What We Do Is Secret (2007) Movie Script

okay, kids.
You know, let's cut through
The snivelling,
self-Serving, you know,
Lame, cunt bullshit,
and let's cut through
All the fucking punk
politicking, huh?
Okay, this is
kickboy face
Reporting for
"slash" magazine.
It's 1979, and clearly,
Darby crash's band,
"the germs",
Have emerged as
the most unpredictable,
The most chaotic, and
the least understood band
In the whole los angeles
punk rock scene.
Ah, now, darby... i
have so many questions,
But let's start with this
Everybody around you
is now wearing these
blue circle armbands.
Now, what is this
fascination with circles?
everything works
in circles.
Like, sometimes, you're
doing something, and...
A year later, you're
back at the same point.
You understand that?
So, circle one, is what
we're doing right now.
Someday, we'll probably
do circle two.
now, somebody said
you're fascists?
yeah, we're fascists,
but we're not nazis.
And there's
a difference, you know?
Like, i can respect hitler
for being a genius, but...
Not for killing off all
those innocent people.
Somebody get me a beer.
A beer, goddamn it!
Somebody get me a beer.
I mean, there's
films of him giving
speeches in germany,
And americans
in the audience,
They would start
yelling "heil!"
Even though they
couldn't even understand
What he was
talking about. Huh.
Whoever out there
thinks it's cool to spit
Better buy me a beer.
Why don't you
get your fucking
teeth fixed?
Why don't you get
your brain fixed?
fuck you!
All i want is beer,
And damage.
Personal damage.
Well, everybody's
talking about politics
And what's going
to work and what's
not going to work,
But none of it's
going to work.
It's why you have
to throw it all away
and start over.
There's other
ways of doing it
Without overthrowing
the government all at once.
I mean, you can work
from the inside,
And slowly take over, and
then throw it all away.
But, i just think it's
stupid to relate...
Performing to politics.
'Cause it's never
been political to me.
And there's all these bands
that came out and said,
"We have to political
like the 'sex pistols',"
And... that's
not what we did.
We've tried every
form of government,
But the only one
that will work
Is a complete
fascist state.
But you have to have the
right person to lead it
'Cause if everyone
believes in one person,
Then it'll work.
Communism? Communism
can never work.
so who would be your
ideal fascist leader?
so, pat, what was
darby's childhood like?
you've got to understand,
He never knew
his real dad.
And his mom had
a lot of boyfriends.
he talked a lot about
this guy, bob baker,
Said they had
fun together.
I think he had a heart
attack or something.
His mom was like
a character out of
a john waters film.
Drunk all the time,
Screamed at him.
Just like my mom.
his older brother
died, too.
He was killed by some
pissed-Off dope dealer.
Gave him an
intentional overdose.
He had a lot of bad
stuff happen to him.
"It is time for man
to mark his goal.
It's time for man
to plant the germ..."you little shit.
What did
i tell you?
"Of his highest hope..."
"Life is a will to power."
so would you call
him brilliant?
Frighteningly intelligent.
There was this whole
little gang of us,
And i was like,
the head person.
We'd do stuff like carry
around "helter skelter"
And put "x"s on our heads,
And the rest of
the school would
get really scared,
And wanted to have
us committed. Huh.
And inserting that
type of individual
Into a classroom
environment was very...
I wanted to know
what it was like
To be the only black kid
in a white school. Huh.
So i dyed my hair blue.
And i lost all
my friends in one day.
I guess there
was a few people out
there who were like me
That saw things
But when you do
something like that,
You have to expect
a reaction.
But, we resolved it,
The best way
we knew how.
Gave him all "a"s
If he promised
never to come back.
Of course,
he hung out anyway.
Then i remember, one
day, he came by and...
Said we were going
to start a band,
And i was, like, "what?"
How are we going
to start a band
If we don't even
have instruments?
The same way
"the runaways" did.
They just did it.
Only we're going
to do it better.
Here, read
my songs.
Oh my god.
These are awesome!
I have a five-Year plan.
For me.
For us.
I mean, he said he had
this five-Year plan
And that...
That after that,
it'd be all over with.
But he said crazy things
like that all the time.
so, what is this
five-Year plan?
Well, it's like
bowie said
"You got five years."
And then what?
You'll see.
So we made a flyer
that said "wanted
2 untalented girls
who don't know how
to play their instruments
To form a band."
And that's how we found
terry and belinda...
And becky.
Bored girls
from the valley
Who came to hollywood
to dirty up.
Then, darby made becky
tell her grandmother
That she had leukemia.
And that she needed
money for treatment.
What an asshole.
And that's how we bought
all of our instruments.
Darby decided we'd call
ourselves "the germs"...
Because everything
starts with a germ.
Something about
the germ of an idea.
We were supposed to be
"sophistifuck and the
revlon spam queens"
But... we
couldn't afford
That many letters
on our t-Shirt.
Maybe it's because
we played so bad,
We made everyone sick.
this is kickboy face,
Reporting for
"slash" magazine.
It's 1977, and
the sunset strip
Now belongs to
shitty, boring
piece of shit disco
And horrifying
lame cunt rock
and roll bands.
I believe the future
belongs to bands
Such as you,
"the damned".
I want too fuck
as many of your
women as possible.
"the germs!"
"The germs" are
the best band
in the world!
Yes, yes,
but at a time
When leif
fucking garrett
And donna
fucking summer
Are at the top of
the music charts,
You must have
something to say
About the piece
of shit music
today, no?
Fuck, fuck,
fuck, shit.
Piss off, wanker.
"The germs" rule!
You suck.
you have nothing
more to say
About the pathetic
state of american
music today?
Thank you,
What is this fucking
"germs", man?
It's my band.
Here, check it out.
"Sex boy"?
We have other
songs, too.
Then what the fuck
are you waiting for?
