Wrestling Ernest Hemingway (1993) Movie Script

- What do you want. Cooney?
- I got this package for you.
You better put on clothes
or I'm gonna call the cops.
Oh. I'll put something on when
you fix the goddamn air conditioner.
So you just gonna stand
in front of me right like this?
Say what you gotta say. lady.
It's goddamn hot in there...
...and I ain't going back for clothes.
Say. Cooney. it's kind of nice out.
I think I'll leave it out.
- This is for you.
- What is it?
How should I know?
It came to the office.
It's from my son!
- Frank.
- Yeah.
I've been easy on you up till now.
That's because you're new.
But not anymore.
So put on some clothes and get your
address straight because I'm not UPS.
Hey. Cooney! Cooney.
I was expecting a letter!
- Well. all I got was that box.
- It's for my birthday.
Let's hope it's a pair of pajamas.
Good morning. Walt.
Good morning. Elaine.
I would like to have six pieces of bacon
and four slices of toast. please.
- And a small juice.
- I know. Walt.
- And you know what I'm gonna say.
- I know.
Bacon's not so good for me, but I like
to make sandwiches with the bread.
- It's good that way.
- It might be good that way. Walt...
...but it's not good for you.
But you want it anyway. right?
- Yes.
- All right.
And there is a dance at the Oriole's
Lodge on the 21st of July.
And there is a band. too.
coming down from Jacksonville.
It has five members...
...and I heard they
have very good dancers there and...
He's still here?
I know he is. Ryan.
I'm looking right at him.
That was a rhetorical question.
He's been here since 9.
Has he bought anything?
Well, he asked for
Folio wing the Equator.
I ordered it for him.
It'll be about three weeks.
Is he planning on waiting here?
I don't know.
That was another
rhetorical question.
I did show him
the Hemingway section.
It's the damn air conditioning.
These old bastards
have nothing to do all day.
This isn't a library. Get rid of him.
- Well. what do you want me to say?
- I don't care.
Make sure you get
the postage on that book.
- Oh. well. he's already paid for it.
- Good. Get him out of here.
I'll take that.
Excuse me. sir?
Sir. excuse me.
The manager says
you've been here all day.
Yeah. I managed to locate
the Hemingway.
Well. the manager says
you've been here too long.
I got into a wrestling match
with him once. you know.
You wrestled my manager?
You wrestled Ernest Hemingway?
I truly did.
Well. did you win?
Well. 1938. Puerto Rico.
I was the youngest captain
on the Caribbean.
- Twenty years old, you...
- Ryan.
If you're not gonna buy that book. sir.
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
- What time is it, son?
- Almost 11. You've been here two hours.
Oh. well. then.
I've got someplace to be.
- Can you hold?
- No, sir, I don't think so.
We're receiving heavy mortar fire
on our right flank.
Jim, let': get some mortar fire.
Heavy mortars.
Target area 4807 item.
- Mac.
- Sir?
I'm going on over to Fox Company.
There goes the bravest man I ever seen.
Let': go, fellas.
You haven't mentioned
my new cap. Georgia.
I hadn't noticed. Francis.
Those speakers
sounded better yesterday.
This old theater is just like me.
We're both falling apart.
You look all right to me.
You know. my boy. he's taking me
to Fort Lauderdale for the weekend.
You know. to watch the fireworks
and what have you.
He sent me this hat
for my birthday. you know.
Actually. it's not till tomorrow actually.
July 3rd.
That's when he's coming to get me.
The reason I like it, you see.
It's got this extra deluxe feature.
Keeps the sun off your neck.
- What's the big idea. Francis?
- It's a real dog day today.
How about coming with me
for a double feature?
Two movies for the price of one.
- You're gonna get in trouble.
- Who's gonna catch me? The runt?
Come on. It's hotter than hell
out there.
Besides. you haven't even
got a hat to keep the sun away.
Well. it's a fine cap. Frank. But
a gentleman wouldn't wear it indoors.
I'm as gentle as they come. lady.
- Do it again.
- Yeah. come on!
- Come on. kid. come on.
- Ball four! Take your base!
Here we go. Henry! Concentrate!
Remember what I told you!
Choke up. Keep the bat at 40 degrees
at all times, Hank! Here we go.
Settle in. that's it. They've got a pitch.
Henry. look at me. Eye on the ball.
concentration and follow-through.
Now. step in there. step in there.
Get that bat. cock that bat back there.
Eye on the ball, concentration.
- Strike two!
- Go. Red. go.
Take your time.
Don't let him intimidate you.
Pick out a nice pitch, relax.
Cock that left arm. that's it.
Be mean. Henry.
That's you. baby!
Strike three!
That's the ball game!
We'll get some ice cream.
Come on.
JOEY. pizza!
What the hell are you doing?
It occurred to me...
...that walking forward
strengthens the front of the leg...
...but it neglects the back. $0...
You see these fellas
bent over at the waist...
Not me!
- Straight as a soldier.
- Your son called.
He called the office. You gotta get
a phone. Joyce. I'm not a secretary.
You ought to get yourself a husband.
Cooney. You wouldn't be so mean.
