When Will You Get Divorced? (2026) Movie Script
1
WASHINGTON
There is a legend about
a diamond that never brought happiness,
but always brought fear of betrayal.
Kings would trade in
their queens for dancers,
marquises would cheat
on their husbands with young hunks,
and betrayed lords would end up in a duel.
And every time the Hope
diamond shone nearby,
someone would inevitably
suspect someone of betrayal.
But as long as the diamond remains safely
in the museum, it will not harm anyone.
THIS STRANGE STORY IS FICTION,
BUT WE WISH IT WERE REAL
ODESA
THREE MONTHS LATER
Oh, wait, hold on, I'm not ready.
Honestly, me neither.
Just breathe. Come on, breathe.
- It's his first time.
- Yeah.
Actually, I have a wedding today.
Any chance we could reschedule?
Oh, great, tomorrow's actually
my day off. Let's do it then.
Come back. We'll make it.
Breathe, breathe. You breathe too.
We're not gonna make it, Liud.
Have you ever done it in a hotel?
Well, you will now. Come on!
I don't want to give birth unmarried!
I swear I'll kill you!
God, it's so nice here!
And who's this little one we've got here?
Come on out, come on.
Mark!
Come on, push, push, just a bit more.
First time and already a success.
Lucky guy.
I did it, can you believe it?
It's a girl.
Hi there, my little one!
Oh, my God, she's beautiful!
Doesn't look like you at all.
Hi there, my little one!
And who else have we got here?
Come on, come on!
Look how quick he is.
You've got a bonus here, a boy.
What do you mean a boy?
A boy, a boy, a boy.
I saw it. Well, barely.
All right, quiet now,
calm down, it happens.
Wow! Lora Bohdanivna, today
you're like a 3D printer, honestly.
Congratulations, Mommy!
And this one, by the way,
looks just like you.
Mommy, another 57
are waiting for you.
Fifty-seven more.
Fifty-seven guests are already
waiting for you. Wake up.
What, had a nightmare?
Yeah.
It's not the first time: first you're
pregnant, then I'm pregnant.
And still unmarried.
And me? Am I pregnant?
You're not.
Oh, phew!
Where's Mark?
Will you be much longer?
Almost.
Listen, she's already
beautiful, just look at my girl.
- Mark, get lost!
- All right.
On the Internet, they say dreaming
about pregnancy means money.
Yeah, unless you get pregnant by an ATM.
Yes, add some hairspray.
Mom! Sonya knows what she's doing.
Volume, volume.
And brush it up. Like this.
Like Marilyn Monroe.
Aunt Sofa, that's already outdated.
What do you know?
Mum is style, Mum is classic.
Mummy has painted so many
stars at the Odessa Film Studio...
Oh, come on!
Mom, that was twenty years ago.
So what? In all that time,
fashion has only just caught up with me.
Really? And where are your stars now?
All in the archives.
Not all of them. This one still shines.
And now, are we waiting much longer?
Try this thing on.
Oh, my God, how beautiful!
- Aunt Sofa!
- What now?
Yes, I'm not nervous! I'm not nervous!
Yes, I'm nervous.
And why would I be nervous?
I'm not even married yet, and
everything already feels so alarming.
Okay, everyone be quiet!
Calm down.
Sit down, you're married.
Technically, you signed
the papers yesterday,
all that's left is to have the wedding.
Then you can get pregnant
to your heart's content.
Girls, seriously, we don't have time.
Ksyu!
Oh, Lord!
See? You're not the only one nervous.
But look. Sun, sea, beautiful weather,
everything will be fine.
Beautiful weather, you say?
If it rains at a wedding, that
means happiness. And money too.
Where are you taking
that? Put it here. Right here.
The wedding is in a
five-star hotel by the sea.
Our sea. The Black Sea.
Odesa is fantastic in any weather.
Everything will be fine. Really,
what could possibly go wrong?
They'll pick it up now. It's nothing.
Lord, only Mum could bring the spirit of
the House of Culture to a five-star hotel.
How beautiful you are!
My neighbours will think that
I didn't grow it myself,
but ordered it from a catalogue.
Oh, thank you, Mummy, for everything.
I tried my best, honey.
I don't see the photographer anywhere.
Don't worry, he's over there
photographing the guests.
Come on, I look fine, right? Go ahead!
Right, and where are the rings?
Lora...
One second.
Okay.
And where's Mark?
Mark... Mark...
And who's this olive?
Never seen her before.
Okay. Just a sec.
Oh, there you are. And you're
here from which side, exactly?
Excuse me?
From my fianc's side? Because
you're not on my guest list.
I'm on my subordinate's side.
Kate.
Katya then. You didn't tell me.
Katya... Katya... you must
be from Privoz or something.
In our Interpol we have
Senior Agent Kate Zisman.
Lorik, there's just
one little detail, look...
Let's get married first...
Sure.
- And then we'll deal with all the details.
- Okay, okay.
We're not finished.
He only finishes with me.
I think he'll finish when I tell him to.
All right, girls, Lorik, let me explain
everything right now. Just a minute...
Are you getting married or what?
Everyone's waiting for you.
Say: "Wedding!"
Every wedding needs its
own cringe photo. Here it is.
Help yourselves, we'll start soon.
By the way, have you seen mom?
Marilyn Monroe style.
Oh, good afternoon, welcome, looking good.
Let's make it more cheerful. Hey, wedding!
Oh, my God, what is this, Odesa or what?
Hryhoriy!
Shoo, youngsters, I want
one with you, Hryhoriy.
Look here, Markivna. Gorgeous!
Now from this side... No, no,
no, from this angle. Please, darling.
The lipstick is too bright, isn't it?
Now smile, Markivna.
Hryhoriy, you're incredible!
It's mutual. I'm with you all evening
today. Thank you for watching.
This is fantastic! Well, what are you
standing here for? Let me mingle a little.
How's life in general? Look at
all these arches, flowers - wow!
So, how do you like the whole set-up?
All of this is Sofia Markivna's work.
Dear relatives, dear guests,
the magical moment has come
when our bachelor turns into a real man...
And loses half of his
female followers, because
real men never show
up on the For You page.
Listen, let's skip the show. Just
marry us already, Hrysha. Come on!
Oh, you know, my friend,
a wedding isn't a show.
Here you can't just say:
"Let's shoot another take."
And you can't press the
"choose another" button.
Calm down!
And you can't run backstage
when things get scary.
I'm not going to run away
backstage and look for someone else.
Grisha, can you hurry
up and marry me or not?
Those who rush will make
the whole country laugh.
You're rushing like
someone's waiting for you.
Save the rush for the divorce.
I'm not planning to get divorced.
Just marry us already, please.
All right, let's continue
without commercial breaks.
Please welcome the bride, Lora!
- Hi!
- Hi!
Listen, Lorik, I need
to tell you something.
I know.
You do?
Yes, I do. This arch is a disaster.
It's Mom, just bear with it.
Mom!
Start already!
The moment has come
to ask you the most important question.
Mark, are you ready
to spend your whole life...
Yes, yes, yes.
...to cherish, to carry her in your arms...
I'm telling you, I'm ready.
- Lora, are you ready to share...
- Yes.
...to appreciate...
I already said yes.
You're just the perfect couple.
Perhaps someone here objects?
Nobody objects. Just kiss already,
my phone's dying.
And as a sign of your sincere
feelings, exchange the rings.
I... I have nothing to do with this.
Mark?
How should I know?
Mark!
Sensational theft: we have received new
details from the Washington museum,
where one of the most
expensive jewels in the world,
the Hope Diamond,
was stolen a month ago.
From our own sources we obtained
a photo of the main suspect
in the museum robbery.
But investigators
still have no information
about who she is or where she is now.
He's been kidnapped.
Mark's been kidnapped.
Your little brother is just a crybaby.
Oh, right. Maybe we should ask his
boss, she might know something.
Exactly! Where did she go?
Yeah, where did she go? She's
gone. Maybe they ran away together?
What? What are you talking about?
What? What did I say?
She's probably making up a
whole movie in her head right now.
Or maybe not a movie. Maybe it's true?
Just forget those fantasies!
Come on, come on, come on...
I feel like something bad happened.
He's an Interpol agent, maybe he was
framed and kidnapped
to harvest his organs.
Or taken into sexual slavery.
What slavery? In bed, he's like TikTok:
fast, loud, and absolutely useless.
Aunt Sofa!
What do you mean "Aunt Sofa"? Me too!
The whole Odesa has heard,
but still no grandchildren.
Mom!
What, "Mom"? You made a
scandal in front of all Odesa.
And now no husband,
no belly, only dreams about pregnancy.