You should
play tonight
at the orpheum.
Anybody can play.
Go, go, come on!
Come on, guys.
I think you plug
this in here...
i can't even
play this thing.
It doesn't
matter, 'cause
you look perfect.
hello, sex boys.
Oh my god, look.
oh fuck...
They're going to
abuse the shit
out of us.
I can't do this.
You're already
doing it, terry!
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
Is that a taco?
Ugh, go away,
it's not funny.
This is what
you wanted!
This is what
i wanted?
that i can
of a superman
that's as deadly as life
Get off the stage,
you silly pooftahs!
art fags!
Fuck you!
is the same wet dream
are on my scene
that's not punk!
You guys suck!
go fucking
suck a cock!
Oh my god.
fucking faggot!
Lemme go, you
fucking homos!
Give the lil' git
the boot!
Oh my god,
that was
so much fun!
I thought i was
going to puke
But i didn't!
I did puke!But you did it.
I want to play
again right now!
We will.
Hey! That was
really hysterical.
When's you guys'
next show?
Uh, probably never!
I'm michelle.
Hey. Pat.
okay, so this
was his plan.
Say you're a band,
Get band members,
get instruments,
Get a rehearsal space,
Play a gig,
And then learn
how to play.
It's a good plan, right?
okay. Forming, take one.
hold me up
i'm your gun
i am bigger than...
his big white house
we're coming out
we're numbing your minds
we've done time
hold me up
i'm your gun
i am bigger than...
the queen she says
dry those tears
now it's time to
reinvent ourselves
As something
completely new.
Are we going to
learn how to play
our instruments?
Paul's dead.
From now on,
i'm bobby pyn.
I don't get it.
Bobby pyn, like,
a bobby pin.
George's new name
is pat smear.
Oh, yeah.
Ugh, that's
so gross!
It's good, right? Yeah.
terry, you have
the coolest name.
Your new name
is lorna doom.
Oh my god. That
is really good.
Uh, becky,
you're dumbhead.
Stop! I want to come
up with my own name.
what's yours?
I don't need a name.
I'm not going to be
in the band.
I actually never
joined the band. Uh...
The thought of
being on stage
In front of all
those people
Was way too terrifying.
hold me up
i'm your gun
Ugh, it's sand!
This has to be
perfect, lorna.
Yeah, it's perfect. I said
it's going to be perfect,
So it's going
to be perfect.
i'm your gun
i am bigger than...
"Lexicon devil"
by darby crash?
Darby crash,
that's him.
darby crash.
"Empty out
your pockets,
You don't need
the change.
I'm giving you the
power to rearrange.
Together, we'll run
to the highest prop,
Tear it down,
and let it drop."
Darby crash
is a genius.
you're playing
it all wrong.
Drums are too slow.
Bass is too fast.
Chords are all wrong.
You're making
the ending too long.
I quit.
First of all,
that was so good!
Secondly, i think
he just quit.
i did quit, for a week.
We weren't
a joke anymore
And our drummer
couldn't be either.
so, the germs had
a drummer thing.
Always a fucking
drummer thing.
The fucking drummer thing.
"What do you mean,
uh, a drummer thing?"
With becky,
it was just...
Okay, you know...
Well, you know
how darby is.
What an asshole.
our next drummer
was cliff hanger
Who was quietly dealing
out in the parking
lot at the rainbow.
But he went to jail.
I heard he got
his dick cut off.
Then we got
d.J. Bonebreak,
But he was also
an "x", and "the eyes"
And darby said our
drummer had to be
loyal to "the germs".
We had the same problem
with nicky beat,
Because he was also
in "the weirdos".
Fucking drummers.
Jeez, chris ashford
was our first manager.
He worked at a record store
called liquorice pizza,
And we were always
going in there...
Stealing stuff.
Darby would hand out
his lyric sheets,
And when chris
read them, well...
He just knew.
knew what?
That he had to
be a part of it.
Oh shit.Oh!
chris took the tape,
And got a single pressed.
The first punk-Rock
single in l.A. History.
He put the label
on the wrong side
And we gave him
a tonne of shit.
Watch out, chris!
but he stuck by us.
Chris took us
to the masque,
A storage space
under a porno theatre
On hollywood boulevard.
Some guy named
brendan mullen
cleared it out
And started charging
people to rehearse there
And it just sort of turned
into a club somehow.
Oh man!
Do you guys have to
destroy everything?
You do not want
to be on this
guy's bad side.
Yeah, what makes
you think so?
Because you're not
"fleetwood mac", okay?
And you're not
"the bee gees".
You're not going to get
gigs just anywhere.
Except maybe here.
Yeah, and then
you woke up.
I'm going to
talk to brendan.
Oh, and darby?
Try not to get into
any trouble, okay?
Sure thing, dad.
"screamers" rule!
We stole this song
from "the germs"
Because we like it
And because we do it
better than them.
It's called "sex boy".
It's "sex boy"!
it anywhere
of a superman
that's as deadly as life
of a master guy
Personally, i like
our version better.
it's the same regime
on my scene
Don bolles.
I'm your new drummer.
I don't book bands
at the masque.
It's not a club.
It's a cooperative
art environment
For alternative
That's how
you spell it.
As in poe's "masque
of the red death"?
Even though,
of course,
Punk has nothing
to do with poe.
nobody ever understood
what the guy said.
We always said
he should have, like,
Words underneath him
like in one of
those foreign films.
Right, so anyway,
This is either the best
Or the worst thing
that i've ever heard.
But i had to pack up
the car and drive right
out to be in the band.
Drive out?
From arizona. You drove out
All the way
from arizona?
That's weird. Huh.
Well, i could tell you guys
like the same stuff i like.
I mean, krautrock.
Oh, like
that's real music.
What do you think?
I don't know,
don't ask me.
Pretty damn brilliant,
if i do say so myself.
