V/H/S: Viral (2014) Movie Script

I love this place.
- Yeah, me too.
- So strange, though.
- Why is it called a river?
- That's, what it is.
- Thank you.
- It's dried up, you know.
I actually used to come here
a lot when I was a kid.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- I used to ride my bike.
- It's our new spot.
What? You're gonna steal
my childhood memories?
No. We'll just make new ones.
- Promise?
- Promise.
- Give me that thing.
- Up-bup-bup! My camera, my show.
Besides, you're prettier than I am.
No fair.
- Don't show my face.
- Shut up.
Don't show my face.
Alright, give me that.
- No.
- I'm serious, little missy.
You mess with the bull,
you get the horns.
Don't cry.
I love it when you record me.
No, really, I do.
It means that you love me.
What colour nail polish is that?
Since when do you care about...?
Goddammit, Kev.
You know when to turn that thing off!
Get out here now.
Thought I told you not to leave
your girlfriend's damn
bike in the damn driveway!
- Little slut!
- Slut?
It's what it is.
But it's right up or
it's out of commission.
Why are you so fascinated
with this thing?
Don't keep me at arm's length, Kev.
I'm much more fun in the flesh.
And that's all you get.
- Let go!
- ...and get a job!
Fuck you, Grandma!
- What the fuck?
- Oh, God!
Breaking news at 10:30...
near downtown Los Angeles,
a police pursuit.
- You see that van there...
- Kev!
- Holy shit. That's...
- Kev.
- That's down the block.
- Aren't you gonna talk about it?
Yeah, let's talk about how
awesome this fucking chase is!
Look at this!
Look. It's just down the street.
Kev, put that thing down
and face what's going on.
What's going on?
It's a crazy-ass chase,
headed right for us.
What do you think's gonna happen?
You think that shit's gonna go viral?
You're gonna become famous?
I got... I have to go shoot this.
It's sick, Kev. Put that thing down.
Come on, babe, this...
This is my chance.
Haven't you ever wanted to be a
part of something bigger than you?
Holy shit! Oh, my God.
It's here, it's here, it's here.
You made me miss it. Fuck!
- Fuck, fuck!
- Kev!
- Oh, my God, it's here.
- Come back!
Shit, shit, shit! It's right here!
Jesus Christ, Grandma!
- You little pervert!
- Move! Move! Shit.
You're gonna make me
fucking miss it. Shit, shit.
Fuck! Fuck! I missed it.
Get back inside! It's not safe
out here. Are you filming me?
I'm on my property, man.
I'm on my own property right now.
Starting to see quite a
few pedestrians now...
...in the age of Twitter and YouTube,
people can track this sort of thing
and try to get in on the action,
get their special shots of
the driver or the action.
This guy is travelling at
such a high rate of speed
through these residential
Definitely don't wanna be out
there making yourself a target.
Thank you, honey. You made me miss it.
Iris, what the hell? I'm sorry.
- Get back inside!
- What the hell?
I'll tase your ass if you don't
get inside right now, goddamn.
Iris, get out of the street.
I told you to get off the
street and turn that thing off!
Holy shit! Oh, my God! Iri... Iris!
Just come in and have a seat.
I'm Detective Hughes.
I'm gonna have to record
this conversation, OK?
- OK.
- Tell me your full name.
My name is Scarlett Kay.
And what is your occupation, Miss Kay?
I'm a magician's assistant
for Dante the Great.
The tape that you brought in to us,
where did you find that tape?
In his dressing-room,
there's a secret compartment
behind the breaker box.
Dante recorded everything.
He always needed an audience.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you so much for coming
out to the show tonight.
The magician known as Dante the Great
was arrested today.
So just two years ago,
Dante the Great was John McMullen,
and he was living in a
trailer park in Atlanta
barely making ends meet,
couldn't pay the rent.
He would do tricks for his
friends in the neighbourhood,
and he was real good at it.
Cut the cards. Alright. Alright.
- Yeah, that's the blue...
- Pretend like you didn't see.
Figured out the trick!
Why don't you make some
beer appear? Be useful.
You suck, bro.
