Wild Wild Punjab (2024) Movie Script

1
Hey...
No going down there.
- Stay up.
- Why are we at a farm then?
We could have gone to the theatre.
- Come again?
- Come on, you trust me, right?
Gimme a minute, okay?
Hey, Jain, buddy...
What was I saying earlier today?
Stomach is upset since three days
and you're constantly farting,
anywhere and anytime.
Fucking idiot!
What did I say this "afternoon"?
You said
that you're madly in love with Ginni.
Like true love, man.
You can't live without her.
Would Juliet ever tell Romeo...
that "Romeo, baby,
you ain't going down there, only up here."
This is the problem with people nowadays,
everything is superficial.
Real love is never appreciated.
My uncle just became the commissioner.
Dare you lie...
- I will complain...
- Let me make this clear.
Tell your uncle that real lovers
aren't afraid of anything,
So doesn't matter
if we are down or up there.
Swear on Jain?
I swear on Jain, Ginni, my love.
MAAN ARORA
CASANOVA - ILLEGITIMATE
Maan Arora, age 26 years.
He refused to study in school and now,
he wouldn't leave college.
He got in through sports quota.
And with sports quota, whatever you get...
You just tap into it.
I swear on Jain.
Oh, yes...
- What's going on?
- Hang on a sec.
Hey, Jain!
- Ginni, tell him you love him.
- Loser, take your phone.
GAURAV JAIN
HIS FATHER'S ONLY CHILD
Gaurav Jain.
Since childhood,
his Dad has whacked him so much that...
Dad, the toy broke.
...now he can't even utter...
Dad, I fixed it.
...a word before him.
Here, brother.
Got some sweets for you.
They're tasty!
Our girl will be yours
once she finishes college.
- Here you go.
- Couldn't agree more.
I want her home as soon as she graduates.
Yes, for sure.
Tara,
I'm strictly against dowry.
The elders are handling it.
I don't have a problem with it.
If you do, talk to your Dad about it.
I'm fine.
Who'll talk to Dad?
Looks good.
Listen carefully, you fucker.
They've already given 2.5 million,
and will give 2.5 million more
after the wedding.
If you screw this up for me,
I'll go back 26 years
and use a damn condom.
Got it? Do you understand?
Dad, I'll be there soon.
No, son, why bother coming all the way
at this time?
I will come over there.
Dad, Arora was getting some...
Oh, so you're dishing it out
to Arora today?
No, I meant...
He was getting something from the market.
Hey, son, if you wanna chauffeur
your buddies around,
first you get the car of your own
and build your self worth.
- All right.
- Now hang up, damn it!
I'm holding a drink.
She messed up the roof real bad.
She's stretchable, dude. Chill!
You mean she's flexible.
Yeah, whatever. Still not my fault, right?
No, bro, why would it be your fault?
It's my fault.
My first mistake, being friends
with a selfish person like you.
I let you use my car,
that's my second mistake.
I let you use it again and again,
that's my third mistake.
You say ten minutes,
but take 50 minutes and I am still cool.
That's my mistake, too.
No, that's my mistake.
I'll put my money on the blade, you know?
Place your bets quick, time's almost up.
- Five hundred for the blade.
- Hand it over, man.
- I'll bet ten.
- Here, for the blade.
Wait your turn, dude.
- Why are you jostling?
- What's going on?
They're betting on how Khanna will die.
With a knife or a blade.
- Obviously blade!
- Give it to me.
Damn, he looks really serious.
Let's find out what's going on.
Look away, man!
My friend's dying
and they want entertainment.
Hey, Khanna, what's up?
All right, let's just do this, okay?
Jainu, I think
knife would be a good choice.
No, Arora. Blade's the way to go, Khanna.
I say knife's the way to go.
Knives are swift.
Blades make a bloody mess.
Blood dribbling all over, it's tacky.
I've actually seen two people dying.
It happens real quick.
Who were they?
None of your business.
Blades are the best.
Swear on Jain, knife is the best!
Why do you always swear on me, Arora?
- 'Cause I love you.
- Don't listen to him.
Try the blade. The best option.
- Knife is best.
- No, use a blade.
- Knife!
- Blade!
- I said, knife!
- Blade!
Knife!
I'll first write a suicide note
and then die.
RAJESH KHANNA
HEARTBROKEN LOVER
Meet Rajesh Khanna!
Hello!
Just three months back, he used to say,
"Buddy, even if life ain't great,
it should be long."
Because he wanted to spend every moment
with his girlfriend Vaishali,
who works the night shift
- at the same company as him.
- Hello!
Oh, Khanna!
Thank you!
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
- You got me coffee?
- I only got two, sir.
- Give me yours.
- Sir, you take Vaishu's.
We'll share, okay?
Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to me!
Happy...
Rinky, where's Vaishali?
Who writes greetings in a suicide note?
It's my suicide note,
I can start it however I want.
Whatever.
Here's your order, guys.
Just put it down.
Here you go.
Laamba?
Yes?
Why is the kadhi red?
Well, the chef changed up some spices.
Come again?
- The chef changed...
- I'll change your little dick!
Who do you think you are
to come change my life?
How can anyone come
and change stuff in my life?
- Try it out.
- What is the point?
What am I even gonna get outta it?
Not bad.
Exactly my point.
- Not bad at all.
- I gotta say something.
The vibe here's too depressing.
Let's change the vibe.
Once you start sipping on chilled scotch
in Radisson's heated pool,
you'll forget about
that Veshya real quick.
Her name's Vaishali.
Whatever.
- You'll come, right?
- Good boy.
How much cash you got in the account?
Around 55?
Perfect, we'll only use 50.
You'll still have seven left.
How seven?
Jainu, call your dad and tell him
we'll be there for the car.
Call my dad right now?
- Yeah.
- Now?
- Don't be a wuss...
- Bro, your scooter is blocking a car.
Here, you do it yourself.
- I'll handle it.
- Damn, it was so hard to convince him.
Image, three adorable dudes
rolling up to the Radisson
tripling on a scooter?
Won't that be a shame?
We need a frickin' car, dude!
I know, Channo,
but you should try to get it.
I gotta hang out with them too.
Yeah, for sure.
Don't worry, I'll be back on time.
Bye, catch you later.
What's he doing here, man?
Sort out the bill, dude.
Thanks, man. Thanks a ton.
Shunty!
Take it easy with the rotis.
MR. HONEY SINGH
PUNJABI DADDY'S BOY
Mr. Honey Singh.
The only heir to Charan Singh's transport
business consisting of 50 trucks.
He's got two weaknesses.
- First weakness...
- Hey!
His late father.
Why is Papaji's mustache pointing down?
Bro...
it's pointed down in that picture.
He was in a bad mood that day, that's why.
But if he was still around,
he'd be in a good mood, right?
- True.
- Right?
Make sure they're pointed up, you fuckwit...
Hurry up, you damn...
Calm down, babe.
And that's his second weakness.
His sweetheart...
Back away, please...
you'll scratch it.
Paro!
Thank you.
What's up, kiddos?
We've already downed six drinks, bro.
You'll have to catch up.
Kiddo, six drinks are running
in my blood since birth.
- Awesome.
- How you doing, Jainu?
Long time never see.
- Someone get me a glass.
- Bro.
Khanna, my man!
What's wrong?
His faced is messed up like Jain.
Bro, his ex, Veshya... I mean, Vaishali.
She ditched him
and is now marrying his boss.
Oh, I see.
Poor guy.
Hey...
Hello?
Are you fucking out of your mind, Khanna?
Vaishu?
Couldn't you pretend to be dead
for a few days?
Why don't you just come here
and be the DJ,
the priest, and give me away
at my wedding as well!
What did I do?
What did you do? You're such a dumbass...
Listen to me very carefully.
I'm getting married in two days.
Stop liking my photos on Naveen's Facebook
like there's no tomorrow!
