Wish Upon A Unicorn (2020) Movie Script
(SURREAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING)
(HONKING HORN)
For crying out loud,
we've been sitting here forever!
Not too late to turn back.
Don't worry, Dad.
I'm sure the road will clear up soon.
Traffic was the one thing
I thought we left behind.
You're taking up two lanes!
What are you doing?
(HONKS HORN)
Come on, ya fat cow!
Daddy, don't be mean!
How is that mean? Look at her.
- Move, Bessie! We don't have all day!
- (MOOS)
Let's go!
You're making her nervous.
Baby, it's fine.
That's how milkshakes are made.
Come on!
Mia, what're you doing?
Hey, cow!
Moo-ve!
Okay, then.
Good try, baby.
Okay, 10 more seconds
and we're having burgers for dinner.
- Dad, no!
- Stop it, Daddy!
Five, four, three, two...
- Oh! Oh!
- (MOOING)
- Yay!
- It's about time! Thank you!
Okay, let's go.
- (BLEATING)
- LOUIS: Whoa!
- GIRLS: Whoa!
- Oh, come on!
(HORN HONKS)
EMMA: You're up, Mia.
Go tell this punk to baa-ck off.
(WOMAN HUMMING)
Okay, easy.
- Sip. Sip.
- (HORN HONKING)
Oh, Monroe, looks like we have company.
(MUMBLING)
I know, I know, I know.
Hi!
- Welcome!
- (EXHALES)
Well, hello there!
Welcome to the ranch.
Oh, hello.
Sorry it took so long.
We got cow blocked.
No worries.
The girls got big, huh?
Ah, sure did!
Wow.
So, who are you people?
Uh...
Uh, hi, Rose. You know us. I'm Louis.
You asked the girls and I to...
To come and help you with the ranch.
We're Samantha's family.
Oh, dear.
My sweet Sam left us about a year past.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We, uh...
We're well aware. Um...
You stayed with us,
uh, in Chicago for the funeral.
You helped out with
the reception at our apartment afterwards.
Remember?
It was really sad.
Oh, did you serve
those little piggies in a blanket?
Yeah. Emma made them.
ROSE: Oh, yes!
It's all coming back.
They were delicious!
Did you bring any?
Uh, no hors d'oeuvres,
but we've got some gummy bears
in the cup holder.
Oh, that's a shame. Well, all right.
Let's all get washed up for dinner, okay?
- Grandma.
- Yep?
If you didn't even remember me,
then why did you say I had gotten taller?
Were you smaller once?
Uh, yeah.
Well, there you go.
(BOTH LAUGH)
LOUIS: This is quite the spread, Rose.
You sure you weren't expecting company?
Oh, sometimes my boyfriend comes over
to share some fiddles with me and Monroe.
You have a boyfriend, Granny?
Don't you?
(LAUGHS) Burn!
Well, at least I have friends.
Not anymore. They're in Chicago.
You'll make new friends in no time.
Personally, I am very excited
for this fresh start.
I don't have to tell you, we've had
quite the streak of bad luck
this past year.
You don't say?
Mmm-hmm.
I got laid off,
our landlord sold the building,
uh, Emma broke her arm.
Mia's grades started slipping.
Only in spelling.
Spelling is hard.
Yes, it is.
Oh, the van needed a new fuel pump.
That was really expensive.
Uh, what else am I forgetting?
We lost our mother.
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
You're right, baby. That, uh,
was hands down the worst thing
that's ever happened to all of us.
Well, everybody has bad days,
and you just have to trust
that the next one is
gonna be a little bit better.
- You gotta stay positive.
- Mmm-hmm.
Positive.
Put your faith in your family,
and there's nothing we can't overcome.
I agree
and I think
the Dindals' luck is about to change.
- Here, here. I'll drink to that.
- (GIGGLES)
Mia! You're such an idiot!
I told you to stop playing around
and to be careful.
Whoa!
Fire!
Fire! Fire!
- Fire!
- It's okay, it's okay.
There we go.
Not a problem.
(GRUNTING)
(ROSE HUMMING)
Listen, Gran, I hope we're not being
too much of an inconvenience.
Just say the word and we're on
the next flight back to Chicago.
Right, Mia?
Nonsense.
As long as you make yourself scarce
when my gentleman caller
comes for Netflix and chill.
Oh, your boyfriend, right.
We'll, uh, give you your space,
right, Mia?
Right, Mia?
Huh? Yeah. Space. Space.
The final frontier.
ROSE: You are not guests, you're family.
This is your home now.
But this is a working ranch.
You know what that means.
- You work?
- ROSE: Exactly.
(DOOR SHUTS)
EMMA: Oh, crap.
Time for chores!
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
Well, it goes on and on
Like a sad, sad country song
(GRUNTING)
I thought it can't get worse
Then one more thing went wrong
Host my dog, my house
my wife, my pickup truck
I can't explain it
but let's just face it
Sometimes life just sucks
But! Keep holding on
It won't be long
My soul will find
(GROWLS)
Somehow, some day
I'm gonna find a way
I'm gonna get what's mine
No one said it would be easy
(SCREAMING)
I've come too far to give up now
No, I'll never stop believing
Things will turn around
My feet will touch the ground
Right about now
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(BOTH GROANING)
Rise and shine, time for school!
- (CLANGING PAN)
- (GIRLS GROANING)
(MIA SNORING)
You're snoring.
(YAWNING) Who is that?
What? You're mumbling.
I thought I saw a man with a hat and
a long jacket.
Did you?
- (BUS APPROACHING)
- It's here. Get up.
Come on.
Try to blend in.
There's no seats together.
Ask someone to move.
Just take this one.
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
Ugh.
Patrick. Is that your name?
No, it's the name of the seat.
Name of what?
See, that window is Ben.
Girl's book over there goes by Julie.
And in the cafeteria
there's a big ol'
lunch table named Kimmy.
Gotcha.
I, um, like your scissors.
You mean Jeff?
What grade are you in?
(GIRL GRUNTS)
I just moved here from Chicago.
Do you mind?
I'm trying to finish breakfast here.
Jimmy J. John gave 16 bushels
of huckleberries to Sally Mae Sue,
who gave 11 to Mary Sally Mae,
who returned three to Jimmy J. John
before spotting six to
Sally Mary Mae's bro, Johnny Jim Sue.
Mia, how many bushels
may Mary Sally Mae have?
What's a huckleberry?
Mia, how do you spell "coulie"?
Can you use it in a sentence?
De flat swam plumly
down the creek through the coulie.
Coulie.
- K...
- (BUZZER SOUNDS)
ART TEACHER: Grab yourself a brush
and get creating, children!
Everything stays the same
La, la, la, la, la
What am I painting here, a house?
ART TEACHER:
The magic of art is not what you see,
but what you make others see.
If everything's the same
then everything's...
Splendid. Good use of
the negative capability, Stephanie.
The assignment was to paint a dog.
Dog went home, that's his mess.
If everything's the same
then everything is the way...
How's your day been so far?
Remember first grade
when I brought a box of cookies to school
that I put on the stoop,
and I didn't know
that a rat got inside the box
and ate and pooped,
and then when I opened the box
it jumped out,
bit Mrs. Brenner on the pinky toe
and gave her rabies?
Yeah.
That was a better school day.
Even for Mrs. Brenner.
Pizza, please.
LUNCH LADY: Oh, sorry, dear.
The girl right in front of you
got the very last slice.
Not a problem.
What else you got?
LUNCH LADY:
We got spinach casserole or tuna surprise.
Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna barf.
So gross.
Bet you wish for
some rat-chewed cookies about now.
Hey, Patrick, right?
Mind if I stomp my tray here
down on big ol' Kimmy?
KIMMY: What did you say?
I just wanted to sit on Kimmy.
- You lookin' to fight me?
- No!
(STAMMERING)
What... You're not... No, I...
Hey, Kimmy, just relax.
New girl wants to go.
I didn't... (GASPS)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey, Kimmy!
- (LAUGHS)
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Now what? You gonna go cry to your mommy?
Our mom is dead.
Well...
Sucks to be you.
(BELL RINGS)
Hey, ain't that something?
I just did a painting of your jacket.
You got two options.
Run to the store to get my pills,
or help me pluck this bird.
Johnny Appleseed planted
red Granny Smiths, not them green ones.
Certainly not Fuji apples,
them's are from the Orient.
Willie, that's a made-up story.
It's folklore. It ain't real.
WILLIE: He's a legend.
An American icon.
BIG SLIM: Yeah, yeah, Willie,
you know everything.
(BELL DINGS)
Hey there, what can I get ya?
You? You work here?
(SCOFFS) You like
asking obvious questions.
I'm picking up an order for Johansen.
Hmm. Sorry about Kimmy, by the way.
Don't you worry, she's a big softie.
Right, right.
Is she your girlfriend?
PATRICK: Are you serious?
WILLIE: Psst.
Over here.
You. Over here. Come on.
You Rose's kin?
- Yes.
- Hot diggity! (LAUGHS)
Welcome to town! Name's Willie.
(SPITS)
Put it there, little lady.
(SPITS)
(LAUGHS)
These here are the boys.
COWBOYS: Howdy.
Howdy.
Oh, yeah. You look just like your mama.
Are you a spitfire like her, too? Huh?
I think so.
I mean, I reckon.
(LAUGHS)
You gals are gonna love it here.
Your granny, she's as sweet as molasses,
and so is that ranch of hers.
Let me tell ya,
the woods behind 'em, there's, uh...
There's something magical about them.
Really?
Oh, he's just pulling your leg there,
pretty sunshine.
You know, just last week
old Willie here claims that he saw UFOs
out there behind McGuire's pumpkin patch.
I said it might have been alien, okay?
It could have been a phantom,
or some kind of
extra-terrestrial poltergeist hybrid.
- I said that!
- (ALL CHUCKLING)
- (YELLS) Anyways!
- (GASPS)
I can tell you are a believer.
Someone who knows the impossible
is always possible.
The word "impossible" literally means...
Okay.
Let's go.
It was nice meeting you.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Mia, it's not magical.
It's just a plain, stupid forest,
like the stupid farm and the stupid...
(GASPS)
EMMA: Oh, crap.
Hi, Kimmy. So good to see you.
I am sorry about
the whole cafeteria mix-up thing today.
KIMMY: Too late for sorrys.
Priscilla!
Whoa, lady! Call off your goon!
Oh, does mommy's little baby
wanna eat the two little girls?
Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.
EMMA: Look, we don't want any trouble,
just let us get by you and...
First let's see what's in the bag.
It's just heart medication.
Pass. What else you got?
Nothing that you'd want.
Just our bikes.
What?
LOUIS: You had us worried sick!
Where are your bikes?
Where have you been?
I forgot my phone.
That's no excuse.
Unacceptable!
I wanna go back to Chicago!
Enough with the attitude, young lady.
This is your home now. Get used to it.
I hate this place!
And I hate you for making us come here!
Don't talk to me like that!
Emma! Emma! Don't...
What's with her?
Got mugged by a dragon.
Been there.
(LOUIS SIGHS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
Hey.
Just go away.
I just wanna show you something real fast.
Ooh.
I love what you've done with the place.
Sorry, that was...
(TOY SQUEAKS)
Ribbit.
(TOY SQUEAKS)
(SIGHS) Look...
I know this big change is hard,
but if you just give it...
I believe,
if you have a little faith in your family
and you just try,
you might find that
you actually kind of like it here.
That's what you said about artichokes.
Exactly.
- And now who loves them?
- Mia.
I still hate them.
Oh.
Hmm.
Anyway, this is what I wanted to show you.
Oh, look at all this.
Oh, crazy Grandma, there she is.
And where is it?
Oh, here it is.
That is your mother at this very ranch.
She's about Mia's age.
Oh, look how happy she is living here.
If she actually lived here,
I'd love this place, too.
I know you would, baby.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
What about artichoke dip?
Nope.
Ah, okay.
- ROSE: Oh!
- (GASPS)
ROSE: (GROANING) Oh, my. Oh...
MIA: Granny, what happened? Are you okay?
Yeah, it was nothing.
I just took a tiny spill.
(SQUEALING)
Oh, Monroe, I'm fine.
You go back to bed.
Don't you fret about your old granny.
Come here.
I'm worried about you.
- Oh...
- Emma, Daddy.
School. Everything.
Oh, worrying is just like a rocking horse.
It's something to do
that gets you nowhere.
Hey, everybody has bad days.
Come on, lay down.
The thing is,
you just gotta believe the next one
is gonna be a little bit better.
You got a spark.
(CHUCKLES)
You are just like your mama.
You know, even when she got so sick,
she didn't think
that anything was impossible.
Impossible is always possible?
Exactly.
That's why you gotta
keep believing with your whole heart.
You might not see her, or hear her,
but her spirit is always with you.
(WHISPERS) Hey, Emma.
Can I borrow your phone?
(MUMBLES SLEEPILY)
I'll take that as a yes.
Thanks.
What is that?
(SNORTING)
Oh, hey, Monroe.
Monroe!
Please, Monroe, come back!
Please?
No, no! Come on, Monroe!
Come on, Monroe, where are you?
(MONROE SQUEALING)
(GASPS) Don't scare me like that!
(EXHALES)
(LOUD SNORT)
Oh, my...
Hurry, Emma! Wake up! You gotta see this!
Come on, wake up! Please!
It's 4:00 a.m.
We don't have to get up
for another 20 minutes.
Please? I gotta show you something.
I told you not to touch my phone!
Pretty awesome, huh?
Why is it so shaky?
I was holding a pig. Who cares?
Can you believe it? They are real.
- What are real?
- Unicorns!
Go to bed.
I found a unicorn, everybody!
- Psst. Dad, can you look at this?
- Huh? What?
