
"private tutoring,"
some one-on-one time.
- Come on.
- Let's go, dude.
I'm first. I'm first.
No, no, no.
Here you boys go.
Plenty of study time
in detention.
Now go see your counselors.
Let's go!
Ay, you guys want some milk
for those cookies?
They're weak, man.
They're weak.
I don't even know
why they're in here.
I'll tell you one thing,
- somebody egged my house again.
- Again?
- Again.
- That's the second time this week.
I know. I'm gonna find the son
of a bitch who egged my house
and I'ma take a shit
on his lawn, man.
But seriously,
I mean, come on.
She doesn't even
let you get a piercing.
Man, that's gonna freakin' hurt.
I'll catch you guys outside.
Oh, just because you can
google concussion,
you think
you're a doctor now?
Go gear up, and let us
worry about stuff like that.
- Unbelievable fatass.
- Kids, man.
Ay, Coach,
can I talk to you for a minute?
Um, one sec, A.J.
You know what,
go set up the cones for practice.
I gotta talk to Cruz
real quick.
Yes, sir.
Sorry, sorry.
Would any of you
fine gentlemen
tell me why there's football
equipment in my office?
You got evicted, Menlo.
JV Coach Sanchez
needed an office.
- So...
- I see.
Yep so, uh,
all your little pink ribbons,
you can go
and hang those somewhere else.
How 'bout that?
Find another chalkboard,
Well, you guys
are really funny.
Uh, let me bend over like the
rest of the administration
and just give you
everything you want.
Um, excuse me?
How long you been
teaching here?
Oh that's right,
you don't.
Cruz, Sanchez, myself,
we're teachers.
We've earned this.
- Online masters, homeboy.
- That's right!
- Fall of 2016!
- Pop that collar!
You're just trying
to figure this shit out.
Ay, uh, I gotta ask you a question
though, man, straight out.
You don't get embarrassed
driving that old wagon around,
that national lampoon
thing, huh?
That thing...
that thing has character.
Oh that's right,
losing teaches character,
right Menlo?
You know what's funny, man,
is you've got the most character
in the whole school, man.
Way to go.
I'm proud of you, dawg.
You... Right here!
Good luck.
There's the door.
Get the hell outta here.
Everyone still in here
is gonna owe me 50 up-downs.
Let's go!
You guys,
get to practice, too.
Screw you,
you're not my coach.
Ay, you defiant little--
Come here, you little punk!
A.J, come on!
You and Jimmy should
have the cones set up by now.
And why the heck you dressed
for practice anyway?
Well, Coach, I was hoping
I could do some workouts today,
maybe bleachers, or anything
you need me to do to stay fit--
For what?
You're no use to us out there.
Your season's done.
I-I know, but, um,
maybe I can recover
for college ball.
Ha ha!
College ball?
That's a whole
nother level of football,
and I'm sorry
to break it to you,
but size does matter, kid.
But I mean, you said...
I am the Valley's leading
quarterback in passing yards,
and All-League City MVP--
Yeah, the city of El Monte,
not Dallas, Texas.
Look, A.J,
you're a good athlete,
no doubt.
You ruined your chances
when you acted reckless.
A.J, son...
you're still part
of the team.
Come along for the ride.
I, I wanted to be a champ.
You are a champ, champ.
But what are you gonna do, huh?
- I've--
- Hold that thought.
I gotta take a piss
before practice.
And take these towels outta here.
They smell like ass!
- Good job!
- Good job!
Ay, I thought
you were too cool to run.
Yeah, looking
a little tired there, A.J.
Legs burning a little bit, man?
Too... tired...
need... water.
And about a mile to go
and still no cheerleaders.
Later dick.
See you at
the finish line, bro.
That's all you guys got?
What the hell happened
to you guys?
Third and 19
for Monte Valley...
Listen up,
we have our first
league meet in two days,
so today we're doing a nice
five-mile tempo run.
Pace yourselves,
I don't want anyone sore
on race day, okay?
you're varsity this week,
so don't hot dog it,
all right?
So, go ahead
and warm up into it.
I'll meet you guys
back at the finish.
Well, warm up.
Hey, Coach.
Sit down.
Hello there.
Well, well,
looks like we got
a new kid on the team.
You are A.J?
Yes, sir.
these are our XC boys.
