#Vymara (2026) Movie Script
A... B... C... D... E...
F... G... H... I... J... K...
I'm an opium
cure
sick
body
box
man
in...
A... B... C... D... E...
F... G... H... I... J... K...
A... B... C... D... E...
F... G... H... I... J... K...
I mean, bend me over and show me
the 50 states. That was fing nuts.
I mean, as crazy as it was, it was
almost the final piece of the puzzle.
It's all really starting to make sense now.
First, let me start off by explaining this to you
guys, because most of you might not know this,
but the Alphabet Song was actually copy written in 1835 by
Charles Bradley, an infamous soul local to the Boston area.
Now, it's important to realize that this is during the
time when numerous secret societies are running rampant.
I mean, you've got the Independent Order of Recobites,
you have the Freemasons, the Illuminati, of course.
And it's also important to note that this is taking place right before
one of the more significant moments in the United States' history,
the California Gold Rush, right?
So, if you can see what I'm getting at here, when you have two ginormous
and fiscally significant assets like gold and the Alphabet Song,
it's more than reasonable to believe that Charles, along with his
other fraternity members, when they weren't dealing with each other,
they were most likely trying to accommodate as many
assets and commodities as they can from either coast
before then pressing and conquering inwards via
the railroad system that, don't forget, they owned,
taking over everything in their path in order to put a monopoly on
all the commodities and assets that the United States has to offer
before taking over the
goddamn country itself.
I mean, and with all that in mind, we turn back
to the video, and in my ever-so-humble opinion,
how to assume that there's some sort of
code or hidden message embedded beneath it?
I don't know. I believe we've just stumbled
across something from the original Deep State,
something sinister provided by, let's see
here, Mr. Toes Liquor, 06, Mr. Toes Liquor.
Thank you for your submission. It's clear
you were out there doing the Lord's work,
pulling back the curtain in this fed-up facade
of a world that we're supposed to just accept.
I applaud you.
So I'm going to dish it out to you guys, the
fans. Let me know in the comments what you think.
We're going to take a brief moment, a brief break,
and hear from our sponsor. Who's our sponsor today?
Not a clue.
Not a clue. Okay, whatever. We're going to figure out who
that is, and we thank them for their support as always.
When you guys tune back in, we're going to be hearing from
Ava Lauren, host of the Bloody Truth True Crime podcast,
so be sure to tune back in.
My name is Ava Lauren, and I'm the host
of the Bloody Truth True Crime podcast.
So be sure to tune back in.
Until then, feel free to join our
Facts Social community, link in bio.
Like, subscribe, comment, go take a piss, do
whatever you've got to do during the time being,
and we will be right back.
Boom.
Oh my God, dude. What the f?
How long do you typically stream for?
I was almost done. Thank you very much.
Also, all that stuff at the end, don't
you think that's a bit of a stretch, man?
Come on, brother. We've always
been in a spiritual war, man.
Come on, brother. We've always
been in a spiritual war, man.
When you get a little older,
you're going to understand.
Yeah, well, whatever. I thought you were
going to be done like an hour ago, dude.
Are you yawning?
I'm pressing the red
button. Come on, grow up.
Look, when I'm rolling, I'm rolling with it.
You feel me? I'm getting that flow state.
My audience, yeah,
they get off to that shit.
Oh, yeah, man. No, I'm
sure like all two of them love it.
This guy, okay. Yeah, I'll be, you know, Sigma
Mind actually sold out in the first 543 hours.
Oh, no, actually, I heard about this. Those
were the pills with the dog hair in them, right?
This guy's got jokes.
Yeah, yeah, no, wolf hair.
Actually, yeah, yeah, Alpsman, Razor
T, keep their pecker up in the bedroom.
So if you've been getting a little
nervous, you just let me know.
Let me know.
Oh, no, no, trust me.
My T is big.
For sure.
My T is...
It's fine.
Yeah, man, look, I saw that little recent
live stream comedy show.
You saw it?
Yeah.
Oh, dude, yeah, it's sick, right?
Well, I mean, the
execution's a little sloppy,
but that bit, that's a good bit, right?
Yeah.
So, like, you know, the next time I do it,
like, dude, the sky's the fing limit.
No, for sure, brother.
One note, if I may.
Next time you take the camera,
you point it at the stage
where the act is happening
instead of the amphitheater
with all the empty seats.
Well, I had an unpaid intern,
so he's not really focused.
Look, man, I'm just fing with you, bro.
Look, all I'm saying,
there's a reason you're here, too, buddy.
And hey, I'm just yanking
your chain, too, buddy.
What are you doing?
Oh, dude, you're so fing tense, man.
That's why you're so...
Get your soft-ass hands off me, bro.
West Hollywood's that way, f.
Dude, okay, relax, man.
Look, I'm just trying to get
you in a comfortable state
to receive some creative energy here.
I got this awesome video idea, right?
You know those Day
in the Life videos, right?
Okay, we would do one,
except I'd be you for the day.
Like, the whole deal, right?
You'd be me.
We'll swap clothes, I'll
do your accent, really.
I don't have an accent.
You kind of got like a, it doesn't matter.
Look, whatever, Cara's
already down to film it.
Dude, it would be dope, right?
Because I've been
working on character work,
and adding someone like you to my show,
like, it'd fing crush, man.
It'd be so cool.
Ah, you see, I got it.
So you're saying you want to
mock me on stage, for sure?
No, I didn't say that.
That's not what I said.
It's like, it's in the
name of comedy, dude.
It's like all in good fun, right?
Yeah, good fun, for sure.
Tell you what, I'll think about it, pal.
Okay, well, here, you
don't need to think about it,
because I actually brought
some costume pieces,
help you get into the mindset.
We got an overnight bag?
What is this?
Boom.
Cara's brand, the Winter Collection.
Hence all the snowflakes.
Oh, no, I got that.
She made the shirt, dude.
She's so fing talented.
She's like a little Warhol.
Look, look what she just did right here.
She just doodled this.
Shit, man, you're early.
What the f, man?
I'm in the middle of the pitch.
It's like so fing unprofessional.
Yeah, come on.
Wow, you got a nice place here.
I know.
I mean, I could see the Hollywood sign
from your front porch.
Yeah, it running every Sunday.
Look, you watch the video?
No, we agreed to do live reactions.
Okay, good.
I didn't watch it either,
but I thought you might
have and broken our deal,
but it sounds like we're
on the same page, so.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Didn't know we had a live audience.
Oh, I'm not, I'm Reed.
I'm a performer, comic, improviser.
Also an actor.
And I can also play a straight man.
I can do a lot.
And I can age up and down in the scene.
Versatile, so.
Cool.
This is my girlfriend, Kara.
She's super talented also, like fashion.
She just drew this.
I was trying to show
him, like, that's off the cuff.
Okay, whatever.
Yeah, it's great to meet you guys.
Yeah, yeah, it's great, yeah.
Well, I actually, I already
feel like I know you.
I've seen a few clips of your podcast.
Nice.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you ever get tired of talking
about all that depressing shit?
Murder this, murder
that, murdering my vibe.
Yeah, it's depressing,
but, you know, it's real.
Oh, I, yeah.
You know, we live in a
dark, carnivorous world
where terrible things happen.
And it's not because of inter
dimensional alien beings,
but, you know, it's because of us.
And it's not until we
talk about those things
that we can learn from
history and hopefully, you know,
see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Correct.
I agree.
I second that.
Look, look, Gandhi, let's save the activism
for the stream, okay?
Can we get into this, guys?
Please.
Get this shit over with.
Finally.
Chat, I would now like
to welcome Ava Lauren,
host of the Bloody Truth podcast,
a true crime pod with a
unique focus on cold cases.
Is that right?
That is correct.
Lovely.
How you doing, Ava?
I'm doing pretty well, thank you.
Awesome, great.
Besides that, would you
categorize your podcast
as a left-leaning commentary
that weaponizes these
tragedies you talk about
as an excuse to push your
fear-mongering agenda?
As a liberal mouthpiece, of course.
You know, I focus on cold cases
because I want to see
if there's any information
that has been left out
by previous investigators
or that has emerged in recent years.
In terms of what I was saying?
No, I would not categorize
myself as fear-mongering
or a liberal mouthpiece.
I believe that there are families out there
who've lost loved ones
who have hope for justice.
I'm helping these families find closure.
Okay, very righteous, yeah.
Ava and I recently disagreed
on the disappearance
of a Rebecca Mark who went missing
outside of a bar in New Hampshire.
We all heard the distress call.
You know, she mentioned a large being
with an abnormally shaped head chasing her
and she also mentioned
right before the call cut out
that there was a bright light
appearing behind the figure.
Witnesses that night stated
that she was asking around for.
Ketamine, which in a high enough dosage can
create pretty incredible hallucinations.
Interesting. Really, how do you know
about this? Actually, you know what? Let me
rephrase that question. Do you take part
in illicit drug activity? I'm not afraid
to admit that I had a phase in high
school. Oh, okay. So you are on record
admitting your judgment might be impaired. Just so you guys know, the sort of things like
Ketamine tend to stick around in your system for a number of years after you take it.
Her bones were found not even months after the kidnap. Okay, never confirmed
to be her bones. The burial site wasn't even miles away from the bar.
Look, we can draw conclusions off of bullshit or we
can actually look at the facts. I can point to the
mysterious disappearances of the 50s as very
similar situations. Very large beings, check.
Abnormally shaped heads, check. Bright light
appearing behind the kidnap pee, check. I mean,
what more do you need to hear? Look, I found that
witness myself. Okay, how? I went through every photo
that was posted in the bar that night to find
witnesses and talk to them. He was too afraid
to admit to the police about the illicit drug
activity. Her family knew she wasn't stupid enough
to just walk off the highway to her death. They thanked me.
She was stupid enough to just rip Kay all night, apparently.
They thanked me for connecting her death to the
string of murders that were happening around that
time. They could finally have closure. God, you are a
hero. Or maybe you extended some man's prison time because
let's face it, you'd love to see a man take the
blame for stuff. These alien abductions have been
happening for centuries and we continue to ignore
them. Real evil wears a human face, always.
Whatever, this has nothing to do with what we're
supposed to talk about anyways. This is in 2015,
so why don't we just move forward to what we
actually are trying to get into. Do you always
change the topic when you're wrong? Wow, I guess
I missed the part where we concluded that I was
wrong, or when you were wrong for that matter,
because like I said, I keep an objective
perspective in these sort of things,
but hey, I guess that's just your
feminist stubbornism talking. It's kind of
cute, actually, I can't lie, but like I said,
I just like to let the universe take the wheel and
just come inside of me, so. God damn, is he giving
him a cigarette after? What do you categorize
your channel as? A tin hat unk hasn't been laid
since college? Oh, funny you say that. Actually,
peptides and a high protein diet keep me lean,
maybe like Brad and Fight Club, so I'm actually
doing all right in that category, and by that
category, I mean sex. Right. Just call me when
you're not dead by 30. Okay, for sure. Feisty,
this one. Chow, we're going to go ahead and mark
that up as round one. Me. Moving right along for
you guys, so to contextualize this a little bit,
there was this YouTuber who found this Discord or
Reddit. I just, you know, if you want to just give
me a little gap. Yeah, just keep breathing on my
neck, bro. Discord or Reddit thread or something
that talked about this magic elixir out there.
It's a plant. Okay, now she wants to pay attention
to the details. This plant is said to potentially
hold some universal truths when you consume it,
almost like a magic potion. Like the Ketamine,
it's assumed to have hallucinogenic properties.
Where can I buy some? Okay, and yeah, so this.
YouTuber went out in the woods in search of it, and
you know, rumor is he hiked for weeks, and well,
he found it, guys. Allegedly. So there's some
highly confidential footage of this that's been
roaming around the dark depths of the internet,
but luckily with our experienced research team
over here on this channel, we were able to uncover
said footage. Dude, research team, it's like
guys in a Discord. Like, come on now, they're
not CIA, dude. We take our work seriously, and
in terms of seriously, I have to put this
warning forward before we proceed with any
any videos here, because what you're about to
see is very graphic. It's quite spooky. It's
very intense, honestly, just across the board.
There's been rumors of possible demonic imagery
involved as well, so just I want to put a warning
out there before you watch this. If you are
easily scared, if maybe if you're like, I don't
know, really like old and like wrinkly skin or
have like epilepsy or something, or maybe you got
a peanut allergy, possibly. Whatever. Colorblind.
I think you should just watch the video. Yeah,
whatever it might be, just be cautious, okay?
And here we go. Okay, I've been out here for
like seven days. I ran out of food this morning,
and ran out of water too, but I
do feel like we're getting close.
You see, that's it.
In a weird way, I could kind of taste it.
He said that I would do that,
but I didn't fing believe it.
Started north of Soledad Canyon,
worked our way down
to San Gabriel Mountains.
Mountains.
Woo.
Hello!
He did lie to me.
Um, because you actually
can't get arrested for vaping.
Oh my God, I just fell off a cliff.
Um, but.
Tell me that's not a
capital, oh, alphabet, song.
It's a navigation marker.
We watching the same video?
Basically, I just turned
myself in for no reason.
Which was fine, because
I stopped vaping, actually.
Oh my God.
Holy shit, guys.
Look, there it is.