You see a unicorn, right?
See what?
The unicorn.
- Right?
- No.
I told you!
Really?
Maybe your eyes are still too sleepy.
I'll make you some coffee to wake you up.
Go to bed! Both of you!
Come on, Mia.
And wash your face. What're you doing?
Oh, my.
Yes.
This is a beautiful white unicorn colt.
I tell ya, those woods
are littered with them.
- Really?
- I told you.
I'm gonna show you something
that is really gonna blow your noggins.
I think that's called an 8-track.
My boyfriend shot this
in the back of the bait and tackle shack.
There's no way that gigantic black tape
only fits eight movies.
Here is indisputable proof
that there is a real live Sasquatch.
I'm still waiting to see
proof of the boyfriend.
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
Look, look, look.
The sloping forehead, the size 17 Nikes.
That's a real live bigfoot.
Accupril, Zocor, Prilosec,
Piroxicam, Lyrica, Toprol,
Colace, Stelara, Acuvail, CardioMax,
Maalox, Rheumatrex, Mayra, Lorazepam.
Hey, Emma, can I show them your phone?
No.
Let me ask you guys something.
What do you guys know about unicorns?
Well, you know,
the horn has a lot of protein
- and potassium inside.
- (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- (OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION)
- Stop it!
Rumor has it that they come from, uh,
Valhalla or Pittsburgh...
Stop!
I happen to be an expert
on the Equus Monoclonius.
Oh, yeah. Sure you are, Willie.
Why'd you ask?
You, uh... You seen one, honey?
Uh...
Huh?
No. Doing a school report.
Ah.
Unicorns are most definitely real.
Every culture has their own legend.
The, uh, natives said
that the horn, or alicorn,
when touched, has the power to heal.
If you capture one,
and it's very hard to do now,
you'll become extremely lucky,
so long as that critter's
always by your side.
Go ahead and tell her
about that vampire thing.
It ain't like a vampire at all!
A vampire?
Now, you, uh...
You wouldn't wanna do this, 'cause...
'Cause the unicorn would die.
But they say if you
remove the horn and drink its blood...
Ugh, so gross!
...you'll have eternal life.
Like a vampire.
And they both fly.
No, you guys are thinking of a Pegasus.
Those are two completely
different species.
You don't know nothing about unicorns!
WILLIE: Before I put you wise,
you thought a yeti was
a Barbra Streisand movie, huh?
That was Elizabeth Presley!
Elizabeth Presley?
You gonna get the hiccups, Willie!
Hey, listen! It's Priscilla Presley,
Elizabeth Taylor...
You don't know nothing!
- That's it!
- You gonna get hit!
- Oh, yeah? (HICCUPS)
- Yeah!
(LAUGHS)
You think I'm gonna get (HICCUPS)
the hiccups?
(MOCK HICCUPS) You got 'em.
It's simple.
We catch us a unicorn.
Willie says they bring good luck.
We sure could use some.
You think we should take advice
from a guy named Crazy Willie?
We bought our toaster
from Crazy Dave's Appliances.
"The word 'unicorn' is Latin.
"An all clean, horn-hold, healing eli..."
Elixir. It's like a magic power.
- (COW MOOS)
- Right.
"But you gotta grip the horn real tight."
Uh-huh. And I heard
that their farts smell like cotton candy.
I don't see that,
but the unicorn reference
was in the Bible nine times!
And no mention of farting?
(COW MOOING)
- No.
- Huh. Weird.
This guy, Leonardo da Vinci,
not the Ninja Turtle,
said exactly how to capture one.
Ah!
"The unicorn for the luck
it bears fair maidens
"forgets its ferocity and wildness,
"and laying aside all fear
will go to its weeping damsel,
"will go to sleep in your lap
and thus the hunters can take it."
Drop it, Mia. It ain't happening.
You don't have to believe in unicorns,
but please,
could you try to believe in me?
If I go on this little
hunting expedition with you,
you have to help me
convince Dad to go back to Chicago.
Um...
Okay. Deal.
Even if we don't bag us a unicorn?
Not a problem.
(HAWKING, SPITTING)
Um, I'll pass.
MIA: Greek mythology, European folklore,
da Vinci, this poet William Rose Bennet.
EMMA: Bent.
MIA: All of them used the same bait
to catch a unicorn.
A pure and innocent damsel
in a white dress
sits weeping under a tree,
flowers woven in her hair.
You want me to cry beneath a tree?
You? (SCOFFS)
Implying I'm not pure and innocent?
The spin the bottle game
at Martha Thompson's birthday party
pretty much closed that chapter.
EMMA: Hey! Can we go now?
Uh!
No.
I think I got an idea.
Can you come over here?
I want you to pull my hair.
(LAUGHS) What?
I'm not gonna pull your hair.
- Just do it.
- No.
- Just do it!
- No.
Just do it!
Fine!
(YELLING) Ow.
Why'd you do that?
You told me to!
I didn't think it'd hurt so...
Well?
Am I crying?
Not even a tear.
It's no use.
I was sure it could work.
It's not fair.
Why don't good things ever happen for us?
Don't worry.
It'll be okay.
I miss Mommy so much.
Me, too.
You believe I saw it, right?
The unicorn?
I do. I really do.
Goodness, it's freezing out here.
Let's get home. Sound good?
Okay.
- (TWIG SNAPS)
- (LOUD SNORT)
What was that?
Huh?
I just thought I heard something.
(GASPING)
What the heck is that?
Quick! Hide! Go, please! Go!
No way!
Hi there.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, settle. Settle.
(NEIGHING)
EMMA: It's okay. It's okay.
Settle. Settle. Settle.
I think its foot is hurt.
Don't worry, we're friendly.
(CHUCKLES)
Wanna come home with us?
My very own unicorn!
I'm gonna name her
Princess Rainbow Sparkle.
It's a boy.
Yeah? How do you know?
By its, um, its horn.
Oh.
Then we'll name him...
Rocco.
Why Rocco?
Obviously 'cause he looks like a Rocco.
Obviously.
(EXHALES WEARILY)
Welcome to your new home, Rocco.
- Dad, wake up!
- What!
BOTH: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
What's going on? Is everything okay?
Follow us! Follow us! Come on!
Okay, okay, okay, I'm coming!
(SIGHS WEARILY)
- Hurry!
- (EXCLAIMS)
Okay, okay. I'm coming, I'm coming.
What're you wearing?
Did you get married?
Come see! Come on! Follow us, come on!
Shh. He's coming.
EMMA: Over here, Dad.
What's going on? The coyotes?
Guess what we got?
Help me out here. What am I looking at?
You don't see it?
Uh, the rope flapping in the wind?
You really don't see it?
See what?
BOTH: The unicorn!
We'll talk about this in the morning.
Huh.
Maybe only kids can see it.
Whoa.
Maybe it's time to re-think
the Easter bunny.
EMMA: Come on, eat it. It's good.
See? See?
Put some in your mouth to show him.
Put it in your mouth.
Up a little late, are we?
Uh-oh.
Looks like someone
doesn't wanna stay at my ranch.
You mean Emma, or...
The yearling.
Oh, he looks so much
like the one your mama played with.
And I notice he has a sprain.
How did that happen?
Our mother owned a unicorn?
Nobody owns a unicorn.
They do what they want, when they want.
(THUNDER CRASHING)
Your mother's colt friend
attracted some desperate desperadoes.
Hiya!
- (THUNDER CRASHING)
- Hiya!
Whoa!
(UNICORN NEIGHS)
ROSE: But your mama...
- (ARROW WHIZZING)
- (YELLS IN PAIN)
ROSE: She would always protect her friend.
No! No!
(GRUNTS)
Uh...
But please, can I keep him?
I promise, I'll feed him, brush him,
take him out on walks,
and even polish his horn every day.
Honey, I need you to understand.
This is a mighty, powerful creature.
It is very easy to take advantage.
There is a reason
that unicorns are not seen by humans.
Most folks are not prepared
to handle this kind of magic.
Willie says if you take off the horn
and drink its blood,
you'll live forever.
Not like I was going to.
And then misfortune will follow you
everywhere, cursed for eternity.
That doesn't sound like
a lot of fun, does it?
Right? Girls, I don't think you realize
how much power you're wielding here.
Without respect, it is dangerous.
So should we just take him back?
He can stay for a couple of days,
just until his leg heals.
You okay with that?
(KISSES) All right. Thank you.
Good night, Rocco.
- Sleep tight.
- (ROSE KISSES)
I'll race you.
Let's go. Ready? Go.
Oh, you're so slow! Come on!
(EMMAAND MIA LAUGHING)
So I only saw him
because I believe Mia saw it?
Yes. You put your faith in your family
and great things happen.
Did Mommy really have a unicorn, too?
Or were you just fooling?
No. Your mama and that unicorn
were like two nuts in a chipmunk's cheek.
- (MIA LAUGHING)
- The things he would do for her.
(SIGHS)
But your mama knew never to
take advantage of that friendship.
Not a problem.
I'm already working
on a ruby and diamond collar.
- Really classy, not tacky.
- (LAUGHS)
Okay.
Very nice. All right,
I want you to say your prayers
and go to sleep.
- (MIA CHUCKLES)
- ROSE: I'm not used to this.
- (LAUGHS)
- Sweet dreams, babies.
Good night, Grandma Rose.
Yeah, good night.
(ROCCO SNORTING)
(HUFFS)
(THUDS)
Bless Emma and Daddy and Grandma Rose
and Monroe and Paco the goat
and Sheryl the cow and all the chickens.
Harry, Joanne, Hunter, Sean, Stephanie,
- Big Ronnie, Little Ronnie...
- EMMA: Just go to sleep.
- ...Tony, Walter, Medium-sized Ronnie...
- (EMMA SIGHS)
EMMA: Will you just go to sleep?
(EMMA GRUNTS)
Most of all, thank you, Mommy,
for sending Rocco from heaven.
With his help, I'm sure it's gonna get
- a lot better for all of us.
- (EMMA GRUNTS)
(SNORTS)
MIA: I miss you. Love you.
Amen.
(EMMAAND MIA LAUGHING)
Girls, I am already having a hard time
adjusting to this new job,
but now I'm gonna be groggy
and sluggish all day.
- (LAUGHING CONTINUES)
- LOUIS: I can't... Hey.
Are you listening to me?
- Oh, yes, sir. Yes.
- Oh. Of course.
- Yes.
- Listen, this is important.
Oh, this is such a big change for me, too.
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
- LOUIS: Not just for you.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- LOUIS: Oh.
Do you think... You think that's funny?
- Oh, no, sir. No.
- Absolutely not.
- BOTH: No.
- LOUIS: Okay. We're done here.
Just... Just go do your chores
and then off to school, okay?
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
- EMMA: Yes sir.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Goodbye, let's go
Music up and windows down
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(COW MOOS)
- All right.
- (COW MOOS)
Come on, come on. You can do it.
The week is over
Good boy!
You're the air I need
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
In moments like these
Whoa! Hey!
Rocco, you can do it. Come on, Rocco.
MIA: Rocco, you can do it.
Heads.
Awesome!
That's a hundred times in a row.
This is incredible! It's amazing!
This luck must be coming from Rocco!
You think?
What do you wanna do next?
Let's try something really cool.
What do you have in mind?
MIA: (PANTING) Whoo!
I found the needle!
Now that's gotta be a world record.
(ROCCO SNORTS AND NEIGHS)
I'm thinking this might be a bad idea.
- You'll be a good boy today, Rocco?
- (ROCCO HUFFS)
- See? Not a problem.
- (BUS APPROACHING)
(SIGHS)
Come on.
Morning, everyone.
EMMA: Do you believe this?
It's like nobody sees him.
I guess they're just
too distracted by their phones
or just too cynical to be believers.
I weep for this generation.
Let's go, Rocco.
Let's go.
EMMA: Rocco, what are you doing?
You're gonna get us in trouble.
Hey. Who's Rocco?
Your boyfriend or something?
No, it's just my sister's unicorn.
- Touch.
- Ah, great.
Now he thinks I'm lovesick
for my old Italian boyfriend.
Nobody will ever believe
you actually had a boyfriend.
(ROCCO WHINNYING)
Why'd he close the window?
It's a bit nippy.
(KIDS SCREAM AND GROAN)
(MIA LAUGHS)
(KIDS CLAMORING)
BOY: Ew!
GIRL: It's everywhere!
One, two, three, four, five, six.
The answer is six.
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
Bravo, Crystal. The spatial relationship
is very disturbing.
Magnificent.
(ROCCO HUFFS)
TEACHER: The word is "stroopwafel."
Stroopwafel.
S-T-R-O-O-P-
W-A-F-E-L.
Stroopwafel.
TEACHER: That is correct.
Pizza, please.
LUNCH LADY: Can't get 'em to detach.
Just take all three slices.
Not a problem!
Thanks, Rocco.
Lunchroom toll.
- Three slices of...
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
Sucks to be you.
- (MAN LAUGHING)
- Says he needs just enough for a bus ride
to his family in Vermont.
Naturally, I gave him what I had.
That's mighty neighborly.
Well, when am I gonna get another chance
to meet a real live Big Foot, huh?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I suppose I could build a hunting blind
in the alley behind Dixie...
(ROCCO HUFFS)
Holy!
Did you guys see that?
The chupacabra?
Or that leprechaun on that motorcycle?
(LAUGHS) No, no, it's...
My mistake.
Weren't nothing there.
It's my dang cataracts.
MIA: I don't get it.
What's the matter with him?
Didn't you have fun today?
(SIGHS)
What's the matter, bud?
I got it. You want a carrot.
Carrot.
Come on, carrot. Carrot.
You know, he's just had a long day.
Probably really tired.
(ROCCO HUFFS)
Good night, Rocco. (SIGHS)
Tomorrow will be better.
