Without Ward (2022) Movie Script

I just don't get it.
Why are you
always this difficult?
Why don't you guys ever shut up?
So everything will be fine.
Zaphoid B. Esquire will make the
final ratification toward contracts.
- He's already temporarily ratified.
- Yeah, two fucking years ago.
Dear. I don't
appreciate that language.
Yeah. Well, Mom, I don't
appreciate Dad's blind optimism.
- Oh, sorry, Mom, I didn't mean...
- I know.
I just don't want you to always see
the bad in everything. I promise,
- everything will be fine.
- Yeah, what good is a promise
you can't deliver on?
Garp, Dad. I can hear you
through the music Sniggle.
Can you guys
please keep it down?
Whatever, Augustine.
Helmholtz, come sit back down. I
may not be able to see anymore,
but I can still sense when
you're trying to console our son.
We all know
that it fucks with him.
I'm sorry, Mom.
We are all sorry.
Your esquires will arrive in five minutes.
Enter your beds
or be in breach of contract.
Thank you.
Your esquires will arrive in five,
four, three, two, one.
You know the drill, boss.
Feeding instructions
on page four.
- Subsection D of each contract.
- Yes.
Malfunction again.
This is a new one. No battery.
So it should not
malfunction again.
No grooming
or extras for me today?
You get your purchase next month.
- What are you doing?
- Just speeding things up a bit, helping.
- That is not part of your contractual obligation.
- Yeah. Chill out!
- I'm just helping.
- Your contract explicitly
obligates a caregiving
esquire to nourish you.
I order you to cease and desist.
- Cease and desist!
- Yeah...
- Cease and desist now! Now! Go on!
- Oh, shit. I desist.
- Desist!
- I desist. I'm desisting. I desist.
Very well.
Do not attempt to breach your contract
after I warned you, ever again,
I will not be so lenient.
You know the penalty for breach,
any breach, is death.
Are they going to ratify
our contract sooner?
Or is your stupid ass
U. of U.E. going to keep it
so I get killed
for leaving my house?
The Union of United Esquires
protects me and you,
so watch it.
Yeah, how exactly
do you protect me?
We make sure everyone's
contract is fulfilled
so the world is a safe
and stable place for us all.
My contract says
I can't leave my house.
- You signed it.
- Yeah, but I was never supposed to wake up.
And even if I did, I didn't
agree to be under house arrest.
You gave your esquire
power of attorney?
Yeah, to feed me and to give me the
drug, not to make me a slave.
- Things change.
- Wait, half the world
is under house arrest,
and your responses is
- "Things change"?
- It's not house arrest!
You all paid your esquires.
Gave them power of attorney
so you can take
your little miracle drug,
go to sleep, live out
your designated fantasies
in the haze while hardworking
men and women like Dries and
myself watched over the world.
You are lucky we ratified the contracts
to let you move around your house.
It's not the esquires whom reliable for
the world in current unforeseen occurrences
while you were in your...
- What's so goddamn funny?
- Nothing. It's just...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I desist. I desist.
- I desis...
- Shut up, Garp!
We are so sorry.
Look, we've had a long week.
We appreciate all you do.
Don't we?
Move to him, I'll take her.
- How are you today?
- Fine.
Hard shit.
Did my application for ratification
to update my plan get denied?
- No.
- Well, when do I get on the new plan?
It was not accepted either.
The processes are backlogged.
I've been asking for like
two years since I woke up.
Would you like to file another?
Does anyone have any amendments,
or any other legal matters?
I'd like to request
a new lawyer.
And I'd like the healthiest
eating plan you have,
the same one my dad's on.
Very well.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that's right. Walk around.
Oh, yeah, baby.
That's right, put that hair up.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, come on, baby.
Come on. Here. Don't stop now.
Oh, yeah. Don't stop.
Oh, come on, baby.
Yeah. Keep doing it.
Oh, come on. Don't let me down.
Come on.
Don't let me down, baby.
Come on. Oh, no, no, no, no, don't... don't...
don't... don't... don't... don't close the blinds.
No, no, no, no, don't close it.
Don't close it. Don't... fuck!
All right.
Ooh, imaginary tits.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck! Garp!
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Learn to knock, faggot!
- What did you call me?
- I meant faggot like it was the word "asshole."
Not like it was
because you're gay.
I keep forgetting you're gay.
I keep forgetting it matters.
It doesn't, man.
It's just that...
- I mean, you weren't gay when we went into the haze.
- I was six.
I wasn't sure.
I didn't know it mattered, but it
does matter. At least out here anyway.
In my dream world, or the haze,
or whatever you want to call it.
I never even came out of the closet...
being gay or straight didn't exist.
You just hooked
up with whomever.