All right, stop!
That's the last thing we
clearly remember from
the wedding, and after
that, it's all a blur.
Those little bastards!
Illiterate idiots. They could've at least
paid for the subscription.
Oh, my God!
That's wrong too.
You'd be better off reading books.
First time I wake up like this in Arcadia.
Trust the expert: this is not Arcadia.
How did we even end up... here?
Imagine it was Katya. Come on!
Fuck, that's 20 grand down the drain!
We're just completely different.
Like a cat and a dog.
I'm all proud and beautiful, like you,
and he's a flea-ridden mutt.
Yes! Oh my God, princess!
I don't want to go anywhere anymore.
Come with us.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, where are you going?
There's sausage
and Prosecco. Come with us!
Let's go!
Oh, our transfer.
Load her in!
Bulgaria. Bulgaria. Bulgaria.
By the way, this is a Bulgarian princess.
Look, a tiara. God, how beautiful!
Let me go home.
No, he doesn't understand. One second.
Jamn. Jamn, please. One second.
Oh, a free cash register.
A free cash register!
Sonya, hand over our passports too.
Sonya, Son, what's going on?
Everything's fine, I've sorted it out.
We're going to Bulgaria,
I don't understand?
Oh, God!
Sonya!
Sonya!
Wait, wait, wait!
Sonya's a scatterbrain.
I told her she had to renew her passport.
If there are less than six months
left, they won't let you out.
Why the hell are we in Bulgaria?
Oh, a while ago, I put
parental control on Mark's phone.
We checked and he's in Bulgaria.
So we came to rescue him.
We did?
I'll check where he is now.
I'm not going anywhere.
He made his choice.
Lora, Lora...
That's it. That's it...
Lora, Lora... what do we have to lose?
We're already here.
Let's find him and figure it out.
If it's really his choice,
then you'll let him go.
But then when you're old,
sitting at home alone with ten dogs,
you won't regret
losing the love of your life
without knowing the truth.
I like cats.
But I need to change.
I have to look my best.
No problem.
BULGARIA
We go this way.
No, that way. Turn it around.
Right, right.
Over there, to the right.
Oh, God!
Lora!
My legs are falling off already.
You said it was close.
It is close. Come on, come on, come on.
Looks like we need
to go the other direction.
Where are we supposed to go?
Damn it, my dress!
Maybe I should drive?
Let's just take a taxi.
You said it's close.
We're going the right way, right?
Yes, it's here. Straight ahead.
Lora, here. Left, left.
Sadist, damn it! On the
highway it's faster than in
traffic jams. Have you
seen any traffic jams here?
Sorry! I asked the taxi driver what
was faster. How was I supposed to know
that in Bulgarian "yes" means "no"
and "no" means "yes"?
Okay, we go that way.
The car?
Those are ours.
I can hear that.
Those are ours.
I can see that.
Familiar faces.
I'd rather forget them.
Just say the word and
I'll give you amnesia.
You'd better not mess with karma.
What, you gonna run me
over with your bucket of bolts?
Easy, baby. It's vintage.
Well, I can see that. You'd
better learn to park properly.
All right, girls, let's calm down.
We'll compensate your vintage.
Relax, it's insured.
No problem, full casco.
Yes, he's somewhere here.
So where's your precious brother?
We have to search everything.
Maybe they're even keeping him
in a basement somewhere.
Oh, Slava.
Who?
Slava Tymoshenko, our artist.
She studied at Sotheby's Institute
in London.
Let's ask her.
I noticed long ago that
art and wine are similar.
Both reveal more than just the soul.
Slava, hi! Unexpected meeting.
Hi! By the way, how's your painting
"When Will You Get Married?"
Not so great. I'd rather paint a new
one, "When Will You Get Divorced?"
By the way, do you
remember my brother Mark?
The younger one.
Yes, yes. Have you seen him here?
No.
Well then, here's to
divorce. Divorce is art too.
A bold theme, but you need inspiration.
I'd say, you need a hero.
Oh, I've got one. A hero-asshole. He's
really good at messing up people's lives.
Lora!
Oh, there he is.
The blond one?
That's him.
I'm about to mess that dyed idiot up.
Lora! Lora, get a grip.
What are you doing here?
Checking if you've been
taken into sexual slavery.
Ladies, this really isn't a good time.
Why don't you take a walk outside?
Right, darling?
Is that mine?
No, it's hers.
Mark! This is...
Quiet! Don't make a
scene. I'll explain everything.
Well, you're an asshole.
Listen...
Actually, I was first.
Take your hands off me or I'll break them.
How dare you? Lora!
Well, karma just pulled up.
Karma isn't justice, it works fast.
Lora! Something's wrong
here. You need to calm down.
What now?
A month of preparation... in the drain.
No, down the drain.
Relax, I'll sort everything out.
Your nervous relatives
already sorted it out for you.
You need to calm down, hear me?
What's with this chocolate bar?
Give it to me.
I'll show you...
I'll decide myself when I go home.
We lost.
Oh, Big-lips.
If you mean beating
you at tic-tac-toe, sure.
But the criminal world is chess.
Great, so you changed your mind after all.
Why did you dye your hair?
Just a little disguise.
Since when do you speak Ukrainian?
Two months in a cell, a couple seasons
of The Bachelor and here we are.
A CONVICTED SWINDLER
RECRUITED BY INTERPOL
CODENAME "BIG LIPS"
Right. Then you can go back to your
cell and keep watching it. You're late.
Then you can go back to your
cell and keep watching it.
You're late.
I came just in time to save your asses.
Your operation, if the deal is still on.
And how are you going to do
that? She cancelled the meeting.
I'll arrange a new one.
They don't say no to me.
Suppose so.
Wow, awesome! The game
continues, but let's stay cool.
Yes, I need to explain everything to Lora.
Sit down. Do you want to
ruin the operation again?
Listen, I think we're being watched.
I've seen those two somewhere.
Looks like they're her accomplices.
Fine, then we stick to the
legend: you're my fianc.
Kiss me.
- I can't.
- You can.
I don't want to.
You do.
Listen, I'm not doing it.
Lora, a strange man,
an island, aren't you scared?
Everything I was afraid
of has already happened.
- You will. I won't.
- You will.
Checkmate. We're back in the game.
It's not close, we have to drive there.
I'll drive. See, I've arranged everything.
While you were fixing things here,
this pretty boy fixed things over there.
Oh, Bulgarian pepper!
Ksyu, look, I think that's the island.
We've been driving for a while.
The navigation system isn't working.
Are we going in the right direction?
Where are you going? I'm
driving. Let go! I've got it!
Wait, stop! Let go!
Will you stop already?
I'm the driver! What are
you doing, are you crazy?
Are we there yet?
Interesting... is there
anyone else on this island?
What worries me more
is the terrible signal here.
Maybe you should call Mark?
I don't call exes.
Meaning?
I got divorced.
What? When did you manage that?
This morning, at "Diya". That's
it, free and independent.
You know, Lora, that's too much.
Isn't betrayal too much?
I didn't know him at all,
and I see you didn't either.
Is there any signal?
I don't have any.
Who would've doubted!
Mark, Mark,
come here!
Shit!
Why the hell did I even bring you along?
Because I'm the brain of this operation.
You? The brain?
And where exactly do you keep it, huh?
Here? Or here?
Listen, don't touch me.
If it weren't for you, I'd have wrapped
this whole thing up already, okay?
You can't do anything without me.
You couldn't even get married.
That's because of you!
You rushed our operation.
You ruined my wedding.
You dragged me out of my own wedding!
Otherwise that old woman would've
sold the diamond to someone else.
Sold it? To whom?
Listen, it was me, I made
up this whole story...
To get Big-lips...
Sorry.
To get this crime boss to
want to buy the Hope Diamond,
I prepared two hundred
million marked euros,
and I can complete this operation myself.
Without you. Because you
just took it and... just... you just...
What?
You just tagged along,
that's all. Got it?
I tagged along?
Yes. You just tagged along.
I'm running this operation.
And just so you know, you're suspended!
I'm... what?
I'm not working with you anymore!
Fine by me. I'm not working with
you either. You didn't fire me, I quit.
I just did! Don't yell at me!
I quit myself! I quit, that's it!
Now I'll handle everything myself.
Idiot.
Maybe your other side is better?
HONEY, EVERYTHING IS OK WE ARE ON
AN ISLAND, I WILL TEXT YOU LATER.
You want some?
I'll grab some water.
Oh, I got a little wet.
What, have you fallen
for this Bulgarian pepper?
Oh, God, the jokes are
just like your brother's.
Don't ruin my vibe.
Look, don't ruin your life.