- (ROCCO HUFFS)
- MIA: You just gotta believe it.
Good night, Rocco.
(ROCCO HUFFS)
(DOGS BARKING AND HOWLING)
(INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY)
(EMMA GRUNTS)
Emma, did you hear something?
Go to sleep.
- I think someone's out there.
- (EMMA GROANS)
(INDISTINCT MOANING)
What is that?
(MOANING GETS LOUDER)
(WHISPERING) Do you hear that moaning?
Yeah, I do.
(MOANING CONTINUES)
(DOGS BARKING)
(INDISTINCT GRUNTING)
- Whoa!
- (SCREAMS)
(EMMA SCREAMS)
- So gross.
- (GROANS)
This is, uh...
Um...
- Bud.
- (LAUGHS)
- (CHUCKLES)
- Bud.
This is my boyfriend.
- BUD: Howdy.
- Hi.
I'm sorry y'all thought I was spying,
I didn't mean to scare you,
I was just waiting for y'all to go
- so I could come over and...
- ROSE: Suck face.
So, so, very, very gross.
- (SNORTING)
- ROSE: Monroe!
It's past your bed time.
BUD: All right,
well, I guess I better skedaddle.
- All right.
- Good night, ladies.
- It's dang late.
- Good night, Bud.
Come on, bed time.
See? I do have a boyfriend.
BUD: Okay.
All right.
Oh, well.
(DOOR UNLOCKING, OPENING)
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(WHINNIES)
You gotta be the most beautiful thing
these old cataract eyes ever seen.
(ROCCO WHINNYING)
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)
(RATTLING)
(ROCCO WHINNYING)
- (ROCCO CONTINUES WHINNYING)
- (WILLIE SCREAMS)
WILLIE: This is great! This is wonderful!
- (ROCCO WHINNIES)
- (WILLIE GROANS AND GRUNTS)
(WILLIE GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
- Hey.
No more back pain.
Hey.
No more arthritis.
(ROCCO HUFFING)
WILLIE: I'll be taking that horn.
(GASPING)
That ain't happening, mister!
Oh, you're crazy!
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING, GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS) Dang it!
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(GASPING)
You're out of your mind!
(GASPS)
Emma, I'm sure I heard something.
Just go back to sleep.
(SIGHS)
(ROCCO NEIGHING)
Go back to bed, honey.
- (THUDS)
- Ow!
Who poked me?
Rose?
(WILLIE GRUNTING)
(ROSE PANTING)
(WILLIE GRUNTS)
- (GASPS) Hey.
- ROSE: You!
Whoa! Now, Rose, calm down.
ROSE: I... (GROANS)
WILLIE: Ooh.
(ROSE GROANING)
(GASPING)
Your, uh...
Your ticker giving out, huh?
(GROANS)
LOUIS: Rose? You out here?
(ROSE GROANING)
Well, adis, Rose.
(ROSE GASPING)
(LAUGHING)
- (ROSE STRUGGLING)
- LOUIS: Rose?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO)
Emma, what's going on?
(EMMA GROANS)
I'm not sure.
What's going on?
(ROCCO WHINNIES)
Dad? Dad.
- BOTH: Grandma!
- Girls, girls!
- Grandma!
- Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, it's okay.
- MIA: What's going on?
- Everything's fine.
Don't worry. Come with me.
- Just come with me.
- EMMA: What happened?
LOUIS: Don't worry about it.
Everything's fine.
EMMA: What's wrong with her?
MIA: Is she gonna be okay?
LOUIS: She's going in the ambulance
- for a little bit. Don't worry.
- (ROCCO HUFFS)
(SOBBING) Dad, what happened to her?
LOUIS: She took a little spill
and she's gonna be in the hospital
for a short while.
Is she gonna be okay?
Of course she's gonna be okay.
Look, girls, when you get older
your body doesn't work so well
and you can't really
do all the things you used to do
when you were younger.
Well, your grandma, she's...
Well, she's very strong-willed.
It's just her heart...
But she has the best heart
in the whole world!
LOUIS: That she does.
She does, honey.
(COMMENTATOR SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER SPEAKER)
I'll tell you what, son.
You choose the biggest,
meanest hombre out here
and I'll clean his plough.
I am willing...
I am willing to bet
my whole Social Security check on it, huh?
How about that?
Whoa, wait.
Now, if I win,
I get eight seconds
with that varmint, huh?
Right?
(ALL CHEERING)
One, two, three!
- (BONE CRACKS)
- (GROANS, SCREAMS)
(ROOSTER CROWS)
But it's Saturday.
I know, baby,
but I gotta get caught up somehow.
I'm sorry. Look, I'll be home early
and we can go visit Grandma.
How's that sound?
I want to see her now.
I'm pretty sure I got a way to
fix her heart.
What's that?
How?
Our unicorn.
(LOUIS SIGHS)
Baby... (CLEARS THROAT)
I love your wild imagination, I really do.
You get it from your mom.
But there's some real serious
grown-up things happening right now,
so I need you to shut it down, okay?
No more unicorns, all right?
Be good today.
Are you crazy?
You said it. He has magical powers.
- We gotta bring him to Grandma.
- Just forget it, okay?
I promised Dad we'd stay out of trouble.
That hospital is like 100 miles away.
The impossible is always possible.
Emma, what if Gran...
What if she...
I won't sit around and wait.
Not again.
Not if I can do something
about it this time.
(SIGHS) Okay.
What's the plan, sis?
EMMA: This disguise makes no sense.
We don't know who's a believer.
If we come across anybody who can see him,
then they'll just think it's a fancy pony
going to a wedding
or a supermarket opening.
You're forgetting one thing.
A monocle?
The hat's not magical.
- MIA: Oh, yeah.
- (ROCCO HUFFS)
You know, I'm starting to re-think this
'cause Rocco's leg looks like it's healed.
Maybe we should just
bring him back to the forest.
No! I mean, not until
we get to the hospital.
You wanna help Granny, don't you, Rocco?
- (NEIGHS)
- See?
Seriously?
Hey, Priscilla.
Look who's back.
Okay, Kimmy, don't mess with us today.
We've had a family emergency
with our grandmother
and are trying to go to the hospital.
Completely understand.
Just pay the town entrance fee
and you can both be on your way.
This is extortion.
All we have left
is Emma's babysitting money
and $16.11 from my piggy...
Stop helping her!
(GRUNTING)
Let's make this quick.
Priscilla's getting her nails done at 4:00
and it's been a while...
(GRUNTS)
What?
Who?
Who poked me?
I got you...
Listen. Whatever's going on...
(GRUNTS)
My shoulder.
I felt a sharp pain.
Perhaps you're having a stroke.
No, it... It's something else.
I know what it is.
It's the spirit of our deceased mother,
here to protect us
and guide us along our way.
Bull. I don't believe in spirits.
That ghost stuff ain't possible.
The impossible is always possible.
Mom, jab this bully's left shin!
(GRUNTS) Hey! How did you do that?
Right butt cheek!
(WINCES)
Left shin!
Right knee! Smack her face!
Stomp her foot!
Please, make the poking stop!
She messes with you and I?
Ya get the horn!
(BELL JINGLES)
Here ya go. Put that on. There.
One, two, three, bullets!
Read 'em and weep.
Oh!
Sorry, amigos.
Well, I guess it's generic
Aspercreme for me this week.
Come on, Deek.
You know the 2-7 is the worst hand
you could ever have in poker.
That's the hammer. Sheesh.
Who's in for the next one?
Hey, guys.
BIG SLIM:
Hey, pretty girl. How're you doin'?
Where's Willie?
He's probably still tuckered out
from bingo last night.
He didn't even show up
for bingo last night.
Huh. Well, what do
you want with him, little lady?
I wanted to show him my new unicorn.
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
- MEN: Oh.
Oh, she's a beauty.
Uh-huh.
It's a he.
See the horn?
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, uh-huh.
I see it.
Look, I feel for you
and your granny, all right?
But there's no way
I'm stealing my pa's truck.
Especially for some dumb,
make-believe critter.
He's not... Okay, how about this?
We make a bet, all right?
We flip a quarter and if it lands on heads
10, no, 20 times in a row,
then you help us.
If I lose, you get $57
and a gift card
to Komodo Dragon Dress Emporium.
Sure.
Easy money.
It was a trick coin, right?
It was your quarter.
All right, you know what? Let's go again.
This time with a nickel, okay?
- Mmm-hmm.
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
What?
Triple or nothing.
Argh!
I don't know if it's safe back here.
Rocco's magic will protect me.
PATRICK: That's crazy.
Well, we're staying off the highway
so nobody sees us,
so it's gonna be pretty bumpy.
Fine with me.
See you later, Rocco.
PATRICK: Oh, come on!
WILLIE: 89, 90, 91, 92, 93,
94, 95, 96, 97...
(SIGHS AND CHUCKLES)
COWGIRL: Someone took their vitamins.
Oh, no, honey. This is...
This is from 100% pure unicorn.
Wow. I think
I tried some of that at Coachella.
Whoo!
How's about you and I
paint the town red tonight?
A little dinner, a little dancin',
think you can keep up with me?
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Oh, dude.
You got a lot of energy, but
you're hella old.
I was hella younger yesterday.
William, your days are numbered.
Who says it has to stay this way, huh?
(LAUGHS)
EMMA: When I said we should lay low,
I did not mean literally.
Look, I'm doing the best
I can here, all right?
I can't even reach the gas.
Can you even see the road?
Yeah, maybe a little bit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(FARTING)
Oh!
Does not smell like cotton candy to me!
EMMA: Slow down!
Hit the brake! Hit the brake!
Let's go, come on!
Uh-oh.
Oh, no!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Sure a lot of potholes on this road!
Slow down!
This is a lot harder
than go-karts!
You think?
The shocks on this thing are terrible!
What is that smell?
- It wasn't me.
- (COW MOOS)
Cows! Move!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(ROCCO FARTING)
MIA: Stop farting!
Okay, that's it! No more carrots for you!
Try the emergency brake!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
What are you doing?
Whoa, that thing has so many uses.
It's like a Swiss army horn.
Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!
We're crashing for a tree!
Mayday! Mayday!
You're making a heart.
That is so adorable.
Are we slowing down?
(NEIGHS)
What?
Huh. What's going on?
BOTH: What just happened?
This is impossible.
There is no way
we should have survived that.
Didn't you hear?
The impossible is apparently possible.
I don't like it.
You okay back there?
Uh-huh. Could use an air freshener.
Come on, Rocco. Out.
(CLANGS)
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
No. It can't...
You gotta be kidding.
(MIA GIGGLING)
Clive's Auto Repair.
About 40 miles from here.
Should I call?
I guess.
(SIGHS) It's gonna take him
at least a couple hours
to find his way out here
and tow us back into the shop.
Gosh, I'm in so much trouble.
(SIGHS)
Worrying is like a rocking horse.
It don't get you nowhere.
And we'll be fine
as long as he's by our side.
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(EMMA CHUCKLES)
Girl's got a little country in her.
You think?
Yeah.
I like how you take everything in stride.
You know what you want
and you don't let nothing get in your way.
- (HORN HONKING)
- (BOTH GASP)
How? We haven't even called him yet.
MIA: I was hoping that would happen!
(GRUNTS)
Oh, no, no, no! This ain't good!
(SNIFFING)
Still fresh. Still fresh.
Now, where did those
little brats take him?
Ooh, cotton candy.
No, think, Will! Think!
Okay, it's the weekend, it's the week...
Kids ain't in school and, uh,
um, I gotta find 'em.
I gotta find 'em.
(GASPS) And fast!
Oh, get out!
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
Four tires, new brake pads,
and fixing that trailer floor
with three hours of labor and parts
we're looking at $367.
Well then, pony up, everybody.
Even with Kimmy's charitable donation
we're still short $100.
I got an idea.
(COIN CLINKS)
Could you do that 99 more times?
Rocco, may I?
(NEIGHS)
One hundred buckaroos!
All right, let's go pay the man.
And we'll go to the hospital
and get Gran across the street.
All right, come on, Mia.
MIA: Soda, please.
Thanks! (GIGGLES)
Come on, Rocco.
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(ALL SNORING)
(PANTING) Where are they?
- (MEN GASP)
- What? Where?
Where's them Dindal girls?
Dang, Willie, what's got you riled?
You got a scorpion in your britches?
They caught themselves
one real live honest to goodness unicorn.
You better get yourself a new cow...
'Cause we're tired of this old bull!
Hey, stop that!
How'd he do that?
(SCREAMING)
BOTH: Dang!
You all can have this power, too.
Heck, better.
How'd you like to live forever?
BOTH: Forever?
All we have to do is
hunt down one little old unicorn.
But them two girls
took off with Patrick a few hours ago.
Yeah, and we don't know where.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- KIMMY: Well, I do.
(YELLS)
(SNARLS)
- (HEARING AID RINGS)
- (SCREAMS)
(SOBBING)
Are you sure they'll
let us have an animal in the hospital?
Sure. We'll say he's an
emotional support unicorn.
Okay, she's on the fourth floor.
We do not want any unwanted attention
for us or the unicorn.
Where is Rocco?
PATIENT: He walked right...
MIA: There he is.
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
MIA: Rocco! Rocco!
No, no! Okay, you take the stairs,
I'll wait to see
if he comes back down. Go, go, go!
(GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYING)
And you will see what He has done
If you look around this world, my friend
And you will see what He has done
You can hear
You can hear
You can hear
And you can hear what He has done...
SURGEON: Mr. Bachman,
this is a simple surgery.
We'll have that
gallbladder out lickety-split.
Uh, I see a unicorn?
SURGEON: The anesthesia has kicked in.