We're doing a five mile run.
Go ahead and jump in.
that's A.J. Montoya.
I know.
Whoa, too fast.
What happened
to pacing ourselves?
All right,
grab some water.
Everybody, go ahead
get some water.
A.J, come here.
A.J, not bad.
So, I'm thinking we'll try you in the J.V.
race this week to--
I don't do JV.
Trust me, I'm varsity.
Hmm, that means
top seven fastest...
Yes, sir.
I like that attitude.
We'll see what you got.
Go get some water
and stretch.
Yes, sir.
- Coach.
- Yep.
He's a football player,
he's not one of us,
and he doesn't deserve
to run with us.
Why not?
He seems committed.
Let's give him a shot.
- He's a...
- Rosie.
Can the kid run?
Let's give him a shot.
Snap out of it.
If you're looking for Linda,
she just stepped away.
- She did?
- Mm-hmm.
I can wait.
Hey, you coach
the cross country boys,
- don't you?
- Yeah--
I'm Miss Rios.
- Miss Rios.
- Mm-hmm.
I, uh, hear really
good things about you.
Oh yeah, like what?
Like, uh...
you're a
really great teacher.
Okay, that, uh,
- that you're very pretty.
- Ah.
But, you are a really great
teacher too, right?
- Right?
- God.
Is that the only impression
I'm leaving on these kids?
By the way,
I hear we have a really great
- cross country squad this year.
- Actually, we do.
- Thanks for noticing.
- Mm-hmm.
Seems like all everybody
cares about around here
is football.
Well, I like running.
I ran my first
marathon last month?
Oh wow!
Ever think about coaching?
That's where
all the big money's at.
Funny, my boyfriend
said the same thing.
My favorite person
in the whole wide world...
every other Friday.
Uh, check please.
Thank you, beautiful.
It was a pleasure
talking with you.
I have an appointment
to get to.
Oh of course, likewise.
Have a good season.
He's gonna get it!
Come on!
You win some,
you lose some.
All right,
let's get outta here, guys.
Yeah, we're gonna go to
"The Boat."
- Chavita.
- Yeah.
We're gonna go to
"The Boat."
Wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute!
Wait, there's-- what about
the Late Daily Double?
There's two more races left--
Enjoy the suite, Coach.
Hey, watch out for these fools
from South Sierra, man.
- They race dirty.
- What do you mean dirty?
You know,
throwing elbows,
clipping heels...
they're pricks,
and they beat us every year.
Forget the other teams, bro.
But headbands
and black jerseys,
go after them.
Everybody take one step back.
Runners set.
Don't get too excited, A.J!
Make sure you get their splits
at the mile mark.
Okay, come on.
They're going out fast.
4:54, 4:55.
Easy Rosie, easy.
Come on, guys!
Dig, dig!
We got a quarter mile left!
Let's go, Rosie.
Come on, guys.
Hang on, A.J!
A.J.'s falling back, Coach.
gimme a quick score.
Um, I don't know...
it's close.
It's like seven points.
- They got us.
- Ugh!
Come on.
Yo, wait up.
You guys going
to The Post or what?
- Breadsticks?
- I got a full ride, man.
Dick, we'll lap it, man.
Scoot over, Ryan.
Ay, A.J, A.J, A.J, A.J...
it's tight, bro.
You can meet
us there if you want.
Ah, you're a runner,
run there.
Run, Forrest, run!
You been waiting for me?
I'm sorry.
Let's go watch a movie,
what do you say?
I'm actually going to the mall
with the girls in a bit.
Oh, the girls, hitting up
Victoria's Secret again, huh?
Poor guy, dude.
His stomach's probably turning.
- Do you think he's gonna cry?
- Hands are probably shaking.
How long have they been together?
- Absolutely.
- You've seen him cry at games
when he loses.
Imagine him losing a girl now.
- Ay, he's an emotional dude.
- Aw man, this is perfect.
I mean,
football's cool.
I don't know what's going on
half of the time,
- but Track?
- Cross Country
Cross Country, whatever...
who does that?
Look, A.J,
it was just time.
We're changing,
the both of us.
I'm still the same guy.
I know.
I just don't want us
to be awkward around campus.
I mean,
we have the same friends.
Yo, get you phone
out, get your phone out.