How many times do I have to tell you
that we're over?
It's over! So stop your desperate
- and spineless acts...
- Vaishu...
Take it easy, dude.
Khanna?
Khanna?
Vaishu...
- Khanna?
- Listen to me, Khanna.
Give me the blade,
I want to spill my blood.
He is real stupid.
- Take a seat right here.
- Calm down, dude.
Sit here, chill out.
- All will be cool.
- She's tying the knot.
You accidentally hit like on a photo.
Hear me out, dude, just listen up.
- She's getting married!
- Give her a call!
Ring her up and reject her!
Girls like her can't handle
being turned down.
Those four words should torment her
on her wedding night.
- What four words?
- Sorry, three words.
"I'm over you!"
Call her!
Give her a call right now!
Will you do it or should I?
- No, Arora, don't...
- Boys...
Your idea is solid, but not your move.
Kiddo, you have a lion's face,
don't act like a timid little cat.
If you want to follow his plan
and hurt her,
then it can't be phone to phone,
it has to be face to face
or forget about it altogether.
- What say, Arora?
- Well said, bro.
Paro's parked outside,
what do you say we all head over there?
Okay?
You are right, bro.
We'll drive to Pathankot.
Right in front of all those people,
the guests, the family,
the whole office crew,
even that watchman, her beau Naveen,
and that fucking bitch,
I'm gonna straight-up tell her
to her face,
"I'm over you!"
That's my boy!
- I'm over you!
- I'm over you!
- I'm over you!
- I'm over you!
- I'm over you!
- I'm over you!
- Khanna? Buddy...
- I'm over you!
- Hear me out, dude.
- I'm over you!
- Khanna...
- I'm over you!
- I'm over you!
- I'm outta here.
Jainu, dude, listen to me.
Hold your horses, dude.
What's up with you?
Relatives are coming in two days.
I'm tying the knot next week.
- How can I come?
- Exactly!
Relatives in two days
and you're getting hitched next week.
So if not now, when the hell are we going?
- What about Dad?
- He ain't gonna have a clue, man!
It's gonna be a quick three-hour trip
without breaks.
We'll be back
before he even opens his eyes.
It's gonna be a breeze.
Yo, come on, give me a smile, Jainu.
Come on, show me those pearly whites.
I'm over you.
I'm over you.
I'm over you.
I'm over you!
WILD WILD PUNJAB
I'm over you!
- Louder.
- I'm over you!
- Hold this.
- I'm over you.
Say it with confidence, man.
I'm over you!
Louder!
I'm over you!
Say it with conviction!
- Take right, bro.
- I'm over you!
At the top of your voice, dude.
I'm over you!
- Go all out!
- I am over you...
You were supposed to make a right.
Huh?
Missed the right turn.
Way faster route by 15 minutes, bro.
Mr. Jain,
back in the day,
when building the highway, right,
my respected father used to drive
a cement truck on his own.
And now we got 50 trucks
cruising on this highway daily,
and now some chick sitting in Canada
will navigate the roads of Punjab for us?
I'm using Google Maps, bro.
- It's always accurate.
- Balls! What is he saying, huh?
Talk to your friend, fuckin'...
- I'm over you.
- Hey, Channo.
- Jainu, let's have a drink.
- Spare me.
That's messed up, babe.
But things were fine just
a little while ago.
It's okay, don't worry about it.
I'll hit you up once I get there.
We'll talk in detail.
Okay, Channo. Bye, Channo.
All good, bro?
Do we have to turn around and go back?
No, buddy.
Khanna's a priority right now.
Family stuff will be sorted out later.
Right, Khanna?
Oh, bro...
Thank you.
- How much?
- Just 53 bucks, bro.
Coming right up.
Now you'll tell us what we pay you?
He's just asking for toll money,
not begging.
I see, you can't hold
your liquor nowadays.
If you ain't begging,
show us a toll receipt.
We ran outta that this morning, bro.
Hey, listen up, man...
putting up barriers doesn't change
someone's true nature.
Come on, let's get going!
- Khanna!
- Okay.
No worries, dude.
Everyone's got their breaking point.
Just 'cause you got a big belly
doesn't mean you can hold your liquor.
Shut up!
How can you say that to him?
Hey! How dare you? Just wait.
- Why are you messing with him?
- No reason?
What about the things he said
about Khanna?
Where are you, weenie?
Arora, bro's doing just the same.
He's my buddy, I can mess with him.
I can even whack him.
- Right, Khanna?
- Anytime, bro.
Hey!
He's the one who smacked me.
Jain, listen up, you gotta do one thing,
keep the windows up and the car locked.
Arora, you think we can handle them?
C'mon, bro, they're already sorted.
All right, let's bounce.
He was gone for 12 years
and now he's back with a slap.
Smack them! Punch them!
Wakanda forever!
Hey!
Arora, don't punch.
Let's go, Arora.
- Stop!
- Pop that car open!
Get out here!
- Come out!
- I don't want your freakin' receipt. Shoo!
You motherfuckers!
Not the turban!
Let's not fight, bro.
What should I do, Jain?
We're gonna get beaten up.
Let me give you a 100? How about 150?
What the fuck are you doing?
Come out!
Help! Help us, bro!
Sorry...
Khanna?
Khanna?
What the hell are you doing?
I'm over...
you!
Have you fucking lost it, Khanna?
Fuck!
Let 'em go and save the money!
I'm over you!
Khanna! Respect, dude.
I'm over you!
Damn it, don't ditch me!
- Wait up!
- I'm over you!
- Come to papa!
- I'm over you!
Khanna, you are actually
pissing flames, dude!
Bring that same energy
when you talk to Vaishali.
Bro, you know,
when I tell her "I'm over you"...
I want some sick drums
beating in the background.
I need to feel it.
Hey, Arora, where's my whiskey at?
It's right here, man.
Wait, didn't I already give it to you?
Where are the damn glasses?
I pissed it all off.
You drank it all?
- We don't have any left?
- That's all we had, man.
- Come on. Don't say that.
- Bro...
What can bro do?
All the liquor stores will be closed now.
Don't be saying that, bro.
Then what the hell am I supposed to say?
Bro, take a left turn.
Don't be a Jain, man.
I am not consulting any map,
just have a look there.
Khanna, do we have time
for a quick drink break?
They're having a DJ night tonight, bro.
I'll let her know tomorrow morning,
while they're putting on henna.
Man, Arora, you said we'd reach there
in three hours!
- Go ahead and take a little sip.
- No, I'm all good.
Way to go, man!
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
O dear, do a makeup to my beloved
Celebrate this happy moment
Today is the auspicious day
Do a makeup to my beloved...
Vaishali's also gonna look
drop-dead gorgeous on her big day.
Khanna!
Jainu...
you know I've never done it with a bride?
Come on, man, hurry up.
I gotta get back home.
You know how Dad can be.
Quit whining like a baby, all right?
We ain't gonna stay here for too long.
Exactly, bro.
How about living your life for once, huh?
Who are we here for? Khanna!
If Khanna wants to drink,
then we drink too.
If he wants chicken, we eat chicken too.
Look at how happy he is.
You seriously
don't get what friendship is.
Bloody vegetarian!
Waiter!
Come on!
One more time!
Get us another bottle.
Come on!
Your beauty has me mesmerized
Your eyes are a devilish surprise
Your tone is like you come
From the land of Pakistan
Victoria holds all your secrets
I understand
You create chaos over trivial things
The drum of Jageero...
The drum of Jageero
Kicks up a furor
People are watching...
People are watching with amusement
The drum of Jageero...
The drum of Jageero...
Your eyes, like bullets
Pierce to my core
Darling, no need for alcohol
They all yearn to be intoxicated
By your eyes, I'm sure
The drum of Jageero...