I had a husband.
That's how I got this way.
What'd he say? What'd he say?
He won't be picking you up tomorrow.
Something about his job.
That ain't the right message.
- He said he was sorry. but that...
- He was supposed to send me a letter.
I mean. I ain't know nothing
about this calling business.
I'm just telling you what he told me.
When he moved me into this
shithole. He said "he told me".
He promised. Promised. that he would
take me south for the fireworks.
Don't insult my place.
Well. I guess...
I guess he's busy.
His wife and...
He's got a damn important job.
You know. they...
They keep him working through
the holidays. I mean. you understand.
Yeah. I understand.
It was my birthday tomorrow.
...I got myself a book.
a bottle of whiskey.
I'll take them both to the park
and see which one I can finish first.
- Bet $5 on the bottle.
- I wouldn't bet against you. Cooney.
That's a nice cap
you got there. friend.
Thank you. sir.
Of course. you're putting the back of
your neck in danger with a cap like that.
Now. the one I'm wearing has this
deluxe feature. you see. So there's...
There's no risk.
You see? That, see?
That's what protects
the back of your neck from the sun.
I'm talking about
the extra brim feature.
Which I notice
your cap does not have.
What do you got there?
I have a bacon sandwich.
I don't suppose...
Well. I don't suppose you could
get a hat like this around here.
My son and my daughter-in-law sent it
to me from Fort Lauderdale.
For my birthday.
You have a nice cap. sir.
but I am busy with my work.
- How are you today?
- Fine. how are you?
Oh. I've seen better days. darling.
Most of them from the bow of a boat...
...just like that one.
- Why aren't you at school today?
- It's summertime.
Well. you got yourself the right idea.
hanging around the water.
Down here. you get yourself
a nice breeze.
I'm gonna be in second grade
in one month.
You take your time, now.
Because these summer days go slow.
But let me tell you, sweetheart.
the years fly by.
Yeah. they fly by.
Joyce. what are you doing?
I was sleeping.
You fix my air conditioner. lady.
- You smell like booze.
- You fix my goddamn air.
You are drunk. Now. go back to bed.
- I can't breathe!
- Stop yelling or I'll call the cops!
- Now get back upstairs.
- I'm melting in that room!
You will be fine for the night.
and I will have it fixed tomorrow.
Don't walk away from me.
Don't shut that fucking door on me!
I'm melting up there!
I'm dying in that room!
I'm shrinking.
I mean. I used to...
I used to be 6-foot-3!
I ain't even 6 feet!
I measured myself.
I ain't even 6 feet!
I remember you, fella.
You were sitting here yesterday.
- And you were eating one of those.
- Yes. yes.
- You eat one of those every day?
- No. no.
- You were eating one yesterday. right?
- Yes.
- You're eating one again today. right?
- Yes.
- And you don't eat one every day?
- Yes.
I don't eat one every day.
I eat two every day. One at 10 for my
breakfast and one at 2:30 for my lunch.
Your wife make them for you?
No. no. no. Elaine makes them for me
at the Sweetwater Snack Shop.
It's across the park.
near the pet store.
Well. I think I'll go buy
myself a birthday sandwich.
do you sit around here all afternoon?
I don't only sit. I do my puzzles.
Why don't you buy
yourself a fresh sandwich.
- That one's been in your pocket.
- No. no. no. My pockets are clean.
No offense. my friend.
I just thought...
Well. I just thought you might
like to get out of the heat...
...buy yourself a new sandwich.
seeing that you're just sitting.
I don't want a new sandwich.
You know. goddamn it.
a man could melt on a day like this.
So I think I'll find myself a cool spot...
...and sit myself down.
Oye. wait. wait. wait.
Do you think they would
mind if I eat this one there?
- You bought it there. didn't you?
- Yes. of course.
Well. hell. no. they wouldn't mind.
If you bought it somewheres else, they'd
mind. but not if you bought it there.
Let's go.
- Are you from Puerto Rico. friend?
- No. no. no. I am from Cuba.
I was in Puerto Rico once.
I got into a mix-up with Ernest
Hemingway. You ever hear of him?
Yes. but I am not from Puerto Rico.
Well. I was...
In 1938. I was the youngest sea captain
of the Caribbean.
Carlos. where are those hash browns?
Who are these people?
HEY. where you going. pal?
I'm going to this side.
to my regular seat.
But this side here has
got the air conditioning. you see.
I'm sure that side is nice.
but this is where I get my sandwiches.
It's a bacon sandwich.
you can get them anywhere.
No. no. no. It's a special order.
Only Elaine can get them.
She works on this side.
Bernice works on that side.
Jesus. we could've eaten already.
Hurry. Harry.
- Too late.
- Sorry.
I hope Elaine doesn't see me sitting here.
I don't wanna hurt her feelings.
It's my birthday. you know.
I'm 75 years old today.
He would have been 75 too.
Old Johnny One-Eye.
the baldheaded champ.
He was a friend of yours?
My very best.
Oh. he was a boxer, this Johnny?
Well. he's down for the count now.
I like boxing.
but I like baseball better.
There's a team.