- No, I can't record--
- Come on, you got to.
Come on guys,
get up here!
Time to party!
- Ay.
- This sucks.
It was rough, I know.
But forget about this race.
We got the League meet coming up
in a few days.
Hey, we need that win
to set us up for League Finals.
Right now,
just cool down with your team.
- Come on.
- My team?
We suck!
I got last!
Hey, don't say that.
Don't say that.
We don't become champs
You gotta put in
a lot of hard work.
We gotta learn
how to bounce back up.
What am I doing here?
Yeah dude so, I mean,
I think she likes me.
You know?
Dude, just because
she borrowed
a pencil from you
does not mean she likes you.
I bet she doesn't even
follow you on Instagram.
Dude, come on!
She could've asked
anyone in the class
for a pencil,
- but she chose me.
- All right, listen,
have you even talked to her
outside of class?
- Not really, but--
- Exactly, exactly,
- thank you.
- This is a start. It's an opening.
See, Tito gets it.
Rosie, what do you think?
Do you think she likes Simon?
I mean--
Ay, Rosie?
- You forgot this the other day.
- Ay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What do you think
you're doing?
Uh, don't you running punks eat
together behind the dumpsters?
I think I'm done
running for fun.
- Ooh, that's right.
- So that's it?
It's too hard for you?
- Please.
- Dude,
do a real sport like football,
and then you can
come talk to us.
Okay? All right?
Shut up, Ryan.
You don't know shit.
All you do is complain--
"It's too hot today,
hell week is hard"...
You know what?
You wouldn't last one day
in cross country
'cause cross country
takes balls.
Ba-- Cross country
is for pussies, dude.
Come on, A.J.
Forget these guys.
You're a good runner, A.J.
Yeah, and let's face it,
you're probably gonna miss
the whole football season so.
Dude, don't listen
to these guys, okay?
They're lames.
I mean, come on,
look at them.
This guy don't even know
Honestly, what do you guys
know about winning anyways?
All I see
is a bunch of rejects
who always find excuses.
You punks got no fight.
- You got no balls.
- Ohh.
Pussies, dude.
You know what?
Fuck you guys.
Fuck all you football players.
And you A.J,
you're too chicken shit to even
stand out of your own group.
You can go ahead
and sit on those sidelines
sobbing like a little bitch.
We don't need you.
You're a tough guy now,
huh, Rosie?
Tougher than you.
You guys better take
your friend away
before he gets himself hurt.
This is crazy shit, man.
I've seen this backyard boxing
shit on WorldStar,
and they get vicious quick.
You told me this was gonna be
a backyard kickback.
Aren't you tired of these guys
calling us pussies?
Ay pues cabron,
you better know how to fight, man.
I wrestled sophomore year,
You weren't that good.
I don't remember
you winning a lot, man.
I was okay and...
you guys are supposed
to be pumping me up.
- Dude, what do you want?
- All right, all right.
Ay Tito, here,
play something badass.
Watch out, fool.
Yo! Hey!
What're y'all doing here?
- I'm here to box.
- That's nice,
but y'all weren't invited,
so I mean---
Yo Billy, it's cool, man.
These guys are with me.
Let's go, guys.
You guys are crazy.
You seriously here to box?
What about you, Cuong?
You here to box too or what?
Chale. I'm just playing
bookie, you know, taking bets,
making some money
off these vatos.
Rosie, dude,
I'm not gonna box you, man.
My hand.
You guys
should just go home.
No, no, no, no, no,
they should run home.
Do one of these,
like the sissies they are.
Rosie, we should just go, man.
Seriously though,
you guys wanna stay,
you gotta box.
I got a dude over there
who's ready for a match.
- Ryan.
- Wassup?
You want some?
Naaaah, nah, man,
I'm, I'm, I'm clean.
Jimmy, how 'bout you?
You want some?
Ay! Ay, Rosie.
Why don't you go for it?
You're acting all bad.
Why don't you box him?
I mean, uhh,
if you're scared, it's fine.
I understand.
We do have
some ladies over here.
Ladies. Would you like
to box this young gentleman?
- He's only 105, about--
- No, leave it alone,
leave it alone,
It's all good, Ryan.
- I'm just saying.
- Fuck it, I'll fight.
- Oh, damn.
- No, wait, hold on, Billy.