Guys, that's it.
Go, go.
There you are.
See you in my beautiful, nice set.
Oh my God.
Oh!
It's the...
Oh, my precious little flower.
What is that?
Don't do that.
What the fis that?
No.
You know what it is.
It's...
Oh, hobbits.
My fing flower.
The ring.
What the f, man?
This thing's a fing piece of shit.
Okay.
I...
Dude, do not tell me you guys believe that.
That was the fakest video I've ever seen.
Kara, did you see that?
Look.
My mind goes to two places.
I'll be honest.
I'm going to hold off
on my first alien theory.
I'm going to meet you in the middle.
I'm going to say MKUltra part two.
I think it's a little bit more grounded.
We're talking about
psychedelic elements, CIA, right?
I mean, like, clearly his brain
was fed up on something.
I understand what you're saying.
I mean, I don't see how it has
anything to do with the CIA, but...
What did you say?
Why are we writing things off out the gate?
All right.
Go.
Go.
Go ahead.
What would be CIA's motive?
I mean, I'm not really understanding.
I understand MKUltra.
It's her mind game.
It's her mind game.
It's her mind game.
It's her mind game.
It's her mind game.
But I also think it's drugs.
I mean, because I've done
some crazy shit in my day.
All right.
Go.
Go.
Go ahead.
What would be CIA's motive?
I mean, I'm not really understanding.
I understand MKUltra.
It's her mind control, but it's
luring people into the woods?
That sounds more like a serial killer.
I mean, I also think it's drugs.
I mean, because I've done
some crazy shit in my day.
Like, my boy Staples down in
Tampa, he had some homegrown shit.
Dude, you do half a gram of that?
Oh, my God.
Like, I blacked out.
Woke up four days later in Memphis with
a black guy outside of Red Robin, okay?
There's a Filipino man with me, who, by the
way, I had never met, but feels oddly familiar,
right?
Like, we had, like, bonded
on this drug run, okay?
I guess I'm kind of losing my point.
The point of the story is...
What the f, man?
This thing fing sucks, dude.
What was that?
No way.
Oh.
Someone's definitely fing with us.
These definitely aren't
the real coordinates.
Okay.
These are high value
men in this stream, so...
Yeah, but it took a guy,
like, six hours to get here.
Yeah, but it took a guy,
like, six hours to get here.
Yeah, but it took a guy,
like, six hours to get here.
Yeah, but it took a guy,
like, six hours to get here.
I mean, there's no way that some
Reddit incel just miraculously found it.
Oh, shit.
I mean, fit.
I'll do it.
I'll go.
It's not like this thing's fing real.
You saw that video.
That's, like, the dumbest idea
that anyone's ever had, Reid.
Look, there's no way
that anyone could pay me.
Any amount of money,
you could've just fing...
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
I mean...
No.
Absolutely not.
This is so dangerous.
Oh.
Hey, y'all.
Welcome to the stream.
It's so long, Bradford.
Good to see some of y'all.
Hey, guys.
Enough with...
Guys, so those drugs were planted on me.
That's already been...
Tara, baby, can you
tell me what's going on?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
The chat that Kara those drugs are
planted yeah you know what fit I
think we should do it yeah well you
already know how I feel yeah come on
Ava look absolutely not guys okay look
I'm just saying we all have rent to pay
right and again this isn't fine real
enough stories okay look at the screen
when's the last time one of your videos
got five-digit viewership I don't care
look why the hell are any of us even
here anyways right God knows we don't
like each other we're definitely not
fing here to hear Reid's jokes okay
sorry I'm making a point I'm saying we
need the engagement that's why I've seen
your uptick in tick-tock lies with fans
recently too I know you need the money
yeah but not enough to like risk my
life for it risk my life who says we're
risking our lives I mean come on like
Reid said it could all be fake and if it
is we go out there we still make a f
ton of real money yeah it's not like you
need the money Nepo boy okay what's that
supposed to mean there you go exactly I
just don't even know why we're having
this conversation right now that's why
that's why also wait we're not gonna
cut in your little nerd right I mean we
should save the revenue for the talent
but it's just ridiculous look come on
Ava it's fine there's nothing out there
even gonna ask your girlfriend are you
just making up her mind for her no I
okay she makes a great point what the
fis she doing here okay guys
she's my partner in crime obviously and I
think she just texted me I great look
she's in she just you know she's in a
meeting right now I'm busy there we
go we all go out there edge the fans a
little bit and anything gets sketchy we
bounce 100% we're gone fine whoa f
yeah that's what I'm talking yeah
you feel that little team is forming the
man is look for all of our sakes I
am hoping that I'm wrong okay all right
motherfers get your strap on hey
everyone and welcome back to coffee
house crime my name is Adrian and I
have a wild mystery for you today so let's
dive right in today we're talking about
a mystical glowing plant it's pink and
blue and lately it's been all the craze
either the latest psychedelic sensation
or a one-way ticket to your demise
now I've gone through every fringe internet
forum so you don't have to and trust
me it's unbelievable now one user who is
apparently a botanist says that if a
single drop of blood touches even the
vines of this botanical anomaly the
core instantly reacts revealing these
like bioluminescent clusters inside
when consumed a user will feel this deeper
connection to the forest around
them like seeing trees breathe or feeling
this underground pulse and is
the craziest thing as if they can hear
mother nature herself now
personally I've never actually tried the
traditional natural Amazonian medicine
ayahuasca but what's known as the
natural teacher doesn't sound too far
off it's known to unclog these severe
mental blockages and basically cause
these massive revelations in that same
light a psych professor on the same
forum speculated that the plant induces
a total neuro regression in other words
it completely silences our human noise
things like modern anxieties ambitions
hunger and ego and instead rewires the
brain to align with Earth's natural
frequency or what some people are
calling her truths however saying that
there may be a catch a student emailed
me this morning about the opioid like
euphoria that some people feel simply by
looking at the plant from a few feet
away and drew a warning comparison to
toxoplasmosis now this is an actual
real parasite that will chemically rewire a
basically what she's theorizing here
is that this plant's glow may be a similar
biological trap or maybe it's just
a strange time in a Friday night
way to go
Jesus
cut my finger
so uh you know let's say we do find this
glowing flower drug thing would anyone
smoke it or eat it or whatever you do
are you kidding me of course I would man
what are we out here to do we're
trailblazers in this in this new journey
well would you not try you try
oh no fyeah I'm gonna
smoke this alien weed
come on now
come on
Ava
no
No
No why the fwould I want to
shit my brains out for four hours
shit your brain
we're talking about shitting their brains
that's what happens when you do
these kind of drugs you vomit and you shit
and you're like oh that was so much fun
I've done ayahuasca
and I did not shit my pants
well maybe that's your experience
I'm taking alien psychedelics that are gonna
open up my mind to the truths of the universe
I'm okay with a little collateral
of me shitting my pants
that's a great point
oh you're damn right dude I
would fing ruin everything
every pair of jeans I had.
I would shit my pants all day long.
This thing could give
you fing superpowers
for all we know.
Okay, well, when you
both shit your little diapies,
I'm not changing them.
Ew, what the?
Nobody asked you to do that either.
Yeah, what?
Make it weird.
I mean, didn't you say
you were, like, sober, Reed?
Why would you do some mystery drug?
Whoa, wordy.
Geez, hot topic.
Air out my business.
For all you know, that
could be really sensitive.
Well, I'm not trying to be rude.
It's just you literally
told me you were sober.
No, no, it's fine.
Look, I'm actually not sensitive about it.
Yes, I did a little stint in rehab,
but care is actually a
big reason I'm sober now,
so if my drug past led me to her,
then it was all worth it.
That's nice you feel that way,
but as a man, you gotta give
yourself a little more credit
to get rid of that mental weakness,
because that's all it is, really.
Addiction is not real.
Mental disorders aren't real.
Allergies, it's all
Oh, dude, addiction's not real?
No, it's all bullshit.
The guys I met in rehab?
Yeah, you'd change your tune.
Mental weakness.
What about you, man?
You're pretty fing quiet back here.
I already know you've
done some freaky shit.
What's your thing, man?
You like a drugs guy?
A lot of weird sex shit?
You into butt holes?
Come on, man, you would try it.
What's up with the red light?
Are you fing recording this, dude?
I don't think so.
Hey, man, well, that
whole spring break story
I told you would get me canceled bad,
so let's delete the
last 10 minutes of that.
Delete the last 15 minutes of that.
Shit.
Delete the last 20 minutes of the story.
All right, guys, I guess we're walking
the rest of the way.
Like, miles from a street lamp.
What do I do, turn around?
I mean, we're already all the way out here.
Look, this is exponentially more dangerous
for me as a woman
than it is for you two guys.
I mean, you get that, right?
I actually don't know if that's true.
The guy in the video was a man, right?
So if these things are real,
I guess they're obviously more interested
in me and Mason's flesh.
So just get behind us
and we'll take the fall.
Where's my knife?
Look, I mean, Ava is right, though, okay?
Like, let's be careful, stick together,
no side quests, okay?
You ready, babe?
The Triumphant Four, take on the woods.
Let's go solve this mystery, y'all.
Triumphant Four, really?
That's the best you could come up with?
All right, well, I'm work shopping it.
I thought it had a nice ring to it.
Talking about something.
Stupid.
Come on.
Where do we go?
This thing here.
Hey, hey, are we linked?
Yeah.
All right, let me get that mic.
Let's do this shit.
I know you got the big rig there,
but what is that thing?
That thing is called high
production value, baby.
Doing this bitch two cam.
Yeah, well, it looks a little ridiculous.
Wait, you wanna shoot this thing or what?
No, I actually prefer to watch
videos over and over again,
and then I form my thesis
and my fully formed outline.
Right, okay, so your
opinion is actually scripted,
ran through a filter so you can, what,
implement your bias?
Nice, dude, that's great.
I'm sure your fans really appreciate that.
I honestly can't with this guy.
You know, I think I kinda
get what he's saying.
It's just improv, guys.
Like, come on.
Hey, guys, read here.
Look, every Thursday in
Pasadena at the Laugh House,
big crowds.
This one's still connecting.
That one's rolling.
Okay, hey, guys, look.
Every Thursday, Pasadena Laugh House.
Hey, what's going on?
Time for this shit.
Big crowds.
Pasadena.
Hey, how is this streaming at all?
I don't have service.
We have a cloud system
that captures our feed
and connects directly to a Starlink server.
We actually have a feed going on right now
so people can join the live
on video and stream with us.
Can't see their video
because we have no service,
but viewers can.
You know, I don't really
like Mason too much,
but I think I need to hire you,
so maybe give me your number later?
Yeah, on that, you know,
stars and clouds are actually
two of my favorite classes in school.
I'm just kidding.
Look, I actually feel like me and you
have a lot of synergy, dude,
and I actually have this
hilarious sketch idea.
It's called going nuts.
I get turned into a squirrel, right?
And obviously, I don't know
how to live as a squirrel,
so like hilarity ensues and whatever.
We'll talk about it, but
it's fully animated, man.
It's cool.
Their camera guy is pretty hot.
You literally couldn't see him.
His streaming setup was huge.
We met at the afters in DTLA.
You've never mentioned it before.
Honestly, Reed was right.
The first night we ever met,
he was literally blasted on poppers
and swinging from the
ceiling with his pants off.
Oh my God.
I held his pants.
Yeah, we saw the thing.
He's a freak and I love it.
Can we just get back to the video?
I think the fans are leaving the chat.
Oh my God, we're already live?
So, how long have you
been dating this person?
Read.
Okay, nice talk.
Hey, get up here, I got a whole discord
of fing videographers
creaming their pants
to shoot for me.
All right, so, if anything goes sideways,
we're expecting more of
like a hand-to-hand combat
sort of thing.
If you guys remember my video series, but.
We're in the woods, where's Rachel?
I mean, Batman, they're
not gonna fing jump you.
This guy's good?
Yeah, no, get your moments,
get your laughs in, get your.
Hey, I got a Kevlar vest in
case the ghost brought bullets.
I'm more serious, no.
Hey, listen, listen, listen, listen.
If you guys remember my
brown belt Muay Thai video series,
might have to bust out some moves, so.
Ready, Choncho?
Come on.
Oh, well, thank God
Jason Bourne's here, man.
Well, come on, let's get you right.
Let's get you right now, come here.
Let's try out some moves.
This is called educating the next gen.
Ready, I want you to try something for me.
Now, the best offense is gonna be defense.
Well, shouldn't I throw a punch?
Yeah, throw a punch at me.
How a ghost would throw a punch?
Throw a punch at me.
Come on, give me, come
on, give me a real punch.
Come on, give me, give
me a real one right here.
Climb the ladder.
What the fwas that?
Here, go for it again real quick.
That was crazy.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Climb the ladder.
Oh my God, man.
Lock him in the arm bar, can't do anything.
Okay, but I'm not a fing spirit.
If I was a spirit, I'd like possess you
and fyour shit up.
I'm a, that doesn't
count and I wasn't ready.
Stay close.
I just got service.
Okay.
There's been updates on the case, look.
For millennia, the San Gabriel Mountains
have been the source of many a mystery.
From the Native Americans
to the westward expansion
to the modern times,
people have reported seeing
strange things in the woods.