I call them the Little Red Guys. they...
You... You...
- You don't have that problem. pal?
- Which problem?
With your cucumber.
I don't eat cucumbers.
I always eat these bacon sandwiches.
Elaine says they're no good for me. but...
You know. you answer questions
that nobody asks.
- You're a lot like a woman.
- What can I get you, gentlemen?
Can I ask you a question, darling?
Would there be anything unusual
about me ordering a bacon sandwich?
Yeah. it's not on the menu.
I can bring you the bacon and bread. but
you're gonna have to build it yourself.
That'll be all right.
Thank you. darling.
My name's Bernice.
See? You can order them anywheres.
- She didn't say not to eat it.
- Why would she say that?
Elaine always says not to eat them.
She says they're no good for me.
Bernice didn't say anything.
Walter's here.
- He was here this morning.
- Well. he's back.
- What's he doing on that side?
- I have no idea.
He's with a real loudmouth too.
I captained boats, charters. merchants.
I've been to Puerto Rico many times.
I'm not from Puerto Rico. There's
an empty table on the other side.
I started sailing when I was 14.
Maybe I should move.
I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Twice in one day. Walter.
what's the occasion?
- It's my birthday.
- And who are you?
Francis Joyce.
- And how old are you, Francis?
- I'm 70 years old today.
You're old enough to know
you shouldn't wear a hat inside.
This is no ordinary goddamn hat.
That's true.
And you. you know you're breaking
my heart sitting in Bernice's section...
...when there's a table
opened up in mine.
Hey. you. you should not swear
to her.
I didn't say a goddamn thing.
You said "goddamn.
And you told me you were 75.
- I am. for chrissakes.
- You told Elaine you were 70.
When I saw her,
I felt like I was 70 again.
She's got a great back yard.
I don't know. I've never been
to her house.
I'm talking about her ass.
- Excuse me.
- Where you going?
There are seats open
in Elaine's section.
I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Excuse me.
This seat is occupied.
You're damn right it is.
And my tired ass is not moving.
My friend sits there.
- Is this an imaginary friend?
- No. she's real. She's just late.
She can stand, then.
Besides. if you're a decent gentleman.
you'll give her your seat.
Hi. Walter.
- Oh. no. You sit. I can stand.
- No. Elaine. you sit.
You stand up all day at work.
I sit all day.
You should live in Sweetwater. You
wouldn't have to take the bus every day.
Well. then I wouldn't get to see you
every afternoon.
So who's your friend?
Friend? Oh. no. no.
I only met him in the park.
I think he slept there all night.
I've never seen you in there
with anybody else before.
It's too much eating alone. Walter.
It's almost as bad for you
as those sandwiches.
The guy. Frank. he wanted to know
a good place to eat...
...so I told him the Sweetwater
Snack Shop has the best food.
You've only had one thing there. Walter.
It's not even on the menu.
I told him anyway.
for good business for you. see.
- Okay. Thank you.
- Yes. yes.
He's 75. He told you he was 70.
He's 75.
He knows you for one minute...
...and already he's saying one lie
and one curse and...
Some guys swear all the time.
There was a man at the Oriole's Lodge...
...he swore so much, for two weeks
I didn't know he was speaking English.
I never heard those words before.
Have you ever been
to the Oriole's Lodge?
I didn't think they allowed
women there.
No. no. Women can come
on certain nights.
- Really?
- For dances. yes. yes.
They have them once a year.
those dances, for summer.
They're very nice. I heard. Yes.
They have a dinner with decorations...
...and blue napkins. And sometimes
a band comes down from Jacksonville.
- It's okay. Yes. yes.
- It sounds nice.
- Thanks.
- Have a good evening. Elaine.
- Bye. Earl.
- Watch your step. folks.
Okay. end of the line. Walt.
- We'll see you tomorrow. Walt?
- See you tomorrow. Earl.
All right.
You smell so good.
I washed my hair for you.
I knew we'd be together, so 1...
- I love you, Johnny.
- I love you.
I love you so much I ache inside.
I feel the same way too, Johnny.
Feel my heart pounding.
Mine': the same.
What do you think you're doing. mister?
I'm sitting here next to you
- watching the movie.
- You ask...
...when you want to sit
next to a lady.
Well. can I sit here?
Yes. you may.
Just what do you think
you're doing now?
You said I could sit here.
I said you could sit here.
I didn't say you could sit here today.
You have to make plans
for something like that.
You can sit next to me Saturday...
...for the early show.
Sit somewhere else now.
First. "You can sit.
Now. "You can't sit.
Touch me. "You can't touch me.
Women. they'll drive you crazy.
I thought your son was taking you
to Fort Lauderdale.
Oh. now you wanna talk to me.
It would be a lot easier
if I was sitting up there.
There's the idea.
It would be a lot better than
staring at the back of your head.
We'll discuss that on Saturday.
- Hi.
- Afternoon. ma'am.
What the hell are you
doing in here. Cooney?
I'm freezing my ass off.
I got something in here for you.
A testament to last night's sobriety.
You were really sober last night.
I was sober enough to know
that I was drunk.
I got you some Guinness. Cooney.
