Yoki na gyangu ga chikyu o mawasu (A Cheerful Gang Turns the Earth) (2006) Movie Script

Elephant? That's the mouse's name?
Not a mouse.
A Djungarian hamster. Elephant.
Are you insulting me?
Let's go.
Hey you! Wait!
The cop's calling.
He's fake.
But he's wearing a uniform.
Is everyone
wearing a Santa outfit real?
Merry Christmas!
Is it that time of year?
I'm not ready yet.
I bet kids wish
everyday were Christmas.
But not the parents.
And you'd be really busy.
You're under arrest!
Officer Norio Akashima.
Hey, give that back!
Is imitating a cop a crime?
"I'm something like a cop" isn't.
"I am a cop" is.
I'm still testing those,
so hands off.
"Tanaka Store: Quality Guaranteed"
Is this your hobby?
It's not that casual!
I'm keeping this city safe!
What if you see a bank robber?
Let's go.
See you in 330 seconds.
Where's the romanticism?
Hands up and stand slowly, please.
Yes, you too.
Get out of there.
Slowly gather in one place.
Slowly. Slowly.
At first,
time and space didn't exist.
At first,
time and space didn't exist.
However, there was an explosion
known as the Big Bang.
It was the beginning of life.
And the start of all mistakes.
That's how the universe began.
But how was it possible
without time?
Time is perceived through change.
So, time did exist
when the universe began!
59... 60...
A minute has passed now.
I'd like 4 more minutes
of your time.
Only 240 seconds,
but the possibilities are endless.
Give me the card.
What card?
The operation card.
Uh, that's not my job.
I'm new here.
Today's my child's birthday.
It was in your pocket.
Imagination is a great thing.
Don't make these
your final 240 seconds.
Make them 240 seconds
to look back upon.
Which one opens the cash box?
I don't know.
I have no idea.
I really don't know.
The key's not here.
Everything disappears.
But precious memories remain.
Speaking of great memories...
I've got an amusing one.
Magicians say,
"Snap your fingers in a fix."
When I snap,
my memory will be projected.
Impossible, you say? It's not.
9 months 21 hours 32 minutes
18 seconds ago.
Card number 115
please come to the counter.
A bomb?
What are you saying?
Hello? Hello?
Someone planted a bomb.
A bomb?
It's a bomb! A bomb!
Get out!
It'll explode in 3 minutes! Move!
The exit's not that way. Hey!
Excuse me. I need my cash.
What? We only have 3 minutes!
You're lying.
He was a human lie-detector.
But the bomb!
You said that 3 minutes,
She had a precise biological clock.
What the...
He was a gifted pickpocket!
Hey, you!
He is a master speaker,
a dreamer seeking romantic adventure.
Stop, you robber!
No, that farce
wasn't even an attempted robbery!
Robbing a bank
isn't like murder or arson!
It's a romantic adventure!
You plan devilishly
and act angelically!
It's thrilling entertainment!
When will he shut up?
I don't think even he knows.
Do you know him?
You geek!
Who are you people?
Let's go. The cops are coming.
What about the car?
It's not mine anyway.
Hey! I'll get you for this!
Now give back my wallet.
You noticed.
How'd you do that?
A token of our encounter.
Take money from where
there's a lot.
That's your "romanticism?"
This world needs romantic crimes.
Sounds like fun.
I agree.
We could do it better,
That's how we met.
Encounters are
followed by farewells.
Encounters are
followed by farewells.
Thank you for your kind attention.
Time's up.
Show's over.
Out to get us, huh?
You okay?
Just give me 19 more seconds.
You're from outer space.
I'm flattered.
But the bank will say we took 50.
So now I'm off to Mexico.
To go see
the Hikagami Impala Alexandros.
Going overseas sucks.
You guys okay?
I think I'm alive.
I'll teach that driver traffic rules!
Look out!
Kuon, you go.
No thanks.
Are you all right?
Those hyenas!
I'm glad Elephant's okay.