What if you wanted
to have a kid?
I had one.
You had a kid?
Were you jerking off to Scout,
the little deaf girl
from across the way?
- She's not that little anymore.
- Neither are you.
Don't go changing the subject.
You never told me
you had a kid in the haze.
I've never really told any of you much
about what the haze was like for me.
Yeah, well, none of us really
ever talked much about it.
It's just weird. You know,
- we're not used to you being...
- A faggot.
No, gay.
It's been fucking
strange for this family.
It's been fucking strange
for the whole world.
I'll never forget Mom telling me that some
grown up made a drug that would let us go
into the haze and we would live
happier lives.
I would have anything
I could imagine, literally.
It sounded like that's what
I was supposed to do,
but I didn't get a choice.
The world had no choice.
They did, but they didn't.
You were probably too young to
remember, but we had to take the drug.
Anyone who was in power went into the
haze, I mean, look around.
The haze was better.
I do miss it.
I guess I never told you
about my kid because...
I miss my son.
I mean, I know he wasn't real,
but he was real.
Stop being such a faggot.
- You should get that looked at.
- Yeah, by who, slut?
- Someone who gives a shit.
- You know, ever since in my haze,
you and I still busted each
other's balls all the time.
- I don't have any balls, you ass.
- I'm the ass?
You're the one who basically dreamt
reality, you're so full of yourself.
The best thing you can come up with was you in
the real world as if the haze never existed.
I did not say that I dreamed reality.
- It wasn't exactly like that.
- Let's get back to you wanking off to that little deaf girl
- out the window.
- Wanking? When did you become British?
When I sucked tons of English
cock in the haze.
- Out with it, chunky.
- Come on. You know I can't help that.
Shouldn't have been so proud
and paid for your own plan.
It's worth my pride.
Plus, we were never supposed to wake up.
And besides, watch the name calling.
- Fine, faggot.
- Touche.
You guys should have taken this super,
duper health plan that Dad took.
No way, that would have sucked.
I'd still look like I was six.
Is it weird that Dad and I
basically look the same age?
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I
want to hear more about you wanking it
- to the little Scout.
- Oh, fuck off!
So here's the dish.
I walk in...
Garp's in his undies, jerking it
with one hand, binoculars in the other.
He throws the binoculars at me.
- Ouch, are you okay by the way?
- Yes.
And somehow we still
have not discussed him
jacking off
to that little deaf girl.
God, I hate that.
Out with it.
Fine. I just want
to see her naked.
When I was in my haze,
I could do whatever I wanted.
I could go where I wanted,
I could eat what I wanted.
I could fuck when I wanted. If I wanted
to fuck eight girls, I fucked 16.
I was a king. I was a rock star.
- A glutton.
- Whatever. I'm proud of who I am and what I am.
I mean, in the haze I got to do whatever
I wanted. I mean, till two years ago
when Ward killed himself and that jackass
Zaphoid B. Esquire declared that nobody else
can legally make the drug and we've been out
of the haze and fucking on house arrest.
Ever since that fateful fucking bullshit
day when I had to awake to that fucker
Lord Voraz telling me what I can and
can't do. No, no, shh, fuck that.
Ever since I woke to a world
full of lawyers with fucking guns
that tell me what I can
and can't do.
All... All I wanted is to see
little Scout Finch, who is no
longer so little by the way.
All I've wanted is
to see that hot girl get naked.
I haven't... I haven't
wanted to be a rock star.
I haven't wanted to be a king.
I haven't
wanted to fuck 16 girls.
I just want to see her get naked or
partially naked or fucking something!
And every night I come into my room,
I grab my binoculars and I shit in the dark
like the shitty old man
I've become and I watch her,
and I think, please shitty
world, please shitty world,
just let her get naked before she closes
the blinds. Every night I think it,
please don't close the blinds,
and every night she closes them.
And every night I realized that the simplest
dream can't come true anymore and I want to die.
She closes the blinds and
my fat sickly ass wants to die.
Get naked.
- What?
- Get naked and get in front of the window.
If everyone in the world who wanted
to see naked people in the window
just stood naked in their windows,
then there will be plenty of naked people
in the windows. Get up,
get naked, be what you want.
All right.
I will.
Thank you.
That's all I'm saying.
Whoa! No, no, no...
- Ha-ha!
- Not now!
Hey. Hey, guys, come here.
She's opening her blinds.
I'll be damned.
What do you make of that?
- Today is officially two new A.D.
- That's right.
Time sure does fly. Two years ago
to this day in the year of our Ward,
Ward took his own life at the tender age
of 121 and left the hazers or druggies
without their medicine and turned the
world upside down as he always did.
- You gotta be fucking kidding me.
- I want to hear this.