Good old Irish stuff.
You know. two old Irish dogs
should not be barking at each other.
That's nice, Joyce. Only I ain't Irish.
Cooney. What the hell kind of
a name is Cooney if it ain't Irish?
That husband I had, he was Irish.
He left. I got stuck with the name.
Well. it's a good name.
How long were you married
to the guy?
- Fourteen years.
- Oh. well. you did your time.
You're Irish enough.
- Here.
- No. thanks. Frank.
Fourteen years with him.
I got no taste for anything Irish.
Irish wool?
- No.
- lrish eyes.
Irish whiskey?
One more year.
he'd have killed that too.
But he left just in time.
Well. it's a sorry sea captain...
...who's got no Irish whiskey.
I'll get it and we'll christen
the new air machine.
I stayed with him long enough...
...to raise suspicions about the Irish
that you confirm. Joyce.
And what would those be?
That the Irish are foul-mouthed. lazy
bastards who parade around naked.
We'll call her the 8.8. Cuuney.
That's quite an honor.
It's not after you. I'm naming her
after that poor bastard Mr. Cooney...
...and the 14 years of hell
you put him through.
It is closed.
I can see that.
This is bad news.
I thought you was in the park
this time of day.
They must have closed early today.
Well. this is no ordinary day.
- It's the Fourth of July.
- I know what today is.
What am I supposed to do for lunch?
I don't know.
She will be at the fireworks.
You get the fireworks here?
No. we don't get the fireworks here.
Only in Carter Bay. where Elaine lives.
And she will be there. Probably.
I'd like to have seen
the fireworks show.
Me too. but they are miles away.
Even six. possibly.
And there is no bus today.
That's too much to walk.
I think I might drive.
You drive?
I wish the bus was working.
I would take it to the fireworks.
You're hungry. huh?
Yes. I am.
All the restaurants are closed. There is
nothing to eat from here to Carter Bay.
...I packed...
...only this sandwich.
You say we were driving. Frank.
This is not driving. this is riding.
Back there. you're riding.
Up front. I'm driving. I've got
the steering to worry about.
- It'd be easier if you'd use your pedals.
- No. they're moving too fast.
I'm 80 years old.
If you don't start pedaling.
I'll die before we get there.
- You said you were 75.
- I was exaggerating to make a point.
Now. look.
Pedal! Pedal!
- Frank?
- What?
- Frank.
- What?
Do you think we could find
a restroom?
The next one we see.
Now. just pedal for a while. will you?
I don't think they have
restrooms out here.
I don't think they have
restrooms out here. Frank.
I'll find you a bathroom...
...after we finish the sandwich.
I was a barber.
- I cut my own hair.
- Yes. I can tell.
Say. you look like you
got some Italian in you.
No. I'm not Italian.
A good haircut makes a man
look respectable.
- My first wife was Italian.
- I'm not Italian.
I was good.
I could make you look like...
...a gentleman.
We met at Saint Kitts.
I was 20 years old.
Her name...
...was Isabel.
She loved to screw!
Not just with me.
That was part of our problem.
I don't think about her that much.
But she was Italian.
Of course...
...she's probably dead by now.
God rest her soul.
She could use the rest.
- Frank?
- Yeah?
We just rest for a minute...
...and maybe find a restroom.
I wanna get to the fireworks on time.
You ain't tired?
I ain't tired.
We are missing the fireworks!
Up there...
And I still need to find a restroom!
We are missing the fireworks.
We are missing them.
We are missing the fireworks, Frank.
I was 17...
...the first time I got laid.
It was on a barge sailing to Freeport.
She had to be 40 years old.
I spoke just three words to her.
I told her that...
I told her that I loved her.
We should leave now. Frank.
I did love her...
...for about seven seconds.
I remember.
- Walt. sit down with me.
- No. You tricked me to come out here.
You said you had a car
and then made me drive a bike.
Have a drink with me. Walt.
You say you find me a restroom.
and now I'm standing...
...far away from the other people
and I still have to pee, Frank!
I promised I'd find you a bathroom.
I promised I'd take you
to the fireworks.
Come here. Come here.
What do you see out there?
I see some fireworks.
Now. Walt...
...reach in...
...take out your pecker...
...and feed the fish.
- Feed the fish?
- Piss in the ocean.
- You have to pee too?
- I'm 75 years old.
I always have to pee.
Walt. can you remember...
...when this didn't take so long?
Sometimes I think I'll fall asleep
standing like this. I wait so long.
Feeding the fish.
Feeding the fish.
You can speak Spanish.
What else can you say?
A few phrases. Help me get through
some lonely nights.
- You speak very well.
- I had a lot of practice.
Frank. that woman
you were talking about...
...you slept with her
only after three words?
Well... Well. actually. the words
sort of came in the middle.
The $4 came before.
I'll tell you all about it.
But first...
You're welcome.
Now. Now I'll tell you.
First time I saw her...
...her tits were smiling at me
across the room.
And she looked at me.
and I said. "Oh...
Okay now. be aggressive
out there. right. kiddo?
Remember the three A's:
aggressiveness. attitude. ability.