- You'll box Bouncer then?
- Rosie no-- Dude,
we could find someone else to do this.
Billy, come on,
there's like four or five
other people who can fight him.
No, no. I wanna see this.
I wanna see this!
I'ma go get him.
Check it out.
Easy man, easy.
What are you guys doing, man.
You guys got the wrong glove,
on the wrong side.
We don't box, man.
- Ay Cuong.
- Yeah, what's up?
He's not really
a bouncer, right?
Nah. That's his gang name.
Oh, don't worry.
He left the gang life when he was 12.
Hey, so uh,
you taking bets on this fight?
Uh, I don't know if anyone's
gonna bet against Bouncer, man.
He looks kinda drunk.
- I wanna bet.
- What are his odds?
Fool, put your money away.
I'm not gonna take that.
Neta! I wanna bet
that Rosie can last.
- Hmm.
- That sounds good.
All right.
I like that.
We'll do bets on how long
my boy Rosie can last.
All right Rosie,
are you ready?
Come on,
get loose, get loose.
Put your hands up
and go like this.
What's that?
I don't know, man.
Just do it.
- I've seen it on TV.
- Yeah, move around a lot.
Get him tired.
Tire him out.
You're a runner,
come on.
Yeah, seriously, use your endurance.
Just keep moving.
You can outrun him.
Just think it like that, okay?
And no body shots.
Just clean shots to the face.
Always make sure
to use both hands.
You know, double punch,
you know, double power.
- There you go.
- You got this, Rosie.
Just keep doing that.
You got it, man.
Now go kick his ass.
All right, listen,
no kicking,
no nut shots,
no Taekwondo,
nothing like that,
all right?
Let's get down!
All right Rosie,
atta boy!
Come on ref, he's resting.
Dude, are you sure you wanna
keep doing this, Rosie?
You know what?
Then you gotta change it up.
You gotta get dirty.
Come on!
Bouncer, watch out,
watch out!
Nah, let 'em go at it!
MMA style! MMA style!
What is up with you, man?
Leave him alone!
Ay, what's up with you?
You're sticking up for him?
You've changed, dawg.
Nah Ryan,
I don't see the point, man.
You know what?
Fine, whatever, I don't care,
Ay, but finish this though!
Looks like
we're the first ones here.
Let's find a big tree
so we can have some big shade.
No squirrels, huh.
What the heck
happened to you guys?
Did you get jumped
by the SGV Trece or what?
Where's A.J?
A.J. wasn't on the bus.
Today is the day
we take back The League.
This has to be
the springboard
to the rest of the season.
I'm sorry
I missed the bus Coach,
but I did bring
a group of friends here
that'd like
to cheer us on today.
Let's go run.
Come on, come on.
Savage, A.J!
Oh yeah, definitely.
But uh...
Hey, how come you guys
don't have varsity jackets?
- These?
- Yeah.
Those are for jocks, man.
You guys are jocks, hello.
No, there's a big difference.
- Yo, Simon.
- What's up?
Isn't that Karina Mendez?
What's up with her?
What's up?
Simon, he has
the biggest boner for her---
well, the biggest
tiny boner for her.
He swears he's gonna
take her to Homecoming.
Fool can't even dance.
You don't even know
my moves, man.
- Then go talk to her.
- Yeah.
Nah man--
- Come on.
- I'm not...
I'm not dressed
and you know,
she's with her Drama friends.
Whoa, wait, wait,
wait, wait, drama?
- She's in drama?
- Yeah, bro.
You know what that means?
Nah, what?
Dude, drama girls
are the biggest freaks.
They're all down like that.
And she probably smokes
a little bit of...
a little bit of pot.
You never know man.
I'm dead serious, you know.
Go approach her.
Go offer her, um...
your breadstick.
- Screw you, man!
- Just uh...
just go compliment her.
Tell her that, uh,
she's good in that one play...
- or...
- See,
See, I've never seen her act.
- So, lie.
- Are you sure?
Trust, man.
You got it.
Oh, this is gonna be good.
- Just do it, man.
- There it is.
I got this.
Go get 'em, tiger.
[speaking Spanish
- Hi, Karina.
- Hey.
Hey, you were, uh,
good in that play.
I'm sorry.
What did you say?
Uh, you were good
in that play you did.
Which one?