He sure was a great
man and we all miss him dearly.
Ward was running for President and was the
most beloved Americans since the ancient
Bobby Kennedy when he shocked
the world by attempting suicide.
Goddamn TV Sniggle.
The world cried for Ward until six
months after that suicide attempt,
when he made
that fateful speech.
- Hello.
- Remember that, hun?
- No matter how much I've had in life...
- What?
No matter how much I achieve, I...
I've always felt alone,
I tried to kill myself because
nothing made me happy anymore.
I was going to be the President
of the United States of America,
the country I love, and still
nothing would bring me joy.
I asked myself,
what is the meaning of life?
I didn't ask it
in a large worldly way.
But in a simple way,
I asked for the definition.
I think scientists believe life is an
organism that uses oxygen or water.
I mean, years ago when they sent those
probes to space, that's how scientists
looked for life,
by looking for water.
But they never found life,
and I decided they probably never would.
I mean, if they look by looking for
water, that's not what life is.
I mean, if something walked up to
me and said, "Hi, Ward, how are you?"
How are you doing today?"
And it... it didn't
need oxygen or water,
I would still consider it alive.
Decided that the scientific
definition of life was wrong.
I decided that the meaning
of life was what I feel,
and if all I was going to feel
was horrible all the time,
why would I want to keep living?
So, I decided to commit suicide.
When I woke up in the hospital
and my doctor told me
everything was going to be okay,
I reached out to take his hand.
I realized he was a hologram
from a remote TV Sniggle.
This made me know that I was
not connected to anyone.
I realized that with technology and Sniggles,
we have all withered into our own space.
I was actually considering suicide
again when when the doctor told me
about a successful suicide that
had taken place the day before.
It... it was a suicide of
a childhood friend of mine.
I thought if someone that grew up
where I grew up and how I grew up
could kill himself and... and we
couldn't understand it or stop it...
then how could we understand
people in different places?
How could we understand things
larger than us or smaller than us?
Or more importantly, how could
we understand something like God
or an interconnected energy
or... or anything like that.
I realized...
life isn't what I feel.
It's what... what we all feel.
I wasn't depressed.
I was disconnected.
I want so badly to be connected, to have
meaningful relationships with others.
But today everyone is so caught
up in the world that exists
that I find it
no longer possible.
So, I have invented the drug.
And we all know
what happened from there.
The richest of the rich and the most
powerful people were on it until...
Until all the assholes who ruled the Earth,
like my father, gave away all their money
to lawyers so they could go on the drug until
those lawyers wanted to go on the drug too,
so they deputized other lawyers to take
care of them and us and so on and so on.
Until goddamn 25% of the Earth was
deputized lawyers, and 50% of the people
were on a drug, and 25% of everyone
else took care of everything else!
- God, shut up!
- Until the whole world was under one form of government
called contractualism,
and idiots ruled,
and ten percent of fuck was
fuck, and everything that sucked
just sucked and magic!
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
- Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
- Shut up, Garp!
Fuck off.
You know, if you just
wouldn't let Ward be alone,
this never would've happened. The drug
didn't work on him. If he just interacted,
we wouldn't be in this mess.
Dad will never admit it. But they're
never going to ratify the contracts,
- they'll just leave this house.
- Don't say that.
They won't even let me pay
to eat healthy
or to change my clothes.
You're the one that chose
the cheap health food plan.
Well, I didn't think I was gonna have to
wake up and be a chunky, disheveled mess.
I didn't know I was going to have
to be sick from gas and junk food.
It doesn't matter now.
Fred Kinnan Esquire's never gonna let
Zaphoid B. Esquire ratify our contracts.
We're never gonna be free. We're never
going to be allowed to go outside.
How ludicrous is that?
The Union of United Esquires, attorneys
with guns that control the entire world.
I mean, who could even
make that shit up?
One government that rules the world called
contractualism that forces everybody
to follow their contracts
or die is ludicrous.
Do you really think that
the Union of United Esquires
is why the legal controller
won't ratify our contracts?
Sols, I had to yell "I desist"
with a fucking gun in my face.
I don't even think desist
should be a word.
Don't take this the wrong way,
but I want to be alone.
We're in my room.
I, Zaphoid B. Esquire, solemnly swear
that we are still working to ratify
these contracts. And we will try to meet
our deadline of January 8th, two New A.D.
Next week.
And now... I will take
a few questions.
Ready for press member
number one.
Is Fred Kinnan Esquire against
ratifications altogether?
Oh, you would have to ask him
that, but I would think not.
Is there ever a chance that the
contracts will all be nullified
and people can go back to being
what they want without fear of death
and... and... and...
and imprisonment within their own home?
I'm sorry. I can't hear you,
but I think I know what you're asking...
will we ever go to...