Your eyes, like bullets
Pierce to my core
Darling, no need for alcohol
They all yearn to be intoxicated
By your eyes, I'm sure
Everyone raises a glass
In toast to you
And then the chaos ensues
As if on cue
The drum of Jageero...
The drum of Jageero
Kicks up a furor
People are watching...
People are watching with amusement
The drum of Jageero...
The drum of Jageero...
Mummy!
My clothes?
Oh, God, please forgive me.
Here are my clothes.
Let me pick my clothes.
Yo, drunktard! Wake up!
- Wake up, bro. Wake up, man.
- What time is it?
Vaishali is yet to marry right?
Get up first. Come, let's go.
- C'mon, guys, hurry up.
- Come over here.
Where are we, man?
No idea, bro.
WEDDING - 28 HRS
Jain...
Jain?
- Jain...
- Jain...
Where were you, dude?
My head is pounding like crazy.
I dunno what is going on.
Who's this dude?
Jiju is up and awake!
Hey, sis, Jiju's awake!
Jiju's awake?
Who is his jiju exactly?
Was that dancer his sister?
You are awake.
To my beloved...
Hello.
Hi.
Hello.
- Jain?
- Yeah?
You slept with the bride?
Cheater.
This ain't no Hangover movie!
When did all this
start happening for real?
It just doesn't happen like that, dude.
Chill, bro. Wanna grab a drink?
Khanna, you gotta quit drinking right now.
- This happened 'cause of this!
- You can't just get married.
Let's confirm it first.
Go, confirm it
with whoever the fuck you want.
Jiju, want some tea?
We had a blast last night.
- Yeah?
- I recorded a video.
No way, really? Show it to me.
Just a sec.
Here you go.
A pee for a pee, Khanna!
Doggie, sorry. Sorry.
Let me go, man.
Damn you, it was your fault.
Why did you pee on my car? Get off me!
What is this? Show us the wedding.
I didn't record the wedding.
But, Jiju, what you pulled off last night
is gonna be legendary
in this whole village.
What exactly did I do?
How can I let him go ahead
with the wedding?
The preparations got a bit delayed.
This wasn't what we agreed upon.
We had agreed that we'd get the money
before the wedding happens.
Just have some patience.
We've already given you 500,000
and we'll give the rest tomorrow.
Then the wedding can happen tomorrow.
Daddy?
Serve me for the next two days. C'mon.
What is all this bullshit?
Bullshit? Uncleji, you're selling,
so I'm buying.
You idiot!
Who is selling what
and what are you buying?
This is a wedding, son.
Hold up, Uncle. Let me talk to him.
Uncle, just now you were selling him
for 1,000,000 for lifetime.
5,000 for just two days, Uncle.
I'm paying way too much.
Come, Monu, you need to mop.
Let's go, Monu.
Don't want any more humiliation.
Monu, don't. Monu, please.
- No, please. Listen to me.
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
- What have you done?
Who is going to marry my daughter now?
Tell father of the Jain...
that the son of Jain ain't up for sale.
I'll do it.
Hey, Golu, come with me for a sec.
- Why? What's wrong?
- Just come with me.
I shouldn't have lied to Dad.
My sin is paying me a visit!
Dad!
Arora, it's Dad!
- Yeah, Dad.
- How you doin', my boy?
I'm good, Dad.
Son, check if you aren't
forgetting something?
I don't think so.
Seems like you forgot your place.
What's wrong, Dad?
It's pretty obvious,
you stole your grandpa's scooter
and ran off,
so you definitely wanna
get your ass whooped.
Scooter... The scooter.
I took the scooter to the mechanic.
Shut up.
A million things to do
and you're wandering around. Come home!
All right, Dad.
I talked to him.
- Did you find the scooter?
- No, lost both...
the scooter and the guy.
You lost the scooter!
That's what he said.
Dad will tear me apart.
How did you lose it?
What is it, Khanna?
- Khanna, I'm gonna...
- Gaurav.
Everything cool?
Aunty sent this for you.
Get ready for vidai.
Everyone's waiting downstairs.
Bhabhiji...
Congratulations.
Thank you.
You can stay here if you want,
but I'm outta here.
- No, Jain!
- What are you doing?
Our son-in-law's up and awake, guys!
Greetings!
Which one of them is your father-in-law?
Honestly, I don't remember at all.
Chill, we'll find out right away.
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with new, not bad
To tear up the floor
Please welcome our lovely bride's dad
To tear up the floor
Please welcome our lovely bride's dad...
Everyone is dancing, who is the dad?
Stop? Stop, dude.
To tear up the floor
Please welcome
Our lovely bride's real dad...
It's your turn
to tear up the dance floor! Uncle!
Come walk with us, please.
We needed to talk to you.
What's up, son? All good?
Well, you can do all those
traditional send-off rituals now,
but we'll only pick up Radha
on the way back.
- Yes.
- What do you mean?
He's saying we have to travel a lot,
so Radha will suffer unnecessarily.
But Radha loves to travel.
- Pathankot is not very far.
- You're right, Uncle.
But who knows how long it will take.
So, as I was saying...
So...
Uncle?
- Uncle?
- Please, just listen to us.
Uncle, what we're saying is that
it's gonna take us way too long.
- Uncle!
- What are you doing?
- Uncle, my bad. Please, Uncle.
- Sorry, Uncle!
- Put that gun down, Uncle! Sorry.
- Sorry.
- Please, Uncle.
- Come on, Uncle.
Uncle, please.
Uncle...
Uncle, suicide is not the solution.
Just say "I'm over you,"
and be done with it.
- Even I'm doing the same.
- Shut up, Khanna.
At least leave a suicide note,
Uncle, so we won't be blamed.
Son, two of my daughters
have already run away...
How will I live with the curse
of my three daughters?
- No, please, Uncle.
- Uncle...
- Uncle, let's just talk.
- Uncle, just listen to us.
Uncle, listen to us calmly.
Uncle, let's sit down and discuss it.
- Uncle, listen to me.
- Uncle, just listen to us.
- No, Uncle...
- Uncle!
Hey, they're back! Music!
Listen, the bride is coming with us.
No, bro, no chance. Arora...
Jain, either Radha comes with us
or her old man is gonna croak
and we'll end up behind bars.
Let's get out of here
and figure things out later.
All right.
Chill out, bro. Everyone's watching, bro.
- But my Paro...
- Everyone's watching, bro.
Let them watch!
Dad?
Arora...
No problem. I'll handle it. Don't stress.
- Just be nice.
- Yeah, sure.
Why'd you switch it off?
You've taken enough crap
from the old man, all right?
Dad's mad?
No surprise there.
You got married without telling him.
But don't you worry.
When I see him,
I'll talk to him and calm him down.
Okay?
Brother, take the next right turn, please.
Bhabhiji, forget the maps,
going straight will get us
to Pathankot faster.
Dad didn't tell you guys?
We have to visit
our ancestral deity's temple first.
We'll visit any temple that's on the way.
No, brother, it's an ancient tradition.
I have to go to this temple.
- Ready?
- Let's go.
Brother?
Brother Honey!
- Sorry.
- No, it's cool.
Can you keep an eye on my bag
while we go pay our respects?
Please, brother.
Thank you.
Bro, a little over there too.
- Come, let's go.
- How about lending a hand?
Let's bounce!
Hey, where's bhabhi?
I had a word with her.
She said she'll head home from here.
A girl dressed as a bride will come.
Just give these bags to her, okay?
Let's roll, guys.
She agreed?
Yeah, for sure.
I explained and she got it.
- She's pretty understanding.
- Yeah, she is.
Let's get going.
We've gotta say "I'm over you," right?
- Let's do it.
- Okay, Maxu.
Bye, Maxu.
You are very cute, Maxu.
Sorry, bro.
Let's go, Honey bro.
Let's go.
Let's bounce before she changes her mind.
Let's bounce, bro.
That was close, Jainu.