We haven't
had any this year.
Of course you didn't.
Um, I'm talking
about last year.
You know?
Hey, uh...
do you want some
- Uh, we already have some.
- I mean, um...
Weren't you the one that farted
in fifth period?
No. That was, uh,
that was...
What's up guys?
Yeah, uh, my friends
are calling--
my friends are calling me.
So uh,
I'll see you guys later.
Goddammit, guys.
...A little bit louder.
We are number one!
We are the Vikings, two!
We still can't hear you, three!
A little bit louder.
We are number one!
We going up or what?
We gonna stay?
- Nah.
- Come on.
Let's just kick it here.
- What team are we?
- Vikings!
- What team are we?
- Vikings!
- What team are we?
- Vikings!
We got this, baby!
Let's go, let's get it!
Let's go!
Vikings! Vikings! Vikings!
Vikings! Vikings!
That's right!
Let's go! Let's get 'em!
League Champs!
You did it, dude!
You did it, dude!
All right everyone,
get in the giant banana.
Hi-5, Coach!
You're doing good.
Good job.
So wassup, Coach,
you going trick or treating or what?
Yeah, yeah,
with your mom.
- What are you going as?
- A gorilla.
Oh, so you don't
even have to dress up.
Okay, looks like
you guys are ready to go.
Take 'em to Tijuana,
por favor.
Thank you Ms. Swanson,
thank you.
Thank you Ms. Swanson,
thank you...
And you're leaving.
And you're leaving...
Hey, that's the ghettoest
Spider-Man costume ever, bro!
Yeah, it's the "paisa" edition.
Ay, screw you guys.
- My mom made it.
- Hey,
we're gonna go check out that party A.J.
told us about.
Yeah, and if not, we can always go T.P.
some houses.
T.P. some house
or watch girls
in calzones...
Hah, I'm taking combo
numero dos.
I'm feeling lucky tonight.
- What's going on?
- He's lost it man, bro.
I can't believe
that asshole cut him.
I know. That's fucked up, dawg.
Football's his life.
Coach Klingerman said he was
wasting space on his team.
How long
has he been up there?
- I don't know,
- like half an hour. Shit...
He won't come down, dawg.
Monkey boy,
how'd you climb up there?
It's, uh,
pretty nice up here.
Watch out,
you don't wanna fall.
Hey, what do you say we go
and egg Klingerman's house.
Honestly, who likes playing
for that douchebag anyways,
I did.
Listen Jimmy,
you know you're my hero?
I've always admired you.
Yeah, right.
I suck at football.
There's so many people
in this world
who go unnoticed,
'cause they're
not looking for fame
or medals.
They just do what
they gotta do,
and they do it for others,
like you.
You know,
when I busted my hand,
I felt sorry for myself.
But you never complain
when you're getting
hammered out there.
You get back up.
You, see the guys over there?
They're here
'cause you're a hero
to them, too.
They will always be
your team, Jimmy.
And I'll always
have your back.
Now what do you say,
we get outta here,
and hang out like we used to.
Let's go.
So what do you think?
Should we go in?
Yeah, why not?
Let's check it out.
For sure, let's go.
Chug! Chug! Chug...
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug!
Got it!
Go Jesus!
- Shots!
- Shots!
Okay, who let
the high school kids in?
Wait wait, wait, okay,
maybe we can let some of them in.
Hey, are you Spider Man,
I think.
- Are those botas?
- Yup!
No way!
Ay, check this out,
six legs on his spider!
- Wait, how many do they have?
- Uh...
Screw you guys, man.
Ha ha ha ha!
No way.
Hey Playboy,
grab me that bottle of wine,
will ya?
So, how do you know
what you're making?
Experience, my boy.
It looks like
you're just adding anything.
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no. No!
Well, yeah...
maybe, yeah.
Uh, but there's
precision behind it.
Jungle juice
has to be very sweet,
but yet very strong.
Ladies love it.
Hey, what's up?
Jungle Jesus Juice
for the lady?
Here you are.
Let me rinse that off
for you.
That's how it's fuckin' done.
Guys, I hate to be
the responsible one here,
but how long should we stay?
Don't we got
that race tomorrow?
Is that supposed to be cute?
Oh snap.
What is up,
Rosie, fellas...
Come on over.