I mean, he did drive
out from arizona.
And that counts
for something.
Okay, don.
You're a germ.
Now cut your hair,
you krautrock hippie.
"The germs".
Hey, brendan,
Because of that show
at the orpheum,
They're getting
a reputation.
Man, you could
even charge people
A couple bucks
to watch them play.
Man, the lead singer,
he's brilliant.
He's like a jim morrison
but for our generation.
Oh my god,
you guys.
There's two people
fucking over there.
ew, gross.
Right there.
Wait, they're
over there!
It kind of smells
like butter.
I'm darby crash.
Yeah, yeah,
i know who you are.
let's fuck up
these art fags.
They ruined
my song.
Yeah. Yeah,
let's do that.
Not a scratch,
man. Promise.
Hey, don't touch me,
you fucking jerk!
Hey, leave him alone!
He's just having fun.
That was
awesome, dude.
Wow. Where'd
you get that?
I fucking nabbed it off
the back of some poseur.
It's for you.
I... i'm rob.
Let's get
out of here.
"slash" wouldn't
print our ad.
It said, "six million
jews can't be wrong."
And there was no picture,
just a circle.
our family is a circle.
And it will be, forever.
so it was an
anti-Hitler thing?
No. It can be
taken either way.
I've talked to
jewish people who
would get really upset
Because you can't really
figure out what it means.
and if you find yourself
in our circle...
But we don't want
to be associated
With the whole
nazi thing, anyway.
...then you are
inside the circle.
We're not doing it
on that big of a scale.
Just, like in our
circle of friends.
it's easy to be an
artistic fascist.
All you have to do is
to commit to a certain
thing and then you...
No. It's not like that.
It's not
like that at all.
I have a very,
very set idea
Of what i want
to get done
And how i'm
going to do it,
And i need people
who can help me do it.
h-How are you
going to get
Those fucking
They'll show up.
They always have before.
for some reason,
If you find yourself
outside the circle...
Then you're out
for good...
But you, lorna...
Are the
most inside.
Ow! What
the fuck?
It's a germs' burn.
A circle.
Stings, huh?
Ow, that stings
really fucking bad.
Listen, someday,
when you're old,
Like... 40,
You'll be paying
for groceries at
a grocery store
And you'll see
somebody that has one
And you'll know.
Know what?
That they were
a part of it too.
That really
fucking hurt, darby.
into paste...
You fucking sell-Out!
What is this?
Fuck you, capitalist!
My god. What's next,
a concession stand?
Ready, aim, fire.
this ri-I-Ide
Everyone here
came to see them.
What are you
going to do?
Refund everyone's
in my eyes
circle of lives
tame sort of world...
we love
you, darby!
let's go!
with a battered brain
for a future
gimme your hands
gimme your minds
gimme your hands
gimme your minds
that drip old blood
established joke a shove
on this rancid mill
your hands
your minds
your hands
your minds
Hey, gimme me a
dollar for beer.
prick. What
the fuck, dude?
He's pretty
cute, huh?
Pretty cute.
Hey, give me five
dollars for beer.
Why? Are you
into him?
No. Are you?
Fuck, dude.
Now, what are you
talking about?
so, what did you
think of rob?
Oh, that little shit?
I didn't like him
from the beginning.
I mean, i thought
he was cute.
I mean, we all did.
I guess i just
don't like to share.
Hey, we're thirsty.
Give me some
money for beer.
Okay, so
what now?
We see how
he acts around
you, too.
He digs you.
Now my ride
fully bailed.
There's no way
i'm getting
south tonight.
Darby, think i
can crash at your
place tonight?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Yeah? Sure.
So where're
your parents?
My mom works
at a restaurant
at l.A.X.
My dad...
He's, uh, gone.
Is he dead?Mmm-Hmm.
Fuck. I wish my
dad was dead.
Why's that?
I don't want
to talk about it.
Let's look
at that cut.
Oh fuck, man.
That's gnarly.
I don't
think you need
stitches, though.
Man, uh...
Why don't you let
me clean it out?
Do you have some
band-Aids and shit?
Uh, sure...
Hey, darby, are
these your songs?
Yeah. Some of 'em.
"I came into this world
like a puzzled panther
Awaiting to be caged.
But something
stood in the way,
I was never quite tamed.
I crossed the paths
of right and wrong,
And i saw them
take their toll.
I saw armies
that marched
And like animals
they crawled.
Evolution is
a process too slow
to save my soul
But i've got this
creature on my back
And it just
won't let go."
I've never read
anything like
this before.
What... what
the fuck?
What? What?
Uh... i don't know.
It's just weird,
you know? Like...
No, it's...
It's just relative.
Yeah, well, that...
That doesn't
make it un-Weird.
Forget it.
Look... look man,
i'm sorry. I just...
Don't worry about
it. Just... just...
Forget it.
You're still
You're right.
Get some sleep.
I don't want
you to hate me.
there's 43
Of your "closest
personal friends"
On this
guest list.
I'll never make
back my nuts.
Well, that's
who i want.
But it's not
even a real list!
You put
david bowie on here!
I'm taking him off.
Wait, hey,
he's our biggest
fan, okay?
I sent him a letter
telling him so
And he believed us.
If he's not
on the list,
i won't play.
Put him back.
You lads have completely
lost your minds.
Okay, fine.
Bowie can stay.
What the hell
do i care?
I just put
david bowie
Back on your
bloody guest list.
Well, why don't
we put people on
the guest list
Who are, like,
actually going
to show up?
That's exactly what
i'm talking about!
Bowie stays
on the list.
And everybody else
stays on the list,
Or "the germs"
won't play.
Come on, robbie.
Oh, hey, darby.
I was thinking that
we could do that song
I was telling you about
"You make me feel
like manson."
Why don't you just
play "the germs"
songs, donald?