ASSISTING NURSE:
But I haven't turned on the gas.
You will see
You will see
And you will see
And you will see
Take a look, my friend
And see what He has done
He changed my way of thinking
And took me up where! Belong
Oh, he helped me change my way
He helped me change my way
(BABIES CRYING)
- (CRYING STOPS)
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
(CRYING BEGINS AGAIN)
Rocco?
Rocco.
A-ha!
Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize.
(GROANS)
- (SCREAMS)
- Sorry!
(GRUNTS)
MIA: Which way?
Did you see the unicorn?
- He smiled at me!
- ORDERLY: Sure he did.
- That way.
- ORDERLY: Can I get two ccs of lithium?
Is that bigfoot?
You can see
You can see what He has done
You can see
You can see
You will see
You will see
You will see
You can hear
You can hear
You can hear
You can hear
Oh, you will see
You will see
Yes, you will
You will see
Yeah
(SNORTING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hi.
(NEIGHS)
Where did you come from?
You're so soft.
Whoa.
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(GIRL GASPS)
BOY: Wow!
(PANTING) Any luck, guys?
No, he's still MIA.
That's me. I'm M-I-A.
What're you talking about?
I'm Mia.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
Over here. This way.
How do these kids see Rocco
when the kids at school didn't?
'Cause these kids
need to believe
the impossible is still possible.
MIA: Ready to see Grandma, Rocco?
Come on.
KIDS: Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
(MONITOR BEEPING)
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER PA)
Gran? You awake?
(ROSE GROANS)
It's your granddaughters, remember?
(CHUCKLES)
I see you brought Rocco with you.
MIA: Yeah, for you.
To make you better.
Is that so?
So all you gotta do is just
put your hands on his horn
and you'll be as good as new. Okay?
No more of your spells
or forgetting everything.
(MIA CHUCKLES)
You... Oopsie...
(ROSE STRUGGLING)
(EXHALES)
What's the matter? You need help?
No. Thank you.
She doesn't understand.
You don't understand. This will fix you.
I got my own magic.
So do you.
So I'm just gonna hang on
to my rusty old parts
until the warranty runs out.
You know what I'm saying?
But we have Rocco and he'll solve
all your problems like he did for me.
But I...
Don't you hate forgetting
everything all the time?
Baby, forgetting your past
makes it easier to let go.
No, you need it! You need it!
I've had a good, long life.
And I've laughed as much as I cried.
But all you gotta do is
just put your hand on his...
Girls, girls. Babies, babies, babies.
Look at our friend.
Look at how short
and colorless his horn is.
How did we not notice that?
What's the matter with him?
Well, I think
he's running out of good fortune,
and I certainly don't want him
to spend the last of it on me.
You best get him back to the woods
to his herd and his mama
before it's too late.
- His mother?
- ROSE: Yeah, baby.
Will you do that for me?
I wanna hear you say it.
Not a problem.
I'm so proud of you.
(MONITOR BEEPS RAPIDLY, STOPS)
You're coming with us?
Well, I might be on my way out,
but it's not today.
Come on, Rocco, let's go.
Yeah, that's great. Thank you so much.
All right. All right, thanks. Bye-bye.
What?
Mechanic said the truck's ready.
- Oh, good.
- Awesome.
Rose? Where y'all going?
The woods. And you're driving.
Okay, let's go.
Good boy.
ROSE: So, handsome.
What are your intentions
with my granddaughter?
- Uh, me?
- Yeah.
Uh...
Oh, look! The cows!
EMMA: Mia, he does not look good.
It's my fault.
I took advantage of you
and I took you away from your family.
And Emma and I know
what it's like to be without your mother.
It's the worst thing
that could ever possibly happen.
We'll get you back to your family, Rocco.
I promise.
Oh.
What's going on out there?
Excuse me, I'll be taking these keys.
Oh.
(BOTH GASP)
Ladies, this here is a holdup!
Leave him alone! He's weak!
He needs to get back to his mother!
- (LAUGHS)
- No!
(ROCCO NEIGHING)
ROSE: You fool!
Do you have any idea what
you're getting yourself into?
No, not exactly.
(MIA SHOUTING)
WILLIE: Come on!
- (GRUNTING)
- (ROCCO NEIGHING)
MIA: Don't hurt him! Leave him alone!
WILLIE: Come on!
Willie, stop it!
You're a taker and a bully
and you've got a dark heart!
At least mine's gonna last forever.
ROSE: You're gonna be one of
the most cursed men
that ever walked the Earth!
The old bag's right.
Boys, before we take his horn
we need to get ourselves
a good-sized nest egg.
(LAUGHTER)
WILLIE: Hiya!
BUD: This is like trying to
find a needle in a haystack.
EMMA: That's actually
easier than you think.
This, however, is pointless.
We're not giving up!
(EMMA SIGHS)
Hey, Emma.
I'm sorry I was
such a jerk when I first met you.
You weren't that big a jerk.
(CHUCKLES)
Is it okay if...
(SNIFFS)
Grody.
I'd really like to kiss...
- (HORN HONKING)
- (BOTH GASP)
Dad's here!
Oh, finally.
MIA: Oh, my God.
Yes, I will get the jackets.
You two are in deep trouble!
What are you thinking?
And with your grandmother
in the hospital, no less.
I don't mind.
Rose. What're you doing here?
She's helping us save Rocco.
What... Which one's Rocco?
The old cowboy or the new one?
Oh, those two handsome gentlemen
are Emma's and my beaus.
Beaus like boyfriends?
(SIGH) I know.
So gross, right?
We'll talk about that later.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Okay, so, um, who is Rocco?
BOTH: Our unicorn.
Okay, okay. Um... Get in the car.
Now!
MIA: Oh, oh, God.
EMMA: Okay. (GRUNTS) Yeah.
MIA: You brought Monroe?
Of course I did!
I'm not gonna leave him at home alone,
he's only two.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
(BELL RINGING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(RATTLING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(EAGLE SCREECHES)
Say what you want
I'm in the groove
Yeah, I got that flavor
You can taste it too
Come on, let's be honest
You know I got the moves
Everybody's watching me
do what I do
- (BELL RINGING)
- (PEOPLE CHEERING)
Let's break the bank, boys.
I'm so cold, call me Mr. Cool
(YELLS)
If you wanna get like me
then you gotta move
(BELL RINGING)
Ain't no stopping
when you feel the beat
(YELLS)
"Cause once you get
that rhythm going
You're bound to move ya feet
(BELL RINGING)
(CHEERING LOUDLY)
(NICKERS)
(BELL RINGING)
(GRUNTING)
- Dad?
- The kids didn't have anything to...
Not interested!
Well, Emma.
Looks like you're gonna
get your wish after all.
How do you mean?
I called Uncle Jeff in Chicago today.
Him and Aunt Erica agreed
to help keep you in line.
Lord knows I can't.
I don't wanna go back.
I like it here. It's my home now.
LOUIS: What? I...
You know what? At this point,
I don't care what you want.
What I want, Dad, is to go after Rocco!
We think we know where they took him!
- What are you talking about?
- Willie...
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Everybody! Shh!
Not another peep.
(MONROE CONTINUES GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
You asked me to show
a little faith in family.
How about you, Dad?
Trust in family.
There's nothing you can't overcome.
You don't go swimming
in deep water with your britches on.
- That's true, actually.
- Enough!
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- That's true.
Everyone shut it!
Shut it.
I live with a bunch of crazy people.
Dad, you don't have to
believe in unicorns.
Just believe in us.
(LOUIS SIGHS)
Oh, I can't believe I'm gonna do this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where do you think you're going?
Kids aren't allowed in there.
MIA: But Rocco.
ROSE: We'll get him. Sit tight.
Oh, uh, by the way,
Monroe's diaper needs changing.
That's true.
(GRUNTING)
WILLIE: Two bullets.
- (LAUGHING)
- Ooh.
Hey, Willie, uh, me and the boys,
we were thinking that
maybe we go, uh, dancing,
and maybe, uh, you know, kind of
get the chew on, 'cause we're hungry.
Yeah, I haven't had
corn on the cob in 20 years.
We're not leaving
till we clean this place out.
Then, the ritual sacrifice.
Uh, pardon me, gentlemen.
Don't mean to interrupt.
Um, may I have a quick word?
We ain't been cheatin'.
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.
I... Is one of you Crazy Willie?
Just plain Will is fine, thank you.
What you want, stranger?
Ah, well, hi, Will.
Um... (CHUCKLES)
This is a little embarrassing, but, um,
I'm Mia Dindal's father and...
That sweet little cash cow
ain't goin' nowhere.
Whoa. No, no, no, no.
Wait, is it a calf or a colt?
It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
Look, sir,
there is no reason to get violent here.
Don't make me tell you twice.
Okay.
I'll just...
Now, where were we?
Am I the big blind?
Hi, sorry, me again.
Uh, how about you just hand me those reins
and I walk right out of here.
You got rocks for brains, son?
I...
- You had your fun.
- Let him go!
- All of you, get!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, hey, miss,
I'll have a Sea Breeze please.
A twist of lime.
- What're you...
- I'm thirsty.
There ain't no way
I'm ever gonna leave with that...
Two seven off suit.
You've been dealt a hammer.
That's the worst hand a man can get.
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
- Yes!
- WILLIE: Oh, no, you don't.
- Go, go!
- Where do you think you're going?
- (NEIGHS)
- WOMAN: Oh!
(GROANS)
(LAUGHS)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Take some of my magic, Rocco.
(MAGICAL TINKLING)
(EXCLAIMS)
You got nowhere to go, little lady!
(SNORTS)
(PANTING)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(NEIGHING)
Yeah!
Don't let her get away!
That... That's a unicorn.
That's a unicorn.
When we tell my dad about this,
can we leave out...
I mean, he'll probably be cool
with me doing something stupid
for a pretty girl, but...
Stealing his truck for a unicorn?
You think I'm pretty?
You like asking obvious questions.
(NEIGHING)
Mia! Where is she going?
(MIA URGES ROCCO)
I cannot catch a break.
Go, Rocco, go!
She's heading for the hills.
Willie. Willie. Willie, just hold your
roll here for a second, Willie, will ya?
The pretty little girl,
you might hurt her.
No mights about it.
Dang, you are crazy.
Willie, we didn't sign up for that.
You're just gonna have to
deal us out, Willie.
- Deal us out.
- Suit yourselves.
- (URGES HORSE)
- (NEIGHS)
(NEIGHING)
- ROSE: Willie!
- Everyone in the car.
PATRICK: Come on, let's go!
EMMA: You get in the back.
- Okay.
- Buckle up.
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (COW MOOS)
You have got to be kidding me!
(COW MOOS)
ALL: Moo-ve!
Come on, Rocco.
You ain't gonna get away this time, missy!
Come on, boy.
I'm putting all my faith and trust in you.
That's it, boy! That's it!
(ROCCO WHINNIES)
EMMA: Dad, she's going around that corner!
ROSE: Don't lose 'em!
- Step on it!
- Go!
- I am trying!
- EMMAAND ROSE: Go!
Missy, you are a pain in my neck,
you know that?
Come on!
Leave her alone! Stop it!
(URGING HORSE)
(HORSE NEIGHS)
- You better not hurt her!
- Stop it!
ROSE: Go, Mia!
(URGING HORSE)
- (ROCCO WHINNIES)
- Go away!
That idiot's gonna kill her!
Watch out, baby!
(WHINNIES)
(WHINNIES)
Oh, dang!
(SCREAMS)
- Mia!
- No!
- (SCREAMS)
- (NEIGHING)
(SCREAMING)
Mia! Mia!
Mia! Mia! Mia!
(SCREAMS) No!
No, no, no, this can't be happening!
No! Mia!
(SOBBING) No!
Mia!
ROSE: No...
She's gone.
LOUIS: No, no, no, no, no.
(MAGICAL TINKLING)
Holy molasses!
They really can fly.
Impossibly possible.
Yay!
LOUIS: That's incredible!
(LAUGHING)
EMMA: Come on. Come on.
Come on, guys, keep up.
I... I think it's... Yeah.
Over here. Come on.
(MAGICAL TINKLING)
(BOTH WHINNYING SOFTLY)
I have gotta get a picture of this.
Unbelievable.
You may not see us or hear us,
but know
our spirit will always be with you.
Goodbye, Rocco.
(GIGGLES)
Have you ever seen
anything more beautiful?
Hmm.
Sure have.
(ROSE LAUGHS)
- Oh, don't look.
- (GRUNTING)
So gross.
- Help!
- (CAWING)
Hey... Hey!
Little girl!
I was... I was just jesting.
- (BRANCH CRACKING)
- (WHIMPERING)
Whoo!
Whoo, whoo, whoo
whoo, whoo, whoo
I've seen endless wonders
that! Barely could believe
I've seen all the stars
in heaven staring back at me
I've seen a billion
minds collide
Then stream into my eyes
As time rolls on
I won't let life leave me behind
Oh, whoa, oh
Let's dream out loud
'Cause all we know
Has been turned upside down
Everything is possible now
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
I've seen things my father said
He never thought I'd see
I wonder what my kids will find
To roll their eyes at me
I can see the future coming
And, man, it's such a sight
But time will waste me
If I don't stop wasting time
Oh, whoa, oh
Let's dream out loud
'Cause all we know
Has been turned upside down
Everything is possible now
Oh, whoa, oh
Let's dream out loud
'Cause all we know
Has been turned upside down
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Sing it too now
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
I've seen all the prophets fall
From pillars made of sand
I've seen truth
dragged through the mud
Then never heard again
I've seen the
precious water flowing
Stolen by the blind
You've got yours now
You want all that's left of mine
Oh, whoa, oh
Let's dream out loud
'Cause all we know
Has been turned upside down
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
PLAYING)
(HONKING HORN)
For crying out loud,
we've been sitting here forever!