That mouse isn't worth 40 million.
It's a hamster.
I'm giving it to Shinichi.
Great, I'm touched.
I'm sorry. It's my fault.
No, it's not, Yukiko.
They did it.
Are you all right?
I got this.
I'm sorry.
What's wrong?
You look tired.
I'm fine.
You need energy.
Hey, where'd it go?
Here. Give me your hand.
I enjoy your lessons, Ms. Yukiko.
Careless driving.
You lost 1 point.
You make me nervous.
Oops, this wasn't the gear!
What are you doing?
Do that again and
you get a double flip.
Are the papers
for the meeting ready?
Kuon, what's wrong?
Are you okay?
Due to the recent bank robbery...
a major anti-crime campaign
will be held.
Hello everyone, this is your Mayor.
Please rest assured.
No need to fear weird bank robbers!
The city and police will hold
a crime prevention drill.
This is the safest and
most peaceful city in the world!
Mayor Saotome!
So lame.
Why do politicians
eagerly waste tax?
You eagerly waste vocabulary.
A book of my speeches
would sell like hotcakes!
Making up for your blunder?
Not a blunder. We got robbed.
Maybe someone was a traitor.
Yeah. Gangs always have traitors.
It's like, "a gun shown early on
in a film is always fired at the end."
No, wait...
So thanks to my hard work...
and your minute efforts,
we succeeded.
But boorish thugs
trampled on our romanticism.
In short...
We're a stupid gang
that got robbed.
In short, that is.
Come on, Naruse!
Forget about it.
No Mexico for you, Kuon.
What? But our money got robbed!
It was the bank's money.
A gang without cash
isn't romantic!
Aren't you upset, Naru?
Just disappointed. We did well.
It was unavoidable.
Listen, you need passion,
spirit and to let lose.
Why not go after them?
But the masks.
No information, no clue.
And no share.
It's just not right.
They were so vulgar.
You're hiding something.
You picked it?
Is there a check
for 40 million in it?
Mr. Tatsuo Hayashi.
The guy who stole our cash.
I feel uncomfortable.
You're overreacting.
Why is it you and I?
A couple looks more natural.
Do we look like a couple?
It's better than two guys.
Let's leave it to them.
Boredom drives me crazy.
You're so immature.
Naruse can tell a film's twist
from the start.
But he's no good at love.
He needs Cupid's arrow.
They don't need your help.
Sure they do!
They're in love but won't admit it.
You can't understand
what they have.
You hurt me sometimes.
Close! Maybe next.
Wow! You can beat Naru!
Of course I can.
You're really good. Thanks to me?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Since when could you notice lies?
As a kid. Before I even realized.
What was the first lie you noticed?
I don't remember.
How about you?
When did your clock start ticking?
My boyfriend in high school
loved jazz.
I listened to a CD and said...
"Lee Morgan coming in 147 seconds
into the song is great!"
I bet he was stunned.
He looked appalled
and froze for 18 seconds.
It took 311 seconds to steal
my first car.
to Shinichi.
It's handy.
Numbers can replace any emotion.
It'd be cool if it stopped, huh.
"Mr. Hayashi enters the hayashi."
That's not funny.
Don't interfere.
Don't interfere.
I'm not interfering.
I'm interrupting.
Same thing.
What if someone's behind this?
You'd need our support.
And we can provide it.
Where are you?
Mr. "Woods" just entered the woods.
Don't say puns in front of Yukiko.
Hey, wait!
See? They don't need you.
Yes, they do!
Someone's being shot at.
Hope it's not an animal.
It's the Self-Defense Force training.
No way.
Why not?
Japan is meddling in foreign affairs.
If a draft were enforced,
you'd be the first to go.
Ever consider that? No.
Young people nowadays
lack imagination.
They lack interest.
They don't know what's important...
Watch out!
Doctor, please help him!
I'll be good!
Don't make me a murderer!
That's enough!
I understand, so let go of me!
He'll be all right.
Is that his?
Yeah. But there are no numbers.