Well, i'm not
talking to you.
Yeah, well, i am
talking to you.
You're in the
coolest fucking
band in l.A., Dude.
You're lucky.
Why are you
even thinking
about playing
Other bands'
songs, man?
Just play
darby's songs.
This is between
me and darby.
You're in
"the germs", don.
If that's not
good enough,
You can find
another band.
how do you know
what you're doing?
It's not fucking
brain surgery.
Come on, darby. Open up.
I want to talk about this.
Bathroom's closed.
Shit in the street,
cactus head!
come on out.Fucking don.
I'm ready.
Give us some....
give us some change.
got change right
here, motherfucker.
In small enough
come on, man!
If somebody
throws us any beer,
Make sure it's
in a bottle.
why don't you get your
fucking teeth fixed?
Why don't you get
your brain fixed?
Because all i want...
Is beer
and damage.
I want personal damage.
streets aren't clear
but we can't hear
driving us mad
driving us mad
driving us mad
driving us mad
we must bleed
the bottle breaks
through my veins
making me sane
making me sane
making me sane
making me sane
fuck you, dude.
Party's over
with, asshole. You're
out of here!
They're kicking us out!
Everybody cause damage
And burn this place
to the ground!
here he is.
Hey, pat.
Oh, wow.
They fucked you up!
Are you okay?
Where's my guitar?
Where's my guitar?
Oh, he fucking
stole it.
Don't worry about
your guitar.
The world is
full of guitars.
There's only
one pat smear.
Are you all right?
So i just borrow
guitars now.
every time
you play?
Why? You want
to buy me one?
All right,
here we go.
All right,
"gidget goes to hell"
On kroq, pasadena.
This is rodney on the roq
and i'm thrilled,
And... a little
nervous, huh,
To be sitting here
with the most
notorious band
In the l.A.
Punk scene...
"The germs".
That's us.
What do you guys play?
Well, i play
hard to get.
All right.
Well, what's your name?
My name's ben wobbles.
You changed
your name?
Yeah, we all did.
yeah, uh, um,
Mr. Bingenheimer,
i'm, uh...
Don summers.
I'm lorna lisa.Mm-Hmm.
Yeah, and
i'm art damage.
No more pat smear?
Are you
Oh, and my name is, uh...
All right.
Um, you know,
when i told people
You guys were
coming to the studio
They almost fainted.
Are you really
as... wild
As... yeah we have our
axes in the car
And we can get
them if you want.
That's okay.
So wh-When can we see
you guys play again?
Well, we are
playing tonight.
We're, uh, playing at...
All night long.
Oh, uh, probably never.
Nobody wants to book us.
And all the
club owners
Think we're going to
destroy their clubs.
Well, sounds like you
need a good manager.
Oh, well,
that's a good idea.
Uh, attention,
If anyone wants
to be our manager,
Please bring
a case of beer
Down to the studio
Yeah, yeah, bring
some food too.
And a veggie burger.
Oh, and hard drugs.Yeah,
So that's, uh, food
and a tab for rodney,
And hard drugs
for us!
And little boys for me.
Yeah, breaded
and pan-Fried
With really big...
Wow... okay.
Um... hey, let's
take some calls.
You're on
rodney on the roq
with "the germs".
Punk rockers suck my dick!
thank you, okay.
Next caller. Huh.
Um... hello?
you guys are
really obnoxious.
Well, another
satisfied customer.
You don't have to be
obnoxious to be punk.
"The plugz" aren't obnoxious.
Yeah, well, they're
not punk either.
fuck off!
i actually, um...
punk rockers suck
ten-Inch cock!
Oh, you wish, faggot.
D... don't.
You're on
rodney on the roq
With "the germs".
Who's this?
i want to talk to pat.
Ahh, well, i don't
want to talk to you.
Oh, it's that girl
with the flat chest.
I don't have a flat chest. Yeah, you do,
I fucked you last night.
Twice tomorrow.
Can you say that
word on the radio?
Uh, actually, no.
Um, the fg...
Fcc, um...
You know, the
communications people,
You can't...they said "fuck"
on "the brady bunch".
Um, no, it's the license...
They'll... the government'll
take it away from us.
Didn't they say
the "c" word on
"gilligan's island"?
Wait, don't,
don't, don't...
Right, darby?The "c" word?
The "c" word, on
"gilligan's island".
Don't say it,
please don't.
Oh, cunt?
They said "cunt" on
"gilligan's island"?
No way.
God, no.
take another call.
i'd like a cunt.
Don't, don't.
let's take another
caller, rodney.
i was born
from a cunt.
Can you cut!
Well, the bands that
we're all supposed to hate
Like... "the who"
and the stones
And people like that,
I mean, they went out and
they lived on the streets,
And did everything
they could to make it.
But all the people that
live at the canterbury,
They work at
fiorucci's because...
They know they might
not make it as a band.
None of them are willing
to take the chance
That they're going to be 35
and have done nothing.
None of us work
Because if we don't
make it at this...
We know we're not going
to make it at anything.
We're not going to have
any money to pay our rent.
i'm gonna have to phone her
i'm gonna have to bone 'er
Hitler used
to have his
Make two models
of the same
One to see
what it would
look like
When it was
being built,
And the other
after it was
That's trippy.
We're going to
make an album.
A full-Length album.
An album?Mm-Hmm.
Record companies
don't want us.
They want disco.
Then we'll
make it ourselves.
And we'll have
"slash magazine" put
up the money for it.
Did biggs say
he'd do it?
He will.
"The germs" have
decided to do
their album
On slash records.
Slash records?
Slash records
doesn't even exist.
We want bowie to produce.
That is a fucking
great idea!
Or mark lindsay.
Mark lindsay?
From "paul revere
and the raiders"?
That guy makes more
money in an hour
Than i'll see
in a lifetime.