Not too late to turn back.
Don't worry, Dad.
I'm sure the road will clear up soon.
Traffic was the one thing
I thought we left behind.
You're taking up two lanes!
What are you doing?
(HONKS HORN)
Come on, ya fat cow!
Daddy, don't be mean!
How is that mean? Look at her.
- Move, Bessie! We don't have all day!
- (MOOS)
Let's go!
You're making her nervous.
Baby, it's fine.
That's how milkshakes are made.
Come on!
Mia, what're you doing?
Hey, cow!
Moo-ve!
Okay, then.
Good try, baby.
Okay, 10 more seconds
and we're having burgers for dinner.
- Dad, no!
- Stop it, Daddy!
Five, four, three, two...
- Oh! Oh!
- (MOOING)
- Yay!
- It's about time! Thank you!
Okay, let's go.
- (BLEATING)
- LOUIS: Whoa!
- GIRLS: Whoa!
- Oh, come on!
(HORN HONKS)
EMMA: You're up, Mia.
Go tell this punk to baa-ck off.
(WOMAN HUMMING)
Okay, easy.
- Sip. Sip.
- (HORN HONKING)
Oh, Monroe, looks like we have company.
(MUMBLING)
I know, I know, I know.
Hi!
- Welcome!
- (EXHALES)
Well, hello there!
Welcome to the ranch.
Oh, hello.
Sorry it took so long.
We got cow blocked.
No worries.
The girls got big, huh?
Ah, sure did!
Wow.
So, who are you people?
Uh...
Uh, hi, Rose. You know us. I'm Louis.
You asked the girls and I to...
To come and help you with the ranch.
We're Samantha's family.
Oh, dear.
My sweet Sam left us about a year past.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We, uh...
We're well aware. Um...
You stayed with us,
uh, in Chicago for the funeral.
You helped out with
the reception at our apartment afterwards.
Remember?
It was really sad.
Oh, did you serve
those little piggies in a blanket?
Yeah. Emma made them.
ROSE: Oh, yes!
It's all coming back.
They were delicious!
Did you bring any?
Uh, no hors d'oeuvres,
but we've got some gummy bears
in the cup holder.
Oh, that's a shame. Well, all right.
Let's all get washed up for dinner, okay?
- Grandma.
- Yep?
If you didn't even remember me,
then why did you say I had gotten taller?
Were you smaller once?
Uh, yeah.
Well, there you go.
(BOTH LAUGH)
LOUIS: This is quite the spread, Rose.
You sure you weren't expecting company?
Oh, sometimes my boyfriend comes over
to share some fiddles with me and Monroe.
You have a boyfriend, Granny?
Don't you?
(LAUGHS) Burn!
Well, at least I have friends.
Not anymore. They're in Chicago.
You'll make new friends in no time.
Personally, I am very excited
for this fresh start.
I don't have to tell you, we've had
quite the streak of bad luck
this past year.
You don't say?
Mmm-hmm.
I got laid off,
our landlord sold the building,
uh, Emma broke her arm.
Mia's grades started slipping.
Only in spelling.
Spelling is hard.
Yes, it is.
Oh, the van needed a new fuel pump.
That was really expensive.
Uh, what else am I forgetting?
We lost our mother.
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
You're right, baby. That, uh,
was hands down the worst thing
that's ever happened to all of us.
Well, everybody has bad days,
and you just have to trust
that the next one is
gonna be a little bit better.
- You gotta stay positive.
- Mmm-hmm.
Positive.
Put your faith in your family,
and there's nothing we can't overcome.
I agree
and I think
the Dindals' luck is about to change.
- Here, here. I'll drink to that.
- (GIGGLES)
Mia! You're such an idiot!
I told you to stop playing around
and to be careful.
Whoa!
Fire!
Fire! Fire!
- Fire!
- It's okay, it's okay.
There we go.
Not a problem.
(GRUNTING)
(ROSE HUMMING)
Listen, Gran, I hope we're not being
too much of an inconvenience.
Just say the word and we're on
the next flight back to Chicago.
Right, Mia?
Nonsense.
As long as you make yourself scarce
when my gentleman caller
comes for Netflix and chill.
Oh, your boyfriend, right.
We'll, uh, give you your space,
right, Mia?
Right, Mia?
Huh? Yeah. Space. Space.
The final frontier.
ROSE: You are not guests, you're family.
This is your home now.
But this is a working ranch.
You know what that means.
- You work?
- ROSE: Exactly.
(DOOR SHUTS)
EMMA: Oh, crap.
Time for chores!
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
Well, it goes on and on
Like a sad, sad country song
(GRUNTING)
I thought it can't get worse
Then one more thing went wrong
Host my dog, my house
my wife, my pickup truck
I can't explain it
but let's just face it
Sometimes life just sucks
But! Keep holding on
It won't be long
My soul will find
(GROWLS)
Somehow, some day
I'm gonna find a way
I'm gonna get what's mine
No one said it would be easy
(SCREAMING)
I've come too far to give up now
No, I'll never stop believing
Things will turn around
My feet will touch the ground
Right about now
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(BOTH GROANING)
Rise and shine, time for school!
- (CLANGING PAN)
- (GIRLS GROANING)
(MIA SNORING)
You're snoring.
(YAWNING) Who is that?
What? You're mumbling.
I thought I saw a man with a hat and
a long jacket.
Did you?
- (BUS APPROACHING)
- It's here. Get up.
Come on.
Try to blend in.
There's no seats together.
Ask someone to move.
Just take this one.
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
Ugh.
Patrick. Is that your name?
No, it's the name of the seat.
Name of what?
See, that window is Ben.
Girl's book over there goes by Julie.
And in the cafeteria
there's a big ol'
lunch table named Kimmy.
Gotcha.
I, um, like your scissors.
You mean Jeff?
What grade are you in?
(GIRL GRUNTS)
I just moved here from Chicago.
Do you mind?
I'm trying to finish breakfast here.
Jimmy J. John gave 16 bushels
of huckleberries to Sally Mae Sue,
who gave 11 to Mary Sally Mae,
who returned three to Jimmy J. John
before spotting six to
Sally Mary Mae's bro, Johnny Jim Sue.
Mia, how many bushels
may Mary Sally Mae have?
What's a huckleberry?
Mia, how do you spell "coulie"?
Can you use it in a sentence?
De flat swam plumly
down the creek through the coulie.
Coulie.
- K...
- (BUZZER SOUNDS)
ART TEACHER: Grab yourself a brush
and get creating, children!
Everything stays the same
La, la, la, la, la
What am I painting here, a house?
ART TEACHER:
The magic of art is not what you see,
but what you make others see.
If everything's the same
then everything's...
Splendid. Good use of
the negative capability, Stephanie.
The assignment was to paint a dog.
Dog went home, that's his mess.
If everything's the same
then everything is the way...
How's your day been so far?
Remember first grade
when I brought a box of cookies to school
that I put on the stoop,
and I didn't know
that a rat got inside the box
and ate and pooped,
and then when I opened the box
it jumped out,
bit Mrs. Brenner on the pinky toe
and gave her rabies?
Yeah.
That was a better school day.
Even for Mrs. Brenner.
Pizza, please.
LUNCH LADY: Oh, sorry, dear.
The girl right in front of you
got the very last slice.
Not a problem.
What else you got?
LUNCH LADY:
We got spinach casserole or tuna surprise.
Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna barf.
So gross.
Bet you wish for
some rat-chewed cookies about now.
Hey, Patrick, right?
Mind if I stomp my tray here
down on big ol' Kimmy?
KIMMY: What did you say?
I just wanted to sit on Kimmy.
- You lookin' to fight me?
- No!
(STAMMERING)
What... You're not... No, I...
Hey, Kimmy, just relax.
New girl wants to go.
I didn't... (GASPS)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey, Kimmy!
- (LAUGHS)
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Now what? You gonna go cry to your mommy?
Our mom is dead.
Well...
Sucks to be you.
(BELL RINGS)
Hey, ain't that something?
I just did a painting of your jacket.
You got two options.
Run to the store to get my pills,
or help me pluck this bird.
Johnny Appleseed planted
red Granny Smiths, not them green ones.
Certainly not Fuji apples,
them's are from the Orient.
Willie, that's a made-up story.
It's folklore. It ain't real.
WILLIE: He's a legend.
An American icon.
BIG SLIM: Yeah, yeah, Willie,
you know everything.
(BELL DINGS)
Hey there, what can I get ya?
You? You work here?
(SCOFFS) You like
asking obvious questions.
I'm picking up an order for Johansen.
Hmm. Sorry about Kimmy, by the way.
Don't you worry, she's a big softie.
Right, right.
Is she your girlfriend?
PATRICK: Are you serious?
WILLIE: Psst.
Over here.
You. Over here. Come on.
You Rose's kin?
- Yes.
- Hot diggity! (LAUGHS)
Welcome to town! Name's Willie.
(SPITS)
Put it there, little lady.
(SPITS)
(LAUGHS)
These here are the boys.
COWBOYS: Howdy.
Howdy.
Oh, yeah. You look just like your mama.
Are you a spitfire like her, too? Huh?
I think so.
I mean, I reckon.
(LAUGHS)
You gals are gonna love it here.
Your granny, she's as sweet as molasses,
and so is that ranch of hers.
Let me tell ya,
the woods behind 'em, there's, uh...
There's something magical about them.
Really?
Oh, he's just pulling your leg there,
pretty sunshine.
You know, just last week
old Willie here claims that he saw UFOs
out there behind McGuire's pumpkin patch.
I said it might have been alien, okay?
It could have been a phantom,
or some kind of
extra-terrestrial poltergeist hybrid.
- I said that!
- (ALL CHUCKLING)
- (YELLS) Anyways!
- (GASPS)
I can tell you are a believer.
Someone who knows the impossible
is always possible.
The word "impossible" literally means...
Okay.
Let's go.
It was nice meeting you.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Mia, it's not magical.
It's just a plain, stupid forest,
like the stupid farm and the stupid...
(GASPS)
EMMA: Oh, crap.
Hi, Kimmy. So good to see you.
I am sorry about
the whole cafeteria mix-up thing today.
KIMMY: Too late for sorrys.
Priscilla!
Whoa, lady! Call off your goon!
Oh, does mommy's little baby
wanna eat the two little girls?
Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.
EMMA: Look, we don't want any trouble,
just let us get by you and...
First let's see what's in the bag.
It's just heart medication.
Pass. What else you got?
Nothing that you'd want.
Just our bikes.
What?
LOUIS: You had us worried sick!
Where are your bikes?
Where have you been?
I forgot my phone.
That's no excuse.
Unacceptable!
I wanna go back to Chicago!
Enough with the attitude, young lady.
This is your home now. Get used to it.
I hate this place!
And I hate you for making us come here!
Don't talk to me like that!
Emma! Emma! Don't...
What's with her?
Got mugged by a dragon.
Been there.
(LOUIS SIGHS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
Hey.
Just go away.
I just wanna show you something real fast.
Ooh.
I love what you've done with the place.
Sorry, that was...
(TOY SQUEAKS)
Ribbit.
(TOY SQUEAKS)
(SIGHS) Look...
I know this big change is hard,
but if you just give it...
I believe,
if you have a little faith in your family
and you just try,
you might find that
you actually kind of like it here.
That's what you said about artichokes.
Exactly.
- And now who loves them?
- Mia.
I still hate them.
Oh.
Hmm.
Anyway, this is what I wanted to show you.
Oh, look at all this.
Oh, crazy Grandma, there she is.
And where is it?
Oh, here it is.
That is your mother at this very ranch.
She's about Mia's age.
Oh, look how happy she is living here.
If she actually lived here,
I'd love this place, too.
I know you would, baby.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
What about artichoke dip?
Nope.
Ah, okay.
- ROSE: Oh!
- (GASPS)
ROSE: (GROANING) Oh, my. Oh...
MIA: Granny, what happened? Are you okay?
Yeah, it was nothing.
I just took a tiny spill.
(SQUEALING)
Oh, Monroe, I'm fine.
You go back to bed.
Don't you fret about your old granny.
Come here.
I'm worried about you.
- Oh...
- Emma, Daddy.
School. Everything.
Oh, worrying is just like a rocking horse.
It's something to do
that gets you nowhere.
Hey, everybody has bad days.
Come on, lay down.
The thing is,
you just gotta believe the next one
is gonna be a little bit better.
You got a spark.
(CHUCKLES)
You are just like your mama.
You know, even when she got so sick,
she didn't think
that anything was impossible.
Impossible is always possible?
Exactly.
That's why you gotta
keep believing with your whole heart.
You might not see her, or hear her,
but her spirit is always with you.
(WHISPERS) Hey, Emma.
Can I borrow your phone?
(MUMBLES SLEEPILY)
I'll take that as a yes.
Thanks.
What is that?
(SNORTING)
Oh, hey, Monroe.
Monroe!
Please, Monroe, come back!
Please?
No, no! Come on, Monroe!
Come on, Monroe, where are you?
(MONROE SQUEALING)
(GASPS) Don't scare me like that!
(EXHALES)
(LOUD SNORT)
Oh, my...
Hurry, Emma! Wake up! You gotta see this!
Come on, wake up! Please!
It's 4:00 a.m.
We don't have to get up
for another 20 minutes.
Please? I gotta show you something.
I told you not to touch my phone!
Pretty awesome, huh?
Why is it so shaky?
I was holding a pig. Who cares?
Can you believe it? They are real.
- What are real?
- Unicorns!
Go to bed.
I found a unicorn, everybody!
- Psst. Dad, can you look at this?
- Huh? What?
You see a unicorn, right?
See what?
The unicorn.
- Right?
- No.