And while some may
attribute this to Bigfoot
or the Boogeyman, there's one legend
that may explain all the others.
Through the many stories of strange noises
and things going bump in the night,
one sighting has remained consistent.
Witnesses for centuries
have reported seeing
very tall, cloaked figures
roaming the woods at night.
Some of these figures so tall, in fact,
that many mistake them
for trees at the first glance.
Well, it seems one collective mythos
connects these sightings
across time to a single source.
And that is the tale of
a cult that has presided
in the San Gabriel Mountains regions
longer than any religion, people, or tribe.
According to the legend,
the mountains are home
to one very special plant.
A plant that, according to the cult,
can grant special abilities and insight.
F, yeah, yo, yo,
send this link to the chat
with the boys, yeah, yeah.
Alpha dogs, I think it's
called, send it to them.
Oh my God, I can't
wait for everybody to see
how fing wrong you are.
This is great, this is great.
This is literally the best day ever.
Has a woman ever let you touch her?
Woman, baby with an E.
Why, you wanna get in line?
That's a pretty long list.
I mean, with consent.
I mean, with consent.
Share play connected.
Oh, bingo.
Nice.
However, this insight comes at a cost
as the plant itself needs to be fed.
Now, the legends differ on exactly
how this feeding process works,
but what we do know is that it allegedly
requires human victims.
This explains the series
of strange disappearances
that have been reported
in the region for centuries.
It seems in return, the cult is sustained
through near supernatural means.
As the cult members' skin and bones
begins to erode away,
they're replenished by the plant itself.
In that sense, they're
no longer entirely human.
If the legends are to be believed,
there's some new fusion of flora and fauna.
Because of this, several
of the current cult members
could have been cult
members for hundreds of years,
consistently re-sustained and rejuvenated
by the plant they worship.
From here, the legends go even further,
saying that as they're now sustained
and made new by this plant,
it can give them new forms,
particularly taller forms.
Their bones snap, their flesh tears,
and the plant refills them
into these new crater shapes.
This would explain the rumors of giants
spotted through the San Gabriel Mountains,
and the fact that they wear a cloak
explain how some of
them are mistaken for trees.
Not only are these cult members remade
into these mysterious
and horrifying creatures
that roam the mountains at night,
but they still maintain their devotion,
and they still maintain their dedication
to the plant itself.
Which is why, according to legend,
not only do they drag
their victims into the woods
for whatever their sacrifice
or feeding might be,
but they carve off the
faces of their victims
and then begin to wear them themselves.
The video said it had something to do
with like a cult, right?
Maybe it's like some incest cult.
I mean, you've heard
about that before, right?
Like the Appalachian cult people,
like they just stay in the woods,
and then they breed with each other,
and then their IQ just keeps
getting lower and lower.
It's talking about thousands of years
and flesh-eating mother nature creatures.
Like a metaphor.
Like you hear
Oh, fno, dude.
It's about these, it's
about human eating giants.
It sounds exactly like the book of Enoch
from those biblical times.
You know that?
It's the one book that's been taken
out of the biblical text.
Now they're giants, man?
Okay, so it's just like all the above.
It's like aliens, ghosts.
That was
Look, I just think there's
Jesus, f.
What?
What, you got something to say?
What do you think?
What do you think was
up with that video, huh?
Nothing, shocker.
Look, all I'm saying,
it's not human.
It's not some fing cult.
Can you stop shining that in my eyes?
Yeah, I know.
He has a real problem with the flashlight.
Thousands of years we've been seeing
Are you compensating for something?
Creatures come down from wherever.
We used to think it was gods.
Now we know it's aliens.
We have the evidence.
People have been hiding
shit in Nevada for decades.
If there's spacecrafts there,
there's organic stuff on those ships
that came with it too.
Okay, look, all I'm
saying is that both of you
could be boy-butting in
canoes by these fing freaks.
Boy-butting?
What?
You ever seen Deliverance?
Oh, that's not fing cool.
Don't you put that on us.
Boy-butting.
That's fing, no, that scene's fed up.
That's an evil scene.
It's ridiculous.
I'm just saying.
Everything has to do with sex with you.
Yeah, enough of the incest shit.
Good?
We back?
Fyeah, all right.
Guys, we're at the coordinates.
It's super dark.
It's gloomy.
There's a certain chill in the air.
It's 85 out.
Okay.
Dude just said it's dark.
Yeah, it is dark.
Duh.
Like, it's called contact, so.
Whatever, look.
We're currently out sleuthing for clues,
seeing if we can find anything.
Ava, you seen anything?
No, not yet.
Nothing weird about the dirt?
No.
Hey.
You sure there's nothing
mysterious going on out here
we can tell them about?
You know what?
What?
You getting this?
Oh, oh my God.
What?
Did you hear that?
What?
It's dirt, Mason.
Okay.
Um.
Got the most enthusiasm
we've gotten tonight.
I gotta go take a piss, so.
Look, you can't wander off.
Can you please just go
like right there or something?
Why?
I'm not gonna go dick
out in front of you guys.
Also, he's filming everything.
You can blur it.
Look, it's fine.
I'll just, I'll go behind a tree.
Okay, and don't go far, okay?
Like, like 30 paces max.
Roger that, Captain America.
Fing Christ.
I'm just.
All right, tensions are clearly high.
As we delve deeper
into this infamous forest.
Now, it's important to remember,
there's been many, many,
many strange occurrences
that have happened over here
in the last couple hundred years.
But no matter what happens,
it's inconsequential we
have to humble ourselves
and remember that whatever happens to us,
we're just, we're a speck.
And we're dust in the wind
for the thousands of years
of lineage between trees and wildlife.
Mason?
What?
What is it?
Holy.
Is that what he was wearing in the video?
Sure as hell looks like it.
Yo, yo, get in here.
Come on, come on, get in here.
This is good shit.
You can't touch it.
What the f?
There might be clues.
Look, this is an active crime scene, okay?
Oh my God.
You could get your DNA all over it
and you could serve 25 to life.
25 to life?
What the f?
He's alive.
And who told you that?
I thought you did your research.
I don't know.
Who told you that?
I thought you did your research
before you formed your opinions.
There's fing a million
Reddit threads about it.
Okay, he's fine.
Spoke to him?
Yeah, we got a beer last week.
No, I haven't fing talked to him,
but if you want to know about him,
his fing backpack's right there.
Look, I just don't think it's smart
to get your fing DNA all over it.
You don't think it's smart?
You don't think, what's,
God, you make things so difficult.
Do you know that?
Do you know how difficult you make things?
F.
Guys.
Reed?
Guys, get the fover here.
Holy shit.
F, f.
Reed, Reed, Reed,
Reed, Reed, what the f?
Guys, it happened.
And he took my dick with it.
You asshole.
It's pretty good, right?
What the fis that, man?
Hey, it's called a prank, bitch.
Look, it's not funny, okay?
Oh, come on, guys.
Look, it's kind of.
Look, they can track
you off that shit, okay?
Oh, relax.
Look, I also do signatures, right?
Call it my John Hancock.
So I'm sure by now everybody has heard
about this whole YouTuber
gone missing thing
and seen the debate over it.
And I can't believe that
people are actually believing this
because it is so obviously
another one of his pranks.
And all I need to see in order to know that is who this guy is
because this guy is known for his elaborate dumb-ass pranks.
Like, this is the same dude that dressed up as a dog and put
himself in a dog crate and left that crate outside of a shelter
and they took him in
and they euthanized him.
He was euthanized for 10 minutes before they flipped
him over and realized that he had a zipper on his back.
This is that guy.
Which, honestly, maybe this speaks more about the
animal shelter than it does him, but I don't care.
He's still a fing idiot, too.
The point is, this guy is
known for doing dumb-ass shit.
This is not the first time he has put himself in a dangerous situation and
played some stupid prank like this in order to get views and to get clout.
It's not the first time, and I'm
sure it won't be the last time.
So, I just can't believe that knowing this,
knowing his history, people are still buying this.
And on top of that, if
he's dead, who is this?
What are these?
Where did these come from?
Because these were taken after he died.
How is that possible?
So, yeah.
This is obviously just another one of his elaborate
pranks, and you guys are all falling for it.
And, honestly, I need everybody to
open their eyes and just be smarter.
Okay, you're acting like you
saw his head rolling around.
Basically, I did.
Like, half his red blood cells
are on the floor over there.
Dude, you don't believe that.
Come on.
What was that?
I think it's coming from that way.
Yo, buckle the fup.
I don't really do well with large
animals, Mason, so I'll give you this one.
Sounds good, buddy.
Not so funny anymore, huh?
Good for you?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I've been waiting for this
shit my whole goddamn life.
Reed?
Where'd Kara go?
Well, I don't know.
She was right here, right
before I went to take a piss.
How the fdid you not
notice she wasn't here?
Well, what the f, man?
You've met her.
She's so fing quiet.
Kara!
Hey, hey.
How are you not watching your girlfriend as
we hike through a dark, murderous forest?
F.
Fme, man.
That was prehistoric.
Maybe it was a falcon or something?
Fing falcon.
Try a goddamn pterodactyl.
That's gotta be her.
Kara!
Hey, Reed.
Hey, Reed, Reed.
Kara, where are you?
Hey, we need to stick together.
Let's fing go.
Reed, slow down.
Where are you, man?
Kara?
Did you say something, baby?
Kara?
Yo, is there something she does or what?
God, she's like fing talking backwards.
Is she having a stroke?
I don't know.
I don't know.
What do we do?
I don't know.
I've never seen something like this before.
Kara, honey?
No.
I don't need you.
Oh, okay.
F.
F, I'm the only person she
even spoke to since I got here.
Yeah, me too.
And I was here for an extra three hours.
Reed, why don't you go over there?
I don't know what to do.
She's like fing speaking
in tongues or some shit.
Look, just do something, okay?
F, Jesus Christ.
Is she prone to seizures?
Kara, Kara, baby, it's Reed.
It's Reed.
I'm right here.
You okay?
Yo, yo, yo, guys, guys, this
is the tree from the video.
We're close.
Mason, we're a little busy right now, okay?
Chad, hey, wait, come on this side.
Get it from over here.
Chad, we are deep into the woods,
and we are experiencing what has to be,
all I can assume is a
satanic symbol on the tree.
Same one from the video.
One of our explorers is
experiencing something otherworldly.
We're trying to make out what she's saying.
Okay.
A little slower, a little slower.
Just back up.
This is a little bit more
important right now.
If you guys can decide, okay, okay, okay.
If you guys can decide what she's
saying, comment down in the chat.
Look, we just need to
get her to stop doing this
and maybe take her to a hospital.
I don't...
Kara?
Kara?
Chad, we got movement.
Kara?
Kara, baby?
Hey, hey, hey.
Kara, Kara, Kara.
I let her do that.
Kara, baby, it's...
You scared us, right? Are you back, right?
Come on, just get my little handy warthog.
I, oh, f, I'm gonna hit you.
Hey, we're mobile chat.
I cannot wait to see you
try and explain that shit.
You see the fing logo on the tree?
Same tree from the video.
Same exact one.
Look, I was a little distracted, Mason.
Distracted?
Can you tell me what's going on right now?
What could you possibly be distracted by?
Oh, I don't know, maybe
because she gave herself
a fing concussion.
Yeah, well, some of us are laser focused
on the task at hand.
Right.
Figuring out what the fis going on
in this forest, okay?
What the f?
Holy shit.
It's real.
It's all fing real.
Oh my God, that's him.
Sarah, guys, guys.
Are you okay?
They said he was alive.
We need to go, okay?
Go?
What, you wanna leave?
No, open your eyes, it's happening.
It's happening.
This is it.
Mason, we need to go get the police
and an ambulance for Kara.
No, no, no, no, we're in it.
This is it.
Whatever the f's going on with Kara
means we just need to go further.
This is, we don't wanna leave.
Mason, this isn't a conspiracy
theory anymore, okay?
Look, look, look.
We don't know what else is out there.
This is a crime scene.
We don't know what's
out there, crime scene.
I don't care, but I'm not
gonna be the one to find out,
okay?
We need to let the police handle this.
The police, the police.
You don't think the police
have seen the fing video?
They haven't done shit, okay?
Dad, are you really insane?
Keep going.
Look, you pretend you
wanna be this justice warrior.
Now's your chance.
Get up from behind
the fing phone screen.
This is real life.
And?
You are such an obnoxious prick.
Okay, okay, okay.
We're calling each other fing names now?
We wanna do that?
All right, and you,
you're a B-tier influencer
playing fing journalist
from your high horse.
Oh, you know what?
Sorry, sorry, you're Studio in K-Town.
F.
I am a journalist.
Okay, for sure.
Keep telling yourself that.
God damn it.
You know what?
What?
What, yeah, I'm excited to hear this one.
What?
You're just a Beverly Hills man-child
who turned into a Venice shaman
who found a way to monetize idiocy.
Oh, does that one hurt?
Oh, I can see the gears
turning in real life, oh.
Ratio, bitch.
Ratio?
I got more subscribers than you.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You have monopoly on 12-year-old boys.
You know what?
I bet you're a fing month
away from an OnlyFans.
Fyou.
Just give me the fing keys.
What?
Give me the fing keys.
No.
I'm gonna go get the fing police
and an ambulance for Kara.