Why don't we
just produce it
ourselves, you guys?
Shut up,
cactus head.
Hey, what about
roy thomas baker?
We want either bowie,
Lindsay, or
roy thomas baker
Or we're not
going to do it.
Look. I'm, like, a huge
"germs" fan, all right?
So i'm just going to
be honest with you.
Yeah, i'm thinking of
starting a record label.
But if i do,
i'd do an album with "x".
Why "x"?
Oh, i don't know,
because they have
real songs.
real songs?
Bob, you sound
exactly like
The fat pig
record company
conglomerate fucks!
Fuck that
Oh, yeah. Fuck everything
until next week
When i have to cut
your paycheque.
Yeah, then you'll love
the fact that i dumped
All our money
down the drain
On an album that
won't make any money.
What about
joan jett?
She's famous.
Joan jett?
Hello, is anybody
here listening to
what i'm saying?
This simply isn't
going to happen.
i can stomp and swagger
of your hero-Oh-Oes
i'm young and haggard
nobody oh-Oh-Owns
like a child despised
comes over his eyes
richie dagger's crime
was never much loved
was society's grudge
richie dagger's crime
weren't quite the best
richie dagger's crime
and spit me out
i can stomp and swagger
of your hero-Oh-Oes
i'm young and haggard
nobody oh-Oh-Owns
your mind ablaze
and visionary gaze
from an outbreak past
and boy was he sass
i can stomp and swagger
of your hero-Oh-Oes
i'm young and haggard
nobody oh-Oh-Owns
That take
sounds awesome.
I still think don's
drums are too slow.
Fuck off,
I played it the way
we always play it.
Have you been
to the fleetwood?
The new bands play
louder, harder, faster.
Yeah, well,
that's because
they're cheating.
They play
polka beats!
They suck!
I don't know.
What do you
think, darby?
Maybe we should have
don re-Do the drums.
Well, i guess
i know who's wearing
The pink hanky
in this family.
Shut the fuck up, don.
Was i playing
too slow?
No, you were
Theatre of
the absurd.
Uh, d... don was
right on.
I mean... i know whether or
not it was right!
We're doing it again.
Okay. We'll
do it again.
from the moment
i first saw "the germs"
I said to myself,
You've got to make an
album with these guys."
ah? Ha-Ha.
yeah, i was
there. I heard it.
All right, now
that it's done...
I've got to tell you.
I'm more proud of this
Than anything i've ever
done in my entire life!
that's not
saying much!
hold on, hold on.
I've got a review here
by richard meltzer.
This is coming out in
the "l.A. Times" tomorrow.
"This valuable
piece of vinyl
The album
of the year,
The most staggering
recorded statement so far
From the american
branch of new wave...
The most remarkable
l.A. Studio achievement
At least since
'the doors' 'l.A. Woman'!"
I hate "the doors".
They suck.
all right, you guys.
Come on,
There's food.
There's beer.
Everyone, eat up.
Drink up.
It's a party, enjoy
yourselves, come on.
near beer? Fuck that!
Come on, you
cheap motherfucker.
You could have at
least bought them
Some real
fucking beer.
And encourage
these people to stick
around and get drunk?
What are you, mad?
I fear so, yes.
My mother was mad.
My grandfather,
my great-Grandfather.
But you know, it's
all in the family.
It's okay, it's
uh... you know,
it's regular mad.
It's not crazy-Mad,
but it's... nearly mad.
Explain the
Slash didn't
buy food?
This is the worst
thing i've ever seen.
Yeah, well, they're
practically broke
And they only have,
like, 37 cents in
their account. So...
Well, i can buy
you food, darby.
And beer,
and hard drugs.
Sure, darby.
Anything else?
that's when
the march started.
what fucking
The march of
the creeps.
He grew up with a very...
Narrow world view.
And i'm opening up
his mind.
I took him to the opera,
which... i hated,
But he loved.
Fuck amber. She buys
whatever he wants.
Most of it with
bad cheques.
we'll go to stores,
And they'll see her coming
and they'll lock the door.
I bought him
a huge $750 thesaurus
Because he loves
words so much.
Ugh, fucking gross.
She's a sociopath.
And a bitch.
Gimme an oki-Dog,
Get robbie one, too.
Ooh, yeah.
gimme, gimme.
Who else wants
an oki-Dog?
Oh, me and jena.
Yeah, oki-Dog,
Hold the cat.
Lorna? Michelle?
Two each.
two each.
Yeah.Two each.
Amber, none of us
have any money
And we're all hungry,
And robbie here...
he hasn't eaten in
like, two days.
It's been
longer than that.
Okay, who wants
chilli and cheese?
i do.
What about fries?
Who wants fries?
i do!
me, me, me!
A veggie burger
as well.
Oh my god.
She's so gross.
Fat cow.
Fat cow with
a trust fund.
well, hurry your
shit up, amber.
you have been accused
of having groupies.
well, they call
them groupies.
They're not groupies.
I mean, once you've
talked to somebody
for, like, three weeks
Then they cease
to be a groupie.
They become your friend.
And i guess if somebody
comes up to you and...
And says,
"hey, you're great."
And you talk to them
and stuff, and then
you go home with them,
Well then, okay,
then they're a groupie.
But, you know, once you
drive around with them
And you go here
and there, and...
They're a friend.
So we don't have
any groupies
Because they all
become our friends.
Are you sure you
want to do this?
I don't want to be
a junkie, darby.
You can be what
you want to be.
You know what i
really want to be?
More than anything?
Drummer for
"the germs".
Dude, that would
fucking rule.
Intense, huh?
That's really
how would you
like the wrong end
Of this rifle
up your ass?
Personal damage!
then i've got something
Hey, cut
Yeah, cut
hey, cut yourself!
That was worse than scary.
It was like a riot.
Baby monsters,
that's all they are.