You lucked out, otherwise a lot
of chicks tend to get too clingy.
What do you say, Khanna?
- God bless you all. Here, have some tea.
- No, thank you.
- How about you?
- No, thank you.
Take it, brother.
You shouldn't refuse an offering.
Please take it.
- God bless you.
- God bless you.
- What's wrong?
- Bro!
You don't fucking own the road, asshole!
God bless you.
- Here.
- Hello, paaji.
Hi.
Arora, make bro understand.
Bro, she's Jain's wife.
If he doesn't care, then why should we?
Arora is right, bro. She's not our sister.
Radha sees me as her brother.
I won't leave her hanging.
When her dad didn't give a damn
and sent her with four dudes,
then who are you?
I'm a Sikh! It is my duty to help others.
Radha's and your father
can do whatever they want,
but that's not how my father raised me.
- Got it?
- He will land me in trouble!
Hey!
- Fuck you!
- Damn!
Hey, kid!
You never laid a finger on Paro before,
so I just pumped the brakes.
Try touching her again and I'll...
Bro, he means he'll tear you apart.
He got it, Khanna.
Okay.
- Bro...
- It's okay.
Brother?
What happened?
Nothing, we were just
tidying up the trunk.
Get in, please.
- Let's go, Arora.
- Yeah, bro.
Get in, bhabhiji.
What happened?
He was cleaning the trunk
and he hit his head.
Can we finally go to Pathankot now, bro?
Yes, Khanna.
Bhabhiji, she is looking
so adorable in this pic.
You know, she rehearsed
this SRK dance move with me,
but now she's performing it
with her boss, Naveen.
- Oh, no.
- But it's cool.
I won't let my honeymoon plans
go to waste.
Jain...
Why don't you take her instead?
Vaishu and I had planned
to go Gurudwara-hopping on our honeymoon.
- Gurudwara-hopping?
- Yeah!
Anandpur Sahib, Harmandir Sahib,
Takht Sri Darbar Sahib...
Vaishu is all about that Sufi vibe,
you know.
I suggested Goa for some fun.
Khanna,
Sufi and gold digger are different.
Stay focused on your purpose
for going there.
Brother, tell me something,
you'll tell her "I'm over you,"
and she'll believe you?
Why?
Don't I look like that?
You look more like
it's "game over" for you.
Red, puffy eyes...
We'll give him sunglasses, bhabhiji.
- Messy hair.
- We'll shave his head.
Or you could give me some hair gel.
Still, you look the loyal type.
Bhabhiji, I was thinking...
What does it mean
to look like you're "over someone"?
Look, bro,
you're feeling down because
you caught that Veshya...
Sorry.
Because you saw
Vaishali with someone else?
Not with someone, parjaiji,
- but under someone.
- Under?
Arora, what's 4 multiplied by 11?
Forget about him. He's bullshitting.
You're already miserable on your own.
But...
if Vaishali sees you with another girl,
you'll seem happy automatically, right?
Right?
Then you'll give off the vibe of
"I'm over you!"
But...
Bhabhi, where am I supposed to
find a girl?
Looking for a girl, paaji?
I can get you any type.
Sri Lanka, Zimbabwe, Bangladeshi.
Name it and you'll get it.
Will she be my girlfriend, bro?
Yeah, paaji, just throw some cash
and she'll be a lioness...
Yo, shut your trap!
Get lost before I smack you.
Bloody nonsense!
Bhabhiji, what are you saying?
Where's he gonna find a girl?
At Panjab University.
- Panjab University?
- Quit yapping.
Come on.
- Why to Panjab University?
- Hold on.
Continue.
I have this friend, Palak.
She's so sweet, innocent, and very cute.
The both of you would make
a killer couple!
Let's go make some waves then!
WEDDING - 24 HRS
PATHANKOT - 45 HRS
She's not picking up her phone.
This is her.
You guys go hunt for her at the fest area
and we'll search for her in the hostel.
All right, we'll go track her down.
- Hey, Arora...
- Yo, Khanna...
Let's go find her, man.
Where the hell is she?
Palak!
Hey there, smokin' girl...
Hey there, smokin' girl...
Hey there, smokin' girl...
Use those lips, give it a whirl
Take a drag, nice and slow, girl
Don't wanna live...
Don't wanna live without you, girl
Don't wanna live...
Don't wanna live without you, girl
Don't wanna live...
Don't wanna live...
Pay up!
Hello?
Yeah?
Man, trust me, coming in two hours.
Jeetu!
Son of a bitch!
How dare you mess with me!
Where's my money?
Give me my money right now!
- Give me my money...
- All right. My bad, I'll pay up.
Oh, baby doll.
It is dangerous
to do something wrong to you.
But you are allowed.
Oh, my!
Hey!
My heart played a bloody sneaky trick!
Hey! Arora!
Your charming words made my heart skip
If you had told me earlier,
I would've rolled with you.
- But I have an exam tomorrow.
- Please...
So, you would have skipped?
No, but I wouldn't have busted
my ass studying so hard.
Sorry, babes, I can't do it.
Yeah, Jain?
The girl has an exam.
What?
Yes. Plan failed. Meet us at entrance.
Okay.
Let's bounce, Arora.
Plan's canceled.
I got a Plan B, Khanna.
Hey, excuse me!
You've been checking her out for me?
God bless you, Arora, love you.
What the hell, Jeetu!
- Who are you, man?
- I need your help, ma'am.
- My help?
- Yeah, well...
Speak up already!
Will you be my girlfriend and go with me
to my ex's wedding in Pathankot?
Are you crazy or what?
- Arora?
- Hold up.
Hey, babe, just give us a chance.
If a hottie like you shows up with him,
his ex will be hella jealous.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, for sure.
Buzz off, both of you.
Follow me again and you're screwed.
Fuck! Coming, dude.
Have I ever been late?
Trust me, I'll be there in two hours.
- Hey, ma'am, listen...
- Stay away from me.
- Excuse me.
- Seriously, just get lost already!
Dumbasses! I always wonder
where they frickin' come from.
What the hell, man!
Jeetu, you son of a bitch,
I'm gonna fucking get you for this!
Let's try with Radha.
- Khanna?
- Yeah?
She's looking this way.
Yeah, she is.
Khanna, she's coming over here.
Yeah, she is.
Wanna make her jealous or what?
But I ain't gonna kiss you.
I've never even kissed
my actual girlfriend.
Don't sweat it.
You'll be the one sweating
if you even try to touch me.
You got my word, girl.
No one can lay a finger on you.
For real?
Does Gurdaspur come
on the way to Pathankot?
We'll make it happen.
You just gotta say the word.
Arora, what are you talking about?
Why to Gurdaspur?
- Hold up.
- But...
All right, let's go then.
We'll handle my thing first.
I finally found a spot to park.
Bro, it's time to hit the road again.
- Huh?
- The job's done.
What's wrong? You all right?
My lovely daughter-in-law.
Hey, Tara, my girl.
- Where's Gaurav?
- Sweetheart...
Are you in the business of fooling people?
It's illegal to get a married guy
married again.
You are gonna end up in jail.
The wedding's canceled.
Canceled? Seriously, dear...
Mother of Jain!
Where is your son?
Hey, brother...
She's a total badass.
What's her name?
Bhabhiji, you never told Palak
that she can't smoke in my car?
Yo, the name's Meera.
Meera or Palak, I don't give a damn
but you can't smoke here.
It's a vape, bro.
Calling it a "vape"
doesn't make it sweeter,
it's still an intoxicant.
If he's got a problem with it,
then throw him in the back.
Bhabhiji, I'll seriously whack her.
I don't care if it's a girl or a boy.
Bro...
Okay, fine.
You totally killed the vibe, you know?
Why are you stopping, bro?
She has put it aside.
Hold up, they've pulled my truck over.
I'll be back real quick.
Hey...