I told you!
Really?
Maybe your eyes are still too sleepy.
I'll make you some coffee to wake you up.
Go to bed! Both of you!
Come on, Mia.
And wash your face. What're you doing?
Oh, my.
Yes.
This is a beautiful white unicorn colt.
I tell ya, those woods
are littered with them.
- Really?
- I told you.
I'm gonna show you something
that is really gonna blow your noggins.
I think that's called an 8-track.
My boyfriend shot this
in the back of the bait and tackle shack.
There's no way that gigantic black tape
only fits eight movies.
Here is indisputable proof
that there is a real live Sasquatch.
I'm still waiting to see
proof of the boyfriend.
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
Look, look, look.
The sloping forehead, the size 17 Nikes.
That's a real live bigfoot.
Accupril, Zocor, Prilosec,
Piroxicam, Lyrica, Toprol,
Colace, Stelara, Acuvail, CardioMax,
Maalox, Rheumatrex, Mayra, Lorazepam.
Hey, Emma, can I show them your phone?
No.
Let me ask you guys something.
What do you guys know about unicorns?
Well, you know,
the horn has a lot of protein
- and potassium inside.
- (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- (OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION)
- Stop it!
Rumor has it that they come from, uh,
Valhalla or Pittsburgh...
Stop!
I happen to be an expert
on the Equus Monoclonius.
Oh, yeah. Sure you are, Willie.
Why'd you ask?
You, uh... You seen one, honey?
Uh...
Huh?
No. Doing a school report.
Ah.
Unicorns are most definitely real.
Every culture has their own legend.
The, uh, natives said
that the horn, or alicorn,
when touched, has the power to heal.
If you capture one,
and it's very hard to do now,
you'll become extremely lucky,
so long as that critter's
always by your side.
Go ahead and tell her
about that vampire thing.
It ain't like a vampire at all!
A vampire?
Now, you, uh...
You wouldn't wanna do this, 'cause...
'Cause the unicorn would die.
But they say if you
remove the horn and drink its blood...
Ugh, so gross!
...you'll have eternal life.
Like a vampire.
And they both fly.
No, you guys are thinking of a Pegasus.
Those are two completely
different species.
You don't know nothing about unicorns!
WILLIE: Before I put you wise,
you thought a yeti was
a Barbra Streisand movie, huh?
That was Elizabeth Presley!
Elizabeth Presley?
You gonna get the hiccups, Willie!
Hey, listen! It's Priscilla Presley,
Elizabeth Taylor...
You don't know nothing!
- That's it!
- You gonna get hit!
- Oh, yeah? (HICCUPS)
- Yeah!
(LAUGHS)
You think I'm gonna get (HICCUPS)
the hiccups?
(MOCK HICCUPS) You got 'em.
It's simple.
We catch us a unicorn.
Willie says they bring good luck.
We sure could use some.
You think we should take advice
from a guy named Crazy Willie?
We bought our toaster
from Crazy Dave's Appliances.
"The word 'unicorn' is Latin.
"An all clean, horn-hold, healing eli..."
Elixir. It's like a magic power.
- (COW MOOS)
- Right.
"But you gotta grip the horn real tight."
Uh-huh. And I heard
that their farts smell like cotton candy.
I don't see that,
but the unicorn reference
was in the Bible nine times!
And no mention of farting?
(COW MOOING)
- No.
- Huh. Weird.
This guy, Leonardo da Vinci,
not the Ninja Turtle,
said exactly how to capture one.
Ah!
"The unicorn for the luck
it bears fair maidens
"forgets its ferocity and wildness,
"and laying aside all fear
will go to its weeping damsel,
"will go to sleep in your lap
and thus the hunters can take it."
Drop it, Mia. It ain't happening.
You don't have to believe in unicorns,
but please,
could you try to believe in me?
If I go on this little
hunting expedition with you,
you have to help me
convince Dad to go back to Chicago.
Um...
Okay. Deal.
Even if we don't bag us a unicorn?
Not a problem.
(HAWKING, SPITTING)
Um, I'll pass.
MIA: Greek mythology, European folklore,
da Vinci, this poet William Rose Bennet.
EMMA: Bent.
MIA: All of them used the same bait
to catch a unicorn.
A pure and innocent damsel
in a white dress
sits weeping under a tree,
flowers woven in her hair.
You want me to cry beneath a tree?
You? (SCOFFS)
Implying I'm not pure and innocent?
The spin the bottle game
at Martha Thompson's birthday party
pretty much closed that chapter.
EMMA: Hey! Can we go now?
Uh!
No.
I think I got an idea.
Can you come over here?
I want you to pull my hair.
(LAUGHS) What?
I'm not gonna pull your hair.
- Just do it.
- No.
- Just do it!
- No.
Just do it!
Fine!
(YELLING) Ow.
Why'd you do that?
You told me to!
I didn't think it'd hurt so...
Well?
Am I crying?
Not even a tear.
It's no use.
I was sure it could work.
It's not fair.
Why don't good things ever happen for us?
Don't worry.
It'll be okay.
I miss Mommy so much.
Me, too.
You believe I saw it, right?
The unicorn?
I do. I really do.
Goodness, it's freezing out here.
Let's get home. Sound good?
Okay.
- (TWIG SNAPS)
- (LOUD SNORT)
What was that?
Huh?
I just thought I heard something.
(GASPING)
What the heck is that?
Quick! Hide! Go, please! Go!
No way!
Hi there.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, settle. Settle.
(NEIGHING)
EMMA: It's okay. It's okay.
Settle. Settle. Settle.
I think its foot is hurt.
Don't worry, we're friendly.
(CHUCKLES)
Wanna come home with us?
My very own unicorn!
I'm gonna name her
Princess Rainbow Sparkle.
It's a boy.
Yeah? How do you know?
By its, um, its horn.
Oh.
Then we'll name him...
Rocco.
Why Rocco?
Obviously 'cause he looks like a Rocco.
Obviously.
(EXHALES WEARILY)
Welcome to your new home, Rocco.
- Dad, wake up!
- What!
BOTH: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
What's going on? Is everything okay?
Follow us! Follow us! Come on!
Okay, okay, okay, I'm coming!
(SIGHS WEARILY)
- Hurry!
- (EXCLAIMS)
Okay, okay. I'm coming, I'm coming.
What're you wearing?
Did you get married?
Come see! Come on! Follow us, come on!
Shh. He's coming.
EMMA: Over here, Dad.
What's going on? The coyotes?
Guess what we got?
Help me out here. What am I looking at?
You don't see it?
Uh, the rope flapping in the wind?
You really don't see it?
See what?
BOTH: The unicorn!
We'll talk about this in the morning.
Huh.
Maybe only kids can see it.
Whoa.
Maybe it's time to re-think
the Easter bunny.
EMMA: Come on, eat it. It's good.
See? See?
Put some in your mouth to show him.
Put it in your mouth.
Up a little late, are we?
Uh-oh.
Looks like someone
doesn't wanna stay at my ranch.
You mean Emma, or...
The yearling.
Oh, he looks so much
like the one your mama played with.
And I notice he has a sprain.
How did that happen?
Our mother owned a unicorn?
Nobody owns a unicorn.
They do what they want, when they want.
(THUNDER CRASHING)
Your mother's colt friend
attracted some desperate desperadoes.
Hiya!
- (THUNDER CRASHING)
- Hiya!
Whoa!
(UNICORN NEIGHS)
ROSE: But your mama...
- (ARROW WHIZZING)
- (YELLS IN PAIN)
ROSE: She would always protect her friend.
No! No!
(GRUNTS)
Uh...
But please, can I keep him?
I promise, I'll feed him, brush him,
take him out on walks,
and even polish his horn every day.
Honey, I need you to understand.
This is a mighty, powerful creature.
It is very easy to take advantage.
There is a reason
that unicorns are not seen by humans.
Most folks are not prepared
to handle this kind of magic.
Willie says if you take off the horn
and drink its blood,
you'll live forever.
Not like I was going to.
And then misfortune will follow you
everywhere, cursed for eternity.
That doesn't sound like
a lot of fun, does it?
Right? Girls, I don't think you realize
how much power you're wielding here.
Without respect, it is dangerous.
So should we just take him back?
He can stay for a couple of days,
just until his leg heals.
You okay with that?
(KISSES) All right. Thank you.
Good night, Rocco.
- Sleep tight.
- (ROSE KISSES)
I'll race you.
Let's go. Ready? Go.
Oh, you're so slow! Come on!
(EMMAAND MIA LAUGHING)
So I only saw him
because I believe Mia saw it?
Yes. You put your faith in your family
and great things happen.
Did Mommy really have a unicorn, too?
Or were you just fooling?
No. Your mama and that unicorn
were like two nuts in a chipmunk's cheek.
- (MIA LAUGHING)
- The things he would do for her.
(SIGHS)
But your mama knew never to
take advantage of that friendship.
Not a problem.
I'm already working
on a ruby and diamond collar.
- Really classy, not tacky.
- (LAUGHS)
Okay.
Very nice. All right,
I want you to say your prayers
and go to sleep.
- (MIA CHUCKLES)
- ROSE: I'm not used to this.
- (LAUGHS)
- Sweet dreams, babies.
Good night, Grandma Rose.
Yeah, good night.
(ROCCO SNORTING)
(HUFFS)
(THUDS)
Bless Emma and Daddy and Grandma Rose
and Monroe and Paco the goat
and Sheryl the cow and all the chickens.
Harry, Joanne, Hunter, Sean, Stephanie,
- Big Ronnie, Little Ronnie...
- EMMA: Just go to sleep.
- ...Tony, Walter, Medium-sized Ronnie...
- (EMMA SIGHS)
EMMA: Will you just go to sleep?
(EMMA GRUNTS)
Most of all, thank you, Mommy,
for sending Rocco from heaven.
With his help, I'm sure it's gonna get
- a lot better for all of us.
- (EMMA GRUNTS)
(SNORTS)
MIA: I miss you. Love you.
Amen.
(EMMAAND MIA LAUGHING)
Girls, I am already having a hard time
adjusting to this new job,
but now I'm gonna be groggy
and sluggish all day.
- (LAUGHING CONTINUES)
- LOUIS: I can't... Hey.
Are you listening to me?
- Oh, yes, sir. Yes.
- Oh. Of course.
- Yes.
- Listen, this is important.
Oh, this is such a big change for me, too.
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
- LOUIS: Not just for you.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- LOUIS: Oh.
Do you think... You think that's funny?
- Oh, no, sir. No.
- Absolutely not.
- BOTH: No.
- LOUIS: Okay. We're done here.
Just... Just go do your chores
and then off to school, okay?
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
- EMMA: Yes sir.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Goodbye, let's go
Music up and windows down
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(COW MOOS)
- All right.
- (COW MOOS)
Come on, come on. You can do it.
The week is over
Good boy!
You're the air I need
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
In moments like these
Whoa! Hey!
Rocco, you can do it. Come on, Rocco.
MIA: Rocco, you can do it.
Heads.
Awesome!
That's a hundred times in a row.
This is incredible! It's amazing!
This luck must be coming from Rocco!
You think?
What do you wanna do next?
Let's try something really cool.
What do you have in mind?
MIA: (PANTING) Whoo!
I found the needle!
Now that's gotta be a world record.
(ROCCO SNORTS AND NEIGHS)
I'm thinking this might be a bad idea.
- You'll be a good boy today, Rocco?
- (ROCCO HUFFS)
- See? Not a problem.
- (BUS APPROACHING)
(SIGHS)
Come on.
Morning, everyone.
EMMA: Do you believe this?
It's like nobody sees him.
I guess they're just
too distracted by their phones
or just too cynical to be believers.
I weep for this generation.
Let's go, Rocco.
Let's go.
EMMA: Rocco, what are you doing?
You're gonna get us in trouble.
Hey. Who's Rocco?
Your boyfriend or something?
No, it's just my sister's unicorn.
- Touch.
- Ah, great.
Now he thinks I'm lovesick
for my old Italian boyfriend.
Nobody will ever believe
you actually had a boyfriend.
(ROCCO WHINNYING)
Why'd he close the window?
It's a bit nippy.
(KIDS SCREAM AND GROAN)
(MIA LAUGHS)
(KIDS CLAMORING)
BOY: Ew!
GIRL: It's everywhere!
One, two, three, four, five, six.
The answer is six.
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
Bravo, Crystal. The spatial relationship
is very disturbing.
Magnificent.
(ROCCO HUFFS)
TEACHER: The word is "stroopwafel."
Stroopwafel.
S-T-R-O-O-P-
W-A-F-E-L.
Stroopwafel.
TEACHER: That is correct.
Pizza, please.
LUNCH LADY: Can't get 'em to detach.
Just take all three slices.
Not a problem!
Thanks, Rocco.
Lunchroom toll.
- Three slices of...
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
Sucks to be you.
- (MAN LAUGHING)
- Says he needs just enough for a bus ride
to his family in Vermont.
Naturally, I gave him what I had.
That's mighty neighborly.
Well, when am I gonna get another chance
to meet a real live Big Foot, huh?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I suppose I could build a hunting blind
in the alley behind Dixie...
(ROCCO HUFFS)
Holy!
Did you guys see that?
The chupacabra?
Or that leprechaun on that motorcycle?
(LAUGHS) No, no, it's...
My mistake.
Weren't nothing there.
It's my dang cataracts.
MIA: I don't get it.
What's the matter with him?
Didn't you have fun today?
(SIGHS)
What's the matter, bud?
I got it. You want a carrot.
Carrot.
Come on, carrot. Carrot.
You know, he's just had a long day.
Probably really tired.
(ROCCO HUFFS)
Good night, Rocco. (SIGHS)
Tomorrow will be better.