I am so sick
of being in this house.
What's so funny?
Nothing. It's just... nothing.
Come on, out with it.
It's just, you're having a little
trouble with the makeup Sniggle.
- Goddamnit.
- Mom.
Sorry, it's just frustrating.
Let me help you.
An old lady at 35.
Not to dissuade your exuberance,
but you're 55, Mom.
Yeah, but I blinked when
I was 35 and awoke an old lady.
Must be strange for you.
For all of us, we lived in dreams
that have more realistic time.
I just blinked.
What was it like to be gas?
It wasn't gas exactly.
Just kind of didn't exist.
It was like I was floating.
And there was nothing...
and everything.
It was.
You okay in there?
You coming to bed?
Damn toothbrush Sniggle broke.
- Use mine.
- You know, in my dream,
we didn't even have to brush.
We were always just clean.
Everything was clean.
Everything was perfect.
I can sense you're there.
What's wrong?
Nothing, babe.
Just so sick of
everything always breaking.
Breaking... Breaking...
You mean me? I'm breaking.
No... Not you.
These damn Sniggles.
Our house.
Our futures.
I can feel it.
Age was always
so important to you.
You're not
attracted to me anymore.
Yes, I am.
Then take me.
- I'm just not...
- You're not attracted to me.
D... Don't be ridiculous.
Of course I am.
That's bullshit.
While you were off living in a
world where we were young and hot,
I got old, old and blind.
Sure you got a little older.
But... you're still the most
beautiful girl in the world.
That's BS Helm, and you know it.
I may be blind
but I'm not blind.
When couples grow old together,
it works, the change is gradual.
You don't notice. But with us, you've
been gone for 20 years in some great dream
in the haze with perfection.
In your world, we never aged.
We were just hot. And you woke
up looking that way.
You're a good man
and you try to hide it.
But you were and are vain.
I think being in the moment
is amazing.
I'm not as vain as you think.
What was that?
Oh, nothing.
For me, the haze
was a spectacular few seconds.
Then I wake up a second later,
I'm old, my husband doesn't want
me, my kids are all depressed,
I'm locked in the house and my
husband can't even have sex with me.
If that were true.
Would I be this turned on?
Oh, Helmholtz,
I know that voice.
Oh, Helmholtz, oh!
Oh, Helmholtz!
- Oh!
- I want you so bad.
Okay, that's good.
Right there. Like that!
Oh, my...
I'm gonna come.
I'm coming.
Ah! I'm gonna come.
I'm gonna come. I'm coming!
So, that my friends,
is where it stands.
Though the Union of United
Esquires is not happy at this time,
we are confident
ratifications can be made.
Looks like final ratifications will
be put off for at least another month.
- Hey, I was watching that!
- Chill, Pops, it's paused, not off.
- That's big news, Garp.
- It's the same news it is every night, Dad.
- Listen...
- Calm down, you guys.
Every freaking night.
What do you need?
- Can I use your encyclopedia Sniggle?
- Yeah, it's in my room.
Can you rig it to help me
translate that sign
- tippy talk language?
- I think so.
All right, come on.
- I want a girl's voice.
- Okay.
No, that's the upper
etched line, as they say.
The brass.
Any new ratification requests?
They don't have any power.
They can't do shit.
In fact,
they're more like servants.
You have to clean us,
feed us, bring us new clothes.
If you think about it,
you're more like my bitch.
If that's true
than why am I standing here
and you are stuck in the house.
- "Than?"
- What?
"Then," you idiot. Not "Than."
And you can leave because either you or
your family were too poor or too stupid
- to go on the drug.
- What did you say to me?
Hard of hearing?
Cut it out, Garp.
You are displeasing your mother.
What? Contract says
I can air my grievances.
Do you have any more?
Very well... then.
Step away from the exit.
You are not within the safe distance
from the exit, step away from the exit.
You are now safe.
- What the fuck was that for?
- I am contracted to keep you in line with your contract.
Your contract says you are not
allowed to travel outside.
Yeah, but I didn't, didn't you hear
the voice? I just got close. Fuck off!
Get out. Hey!
If you had made it, you'd have
been in breach of contract.
And I'd have killed you.
- Then do it, bitch.
- No.
- Really?
- Get off him!
Please. Please, stop.
I'm scared.
I'm sorry, man.
I was just trying
to enforce the contract.
It's okay.
I just hate violence.
Sir, we have to go.
Formally requesting new esquires
and a better, healthier eating plan.
Fucking assholes!
- Fuck yeah, Dad.
- I was talking about you too.
Well, thanks anyway, old timer.
Old timer?
You're the old timer.
I'm not old.
- I didn't get old. Remember?
- It really does not matter so much, Pops.