Get it cracking. Speed it up.
What's the deal, sir?
Why you messing with the kid?
- Hello, bro.
- And you are...
I'm not a female
that I'll brag about myself.
- True.
- Why'd you stop my truck?
Hold on...
Get a move on, come on.
Come on. Get up.
Next time, put on a helmet.
- Hey, there.
- Hi.
What's happening?
What's happening?
Just a regular check-up.
Why is he taking forever, man?
Don't worry, Honey bro will handle it.
He's the best.
No, Khanna, Meera's got a point.
We need someone mature
to be present there.
Fucker, can't you see
before opening the door?
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Why are we even talking about drugs, sir?
Are there are any documents
or RC missing, is the driver drunk?
- Are you drunk?
- Sober since a week.
Look, sir...
Bro, all good?
He thinks my trucks are being used
for drug smuggling.
- No way, sir.
- Open it.
Try and understand, sir.
Mr. Avtar,
I got 50 trucks cruising this highway.
You can ask anyone
about Late Charan Singh,
- and they'll only have respect for him...
- Fuck Charan Singh!
- Check everything thoroughly.
- Bro...
Everything.
Take that down.
- Bro, control.
- Fuck Charan Singh?
You shouldn't have said that.
I was trying to tell you,
people have so much respect for my father!
Bro!
What the fuck did he do?
Why did bro slap him?
Laamba?
- My scooter!
- Gaurav! What scooter?
Always show respect
for Late Mr. Charan Singh!
What are you up to, Jain?
I'll charge you
under section 307, dickhead.
- Seize his car!
- Okay, sir.
- What are you doing, dude?
- He took my scooter!
- Yeah, let's go.
- Get in, get in fast.
Jain! My car!
Jain! He got my car!
Stop!
Let's go, bro.
Get in, get in fast.
Stop! Stop, I said!
Stop the car!
They stole the police cruiser!
Let's go catch them, you lazy asses!
My carriage, my horse,
Come on dance, dance
My carriage, my horse,
Come on dance, dance
My carriage, my horse,
Come on dance, dance
Stop the car!
- Hey, darling.
- Yes, babes?
I think we're being followed.
- We're being followed?
- Yeah.
Laamba! I will kick your ass!
No, babe. They just wanna race with me
because they think I'm a kid.
Hold on tight and watch me shut them down.
- Jain!
- What are you doing, dude!
- Watch out! There are kids out there.
- Move outta my way!
No! bro! Watch out!
Jain, stop the freakin' car!
Get the hell outta my way!
Jain, stop the... Fuck!
Shit! Bro has lost it! Watch out!
Damn Punjab Police
can't even fill up the tank.
Bro, chuck it. Make a run for it.
- Don't you know how to drive?
- Please, just let us go.
Please, just let us go.
- Please, forgive us.
- Please, let us go.
Hey!
He's ditching his parents
and running off to Canada!
- Go, get him.
- Thank you, ma'am.
- Thank you.
- Jain!
- Where to?
- You will get me in trouble.
What are you doing, Jain?
We're gonna die, man!
Bro...
Jain! You motherfucker!
Open the damn door!
Meera! Don't worry, I am here!
Bro, open the doors, damn it!
Open up the damn doors!
- Arora, open mine too.
- Meera, I got you!
- Arora, open my door!
- Do it yourself, hold on!
I warned you,
if you touch Paro again, I'll...
Khanna, go there and figure out
how to open this thing.
- Bro!
- My bag!
My bag!
- Are you out of your mind?
- My bag!
Open the crossing gates!
People are stuck down there!
This thing is also stuck, paaji!
Damn it!
Come on, Paro, get moving, please!
Paaji, please, do something!
- Bro, get out of there!
- Come on, Paro, for my sake!
- Bro, get out of there!
- My bag is in there!
Get out of there, bro!
A train is coming towards us!
Honey, please give me my bag!
Please, give me my bag!
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
A train is coming towards you!
Let Channo know that Honey died
with his side chick.
- What are you doing, bro?
- Give me my bag!
Bro!
Arora!
Thank God.
Brother!
- You made it!
- You survived!
Train is heading to Jammu.
It was supposed to take that track.
Brother.
Enough, sir!
Where's your big talk now, huh?
My father...
What if your father...
Go ahead, hit me.
Hit me all you want.
But I ain't apologizing.
I love my father.
"I love my father."
I also love my father.
He never loves me.
Brother, you good?
No, I ain't good.
If we keep sittin' in this jail,
I'll get to say "I'm over you,"
in front of Vaishali's kids.
He took off with my scooter...
- If I miss my meeting...
- Chill, Meera!
Chill out! Everyone, chill out!
I'll figure somethin' out.
- I got contacts too.
- You got contacts, huh?
- Use 'em.
- Should I?
- Use 'em already!
- What are you doing, girl?
- Do it now.
- Mr. Avtar!
- Who yelled?
- Sir...
Sir, can I have my phone, please?
Man wants to call.
Give him his phone.
Let me see who his contacts are.
Hello?
Ginni, my dear, what's up?
What made you miss me today?
You only miss the ones
you've forgotten, darling.
I just can't stop thinking about you.
You're such a flirt.
Tell me why you called me.
Your uncle, the commissioner...
I needed some help from him.
All right, I'll handle it. What is it?
There's this SHO Mr. Avtar Singh
from Roopnagar Police Station
who's been giving me a hard time.
Wanna give him a reality check.
Arora, you always put
your attention down there
and you never actually listen to me.
My uncle is a GST commissioner,
not a police commissioner.
Let me know when you start makin' money.
I'll help you save some tax.
That jerk ruined the taste
and fun of the snacks, damn it!
Your contact is as useless as you.
Be careful, it's an iPhone.
Sir... That's my phone, sir.
Who turned it on? Don't answer the call.
- Hit me, but don't answer the call.
- Shut up!
"Dad" needs to know
what Mr. Groom has been doing.
No, sir! Please, sir! Please!
Hello?
You fucking asshole,
when did your tiny dick grow the balls
to go around Punjab with girls
without telling your father, huh?
- I'm from Roopnagar Police...
- Listen up!
You think you're Dan Bilzerian, right?
You just wait!
I ain't your father unless I make you ride
a damn donkey around Patiala.
Tara told me what you've been up to!
- I'm not Gaurav, I'm Roopnagar's...
- Who are you?
Gaurav's pimp? Are you hooking him up?
Shut up!
Gaurav is in Roopnagar Police Station.
This is SHO Avtar Singh.
Next time call someone
a pimp without knowing him,
I'll whip your ass red with my belt!
Hang up now!
Arora! Dad's gonna come
and whoop my ass, again!
It's your fault, bro! It's all your fault.
Why did you have to slap him?
Can't you control your anger?
I can't control my anger, huh?
You messed up my Paro.
- Don't touch me, bro.
- Still ain't complaining!
- Gaurav!
- And you're blaming me!
What are you doing, bro? Bro, control.
We shouldn't have let this dumbass
join our crew.
- Shouldn't have let me join?
- Hell yeah!
Bro, you were never part of our crew.
Forget our crew, you ain't even part
of our damn WhatsApp group.
- Arora wanted to borrow your car...
- Have you lost your mind?
- What are you saying?
- Am I lying?
Shut up!
That ain't true, bro.
Bro, his wedding has driven him crazy.
Hey, Mr. Groom,
you ran away and tied the knot?
No, sir.
Actually, we were headed
to his ex's wedding.
So, you were planning
to cancel her wedding?
- No, sir. We didn't wanna cancel it. Just...
- Spit it out.
Sir, we were just gonna go there
and say, "I'm over you."
- What?
- Sir, have you ever been in a situation
where you busted your ass on a case,
but someone else got promoted?
Sir, he's talking about the Tejpal case.
Oh, yeah, I've been through that.
How does it feel
when you can't do anything about it?