What, you're gonna
walk out there by yourself?
Look, I told you this wasn't a good idea.
I'm not letting you, okay?
Are you a psychopath?
Does this not affect you at all?
Look, look, we don't even know
if that's the fing YouTuber, okay?
He makes those, he makes prank videos.
This could be all a fing hoax.
I don't know.
Maybe it's a scarecrow,
scare off the birds.
We don't know anything.
Guys, I'm with Ava.
We gotta go back.
We gotta get Kara to a doctor.
No.
Thank God.
No.
Here, someone come help me lift her up.
Here.
I don't know.
Give her a fing Benadryl.
Here, come on.
Oh, f.
We got you, we got you.
Shh, shh, shh.
We got you.
Here, come on.
Guys, I'm...
One foot after another.
I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna get you.
One foot after another.
Look, I'm sorry.
We clearly picked up
some momentum out here,
found some crazy shit.
We're leaving.
But...
The group doesn't seem to
share my same tenacity, okay?
They're a bunch of cowards.
So...
I don't know, I did my best.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Yo, everybody online's talking about you.
Thank God I'm not the only
one tired of this pussy shit.
Can we please just focus
on getting her to the hospital?
Okay, wow, you're done already?
Done leeching off my followers?
All right, chat, we can
mark that up as round two.
Also me.
Come on, let's see that shit.
What did I actually just watch?
The craziest part isn't even what happened.
It's the fact that
somebody actually kept
the camera rolling. And to be
honest, it reminds me of one of
the biggest internet
controversies we've ever seen.
He is just another misogynistic
loser who has zero self
awareness and zero respect for
anybody around him. We've seen
before how a video like
this could completely derail
someone's whole entire career
overnight and to be honest, it
feels like that all over again.
He is someone who clearly has
never had to face the
consequences of his own actions
and I think it's time that that
changes right now and I can't
lie. I don't think the internet
will ever let something like
this go. His sponsorships
should be taken away. Honestly,
his whole platform should
be revoked. He doesn't deserve
it and it feels like one of
those videos that completely
changes the way the whole
entire internet looks at you as
a person. He is a sick
and he needs to be held
accountable. Okay. Well, I
mean that was that was a load of.
What are we doing? I
don't what are we supposed to do
just to ignore when we actually
find evidence and stuff in the
woods. Why are they pissed?
Why I don't understand what the
read your stand up right?
You guys say up all the
time and make people mad.
How do I fix this? I don't know man
but I I told a really up
Michael J Fox joke one time
people got pissed but I I don't
know. I don't know how to get
uncancelled. Okay. Whoa.
Okay. Don't throw that word
around. We do not need that
flying around. It's not even my
followers anyway. It's it's
your guys followers. I should
never. Where the are we?
That's that's super helpful as
if any of us know the answer to
that question. None of us have
connection. How would we know
where the we are? Okay. I
mean I got this thing but
like 2026. Is that a map?
Yeah, it's a map. What? You
know how to read a map? No one
knows how to read a map.
map this whole time.
Yeah, it's I don't know. It's
part of the the get up. Give
me that Hold on. Let me
show you how to do this. God
damn. It's huge. Okay, maybe
there's hope, right? No. Okay.
No, stop. Stop turning it. It's
upside down. No, you made
it upside down. East, right?
So, we have to go over there.
So, that's south, okay? Do
do the wet finger thing, right?
The wet finger thing. Oh
my . It's the wet finger
thing. Ever gone outside? What
is that gonna? What does that
have to do with north?
Alright, never eat soggy
waffles. Never. Wait. There's a
there's a key too. We could use
that. Okay, there's there's red
lines and there's there's blue
lines and.
I don't know. We're gonna die.
Guys, help me. Oh my god. So
dramatic. Are you okay? What's
happening?
Oh my god.
Oh That's my knife.
That's that's my knife.
I don't know what to do. Hey,
hey, hey, hey, no, we can talk
about this. I was just kidding
about the dramatic thing. That
was like, that was appropriate.
Actually, I think give it the
okay. Okay. Yeah, no problem.
No problem. Yeah. Okay. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
don't do that. Don't do that. Come on.
Oh my god.
Oh no, no.
What the f?
Oh my god.
Oh, what the f?
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
What, what?
Oh.
Breathe, breathe.
Okay, fthat, come on, come on, come on.
Let's go, let's go, come on.
Go, go, come on.
This way, this way, no, no, no.
Come on, come on.
She's fing
auto masochistic.
What?
Why does everything have
to do with sex with you?
Because everything has to do
with sex.
Go, go, go.
Okay, let's hide behind this tree.
Shit, shit, shit.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Yo, what are you doing?
Turn that fing light off.
Really? You thought those two
fing sticks were going to hide you?
Come on.
You're out.
Oh my God, we have service.
Oh my God.
Are we live?
How many viewers?
What's up?
Who are you calling?
We're live.
That's not calling.
Look, please.
Please.
Okay.
If you are watching,
please call the police.
We heard St. Angelo's,
but she's gone fing crazy.
Look, this isn't a fing prank.
This isn't a fing...
Did you hear his growls?
He's still out there.
He's still alive.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
It's from that way.
Please help.
Hey, we gotta go get him.
Fme.
We gotta go get him.
Come on.
Listen, fReed.
I don't know why they're even going here.
This is so absurd.
They could be making Reed into a fing
pair of boots or a stew or something.
Reed could have been the best man
at my wedding, and you know what?
FReed, because I am not walking
out into the distance like these two are,
not knowing what's
out there waiting for me,
especially after this bitch just
cut her entire fing face off.
Hell no.
You gotta get the fout of there.
Reed is completely and totally on his own.
No fing way.
What the f?
Okay.
Okay, come on.
That's it?
That's the place?
Okay, we can't go through the front, maybe?
Okay, I'm in.
Okay, I'm in.
Shit.
Shit.
I think there's another
entrance in the back.
What?
Just follow me, okay?
Okay, okay, okay.
Turn your flashlight off.
I don't know what I was gonna do.
This fing thing.
Just leave it to me.
Okay, I got it, I got it.
F.
Come on.
Wait, slow down.
Slow, slow, slow.
Okay, okay.
Oh, shit, oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
What the fwas that?
Shit, shit.
Okay.
I got it.
Let go.
Give it to me.
Let go.
Give it to me.
No.
Do you think he saw us?
That guy was fing giant.
Look at the lights.
Shut up.
We have to go towards the back.
Those are the same lights from the video.
Just follow me.
Okay.
Okay.
What the hell are you?
Shh.
Shh.
That girl would be so pleased.
Don't do this to me.
Please.
It's okay.
It's okay.
She'll heal you.
Please.
You sweet, sweet boy.
Please.
Go, go.
Hurry, hurry.
Oh, f.
Oh, shit.
Go, go, go.
Go, go, go, come on, come on.
Oh, shit.
Go, go, go.
Hey, over here, over here.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on.
I don't know,
I don't know.
I don't recognize any of the spirit.
I don't recognize any of this shit.
Somebody just fing enjoy this.
Oh my god.
Oh shit!
Oh no, don't, no, get off me.
Get off me, get off me.
Go.
Go, go, come on.
Come on, come on.
F.
Go, look in there.
In there, in there.
Go, go, go.
Come on.
Go, go.
Go, go.
Come on.
Oh shit.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Hey.
Hey, listen, we're going to...
We're going to fing die here.
I have never done DMor mushrooms or anything.
Shit.
Okay, yeah, she all
scares the fout of me.
No, I know I've done a million videos.
Racist estrogen or
whatever in a good way, but...
I'm just...
I'm a fing fraud.
Okay, I'm a fraud.
Fing fraud.
Yeah.
I didn't have, like, friends.
Growing up.
Like, at all.
I don't know why that happened.
I moved to LA and got invited to join the Lit
House from those stupid fing musical. Ly videos.
I'm sorry.
And give a fthe whole to put gun dick out on
the Instagram just for the first time in my life
I had friends I had
somebody I could fing talk to
And of course my views drop on three
videos and nobody wants to shoot me anymore.
Some fing friends, right?
Just fing kick me out
Thought that was it.
Pack my shit up and go
back to my fing hometown
I
Posted the red pill man is fear video.
Okay, right back. I loved it. I was hot.
I
Fought for the same shit just leaned into it.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, these are these are my friends
yeah, you guys think think I'm
cool as my it's my community and.
Here I am.
So fing alone so so desperate
to be to be good enough that I'm in a
Trap house with poison ivy or
naked fing plant creature people
The closer we get to dying
the more fing viewers we get
They don't give a fabout us
But it does.
I
Was eight my
dad left my mom and.
I tried to get in contact with him a
lot, but he never responded to me.
So when I was 18, I I went on some
sketchy website. I found some address.
They drove there all that night and.
When I got there I found him.
Family.
And I felt like.
The worst life that anyone ever lived I.
Drove home and I never told my mom and I never even told my
friends because I thought they would think I was fing weirdo
And when I got into
the true crime stuff, I I.
Guess it just reminded me that I.
Didn't have.
The shit is like many winners ever lived.
And I um, I know you don't.
Think I'm like a journalist or whatever but.
I
Guess I just hope that.
What I do does something
like that for someone else.
Can't tell you secret.
I
Watched every single one of your videos.
Great.
And.
For what it's worth I think I
think you are a hell of a journalist
better than whatever
the hell this and I do and.
Yeah, but it does help people so.
I
Think maybe we could be friends.
Mason!
Ava!
Stop!
Don't hurt her!
I can't do that!
Mason, run!
Mother Nature needs her thirst quenched!
Please.
This is almost too risky.
Who's in the chat?
We are in complete starvist.
Get out of here!
Save yourselves!
Look, I'm not leaving
here without you, okay?
How honorable.
My family's been called
many things over the years.
Oh, please.
Do you have plans for me, my darling?
No, no, no, no, no.
Take me instead!
Mason, no.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Mason.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can get your big, hungry tree fs.
I got way more flesh on me!
Take me!
Not her.
You're willing to sacrifice
yourself to Mother?
I just can't lose my friend.
So be it.
I'll be back.
Mason, run!
Save yourself!
Get the fout of here, Ava.
They were going to find me anyway, okay?
Mother will be so pleased with you.
Will it be quick?
No.
Mason!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
There is absolutely no fing way.
Are you seriously
going to end it like that?
Did we just watch a man get eaten?
This might be the craziest
cliffhanger I've ever been left on.
After everything Mason went through
to protect Ava, what just happened?
So they're making your
friend into a meat puppet.
Did Mason just get eaten?
Playing jump rope with his intestines.
We watch Mason literally
risk everything to save her.
And then it just cuts to black.
There's dirt.
Personally, I don't think this has ever had
anything to do with Ava actually surviving.
Get a big fing stick.
It feels like there's a much
bigger plan behind the scenes.
Grab a rock.
And somehow Ava ended
up right in the middle of it.
Why was this like so romantic?
You're gonna die.
Like I know that they were talking about being
friends and everything, but honestly nothing
bonds people like trauma.
Smash one of those ugly
creatures in the fing face.
I don't know what to think.
I don't know what to believe.
I don't.
Oh my god, it's back.
Oh my god.
Rise and shine.
Good morning.
Silence!
Manners, please.
Once a year, we must give
Mother someone special.
Someone whose greed
exceeds their devotion to her gifts.
Someone who has fallen so far from grace.
There's no path home.
But someone whose inner
strength illustrates potential.
I used to be like you, Ava.
In my past.
My past life, broken.
I grew up in the foster system.
Bouncing between houses that weren't homes.
No family, no blood.
I used to think that
peace lived in a pill bottle.
Until they found me.
And everything changed.
They offered me a body.
Mother's nectar.
It was like my eyes
opened for the first time.
Everything before that was chemical.
But this
was pure.
Shh.
And so I gave myself to her.
To them.
My true family.
I became a soldier for my elders.
They saw the divinity that I
was too blind to see in myself.
So I offered myself to her.
Willingly.
In the hopes that she
would grant me new life.
She did.
Many are
are
nothing but nourishment.
Shh.
For her.
And a snack for us.
Mmm.
Let the select few
receive eternal life.
And I choose you, Ava.
She chooses you to join us.
Your strength is admirable
and we need more soldiers.
Let me go!
Shh.
She's already delivered for you.
Giving you what you've always wanted.
Now it's your turn to deliver for her.
Let me fing go, please!
I want you to look at them in fear.
And show them all the eyes of
someone who sits humbled in her strength.
Admit that you are nothing
but a puppet for worldly items.
But now
you are royalty.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No!
Now smile for the fans at home.
Oh, no, no, no!
Do you think it's real?
Only one way to find out.
AVAILABLE NOW
When was the last time you saw him?
I mean, he wasn't at
the last few blood raves.
Maybe it is true.
I'm not buying it.
I mean, I saw the blood
bag in Reed's stomach.
They can fool the normies,
but they can't fool us.
I knew he was talking to other girls.
I don't know, I have a
bad feeling about this.
It'll be fine.
Oh my god, my ear is bleeding.
Don't be dramatic, Monce.
I mean it.
We're almost there anyway.
Lowey?
I have Pilates at 8 a.m. tomorrow.
Lowey?
Oh my God, what?
Now.
Ahhhh!