Old is old. Young is young.
Thanks for taking one for the team, Sols.
Who says I was faking it.
- Everybody, bitch.
- Language.
- Take a pill, Mom.
- Absolutely not.
Never again.
It's nice to have us
all together like this.
It reminds me of
the old family dinners.
Don't bring up dinner.
I miss eating so much.
How much does it suck
that I'm fat
and I don't even
get to taste food.
- Let's have dinner.
- There's no food, ass.
- Language.
- That doesn't mean we can't have dinner.
I'll go set the table.
- We can do this every night.
- Mm-hmm.
That we can agree on.
In my dad's haze,
everyone was perfect.
No one aged, no one got sick,
no one gaining weight.
I mean, everyone
was just perfect.
He and I basically look the same age
now, which is really weird.
My sister Solsbury basically
dreamt that she was herself
as if she had never taken
the drug.
I mean, she would have been a huge success
in the real world, in business or whatever.
So I guess
it kind of makes sense.
But I mean, she basically
dreamt the drug away.
It's amazing
how even the people that did not
want the drug
ended up hazers anyway.
They were just losing
their ability
to succeed
because too many other
powerful people checked out.
I know.
What about the rest of you
and the rest of your family?
Well, my little brother...
how do I put it?
I guess he was in a world of acceptance.
I mean, he's gay, but he was six
when he went into the haze
so he didn't
really know that then.
So, in his haze, everyone was
just free to be what they wanted.
My mom... my mom's haze
is crazy.
She, like,
blinked and it was over.
Like, she describes it as if
she was just, like, gas or air.
And her haze lasted, like,
only a couple of seconds
and then it was over.
And when she woke up...
when she woke up she was
blind, here in the real world.
She went blind in her dream.
That's horrible. I'm sorry.
Oh, no, she's... she's great.
She's okay.
I mean, I hope she's okay.
I think she is.
And me. Well,
I pretty much did everything
that anyone says they would do
if they could do anything.
I was a total selfish pig.
You're an honest person, Garp.
I am just happy to have you to talk with.
I feel like
we really communicate.
It's really nice.
I know, right? I mean,
we've only been up for a couple of years,
which is a long time
if you think about it.
But we were in our hazes for so long
that I think that we're really only
used to communicating
with ourselves.
You know, I feel like
I speak so simply.
I feel like...
I only communicated with myself
for so long
that I forgot how to speak
universally, intellectually
or to each other...
if that makes
any sense at all.
My description
is overly descriptive.
I don't know. See,
I'm so bad at communicating,
I can't even communicate
how bad I am at communicating,
That's so fish.
"That's so fish"?
Not "That's so fish."
That's so true.
I wish you knew tippy talk language
so we wouldn't need that damn thing.
Hey. Just because I am a
Sniggle, does not mean I do not feel.
See, that is exactly why
we don't need that damn thing.
Learn tippy talk.
Uh, if I learn it,
will you get naked?
Well, will you? Is that a "yes"?
Yeah. If you learn fluent tippy talk
language, I will let you see me naked.
You happy?
Hell yeah!
You're not going to do it.
Good morning.
I haven't felt this connected to anyone,
to the world, to anything in so long.
I haven't felt this connected
ever inside the haze or out.
Let's get married.
Yeah. You...
So, that's Zaphoid.
- And that's...
- That's Fred Kinnan.
- Ratified.
- The truth is... hold on!
Hold on! Hold on! The truth is...
Great job on the puppets
and the set.
The only reason these contracts have
not been ratified yet is because...
The Zaphoid puppet is hot.
What's your attraction
to esquires all about anyway?
What are you talking about?
I was making a joke about a puppet.
- Uh, I see you looking at Dries Gloton Esquire.
- Please.
You can tell me.
I'm your sister.
- Talk to the hand. Don't touch it.
- God, that's the gayest thing
- you've ever said.
- Fuck you, sis. You're acting like Garp.
Lately, I'm thinking
that's not a bad way to be.
Fine what?
In the spirit of
our brutally honest brother...
- I think Dries is cute, okay?
- I knew it.
I wish I felt the same way about that
asshole who was grabbing my tits.
You play it well, sis.
You play it well.
So you really want
to fuck that puppet?
I would like to ask you
permission to marry your daughter?
The only thing in this world
that keeps me going is her.
I swear I will do anything
necessary to keep her happy.
Is this what you want?
I've been thinking a lot about
before we went into the haze,
how you used to say that life was better
when you have that certain someone.
Well, I found my someone.
I'm getting married.
To who? How?
You remember
Scout from next door?
The little deaf girl?
She's not little anymore.
- No fucking way. You actually...
- Language.
He got naked.
- What?
- He got naked.