It's dripping...
Oh, my darling's calling.
Hello, Teo!
Hello! Honey, can you hear me?
I see you've already stopped
four guys in their tracks.
Well, then maybe Mr Brain
will save the situation somehow?
No, no, no. You're the head
of the operation. I'll let you handle it.
Why do we need brains
when we've got muscles?
What the hell?
Take your shirt off. Time
to work with what we've got.
And just so you know, only one
woman gets to pour water on me, got it?
Are you spying on us?
On them, no.
Only for you.
Karina.
Alina.
Nice. Are you sisters?
Mark, I hope you haven't
forgotten about your fiance.
And your sister.
I've been officially
relieved of my family duties.
No, no, no, don't you dare!
He took the case with
the money, that bastard!
He took the case but forgot the brains.
I changed the code.
How do we get there now?
It's barely a walk. Let's go!
Hello! Teo!
There's money on
the island but no proper Wi-Fi.
Hold on...
Some kind of map...
Oh, that must be our island.
Hello, Teo!
Hello, can you hear me?
Can you hear me? I'll send you
our location just in case. Hello!
Yes, yes, okay.
We won't make it like this.
I have an idea.
I can't...
There he is, there! There!
Knocking woodpecker!
Careful, careful.
Looks like life's been rough on you.
And I see you've sorted everything out!
What's up? Did your girlfriends dump you?
What girlfriends?
I told you, I'm a one-woman man.
Without money, you're useless to anyone.
Technically, I have the case and you
have the password. So it's one-one.
We still have another meeting location.
I'm not apologising.
All right. Apology accepted.
You're back on the team.
Careful!
All right, that's enough of me.
I need food. Anyone got cash?
Everything's under arrest.
Maybe...
Don't even think about it. They're marked.
God, maybe I should just
run your Interpol already?
You'll be lost without me.
Three shawarmas for Rolexes, Bulgaria's
getting more expensive by the minute.
Eat up. You're skinny as a toothpick.
Aren't you scared of, like...
What, I dream about it.
Look at these sushi sticks.
A woman has to be tasty
so there's something to chew on.
The sauce is amazing.
Sauce isn't for the weak.
Yeah, that's true.
That Bulgarian pepper again.
Sit down!
Kid, are you following us now?
Lora, I don't get it, do
you really like him that much?
You're just sitting there like...
Ksyu, come on. We're sitting here
just fine. Why are you being so dramatic?
I'm young, beautiful, single, at the
seaside, and I'm going to get what I want.
Watch it, little dickhead!
I'll get water.
Fine. Put it on ice.
Those two are here too.
Oh, my God! He got beaten up
like that for the last time at school.
Where are you going? Sit down!
Serves him right. I actually feel better.
Darling! That must hurt, right?
What's going on?
Those two again.
Kiss me.
What? Are you serious?
Listen, they don't look
like professional spies at all.
Maybe that's the plan. Maybe
they're pretending to be spies
so we think they're not spies,
while they actually are.
That's confusing. So
we should act like idiots
so nobody thinks we're
real idiots, or what?
Exactly.
What is this, some Turkish soap opera?
I need some air. Alone.
You really are an idiot, brother.
I guess this is the end for Mark and Lora.
Seriously?
I don't know what has to happen
for them to get back together.
They're like a cat and a dog.
Maybe I should come after all?
No need. Tomorrow's our last day and
we'll go home. But I miss you so much.
I love you very much.
I love you too. Thank you for
understanding and for being there for me.
We love you and can't
wait for you to come home.
And finally, dessert.
Time's up. The meeting's in two hours.
Let's go!
Mark, listen to me. This is your
last chance to stay in the service.
Work comes first, then personal stuff.
Listen, Lora betrayed you.
Get her out of your head
and finally get focused
on the operation,
because if the deal falls through,
you and I are screwed.
Okay, fine, okay...
Where's the location?
Finally! Ah, it's there.
I thought "Wine Valley" was a restaurant.
"WINE VALLEY" 50 KM AWAY
FROM THE SEA
Who schedules deals in a vineyard?
An alcoholic. Who else?
All right. Helicopters only on my signal.
Copy.
Let's go over the plan again.
You!
I'll ask her to show the
diamond and check if it's real.
Good. You?
I wait for the signal from Big-lips...
Sorry.
If everything's fine,
I hand over the marked bills.
If she takes them, I grab her. That's it.
Then you give the
signal to secure the area.
Great. Now we just
need to find where she is.
It says she's on location.
Where? Where exactly?
I think that's her.
Target in twenty metres. Get ready.
Ready.
Lora, you again? How did you...
Sit down before you fall.
Bravo. I underestimated you again.
Exactly.
And I'm tired of trying to be
noticed, appreciated, praised.
One beautiful day I realised
I deserve only the best,
even the most expensive
diamond in the world.
Our precious one, shall we make the deal?
Show me the money.
Show her the money.
Zero, zero, zero.
Three zeros. "The brain of
the operation," you said...
200 000 000 - 10 000 000 - CASH
190 000 000 - CRYPTO KEY
Stone for inspection.
Here.
Mark!
Ah, money! Where's the money, Lora?
You and Lora planned
this cleverly, didn't you?
This is a set-up.
Who's the client?
I'm telling you,
it's a set-up. Let's figure it out.
All right. Let's figure it
out. You're under arrest.
I'm under you!
Okay.
She's the client. She's the one who
ordered it.
Yes, Big-lips. It was her plan.
You're the client?
Fuck you! What plan?
Enough. Quiet. You're both under arrest.
Look! Lora! Lora!
Look! Mark! Stop!
Right.
My career is over.
Not over. Mark will lead you to the money
and the diamond, and I'll lead you to him.
How?
My hairpin is a tracker.
Connection restored.
Status? Orders? Over.
Stand down. Return to base.
Team three will pick you up.
Stand down, I said. I'll get there myself.
Copy.
So how do we get there?
Same way as always, I guess.
No!
Yes.
Meanwhile, the adventure
became even more complicated.
Mark impulsively saved Lora from arrest,
and Katya and Marin formed a
temporary female alliance
to catch Mark and return
the stolen diamond.
And now my brother was an outlaw.
He was forced to hide from
Interpol in order to find Lora
and get to the bottom of the truth.
And I, suspecting nothing,
returned to the island for Lora
to pick her up and end
our unsuccessful trip.
Lora!
Why is this party so lame?
It's my birthday today.
What birthday, Lora?
Hey! Put on a decent song.
Just not "Serdyuchka".
Ukraine, Ukraine.
Traitor! But I've loved her since school.
No, I behaved badly too, I ran away from
the wedding, but that doesn't mean that...
Well, you understand... Here.
We're like cats and dogs.
I'm kind and brave.
Well, like you.
And she turned out to
be a treacherous cat.
Actually, she... Hey, you...
Aren't you going to listen till the end?
Well, get out of here! Understand?
I thought you were a friend...
but you turned out to be a bitch.
Sorry, there is currently no connection.
The subscriber is out of coverage.
The main thing is that she's happy.
Careful, careful!
What is it, Lora?
Cheers!
Oh no, no, no.
You don't drink?
I do, but I don't feel like it.
Well... I kind of do, but rarely.
Actually, I feel like it quite often,
but it's better if I don't drink.
Today. Just dance!
She's my friend!
Oh, hi.
Well, at least you
picked up the phone. Hi!
What's up? How are you?
How am I? Not great. Do
you even know where I am?
Of course. In Bulgaria.
Maybe you also know
that Lora and Ksyo are here?
Yes.
Wait, maybe you know
where they are right now?
Mark, I know. Where?
On the island.
Send the location.
Seriously, like a cat and a dog.
Lora!
What the fu... hell is this crap?
Now I definitely need a drink.
And I need you to wrap it up.
The concert is over.
Is that artificial intelligence?
But this time we ended up on
the yacht against our will.
And in the morning
we realised that he
had covered his tracks.
And say hi to the little one from us.
By the way, he was right. We saved you.
We need to get to shore.
I won't make it to shore.
What do you mean you won't? You will.
I'm a bad swimmer.
How can you be bad? You're from Odesa.
That's not a reason to swim well!
Lora! Lora! Lora!
Lean on me.
I love you.
I love you too.
And I love your brother too.
Tell that idiot.
Lora, no!
That idiot can hear you!
And he loves you very much too.
Mark! Mark!
Why are you shouting? He's right here.
Mark!
Easy, girls. Hold on.
Mark! Help! Ow!
Oh! Oh, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sis. Sorry. Come on.
Mark! Help! Lora, Lora.
Give me your hand. Come on.
Give me your hand.
Take your hand away! I can do it myself!