- (ROCCO HUFFS)
- MIA: You just gotta believe it.
Good night, Rocco.
(ROCCO HUFFS)
(DOGS BARKING AND HOWLING)
(INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY)
(EMMA GRUNTS)
Emma, did you hear something?
Go to sleep.
- I think someone's out there.
- (EMMA GROANS)
(INDISTINCT MOANING)
What is that?
(MOANING GETS LOUDER)
(WHISPERING) Do you hear that moaning?
Yeah, I do.
(MOANING CONTINUES)
(DOGS BARKING)
(INDISTINCT GRUNTING)
- Whoa!
- (SCREAMS)
(EMMA SCREAMS)
- So gross.
- (GROANS)
This is, uh...
Um...
- Bud.
- (LAUGHS)
- (CHUCKLES)
- Bud.
This is my boyfriend.
- BUD: Howdy.
- Hi.
I'm sorry y'all thought I was spying,
I didn't mean to scare you,
I was just waiting for y'all to go
- so I could come over and...
- ROSE: Suck face.
So, so, very, very gross.
- (SNORTING)
- ROSE: Monroe!
It's past your bed time.
BUD: All right,
well, I guess I better skedaddle.
- All right.
- Good night, ladies.
- It's dang late.
- Good night, Bud.
Come on, bed time.
See? I do have a boyfriend.
BUD: Okay.
All right.
Oh, well.
(DOOR UNLOCKING, OPENING)
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(WHINNIES)
You gotta be the most beautiful thing
these old cataract eyes ever seen.
(ROCCO WHINNYING)
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)
(RATTLING)
(ROCCO WHINNYING)
- (ROCCO CONTINUES WHINNYING)
- (WILLIE SCREAMS)
WILLIE: This is great! This is wonderful!
- (ROCCO WHINNIES)
- (WILLIE GROANS AND GRUNTS)
(WILLIE GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
- Hey.
No more back pain.
Hey.
No more arthritis.
(ROCCO HUFFING)
WILLIE: I'll be taking that horn.
(GASPING)
That ain't happening, mister!
Oh, you're crazy!
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING, GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS) Dang it!
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(GASPING)
You're out of your mind!
(GASPS)
Emma, I'm sure I heard something.
Just go back to sleep.
(SIGHS)
(ROCCO NEIGHING)
Go back to bed, honey.
- (THUDS)
- Ow!
Who poked me?
Rose?
(WILLIE GRUNTING)
(ROSE PANTING)
(WILLIE GRUNTS)
- (GASPS) Hey.
- ROSE: You!
Whoa! Now, Rose, calm down.
ROSE: I... (GROANS)
WILLIE: Ooh.
(ROSE GROANING)
(GASPING)
Your, uh...
Your ticker giving out, huh?
(GROANS)
LOUIS: Rose? You out here?
(ROSE GROANING)
Well, adis, Rose.
(ROSE GASPING)
(LAUGHING)
- (ROSE STRUGGLING)
- LOUIS: Rose?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO)
Emma, what's going on?
(EMMA GROANS)
I'm not sure.
What's going on?
(ROCCO WHINNIES)
Dad? Dad.
- BOTH: Grandma!
- Girls, girls!
- Grandma!
- Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, it's okay.
- MIA: What's going on?
- Everything's fine.
Don't worry. Come with me.
- Just come with me.
- EMMA: What happened?
LOUIS: Don't worry about it.
Everything's fine.
EMMA: What's wrong with her?
MIA: Is she gonna be okay?
LOUIS: She's going in the ambulance
- for a little bit. Don't worry.
- (ROCCO HUFFS)
(SOBBING) Dad, what happened to her?
LOUIS: She took a little spill
and she's gonna be in the hospital
for a short while.
Is she gonna be okay?
Of course she's gonna be okay.
Look, girls, when you get older
your body doesn't work so well
and you can't really
do all the things you used to do
when you were younger.
Well, your grandma, she's...
Well, she's very strong-willed.
It's just her heart...
But she has the best heart
in the whole world!
LOUIS: That she does.
She does, honey.
(COMMENTATOR SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER SPEAKER)
I'll tell you what, son.
You choose the biggest,
meanest hombre out here
and I'll clean his plough.
I am willing...
I am willing to bet
my whole Social Security check on it, huh?
How about that?
Whoa, wait.
Now, if I win,
I get eight seconds
with that varmint, huh?
Right?
(ALL CHEERING)
One, two, three!
- (BONE CRACKS)
- (GROANS, SCREAMS)
(ROOSTER CROWS)
But it's Saturday.
I know, baby,
but I gotta get caught up somehow.
I'm sorry. Look, I'll be home early
and we can go visit Grandma.
How's that sound?
I want to see her now.
I'm pretty sure I got a way to
fix her heart.
What's that?
How?
Our unicorn.
(LOUIS SIGHS)
Baby... (CLEARS THROAT)
I love your wild imagination, I really do.
You get it from your mom.
But there's some real serious
grown-up things happening right now,
so I need you to shut it down, okay?
No more unicorns, all right?
Be good today.
Are you crazy?
You said it. He has magical powers.
- We gotta bring him to Grandma.
- Just forget it, okay?
I promised Dad we'd stay out of trouble.
That hospital is like 100 miles away.
The impossible is always possible.
Emma, what if Gran...
What if she...
I won't sit around and wait.
Not again.
Not if I can do something
about it this time.
(SIGHS) Okay.
What's the plan, sis?
EMMA: This disguise makes no sense.
We don't know who's a believer.
If we come across anybody who can see him,
then they'll just think it's a fancy pony
going to a wedding
or a supermarket opening.
You're forgetting one thing.
A monocle?
The hat's not magical.
- MIA: Oh, yeah.
- (ROCCO HUFFS)
You know, I'm starting to re-think this
'cause Rocco's leg looks like it's healed.
Maybe we should just
bring him back to the forest.
No! I mean, not until
we get to the hospital.
You wanna help Granny, don't you, Rocco?
- (NEIGHS)
- See?
Seriously?
Hey, Priscilla.
Look who's back.
Okay, Kimmy, don't mess with us today.
We've had a family emergency
with our grandmother
and are trying to go to the hospital.
Completely understand.
Just pay the town entrance fee
and you can both be on your way.
This is extortion.
All we have left
is Emma's babysitting money
and $16.11 from my piggy...
Stop helping her!
(GRUNTING)
Let's make this quick.
Priscilla's getting her nails done at 4:00
and it's been a while...
(GRUNTS)
What?
Who?
Who poked me?
I got you...
Listen. Whatever's going on...
(GRUNTS)
My shoulder.
I felt a sharp pain.
Perhaps you're having a stroke.
No, it... It's something else.
I know what it is.
It's the spirit of our deceased mother,
here to protect us
and guide us along our way.
Bull. I don't believe in spirits.
That ghost stuff ain't possible.
The impossible is always possible.
Mom, jab this bully's left shin!
(GRUNTS) Hey! How did you do that?
Right butt cheek!
(WINCES)
Left shin!
Right knee! Smack her face!
Stomp her foot!
Please, make the poking stop!
She messes with you and I?
Ya get the horn!
(BELL JINGLES)
Here ya go. Put that on. There.
One, two, three, bullets!
Read 'em and weep.
Oh!
Sorry, amigos.
Well, I guess it's generic
Aspercreme for me this week.
Come on, Deek.
You know the 2-7 is the worst hand
you could ever have in poker.
That's the hammer. Sheesh.
Who's in for the next one?
Hey, guys.
BIG SLIM:
Hey, pretty girl. How're you doin'?
Where's Willie?
He's probably still tuckered out
from bingo last night.
He didn't even show up
for bingo last night.
Huh. Well, what do
you want with him, little lady?
I wanted to show him my new unicorn.
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
- MEN: Oh.
Oh, she's a beauty.
Uh-huh.
It's a he.
See the horn?
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, uh-huh.
I see it.
Look, I feel for you
and your granny, all right?
But there's no way
I'm stealing my pa's truck.
Especially for some dumb,
make-believe critter.
He's not... Okay, how about this?
We make a bet, all right?
We flip a quarter and if it lands on heads
10, no, 20 times in a row,
then you help us.
If I lose, you get $57
and a gift card
to Komodo Dragon Dress Emporium.
Sure.
Easy money.
It was a trick coin, right?
It was your quarter.
All right, you know what? Let's go again.
This time with a nickel, okay?
- Mmm-hmm.
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
What?
Triple or nothing.
Argh!
I don't know if it's safe back here.
Rocco's magic will protect me.
PATRICK: That's crazy.
Well, we're staying off the highway
so nobody sees us,
so it's gonna be pretty bumpy.
Fine with me.
See you later, Rocco.
PATRICK: Oh, come on!
WILLIE: 89, 90, 91, 92, 93,
94, 95, 96, 97...
(SIGHS AND CHUCKLES)
COWGIRL: Someone took their vitamins.
Oh, no, honey. This is...
This is from 100% pure unicorn.
Wow. I think
I tried some of that at Coachella.
Whoo!
How's about you and I
paint the town red tonight?
A little dinner, a little dancin',
think you can keep up with me?
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Oh, dude.
You got a lot of energy, but
you're hella old.
I was hella younger yesterday.
William, your days are numbered.
Who says it has to stay this way, huh?
(LAUGHS)
EMMA: When I said we should lay low,
I did not mean literally.
Look, I'm doing the best
I can here, all right?
I can't even reach the gas.
Can you even see the road?
Yeah, maybe a little bit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(FARTING)
Oh!
Does not smell like cotton candy to me!
EMMA: Slow down!
Hit the brake! Hit the brake!
Let's go, come on!
Uh-oh.
Oh, no!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Sure a lot of potholes on this road!
Slow down!
This is a lot harder
than go-karts!
You think?
The shocks on this thing are terrible!
What is that smell?
- It wasn't me.
- (COW MOOS)
Cows! Move!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(ROCCO FARTING)
MIA: Stop farting!
Okay, that's it! No more carrots for you!
Try the emergency brake!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
What are you doing?
Whoa, that thing has so many uses.
It's like a Swiss army horn.
Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!
We're crashing for a tree!
Mayday! Mayday!
You're making a heart.
That is so adorable.
Are we slowing down?
(NEIGHS)
What?
Huh. What's going on?
BOTH: What just happened?
This is impossible.
There is no way
we should have survived that.
Didn't you hear?
The impossible is apparently possible.
I don't like it.
You okay back there?
Uh-huh. Could use an air freshener.
Come on, Rocco. Out.
(CLANGS)
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
No. It can't...
You gotta be kidding.
(MIA GIGGLING)
Clive's Auto Repair.
About 40 miles from here.
Should I call?
I guess.
(SIGHS) It's gonna take him
at least a couple hours
to find his way out here
and tow us back into the shop.
Gosh, I'm in so much trouble.
(SIGHS)
Worrying is like a rocking horse.
It don't get you nowhere.
And we'll be fine
as long as he's by our side.
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(EMMA CHUCKLES)
Girl's got a little country in her.
You think?
Yeah.
I like how you take everything in stride.
You know what you want
and you don't let nothing get in your way.
- (HORN HONKING)
- (BOTH GASP)
How? We haven't even called him yet.
MIA: I was hoping that would happen!
(GRUNTS)
Oh, no, no, no! This ain't good!
(SNIFFING)
Still fresh. Still fresh.
Now, where did those
little brats take him?
Ooh, cotton candy.
No, think, Will! Think!
Okay, it's the weekend, it's the week...
Kids ain't in school and, uh,
um, I gotta find 'em.
I gotta find 'em.
(GASPS) And fast!
Oh, get out!
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
Four tires, new brake pads,
and fixing that trailer floor
with three hours of labor and parts
we're looking at $367.
Well then, pony up, everybody.
Even with Kimmy's charitable donation
we're still short $100.
I got an idea.
(COIN CLINKS)
Could you do that 99 more times?
Rocco, may I?
(NEIGHS)
One hundred buckaroos!
All right, let's go pay the man.
And we'll go to the hospital
and get Gran across the street.
All right, come on, Mia.
MIA: Soda, please.
Thanks! (GIGGLES)
Come on, Rocco.
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(ALL SNORING)
(PANTING) Where are they?
- (MEN GASP)
- What? Where?
Where's them Dindal girls?
Dang, Willie, what's got you riled?
You got a scorpion in your britches?
They caught themselves
one real live honest to goodness unicorn.
You better get yourself a new cow...
'Cause we're tired of this old bull!
Hey, stop that!
How'd he do that?
(SCREAMING)
BOTH: Dang!
You all can have this power, too.
Heck, better.
How'd you like to live forever?
BOTH: Forever?
All we have to do is
hunt down one little old unicorn.
But them two girls
took off with Patrick a few hours ago.
Yeah, and we don't know where.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- KIMMY: Well, I do.
(YELLS)
(SNARLS)
- (HEARING AID RINGS)
- (SCREAMS)
(SOBBING)
Are you sure they'll
let us have an animal in the hospital?
Sure. We'll say he's an
emotional support unicorn.
Okay, she's on the fourth floor.
We do not want any unwanted attention
for us or the unicorn.
Where is Rocco?
PATIENT: He walked right...
MIA: There he is.
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
MIA: Rocco! Rocco!
No, no! Okay, you take the stairs,
I'll wait to see
if he comes back down. Go, go, go!
(GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYING)
And you will see what He has done
If you look around this world, my friend
And you will see what He has done
You can hear
You can hear
You can hear
And you can hear what He has done...
SURGEON: Mr. Bachman,
this is a simple surgery.
We'll have that
gallbladder out lickety-split.
Uh, I see a unicorn?
SURGEON: The anesthesia has kicked in.
ASSISTING NURSE:
But I haven't turned on the gas.