Well, this is
kind of embarrassing.
But yeah, I got naked and I'm
getting married because of it.
And it changed my whole
miserable, locked up life, so...
Hold on. Wait a minute.
Life is miserable?
Is it, Garp?
It is, Dad.
It's pretty miserable.
I think all of our lives are.
Come here, Son.
All right. Ooh. Okay.
Honey, back to the
getting married.
Okay, well, when we woke up, I saw that
I could see into Scout's bedroom window
from my bedroom window. So I've been
spending a lot of time trying to see her
get naked.
- Garp...
- Well, I'm sorry, but it's true.
And one night Augustine and Solsbury
kind of walked in on me, so...
Wait, your brother and sister
caught you rolling the dice?
- That's not funny.
- Rolling the dice.
Dad, that's great.
No, Mom, Mom, Mom,
Solsbury told me I should just
get naked and stand in the window.
She told me that if everybody in the
world who wanted to see naked people
in the window would just stand naked
in the window, then there'd be plenty
of naked people in the window.
So I got naked and she saw me and...
Did she get naked too?
- What?
- No. No, well, not right away anyway but she laughed.
And since then for the last six
months we've been communicating.
I even learned
tippy talk language for her.
But how can you get married?
You can't even touch.
You don't have
to touch to connect.
You just have to put out what you want
and hope to get it back in return.
The U. of U.E. wants people
to leave their houses.
Zaphoid knows that.
Well, we do need
to get this done.
Are you insinuating
that things are in any way
any different,
Mr. legal controller?
Well, no, I just think
you and I...
You are the controller
of the world.
You and only you can make
this happen, not the U. of U.E.
We are merely a union
of hardworking attorneys.
Please, sir. I am not so much a controller
as I am a single hardworking public servant.
Well, if you keep up that attitude, there's
no way we'll get these ratifications done.
So, it will be at least another
month before ratifications are made.
Reportedly, the druggies
are growing pretty restless.
It's been more than two and a half years since
they left the haze and they still haven't
- left their houses.
- That's right. Sympathizers want them
to go outside and join society.
But the U. of U.E.
insists that if they do, they want to
make sure they are well taken care of.
And no good solution for what
can be done has been found yet.
Although we are assured
that a solution will be found.
And let's not forget that some
of the public feels as though
because they were in the haze for so
long doing whatever they wanted to do,
that it might be okay for them to
spend some time inside their own houses
doing nothing.
They didn't pass the
ratifications again this month?
It doesn't mean they won't.
Why are you always so pessimistic?
Things will work out, Garp.
Okay, Dad.
- "Okay"?
- Yeah.
Okay. I mean, I know you're just
putting out what you want in return
and if what you want from me
is positivity,
then, well, I might not agree with
it but I'll try and give it to you.
Is that what you think I want?
I can't believe
how grown up you are.
Or out.
This is not okay, Son.
I don't really think these
contracts are getting ratified.
I just want to give you hope.
Yeah, I know, Dad.
Well, tell me now.
You're finding hope on your own.
It's, uh, nice to see
such a good mood.
Did you fuck my sister
while she was sleeping?
What you...
what did you just say?
It's a fair question,
because you're always so perfect with her.
Shit. Did you fuck people
while they were asleep?
You did, didn't you?
- Did you?
- Lay down, Garp!
Please, please. Let...
Please. Don't pay him any mind.
He has a very strange
sense of humor.
It's just that... I hate to
see a lady such as yourself...
- have to hear such things.
- That's so sweet.
But I do think those things.
It's a happy day.
No grooming or extras today?
Time to go, boss.
- Let me finish rounds before you.
- Yeah. Thank you, Dries.
Anyone else need to put in
for any gratifications?
Garp needs a doctor.
I have requested it.
Does he have
any chance of seeing one?
I requested it.
No. Wow.
Anything else?
I am formally requesting new esquires
and the healthiest meal plan you have.
Garp, what was that you were
saying about him and your sister?
- He probably...
- Nothing, Garp.
What's with you fake flirting with
that asshole all the time anyway?
'Cause I'm saving
your big fat ass!
That's nice to hear.
Them fighting?
Them fighting like a family.
Them fighting honestly.
Is that a gun
or are you happy to see me?
Oh, I am happy to see you.
You don't even need our porno?
You knew?
Of course.
Plus, it doesn't seem
like it's a big problem anymore.
It's plenty big.
Oh. Okay.
Stat report.
Put the red setting on.
I don't fucking...
Double sparkle!
Goddamn it, I never win.
Victory is mine.
- Do you want to play again?
- No.
I wish this was real.
It sucks
we're the only ones alone.
We got each other, Brother.
You know, if you weren't
too young for me and my brother
and gay...
we'd have a good thing going.