Just help her!
I am helping! Come on,
come on, come on. Easy, Lorik.
Mark.
Blankets.
I would've saved myself anyway.
Oh, quiet already, Lor!
Oh! Careful.
Thank you, Mark. Thank you for saving us.
Lora!
Thanks. Traitor!
You're welcome, crook.
Mark!
Where's the diamond?
What diamond?
Actually... where is the diamond?
I don't see it either.
Last time I saw it
was in your Katya's hands.
I'm talking about the Hope Diamond.
Where is it?
Wait, you mean that stolen diamond?
And where are the two hundred million?
Did you dye your hair or fry your brains?
Good thing I broke up with you.
I'm not spending money on a psychiatrist.
I think I know...
Shh. What did you just say?
What you heard.
Why the hell did you give
my ring to your Katya?
That was a professional necessity.
Of course. That changes everything.
It was a special operation,
you understand? An emergency operation.
That's why I had to run away
from the wedding. You understand?
And Katya...
According to the legend, we're engaged.
Then go fuck your legend!
But I don't want her! I want you.
Both of you calm down!
I know where the diamond is.
Where?
Here's the video.
That's transformation.
It's the newest Interpol technology.
Some special agent you are.
You couldn't tell me apart from a man.
Lorik...
I ruined this whole operation for you.
Everyone's looking for us now.
If we don't find the money
or that damn diamond,
we're done.
But I'll figure something out.
I will never leave you.
I know.
I know where his next stop is. Here.
This is the map from his tablet.
And this is today's date.
We need a new boat.
And... dry clothes.
And dry clothes.
Right, let's go, it's there.
Yes, sure.
Agent with the call sign
"Bachelor," target number one.
The bag, the bag.
We continue surveillance.
I told you, this family sticks together.
Ow!
Careful, careful. Lorik, don't fall.
Wait. Let's test your theory.
Mark came up with a great
plan, to get the diamond
and the money back and
arrest the Bulgarian pepper.
Hush, they'll hear us now.
All of Bulgaria can hear
you! I said: stay in the boat!
And why are you giving orders here?
We were just really worried about you.
Oh yeah? Who was worried?
Can you speak normally?
You stay here guarding the Prosecco.
Keep an eye on it. That's it.
Mayday, Mayday, SOS, SOS.
Alpha-one, Bravo-two, Echo-three,
does anyone hear me?
There's money on
the yacht, but no normal radio.
No money and no diamond.
And that Bulgarian pepper is gone too.
Losers!
Found it! I found the case.
The case, the money, everything's here.
What?
No panic. I'll defuse it now. Easy.
It's a bomb!
What are you doing? No-no-no-no!
Sis, you've helped enough.
So can we panic now?
And now we all have to jump.
Targets, targets! To the
boat, quick! Come on! Move!
That bastard's escaping! Step on it, Mark!
Easy! Easy! Girls, hold on,
don't be afraid. Hear me?
Go, go!
Rock! Watch out! Mark!
Lora, get up.
Breathe. Lora, breathe.
Lora, how are you?
Where's Mark? Mark?
Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!
Mark! Mark, how could you leave me again?
He's coming... He's coming up now.
Mark! I love his dramatic entrances.
You will be tried in court. Surprise!
You're under arrest.
Arrested.
All of you are under arrest.
Every single one. I've always
dreamed of saying that.
INTERPOL'S SECREINTERROGATION HEADQUARTERS
Astronomical torture as a
new interrogation method?
Camembert works better than a polygraph.
Listen, why are you pouting?
I'll explain everything now.
I already know everything.
You told Lora about our secret operation.
What?
He told you something?
And in this fraudster's head
a plan appeared,
to steal both the money and the stone.
I thought she'd been locked up long ago.
This snake wants revenge on our family.
Yeah.
You liked her plan and
decided to set me up.
But you didn't have enough
brains to make checkmate.
You think this was chess?
This was tic-tac-toe,
and you're a complete zero.
They'll cross you out too if
you keep listening to Big-lips. Got it?
The facts are against you and your family.
Facts are fragments.
I'll assemble them into
the real picture and
show it to you, got it?
He'll set you up again.
Listen, I once just arrested her,
and this is simple revenge.
So.
You have five minutes.
Great. I only need one.
You can keep the
other six for the ovation.
The other four.
He's a humanities guy.
So, our Bulgarian
pepper has a little secret.
Oh!
Yes. Recognise it?
That's our stolen prototype.
Impossible.
Possible.
Looks like ordinary
chewing gum, but actually...
That's classified information.
It was.
But in reality, it's a secret
nanotechnology development
with artificial intelligence
that, during a kiss, reveals
a person's DNA
and completely copies
their appearance, voice, and even clothes.
Yes. There were five such discs in total,
one remained in our organisation,
which was involved in its development.
But four disappeared along
with the creator of this device.
Exactly. I suspect the second
one was used to steal the diamond.
The woman we never managed to find.
Exactly.
All right, continue.
The third record was a
mistake because... because Lorik
would never have let
herself be kissed right away.
But he managed to use the fourth one.
By the way, she... she kisses very well.
He transformed into Lora
at the vineyard meeting.
He wanted to turn us
against each other, you see.
All right, let's say I understand
why you fought so desperately
for your significant other.
But what about the fifth one?
You all want to know
where the fifth plate went?
EX-INTERPOL DEVELOPER
CODENAME "SCHOOLBOY"
Welcome back, Yosyp Lvovych!
Greetings!
Lorik, you kissed this old man?
No, no. I kissed a handsome guy
who apparently kissed this old man
before that.
Ugh!
Hold on! Why did you decide to use her?
Fortunam manu tenere et.
What?
It means "to hold fortune
in your hand." It's Latin.
Because she is your weak
spot. When I saw your
quarrel, I realised right
away, it was love.
Something's not right.
And using her beauty, I
could get both the money and
the diamond, and confuse the trail.
I am a genius!
You're a creepy old pervert.
I'm a genius. A brilliant engineer. Golden
hands. And this gum is my invention.
With which you disappeared, traitor.
Just don't try to manipulate me. I devoted
my whole life to working for the secret
services. And what did I get? A cottage
near a cemetery. They wrote me off like an
old floppy disk. And then I realised that
I had to take my fate into my own hands.
You're a murderer! You tried to
blow us up when we were on the yacht.
Yes.
It was the next scientific
experiment. And by the way,
how was it? I can
exchange it for freedom.
Take him away.
Welcome back to the cell.
I am a genius. I deserve
the most expensive diamond
in the world. I am worthy.
Fortunam manu tenere.
Well then, agent, congratulations.
All secrets revealed.
Well done! I'm just curious
who used the first chewing gum.
And I'm curious when they'll release us.
That's not all.
Ekaterina Avramivna, finally!
How nice it is to finally
be in my own body.
INTERPOL ART CRIME UNIT CHIEF
CODENAME "MADONNA"
Oh, how I missed you.
You know, the world
without you felt... well... flatter.
Don't flatter me. I was a bit of a bitch...
Huh? A bit?
Maybe it was a side effect of that,
but most likely I was
just constantly hungry.
Now... That's it!
Agent Bachelor, well done!
You solved two cases at once.
Congratulations on your promotion.
What about me? I cracked it too.
You cracked your mouth open a lot.
CASE NO 1 "THE THEFOF THE HOPE DIAMOND"
NO 2 "THE THEFOF THE NANO-DEVELOPMENT"
But a deal is a deal.
Everyone's free, and I
still have some work to finish.
Ah, Ekaterina Avramivna, let's talk.
Phew!
One more action scene and I'll be sick.
Well, finally it's all over!
The stolen Hope Diamond has been returned
to the museum, and now there is no need
to fear its mythological curse. The truth
is, we all fear something in life.
Lora was afraid she
would never get married.
Mark was afraid of failing
his operation and losing his job.
And I was afraid that they
would one day divorce.
But only the brave have happiness.
And we are gathered here
to celebrate our victory over our fears.
Marin regained her freedom and this watch.
It's all that remains of her
former fortune.
She gave up crime and
decided to become a tarot reader.
Well, to scam people legally.
These two also switched to the light side.
The inventor deceived
and used them.
Now they are in the witness
protection programme with new names:
Sarah and Clara. Or Nina and Zina?
Well, it doesn't matter.
And Katya not only got
the promotion she wanted,
but also found
the real owner of this body.
My love! Is there anything else you want?
And what about Mark and Lora?
They finally realised
that pompous weddings, careers,
and stamps in passports
and promotions are all temporary.
The only thing that matters is true love.
And me? I'm happy because
my family is together again.
Hold on, wait, wait, I think we
forgot something!