Oh my God.
Ahhhh!
F... G... H... I... J... K...
I'm an opium
cure
sick
body
box
man
in...
A... B... C... D... E...
F... G... H... I... J... K...
A... B... C... D... E...
F... G... H... I... J... K...
I mean, bend me over and show me
the 50 states. That was fing nuts.
I mean, as crazy as it was, it was
almost the final piece of the puzzle.
It's all really starting to make sense now.
First, let me start off by explaining this to you
guys, because most of you might not know this,
but the Alphabet Song was actually copy written in 1835 by
Charles Bradley, an infamous soul local to the Boston area.
Now, it's important to realize that this is during the
time when numerous secret societies are running rampant.
I mean, you've got the Independent Order of Recobites,
you have the Freemasons, the Illuminati, of course.
And it's also important to note that this is taking place right before
one of the more significant moments in the United States' history,
the California Gold Rush, right?
So, if you can see what I'm getting at here, when you have two ginormous
and fiscally significant assets like gold and the Alphabet Song,
it's more than reasonable to believe that Charles, along with his
other fraternity members, when they weren't dealing with each other,
they were most likely trying to accommodate as many
assets and commodities as they can from either coast
before then pressing and conquering inwards via
the railroad system that, don't forget, they owned,
taking over everything in their path in order to put a monopoly on
all the commodities and assets that the United States has to offer
before taking over the
goddamn country itself.
I mean, and with all that in mind, we turn back
to the video, and in my ever-so-humble opinion,
how to assume that there's some sort of
code or hidden message embedded beneath it?
I don't know. I believe we've just stumbled
across something from the original Deep State,
something sinister provided by, let's see
here, Mr. Toes Liquor, 06, Mr. Toes Liquor.
Thank you for your submission. It's clear
you were out there doing the Lord's work,
pulling back the curtain in this fed-up facade
of a world that we're supposed to just accept.
I applaud you.
So I'm going to dish it out to you guys, the
fans. Let me know in the comments what you think.
We're going to take a brief moment, a brief break,
and hear from our sponsor. Who's our sponsor today?
Not a clue.
Not a clue. Okay, whatever. We're going to figure out who
that is, and we thank them for their support as always.
When you guys tune back in, we're going to be hearing from
Ava Lauren, host of the Bloody Truth True Crime podcast,
so be sure to tune back in.
My name is Ava Lauren, and I'm the host
of the Bloody Truth True Crime podcast.
So be sure to tune back in.
Until then, feel free to join our
Facts Social community, link in bio.
Like, subscribe, comment, go take a piss, do
whatever you've got to do during the time being,
and we will be right back.
Boom.
Oh my God, dude. What the f?
How long do you typically stream for?
I was almost done. Thank you very much.
Also, all that stuff at the end, don't
you think that's a bit of a stretch, man?
Come on, brother. We've always
been in a spiritual war, man.
Come on, brother. We've always
been in a spiritual war, man.
When you get a little older,
you're going to understand.
Yeah, well, whatever. I thought you were
going to be done like an hour ago, dude.
Are you yawning?
I'm pressing the red
button. Come on, grow up.
Look, when I'm rolling, I'm rolling with it.
You feel me? I'm getting that flow state.
My audience, yeah,
they get off to that shit.
Oh, yeah, man. No, I'm
sure like all two of them love it.
This guy, okay. Yeah, I'll be, you know, Sigma
Mind actually sold out in the first 543 hours.
Oh, no, actually, I heard about this. Those
were the pills with the dog hair in them, right?
This guy's got jokes.
Yeah, yeah, no, wolf hair.
Actually, yeah, yeah, Alpsman, Razor
T, keep their pecker up in the bedroom.
So if you've been getting a little
nervous, you just let me know.
Let me know.
Oh, no, no, trust me.
My T is big.
For sure.
My T is...
It's fine.
Yeah, man, look, I saw that little recent
live stream comedy show.
You saw it?
Yeah.
Oh, dude, yeah, it's sick, right?
Well, I mean, the
execution's a little sloppy,
but that bit, that's a good bit, right?
Yeah.
So, like, you know, the next time I do it,
like, dude, the sky's the fing limit.
No, for sure, brother.
One note, if I may.
Next time you take the camera,
you point it at the stage
where the act is happening
instead of the amphitheater
with all the empty seats.
Well, I had an unpaid intern,
so he's not really focused.
Look, man, I'm just fing with you, bro.
Look, all I'm saying,
there's a reason you're here, too, buddy.
And hey, I'm just yanking
your chain, too, buddy.
What are you doing?
Oh, dude, you're so fing tense, man.
That's why you're so...
Get your soft-ass hands off me, bro.
West Hollywood's that way, f.
Dude, okay, relax, man.
Look, I'm just trying to get
you in a comfortable state
to receive some creative energy here.
I got this awesome video idea, right?
You know those Day
in the Life videos, right?
Okay, we would do one,
except I'd be you for the day.
Like, the whole deal, right?
You'd be me.
We'll swap clothes, I'll
do your accent, really.
I don't have an accent.
You kind of got like a, it doesn't matter.
Look, whatever, Cara's
already down to film it.
Dude, it would be dope, right?
Because I've been
working on character work,
and adding someone like you to my show,
like, it'd fing crush, man.
It'd be so cool.
Ah, you see, I got it.
So you're saying you want to
mock me on stage, for sure?
No, I didn't say that.
That's not what I said.
It's like, it's in the
name of comedy, dude.
It's like all in good fun, right?
Yeah, good fun, for sure.
Tell you what, I'll think about it, pal.
Okay, well, here, you
don't need to think about it,
because I actually brought
some costume pieces,
help you get into the mindset.
We got an overnight bag?
What is this?
Boom.
Cara's brand, the Winter Collection.
Hence all the snowflakes.
Oh, no, I got that.
She made the shirt, dude.
She's so fing talented.
She's like a little Warhol.
Look, look what she just did right here.
She just doodled this.
Shit, man, you're early.
What the f, man?
I'm in the middle of the pitch.
It's like so fing unprofessional.
Yeah, come on.
Wow, you got a nice place here.
I know.
I mean, I could see the Hollywood sign
from your front porch.
Yeah, it running every Sunday.
Look, you watch the video?
No, we agreed to do live reactions.
Okay, good.
I didn't watch it either,
but I thought you might
have and broken our deal,
but it sounds like we're
on the same page, so.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Didn't know we had a live audience.
Oh, I'm not, I'm Reed.
I'm a performer, comic, improviser.
Also an actor.
And I can also play a straight man.
I can do a lot.
And I can age up and down in the scene.
Versatile, so.
Cool.
This is my girlfriend, Kara.
She's super talented also, like fashion.
She just drew this.
I was trying to show
him, like, that's off the cuff.
Okay, whatever.
Yeah, it's great to meet you guys.
Yeah, yeah, it's great, yeah.
Well, I actually, I already
feel like I know you.
I've seen a few clips of your podcast.
Nice.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you ever get tired of talking
about all that depressing shit?
Murder this, murder
that, murdering my vibe.
Yeah, it's depressing,
but, you know, it's real.
Oh, I, yeah.
You know, we live in a
dark, carnivorous world
where terrible things happen.
And it's not because of inter
dimensional alien beings,
but, you know, it's because of us.
And it's not until we
talk about those things
that we can learn from
history and hopefully, you know,
see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Correct.
I agree.
I second that.
Look, look, Gandhi, let's save the activism
for the stream, okay?
Can we get into this, guys?
Please.
Get this shit over with.
Finally.
Chat, I would now like
to welcome Ava Lauren,
host of the Bloody Truth podcast,
a true crime pod with a
unique focus on cold cases.
Is that right?
That is correct.
Lovely.
How you doing, Ava?
I'm doing pretty well, thank you.
Awesome, great.
Besides that, would you
categorize your podcast
as a left-leaning commentary
that weaponizes these
tragedies you talk about
as an excuse to push your
fear-mongering agenda?
As a liberal mouthpiece, of course.
You know, I focus on cold cases
because I want to see
if there's any information
that has been left out
by previous investigators
or that has emerged in recent years.
In terms of what I was saying?
No, I would not categorize
myself as fear-mongering
or a liberal mouthpiece.
I believe that there are families out there
who've lost loved ones
who have hope for justice.
I'm helping these families find closure.
Okay, very righteous, yeah.
Ava and I recently disagreed
on the disappearance
of a Rebecca Mark who went missing
outside of a bar in New Hampshire.
We all heard the distress call.
You know, she mentioned a large being
with an abnormally shaped head chasing her
and she also mentioned
right before the call cut out
that there was a bright light
appearing behind the figure.
Witnesses that night stated
that she was asking around for.
Ketamine, which in a high enough dosage can
create pretty incredible hallucinations.
Interesting. Really, how do you know
about this? Actually, you know what? Let me
rephrase that question. Do you take part
in illicit drug activity? I'm not afraid
to admit that I had a phase in high
school. Oh, okay. So you are on record
admitting your judgment might be impaired. Just so you guys know, the sort of things like
Ketamine tend to stick around in your system for a number of years after you take it.
Her bones were found not even months after the kidnap. Okay, never confirmed
to be her bones. The burial site wasn't even miles away from the bar.
Look, we can draw conclusions off of bullshit or we
can actually look at the facts. I can point to the
mysterious disappearances of the 50s as very
similar situations. Very large beings, check.
Abnormally shaped heads, check. Bright light
appearing behind the kidnap pee, check. I mean,
what more do you need to hear? Look, I found that
witness myself. Okay, how? I went through every photo
that was posted in the bar that night to find
witnesses and talk to them. He was too afraid
to admit to the police about the illicit drug
activity. Her family knew she wasn't stupid enough
to just walk off the highway to her death. They thanked me.
She was stupid enough to just rip Kay all night, apparently.
They thanked me for connecting her death to the
string of murders that were happening around that
time. They could finally have closure. God, you are a
hero. Or maybe you extended some man's prison time because
let's face it, you'd love to see a man take the
blame for stuff. These alien abductions have been
happening for centuries and we continue to ignore
them. Real evil wears a human face, always.
Whatever, this has nothing to do with what we're
supposed to talk about anyways. This is in 2015,
so why don't we just move forward to what we
actually are trying to get into. Do you always
change the topic when you're wrong? Wow, I guess
I missed the part where we concluded that I was
wrong, or when you were wrong for that matter,
because like I said, I keep an objective
perspective in these sort of things,
but hey, I guess that's just your
feminist stubbornism talking. It's kind of
cute, actually, I can't lie, but like I said,
I just like to let the universe take the wheel and
just come inside of me, so. God damn, is he giving
him a cigarette after? What do you categorize
your channel as? A tin hat unk hasn't been laid
since college? Oh, funny you say that. Actually,
peptides and a high protein diet keep me lean,
maybe like Brad and Fight Club, so I'm actually
doing all right in that category, and by that
category, I mean sex. Right. Just call me when
you're not dead by 30. Okay, for sure. Feisty,
this one. Chow, we're going to go ahead and mark
that up as round one. Me. Moving right along for
you guys, so to contextualize this a little bit,
there was this YouTuber who found this Discord or
Reddit. I just, you know, if you want to just give
me a little gap. Yeah, just keep breathing on my
neck, bro. Discord or Reddit thread or something
that talked about this magic elixir out there.
It's a plant. Okay, now she wants to pay attention
to the details. This plant is said to potentially
hold some universal truths when you consume it,
almost like a magic potion. Like the Ketamine,
it's assumed to have hallucinogenic properties.
Where can I buy some? Okay, and yeah, so this.
YouTuber went out in the woods in search of it, and
you know, rumor is he hiked for weeks, and well,
he found it, guys. Allegedly. So there's some
highly confidential footage of this that's been
roaming around the dark depths of the internet,
but luckily with our experienced research team
over here on this channel, we were able to uncover
said footage. Dude, research team, it's like
guys in a Discord. Like, come on now, they're
not CIA, dude. We take our work seriously, and
in terms of seriously, I have to put this
warning forward before we proceed with any
any videos here, because what you're about to
see is very graphic. It's quite spooky. It's
very intense, honestly, just across the board.
There's been rumors of possible demonic imagery
involved as well, so just I want to put a warning
out there before you watch this. If you are
easily scared, if maybe if you're like, I don't
know, really like old and like wrinkly skin or
have like epilepsy or something, or maybe you got
a peanut allergy, possibly. Whatever. Colorblind.
I think you should just watch the video. Yeah,
whatever it might be, just be cautious, okay?
And here we go. Okay, I've been out here for
like seven days. I ran out of food this morning,
and ran out of water too, but I
do feel like we're getting close.
You see, that's it.
In a weird way, I could kind of taste it.
He said that I would do that,
but I didn't fing believe it.
Started north of Soledad Canyon,
worked our way down
to San Gabriel Mountains.
Mountains.
Woo.
Hello!
He did lie to me.
Um, because you actually
can't get arrested for vaping.
Oh my God, I just fell off a cliff.
Um, but.
Tell me that's not a
capital, oh, alphabet, song.
It's a navigation marker.
We watching the same video?
Basically, I just turned
myself in for no reason.
Which was fine, because
I stopped vaping, actually.
Oh my God.
Holy shit, guys.
Look, there it is.
Guys, that's it.
Go, go.