You will see
You will see
And you will see
And you will see
Take a look, my friend
And see what He has done
He changed my way of thinking
And took me up where! Belong
Oh, he helped me change my way
He helped me change my way
(BABIES CRYING)
- (CRYING STOPS)
- (ROCCO NEIGHS)
(CRYING BEGINS AGAIN)
Rocco?
Rocco.
A-ha!
Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize.
(GROANS)
- (SCREAMS)
- Sorry!
(GRUNTS)
MIA: Which way?
Did you see the unicorn?
- He smiled at me!
- ORDERLY: Sure he did.
- That way.
- ORDERLY: Can I get two ccs of lithium?
Is that bigfoot?
You can see
You can see what He has done
You can see
You can see
You will see
You will see
You will see
You can hear
You can hear
You can hear
You can hear
Oh, you will see
You will see
Yes, you will
You will see
Yeah
(SNORTING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hi.
(NEIGHS)
Where did you come from?
You're so soft.
Whoa.
(ROCCO NEIGHS)
(GIRL GASPS)
BOY: Wow!
(PANTING) Any luck, guys?
No, he's still MIA.
That's me. I'm M-I-A.
What're you talking about?
I'm Mia.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
Over here. This way.
How do these kids see Rocco
when the kids at school didn't?
'Cause these kids
need to believe
the impossible is still possible.
MIA: Ready to see Grandma, Rocco?
Come on.
KIDS: Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
(MONITOR BEEPING)
(WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER PA)
Gran? You awake?
(ROSE GROANS)
It's your granddaughters, remember?
(CHUCKLES)
I see you brought Rocco with you.
MIA: Yeah, for you.
To make you better.
Is that so?
So all you gotta do is just
put your hands on his horn
and you'll be as good as new. Okay?
No more of your spells
or forgetting everything.
(MIA CHUCKLES)
You... Oopsie...
(ROSE STRUGGLING)
(EXHALES)
What's the matter? You need help?
No. Thank you.
She doesn't understand.
You don't understand. This will fix you.
I got my own magic.
So do you.
So I'm just gonna hang on
to my rusty old parts
until the warranty runs out.
You know what I'm saying?
But we have Rocco and he'll solve
all your problems like he did for me.
But I...
Don't you hate forgetting
everything all the time?
Baby, forgetting your past
makes it easier to let go.
No, you need it! You need it!
I've had a good, long life.
And I've laughed as much as I cried.
But all you gotta do is
just put your hand on his...
Girls, girls. Babies, babies, babies.
Look at our friend.
Look at how short
and colorless his horn is.
How did we not notice that?
What's the matter with him?
Well, I think
he's running out of good fortune,
and I certainly don't want him
to spend the last of it on me.
You best get him back to the woods
to his herd and his mama
before it's too late.
- His mother?
- ROSE: Yeah, baby.
Will you do that for me?
I wanna hear you say it.
Not a problem.
I'm so proud of you.
(MONITOR BEEPS RAPIDLY, STOPS)
You're coming with us?
Well, I might be on my way out,
but it's not today.
Come on, Rocco, let's go.
Yeah, that's great. Thank you so much.
All right. All right, thanks. Bye-bye.
What?
Mechanic said the truck's ready.
- Oh, good.
- Awesome.
Rose? Where y'all going?
The woods. And you're driving.
Okay, let's go.
Good boy.
ROSE: So, handsome.
What are your intentions
with my granddaughter?
- Uh, me?
- Yeah.
Uh...
Oh, look! The cows!
EMMA: Mia, he does not look good.
It's my fault.
I took advantage of you
and I took you away from your family.
And Emma and I know
what it's like to be without your mother.
It's the worst thing
that could ever possibly happen.
We'll get you back to your family, Rocco.
I promise.
Oh.
What's going on out there?
Excuse me, I'll be taking these keys.
Oh.
(BOTH GASP)
Ladies, this here is a holdup!
Leave him alone! He's weak!
He needs to get back to his mother!
- (LAUGHS)
- No!
(ROCCO NEIGHING)
ROSE: You fool!
Do you have any idea what
you're getting yourself into?
No, not exactly.
(MIA SHOUTING)
WILLIE: Come on!
- (GRUNTING)
- (ROCCO NEIGHING)
MIA: Don't hurt him! Leave him alone!
WILLIE: Come on!
Willie, stop it!
You're a taker and a bully
and you've got a dark heart!
At least mine's gonna last forever.
ROSE: You're gonna be one of
the most cursed men
that ever walked the Earth!
The old bag's right.
Boys, before we take his horn
we need to get ourselves
a good-sized nest egg.
(LAUGHTER)
WILLIE: Hiya!
BUD: This is like trying to
find a needle in a haystack.
EMMA: That's actually
easier than you think.
This, however, is pointless.
We're not giving up!
(EMMA SIGHS)
Hey, Emma.
I'm sorry I was
such a jerk when I first met you.
You weren't that big a jerk.
(CHUCKLES)
Is it okay if...
(SNIFFS)
Grody.
I'd really like to kiss...
- (HORN HONKING)
- (BOTH GASP)
Dad's here!
Oh, finally.
MIA: Oh, my God.
Yes, I will get the jackets.
You two are in deep trouble!
What are you thinking?
And with your grandmother
in the hospital, no less.
I don't mind.
Rose. What're you doing here?
She's helping us save Rocco.
What... Which one's Rocco?
The old cowboy or the new one?
Oh, those two handsome gentlemen
are Emma's and my beaus.
Beaus like boyfriends?
(SIGH) I know.
So gross, right?
We'll talk about that later.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Okay, so, um, who is Rocco?
BOTH: Our unicorn.
Okay, okay. Um... Get in the car.
Now!
MIA: Oh, oh, God.
EMMA: Okay. (GRUNTS) Yeah.
MIA: You brought Monroe?
Of course I did!
I'm not gonna leave him at home alone,
he's only two.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
(BELL RINGING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(RATTLING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(EAGLE SCREECHES)
Say what you want
I'm in the groove
Yeah, I got that flavor
You can taste it too
Come on, let's be honest
You know I got the moves
Everybody's watching me
do what I do
- (BELL RINGING)
- (PEOPLE CHEERING)
Let's break the bank, boys.
I'm so cold, call me Mr. Cool
(YELLS)
If you wanna get like me
then you gotta move
(BELL RINGING)
Ain't no stopping
when you feel the beat
(YELLS)
"Cause once you get
that rhythm going
You're bound to move ya feet
(BELL RINGING)
(CHEERING LOUDLY)
(NICKERS)
(BELL RINGING)
(GRUNTING)
- Dad?
- The kids didn't have anything to...
Not interested!
Well, Emma.
Looks like you're gonna
get your wish after all.
How do you mean?
I called Uncle Jeff in Chicago today.
Him and Aunt Erica agreed
to help keep you in line.
Lord knows I can't.
I don't wanna go back.
I like it here. It's my home now.
LOUIS: What? I...
You know what? At this point,
I don't care what you want.
What I want, Dad, is to go after Rocco!
We think we know where they took him!
- What are you talking about?
- Willie...
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Everybody! Shh!
Not another peep.
(MONROE CONTINUES GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
You asked me to show
a little faith in family.
How about you, Dad?
Trust in family.
There's nothing you can't overcome.
You don't go swimming
in deep water with your britches on.
- That's true, actually.
- Enough!
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- That's true.
Everyone shut it!
Shut it.
I live with a bunch of crazy people.
Dad, you don't have to
believe in unicorns.
Just believe in us.
(LOUIS SIGHS)
Oh, I can't believe I'm gonna do this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where do you think you're going?
Kids aren't allowed in there.
MIA: But Rocco.
ROSE: We'll get him. Sit tight.
Oh, uh, by the way,
Monroe's diaper needs changing.
That's true.
(GRUNTING)
WILLIE: Two bullets.
- (LAUGHING)
- Ooh.
Hey, Willie, uh, me and the boys,
we were thinking that
maybe we go, uh, dancing,
and maybe, uh, you know, kind of
get the chew on, 'cause we're hungry.
Yeah, I haven't had
corn on the cob in 20 years.
We're not leaving
till we clean this place out.
Then, the ritual sacrifice.
Uh, pardon me, gentlemen.
Don't mean to interrupt.
Um, may I have a quick word?
We ain't been cheatin'.
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.
I... Is one of you Crazy Willie?
Just plain Will is fine, thank you.
What you want, stranger?
Ah, well, hi, Will.
Um... (CHUCKLES)
This is a little embarrassing, but, um,
I'm Mia Dindal's father and...
That sweet little cash cow
ain't goin' nowhere.
Whoa. No, no, no, no.
Wait, is it a calf or a colt?
It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
Look, sir,
there is no reason to get violent here.
Don't make me tell you twice.
Okay.
I'll just...
Now, where were we?
Am I the big blind?
Hi, sorry, me again.
Uh, how about you just hand me those reins
and I walk right out of here.
You got rocks for brains, son?
I...
- You had your fun.
- Let him go!
- All of you, get!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, hey, miss,
I'll have a Sea Breeze please.
A twist of lime.
- What're you...
- I'm thirsty.
There ain't no way
I'm ever gonna leave with that...
Two seven off suit.
You've been dealt a hammer.
That's the worst hand a man can get.
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
- Yes!
- WILLIE: Oh, no, you don't.
- Go, go!
- Where do you think you're going?
- (NEIGHS)
- WOMAN: Oh!
(GROANS)
(LAUGHS)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Take some of my magic, Rocco.
(MAGICAL TINKLING)
(EXCLAIMS)
You got nowhere to go, little lady!
(SNORTS)
(PANTING)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(NEIGHING)
Yeah!
Don't let her get away!
That... That's a unicorn.
That's a unicorn.
When we tell my dad about this,
can we leave out...
I mean, he'll probably be cool
with me doing something stupid
for a pretty girl, but...
Stealing his truck for a unicorn?
You think I'm pretty?
You like asking obvious questions.
(NEIGHING)
Mia! Where is she going?
(MIA URGES ROCCO)
I cannot catch a break.
Go, Rocco, go!
She's heading for the hills.
Willie. Willie. Willie, just hold your
roll here for a second, Willie, will ya?
The pretty little girl,
you might hurt her.
No mights about it.
Dang, you are crazy.
Willie, we didn't sign up for that.
You're just gonna have to
deal us out, Willie.
- Deal us out.
- Suit yourselves.
- (URGES HORSE)
- (NEIGHS)
(NEIGHING)
- ROSE: Willie!
- Everyone in the car.
PATRICK: Come on, let's go!
EMMA: You get in the back.
- Okay.
- Buckle up.
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- (COW MOOS)
You have got to be kidding me!
(COW MOOS)
ALL: Moo-ve!
Come on, Rocco.
You ain't gonna get away this time, missy!
Come on, boy.
I'm putting all my faith and trust in you.
That's it, boy! That's it!
(ROCCO WHINNIES)
EMMA: Dad, she's going around that corner!
ROSE: Don't lose 'em!
- Step on it!
- Go!
- I am trying!
- EMMAAND ROSE: Go!
Missy, you are a pain in my neck,
you know that?
Come on!
Leave her alone! Stop it!
(URGING HORSE)
(HORSE NEIGHS)
- You better not hurt her!
- Stop it!
ROSE: Go, Mia!
(URGING HORSE)
- (ROCCO WHINNIES)
- Go away!
That idiot's gonna kill her!
Watch out, baby!
(WHINNIES)
(WHINNIES)
Oh, dang!
(SCREAMS)
- Mia!
- No!
- (SCREAMS)
- (NEIGHING)
(SCREAMING)
Mia! Mia!
Mia! Mia! Mia!
(SCREAMS) No!
No, no, no, this can't be happening!
No! Mia!
(SOBBING) No!
Mia!
ROSE: No...
She's gone.
LOUIS: No, no, no, no, no.
(MAGICAL TINKLING)
Holy molasses!
They really can fly.
Impossibly possible.
Yay!
LOUIS: That's incredible!
(LAUGHING)
EMMA: Come on. Come on.
Come on, guys, keep up.
I... I think it's... Yeah.
Over here. Come on.
(MAGICAL TINKLING)
(BOTH WHINNYING SOFTLY)
I have gotta get a picture of this.
Unbelievable.
You may not see us or hear us,
but know
our spirit will always be with you.
Goodbye, Rocco.
(GIGGLES)
Have you ever seen
anything more beautiful?
Hmm.
Sure have.
(ROSE LAUGHS)
- Oh, don't look.
- (GRUNTING)
So gross.
- Help!
- (CAWING)
Hey... Hey!
Little girl!
I was... I was just jesting.
- (BRANCH CRACKING)
- (WHIMPERING)
Whoo!
Whoo, whoo, whoo
whoo, whoo, whoo
I've seen endless wonders
that! Barely could believe
I've seen all the stars
in heaven staring back at me
I've seen a billion
minds collide
Then stream into my eyes
As time rolls on
I won't let life leave me behind
Oh, whoa, oh
Let's dream out loud
'Cause all we know
Has been turned upside down
Everything is possible now
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
I've seen things my father said
He never thought I'd see
I wonder what my kids will find
To roll their eyes at me
I can see the future coming
And, man, it's such a sight
But time will waste me
If I don't stop wasting time
Oh, whoa, oh
Let's dream out loud
'Cause all we know
Has been turned upside down
Everything is possible now
Oh, whoa, oh
Let's dream out loud
'Cause all we know
Has been turned upside down
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Sing it too now
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
I've seen all the prophets fall
From pillars made of sand
I've seen truth
dragged through the mud
Then never heard again
I've seen the
precious water flowing
Stolen by the blind
You've got yours now
You want all that's left of mine
Oh, whoa, oh
Let's dream out loud
'Cause all we know
Has been turned upside down
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now
Everything is possible now