Ah, Serdyuchka!
WASHINGTON
There is a legend about
a diamond that never brought happiness,
but always brought fear of betrayal.
Kings would trade in
their queens for dancers,
marquises would cheat
on their husbands with young hunks,
and betrayed lords would end up in a duel.
And every time the Hope
diamond shone nearby,
someone would inevitably
suspect someone of betrayal.
But as long as the diamond remains safely
in the museum, it will not harm anyone.
THIS STRANGE STORY IS FICTION,
BUT WE WISH IT WERE REAL
ODESA
THREE MONTHS LATER
Oh, wait, hold on, I'm not ready.
Honestly, me neither.
Just breathe. Come on, breathe.
- It's his first time.
- Yeah.
Actually, I have a wedding today.
Any chance we could reschedule?
Oh, great, tomorrow's actually
my day off. Let's do it then.
Come back. We'll make it.
Breathe, breathe. You breathe too.
We're not gonna make it, Liud.
Have you ever done it in a hotel?
Well, you will now. Come on!
I don't want to give birth unmarried!
I swear I'll kill you!
God, it's so nice here!
And who's this little one we've got here?
Come on out, come on.
Mark!
Come on, push, push, just a bit more.
First time and already a success.
Lucky guy.
I did it, can you believe it?
It's a girl.
Hi there, my little one!
Oh, my God, she's beautiful!
Doesn't look like you at all.
Hi there, my little one!
And who else have we got here?
Come on, come on!
Look how quick he is.
You've got a bonus here, a boy.
What do you mean a boy?
A boy, a boy, a boy.
I saw it. Well, barely.
All right, quiet now,
calm down, it happens.
Wow! Lora Bohdanivna, today
you're like a 3D printer, honestly.
Congratulations, Mommy!
And this one, by the way,
looks just like you.
Mommy, another 57
are waiting for you.
Fifty-seven more.
Fifty-seven guests are already
waiting for you. Wake up.
What, had a nightmare?
Yeah.
It's not the first time: first you're
pregnant, then I'm pregnant.
And still unmarried.
And me? Am I pregnant?
You're not.
Oh, phew!
Where's Mark?
Will you be much longer?
Almost.
Listen, she's already
beautiful, just look at my girl.
- Mark, get lost!
- All right.
On the Internet, they say dreaming
about pregnancy means money.
Yeah, unless you get pregnant by an ATM.
Yes, add some hairspray.
Mom! Sonya knows what she's doing.
Volume, volume.
And brush it up. Like this.
Like Marilyn Monroe.
Aunt Sofa, that's already outdated.
What do you know?
Mum is style, Mum is classic.
Mummy has painted so many
stars at the Odessa Film Studio...
Oh, come on!
Mom, that was twenty years ago.
So what? In all that time,
fashion has only just caught up with me.
Really? And where are your stars now?
All in the archives.
Not all of them. This one still shines.
And now, are we waiting much longer?
Try this thing on.
Oh, my God, how beautiful!
- Aunt Sofa!
- What now?
Yes, I'm not nervous! I'm not nervous!
Yes, I'm nervous.
And why would I be nervous?
I'm not even married yet, and
everything already feels so alarming.
Okay, everyone be quiet!
Calm down.
Sit down, you're married.
Technically, you signed
the papers yesterday,
all that's left is to have the wedding.
Then you can get pregnant
to your heart's content.
Girls, seriously, we don't have time.
Ksyu!
Oh, Lord!
See? You're not the only one nervous.
But look. Sun, sea, beautiful weather,
everything will be fine.
Beautiful weather, you say?
If it rains at a wedding, that
means happiness. And money too.
Where are you taking
that? Put it here. Right here.
The wedding is in a
five-star hotel by the sea.
Our sea. The Black Sea.
Odesa is fantastic in any weather.
Everything will be fine. Really,
what could possibly go wrong?
They'll pick it up now. It's nothing.
Lord, only Mum could bring the spirit of
the House of Culture to a five-star hotel.
How beautiful you are!
My neighbours will think that
I didn't grow it myself,
but ordered it from a catalogue.
Oh, thank you, Mummy, for everything.
I tried my best, honey.
I don't see the photographer anywhere.
Don't worry, he's over there
photographing the guests.
Come on, I look fine, right? Go ahead!
Right, and where are the rings?
Lora...
One second.
Okay.
And where's Mark?
Mark... Mark...
And who's this olive?
Never seen her before.
Okay. Just a sec.
Oh, there you are. And you're
here from which side, exactly?
Excuse me?
From my fianc's side? Because
you're not on my guest list.
I'm on my subordinate's side.
Kate.
Katya then. You didn't tell me.
Katya... Katya... you must
be from Privoz or something.
In our Interpol we have
Senior Agent Kate Zisman.
Lorik, there's just
one little detail, look...
Let's get married first...
Sure.
- And then we'll deal with all the details.
- Okay, okay.
We're not finished.
He only finishes with me.
I think he'll finish when I tell him to.
All right, girls, Lorik, let me explain
everything right now. Just a minute...
Are you getting married or what?
Everyone's waiting for you.
Say: "Wedding!"
Every wedding needs its
own cringe photo. Here it is.
Help yourselves, we'll start soon.
By the way, have you seen mom?
Marilyn Monroe style.
Oh, good afternoon, welcome, looking good.
Let's make it more cheerful. Hey, wedding!
Oh, my God, what is this, Odesa or what?
Hryhoriy!
Shoo, youngsters, I want
one with you, Hryhoriy.
Look here, Markivna. Gorgeous!
Now from this side... No, no,
no, from this angle. Please, darling.
The lipstick is too bright, isn't it?
Now smile, Markivna.
Hryhoriy, you're incredible!
It's mutual. I'm with you all evening
today. Thank you for watching.
This is fantastic! Well, what are you
standing here for? Let me mingle a little.
How's life in general? Look at
all these arches, flowers - wow!
So, how do you like the whole set-up?
All of this is Sofia Markivna's work.
Dear relatives, dear guests,
the magical moment has come
when our bachelor turns into a real man...
And loses half of his
female followers, because
real men never show
up on the For You page.
Listen, let's skip the show. Just
marry us already, Hrysha. Come on!
Oh, you know, my friend,
a wedding isn't a show.
Here you can't just say:
"Let's shoot another take."
And you can't press the
"choose another" button.
Calm down!
And you can't run backstage
when things get scary.
I'm not going to run away
backstage and look for someone else.
Grisha, can you hurry
up and marry me or not?
Those who rush will make
the whole country laugh.
You're rushing like
someone's waiting for you.
Save the rush for the divorce.
I'm not planning to get divorced.
Just marry us already, please.
All right, let's continue
without commercial breaks.
Please welcome the bride, Lora!
- Hi!
- Hi!
Listen, Lorik, I need
to tell you something.
I know.
You do?
Yes, I do. This arch is a disaster.
It's Mom, just bear with it.
Mom!
Start already!
The moment has come
to ask you the most important question.
Mark, are you ready
to spend your whole life...
Yes, yes, yes.
...to cherish, to carry her in your arms...
I'm telling you, I'm ready.
- Lora, are you ready to share...
- Yes.
...to appreciate...
I already said yes.
You're just the perfect couple.
Perhaps someone here objects?
Nobody objects. Just kiss already,
my phone's dying.
And as a sign of your sincere
feelings, exchange the rings.
I... I have nothing to do with this.
Mark?
How should I know?
Mark!
Sensational theft: we have received new
details from the Washington museum,
where one of the most
expensive jewels in the world,
the Hope Diamond,
was stolen a month ago.
From our own sources we obtained
a photo of the main suspect
in the museum robbery.
But investigators
still have no information
about who she is or where she is now.
He's been kidnapped.
Mark's been kidnapped.
Your little brother is just a crybaby.
Oh, right. Maybe we should ask his
boss, she might know something.
Exactly! Where did she go?
Yeah, where did she go? She's
gone. Maybe they ran away together?
What? What are you talking about?
What? What did I say?
She's probably making up a
whole movie in her head right now.
Or maybe not a movie. Maybe it's true?
Just forget those fantasies!
Come on, come on, come on...
I feel like something bad happened.
He's an Interpol agent, maybe he was
framed and kidnapped
to harvest his organs.
Or taken into sexual slavery.
What slavery? In bed, he's like TikTok:
fast, loud, and absolutely useless.
Aunt Sofa!
What do you mean "Aunt Sofa"? Me too!
The whole Odesa has heard,
but still no grandchildren.
Mom!
What, "Mom"? You made a
scandal in front of all Odesa.
And now no husband,
no belly, only dreams about pregnancy.
All right, stop!