Let's go. Sweetwater!
- Hey. batter. batter. batter.
- Here we go.
Step "m. Henry. here we go.
- He can't hit it anyway!
That's Big Henry.
He doesn't get so many hits.
Here we go. Lock down, guy.
Here we go. Concentrate.
Concentrate now.
- Time-out.
- Be tough. guy. be tough out there.
- You all right?
- Now. you see that's the first base.
- Okay. take your base.
Today is the day that we win.
Look at that crazy hair.
What you need is a good haircut.
Yeah. it's goddamn hot here.
You know. we ought to be
out on the ocean.
Today's the kind of day
you want your worm in the water.
I like to go fishing.
Oh. no. no. no. No. no. no.
Big Henry's too far off first base.
Go on. go ahead. Don't worry
about him. He's got no move.
- No. go back. go back. go back.
- That's it, that's it, now watch.
- Back. back. back!
- Go back!
- You're out!
- That's the game.
I don't believe it.
All right. yeah!
I thought today would be the day
for certain.
One of these days.
One of these days.
- You like these games. Walter.
- Yeah. I like baseball, yes.
I saw the New York Yankees
play in the World Series. 1958.
I came from Cuba to watch.
Yogi Berra. Mickey Mantle.
Whitey Ford is on one team.
They are famous even in Cuba. I hear so
much. I want to see them play myself.
It's the greatest team ever.
Yankees. 1958.
The best team. The best.
You came before the changes?
- Yes. before.
- You never went back, huh?
While I was here. things changed so
fast. I didn't know my home anymore...
...so I stayed here and I wait for things
to be the same there again. But no.
Who is she, Frank? Who?
That depends on who you ask.
My second wife thought it was her.
My third wife thought the same.
My fourth wife, she was a redhead.
She thought it was my mother.
Well. the truth is, I don't know
who she was or where came from.
Woke up one morning. there she was.
Sort of like my first wife.
How do you get so many wives?
Hey. Walt. what time is it?
It's 12 and 40 minutes.
I'm late for a date.
I've got a lady friend to meet.
Oh. well. I... I have
a lady friend to meet too.
What's that smell?
That's my aftershave.
- You have a date tonight. Walter?
- No. no date.
...what is that stink? Is that you?
I'm surprised they let you on the bus
smelling like that.
I'm surprised you fit
through the doors.
Come on. Georgia.
Don't give me the high-hat.
You live like in prison, Frank.
You have no record player
or television.
Or even a telephone.
Just your regular trim. huh?
I don't want to look like
no pretty boy.
I know what I'm doing.
Stop moving so much
or I make a mistake.
Cut off your ear.
That's what I told little children.
And you're like them. always moving.
I'm used to doing this myself.
You don't do a good job.
I was a barber 50 years...
...and I never heard of a man
who cuts his own hair.
Now you have a good haircut...
...for at least once in your life.
Do I look respectable?
Well. maybe for you
a haircut is not enough.
You don't even have one picture.
Not one.
Even men in prison.
they have pictures.
When I was in the service.
we had a saying:
"All a sailor needs is a straight back.
strong legs and a stiff pecker...
...and every port's his home.
- I don't know what that means.
- Well. it means...
...a man can wash up anywheres...
...and he can take care of hisself.
Stay still, Frank. I won't hurt you.
- You spend a lot of time at sea?
- Yeah.
When things got hot here.
you know...
...with wife and with boy...
...that's where I'd go.
Was it hard to be away
from your family?
Yeah. it was hard.
Not because...
Not because I was away.
but because...
sometimes, I tell you...
...I didn't wanna go back.
I wanted to be alone.
Well. I got my wish.
But goddamn it...
...my back is still straight.
my legs are still strong.
How do I look?
It's so beautiful. Frank.
- I wasn't married in Cuba.
- No?
I think if I had have stayed
I would be married.
Here. I had to start again. l...
I had to learn English...
...and I had to make my barbershop.
Before I knew. it was...
I was an old man.
You are naked, Frank.
What are you waiting for? Come on in.
You're swimming naked!
Sure. You never went skinny-dipping
when you were a kid?
Yes. but I wore a bathing suit.
You said we were going fishing.
I hate fishing. Told you we was
gonna dip our worms in the water.
Come on.
Maybe I could go in my pants.
Hey. Walt!
You know what's in this water?
Me. a bunch of fish.
None of us are wearing pants.
Come on!
I'm telling you, he smacked me
right on the ass.
- Get out of here.
- He did.
Of course. I should have known
better than to turn my back on him.
- What are you, nuts?
- Make way!
Saltshakers next. right?
Here's the knucklehead now.
Look at them. Heckle and Jeckle.
I haven't seen those two apart in
a whole week. I bet they sleep together.
Leave them alone. Bernice.
I miss them more than I miss you.
Why can I not drive ever?
You cannot drive ever. because up front.
you gotta pedal and steer.
You've just learned how
to do the first part.
So is today the day that you two
surprise me...
...and order something intelligent?
I thought about what you said
the other day. sweetheart. I really did.
But I can't resist those damn things.
So bring us our special ingredients.