Party's going this way.
I wanna do it.
We can, we can-- car...
Just let me go
to the restroom first.
You know who's here, right?
- Wassup, who's here?
- Uh, Karina.
- Where? Here?
- Yeah, it's your chance,
before Homecoming.
We have time.
My children!
Gather around!
We have a birthday
girl in the house.
And in the house
of thy Lord...
- Mm.
- Uh-huh.
- we celebrate birthdays...
- Mm.
...with lap dances!
So I want you all
to show her
a sexy good time!
- Who's gonna be first?
- Spidey man.
Spidey man?
I... am... so... horny.
Wait a minute.
We should go in there,
'cause it's gonna get real hot.
Jesus H. Christ, man.
Come on guys,
you can do better than that.
You're making me look bad.
Next dancer!
Next dancer.
Ut oh. Ut oh. Ut oh.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Come on guys,
you're making me look bad.
Don't make me come out
by of retirement.
Anyone else?
Bro, come on.
You got what it takes,
young buck?
You got some sexy moves
for the lady?
Hi, Karina.
Son of a bitch.
What the heck's
going on here?
Let's get your high school
drama outta here.
- Let's, go, man!
- Ay, this is bullshit, man!
That freak stole my girl.
Hey, so the kid stole your
really hot girlfriend.
That happens.
I am not his girlfriend.
And who do you guys
think you are?
We're the football team, baby.
Cool, the football players.
It all makes sense now.
Hold on, hold on.
Bundy. Yo Bundy.
- Bundy!
- Bundy!
- Bundy! Bundy!
- Yeah, Bundy!
Yeah, Bundy!
Look Bundy,
it's your friends?
Four touchdowns in one game.
We got the real Al Bundy here.
You trying to fuck
with these guys right here?
You know,
I'd be nice to them,
you might work for them one day.
All right, that's enough.
let's just go back inside.
Let's have a good time.
- All right?
- Who's this?
The captain
of the football team?
- Yes sir, captain.
- Freakin' captain.
You guys do know that after high
school, football's done.
- It's over.
- You know what?
They still got
the annual Turkey Bowls, dude.
Dude, I get it.
I get it.
You guys used to be nerds.
Now you're all grown up,
you can talk to girls.
And you guys, what...
probably played JV Tennis?
Bro, we should all just go.
A.J, A.J, A.J.
A.J, you're not going with
them, are you?
- Uh...
- We got a race tomorrow.
And we're actually
going somewhere,
not like your
sad football team.
Easy, Rosie.
We got a chance, right fellas?
You think you're the shit
just 'cause you can run?
No, we actually got futures,
and all you know
is football and partying.
Well, enjoy it,
'cause it's gonna be
the only highlight
of your sad life.
Chill out, Rosie. Remember when no
one gave a damn about cross country?
So what?
I gotta thank you?
No, but I gave you a chance,
so did everyone else.
We don't care
what others think.
You think
we needed their love,
'cause we sure as hell
didn't need yours.
Is that so?
All right, let's go.
what the hell just happened?
Holy shit.
We're just about
ready to start our next race.
It'll be Boys Division I
Sectional Finals.
All teams, you must have checked
in with the clerk of the course.
Coach! Coach!
Sorry I'm late, Coach!
I'm here.
I'm ready to go!
- What do you think you're doing?
- I'm here for the race.
- I made it.
- Are you kidding me? You're not racing.
- What?
- The race starts in five minutes.
- You're not even ready.
- I'm warm.
I warmed up
from the parking lot,
I'm ready to go.
I got this, man--
You're not racing, okay?
Come on, Ralphie!
Top five teams in this race
will qualify for next week's
State Championships in Fresno.
- We're in first place!
- We made it!
- Yes!
- First place!
But did you see us though?
- Hey!
- Yeah!
Can you guys just
tear this thing down.
- Oh shit!
- Hey!
Tear it down, and let's get
out of here like everyone else.
I don't wanna be
the last one here.
All I'm saying is they better
have a pep rally for us though.
Yo, you think we'll make
the local Tribune?
Hell yeah.
You know why?
'Cause we got style.
Those Orange Coast guys
ain't got nothin' on us.
They can't touch us,
a bunch of lame fools.
That's enough!