That's the last thing we
clearly remember from
the wedding, and after
that, it's all a blur.
Those little bastards!
Illiterate idiots. They could've at least
paid for the subscription.
Oh, my God!
That's wrong too.
You'd be better off reading books.
First time I wake up like this in Arcadia.
Trust the expert: this is not Arcadia.
How did we even end up... here?
Imagine it was Katya. Come on!
Fuck, that's 20 grand down the drain!
We're just completely different.
Like a cat and a dog.
I'm all proud and beautiful, like you,
and he's a flea-ridden mutt.
Yes! Oh my God, princess!
I don't want to go anywhere anymore.
Come with us.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, where are you going?
There's sausage
and Prosecco. Come with us!
Let's go!
Oh, our transfer.
Load her in!
Bulgaria. Bulgaria. Bulgaria.
By the way, this is a Bulgarian princess.
Look, a tiara. God, how beautiful!
Let me go home.
No, he doesn't understand. One second.
Jamn. Jamn, please. One second.
Oh, a free cash register.
A free cash register!
Sonya, hand over our passports too.
Sonya, Son, what's going on?
Everything's fine, I've sorted it out.
We're going to Bulgaria,
I don't understand?
Oh, God!
Sonya!
Sonya!
Wait, wait, wait!
Sonya's a scatterbrain.
I told her she had to renew her passport.
If there are less than six months
left, they won't let you out.
Why the hell are we in Bulgaria?
Oh, a while ago, I put
parental control on Mark's phone.
We checked and he's in Bulgaria.
So we came to rescue him.
We did?
I'll check where he is now.
I'm not going anywhere.
He made his choice.
Lora, Lora...
That's it. That's it...
Lora, Lora... what do we have to lose?
We're already here.
Let's find him and figure it out.
If it's really his choice,
then you'll let him go.
But then when you're old,
sitting at home alone with ten dogs,
you won't regret
losing the love of your life
without knowing the truth.
I like cats.
But I need to change.
I have to look my best.
No problem.
BULGARIA
We go this way.
No, that way. Turn it around.
Right, right.
Over there, to the right.
Oh, God!
Lora!
My legs are falling off already.
You said it was close.
It is close. Come on, come on, come on.
Looks like we need
to go the other direction.
Where are we supposed to go?
Damn it, my dress!
Maybe I should drive?
Let's just take a taxi.
You said it's close.
We're going the right way, right?
Yes, it's here. Straight ahead.
Lora, here. Left, left.
Sadist, damn it! On the
highway it's faster than in
traffic jams. Have you
seen any traffic jams here?
Sorry! I asked the taxi driver what
was faster. How was I supposed to know
that in Bulgarian "yes" means "no"
and "no" means "yes"?
Okay, we go that way.
The car?
Those are ours.
I can hear that.
Those are ours.
I can see that.
Familiar faces.
I'd rather forget them.
Just say the word and
I'll give you amnesia.
You'd better not mess with karma.
What, you gonna run me
over with your bucket of bolts?
Easy, baby. It's vintage.
Well, I can see that. You'd
better learn to park properly.
All right, girls, let's calm down.
We'll compensate your vintage.
Relax, it's insured.
No problem, full casco.
Yes, he's somewhere here.
So where's your precious brother?
We have to search everything.
Maybe they're even keeping him
in a basement somewhere.
Oh, Slava.
Who?
Slava Tymoshenko, our artist.
She studied at Sotheby's Institute
in London.
Let's ask her.
I noticed long ago that
art and wine are similar.
Both reveal more than just the soul.
Slava, hi! Unexpected meeting.
Hi! By the way, how's your painting
"When Will You Get Married?"
Not so great. I'd rather paint a new
one, "When Will You Get Divorced?"
By the way, do you
remember my brother Mark?
The younger one.
Yes, yes. Have you seen him here?
No.
Well then, here's to
divorce. Divorce is art too.
A bold theme, but you need inspiration.
I'd say, you need a hero.
Oh, I've got one. A hero-asshole. He's
really good at messing up people's lives.
Lora!
Oh, there he is.
The blond one?
That's him.
I'm about to mess that dyed idiot up.
Lora! Lora, get a grip.
What are you doing here?
Checking if you've been
taken into sexual slavery.
Ladies, this really isn't a good time.
Why don't you take a walk outside?
Right, darling?
Is that mine?
No, it's hers.
Mark! This is...
Quiet! Don't make a
scene. I'll explain everything.
Well, you're an asshole.
Listen...
Actually, I was first.
Take your hands off me or I'll break them.
How dare you? Lora!
Well, karma just pulled up.
Karma isn't justice, it works fast.
Lora! Something's wrong
here. You need to calm down.
What now?
A month of preparation... in the drain.
No, down the drain.
Relax, I'll sort everything out.
Your nervous relatives
already sorted it out for you.
You need to calm down, hear me?
What's with this chocolate bar?
Give it to me.
I'll show you...
I'll decide myself when I go home.
We lost.
Oh, Big-lips.
If you mean beating
you at tic-tac-toe, sure.
But the criminal world is chess.
Great, so you changed your mind after all.
Why did you dye your hair?
Just a little disguise.
Since when do you speak Ukrainian?
Two months in a cell, a couple seasons
of The Bachelor and here we are.
A CONVICTED SWINDLER
RECRUITED BY INTERPOL
CODENAME "BIG LIPS"
Right. Then you can go back to your
cell and keep watching it. You're late.
Then you can go back to your
cell and keep watching it.
You're late.
I came just in time to save your asses.
Your operation, if the deal is still on.
And how are you going to do
that? She cancelled the meeting.
I'll arrange a new one.
They don't say no to me.
Suppose so.
Wow, awesome! The game
continues, but let's stay cool.
Yes, I need to explain everything to Lora.
Sit down. Do you want to
ruin the operation again?
Listen, I think we're being watched.
I've seen those two somewhere.
Looks like they're her accomplices.
Fine, then we stick to the
legend: you're my fianc.
Kiss me.
- I can't.
- You can.
I don't want to.
You do.
Listen, I'm not doing it.
Lora, a strange man,
an island, aren't you scared?
Everything I was afraid
of has already happened.
- You will. I won't.
- You will.
Checkmate. We're back in the game.
It's not close, we have to drive there.
I'll drive. See, I've arranged everything.
While you were fixing things here,
this pretty boy fixed things over there.
Oh, Bulgarian pepper!
Ksyu, look, I think that's the island.
We've been driving for a while.
The navigation system isn't working.
Are we going in the right direction?
Where are you going? I'm
driving. Let go! I've got it!
Wait, stop! Let go!
Will you stop already?
I'm the driver! What are
you doing, are you crazy?
Are we there yet?
Interesting... is there
anyone else on this island?
What worries me more
is the terrible signal here.
Maybe you should call Mark?
I don't call exes.
Meaning?
I got divorced.
What? When did you manage that?
This morning, at "Diya". That's
it, free and independent.
You know, Lora, that's too much.
Isn't betrayal too much?
I didn't know him at all,
and I see you didn't either.
Is there any signal?
I don't have any.
Who would've doubted!
Mark, Mark,
come here!
Shit!
Why the hell did I even bring you along?
Because I'm the brain of this operation.
You? The brain?
And where exactly do you keep it, huh?
Here? Or here?
Listen, don't touch me.
If it weren't for you, I'd have wrapped
this whole thing up already, okay?
You can't do anything without me.
You couldn't even get married.
That's because of you!
You rushed our operation.
You ruined my wedding.
You dragged me out of my own wedding!
Otherwise that old woman would've
sold the diamond to someone else.
Sold it? To whom?
Listen, it was me, I made
up this whole story...
To get Big-lips...
Sorry.
To get this crime boss to
want to buy the Hope Diamond,
I prepared two hundred
million marked euros,
and I can complete this operation myself.
Without you. Because you
just took it and... just... you just...
What?
You just tagged along,
that's all. Got it?
I tagged along?
Yes. You just tagged along.
I'm running this operation.
And just so you know, you're suspended!
I'm... what?
I'm not working with you anymore!
Fine by me. I'm not working with
you either. You didn't fire me, I quit.
I just did! Don't yell at me!
I quit myself! I quit, that's it!
Now I'll handle everything myself.
Idiot.
Maybe your other side is better?
HONEY, EVERYTHING IS OK WE ARE ON
AN ISLAND, I WILL TEXT YOU LATER.
You want some?
I'll grab some water.
Oh, I got a little wet.
What, have you fallen
for this Bulgarian pepper?
Oh, God, the jokes are
just like your brother's.
Don't ruin my vibe.
Look, don't ruin your life.
It's dripping...