You should not swear so much
when you speak to her. She's a nice girl.
You ought to buy
a goddamn hearing aid.
I didn't say a damn thing.
You did. You said one damn
and one "goddamn.
If he touches my ass one more time.
I'll stick a fork in him.
Better get used to it.
I'll serve Frank all the bacon
he can eat.
Maybe he'll drop dead.
I thought that Red would win
yesterday. They were so close.
They were doing just fine...
...till Big Henry dropped the ball.
They will win one of these days.
Say. they don't play tomorrow.
do they?
- No. it's Friday.
- Good.
Meet me at the movies tomorrow.
The noon show.
I've got a... No. come on.
I've got a surprise for you.
I don't wanna see two movies
for the price of one.
- It ain't that. Walt. It's a surprise.
- I never enjoy the first one.
I'm too nervous about going
to the second one.
Will you just meet me at noon. Walt?
Don't wait for me outside.
Buy a ticket. I'll meet you in the lobby.
Elaine! Hey. what about
the goddamn bacon?
You want a ticket for the noon show?
And another one for the 2:00?
Is that against the rules?
I guess not.
There you go.
Your ticket. sir?
How about this suit?
It's beautiful.
When did you get this job?
I applied for it last week.
after the haircut.
Hey. Frankie.
Hey. Walt.
- I need your ticket.
- Oh. I'm sorry.
Gotta do my job.
Can't get caught slacking off
the first day.
See that redhead up front?
She thinks I'm something special.
I'm gonna pay her a visit.
Before you get excited. lady.
I'm not just some jerk...
...sitting down beside you.
I'm doing my job.
This is one of my responsibilities.
I've got to try out each seat.
You look real pretty today. Georgia.
What do you think of the suit?
- It's nice.
- Nice?
Come on.
Take another look.
You look very handsome.
I had a shave. you know.
It's real smooth.
You wanna feel my face?
I believe we're all alone.
It's romantic. I think.
You just get back onto your side.
It's like they're playing the movie
just for us.
You're a beautiful woman. Georgia.
- Listen. mister!
- You're a beautiful. beautiful woman.
- That's enough!
- Come on. Georgia!
Georgia. Georgia!
You're acting like a fool. Francis.
Where's your pal?
He's working.
That lout found a job?
Yes. because I cut his hair.
You should see him.
he has some fancy suit.
Can I get you something to eat. Walt?
This is not Elaine's side?
Yeah. well. Elaine's not here.
She is sick?
Yeah. well. I'd say so.
She's marrying a Marine.
- She's getting married?
- Yep.
- No.
- Yeah. Contrary to my advice.
She's moving to Pensacola.
also contrary to my advice.
She's working Wednesday lunch.
as a favor...
...if you'd like to say goodbye.
What would you like to eat. Walt?
I'm not so hungry.
- You're not hungry?
- No.
So you came into a restaurant?
Maybe you'd like a drink?
A small juice. maybe.
Yeah. yeah. yeah.
Yeah. yeah. yeah! Yeah.
Walt? Walt.
- Come on in. Come on.
- Good morning. Frank.
What time is it?
It is 11:00.
- That late. huh?
- Yes.
Well. I didn't get much sleep
last night.
Remember that woman in the movies
yesterday? The feisty one?
Well. she... She stopped by here
late last night.
With a bottle of wine.
To apologize. she said.
So I was up most of the night
accepting her apology. so to speak.
You just missed her.
Frank. I came to ask if you're going
to your work today.
Yeah. 4:00.
I thought maybe I could use your
bicycle today. if you don't need it.
Oh. I don't know.
That's no easy job.
I mean. up front. you gotta steer.
What do you need it for?
How come you haven't shaved today?
Oh. it's a pain in the ass. Walt.
What about the bike?
I want to go buy something.
A gift for Elaine.
She's leaving. you know.
- A goodbye gift?
- Yes.
I'll give you a ride down. We'll chip in
and buy her something nice.
Oh. I don't know.
Maybe you could give me the ride
and I could buy her something myself.
You've never even said hello
to a woman.
How would you know
how to say goodbye?
Saying goodbye to women
takes a touch.
I've been married and divorced four
times. I'm an expert on the subject.
We'll go to the pier market.
No. I thought I would go
to 12th Street. to the gift shop.
Oh. she surely was something
last night. Walt!
I didn't sleep a wink.
You'd think that on my last day
you would order something different.
Just to make me happy. But no.
- You smell nice.
- I smell like bacon.
We brought you
a going-away present.
- A bottle of vodka?
- What's wrong? You don't like vodka?
No. it's very sweet. but I don't drink.
- Well. you gotta drink something.
- Yeah. well. not this.
But I know plenty of people
who do. 50...
Well. one of them is sitting
right next to you.
You guys are sweethearts.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you. Walter.
Well. how the hell did I know?
I thought everybody drank.
You said you knew what she'd like.
You said goddamn and asshole.
You should not speak that way to her.
Even a sailor can watch his mouth.
I wasn't a sailor! Captains can say
whatever they goddamn like!
No. no. leave your ugly words
for the water.
Women should not hear such things!