How do I call his family?
Are you kidding? Just redial.
Oh, new feature, I see.
Not new.
Hello? My name is Kyono. Yes.
I was the traitor.
Shinichi had been kidnapped.
The man who left
before Shinichi was born showed up.
It all began then.
You haven't changed.
Things happened to me...
We're total strangers now.
Don't say that, Yukiko.
I wanted to see Shinichi just once.
After all, I am his father.
Why do you know his name?
You checked up on us.
It wasn't me.
Who, then?
Mr. Kanzaki.
He's a terrible man.
Help! If I don't get 50 million yen,
I'm done for!
You can't be serious.
I know about the bank robbery.
A man called Kanzaki
was holding his debt over him.
I'll call you on this cellphone.
Help me.
I was worried about Shinichi.
I'm sorry.
You can't handle this alone.
And he'll be back for more.
Didn't you notice my lies?
You knew, right?
I sensed something,
but I'm not omniscient.
Hello? My name is Kyono.
What's going on?
Beats me. Power of love, maybe?
I'm really sorry.
Even a monkey can be sorry.
Don't insult the monkey.
Mr. Uimichi.
Who is Kanzaki?
I don't know.
It's true! I've never met him!
He's not lying.
I knew that.
Anyone who could kill
for a few missing bucks is scum.
Humans can never get enough.
Animals can.
He should have died.
Don't say that, Yukiko.
But even if he died,
Kanzaki won't give up, right?
I suppose so.
What do we do, Naruse?
Pretend nothing happened.
Forget about the money.
Leave Kanzaki alone.
Return to our normal lives.
But what about the romanticism?
We no longer have any.
Let's disband the gang.
I'll miss you guys.
What's gone is gone.
Call me when you reassemble.
Drop by for coffee, guys.
You don't have to.
Don't come for no reason.
Shoko, make sure Kuon pays
for his coffee.
Yeah, yeah.
They're both quiet today.
It's like the Earth is still.
How's Elephant?
He got fat.
Question! Question! Question!
Name the 3 conditions needed
to put an elephant in a fridge!
"Putting an Elephant in a Fridge"
Why put it there at all?
It'll catch cold.
Couldn't it be some other animal?
So immature.
Hey, gimme a hint.
I know! I know!
First, get a big fridge.
I know, find an elephant on a diet.
African or Indian?
The first condition is...
"Open the fridge."
The second is...
"Put the elephant inside."
The third is...
"Shut the door."
"1. Open the fridge."
"2. Put the elephant inside."
"3. Shut the door."
Next question.
Name 4 conditions needed
to put a giraffe in a fridge!
What, why 4 for a giraffe?
That's the catch.
I got it!
Don't say anything!
You spelled it wrong!
Ever since
the campaign was announced...
the city has regained its tranquility.
Where did the four bank robbers
And now, the weather.
Which one?
And potato chips.
Mr. Naruse. Phone call. Line 2.
Yes, this is Naruse.
Naruse, here's the outline
of the upcoming event.
Could you check it...
Oh, he's gone.
It's raining.
Okay! Let's go!
I've always hated these places.
I could never get
why people seemed to love them.
You too, right?
Get to the point.
Get me 100 million yen in 10 days.
You think this is a game.
Heads, I win.
Tails, you lose.
Those are the rules, Mr. Naruse.
Let's have fun.
You get him because I trust you.
Don't disappoint me.
Don't ever touch him again.
You sound like a father.
You didn't have to come.
Let's go, Shinichi.
Take him. He's heavy.
Children are heavy.
Hey, Naruse?
Here's the "Grushen-kar"
you wanted.
Hit the switch and
no one can get out.
What's the problem?
What are you doing?
"You Win"
Listen up.
We're robbing a bank.
The gang's together again!
Where's the romanticism?
We're leaving the country
with the cash.
You know I hate flying.
You just can't handle it.
For a hunk of metal to if y...
International expansion!
Will it be that easy?
Risky, yes, but we can make it.