You guys are real funny for a bunch
of unemployed motherfuckers.
Dante came in possession of a cloak.
Nobody's really sure
where he got the cloak.
So the rumours are that
Harry Houdini himself
once owned this cloak.
And it frightened Houdini,
so he got rid of it.
Whoo! Whoo!
Well, there's no doubt that the
cloak changed Dante's life forever.
His shows were completely exclusive.
Passwords, knocking on doors.
You gotta know somebody
to even get a ticket.
That was the most amazing
show I've ever seen.
He picked my pocket.
From mid-balcony, he picked
my pocket, from the stage.
I don't know how he did it.
We went into the show
at 7 o'clock in New York.
- We walk out of the doors...
- We're in L.A.
We're in L.A. I...
I'm kind of fucking pissed,
but I'm kind of like,
this is the most amazing
thing I've ever seen.
His illusions were on a different
level than anyone else.
Today's magic is dead.
You wanna learn a trick,
go Google it, go find it.
It's on Wikipedia.
You will never discover how I do it.
Hewwo, wabbit.
Firefighters arrived on the scene to
see heavy flames on the east side.
Not a lot of wind this afternoon,
so they're hoping to keep this
contained to one structure.
No word of any injuries or anyone inside.
We have an audience tonight,
so why aren't you working?!
What do you want from me?
The cloak's power comes
from what's inside it.
But he had to feed it, and it
was only hungry for one thing.
Dante. Oh, my God.
Turn that off. It's not funny.
Can you hand me a towel?
There were some people that went missing
that were close to Dante.
Some of his assistants.
No bodies, no evidence.
Just gone.
Tell me what was your first impression
of Dante when you met him.
The first time I met him, I was
auditioning for one of his shows,
and I was really nervous...
he was my idol.
Oh, my God!
Scarlett. She's different.
I just knew it was her, and we
were meant to work together,
meant to be great together.
So you always wanted to
be a magician's assistant?
No, I want to be a magician.
I wanted to work with him
because I thought I would get to learn
how to do the tricks and the illusions,
but no-one on the crew
knew how he did anything.
It was frustrating, to say the least.
Let's take five, guys.
I know that this can all be
very confusing to begin with.
It can take a lifetime of practice.
And you're... you're brand-new.
Let's say you and I just
put all this work aside
and tonight, you have dinner with me.
What do you say?
- No, I have... I have a thing.
- Cancel it.
He's picking me up in an hour.
Clay is my ex-boyfriend.
When's the last time you
heard from Clay, Miss Kay?
A month.
How was your relationship with Clay?
Clay... Clay had a temper,
but... it was OK.
We were OK.
You weren't just an
employee of Dante, right?
I mean, you guys had
some kind of relationship?
We became really close,
working together.
How'd you do that?
I'll show you.
We're going to film this one, alright?
That was close.
- We're gonna try it again.
- OK. Alright.
Now, on the count.
Hey! Look at that!
Perfect sleight of hand.
- He was my friend.
- Just friends?
He was more than just my friend.
The tapes that Scarlett
brought in indicated
several violent murders
that incriminated Dante
in the disappearance
of at least two of the
magician assistants
and her ex-boyfriend, Clay Bowland.
Were you aware that Dante
was going to confront Clay?
What a dick.
I'm sorry.
My shows are something that will reveal,
from the darkness, great light.
You will come through doorways that
you didn't even know were there,
see something unbelievable.
But you have to believe it because
it's right there in front of your eyes.
- They're recording here.
- Get down!
- Alright, alright.
- These guys with you?
No! No! No!
I guess that, concludes our interview.
I'm gonna need your badge number.
You have the right to remain silent.
The cloak, when he has
it on, he's different.
I can assure you, it's nothing magical,
nothing supernatural...
it's just a sociopath.
Hold onto your tickets.
It's gonna be a big finale.
What I need right now
from you is the truth.
I can't have any more
stories about magic.
I'm telling you the truth.
I know now that what he does,
they're not illusions.
There. Over there.
It's... magic.
There's no such thing as magic.
What is the first rule?
You never tell the rubes
how the trick is done.
- I saw what you did.