Those "lame fools"
kicked our butts today,
along with
three other teams,
and they're
gonna do the same
when we show up to State Meet
and get last.
We're nobodies.
You guys are talking
like we're champions.
We're not champions,
and the way things are looking
we're not even close.
We didn't have our best
performance out there today.
And I know you guys
went out last night.
your legs looked weak
out there today.
you weren't even focused,
and don't even get me
started on A.J,
don't even think
that I can't smell the alcohol
on your breath.
I should...
you know what?
Don't even come to practice
on Monday!
You screwed up big time!
Everyone else,
I don't wanna hear a peep
on the bus ride home!
Hey, how you doing, son?
Would you mind if we, uh,
talk for a minute?
Sure, yeah.
Let's go.
I'm not even healed yet.
Doctor said it's gonna be
- another month or two--
- Ah, don't listen to them.
Doctors get paid
to play it safe.
Look, son,
I just wanna see
this season end right.
You know what I mean?
Back with your friends that,
who knows,
might be playing their
last football game.
You see that wall?
I wanna see you up there.
You belong up there.
Remembered as one of the best.
We can do this.
Or, just as easily...
we can make it vanish.
Gone, forgotten,
like all the other nobodies
who come through here.
It's up to you.
I gotta go, Coach.
Okay, it's good talking
to you, A.J.
Do the right thing
for your team.
And your Fall 2016
Homecoming King is...
A.J. Montoya!
Uh, A.J. Montoya?
Are you here?
- Ay, go Jimmy.
- Come on, Jimmy.
- Just go on, man.
- Just go, Jimmy.
Go, go, go.
What's up, Menlo!
Easy 50 bucks, right?
That's how we do.
I trip out on these things.
We got all these youngsters
right here with their
high school crushes, man,
trying to impress everybody.
You know for me,
I'm just sayin',
and I'm just
putting it out there.
It took my kid
to get me straight.
That's what it's all about.
But uh,
who woulda thought.
I mean,
look at us now, right?
You know what
I like about you, Menlo?
Is you're still the same dude.
Yeah, you're still
the same guy.
Menlo, I gotta go man,
but you stay straight.
Oh hey.
Those kids out there
are having a blast.
I don't remember my school
dances being this fun.
Nah, our school dances
consisted of dry humping.
You came to school here,
That right there's, uh,
my senior trophy.
Wow, you guys
were good then.
Actually, that's, uh,
that's just
a runner-up trophy.
You're still running
though, right?
yeah, sometimes.
It takes a lot of
commitment to be a coach...
even teaching.
Sometimes I just don't know
how to connect
to some of the students.
I don't know if it's something
that I'm doing wrong,
or maybe
I should just focus
on the ones
who want to learn--
Don't do that.
Fight for the ones
who need it.
They think
they know everything,
but they don't know
any better.
They can even graduate,
become adults,
and still not know
any better.
Those will have to learn
the hard way.
I just hope I can leave
an impression on them.
Oh, I...
Yeah, they're gonna say,
"Miss Rios changed my life...
and she was smoking hot!"
Oh my God.
Hey, do you ever think about
going back and becoming a teacher.
I-I don't know.
I-I-I feel like,
I'm too old,
it's, I mean, too late...
it's never too late
to do what makes you happy.
Those kids love you,
I can tell.
Think about it.
Come on.
Let's go, come on.
- Come on, you got it.
- No, I don't want to.
- You're so close.
- No, no, no, no.
Thank you for the ride.
What's up guys?
Wassup fool?
- Hell, yeah.
I guess that's everyone.
Our top seven,
no band, no cheerleaders...
just pure running.
- Shotgun.
- No, wait.
Simon, grab my shit.
Really Chad, really?
That wasn't necessary, man.
All right guys,
eat up, eat up, eat up.
Good stuff, good stuff.
Glad you joined us, son.
I didn't wanna have to
turn into a bad guy.
Feels good to do
the right thing, Coach.
Sure does, doesn't it?
Holy crap,
check this out.
- I call dibs on this bed.
- I call dibs on this bed.
I'm definitely not
sleeping next to Julio now.
Let's hear it for the home team,
your South Pine eagles.
It's been an impressive year
so far with only the one loss.
And the Monte Valley Vikings
are on the field now.
With returning quarterback,
A.J. Montoya?
You think he's gonna make
a difference?