Don't tell me about women. Walt!
I've had four wives!
That does not mean you know
women so well.
I think that means you don't know
women at all!
I got news for you, pal!
- Women like me!
- No. no.
Women slap you in the face
because you only know how to be rude!
I suppose you learned
a lot about women...
...dancing around your apartment
by yourself!
I saw you the other night.
Spinning around your living room!
You just leave Elaine alone.
she is my friend.
You don't have a right to buy awful
gifts and tell her they're from me.
I would not buy her something
so awful.
Now she thinks I am awful too.
Were you thinking about Elaine when
you were dancing around in that suit?
- I am only practicing.
- Practicing?
- Yes.
- Practicing.
I bet you've been dancing around
up there for 30 years!
That ain't practicing.
that's fantasizing!
No. you are the one who fantasizes.
Number one...
...you lie that that woman
slept with you last night.
You pretend to be king with the women.
wearing that hat like a crown!
It is a stupid hat. Only a stupid $7 hat!
And women. they think you are
a clown!
You don't touch that hat.
Don't touch that hat.
Don't touch that hat.
Come on. Walt. Come on. Walter.
Come on. come on. come on. Walt.
You don't touch that hat again.
That's a gift from my son.
And it's a damn fine hat!
No. No. it is not. It's a terrible gift.
Like the one you bought Elaine.
It is thoughtless. and only a terrible
son would buy that gift for his father.
I don't have to take any more
of that shit from you.
You're... You're worse than a woman.
You're a man without balls!
A man without balls!
And don't tell me I got a terrible son.
Because I do. goddamn it, I do.
But I don't need you to tell me that.
That's life, Walt!
That's what life does to you.
But you wouldn't know that...
...because you've never lived one!
You've got no balls!
You just got your dancing...
...and your goddamn baseball games
and your crossword puzzles!
I had nice things to do...
...until you came with your stories.
always talking. so I can't have peace.
You never. ever listen, only talk.
What do you know anyways?
You only know me a couple weeks!
- What do I know?
- Yeah.
What I know?
I know Elaine was my friend before
you came here with your filthy mouth.
I could have breakfast
and she would be nice to me.
And now she won't be here anymore.
Oye. Frank.
You may have a job
and a spiffy jacket...
but you are still...
Are only a dirty sailor.
A dirty sailor.
See you later, twinkle toes.
Drive them in. and we win.
You're the hero. Hank the hero.
- Time-out.
- That's what they'll call you.
Come on. Henry. Henry.
Come on. buddy.
- Okay. fielders. move in.
- No pressure, though. son.
Keep your eye on the ball.
That's it.
Take your time. And remember.
never lose your composure.
Hey. why don't you shut the hell up
and let your son bat.
You want a piece of me?
I'm talking to my kid here.
- I don't want a piece of you.
- It's none of your business.
What are you pushing for?
Don't give me a push.
Oh. that was a push? That's a push.
That's what I call a push.
- You're out of control, man.
- It's none of your business!
- It's none of your business.
- You're pushing me now?
I can do whatever I wanna do.
It's a free country.
Come on. Mike. get it!
Go on. go on. go on!
Go on. go on!
- Safe!
- Yeah!
Mnist, humid air out of-
- Who is it?
- Francis.
You better not be drunk.
I'm not drunk. I've been working.
A man don't drink on the job.
He drinks after the job.
You shouldn't be coming around here
so late. Joyce.
Especially in that good-looking suit.
I don't want people talking.
They all go to sleep before
the sun sets. Nobody's looking.
Well. it is almost midnight.
I was sleeping myself.
Sleeping? How come I heard
the television...
...before you came to the door?
You got good ears for an old man.
I just wanna sit down
for a little while.
And he hit that ball so hard...
...I thought the bat was broke in half.
Could you drop a little of that in here?
He stood 6 feet tall.
It was a great sight to see.
You know. Frank...
...before you came around. I'd forgotten
how much I really like Irish whiskey.
You know. it was a great sight to see.
Did I ever tell you of the time
I met Ernest Hemingway?
If you're gonna tell me that story again.
fill it up to the top.
1938. Puerto Rico. I was the youngest
sea captain in the Caribbean.
I was 20 years old, you see.
Now. Hemingway. he was...
He was older. but he was strong.
He was a fisherman.
And he liked to congregate with other
fishermen. sailors. what have you.
One night, he was as tight as a drum.
He stands up and he shouts out how
he could whip any man in the room.
Which was a stupid thing to say.
- Now. why was that. Frank?
- Because I was there. lady.
And I was a sight to see.
Oh. I had arms as wide and round as...
As these legs.
And these legs were
as big as banyan trees.
I was rough. tougher than hell.
I was as hard as a rock.
So l... I walked up to him...
...and I smiled.
And I said. "Whip me. Go on.
Go on. try and whip me.
Because I was as hard as a rock.
I was a...
I was a sight to see.
You're a beautiful woman. Helen.
You're a beautiful. beautiful woman.
- You've had a lot to drink, Frank.
- And you've got great tits.
All my wives had great tits.
- Pick up your clothes now.
- Come here. Helen.