There you are.
See you in my beautiful, nice set.
Oh my God.
Oh!
It's the...
Oh, my precious little flower.
What is that?
Don't do that.
What the fis that?
No.
You know what it is.
It's...
Oh, hobbits.
My fing flower.
The ring.
What the f, man?
This thing's a fing piece of shit.
Okay.
I...
Dude, do not tell me you guys believe that.
That was the fakest video I've ever seen.
Kara, did you see that?
Look.
My mind goes to two places.
I'll be honest.
I'm going to hold off
on my first alien theory.
I'm going to meet you in the middle.
I'm going to say MKUltra part two.
I think it's a little bit more grounded.
We're talking about
psychedelic elements, CIA, right?
I mean, like, clearly his brain
was fed up on something.
I understand what you're saying.
I mean, I don't see how it has
anything to do with the CIA, but...
What did you say?
Why are we writing things off out the gate?
All right.
Go.
Go.
Go ahead.
What would be CIA's motive?
I mean, I'm not really understanding.
I understand MKUltra.
It's her mind game.
It's her mind game.
It's her mind game.
It's her mind game.
It's her mind game.
But I also think it's drugs.
I mean, because I've done
some crazy shit in my day.
All right.
Go.
Go.
Go ahead.
What would be CIA's motive?
I mean, I'm not really understanding.
I understand MKUltra.
It's her mind control, but it's
luring people into the woods?
That sounds more like a serial killer.
I mean, I also think it's drugs.
I mean, because I've done
some crazy shit in my day.
Like, my boy Staples down in
Tampa, he had some homegrown shit.
Dude, you do half a gram of that?
Oh, my God.
Like, I blacked out.
Woke up four days later in Memphis with
a black guy outside of Red Robin, okay?
There's a Filipino man with me, who, by the
way, I had never met, but feels oddly familiar,
right?
Like, we had, like, bonded
on this drug run, okay?
I guess I'm kind of losing my point.
The point of the story is...
What the f, man?
This thing fing sucks, dude.
What was that?
No way.
Oh.
Someone's definitely fing with us.
These definitely aren't
the real coordinates.
Okay.
These are high value
men in this stream, so...
Yeah, but it took a guy,
like, six hours to get here.
Yeah, but it took a guy,
like, six hours to get here.
Yeah, but it took a guy,
like, six hours to get here.
Yeah, but it took a guy,
like, six hours to get here.
I mean, there's no way that some
Reddit incel just miraculously found it.
Oh, shit.
I mean, fit.
I'll do it.
I'll go.
It's not like this thing's fing real.
You saw that video.
That's, like, the dumbest idea
that anyone's ever had, Reid.
Look, there's no way
that anyone could pay me.
Any amount of money,
you could've just fing...
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
I mean...
No.
Absolutely not.
This is so dangerous.
Oh.
Hey, y'all.
Welcome to the stream.
It's so long, Bradford.
Good to see some of y'all.
Hey, guys.
Enough with...
Guys, so those drugs were planted on me.
That's already been...
Tara, baby, can you
tell me what's going on?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
The chat that Kara those drugs are
planted yeah you know what fit I
think we should do it yeah well you
already know how I feel yeah come on
Ava look absolutely not guys okay look
I'm just saying we all have rent to pay
right and again this isn't fine real
enough stories okay look at the screen
when's the last time one of your videos
got five-digit viewership I don't care
look why the hell are any of us even
here anyways right God knows we don't
like each other we're definitely not
fing here to hear Reid's jokes okay
sorry I'm making a point I'm saying we
need the engagement that's why I've seen
your uptick in tick-tock lies with fans
recently too I know you need the money
yeah but not enough to like risk my
life for it risk my life who says we're
risking our lives I mean come on like
Reid said it could all be fake and if it
is we go out there we still make a f
ton of real money yeah it's not like you
need the money Nepo boy okay what's that
supposed to mean there you go exactly I
just don't even know why we're having
this conversation right now that's why
that's why also wait we're not gonna
cut in your little nerd right I mean we
should save the revenue for the talent
but it's just ridiculous look come on
Ava it's fine there's nothing out there
even gonna ask your girlfriend are you
just making up her mind for her no I
okay she makes a great point what the
fis she doing here okay guys
she's my partner in crime obviously and I
think she just texted me I great look
she's in she just you know she's in a
meeting right now I'm busy there we
go we all go out there edge the fans a
little bit and anything gets sketchy we
bounce 100% we're gone fine whoa f
yeah that's what I'm talking yeah
you feel that little team is forming the
man is look for all of our sakes I
am hoping that I'm wrong okay all right
motherfers get your strap on hey
everyone and welcome back to coffee
house crime my name is Adrian and I
have a wild mystery for you today so let's
dive right in today we're talking about
a mystical glowing plant it's pink and
blue and lately it's been all the craze
either the latest psychedelic sensation
or a one-way ticket to your demise
now I've gone through every fringe internet
forum so you don't have to and trust
me it's unbelievable now one user who is
apparently a botanist says that if a
single drop of blood touches even the
vines of this botanical anomaly the
core instantly reacts revealing these
like bioluminescent clusters inside
when consumed a user will feel this deeper
connection to the forest around
them like seeing trees breathe or feeling
this underground pulse and is
the craziest thing as if they can hear
mother nature herself now
personally I've never actually tried the
traditional natural Amazonian medicine
ayahuasca but what's known as the
natural teacher doesn't sound too far
off it's known to unclog these severe
mental blockages and basically cause
these massive revelations in that same
light a psych professor on the same
forum speculated that the plant induces
a total neuro regression in other words
it completely silences our human noise
things like modern anxieties ambitions
hunger and ego and instead rewires the
brain to align with Earth's natural
frequency or what some people are
calling her truths however saying that
there may be a catch a student emailed
me this morning about the opioid like
euphoria that some people feel simply by
looking at the plant from a few feet
away and drew a warning comparison to
toxoplasmosis now this is an actual
real parasite that will chemically rewire a
basically what she's theorizing here
is that this plant's glow may be a similar
biological trap or maybe it's just
a strange time in a Friday night
way to go
Jesus
cut my finger
so uh you know let's say we do find this
glowing flower drug thing would anyone
smoke it or eat it or whatever you do
are you kidding me of course I would man
what are we out here to do we're
trailblazers in this in this new journey
well would you not try you try
oh no fyeah I'm gonna
smoke this alien weed
come on now
come on
Ava
no
No
No why the fwould I want to
shit my brains out for four hours
shit your brain
we're talking about shitting their brains
that's what happens when you do
these kind of drugs you vomit and you shit
and you're like oh that was so much fun
I've done ayahuasca
and I did not shit my pants
well maybe that's your experience
I'm taking alien psychedelics that are gonna
open up my mind to the truths of the universe
I'm okay with a little collateral
of me shitting my pants
that's a great point
oh you're damn right dude I
would fing ruin everything
every pair of jeans I had.
I would shit my pants all day long.
This thing could give
you fing superpowers
for all we know.
Okay, well, when you
both shit your little diapies,
I'm not changing them.
Ew, what the?
Nobody asked you to do that either.
Yeah, what?
Make it weird.
I mean, didn't you say
you were, like, sober, Reed?
Why would you do some mystery drug?
Whoa, wordy.
Geez, hot topic.
Air out my business.
For all you know, that
could be really sensitive.
Well, I'm not trying to be rude.
It's just you literally
told me you were sober.
No, no, it's fine.
Look, I'm actually not sensitive about it.
Yes, I did a little stint in rehab,
but care is actually a
big reason I'm sober now,
so if my drug past led me to her,
then it was all worth it.
That's nice you feel that way,
but as a man, you gotta give
yourself a little more credit
to get rid of that mental weakness,
because that's all it is, really.
Addiction is not real.
Mental disorders aren't real.
Allergies, it's all
Oh, dude, addiction's not real?
No, it's all bullshit.
The guys I met in rehab?
Yeah, you'd change your tune.
Mental weakness.
What about you, man?
You're pretty fing quiet back here.
I already know you've
done some freaky shit.
What's your thing, man?
You like a drugs guy?
A lot of weird sex shit?
You into butt holes?
Come on, man, you would try it.
What's up with the red light?
Are you fing recording this, dude?
I don't think so.
Hey, man, well, that
whole spring break story
I told you would get me canceled bad,
so let's delete the
last 10 minutes of that.
Delete the last 15 minutes of that.
Shit.
Delete the last 20 minutes of the story.
All right, guys, I guess we're walking
the rest of the way.
Like, miles from a street lamp.
What do I do, turn around?
I mean, we're already all the way out here.
Look, this is exponentially more dangerous
for me as a woman
than it is for you two guys.
I mean, you get that, right?
I actually don't know if that's true.
The guy in the video was a man, right?
So if these things are real,
I guess they're obviously more interested
in me and Mason's flesh.
So just get behind us
and we'll take the fall.
Where's my knife?
Look, I mean, Ava is right, though, okay?
Like, let's be careful, stick together,
no side quests, okay?
You ready, babe?
The Triumphant Four, take on the woods.
Let's go solve this mystery, y'all.
Triumphant Four, really?
That's the best you could come up with?
All right, well, I'm work shopping it.
I thought it had a nice ring to it.
Talking about something.
Stupid.
Come on.
Where do we go?
This thing here.
Hey, hey, are we linked?
Yeah.
All right, let me get that mic.
Let's do this shit.
I know you got the big rig there,
but what is that thing?
That thing is called high
production value, baby.
Doing this bitch two cam.
Yeah, well, it looks a little ridiculous.
Wait, you wanna shoot this thing or what?
No, I actually prefer to watch
videos over and over again,
and then I form my thesis
and my fully formed outline.
Right, okay, so your
opinion is actually scripted,
ran through a filter so you can, what,
implement your bias?
Nice, dude, that's great.
I'm sure your fans really appreciate that.
I honestly can't with this guy.
You know, I think I kinda
get what he's saying.
It's just improv, guys.
Like, come on.
Hey, guys, read here.
Look, every Thursday in
Pasadena at the Laugh House,
big crowds.
This one's still connecting.
That one's rolling.
Okay, hey, guys, look.
Every Thursday, Pasadena Laugh House.
Hey, what's going on?
Time for this shit.
Big crowds.
Pasadena.
Hey, how is this streaming at all?
I don't have service.
We have a cloud system
that captures our feed
and connects directly to a Starlink server.
We actually have a feed going on right now
so people can join the live
on video and stream with us.
Can't see their video
because we have no service,
but viewers can.
You know, I don't really
like Mason too much,
but I think I need to hire you,
so maybe give me your number later?
Yeah, on that, you know,
stars and clouds are actually
two of my favorite classes in school.
I'm just kidding.
Look, I actually feel like me and you
have a lot of synergy, dude,
and I actually have this
hilarious sketch idea.
It's called going nuts.
I get turned into a squirrel, right?
And obviously, I don't know
how to live as a squirrel,
so like hilarity ensues and whatever.
We'll talk about it, but
it's fully animated, man.
It's cool.
Their camera guy is pretty hot.
You literally couldn't see him.
His streaming setup was huge.
We met at the afters in DTLA.
You've never mentioned it before.
Honestly, Reed was right.
The first night we ever met,
he was literally blasted on poppers
and swinging from the
ceiling with his pants off.
Oh my God.
I held his pants.
Yeah, we saw the thing.
He's a freak and I love it.
Can we just get back to the video?
I think the fans are leaving the chat.
Oh my God, we're already live?
So, how long have you
been dating this person?
Read.
Okay, nice talk.
Hey, get up here, I got a whole discord
of fing videographers
creaming their pants
to shoot for me.
All right, so, if anything goes sideways,
we're expecting more of
like a hand-to-hand combat
sort of thing.
If you guys remember my video series, but.
We're in the woods, where's Rachel?
I mean, Batman, they're
not gonna fing jump you.
This guy's good?
Yeah, no, get your moments,
get your laughs in, get your.
Hey, I got a Kevlar vest in
case the ghost brought bullets.
I'm more serious, no.
Hey, listen, listen, listen, listen.
If you guys remember my
brown belt Muay Thai video series,
might have to bust out some moves, so.
Ready, Choncho?
Come on.
Oh, well, thank God
Jason Bourne's here, man.
Well, come on, let's get you right.
Let's get you right now, come here.
Let's try out some moves.
This is called educating the next gen.
Ready, I want you to try something for me.
Now, the best offense is gonna be defense.
Well, shouldn't I throw a punch?
Yeah, throw a punch at me.
How a ghost would throw a punch?
Throw a punch at me.
Come on, give me, come
on, give me a real punch.
Come on, give me, give
me a real one right here.
Climb the ladder.
What the fwas that?
Here, go for it again real quick.
That was crazy.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Climb the ladder.
Oh my God, man.
Lock him in the arm bar, can't do anything.
Okay, but I'm not a fing spirit.
If I was a spirit, I'd like possess you
and fyour shit up.
I'm a, that doesn't
count and I wasn't ready.
Stay close.
I just got service.
Okay.
There's been updates on the case, look.
For millennia, the San Gabriel Mountains
have been the source of many a mystery.
From the Native Americans
to the westward expansion
to the modern times,
people have reported seeing
strange things in the woods.