Oh, my darling's calling.
Hello, Teo!
Hello! Honey, can you hear me?
I see you've already stopped
four guys in their tracks.
Well, then maybe Mr Brain
will save the situation somehow?
No, no, no. You're the head
of the operation. I'll let you handle it.
Why do we need brains
when we've got muscles?
What the hell?
Take your shirt off. Time
to work with what we've got.
And just so you know, only one
woman gets to pour water on me, got it?
Are you spying on us?
On them, no.
Only for you.
Karina.
Alina.
Nice. Are you sisters?
Mark, I hope you haven't
forgotten about your fiance.
And your sister.
I've been officially
relieved of my family duties.
No, no, no, don't you dare!
He took the case with
the money, that bastard!
He took the case but forgot the brains.
I changed the code.
How do we get there now?
It's barely a walk. Let's go!
Hello! Teo!
There's money on
the island but no proper Wi-Fi.
Hold on...
Some kind of map...
Oh, that must be our island.
Hello, Teo!
Hello, can you hear me?
Can you hear me? I'll send you
our location just in case. Hello!
Yes, yes, okay.
We won't make it like this.
I have an idea.
I can't...
There he is, there! There!
Knocking woodpecker!
Careful, careful.
Looks like life's been rough on you.
And I see you've sorted everything out!
What's up? Did your girlfriends dump you?
What girlfriends?
I told you, I'm a one-woman man.
Without money, you're useless to anyone.
Technically, I have the case and you
have the password. So it's one-one.
We still have another meeting location.
I'm not apologising.
All right. Apology accepted.
You're back on the team.
Careful!
All right, that's enough of me.
I need food. Anyone got cash?
Everything's under arrest.
Maybe...
Don't even think about it. They're marked.
God, maybe I should just
run your Interpol already?
You'll be lost without me.
Three shawarmas for Rolexes, Bulgaria's
getting more expensive by the minute.
Eat up. You're skinny as a toothpick.
Aren't you scared of, like...
What, I dream about it.
Look at these sushi sticks.
A woman has to be tasty
so there's something to chew on.
The sauce is amazing.
Sauce isn't for the weak.
Yeah, that's true.
That Bulgarian pepper again.
Sit down!
Kid, are you following us now?
Lora, I don't get it, do
you really like him that much?
You're just sitting there like...
Ksyu, come on. We're sitting here
just fine. Why are you being so dramatic?
I'm young, beautiful, single, at the
seaside, and I'm going to get what I want.
Watch it, little dickhead!
I'll get water.
Fine. Put it on ice.
Those two are here too.
Oh, my God! He got beaten up
like that for the last time at school.
Where are you going? Sit down!
Serves him right. I actually feel better.
Darling! That must hurt, right?
What's going on?
Those two again.
Kiss me.
What? Are you serious?
Listen, they don't look
like professional spies at all.
Maybe that's the plan. Maybe
they're pretending to be spies
so we think they're not spies,
while they actually are.
That's confusing. So
we should act like idiots
so nobody thinks we're
real idiots, or what?
Exactly.
What is this, some Turkish soap opera?
I need some air. Alone.
You really are an idiot, brother.
I guess this is the end for Mark and Lora.
Seriously?
I don't know what has to happen
for them to get back together.
They're like a cat and a dog.
Maybe I should come after all?
No need. Tomorrow's our last day and
we'll go home. But I miss you so much.
I love you very much.
I love you too. Thank you for
understanding and for being there for me.
We love you and can't
wait for you to come home.
And finally, dessert.
Time's up. The meeting's in two hours.
Let's go!
Mark, listen to me. This is your
last chance to stay in the service.
Work comes first, then personal stuff.
Listen, Lora betrayed you.
Get her out of your head
and finally get focused
on the operation,
because if the deal falls through,
you and I are screwed.
Okay, fine, okay...
Where's the location?
Finally! Ah, it's there.
I thought "Wine Valley" was a restaurant.
"WINE VALLEY" 50 KM AWAY
FROM THE SEA
Who schedules deals in a vineyard?
An alcoholic. Who else?
All right. Helicopters only on my signal.
Copy.
Let's go over the plan again.
You!
I'll ask her to show the
diamond and check if it's real.
Good. You?
I wait for the signal from Big-lips...
Sorry.
If everything's fine,
I hand over the marked bills.
If she takes them, I grab her. That's it.
Then you give the
signal to secure the area.
Great. Now we just
need to find where she is.
It says she's on location.
Where? Where exactly?
I think that's her.
Target in twenty metres. Get ready.
Ready.
Lora, you again? How did you...
Sit down before you fall.
Bravo. I underestimated you again.
Exactly.
And I'm tired of trying to be
noticed, appreciated, praised.
One beautiful day I realised
I deserve only the best,
even the most expensive
diamond in the world.
Our precious one, shall we make the deal?
Show me the money.
Show her the money.
Zero, zero, zero.
Three zeros. "The brain of
the operation," you said...
200 000 000 - 10 000 000 - CASH
190 000 000 - CRYPTO KEY
Stone for inspection.
Here.
Mark!
Ah, money! Where's the money, Lora?
You and Lora planned
this cleverly, didn't you?
This is a set-up.
Who's the client?
I'm telling you,
it's a set-up. Let's figure it out.
All right. Let's figure it
out. You're under arrest.
I'm under you!
Okay.
She's the client. She's the one who
ordered it.
Yes, Big-lips. It was her plan.
You're the client?
Fuck you! What plan?
Enough. Quiet. You're both under arrest.
Look! Lora! Lora!
Look! Mark! Stop!
Right.
My career is over.
Not over. Mark will lead you to the money
and the diamond, and I'll lead you to him.
How?
My hairpin is a tracker.
Connection restored.
Status? Orders? Over.
Stand down. Return to base.
Team three will pick you up.
Stand down, I said. I'll get there myself.
Copy.
So how do we get there?
Same way as always, I guess.
No!
Yes.
Meanwhile, the adventure
became even more complicated.
Mark impulsively saved Lora from arrest,
and Katya and Marin formed a
temporary female alliance
to catch Mark and return
the stolen diamond.
And now my brother was an outlaw.
He was forced to hide from
Interpol in order to find Lora
and get to the bottom of the truth.
And I, suspecting nothing,
returned to the island for Lora
to pick her up and end
our unsuccessful trip.
Lora!
Why is this party so lame?
It's my birthday today.
What birthday, Lora?
Hey! Put on a decent song.
Just not "Serdyuchka".
Ukraine, Ukraine.
Traitor! But I've loved her since school.
No, I behaved badly too, I ran away from
the wedding, but that doesn't mean that...
Well, you understand... Here.
We're like cats and dogs.
I'm kind and brave.
Well, like you.
And she turned out to
be a treacherous cat.
Actually, she... Hey, you...
Aren't you going to listen till the end?
Well, get out of here! Understand?
I thought you were a friend...
but you turned out to be a bitch.
Sorry, there is currently no connection.
The subscriber is out of coverage.
The main thing is that she's happy.
Careful, careful!
What is it, Lora?
Cheers!
Oh no, no, no.
You don't drink?
I do, but I don't feel like it.
Well... I kind of do, but rarely.
Actually, I feel like it quite often,
but it's better if I don't drink.
Today. Just dance!
She's my friend!
Oh, hi.
Well, at least you
picked up the phone. Hi!
What's up? How are you?
How am I? Not great. Do
you even know where I am?
Of course. In Bulgaria.
Maybe you also know
that Lora and Ksyo are here?
Yes.
Wait, maybe you know
where they are right now?
Mark, I know. Where?
On the island.
Send the location.
Seriously, like a cat and a dog.
Lora!
What the fu... hell is this crap?
Now I definitely need a drink.
And I need you to wrap it up.
The concert is over.
Is that artificial intelligence?
But this time we ended up on
the yacht against our will.
And in the morning
we realised that he
had covered his tracks.
And say hi to the little one from us.
By the way, he was right. We saved you.
We need to get to shore.
I won't make it to shore.
What do you mean you won't? You will.
I'm a bad swimmer.
How can you be bad? You're from Odesa.
That's not a reason to swim well!
Lora! Lora! Lora!
Lean on me.
I love you.
I love you too.
And I love your brother too.
Tell that idiot.
Lora, no!
That idiot can hear you!
And he loves you very much too.
Mark! Mark!
Why are you shouting? He's right here.
Mark!
Easy, girls. Hold on.
Mark! Help! Ow!
Oh! Oh, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sis. Sorry. Come on.
Mark! Help! Lora, Lora.
Give me your hand. Come on.
Give me your hand.
Take your hand away! I can do it myself!
Just help her!