- What do I do with you now?
I know you murdered those women!
It wasn't me.
Not you? What is it? What is that thing?
Real magic.
Get down on the ground! Get down!
Welcome... to the show.
Nothing up my sleeve!
Suspect down.
What the hell?
What are you doing?
Scarlett, stop. Give that to me.
Give me the cloak!
Give it to me!
You made me do this!
Dante, please.
I'm so sorry, my dear.
I'm sorry, my dear.
Scarlett, no! Wait! No!
So where's Dante now?
That's a great question.
I know our entire department
is looking for him.
We have gotten assistance from the FBI.
It's only a matter of time.
I like to think that he's somewhere...
planning his comeback.
We talked. We talked... few months back.
He missed me.
He said he's coming for a visit.
He'll... he'll come. He's coming.
He always does.
He comes home.
Where did the cloak end up?
Nobody knows for sure.
...down through this interchange again
with the LAPD right behind it,
we'll see which way he...
Iris, pick up your fucking phone.
- Kevin. Come here, please.
- Iris. Baby.
Please come, Kev!
I don't know what they're gonna do.
- Please.
- Baby. Don't hang up.
What the fuck?
Hey, what you doing?
You're gonna miss it.
Miss what?
Can you see it?
They're coming this way.
Oh, man.
See it on YouTube, bitches.
Holy shit!
- Look, there's another one.
- Look, there's another guy.
Gotta help me!
They're coming back on the 110 freeway.
He's really picking up some speed.
You little prick!
You're slowing us down!
I don't give a fuck
about your guys' video.
- That thing took my girlfriend.
- Will you fuck off already?
Dude, you don't understand.
It's coming back around.
- Yeah, no shit.
- No, you're not listening to me.
It's going in circles on purpose.
Oh, shit!
No! Oh, my God!
Fuck! It's got me!
Take my arm!
- Grab him!
- I can't get to him!
Grab him!
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
Look at me, dude! Grab my hand!
Oh, yeah!
No, no.
Marta, Marta.
Reports now that there might actually be
a hostage situation, so LAPD is
going in a surveillance mode.
Stupid girls bike.
Fuck. Oh, shit,
it's turning around again.
Fuck, this can't be happening.
How much fucking hot dog
does he want? Go over there.
Fuck the hot dogs.
No, papi. Don't make
fun of your brother.
What's he gonna do about it?
One more strike,
he's back in for five to ten.
Give me a burger before I give
you some matching eye shadow.
This thing has my girlfriend.
Please help me.
You have the cojones to turn me in?
I got your cojones right here!
Who the fuck is that motherfucker?
Lucy, where did you get the camera?
Daddy. He has a trunk full of 'em.
Get rid of it!
You'd bring that to my uncle's house?
Do something, Uncle Alberto!
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Iris. I'm so sorry.
You touch her, I'll kill you!
Erase that.
...chased by... Oh!
Oh, my God. A huge
explosion right below...
Don't make it. Don't make it.
Trip, trip, trip, fall, fall.
Don't make it. Don't make it. Fuck.
- Whoo!
- Son of a fucktard!
- Why are we shooting?
- Did you get that?
No. Oh, that was the one?
Oh, no. Dude, I wasn't rolling.
Yeah, we gotta go again.
- Did you get it?
- What the fuck, man?
Craigslist ad said you could
operate that shitty-ass camera.
You said your skating didn't suck dick.
You guys are not allowed to be up here.
- Go back to your house.
- Hey, you got that shit!
Hey, you've got that shit.
Oh-ho! Oh, that was so trill!
Oh... just the focus, it was bad.
So, one more.
Get the fuck out of here.
Three, two, one, action.
We all good?
All clear, big dog.
- Did you get that?
- Sorry, dude.
The battery just, like, fell out.
- We gotta go again.
- What are we paying you for?
If you fucked up my car,
I'm calling the cops.
Dude, fuck you.
Get back in your car.
Merry Christmas, dicks. Put 'em on.
- Oh, fuck that.
- Those are stupid.
Jump into it, and then do a Shamu dive.
And I'm gonna get a shot with this.
When you gonna help me out with a ride?