By the way, why is he here?
Maybe he's here to sing for us.
Mr. Uimichi will help us.
He only thinks of himself.
Don't say that, Yukiko.
He almost got killed.
We can trust him.
He'll sell us to Kanzaki.
If so, he'll be killed anyway.
But he will,
as long as the Earth turns.
I don't sense any romanticism
from him.
Will he be of any use?
There's no room.
I feel bad luck next to me.
Or like there's a stone in my shoe.
Kyo, grow up.
Being immature is my policy!
Let's go.
See you in 420 seconds.
Where's the romanticism?
Please give us
Let the 7 minutes be like a dream.
Why do we forget dreams
when we wake?
This is because...
it's relayed to someone else.
You received last night's dream
from a stranger.
And your dream is then
handed over to another.
The dream you see tonight...
might be from the tropics,
and then...
might be relayed to the North Pole.
A I dreams are connected.
People from quarreling nations...
relay dreams, surpassing race,
borders and even religion.
You're all just dancing
on the palm of my hand.
Encounters are followed by farewells.
Thank you for your kind attention.
Show's over.
Don't even think about it.
Otherwise, your kid will cry.
Oh my god.
Jimichi leaked our plan.
Yes, that's the plan.
Mr. Jimichi will rat on us
to lure Kanzaki out.
The real plan begins here.
We'll disguise as Kanzaki's men.
Get out!
This is a fail-safe auto-lock car
from Tanaka Stone.
The windows are bulletproof.
A drill is scheduled that day.
Kanzaki will be arrested
with fake cash.
We take off with the real thing.
He gets fake bills? Terrific!
And by that time,
we'll be in the air.
Will there be real money
during a drill?
Wow Uimichi, you live and
even get a share.
You're lucky I ran over you.
If he falls, we're all done for.
Don't say that, Yukiko.
Timing is the key.
We only have until the drill begins.
We start at 14:45
and only have 7 minutes.
The cops for the drill
will arrive...
We have to be gone by then.
I'll tell you
my 3 Biggest Surprises in Life.
Three? That's a lot.
First, that I proposed to Shoko.
Second, that Shoko said yes.
Bet she regrets it.
And third,
that she thought it was a joke.
Only one truth is needed
between a man and woman.
Yukiko wanted you
to see through her.
I know because I'm Cupid.
Cupid with bad aim.
Lies and the truth are back-to-back.
You see through lies
but you can't see the truth.
You're no good.
No good.
She may be from outer space,
but telepathy won't work.
"You betray us. I'll kill you."
"Maybe I should just do it now."
"Don't say that, Yukiko."
"Calm down."
"Time is finite."
"I know that."
"Don't burden my friends."
"But I'm your friend, too."
If that were true,
a gnat is my benefactor.
You used to be a better man.
Your soul has withered.
This way please, sir.
After you.
Today is the first
anti-crime event.
The Mayor and the Police Chief...
are about to start off on a parade.
Miss Crime Prevention rides along.
If this is a date, I'll pass.
This isn't my private car.
The first lie I ever noticed.
"Be good
and Santa will bring a gift."
My mother said it.
I was about Shinichi's age.
Did you point it out?
No gift for me if I had.
So you were good.
Actually, I was scared...
of hurting her feelings.
If you fear hurting others,
you can't love anybody.
"Make our city the safest
in the world."
are you lucky or unlucky?
I'm not sure.
You're neither. You're just sad.
Kyo, grow up.
Being immature is my policy.
Mr. Uimichi. Did you sleep well?
Uh, yes. I did.
In 420 seconds.
See you again at 14:52.
Let's go!
Where's the romanticism?
It's a bit early, but let's begin.
This is a drill, right?
Sure. Act naturally, please.
The cash for the drill is this way.
but I'd like to use this time
to speak about reality today.
Of all animals, humans depend
heavily on eyesight.
The cash for the drill is here.
Fine. By the way,
is the real cash over here?
Yes. What?