And while some may
attribute this to Bigfoot
or the Boogeyman, there's one legend
that may explain all the others.
Through the many stories of strange noises
and things going bump in the night,
one sighting has remained consistent.
Witnesses for centuries
have reported seeing
very tall, cloaked figures
roaming the woods at night.
Some of these figures so tall, in fact,
that many mistake them
for trees at the first glance.
Well, it seems one collective mythos
connects these sightings
across time to a single source.
And that is the tale of
a cult that has presided
in the San Gabriel Mountains regions
longer than any religion, people, or tribe.
According to the legend,
the mountains are home
to one very special plant.
A plant that, according to the cult,
can grant special abilities and insight.
F, yeah, yo, yo,
send this link to the chat
with the boys, yeah, yeah.
Alpha dogs, I think it's
called, send it to them.
Oh my God, I can't
wait for everybody to see
how fing wrong you are.
This is great, this is great.
This is literally the best day ever.
Has a woman ever let you touch her?
Woman, baby with an E.
Why, you wanna get in line?
That's a pretty long list.
I mean, with consent.
I mean, with consent.
Share play connected.
Oh, bingo.
Nice.
However, this insight comes at a cost
as the plant itself needs to be fed.
Now, the legends differ on exactly
how this feeding process works,
but what we do know is that it allegedly
requires human victims.
This explains the series
of strange disappearances
that have been reported
in the region for centuries.
It seems in return, the cult is sustained
through near supernatural means.
As the cult members' skin and bones
begins to erode away,
they're replenished by the plant itself.
In that sense, they're
no longer entirely human.
If the legends are to be believed,
there's some new fusion of flora and fauna.
Because of this, several
of the current cult members
could have been cult
members for hundreds of years,
consistently re-sustained and rejuvenated
by the plant they worship.
From here, the legends go even further,
saying that as they're now sustained
and made new by this plant,
it can give them new forms,
particularly taller forms.
Their bones snap, their flesh tears,
and the plant refills them
into these new crater shapes.
This would explain the rumors of giants
spotted through the San Gabriel Mountains,
and the fact that they wear a cloak
explain how some of
them are mistaken for trees.
Not only are these cult members remade
into these mysterious
and horrifying creatures
that roam the mountains at night,
but they still maintain their devotion,
and they still maintain their dedication
to the plant itself.
Which is why, according to legend,
not only do they drag
their victims into the woods
for whatever their sacrifice
or feeding might be,
but they carve off the
faces of their victims
and then begin to wear them themselves.
The video said it had something to do
with like a cult, right?
Maybe it's like some incest cult.
I mean, you've heard
about that before, right?
Like the Appalachian cult people,
like they just stay in the woods,
and then they breed with each other,
and then their IQ just keeps
getting lower and lower.
It's talking about thousands of years
and flesh-eating mother nature creatures.
Like a metaphor.
Like you hear
Oh, fno, dude.
It's about these, it's
about human eating giants.
It sounds exactly like the book of Enoch
from those biblical times.
You know that?
It's the one book that's been taken
out of the biblical text.
Now they're giants, man?
Okay, so it's just like all the above.
It's like aliens, ghosts.
That was
Look, I just think there's
Jesus, f.
What?
What, you got something to say?
What do you think?
What do you think was
up with that video, huh?
Nothing, shocker.
Look, all I'm saying,
it's not human.
It's not some fing cult.
Can you stop shining that in my eyes?
Yeah, I know.
He has a real problem with the flashlight.
Thousands of years we've been seeing
Are you compensating for something?
Creatures come down from wherever.
We used to think it was gods.
Now we know it's aliens.
We have the evidence.
People have been hiding
shit in Nevada for decades.
If there's spacecrafts there,
there's organic stuff on those ships
that came with it too.
Okay, look, all I'm
saying is that both of you
could be boy-butting in
canoes by these fing freaks.
Boy-butting?
What?
You ever seen Deliverance?
Oh, that's not fing cool.
Don't you put that on us.
Boy-butting.
That's fing, no, that scene's fed up.
That's an evil scene.
It's ridiculous.
I'm just saying.
Everything has to do with sex with you.
Yeah, enough of the incest shit.
Good?
We back?
Fyeah, all right.
Guys, we're at the coordinates.
It's super dark.
It's gloomy.
There's a certain chill in the air.
It's 85 out.
Okay.
Dude just said it's dark.
Yeah, it is dark.
Duh.
Like, it's called contact, so.
Whatever, look.
We're currently out sleuthing for clues,
seeing if we can find anything.
Ava, you seen anything?
No, not yet.
Nothing weird about the dirt?
No.
Hey.
You sure there's nothing
mysterious going on out here
we can tell them about?
You know what?
What?
You getting this?
Oh, oh my God.
What?
Did you hear that?
What?
It's dirt, Mason.
Okay.
Um.
Got the most enthusiasm
we've gotten tonight.
I gotta go take a piss, so.
Look, you can't wander off.
Can you please just go
like right there or something?
Why?
I'm not gonna go dick
out in front of you guys.
Also, he's filming everything.
You can blur it.
Look, it's fine.
I'll just, I'll go behind a tree.
Okay, and don't go far, okay?
Like, like 30 paces max.
Roger that, Captain America.
Fing Christ.
I'm just.
All right, tensions are clearly high.
As we delve deeper
into this infamous forest.
Now, it's important to remember,
there's been many, many,
many strange occurrences
that have happened over here
in the last couple hundred years.
But no matter what happens,
it's inconsequential we
have to humble ourselves
and remember that whatever happens to us,
we're just, we're a speck.
And we're dust in the wind
for the thousands of years
of lineage between trees and wildlife.
Mason?
What?
What is it?
Holy.
Is that what he was wearing in the video?
Sure as hell looks like it.
Yo, yo, get in here.
Come on, come on, get in here.
This is good shit.
You can't touch it.
What the f?
There might be clues.
Look, this is an active crime scene, okay?
Oh my God.
You could get your DNA all over it
and you could serve 25 to life.
25 to life?
What the f?
He's alive.
And who told you that?
I thought you did your research.
I don't know.
Who told you that?
I thought you did your research
before you formed your opinions.
There's fing a million
Reddit threads about it.
Okay, he's fine.
Spoke to him?
Yeah, we got a beer last week.
No, I haven't fing talked to him,
but if you want to know about him,
his fing backpack's right there.
Look, I just don't think it's smart
to get your fing DNA all over it.
You don't think it's smart?
You don't think, what's,
God, you make things so difficult.
Do you know that?
Do you know how difficult you make things?
F.
Guys.
Reed?
Guys, get the fover here.
Holy shit.
F, f.
Reed, Reed, Reed,
Reed, Reed, what the f?
Guys, it happened.
And he took my dick with it.
You asshole.
It's pretty good, right?
What the fis that, man?
Hey, it's called a prank, bitch.
Look, it's not funny, okay?
Oh, come on, guys.
Look, it's kind of.
Look, they can track
you off that shit, okay?
Oh, relax.
Look, I also do signatures, right?
Call it my John Hancock.
So I'm sure by now everybody has heard
about this whole YouTuber
gone missing thing
and seen the debate over it.
And I can't believe that
people are actually believing this
because it is so obviously
another one of his pranks.
And all I need to see in order to know that is who this guy is
because this guy is known for his elaborate dumb-ass pranks.
Like, this is the same dude that dressed up as a dog and put
himself in a dog crate and left that crate outside of a shelter
and they took him in
and they euthanized him.
He was euthanized for 10 minutes before they flipped
him over and realized that he had a zipper on his back.
This is that guy.
Which, honestly, maybe this speaks more about the
animal shelter than it does him, but I don't care.
He's still a fing idiot, too.
The point is, this guy is
known for doing dumb-ass shit.
This is not the first time he has put himself in a dangerous situation and
played some stupid prank like this in order to get views and to get clout.
It's not the first time, and I'm
sure it won't be the last time.
So, I just can't believe that knowing this,
knowing his history, people are still buying this.
And on top of that, if
he's dead, who is this?
What are these?
Where did these come from?
Because these were taken after he died.
How is that possible?
So, yeah.
This is obviously just another one of his elaborate
pranks, and you guys are all falling for it.
And, honestly, I need everybody to
open their eyes and just be smarter.
Okay, you're acting like you
saw his head rolling around.
Basically, I did.
Like, half his red blood cells
are on the floor over there.
Dude, you don't believe that.
Come on.
What was that?
I think it's coming from that way.
Yo, buckle the fup.
I don't really do well with large
animals, Mason, so I'll give you this one.
Sounds good, buddy.
Not so funny anymore, huh?
Good for you?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I've been waiting for this
shit my whole goddamn life.
Reed?
Where'd Kara go?
Well, I don't know.
She was right here, right
before I went to take a piss.
How the fdid you not
notice she wasn't here?
Well, what the f, man?
You've met her.
She's so fing quiet.
Kara!
Hey, hey.
How are you not watching your girlfriend as
we hike through a dark, murderous forest?
F.
Fme, man.
That was prehistoric.
Maybe it was a falcon or something?
Fing falcon.
Try a goddamn pterodactyl.
That's gotta be her.
Kara!
Hey, Reed.
Hey, Reed, Reed.
Kara, where are you?
Hey, we need to stick together.
Let's fing go.
Reed, slow down.
Where are you, man?
Kara?
Did you say something, baby?
Kara?
Yo, is there something she does or what?
God, she's like fing talking backwards.
Is she having a stroke?
I don't know.
I don't know.
What do we do?
I don't know.
I've never seen something like this before.
Kara, honey?
No.
I don't need you.
Oh, okay.
F.
F, I'm the only person she
even spoke to since I got here.
Yeah, me too.
And I was here for an extra three hours.
Reed, why don't you go over there?
I don't know what to do.
She's like fing speaking
in tongues or some shit.
Look, just do something, okay?
F, Jesus Christ.
Is she prone to seizures?
Kara, Kara, baby, it's Reed.
It's Reed.
I'm right here.
You okay?
Yo, yo, yo, guys, guys, this
is the tree from the video.
We're close.
Mason, we're a little busy right now, okay?
Chad, hey, wait, come on this side.
Get it from over here.
Chad, we are deep into the woods,
and we are experiencing what has to be,
all I can assume is a
satanic symbol on the tree.
Same one from the video.
One of our explorers is
experiencing something otherworldly.
We're trying to make out what she's saying.
Okay.
A little slower, a little slower.
Just back up.
This is a little bit more
important right now.
If you guys can decide, okay, okay, okay.
If you guys can decide what she's
saying, comment down in the chat.
Look, we just need to
get her to stop doing this
and maybe take her to a hospital.
I don't...
Kara?
Kara?
Chad, we got movement.
Kara?
Kara, baby?
Hey, hey, hey.
Kara, Kara, Kara.
I let her do that.
Kara, baby, it's...
You scared us, right? Are you back, right?
Come on, just get my little handy warthog.
I, oh, f, I'm gonna hit you.
Hey, we're mobile chat.
I cannot wait to see you
try and explain that shit.
You see the fing logo on the tree?
Same tree from the video.
Same exact one.
Look, I was a little distracted, Mason.
Distracted?
Can you tell me what's going on right now?
What could you possibly be distracted by?
Oh, I don't know, maybe
because she gave herself
a fing concussion.
Yeah, well, some of us are laser focused
on the task at hand.
Right.
Figuring out what the fis going on
in this forest, okay?
What the f?
Holy shit.
It's real.
It's all fing real.
Oh my God, that's him.
Sarah, guys, guys.
Are you okay?
They said he was alive.
We need to go, okay?
Go?
What, you wanna leave?
No, open your eyes, it's happening.
It's happening.
This is it.
Mason, we need to go get the police
and an ambulance for Kara.
No, no, no, no, we're in it.
This is it.
Whatever the f's going on with Kara
means we just need to go further.
This is, we don't wanna leave.
Mason, this isn't a conspiracy
theory anymore, okay?
Look, look, look.
We don't know what else is out there.
This is a crime scene.
We don't know what's
out there, crime scene.
I don't care, but I'm not
gonna be the one to find out,
okay?
We need to let the police handle this.
The police, the police.
You don't think the police
have seen the fing video?
They haven't done shit, okay?
Dad, are you really insane?
Keep going.
Look, you pretend you
wanna be this justice warrior.
Now's your chance.
Get up from behind
the fing phone screen.
This is real life.
And?
You are such an obnoxious prick.
Okay, okay, okay.
We're calling each other fing names now?
We wanna do that?
All right, and you,
you're a B-tier influencer
playing fing journalist
from your high horse.
Oh, you know what?
Sorry, sorry, you're Studio in K-Town.
F.
I am a journalist.
Okay, for sure.
Keep telling yourself that.
God damn it.
You know what?
What?
What, yeah, I'm excited to hear this one.
What?
You're just a Beverly Hills man-child
who turned into a Venice shaman
who found a way to monetize idiocy.
Oh, does that one hurt?
Oh, I can see the gears
turning in real life, oh.
Ratio, bitch.
Ratio?
I got more subscribers than you.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You have monopoly on 12-year-old boys.
You know what?
I bet you're a fing month
away from an OnlyFans.
Fyou.
Just give me the fing keys.
What?
Give me the fing keys.
No.
I'm gonna go get the fing police
and an ambulance for Kara.