It sucks. I get mad, I feel regret.
I mean, when someone takes
what's rightfully yours...
He's feeling the same way, sir.
Even Khanna is regretting it, sir.
That's why it's important
for us to go there.
He'll feel better after saying,
"I'm over you," to her.
What the fuck!
You comparing a serious job
to a heartbreak?
This is a serious case too, sir.
If you have a problem with me,
I'll stay back.
But please let them go.
I'm sorry.
Let them go.
Go on, sir's feeling sorry for you guys.
Grab your stuff.
What's this?
These... my homeopathic pills.
The keys to the car.
- Bro...
- Take good care of my Paro.
SHO Avtar Singh?
Yeah, speak. Over.
Show some respect! This is the SP.
Sir! Sorry, sir! Over.
Riots at Chandigarh University.
Get there right away. Over.
I'll hurry there, sir. Over.
You want to wind up getting slapped again?
Morning wasn't enough?
King got beatings by erecting barricades.
How did you find that out, sir? Over.
Forget about me,
everyone in the department knows
you messed up our reputation.
Hurry over there with everyone.
Over and out.
Right away, sir. Over.
- Start the engines.
- Okay, sir.
- And find out who snitched.
- Okay, sir.
I'm gonna...
Damn cops don't even bother
to lock their cars, huh, bro?
You said sorry and let go of your pride.
You let go of your Paro for our trip.
And you think
we're just gonna let go of you?
- What happened, bro?
- Damn it!
In all that mess,
I forgot to fill up the tank.
Shit!
Come on.
Just keep pushing,
the next gas station is 15 minutes away.
We'd be lost without you, Meera.
Arora, we would have checked the map
on our phone.
Right?
Khanna, did you check the map?
No, right? Then shut up!
Hey, Channo!
- You good, Radha?
- Yeah, I'm good.
What did the doc say?
What? They can't find any blood?
No, Channo, don't stress.
No, don't cry. I'll hit you up later
and we'll talk about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay, Channo. Fine.
No, don't cry.
Good.
Bye, Channo.
All good, bro?
I'm A-negative.
If you need some blood...
By the way, which resort am I supposed
to visit as your girlfriend?
That we can figure out once
we hit Pathankot.
Why ain't it moving?
Because I slammed on the brakes.
Come take a walk with me, yeah?
You don't even know
where the hell her wedding is happening?
- No, bro. I know it's in Pathankot.
- Fuck Pathankot!
Where is the wedding?
- At a resort in Pathankot.
- You brought us all this far!
Everyone's screwed and you're clueless!
- Don't know the resort!
- Why didn't you tell us?
Bro, she didn't give me
a wedding invite and say,
"Khanna, please come."
I thought Pathankot was a small town.
Probably only a few resorts there.
We'll find it.
Pathankot isn't that small, Khanna.
- It is small, bro.
- Shut up, Khanna!
- Radha!
- Radha!
- Radha?
- What's wrong?
- Radha?
- What happened?
She passed out.
- Good news?
- Shut up, Arora.
- Get some water, damn it!
- Radha...
Bhabhiji.
Bro, there's no water in the car.
Splash this on her.
- Yeah, it works.
- Do it, bro.
Radha...
- You okay?
- Bhabhiji?
My... My blood pressure drops sometimes.
My mom says you should have
something sweet in these cases.
- Got any sweets?
- Only some tangy snacks in the car.
- Where do we get sweets now?
- Meera has homeopathic pills.
They're supposed to be sweet.
Those are my meds.
Meera, homeopathy is a scam.
Those are just sugar pills.
Stop this bullshit!
Meera, those pills, please.
Don't you guys get it?
I take those pills for my headache.
- It's okay, Meera.
- It's fine.
It's just sugar, nothing else.
- Meera, request to give.
- Easy, bro.
- Give her some, Meera.
- Please, give her some.
Take care, sis.
PATHANKOT - 15 HRS
WEDDING - 12 HRS
Stop here!
Does your uncle live here?
Yeah.
I'll go give him his meds.
Don't judge, bro. It is what it is.
Buzz off.
Radha?
Bro, I'll just go check the stuff.
Here.
Mr. Daljeet, that's only 20 grand.
- We agreed on 50 grand.
- We agreed on delivering it by 9:00.
- Actually, a few guys...
- Time change,
price change.
Hello, paaji.
We have got your stuff, really.
Keep four million ready.
I'm feeling horny.
Let's do it right here.
What the hell, Radha!
We're married! Fine, I'll strip first.
Are you out of your mind?
Oh, yeah, my bad.
Let's get a room.
Come on, let's go.
- No!
- Come on already!
- I don't wanna go.
- Come on!
What has happened to you?
If he wasn't your buddy, I'd bump him off.
- Bro, sorry for all the...
- Arora!
Arora? Wanna drink?
Always, buddy.
Okay, man, okay!
All of 'em are damn stingy.
- Fuck.
- Shut your trap.
I do all the risky shit to smuggle them,
and you just sit back and make bank, huh?
- I need half a million.
- Look, I get anxious as hell
when I don't have a gun in my hand.
- I'll make your fear go away.
- I'm gonna end up bawling my eyes out.
I'm gonna make you bawl...
Don't you think baby's taking
too damn long?
Aren't you getting too cozy?
Just getting some practice?
Why does everyone
wanna fucking mess up my car?
Get your ass off the ground!
People like you
give Punjab a bad reputation!
You do drugs and then you commit suicide!
Junkie! Don't you worry about
what your family will go through?
Brother, if booze can make you happy,
what the hell do you need drugs for?
Hey, paaji, this stuff is amazing...
Who's gonna fix it?
Who's gonna fix it? Your dad?
Catch him. Don't let him get away.
I wanna give him a good whack too.
We don't want it.
Five thousand?
Meera! How did you get a gun?
Radha, get out of here!
Meera, why are there fireworks?
My uncle is bursting crackers. Come.
Run!
- Hurry up!
- Get in, Khanna!
- How can I fit in there?
- Get the fuck in!
Shanty!
Put on the music!
It's time for a gun chase!
What did you get us into, Meera?
You can't run away from me,
sweetheart!
Fuck you, asshole!
Khanna, crack open a bottle
and get your ass up there.
But, bro, how the hell
am I gonna do it in a moving car?
- You should hit them back.
- With what?
The gun Jain's father-in-law gave us!
Arora, open up the dashboard.
There's actually a gun in the dashboard?
Yeah, there really is one.
- Just shoot already, man!
- Yeah, I got it.
Fuck you...
Fuck you again...
- It's not working, bro.
- It's not working?
- No, it's not.
- Hold on a sec.
Yeah, Honey?
The damn gun you gave us is a total dud.
Not working when needed most.
What's the matter, son? Is Radha okay?
- Hey, Papa, greetings...
- Radha... One sec.
One sec, bhabhiji!
Wait, I'll get the supplier on the line.
Yeah, hurry up and do it.
Who the hell is calling me now?
Hey, there, Mr. Omkar! How's it going?
Your gun isn't working.
What will my son-in-law think?
We're all using same guns.
We are firing right now.
- I'll get them on the line.
- Yeah, let me talk to them.
Honey... Son, the supplier is on the line.
Talk to him.
Hey, paaji. How's it going?
We're fucked, man. Your gun isn't working.
Paaji. Just give me a sec.
Bro, I've got a customer calling.
He's using the same batch of guns.
And it's not working.
Check the safety.
Check the safety, paaji.
Check the safety, paaji.
- What's the safety?
- What's the safety?
Paaji, is there an "S" written
above the handle?
Is there an "S" written above the handle?
- Yeah, there is.
- Yeah, there is.
Flip that "S" to an "F".
Flip that "S" to an "F", paaji.
Flipped the "S" to an "F".
Flipped the "S" to an "F".
- Now tell him to load it.
- Load it, paaji.