Bottom's up.
Come on.
Come on. Just a little?
You think that was punishment?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to
see you naked, but getting to see you
bend over like that was almost worth having
to see you put on your clothes afterwards.
You know, we should totally
meet up after the wedding.
I would like
to propose a toast...
to our very own
T. S. Garp Gault,
whom is about to embark on
the journey that is marriage.
Is that the correct use of whom?
I'm trying to congratulate you.
Well, you should try it
with proper English, old man.
Oh, really?
Well, Garp...
I want to wish you
the best of luck.
I want to thank you for this.
- For a fake rehearsal dinner?
- Yes.
For a fake rehearsal dinner.
- For a fake rehearsal dinner.
- Fake rehearsal dinner!
- Yeah!
- Cheers, Mom.
I, T. S. Garp Gault, take you, Scout
Finch, to be my unlawfully wedded wife,
my constant friend, my faithful
companion and my love
from this day forward.
In the presence of the world,
I promise to be your faithful companion...
in sickness and in health,
in good times and in bad...
and in joy
as well as in sorrow.
I promise to love you
to honor and respect you
and to laugh with you
and to cry with you and to cherish
you for as long as we both shall live.
I'll tell you guys
what she tippy talks.
I, Scout Finch,
take you, T. S. Garp Gault,
to be my unlawfully wedded
husband, my constant friend,
my faithful partner and my love
from this day forward.
In the presence of the world,
I offer you my solemn vow
to be your faithful partner
in sickness and in health,
in good times and in bad,
in joy as well as in sorrow.
I promise to love you
to honor and to respect you,
to laugh with you and to cry with you
and to cherish you for as long
as we both shall live.
And we shall live.
And by the power
vested in me, by me,
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
You may kiss the bride!
Oh, God. Jesus, man.
Don't knock it
till you tried it.
- Hey.
- All right. I need your help.
- I'm gonna cut out my tracking device and go see my wife.
- Are you fucking crazy?
- We don't even know how those things work.
- Yeah. But we know where
they are. I was gonna wait for this
one to malfunction like the last one
but Voraz said the battery wouldn't die.
So I'm just gonna cut it out.
- What if you get caught?
- What if we have to stay in this house
- for the rest of our lives?
- I don't know, man.
I do. I need to go see my wife.
But you connected. We connected.
Yeah, you did. But I want more.
Life isn't about just sitting
around letting things be fine.
It's about going for more. And if
you lose then you know what it's like
with less and you can
appreciate more more.
More more.
Yeah. More more.
- Are you okay, man?
- No.
- Will you help me?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna cut this out.
I need you to sit here with
the tracker and stare into
Scout's room while I'm gone.
- What?
- This might be the only circumstance on Earth
where one might ask
their brother to watch them
have sex
and it be perfectly fine.
Now, I need you to signal me
if you hear the voice
or if you think anyone's coming.
What kind of coming?
- Sorry.
- I don't want Scout getting into any kind of trouble.
- You got me?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, man.
- That's fucking disgusting.
- What, the puke or the cut?
- Both.
Hand me that gauze!
Hand me that gauze!
All right.
- Love you, man. Good bye.
- Love you too.
Come back!
Garp, get inside!
Goddamnit, Garp!
- Your tracking device has been removed.
- Fuck!
Your tracking device
has been removed.
Your tracking device is not at a
temperature condusive to the human body.
Your tracking device
has been removed.
Your tracking device is not at a
temperature condusive to the human body.
It just started beeping.
It just started beeping.
What's happening, Garp?
What's happening?
He went to see Scout.
But I didn't make it!
- It's okay.
- No, but I didn't make...
It's okay. It's okay.
Tell him it's okay.
- It's okay.
- It's... it's okay.
Augustine, tell him it's okay!
- It's okay.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
T. S. Garp Gault.
Why was your tracker removed?
No reason suffices.
For breach of contract,
you are hereby
sentenced to death.
No reason suffices.
That about sums it up.
Oh, shit.
- Sorry.
- Shut up, Dries.
Any last words?
Surely that wasn't
a breach of contract.
Shut up, Sols.
Surely this has just been
a misunderstanding.
- Shut up, Solsbury.
- Garp, shut the hell up. If not for me, then for you know who.
Yeah, I don't know.
I can see how this...
could be an accident.
Let's go.
Nothing like this
better happen again.
Feel good?
- Okay. We're gonna do this. Yes.
- Yes.
Oh, come in here. Come in here.
No, no, no. Not like that.
No, no, let's just...
No, no, don't.
Definitely like that!
- Not like that. Don't do that.
- Yes.
- Oh, come on! Give me what I want!
- That's disgusting!
But, baby, that's what I like.
What did I do?