You know, this is first
game back from injury,
so we'll see if he can pick up
where he left off last season.
Here we go!
Looks like they're going with A.J.
Montoya right from the get-go.
Are you kidding me?
A complete overthrow
by Montoya.
- What the hell was that?
- An incomplete pass by Montoya.
Commentator #2" You think
Klingerman jumped the gun
- by starting him too early?
- He's not happy down there.
Let's see
what they're gonna do.
Ramirez, warm up.
All right, Montoya,
I believe in you, buddy.
Let's go.
Third and 13.
There it is...
a 20-yard completion.
A late hit by the Eagles.
Montoya looks like he's hurt.
Flag on the field.
Unnecessary roughness
number 54...
an automatic first down.
What happened?
Who the fu--
Jim, what's going on
down there?
Those little motherfuckers.
We're supposed to be
up early in the morning...
What's that smell?
Eat this.
Hey, Coach.
Is it all right
if I talk to the team?
I don't know...
Come on.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm sorry it took me
this long to realize
such a great team I had.
I let myself down,
but most importantly
I let you guys down.
Dude, stop.
I'm sorry.
we're really glad
to have you here.
As long as you don't mind
sleeping on the floor.
- Shh!
- Dude...
I could have sworn,
Rosie was gonna say,
"You had me at hello."
Shut up, man.
Looks like you have an
hour before you go warm up.
Restrooms are over there,
I'm gonna go pick up our packet.
Don't wander off too far.
Shouldn't you give us a speech?
What do you mean?
You guys know what to do.
Yeah, but it's State.
Shouldn't we have a plan
or something?
This is my first time
at State Meet, too.
You really think
we can win today, Coach?
Pfst! Yeah, heck yeah,
we got a shot.
Let's just go out there
and do what we always do.
I think, uh...
I think uh...
You know what?
That's not true.
- What if we all PR?
- Yeah
I mean,
you gotta all PR by a lot.
That first mile
is gonna be blazing.
If we want a shot,
we gotta be there from the beginning.
What about pacing ourselves?
Yeah, I mean,
we can die if we go out too fast.
Yeah, true,
we can even lose
our chance at placing.
But if we relax
and lose that lead pack...
we'll never catch 'em.
You know,
gambling isn't for everybody,
losing hurts.
God only knows I've
had my share of loses,
mostly my fault.
But then there are instances
when things
just fall in place.
I've wasted
too much time waiting
for things
to fall into place for me.
You guys are my best bet.
And yes.
Miracles are possible,
but we gotta go out there
and make those miracles
happen ourselves.
Whatever happens,
we can take it.
We die out,
we pass out at the finish,
we can take it.
because we're not alone.
We've got a team
who's willing to take
those risks with us.
We're gonna do it...
Hell yeah, D-I-T, baby!
Yeah, get it!
have I got something
for you, man.
Take a look at the bag.
what the he'll are these?
- New jerseys?
- Yes, well no...
- They're vintage.
- They're sick.
- They're old.
- Uniforms from my days of glory.
I never won championships
with 'em.
- It just says "Monte."
- What?
- You like 'em?
- Yeah Coach, thanks.
Hell yeah.
We're Monte.
Okay, it's now time
for the Boys
Division 1 Championship Race.
Orange Coast
looking to defend its title
against stand out teams,
Central Oaks, Riverside, North Bay
- and many others.
- Okay, gentlemen,
do me a favor,
take one step back.
There will be two commands,
runners set
and then the gun.
Okay, good luck,
you got this.
Runners set...
Our boys are out very
quickly through that first turn.
You can already see
Orange Coast,
they got
three runners up there
in that top lead group,
We see our boys
starting to come into sight,
and we've got
a bit of a surprise--
Monte Valley
from the southern section.
They've got a
group of runners right up there
in that top group.
Quite a race for them.
This is their first appearance
in the State Meet
since the 70s,
and they are out impressively.
Let's hear it
for the winners
and back-to-back
State champions,
Orange Coast High School.
It's all you guys.
And our Third place finisher
for the California State
is Rosendo Flores.
Oh, I'm so proud of you,
I am so proud.
Coach Menlo,
you guys raced like champs
out there, man.
Thank you.
Maybe we'll get you next you.
Good job, tiger!
Rosie! Rosie! Rosie!