I got a nice vagina
just waiting for you.
- Yeah, right.
- I got the vag on deck all day.
I got vagina all day.
Do it, little homie.
Oh, man. Are you OK, dude? My bad.
Semper fi, cockbag dick hole!
I'm just directing a Web series
right now about abused dolphins,
and then I freelance as a bartender.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! I'm coming.
Keep fighting, keep fighting.
Keep punching.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Can't believe we got kicked
out for that shit, dude.
- I woulda shot those dudes.
- Yeah, right.
If it was life or death,
you would have left me chillin'.
- You would have bailed.
- Not even.
Excuse me. Do you have a dollar?
Nah. Take this, though, dude.
I bit the end, but...
I spent all my money on this
fucking filmer guy over here.
I got a stogy left if you want it.
You need a light? Oh, yeah. No problem.
- Fight the hobo! Bum fight!
- Dude, dude, are you serious?
I go to sleep fucked up, not knowing
I peed in a bottle right next to me.
I wake up in the morning, like,
fuck, I need water, you know.
Bro, I grabbed the bottle and
just gulp, gulp, and then...
But it still tasted like beer, though.
There's this one time I went and
saw this old '80s hardcore band.
People were front-flipping and shit.
- All of a sudden, I look over...
- Front-flipping?
- People were front-flipping?
- Front-flipping into the crowd.
See, I told you, people can front-flip.
Dude, shut the fuck...
I look over and my homeboy's,
like, throwing kids,
like, just throwing 'em
into the wall and shit.
Little kids?
Throwing little kids into the wall?
No. No, dude. They're, like, 20. Boom!
The fat guy's homie, or should I say...
Was he bleeding?
I'm gonna fucking pistol-whip
the shit out of you if you...
Yo, don't touch my shit.
Dude, we need a new fucking
spot to finish this video.
My cousin told me about
this ditch in Tijuana.
He said it's always empty,
totally secret.
- You got gas money?
- I'm not paying.
Hey, hey! Sam! Hey, Sam!
- Dude, it's Shaun.
- Whatever the fuck. Come here.
When are we gonna finish my skate video?
It's done. Hey, do you still
have your dad's credit card?
Dude, we cannot go to TJ.
You know that fool
Carlos in third period?
The cartel stuffed his
uncle in a barrel of acid.
Dude, let's go.
You can go and fuck up
the filming some more.
Tijuana is fine now.
The drug dealers all left.
They got... they got firecrackers,
they got weed,
they don't card for alcohol.
Yeah, get a bunch.
Get the big ones, the big ones.
- Test 'em.
- They only have three.
Make sure they're not a dud. Test 'em.
- Nah, we'll...
- There you go. There you go.
Thanks for the ride. This is a
very serious piece of equipment.
- You have sex, keep it on.
- Alright, cool. I will.
This kid throws $20 for gas and
he gets the fucking titty cam?
No, that goes for both of you.
If you have sex, keep your cameras on.
Oh, damn!
You want a swig of this?
Tell your sister to go home.
She's got syphil-herp.
But the fact is,
'Faces of Death' and 'Jackass',
they sell more than every
skateboard video combined.
Yo, dude, you know...
- You know where the fuck we are?
- I do not! I have been lost for hours.
These come-bags are boring.
Is that a fucking earthquake?
I just survived a Mexican earthquake.
Hey, how often do you guys
clean your skateboard wheels?
This wasn't what I was thinking of,
but you can skate this, yeah?
Yeah, but it smells like your mom.
Do you all know how to climb fences?
Jason, did you turn on your camera?
Turn on these whack-ass titty cams.
- Guys, turn on your cameras!
- Shut up.
Turn on your camera.
It's been... Fuck off.
Pour some for the homies, Gas Money.
Hey, guys...
Hey, dickhead, you think a skinned
kitten would still get views?
Oh, got a missed call.
You gonna start filming or what?
Remember that one time
you did a shitty kick-flip
and got more views than porn?
There's a bunch of dog shit
in the middle of it.
Dude, this place is weird.
I ain't going back, though.
We just walked three hours.
Something funky worth showing people.