It's my people.
It's not funny,
it's ugly.
Is this what
we've wanted?
Is it?
We're going to get
banned everywhere.
We're not going to
be able to play anywhere.
No wonder don
started another band.
What band?
Oh shit,
you didn't hear?
Well, it's a joke band.
It's stupid.
It's called "vox pops".
When he sings,
he plays guitar...
He wears a dress.
It's stupid.
He wears a dress?
a love for you
or screw
like your mom and dad
like you've never had
I can't believe
that's the drummer
for "the germs".
What a fag!
What a fag!
Fuck you, robbie.
Fuck me?
I'm not the one
who just flashed
the audience.
hey, darby.
Hi. I'm, uh,
penelope spheeris.
I'm doing
a documentary
on the scene.
It's called
"the decline of
western civilization",
And i really want
to film one of
your performances.
When are you
playing again?
Uh, never.
We've been... banned
from every club in l.A.
Every club
in l.A.?
Pretty much.
Then i'll
rent a place.
which clubs have you
been banned from so far?
The whisky.
The fleetwood.
Club 88.
The hong kong.
The hong kong.
The rock corporation.
The rock corporation.
Yeah, them too.
Every club, really.
Everyone loves the album,
Thinks it's great,
wants to see us,
But we can't book shows.
It's so us.
It fucking sucks.
It's so us.
Dude, i thought we
agreed we weren't going
to get high.
Wearen't getting
high, pat, i am.
So, is that what
we're doing now?
It's what people expect.
It's what they want.
Should i get high too?
No. Just...
Huh... go away.
Go away?
Where the
hell did i put my
Probably next to
your dress, don.
It's just
a joke band, darby.
No big deal, right?
Hey, is that speed?
Go, don!
why the fuck do you get
so loaded when you perform?
That way i don't feel
myself getting hurt.
of right and wrong
they crawled
stood in the way
save my soul
creature on my back
won't let go
what now, darby?
You've been banned from,
uh, every club in l.A.
We got a gig as g.I.
It stands for
"germs incognito".
But don't tell
anybody it's us.
You don't think
everybody is going to
fucking figure it out?
Hopefully we'll be
done playing before
anybody figures it out.
Germs! Germs!
Germs! Germs!...
Sure, you booked
a few gigs.
That's the
agent's job.
But as of right now,
I'm darby's manager.
And that means
that i handle all
the business affairs.
And that means that
you work for me.
Work for you?
All you do is
buy darby's dope!
Look, if it
wasn't for me,
He'd buy it off the
street and pass out
And get hit by
a car or something.
"Hit by a car."
My god.
Do you have
any idea
of the hoops
That i had to jump
through just to
get them this gig?
Hey, has anybody
seen geza?
He said he was
going to loan me
his guitar,
But i can't find
him anywhere.
What about don? Don's not here?
All right,
i'll keep looking.
Well, if you
are the manager,
You are doing
one hell of a job!
This band...
this band is in
a total disarray!
I'm doing a
hell of a job?
You've been
managing the band!Yes,
I have been managing...male voice
he has to go on now,
Drummer or
no drummer.
Excuse me.
Yes, i have been
managing the band,
And i'm going to
continue managing
this band,
And i don't
need any help
managing this band!
Everybody here
knows that you're
not the manager
Except you!
What is wrong
with you?
"g.I." Has to
go on now.
We need more time.
You don't understand.
But our drummer's
not here yet.
Those kids out there
are going to riot
If somebody
doesn't go on.
We can't play
without a drummer.
We want "the germs"!
We want "the germs"!
Five more minutes,
then i'm pulling the plug.
I'll play drums.
You don't know
how to play drums.
Yes i do. I've
been practicing.
Darby, look at me.
You know
i want this.
I've always
wanted this.
Then maybe
you should
play the drums.
I won't let
you down, darby.Huh.
hey, i
found one.
Where's don?
Doesn't matter.
Don's out.
Robbie's in.
Let's go, robbie.
fuck yeah, dude.
all right.
Rodney bingenheimer,
Rodney on the roq.
And now from the garages
of west l.A.,
Fucking drummers.The world-Famous
sunset trip,
It's "the germs"!
Yeah! Yeah!
We're "the germs"
And we need beer.
Good to see you.
How are you? Hi.
I'm "the germs'"
The drummer's
on stage. Fuck off.
count it
off, robbie.
Count what off?
that's not "the germs'"
drummer. It's fucking rob.
I'm "the germs'"
drummer and i'm late.
Hey, go get a pass
or wait outside.
I'm not going
to wait outside.
Count it off so we can
start the song together.
Uh, excuse me.
What's going on here?
I'm playing the
drums tonight.
Isn't that
right, darby?
Get off the
stage, robbie.
Get him out of here.
Get off the
stage, asshole.
Get off the
stage, asshole.
Oh, no, no, no!
Not the drums!
Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!
oh, not my hi-Hat!
"Tell me, my brethren,
If the goal be lacking
to humanity,
Is not humanity
itself lacking?
It is time for man
to mark his goal.
It is time for man
to plant the germ
Of his highest hope."
Uh, yeah, oh...
Oh god!
Oh, yeah,
that's good.
yeah, oh, oh, oh.
Hey, darby. Hey, darby.
Oh, come on,
Fuck you,
So you really want
to be a germ, huh?
Huh, you fucking
know i do, man.
Well, great.
You're a germ.
Have fun.
I went over to
lucky's house to
get some speed
And he wasn't there,
so i broke in.
But i found these.
This here is
crystal meth.
And this one
here is...
But this one,
i don't know, there's
no fucking label
So... wait a second.
No label?
There's only one
way to find out.
Oh, yeah.
Darby, no.
No, no, no,
you don't even know
what this shit is.
Get up!
Are you serious?
You want to fucking
kill yourself, huh?