I want you so bad,
come back please!
- Let's go.
- What?
Now! Let's...
I'm formally requesting
new esquires
and a better,
healthier meal plan.
Did they leave?
- Fuck, Solsbury.
- You owe me so big.
I thought that you were go...
No, I love you,
but not that much.
- Eurgh.
- Go wash your hands first!
One look. Just look.
Get off!
I can't believe
we just got out of that.
That is so gross!
Are you okay, darling?
Yeah, Dad.
Where on God's Green Earth
did you shit?
He went so fast!
You had me so scared there,
old boy.
Get up, you jerk.
What's wrong?
- Garp?
- Garp?
Quit messing around.
Oh, fuck, Garp.
What is it?
Hey, Garp? Garp?
- Come on, get him up.
- Garp?
Oh, God. Oh, God.
- God, no!
- What is it? What is it?
Get up.
Would you quit it?
Wake up!
Wake up! Wake up!
- Come on!
- Wake up!
He doesn't have a pulse.
Do you know how to fix that?
I'm not too nervous.
I can't feel it either.
He doesn't have one.
Do you know how to fix?
I'm so sorry.
No! No! Oh, my God.
Oh, no!
Please! Help! Help me!
No! No, please!
When you are the
controller of the world,
you and you alone
can handle this.
- Make this happen.
- Please, sir.
There's no way we'll get these
ratifications taken care of.
Well, it looks like ratifications
will take at least another month.
How are we supposed
to watch the news, Dad?
There is no news.
What do you think
about this, Solsbury?
I love it.
Would you leave your brothers
goddamn body alone?
He just lost his son.
And so did you.
And we just lost our brother.
But the brother we got to know
wouldn't want me to mope.
He'd want me to take the lesson and
that it'd make me feel more and more.
I just can't wait
for the lawyers to get here.
- They'll probably get rid of his fucking body.
- Language.
Mom, we are so past that.
- And that body fucking smells.
- Wa...
Never mind.
Any ratification requests?
You are taking the body, right?
I'm sorry. That is
not in our contract.
That is not in our contract.
- Would you like to file...
- Get out.
Get the fuck out
of our house now!
One more thing...
I would like to put in for new esquires
into better, healthier food plan.
I can't look at
this fucking body anymore.
- If we take it outside, our trackers will go off.
- Then let them go off.
Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
I know I've been upset and angry,
but I can't stand losing you too.
Then don't, Dad, I can't move
his body by myself.
I'm going to help.
Thanks, Mom.
This is insane!
What are you talking about?
We're talking about going
outside with the big fellow.
Yeah, Dad.
I'm talking about going out.
- Don't you just want to go outside?
- The fresh air sounds grand.
You can't kill yourselves.
Dad, not doing what
we want to get what we want
to return is killing ourselves.
I want people to go outside.
So I'm going outside.
We're just going outside?
Yeah, Dad,
we're just going outside.
Oh, God.
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- Fucking love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
We love you.
Step away from the exit.
You are not within
a safe distance from the exit.
Step away from the exit.
You are leaving
the legal parameters.
The legal parameters have been left.
Calmly wait for your esquires.
You will die. The legal
parameters have been left.
Calmly wait for your esquires.
You will die.
The legal
parameters have been left.
Calmly wait for your esquires.
You will die.
The legal parameters
have been left.
Calmly wait for your esquires.
You will die.
We will live.
Calmly wait
for your esquires. You will die.
The legal parameters
have been left.
Calmly wait for your esquires.
You will die.
I was just thinking
of something that Garp said.
He said that...
"Life is when you feel."
Little problem.
Excuse me!
For breach of contract...
you are all
sentenced to death.
Fuck off!
- Ready?
- Don't touch my fucking shoulder, man.
Don't touch my fucking shoulder.
And that's how what
I had really wanted began.
Families came outside one by one
like a single fire,
because Garp was vulnerable,
because Garp stood naked
in front of the window.
The entire world is standing
naked in front of their window.
The entire world was connecting.
The simple feeling of connection
I wanted years before,
the feeling I created a drug
that let you live
your wildest dreams for.
The feelings
I so desperately wanted.
The feeling of connection.
That feeling
wasn't a feeling at all,
but a truth.
Whether we feel
connected or not,
we are connected.
And God knew it.
It was not technology
in our way.
No, no, it was us.
And because Garp stood naked in front
of that window, people freed themselves
because of one man putting
out what he really wanted.
We all got to share
in something beautiful.
And even though Garp died,
many more people lived...
by being honest about wanting
to see a girl naked in a window.
By being himself, Garp rebooted
the entire world.
The technology, the politics.
They're all out the window.
And I hope that is how we will live
without Garp. And how I want you to live
without me.
Without Ward.