No-one wants to see you guys
go backward and forward
for four fucking hours.
- Wait. Go on the barrel.
- The barrel?
- Go on top and do a front flip.
- A front flip?
Don't come off that barrel
until you do a front flip.
This goes out to your momma.
You be in the front right there.
That was the shittiest front flip...
That fucking camera guy is weird, dude.
I know, and he's got this
weird-ass look on his face
like he wants to touch me.
And Gas Money Kid just
sits there and stares.
Want to be immortal, or do you
want to be a giant vagina monster?
I will front-kick your asshole.
Some chick, she was all
fucked up at the park.
You know the bleachers,
how there's, like, gaps between?
She fell between 'em, like,
the top one. Like, "Boom, boom!"
- Terrible.
- Yeah, real fucking sad.
- Don't blow off your dick hand.
- At least your mom got two dick hands!
Oh, fuck! Fuck!
Dude, dude, is that bleeding?
What the fuck? Hot as my balls.
What the fuck?
Where did she come from?
Is she a ninja? Are you a ninja?!
Dude, your sister followed us here.
- What's wrong with her?
- Hey, I'm just kidding.
Hey. My name's Taylor. But...
No, seriously, though, I'm a director.
Want me to throw you in some movies?
We could do that.
Hey, video guy,
your dad's a good singer.
Dude, let's bounce.
Oh, shit! What the fuck?
- Oh, what the fuck, dude?
- Shit! Shit! Shit!
Hey, I'm gonna shoot one of
these motherfuckers, dog.
Oh, shit.
Get that fool, Gas Money, dog!
Get the fuck off him!
Come on, Gas Money. Crack him!
Get off that kid!
- Do what you gotta do, man!
- What am I doing, man?
- Where are you going?
- I don't know, man.
Dude, back up.
Dude, don't... Get...
Oh, my fucking God.
- Do crackheads have fire blood?
- Yeah, definitely.
I'll go to the Mexican hospital.
I don't give a fuck.
- Shit. There's more.
- But they go down easy!
- They're falling apart!
- They got a disease.
- Dude, use your gun.
- What the fuck?
I only got one more bullet, dog!
Where the fuck is Gas Money Kid going?
Oh, shit! Hey, dog.
I think they killed Gas Money Kid.
Don't talk. Just fight!
Find a weapon, find a weapon,
find a weapon.
Deck-check that fool!
Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Little fucking bitch! Bitch!
He's dead, motherfucker! Help me!
There's more of them!
Dude, they're everywhere!
What are you doing?
Oh, what the fuck?
Help, dog! Help!
What the...
What's up, motherfucker?
Oh, fuck that! Vmonos!
13, motherfucker!
- Fuck, man, you all good?
- You were kind of crazy.
Hey, we killed a lot of fools.
Killed a lot of fools.
Let's get the fuck out of here, psycho.
Motherfucker, they killed Gas
Money Kid and Camera Guy, man!
What the fuck you supposed to...
Oh, shit.
Go under, dog. Go under!
- Hold 'em off for me, dog!
- Help me, you fucking psycho!
What are you doing?
Just give me a second, fool.
Run! Get the fuck out of here!
Come on, motherfucker! Let's go!
We're not dead, motherfucker!
Don't stop till the border!
Hey, dog, I'm still rolling!
Me too! Let's go!
Do you feel as bad as I do about
Gas Money Kid and Camera Guy?
Yeah. Come on, dude!
Hey, hold up, hold up!
Something's slowing me down.
Dude, are you fucking serious? Let's go!
Police are warning it's a
very dangerous situation
they are struggling to stay ahead of.
There are now reports of 11 fires
burning out of control across the city.
People should absolutely
be staying inside.
Do not...
Stop the fucking car! Please stop!
Trust me, baby.
What the fuck?
I need your help! I need your help!
- You fuck!
- Get out of the car!
You keep going. Don't worry about that.
What are you doing?!
Keep going. We could edit that out.
Alright. And just
ignore the guy driving.
Just forget...
Don't even think about him.
Trust me, baby, I'm a pro at this.
Yeah, right there.
Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.
That's it. Take it slow, slow.