Load it.
How do I load it?
How do I load it, paaji?
Paaji... Hey, I know how to load too!
Just pull the hook back
and release, paaji.
Just pull the hook back
and release, paaji.
- Done.
- Done.
Fire!
Fire!
Fire, paaji! Shoot!
On it!
Fuck! It's working, paaji.
Thank you, paaji.
All right, paaji. Happy firing!
See you!
Arora, shoot! Keep firing!
I'm gonna kill them all!
Fuck!
Bro, he got a whole crew with him.
We can't handle them. Get us outta here.
Bro, which route are you heading?
- Hurry up! Faster, man!
- I am hurrying.
Hey! Come here.
Hey!
Uncle! Can't you understand?
Bhabhi, get down!
Bhabhiji, please get down! Get down!
He is freaked out!
- Get down, bhabhiji!
- Please get down!
Khanna! What's wrong, Khanna?
- Khanna, what happened!
- Khanna got hit!
Khanna got hit!
Khanna got hit!
My bro-in-law got hit!
- Khanna, you okay?
- Step on it! Get cracking!
- Khanna!
- You motherfucking asshole!
Meera's uncle, I'm gonna kill you!
Give me the gun, bro!
What are you doing?
Parjaiji, what...
I am going to kill you all!
You're a sharpshooter!
I'm a sharpshooter!
Parjaiji, get down.
- Bro!
- Chill, Khanna. I found a hospital.
Hospital? Bro, that cross
could also be a pharmacy.
Jain, you got a problem with me?
No, just speaking in general.
Can't you be more positive
when talking generally?
Bro, hurry up, please.
We're almost there.
Just five more minutes, please.
Come on, hurry up.
- Doctor?
- Yeah?
- Be careful.
- What's wrong?
- Come with me.
- Lie down.
- Lie down.
- We'll fix you up.
Almost there.
Think you can take the bullet out?
This hospital is the biggest
in this village.
Stop!
What's the matter?
Why does this place look like
an animal hospital?
Because it is, bro.
- What?
- What?
Brother, I know I look cuddly,
but I ain't no teddy.
- Then why didn't you say so?
- I didn't hide it either, paaji.
Does it really matter?
We all evolved from monkeys.
But we're humans now, right?
Hello! You won't find another
doctor nearby at this hour.
And if the poison spreads,
forget about the teddy bear or monkey,
your buddy's gonna kick
the bucket like a dog.
You decide. I'll go get the OT ready.
Let's do it.
- Sorry.
- Seriously, Jain?
WEDDING
3 HRS
PATHANKOGOD KNOWS
Bro...
Hey, bro...
Bro... I'm having trouble breathing.
Relax, paaji!
Don't bother me, Moti.
It's a major operation.
Sorry, Moti.
Tell me something,
what did I use to remove a stone from you?
This one?
Look here, man.
What about this one?
Thank you, dude.
Bro, can you do me a favor?
Can you record a video
of me saying, "I'm over you"?
Khanna, relax, it will be okay.
Stay strong.
How is everything gonna be all right?
My feelings will get to Vaishali
if something goes wrong with me.
Operation is successful.
Congratulations, Khanna!
- Arora!
- Thank you, Moti.
Relax, bro.
Khanna pulled through!
The bullet has been removed.
Thank God.
OPERATION THEATRE
Where's Meera?
She was just here.
Where's Paro?
It was... right here.
- Arora!
- Hey...
And where's our stuff?
Where was that supposed to be?
Paaji...
If I knew there was a junkie in my car,
I would've shot her myself.
First you kick his ass.
Paaji, he's hurt.
Fine, I'll do it.
Sorry, Khanna.
It's okay, bro. Go for it.
Just make sure
you don't mess up the stitches.
Go.
But, dude, I'm in your team.
She totally shattered my heart.
Next time I see her, I'll break her bones.
Yo, bodybuilder, you first break his ass.
No...
Go on.
Khanna...
Don't you do leg days in the gym?
Don't know how to kick someone's ass?
This is how it's done!
Check out how he's screaming!
- Go back.
- That's some real badass kick!
- Go on.
- Look how messed up he is.
Can't even get off the ground.
- Please.
- Just give us a little more time,
I promise
Meera will be right in front of you.
Please, stop hurting him.
Come on, have some mercy.
I'm begging you, man.
Done.
Parjaiji...
Where are you takin' her?
Fetch Meera and take the bride.
Gaurav!
See you at the poultry farm
behind Sunview Resort.
- Gaurav!
- You've got one hour.
Otherwise, time change, mind change.
Later, fuckers!
Brother!
Brother!
Yo, bro!
Aujleh! Paro has been jacked.
What? Paro got jacked?
Shunty, Bunty, Bugga, Balli!
Bro's Paro has been stolen, guys.
Damn, Honey bro's Paro is gone.
How the hell did this happen?
C'mon, let's bounce, guys.
Paro got jacked!
- Hey, take a right.
- Come on.
Remember, you can't let her get away.
Stall her till we get there.
And send me your live location.
But, bro... how will we get there?
Let's roll. No option.
Come on, get up.
Where is Jain?
Jain! Hey, Jain?
- What are you doing there? Let's go.
- I am not coming.
Are you outta your mind?
I've sent my live location to Dad.
He's coming to pick me up.
Jain, you're coming with us, okay?
Arora, I told you,
these vegetarians are not loyal to anyone.
Let's go, Khanna.
You rascal!
How dare you!
Freaking junkie!
Why, baby?
Come on.
It's okay, come on.
What's this joint?
These folks are such tight-asses.
If I were a drug dealer,
I'd always make deals in fancy hotels.
Arora, keep it low.
If they hear that,
I'm the one who's gonna suffer.
You guys took so long.
Take her and give us Radha in return.
Neel.
Brother!
- Arora?
- Brother?
- What are you up to?
- Where's he going?
Where are you going, dude?
What are you doing?
- Brother!
- What the fuck, Arora!
I'll feed to the chickens. Guns down.
Drop one pill...
- and I'll shove these bullets up your ass.
- Try me!
Cut it out, Arora.
- You want the drugs?
- Yeah.
You'll get them.
Guarantee that Meera won't get hurt.
- Fucking asshole!
- Arora!
Have you lost it?
You gonna double-cross us for some junkie?
I'm in love, bro. True love.
Met her just two days ago
and you are in love with her?
Two days are enough to fall in love.
I've never been this happy
with anyone before.
Arora!
Arora, you sick...
Sorry, paaji.
I promise, I'll pay for it.
Please, paaji.
You're only worth 40 bucks,
so how are you gonna pay me four million?
Bro is worth it. He'll pay.
- Are you worth it?
- Yeah, I am.
But now no one's worth
getting my money for drugs.
Seriously, bro? He'll kill us, bro!
Try to understand, man.
- My father never taught me that.
- Bro, please.
- Come on, bro.
- Please.
All have some principles,
try to understand.
Kill them!
Yo?
Go answer the door.
Dude... stay put.
Hey!
Hey, man!
Paaji, watch out!
Get back! Do something, useless fellow!
Where are you off to?
- Come on, you three!
- Hey, girl!
This guy's on our team?
Yo, Jainu!
- Radha...
- Behind you!
Let's go here!
This way, let's bounce!
- Come on, move your butts!
- Hurry up, Khanna.
- Dude, carry me.
- Are you crazy?
Honey, where the heck are we?
- That way!
- Let's go!
- Please!
- Uncle, which way is the exit?
The wedding just started. Enjoy yourself.
Come on, guys, let's go.
Hurry up, Khanna.
What's wrong?
Khanna!
Khanna?
Khanna, are you...
Khanna!
Bro!
Gotcha, fuckers!
Hey!
Congratulations!
- Congratulations!
- Congratulations!
- Congrats!
- Congrats!
Keep it in.
Keep it in.
Assholes!