What, you're gonna
walk out there by yourself?
Look, I told you this wasn't a good idea.
I'm not letting you, okay?
Are you a psychopath?
Does this not affect you at all?
Look, look, we don't even know
if that's the fing YouTuber, okay?
He makes those, he makes prank videos.
This could be all a fing hoax.
I don't know.
Maybe it's a scarecrow,
scare off the birds.
We don't know anything.
Guys, I'm with Ava.
We gotta go back.
We gotta get Kara to a doctor.
No.
Thank God.
No.
Here, someone come help me lift her up.
Here.
I don't know.
Give her a fing Benadryl.
Here, come on.
Oh, f.
We got you, we got you.
Shh, shh, shh.
We got you.
Here, come on.
Guys, I'm...
One foot after another.
I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna get you.
One foot after another.
Look, I'm sorry.
We clearly picked up
some momentum out here,
found some crazy shit.
We're leaving.
But...
The group doesn't seem to
share my same tenacity, okay?
They're a bunch of cowards.
So...
I don't know, I did my best.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Yo, everybody online's talking about you.
Thank God I'm not the only
one tired of this pussy shit.
Can we please just focus
on getting her to the hospital?
Okay, wow, you're done already?
Done leeching off my followers?
All right, chat, we can
mark that up as round two.
Also me.
Come on, let's see that shit.
What did I actually just watch?
The craziest part isn't even what happened.
It's the fact that
somebody actually kept
the camera rolling. And to be
honest, it reminds me of one of
the biggest internet
controversies we've ever seen.
He is just another misogynistic
loser who has zero self
awareness and zero respect for
anybody around him. We've seen
before how a video like
this could completely derail
someone's whole entire career
overnight and to be honest, it
feels like that all over again.
He is someone who clearly has
never had to face the
consequences of his own actions
and I think it's time that that
changes right now and I can't
lie. I don't think the internet
will ever let something like
this go. His sponsorships
should be taken away. Honestly,
his whole platform should
be revoked. He doesn't deserve
it and it feels like one of
those videos that completely
changes the way the whole
entire internet looks at you as
a person. He is a sick
and he needs to be held
accountable. Okay. Well, I
mean that was that was a load of.
What are we doing? I
don't what are we supposed to do
just to ignore when we actually
find evidence and stuff in the
woods. Why are they pissed?
Why I don't understand what the
read your stand up right?
You guys say up all the
time and make people mad.
How do I fix this? I don't know man
but I I told a really up
Michael J Fox joke one time
people got pissed but I I don't
know. I don't know how to get
uncancelled. Okay. Whoa.
Okay. Don't throw that word
around. We do not need that
flying around. It's not even my
followers anyway. It's it's
your guys followers. I should
never. Where the are we?
That's that's super helpful as
if any of us know the answer to
that question. None of us have
connection. How would we know
where the we are? Okay. I
mean I got this thing but
like 2026. Is that a map?
Yeah, it's a map. What? You
know how to read a map? No one
knows how to read a map.
map this whole time.
Yeah, it's I don't know. It's
part of the the get up. Give
me that Hold on. Let me
show you how to do this. God
damn. It's huge. Okay, maybe
there's hope, right? No. Okay.
No, stop. Stop turning it. It's
upside down. No, you made
it upside down. East, right?
So, we have to go over there.
So, that's south, okay? Do
do the wet finger thing, right?
The wet finger thing. Oh
my . It's the wet finger
thing. Ever gone outside? What
is that gonna? What does that
have to do with north?
Alright, never eat soggy
waffles. Never. Wait. There's a
there's a key too. We could use
that. Okay, there's there's red
lines and there's there's blue
lines and.
I don't know. We're gonna die.
Guys, help me. Oh my god. So
dramatic. Are you okay? What's
happening?
Oh my god.
Oh That's my knife.
That's that's my knife.
I don't know what to do. Hey,
hey, hey, hey, no, we can talk
about this. I was just kidding
about the dramatic thing. That
was like, that was appropriate.
Actually, I think give it the
okay. Okay. Yeah, no problem.
No problem. Yeah. Okay. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
don't do that. Don't do that. Come on.
Oh my god.
Oh no, no.
What the f?
Oh my god.
Oh, what the f?
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
What, what?
Oh.
Breathe, breathe.
Okay, fthat, come on, come on, come on.
Let's go, let's go, come on.
Go, go, come on.
This way, this way, no, no, no.
Come on, come on.
She's fing
auto masochistic.
What?
Why does everything have
to do with sex with you?
Because everything has to do
with sex.
Go, go, go.
Okay, let's hide behind this tree.
Shit, shit, shit.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Yo, what are you doing?
Turn that fing light off.
Really? You thought those two
fing sticks were going to hide you?
Come on.
You're out.
Oh my God, we have service.
Oh my God.
Are we live?
How many viewers?
What's up?
Who are you calling?
We're live.
That's not calling.
Look, please.
Please.
Okay.
If you are watching,
please call the police.
We heard St. Angelo's,
but she's gone fing crazy.
Look, this isn't a fing prank.
This isn't a fing...
Did you hear his growls?
He's still out there.
He's still alive.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
It's from that way.
Please help.
Hey, we gotta go get him.
Fme.
We gotta go get him.
Come on.
Listen, fReed.
I don't know why they're even going here.
This is so absurd.
They could be making Reed into a fing
pair of boots or a stew or something.
Reed could have been the best man
at my wedding, and you know what?
FReed, because I am not walking
out into the distance like these two are,
not knowing what's
out there waiting for me,
especially after this bitch just
cut her entire fing face off.
Hell no.
You gotta get the fout of there.
Reed is completely and totally on his own.
No fing way.
What the f?
Okay.
Okay, come on.
That's it?
That's the place?
Okay, we can't go through the front, maybe?
Okay, I'm in.
Okay, I'm in.
Shit.
Shit.
I think there's another
entrance in the back.
What?
Just follow me, okay?
Okay, okay, okay.
Turn your flashlight off.
I don't know what I was gonna do.
This fing thing.
Just leave it to me.
Okay, I got it, I got it.
F.
Come on.
Wait, slow down.
Slow, slow, slow.
Okay, okay.
Oh, shit, oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
What the fwas that?
Shit, shit.
Okay.
I got it.
Let go.
Give it to me.
Let go.
Give it to me.
No.
Do you think he saw us?
That guy was fing giant.
Look at the lights.
Shut up.
We have to go towards the back.
Those are the same lights from the video.
Just follow me.
Okay.
Okay.
What the hell are you?
Shh.
Shh.
That girl would be so pleased.
Don't do this to me.
Please.
It's okay.
It's okay.
She'll heal you.
Please.
You sweet, sweet boy.
Please.
Go, go.
Hurry, hurry.
Oh, f.
Oh, shit.
Go, go, go.
Go, go, go, come on, come on.
Oh, shit.
Go, go, go.
Hey, over here, over here.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on.
I don't know,
I don't know.
I don't recognize any of the spirit.
I don't recognize any of this shit.
Somebody just fing enjoy this.
Oh my god.
Oh shit!
Oh no, don't, no, get off me.
Get off me, get off me.
Go.
Go, go, come on.
Come on, come on.
F.
Go, look in there.
In there, in there.
Go, go, go.
Come on.
Go, go.
Go, go.
Come on.
Oh shit.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Hey.
Hey, listen, we're going to...
We're going to fing die here.
I have never done DMor mushrooms or anything.
Shit.
Okay, yeah, she all
scares the fout of me.
No, I know I've done a million videos.
Racist estrogen or
whatever in a good way, but...
I'm just...
I'm a fing fraud.
Okay, I'm a fraud.
Fing fraud.
Yeah.
I didn't have, like, friends.
Growing up.
Like, at all.
I don't know why that happened.
I moved to LA and got invited to join the Lit
House from those stupid fing musical. Ly videos.
I'm sorry.
And give a fthe whole to put gun dick out on
the Instagram just for the first time in my life
I had friends I had
somebody I could fing talk to
And of course my views drop on three
videos and nobody wants to shoot me anymore.
Some fing friends, right?
Just fing kick me out
Thought that was it.
Pack my shit up and go
back to my fing hometown
I
Posted the red pill man is fear video.
Okay, right back. I loved it. I was hot.
I
Fought for the same shit just leaned into it.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, these are these are my friends
yeah, you guys think think I'm
cool as my it's my community and.
Here I am.
So fing alone so so desperate
to be to be good enough that I'm in a
Trap house with poison ivy or
naked fing plant creature people
The closer we get to dying
the more fing viewers we get
They don't give a fabout us
But it does.
I
Was eight my
dad left my mom and.
I tried to get in contact with him a
lot, but he never responded to me.
So when I was 18, I I went on some
sketchy website. I found some address.
They drove there all that night and.
When I got there I found him.
Family.
And I felt like.
The worst life that anyone ever lived I.
Drove home and I never told my mom and I never even told my
friends because I thought they would think I was fing weirdo
And when I got into
the true crime stuff, I I.
Guess it just reminded me that I.
Didn't have.
The shit is like many winners ever lived.
And I um, I know you don't.
Think I'm like a journalist or whatever but.
I
Guess I just hope that.
What I do does something
like that for someone else.
Can't tell you secret.
I
Watched every single one of your videos.
Great.
And.
For what it's worth I think I
think you are a hell of a journalist
better than whatever
the hell this and I do and.
Yeah, but it does help people so.
I
Think maybe we could be friends.
Mason!
Ava!
Stop!
Don't hurt her!
I can't do that!
Mason, run!
Mother Nature needs her thirst quenched!
Please.
This is almost too risky.
Who's in the chat?
We are in complete starvist.
Get out of here!
Save yourselves!
Look, I'm not leaving
here without you, okay?
How honorable.
My family's been called
many things over the years.
Oh, please.
Do you have plans for me, my darling?
No, no, no, no, no.
Take me instead!
Mason, no.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Mason.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can get your big, hungry tree fs.
I got way more flesh on me!
Take me!
Not her.
You're willing to sacrifice
yourself to Mother?
I just can't lose my friend.
So be it.
I'll be back.
Mason, run!
Save yourself!
Get the fout of here, Ava.
They were going to find me anyway, okay?
Mother will be so pleased with you.
Will it be quick?
No.
Mason!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
There is absolutely no fing way.
Are you seriously
going to end it like that?
Did we just watch a man get eaten?
This might be the craziest
cliffhanger I've ever been left on.
After everything Mason went through
to protect Ava, what just happened?
So they're making your
friend into a meat puppet.
Did Mason just get eaten?
Playing jump rope with his intestines.
We watch Mason literally
risk everything to save her.
And then it just cuts to black.
There's dirt.
Personally, I don't think this has ever had
anything to do with Ava actually surviving.
Get a big fing stick.
It feels like there's a much
bigger plan behind the scenes.
Grab a rock.
And somehow Ava ended
up right in the middle of it.
Why was this like so romantic?
You're gonna die.
Like I know that they were talking about being
friends and everything, but honestly nothing
bonds people like trauma.
Smash one of those ugly
creatures in the fing face.
I don't know what to think.
I don't know what to believe.
I don't.
Oh my god, it's back.
Oh my god.
Rise and shine.
Good morning.
Silence!
Manners, please.
Once a year, we must give
Mother someone special.
Someone whose greed
exceeds their devotion to her gifts.
Someone who has fallen so far from grace.
There's no path home.
But someone whose inner
strength illustrates potential.
I used to be like you, Ava.
In my past.
My past life, broken.
I grew up in the foster system.
Bouncing between houses that weren't homes.
No family, no blood.
I used to think that
peace lived in a pill bottle.
Until they found me.
And everything changed.
They offered me a body.
Mother's nectar.
It was like my eyes
opened for the first time.
Everything before that was chemical.
But this
was pure.
Shh.
And so I gave myself to her.
To them.
My true family.
I became a soldier for my elders.
They saw the divinity that I
was too blind to see in myself.
So I offered myself to her.
Willingly.
In the hopes that she
would grant me new life.
She did.
Many are
are
nothing but nourishment.
Shh.
For her.
And a snack for us.
Mmm.
Let the select few
receive eternal life.
And I choose you, Ava.
She chooses you to join us.
Your strength is admirable
and we need more soldiers.
Let me go!
Shh.
She's already delivered for you.
Giving you what you've always wanted.
Now it's your turn to deliver for her.
Let me fing go, please!
I want you to look at them in fear.
And show them all the eyes of
someone who sits humbled in her strength.
Admit that you are nothing
but a puppet for worldly items.
But now
you are royalty.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No!
Now smile for the fans at home.
Oh, no, no, no!
Do you think it's real?
Only one way to find out.
AVAILABLE NOW
When was the last time you saw him?
I mean, he wasn't at
the last few blood raves.
Maybe it is true.
I'm not buying it.
I mean, I saw the blood
bag in Reed's stomach.
They can fool the normies,
but they can't fool us.
I knew he was talking to other girls.
I don't know, I have a
bad feeling about this.
It'll be fine.
Oh my god, my ear is bleeding.
Don't be dramatic, Monce.
I mean it.
We're almost there anyway.
Lowey?
I have Pilates at 8 a.m. tomorrow.
Lowey?
Oh my God, what?
Now.
Ahhhh!
Oh my God.
Ahhhh!