Slow gets 'em.
Slow is what sucks 'em in.
Aren't you gonna join me?
I only like to watch, baby.
Make sure you're in focus.
Yeah. They know they can't touch you,
and it gets 'em even more.
- That's it, slow.
- You don't recognise me, do you?
I do this eight days a week, baby.
I might have seen... I don't know.
I don't know why,
but I don't know how to...
Now do you recognise me?
What? What the f...
- Turn around, you...
- Sorry!
- Fuck with my rhythm!
- Sorry.
One more. OK. Now keep going.
Keep going. We could edit that out.
That's it. Don't worry about anything.
We're in our own little sanctuary.
Yes, yes. Drowned in slow.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're good.
You're very... I knew you were hot.
- Yeah? You like...
- Don't... don't talk.
It's better if you don't talk.
- Just show me.
- OK.
That's it. Very good. Nice and slow.
That's it, touch yourself.
Rub it. Attagirl. Yeah.
- Camera. Now!
- What the fuck?!
Don't shoot my face! Don't shoot my face!
Who cares about your face, asshole?
Let's see that pretty body of yours.
- Go ahead, strip.
- Fuck you, bitch!
Do it. Do it now.
How does it feel, huh?
Wow. You're the whole package.
I can't wait to introduce you to my mom.
Fuck this shit.
Hundred bucks or no hundred bucks!
Keep driving.
Maybe I'll make your retarded
friend strip next, huh?
A little threesome?
What a turn-on you are, yeah.
- So good, baby.
- Wait a second. I know you.
Yeah. Millions of guys do,
thanks to your website.
It was your ex-boyfriend.
You shouldn't have dumped him, lady.
I didn't film you. All I did was
buy the footage for my blog!
I got a blog.
It's called nutlesswonders.com.
Oh, don't! Please, don't!
Lesson learned!
Loud and fucking clear, man!
- I'll take it down. I promise!
- My tits made you money.
So now I'm here for my cut.
Here's the good part.
I bet people will pay to watch
me shoot your dick off.
Want to see whose video gets more hits?
Let's make a hole in you
and show the world.
Oh, yeah, bitch?!
Come on, let's see that star now,
get this thing to turn out like I told you.
You want to do it now, bitch?
Stick it out or I'll fucking turn it purple.
Yeah, who's got you now, you smart-ass?
Hey, you want a cut?
Something's going on.
This is absolutely insane.
Are you sending out...
Help me! Kevin!
Why are you so fascinated
with this thing?
Don't keep me at arm's length, Kev.
I'm serious, little missy.
- You mess with the bull...
- Don't cry.
Yeah? It's our new spot.
What? You're gonna steal
my childhood memories?
No. We'll just make new ones.
- Promise?
- Promise.
- Kev?
- Iris?
You're filming it, aren't you?
That's so good, baby.
That means we'll be a part of it.
A part of what?
We're gonna finish it.
What are you talking about?
I think you know.
Oh, my God.
It's been filming us the whole time.
What the fuck?!
You're sick, Kev.
- We're all sick.
- Oh, my God.
What did I do? Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
Iris, where are you?
Iris, tell me you're OK.
Just start the upload.
I ca... I can't.
Haven't you ever wanted to be a
part of something bigger than you?
You don't know what's
happening out there.
These videos, they...
they fuck people up.
Do it.
Do it.
I...I can't. I can't do it.
- Do it.
- I can't. I can't do it.
Haven't you ever wanted to be a
part of something bigger than you?
You don't understand what's happening.
- Jesus Christ!
- Do it!
Fuck, fuck! Stop! Wait, wait, OK.
Stop, stop. I'll do it.
Gonna go viral.
This shit's gonna go viral.
This shit's gonna go viral.
This shit's gonna go viral.
- This shit's gonna go viral.
- Oh, fuck. What did I do?
What the fuck? What have I done? No.
- This shit's gonna go viral.
- What is going...
This shit's gonna go viral.
Jesus Christ! Stop, stop!
- Stop it!
- Gonna go viral!
This shit's gonna go viral!
This shit's gonna go viral!
Gonna go viral!