Khanna!
Khanna, no time for this.
Goons are chasing us.
Bro, I gotta find her...
right now and I gotta tell her.
We'll find her.
- Let's get out of here.
- Bro, I need...
Run!
Yo, you wannabe Bruce Lee!
You coming down or should I come up there?
Baby, let me do the honors.
What the hell is happening?
- Nothing, man.
- What's up, uncle?
Nothing, kid. Put that gun away.
- Hurry up and get ready.
- Okay.
- Tea?
- Have it later, dude.
- Get ready for drums.
- Yeah.
Let's roll, boys.
Hey!
- Why are you here?
- What is it, bro?
- What about the bathrooms?
- No, you...
Who's your boss?
- What do we pay for?
- You got it wrong.
Hey! What are you doing?
- He is the groom.
- Yeah.
In these clothes?
- Yes.
- Don't fool me.
Hold on a sec.
- Show him your outfit.
- Here.
So that it doesn't get dirty.
Sorry, so sorry, sir. Sorry, ma'am.
- Why are the musicians here?
- Sir...
- Don't care.
- I'll handle it.
- I'll take care.
- Let's go!
Yo, buddy!
We told you no live music, only a DJ.
You hear the music? Fuckwit.
Paaji, he is running after us,
please hide us otherwise he will kill us.
Hello, sir. How may I help you?
Where's your complaint box at?
Complaint... What happened, sir?
You charge full price
but don't give proper facilities.
Facilities? But we did have hot water
this morning, sir.
It's very hot.
Water isn't the issue.
How is a person supposed
to dry themselves?
No towels in the rooms.
What are you saying, sir?
I personally placed towels
in the rooms, right?
So, you're saying he's lying?
But he is quiet, sir.
But I am saying, right?
Sir, which room?
The bride's room.
What? In the bride's room?
This shouldn't happen again.
Don't worry, sir.
I'll send them right away.
- You'll send them?
- Yes, sir.
Bring them right now!
Come on.
Bro...
Bro... What are you doing, man?
I'm not ready.
Then why did you come here?
All right, puff your chest out,
take a deep breath, and just speak up.
- Don't be scared.
- Hey, hold up!
- Khanna...
- Those were for the groom.
That groom stole my girl
and I can't even have his fucking booze?
Are you insane?
She'll be out in a sec, man.
Go, give it to the groom!
Khanna?
What are you doing here?
After all I said,
you show up here to cancel my wedding?
Just stay put.
I'll make sure they kick you out of here.
- Excuse me.
- Vaishali, hold on.
Vaishu...
You aren't allowed in the kitchen, sir.
Did you see a girl and a boy?
Like I said, guests can't come in here.
Do you wear this?
You think I'm a fool?
Fucking bastard!
Run.
Vaishu...
What's the problem? Open the door.
No, bro.
Let's wait for her to come out.
- Khanna, those goons...
- Bro...
I freaking told you, Khanna.
Run, Arora! Khanna! Honey! Run!
- Run!
- Bro!
Run! Run like a freaking cheetah!
You guys made us run like crazy.
You bastard!
Listen, paaji,
you can't shoot me for that.
I didn't do shit, man. I'm innocent.
- No, paaji. No, don't.
- No!
Bro?
Bro?
Honey?
- What happened?
- Nothing.
Brother?
- You all right?
- You good?
I got shot.
Paaji!
Hey there!
So, time change, mind change?
If you had a freaking brain,
you would've shot us ages ago.
Dumbasses.
Come on, Mr. Avtar,
Called you ages ago and you show up now.
A second more of delay, and I...
The Punjab Police
only shows up late in movies.
Got it?
Arrest them.
With great difficulty we've got them.
- Hey...
- Paaji...
Let him go.
Idiot.
Promotion is bigger than ego.
Thank you, Avtar sir.
You understand? Take them away.
They ain't showing us any damn respect.
Times have changed, brother.
So?
You finished or what?
Well,
I'm just waiting for the door to open.
Mom!
- What's wrong, kiddo?
- You're overreacting.
She was just giving me a massage.
- What's going on?
- Hey, you bitch, my dress...
Mom, I made a mistake.
I put my trust in the wrong guy.
I have to rectify my mistake.
This is what you wanted, right, Khanna?
The priest and venue are all set.
Come on, let's get married.
Just you and me.
What the hell!
We came all this way
just to witness his wedding?
Vaishu...
Well, saying "I'm over you,"
to a crying girlfriend
and getting promoted in the Punjab Police...
it ain't easy.
I must've contemplated this...
like a hundred freaking times.
I even wrote a song...
for my wedding.
Wanna hear it?
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with a rose...
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with a rose...
We were at Sukhna Lake
When I had proposed
We were at Sukhna Lake
When I had proposed
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with a tie...
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with a tie...
It feels like the blink of an eye
And four years have already flown by
It feels like the blink of an eye
And four years have already flown by
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with a zeal...
Everyone knows
That you are Khanna's Achilles' heel
Everyone knows
That you are Khanna's Achilles' heel
Oh, Khanna...
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with meat...
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with meat...
Didn't you feel any remorse...
the day you became a cheat?
Khanna.
Khanna!
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with a stew...
He was gone for 12 years
And now he's back with a stew...
Baby,
I'm over you.
Are you awake?
The hangover from last night is over?
Why aren't you picking up my calls
for so many days?
So, should I come to you?
Listen up. Don't take on any job
for the next three days, got it?
Sending Paro to you.
No, it wasn't an accident,
but the damage is just as bad.
Find a room, you two.
Want my car perfect.
What's the matter, bro? Jealous?
Why would I be jealous?
Meera?
- Bhabhi, I can't find her.
- What?
Fourth stage cancer?
How?
Shit.
Don't worry, Channo.
I'll be back and we'll talk about it.
Yeah, I'll be back soon.
I'll be back by evening.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, okay.
What is it, bro? Everything good?
Yeah, all good. Let's go.
Bro, you solved all our problems.
Let us know if you have any problems.
I don't have any problems, Jain. Let's go.
Tell us, bro.
Why are you hiding it from us?
Arora, why would I hide anything?
- Come. Let's go.
- Brother, please tell us.
- Please.
- Radha...
Bhabhiji,
Channo and I watch
this TV soap every night.
I missed three episodes
in the past three days.
The heroine's brother
is diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.
Channo is really upset about it.
She was giving me an update on it.
This is ridiculous, bro.
- Come on, Jain. What...
- Bro...
Shit.
Come on, Arora. How can you judge...
- Khanna, bro...
- Brother...
do you think her brother will make it?
I don't know, bhabhiji.
We'll find out in the next episode.
- Yeah, right.
- Hurry up, Honey.
I need to get home.
Wow, that's a surprise!
Now I'm Honey instead of bro, huh?
You don't deserve to be called bro.
Hurry up,
or you'll miss the next episode too.
No big deal. Men watch soaps too.
Bro, you have lost all our respect.
What has it got to do with respect?
Bhabhiji, talk to them. People watch them.
By the way, bro,
which channel does it come on?
- Nonsense!
- Can't recall the channel number.
- Please consider...
- You two stay away from me.
- Shit.
- Shit.
You're just hugging. How would I do it?
Okay, now... Sorry.
He's bad. He ruined... the entire thing.
Like this, like this...
A male underwear...
Dear Golu, please come with me.
Like Baghban's old man, you always...
Like Salman, you always...
Like Baghban's...
She is beautiful, well-mannered...
Sorry.
"...over you."
One second. We'll do a retake.
One second.
Okay. One second.
I forgot it so many times...
I forgot the dialogue.
- Yes.
- Exit.
- We need to exit?
- Cut!
Cut!
Bro, I didn't hear "Action."
Look here, Arora! Bro, say something.
Lift it a little.
Keep the direction up. Spray it.
It's depleted.
What kind of a spray is this?
What is this?