Darby, hey!
Darby, hey.
Hey. Darby.
Darby, hey.
Hey, darby.
Oh, come on,
you gotta be...
Hey, darby.
Darby. Darby, hey.
What's so fucking funny?
It's just ketamine!
Faggots use this stuff
when they get fist-Fucked
To make their
assholes open.
No one's going
to die from
a loose ass.
Don't fucking
laugh, darby.
I'm not going to
stand by here and
watch you kill yourself.
Huh!Is this the
big plan?
The big five-Year plan?
Right here,
right now?
Well, i'm not going
to let that happen.
I just made robbie
the drummer for
"the germs".
We can't play
with rob.
I know.
Oh, so you're not
just killing yourself,
You're killing
our band.
Darby, "the germs"
are the only thing
any of us
Have ever really
cared about.
"The germs"
are dead, pat,
And you know that.
I mean, we can't even
get any gigs anymore.
We... we can't even
go on stage without
starting a riot.
So, what are we
supposed to do now?
I'm going
to london...
With amber.
London with amber?
And when i get back...
Everything's going
to be different...
'Cause i know what
i'm doing, pat.
a higher order
"The germs" on kroq.
And now i am
really excited
Because i have
darby crash on the phone,
Calling from england.
What's going on, darby?
it's 6.00 in the
morning out here.
Well, that's pretty cool.
So, you seen
lots of shows?
Well, i saw "the go-Go's"
the other night.
Oh yeah? And "the blackhearts",
And i went and saw
"the body snatchers".
Oh, "the go-Go's", yeah.
Hey, remember when belinda
was in "the germs"?
Yeah, it's kind
of weird coming all
the way to england
And seeing
hollywood bands.
You know, everybody
says punk is dead,
But it's bigger than ever.
The only band
that i've seen
That's any good though
is "adam and the ants".
Everybody here is
really into "the ants".
"Adam and the ants",
wow. Weird.
When are you coming home?
Well, it depends on
how long i can get by
With the money
we've got.
If anybody wants
to send any money,
They can do it through
lorna or michelle.
ah, good idea.
All right, well,
thanks for calling
All the way from
england. Bye, darby.
Bye, rodney. Yeah, call again.
Bye, everybody. All right...
bye, darby. That was darby crash
On the world-Famous
kroq, rock of the '80s.
Now we're going to
play a song called
"world up my ass"
By the "circle jerks".
Hey, i heard
darby's back.
Oh, hey. Hey.
Come on in.Thanks.
We made him move
into our apartment
So we could take
care of him.
Oh, we had
so much fun.Mm-Hm.
We would have these
dinner parties.
He was really
into wine-Tasting.Hmm.
He was into wine-
Tasting and dope.
I was into
And dope.
You're such
a romantic.Well, it's true!
this is the
new place, huh?
Oh my god!
Oh my god.
Look at that mohawk.
Wow. What's
the difference?
I'm starting
a new band, pat.
And i've...
Auditioned, i-I
don't know, over...
What, 30
guitar players
and they...
They all pretend to
be you, so i just...
I don't know,
i figured i might
as well have you.
Gee, thanks.
It's really important
to me, pat.
Can lorna play?No.
Well, what about don?
I mean, don was
a perfect fit
for us.
I don't know, darby.
Hey, i don't know.
I mean, we were good.
We got really good.
Don't you want to
play with me, pat?
Of course!
You know that.
Of course i do.
Let's start
practicing immediately.
We have a gig
next week.
Next week?
We'll pull it off.
We always
pull it off.
So, amber, nobody
why "the...
Why "the germs"
broke up.
Well, kickboy,
they couldn't get
shows anymore.
It's pat's fault,
Pat has a problem
with violence,
And darby simply
got fed up.
But... but... but pat
is in the new band!
Uh, why would darby
be fed up with pat?
And what about lorna?
Where is...?I'm not at liberty
to discuss
Internal band policy.
Oh, you're
not at liberty.
Well, then maybe
i'll ask darby.
Darby's not
speaking with the
press right now.
The press? I'm not
the fucking press.
I'm fucking kickboy,
you cunt!
No press.
No pictures.
No interviews. Oh, fuck you.
Now, i've imposed
a strict clampdown
on all media.
Well, i've imposed
a strict clampdown
on your fucking mouth.
Okay?Okay, bring it on.
Yeah, you'll never
be in "slash" fucking
magazine, amber.
This is going to be
up your fucking ass.Oh, good!
And i'm going to
be recording it, you know what?
I'm going to
like it.
And shoving it up...
down your throat.
Oh, good, you
know what i like? Fuck you!
We've got all
our instruments,
And they work.
We're at the starwood...
And darby's not wasted.
we have a
new policy.
We only take drugs
under thinking
You're obviously not
used to professional
death masked stars
is cold and sharp
is much too far
of token cars
that mean no harm
in perfect form
rides inside
denim hide
the broken chairs
unholy tests
i need to rest
nothing's in the air
of some who care
is much too far
of token cars
that mean no harm
in perfect form
rides inside
denim hide
Cut yourself!
the broken chairs
unholy tests
i need to rest
you suck!
Thanks, lorna.
withouta doubt,
That was the best
show ever, darby.
Much better than
any "germs" show.
hey, nice
outfit, darby.
How'd it feel to be the
drummer for "the germs"?
Fuck "the germs".
Have some feathers.
Fuck your
feathers, man.
And fuck you!Stop it, robbie.
You want to fuck
with someone?
Come on,
fight with me! Lorna!
Come on,
fuck with me.Stop it!
Yeah?You want
to fight?
Come on.
Come on.
just walk
away, robbie.
Walk away.
shine, dude.
Come on. Let's
get out of here.
are you all
right, darby?
I can't believe
i just did that.
Don't fuck with
lorna doom.
Dude, don't
worry about it.