I am helping! Come on,
come on, come on. Easy, Lorik.
Mark.
Blankets.
I would've saved myself anyway.
Oh, quiet already, Lor!
Oh! Careful.
Thank you, Mark. Thank you for saving us.
Lora!
Thanks. Traitor!
You're welcome, crook.
Mark!
Where's the diamond?
What diamond?
Actually... where is the diamond?
I don't see it either.
Last time I saw it
was in your Katya's hands.
I'm talking about the Hope Diamond.
Where is it?
Wait, you mean that stolen diamond?
And where are the two hundred million?
Did you dye your hair or fry your brains?
Good thing I broke up with you.
I'm not spending money on a psychiatrist.
I think I know...
Shh. What did you just say?
What you heard.
Why the hell did you give
my ring to your Katya?
That was a professional necessity.
Of course. That changes everything.
It was a special operation,
you understand? An emergency operation.
That's why I had to run away
from the wedding. You understand?
And Katya...
According to the legend, we're engaged.
Then go fuck your legend!
But I don't want her! I want you.
Both of you calm down!
I know where the diamond is.
Where?
Here's the video.
That's transformation.
It's the newest Interpol technology.
Some special agent you are.
You couldn't tell me apart from a man.
Lorik...
I ruined this whole operation for you.
Everyone's looking for us now.
If we don't find the money
or that damn diamond,
we're done.
But I'll figure something out.
I will never leave you.
I know.
I know where his next stop is. Here.
This is the map from his tablet.
And this is today's date.
We need a new boat.
And... dry clothes.
And dry clothes.
Right, let's go, it's there.
Yes, sure.
Agent with the call sign
"Bachelor," target number one.
The bag, the bag.
We continue surveillance.
I told you, this family sticks together.
Ow!
Careful, careful. Lorik, don't fall.
Wait. Let's test your theory.
Mark came up with a great
plan, to get the diamond
and the money back and
arrest the Bulgarian pepper.
Hush, they'll hear us now.
All of Bulgaria can hear
you! I said: stay in the boat!
And why are you giving orders here?
We were just really worried about you.
Oh yeah? Who was worried?
Can you speak normally?
You stay here guarding the Prosecco.
Keep an eye on it. That's it.
Mayday, Mayday, SOS, SOS.
Alpha-one, Bravo-two, Echo-three,
does anyone hear me?
There's money on
the yacht, but no normal radio.
No money and no diamond.
And that Bulgarian pepper is gone too.
Losers!
Found it! I found the case.
The case, the money, everything's here.
What?
No panic. I'll defuse it now. Easy.
It's a bomb!
What are you doing? No-no-no-no!
Sis, you've helped enough.
So can we panic now?
And now we all have to jump.
Targets, targets! To the
boat, quick! Come on! Move!
That bastard's escaping! Step on it, Mark!
Easy! Easy! Girls, hold on,
don't be afraid. Hear me?
Go, go!
Rock! Watch out! Mark!
Lora, get up.
Breathe. Lora, breathe.
Lora, how are you?
Where's Mark? Mark?
Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!
Mark! Mark, how could you leave me again?
He's coming... He's coming up now.
Mark! I love his dramatic entrances.
You will be tried in court. Surprise!
You're under arrest.
Arrested.
All of you are under arrest.
Every single one. I've always
dreamed of saying that.
INTERPOL'S SECREINTERROGATION HEADQUARTERS
Astronomical torture as a
new interrogation method?
Camembert works better than a polygraph.
Listen, why are you pouting?
I'll explain everything now.
I already know everything.
You told Lora about our secret operation.
What?
He told you something?
And in this fraudster's head
a plan appeared,
to steal both the money and the stone.
I thought she'd been locked up long ago.
This snake wants revenge on our family.
Yeah.
You liked her plan and
decided to set me up.
But you didn't have enough
brains to make checkmate.
You think this was chess?
This was tic-tac-toe,
and you're a complete zero.
They'll cross you out too if
you keep listening to Big-lips. Got it?
The facts are against you and your family.
Facts are fragments.
I'll assemble them into
the real picture and
show it to you, got it?
He'll set you up again.
Listen, I once just arrested her,
and this is simple revenge.
So.
You have five minutes.
Great. I only need one.
You can keep the
other six for the ovation.
The other four.
He's a humanities guy.
So, our Bulgarian
pepper has a little secret.
Oh!
Yes. Recognise it?
That's our stolen prototype.
Impossible.
Possible.
Looks like ordinary
chewing gum, but actually...
That's classified information.
It was.
But in reality, it's a secret
nanotechnology development
with artificial intelligence
that, during a kiss, reveals
a person's DNA
and completely copies
their appearance, voice, and even clothes.
Yes. There were five such discs in total,
one remained in our organisation,
which was involved in its development.
But four disappeared along
with the creator of this device.
Exactly. I suspect the second
one was used to steal the diamond.
The woman we never managed to find.
Exactly.
All right, continue.
The third record was a
mistake because... because Lorik
would never have let
herself be kissed right away.
But he managed to use the fourth one.
By the way, she... she kisses very well.
He transformed into Lora
at the vineyard meeting.
He wanted to turn us
against each other, you see.
All right, let's say I understand
why you fought so desperately
for your significant other.
But what about the fifth one?
You all want to know
where the fifth plate went?
EX-INTERPOL DEVELOPER
CODENAME "SCHOOLBOY"
Welcome back, Yosyp Lvovych!
Greetings!
Lorik, you kissed this old man?
No, no. I kissed a handsome guy
who apparently kissed this old man
before that.
Ugh!
Hold on! Why did you decide to use her?
Fortunam manu tenere et.
What?
It means "to hold fortune
in your hand." It's Latin.
Because she is your weak
spot. When I saw your
quarrel, I realised right
away, it was love.
Something's not right.
And using her beauty, I
could get both the money and
the diamond, and confuse the trail.
I am a genius!
You're a creepy old pervert.
I'm a genius. A brilliant engineer. Golden
hands. And this gum is my invention.
With which you disappeared, traitor.
Just don't try to manipulate me. I devoted
my whole life to working for the secret
services. And what did I get? A cottage
near a cemetery. They wrote me off like an
old floppy disk. And then I realised that
I had to take my fate into my own hands.
You're a murderer! You tried to
blow us up when we were on the yacht.
Yes.
It was the next scientific
experiment. And by the way,
how was it? I can
exchange it for freedom.
Take him away.
Welcome back to the cell.
I am a genius. I deserve
the most expensive diamond
in the world. I am worthy.
Fortunam manu tenere.
Well then, agent, congratulations.
All secrets revealed.
Well done! I'm just curious
who used the first chewing gum.
And I'm curious when they'll release us.
That's not all.
Ekaterina Avramivna, finally!
How nice it is to finally
be in my own body.
INTERPOL ART CRIME UNIT CHIEF
CODENAME "MADONNA"
Oh, how I missed you.
You know, the world
without you felt... well... flatter.
Don't flatter me. I was a bit of a bitch...
Huh? A bit?
Maybe it was a side effect of that,
but most likely I was
just constantly hungry.
Now... That's it!
Agent Bachelor, well done!
You solved two cases at once.
Congratulations on your promotion.
What about me? I cracked it too.
You cracked your mouth open a lot.
CASE NO 1 "THE THEFOF THE HOPE DIAMOND"
NO 2 "THE THEFOF THE NANO-DEVELOPMENT"
But a deal is a deal.
Everyone's free, and I
still have some work to finish.
Ah, Ekaterina Avramivna, let's talk.
Phew!
One more action scene and I'll be sick.
Well, finally it's all over!
The stolen Hope Diamond has been returned
to the museum, and now there is no need
to fear its mythological curse. The truth
is, we all fear something in life.
Lora was afraid she
would never get married.
Mark was afraid of failing
his operation and losing his job.
And I was afraid that they
would one day divorce.
But only the brave have happiness.
And we are gathered here
to celebrate our victory over our fears.
Marin regained her freedom and this watch.
It's all that remains of her
former fortune.
She gave up crime and
decided to become a tarot reader.
Well, to scam people legally.
These two also switched to the light side.
The inventor deceived
and used them.
Now they are in the witness
protection programme with new names:
Sarah and Clara. Or Nina and Zina?
Well, it doesn't matter.
And Katya not only got
the promotion she wanted,
but also found
the real owner of this body.
My love! Is there anything else you want?
And what about Mark and Lora?
They finally realised
that pompous weddings, careers,
and stamps in passports
and promotions are all temporary.
The only thing that matters is true love.
And me? I'm happy because
my family is together again.
Hold on, wait, wait, I think we
forgot something!
Ah, Serdyuchka!