- Come on. come on. it's late.
- Just let me feel your tits...
...press against me.
Don't walk away from me. woman!
Don't walk away from me!
You're not gonna send me up to bed
like some kid.
I came down to spend the night
with a woman.
I can't do this anymore.
I'm sorry. Helen.
I used to pick women up in my arms.
I could carry them upstairs.
And now I'm carrying my clothes.
Like a clown.
Let me sleep on your couch.
I don't wanna go back
to that room tonight.
I don't wanna be up there alone.
Not tonight.
Come here.
Excuse me. ladies.
What do you call that activity there?
- We're dancing.
- Dancing?
No. no. I'm sorry. ladies...
...but that ain't dancing.
The two of you are 3 feet apart.
One of you is moving around
without the other.
You gotta have a partner to dance.
I don't know how.
Oh. there's nothing to it.
Do you wanna learn?
- It's okay.
- Okay.
First of all. you gotta put on
some beneficial music.
That's nice. Give me your two hands.
Now put your left foot
up on my right foot...
...your right foot on my left foot.
One. two. three. follow me.
You know. you should've been
at the game. Walt.
I am ashamed I kept you away.
It was a sight to see.
I'll tell you. Big Henry...
Well. Big Henry hit a... He went...
He's never gonna get a hit, I guess.
They could've won it this time...
...but Big Henry struck out again.
I'm afraid.
You're doing well. Yes. you are.
You know. Walter...
...I've been married and divorced
four times.
I've got a lot of enemies...
...but I'm kind of short on friends.
Let's g0. girls. It's getting late.
Did you have a good time?
You guys were wonderful.
I never knew you could dance.
I'm sorry I made fun of your hat. Frank.
Yeah. well...
- it's a damn fine hat.
- Yes. Yes.
That was a sad day.
I never even said goodbye to Elaine.
Well. you ought to say goodbye.
It's Sunday.
The bus doesn't work today. l...
I can't get there.
...I will get you there.
Why are we stopping. Frank?
- I need to sit, Walt.
- But Elaine's is there.
You go ahead.
No. I will wait with you.
Walt. if you don't move your ass.
you're gonna miss her.
You can pick me up on the way back.
Now. get moving. Come on, come on.
Now. Walt. you'll do fine.
Just keep pedaling.
I am in the front. Frank.
lam in the front.
Keep pedaling! Keep pedaling!
I wanted to say goodbye.
That last day in the restaurant.
I didn't want to leave. but...
...Frank. he made me mad.
Oh. well. yeah. he has a way about him.
He's not a bad guy. He's just
used to being alone all the time.
- How did you find my house?
- I went to the Snack Shop...
...and they told me where you lived.
You look different, Elaine.
- I'm not in that awful uniform.
- No. it wasn't so awful. No.
Why don't you come inside.
- I have to go back.
- You just got here.
- How did you get here?
- Frank. he let me use his bike.
- You came all this way on that?
- Yes.
It wasn't hard. I'm in good shape.
Well. you better come in for a drink.
just the same.
You have many. many clothes.
So you still going to the big dance?
I hear they're not so big anymore.
- No?
- No.
Who'd you ask?
Nobody yet.
I'll be right back with your water.
I wanted to ask you to the summer
dance. but you're moving...
...so I'm going to ask someone else.
I'm a very good dancer.
You're making me very sorry
to move. Walter.
That's along way to ride a bike.
Six miles. you must be beat.
I can ride more miles than that.
Can I get you a glass of fat
to go with this?
This will do just fine.
- No. you don't.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Mickey.
You're losing your touch. Frank.
I barely felt that one.
Why don't you put that
crossword puzzle away.
I've never seen you fill
more than two boxes.
I do them when you're at work
at your fancy job.
I got sacked.
Too much time in the theater.
not enough in the lobby.
You know. Walt. that was the first job
I ever had that was not underwater.
And I was...
I was beginning to like it.
- Here.
- Thank you.
Well. tonight is a dance
at the Oriole's Lodge...
...and there is a band coming down
from Jacksonville.
It has five members.
And there is dancing and raffle...
...and free booze.
Would you like to come with me?
Are you asking me on a date. Walt?
As a friend.
- Will there be women there?
- Yes.
Old women.
I like all kinds.
Me too. Me too.
Good afternoon. Helen.
Good afternoon. Frank.
Frank. we're late. It's after 7.
Oye. Frank. We're late.
Frank. open up. Someone's waiting.
Come on. Frank.
We're going to be late. Frank. You
should be dressed. Wake up. Wake up.
Frank. up.
Well. he is drunk probably.
Why should you be drinking tonight?
Frank. hey.
Would you know who to call?
No. l...
Do you know if he had a doctor?
No. I don't know that.
Well. I have to call someone to come.
- The city will come.
- Oh. no. no. no. no.
He has a son.
Well. the son...
I'll have to call downstairs.
Would you wait?
I will wait. yes. Yes.
Oh. Frank.
You should not leave here like this. No.
You should be dressed...
...like a gentleman.
A gentleman.
Goodbye. Frank.
You shaved today.
Goodbye. Frank.