But a swaying scarecrow may look
frightening at night.
And terrified soldiers may not see
the faces of crying children.
People see different truths
depending on their mental state.
In 1973,
astronomer John Ball said...
Um, you can't open the safe.
Do you hear me?
So some of the hatred and sadness
permeating this zoo called Earth...
might be due to falsely believing
our own eyes.
Friends, it is not embarrassing
to doubt what you see.
If you feel hatred or sadness,
close your eyes for a moment.
Encounters are followed by farewells.
The 7 minutes you gave us
is almost up.
Thank you for your kind attention.
Show's over.
Drop your guns!
Drop your guns!
Is that Hayashi?
I thought he died.
Bring the real dough.
Bring it!
Your license please.
Don't move.
Drop the guns!
I push and we all blow up!
Is that true?
Unfortunately, he's not lying.
He's really annoying.
License number 459147398660.
Please refer.
Here's a gift from me, Naruse.
You'll be the first to go!
I've been waiting for this moment
for a long, long time!
You know him?
It's me! Don't you remember?
Oh, you're that dopey banker.
"Dopey" is so immature.
You might have forgotten...
but I never forgot about you
for one single day!
What the hell? Hey, what the...
It's over. Don't be rash.
Please put the gun down.
Heads, I win.
Tails, you lose.
Right, Naruse?
The coin's still turning...
Mr. Kanzaki.
Oh my god.
Kanzaki didn't exist.
No, rather, Jimichi didn't exist.
your powers can only do so much.
Put the gun down.
That's fake.
Let's go.
Hey, you!
We have an emergency!
Pursue the escaping vehicle!
Can't see!
Real robbers have escaped
during the drill.
The police have failed once gain!
"Tanaka Store: Quality Guaranteed"
Arrest him!
How are you guys?
How are you guys?
I'm doing great.
I managed to preserve
the Hikagami Impala Alexandros.
It's endangered,
with only 20 left in the world.
I donated most of the leftover money.
Humans are responsible for
endangered species.
Naru wasn't blown up thanks to me,
so we're even.
I'm leaving the gang...
but I hope you guys make it big.
Goodbye, Adios!
"I'd like to withdraw some money."
"Oh. I saw you in the papers!"
"Good for you. God will bless you."
"I hope so."
Of course. God is always watching.
What? No way! Naru?
Let's go!
Where's the romanticism?
Oh my god.
Don't move!
You there, don't move.
Even with the time difference.
a minute is still 60 seconds.
Now, a man once asked,
"When does a film end?"
Now, a man once asked,
"When does a film end?"
The man who was asked said...
"When the camera moves away and
the star fades from view."
Another man says, "No."
"Wait until the credits start rolling."
"Because some have NG scenes."
"And some even have curtain calls."
So if the credits start and nothing
happens, can you go?
No, watch out.
"What if the villain
is actually still alive?"
"Stay until the lights go up!"
some might say.
I don't know the right answer.
But all films, no matter how fun,
must end.
I say a film is more important
after it ends.
Say you fell in love
with the person next to you?
How about that?
What? No way, you say?
Why not? Try gazing
into each other's eyes.
See? Life is fun
because it's unpredictable.
Things can even come falling
out of the air.
Oh, time's up.
Maybe again next time.
"Damn gang! Go to hell!"
You know, robbing a bank
in Mexico fee is so great!
In films, gangs are shot dead
before crossing the border.
Not romantic.
Gangs should be cheerful.
Where to now?
How about Switzerland?
Where all the bad money is.
Why is bad money pooled there?
Borderless tax evasion.
This is related to Calvin
and the Reformation...
Hey, what about my giraffe question?
Not yet. My apologies.
Still thinking.
What about a giraffe?
Hold on.
Where's the romanticism?
Directed by Tetsu Maeda
Directed by Tetsu Maeda
"Putting a Giraffe in the Fridge"
"1. Open the fridge."
"2. Take the elephant out."
"3. Put the giraffe inside."
"4. Shut the door."