We'll work
it out. We'll
get it right.
We just need
some time to
write new songs.
I'm out of
time, pat.
I want to
have a "germs"
farewell show...
With all of us.
including don.
I love "the germs",
you know that.
He just knew
i'd say yes.
I always say yes.
Uh, everybody
always said yes.
How could i
say no to him?
Oh my god!
It's a hagstrom.
It's brand new.
Cost 125 bucks
at guitar center.
I can't believe
you bought a
new guitar.
I've been saving.
It even has that
new guitar smell.
I figure since
it's our last
"germs" show,
I might as well
buy a new guitar.
Listen. Listen.
This is for the people
who wanted to know
what it was like
When we were around.
But this is
the only one.
You're not going
to see this again.
So i want the people
that care...
That care what
it was like...
That it meant something
to be inside of here...
And we'll play for you.
And you can come
up here a-And you
can play with us.
We will make it
like it was.
So let's do it.
Let's go.
to talk to you
don't listen
no junkie
the tunnel
to my jungle
the tunnel
to my jungle
They'll charge you on
the way out for that.
Yeah, pat, pick it up!
Yeah, you sexy fuck!
Darby! Darby!
to talk to you
never listen
to my jungle
the jungle
take me back
to my tunnel
I'll see you all
at oki-Dog.
Go to oki-Dog.
we love you, darby.
that was our
best show ever.
I want to play
again right now.
You're lorna doom.
So whatever happens,
No one can take
that away from you.
I know that.
going to oki-Dog.
Come to oki-Dog.
Tonight, darby?
It's freezing
and i'm tired,
And you know i don't
go out anymore so...
I'm not going.Take it.
I don't need
it anymore.
What are you doing?
Take it.
Okay. Goodbye.
Mr. Crash.
Great show.
Best one yet.
I mean, no darby
crash band but, you
know... don.
It wouldn't have been
"the germs" without you.
That was awesome.Yeah.
I'm going to oki-Dog.
There's a big
party there.
Please come, pat.
Me and jena,
we're going to go
home and watch tv.
We're tired.
Oh, okay.
Cool. We'll...
do it next time.
"I love those who do
not know how to live
Except in perishing
For they are those
that go beyond.
I love the
great despisers
Because they are
the great adorers.
They are arrows longing
for the other shore.
I love those who do not
seek beyond the stars
For a reason to perish
and be sacrificed,
But who sacrifice
themselves to
earth in order
That earth may someday
become superman's.
Tell me, my brethren,
If the goal be lacking
to humanity,
Is not humanity
itself lacking?
It is time for man
to mark his goal.
It is time for man
to plant the germ
of his highest hope."
Hey, darby.
This is beat, isn't it?
Oh, you know what?
There's this huge party
Up on
Some rich chick.
Her dad's
an actor or
You should go.
I'm going to kill
myself tonight.
You know...
I've been trying
to do stuff, like...
For a really long time.
Like, um...
Oh, 15,
20 years.
But, um...
I keep fucking up.
And things don't
get any better.
Let's do it.
Hmm? In
my parents'
pool house.
No one will know
we're there.
the market square
How do you know
how much to use?
news spread quickly.
Within minutes,
Fans, the curious
and reporters...
This is... this
is unbelievable.
and told us
his face was wet
he was not lying...
John lennon...
Was brought to
the emergency room...
Why... why would
they do such a thing?
Like, i don't
even see... it's,
like, so random.
and tvs
like a warehouse...
He was dead on arrival.
Are you sure that's
the right amount?
the fat-Skinny people
tall-Short people
the nobody people
the somebody people
i'd need
went off her head
pulled her off
have killed them
with a broken arm
the wheels of a cadillac
Did you hear?
Yeah, i'm wa... i'm
watching it right now.
Yeah, i want to know
what darby thinks.
in an ice cream parlour
cold and long
and looking so fine...
Darby, i think
i'm still alive.
You know, he
once told me
That we were going
to be more important
than "the beatles".
get back there
your race
you're beautiful
what a surprise
Darby fucking did it.
stuck on my eyes
stuck on my eyes
i'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Why would someone stalk
and kill john lennon?
And why now, when lennon
was just coming out of
five years of seclusion?
Almost immediately,
a vigil of stunned fans...
...and singing songs
in lennon's memory.
I was telling these
people here, i feel
like the '80s have begun.
it was at the dakota
That the lennons decided
to break their silence
And record their new album,
"double fantasy".
The fantasy,
and the peace,
Ended violently
at the dako...
"Astrid was from
a planet blue.
He spoke of love
for me and you.
He could set
your mind ablaze
With sparkling eyes
and visionary gaze.
He stood like a remnant
from outbreak past,
Wore something in his ear
and boy, he was sass.
Had hair like
a rocket's nest,
But when he cheered,
he gave his best.
He made a noise that
stirred our souls,
Got us moving
out of control.
When astrid moved,
We changed our tunes.
They filled his arms
with needles bare,
Shot him up and
cut his hair,
Tied him to
an evil plot,
Told the kids that
he was not their man.
He gave us life
and dealt us love,
Sold us out for
the great above.
On a starry night
in mid-December,
Astrid died.
You might remember.
Live it to the end.
Share it with a friend.
Deny me not.
I'll be with you
in your thoughts...
everything works
in circles,
Like, sometimes
you're doing something,
And, a year later,
You're back at
the same point.
You understand that?
So circle one is what
we're doing right now.
Someday we'll probably
do circle two.
is calling
then you forget
rock 'n' roll suicide
to lose it
waits so patiently
you've lived too long
rock 'n' roll suicide
are snarling
across the road
breaks instead
blast your shadow
ride your mind
religiously unkind
you're not alone
but you're too unfair
all tangled up
make you care
you're not alone
or who you've been
or where you've seen
to lacerate your brain
with the pain