You Hurt My Feelings (2023) Movie Script

CAROLYN: Jonathan... Hello?
(SIGHS) Oh, my God...
What are you
actually looking at?
-I mean,
when I'm talking to you.
What, the rug?
The wall?
What is it? What?
See? When I talk to him
he doesn't look at me.
Is there a reason you're
not looking at Carolyn?
(SIGHS) I thought I was.
What, do you have eyes on
the side of your head?
-This is how I listen.
-Oh... I didn't know.
Okay, this is how
I concentrate, okay?
I mean, how long
have you fucking known me?
-This is how I look. Whatever.
-No, you don't.
Carolyn, maybe if Jonathan
repeats back to you
what you've said, would
that help you to feel heard?
No, I don't need him to repeat
back to me what I just said.
I need him to fucking
look at me.
Look at me.
Turn your head
and look at me.
Oh, it's funny, I guess,
it's really funny.
Is that so hard?
Don't tell me what to do.
And do not point at me, okay?
For some reason he doesn't
like me to point at him.
Yeah, for some reason.
Imagine. Imagine this all day.
Imagine. Hey! Imagine it.
Maybe you should talk
to him about his mother.
Did your mom point at you
when you were a little kid,
is that why?
JONATHAN: My mom has been
dead for less than a week.
You're such
a fucking bitch.
I'm a fucking bitch?
-Did you hear that?
-I'm a fucking bitch.
-Yes. Yeah.
That's what I am.
Me, I'm a bitch.
The one who does everything
for you all the time.
-Don, Don.
-All the time.
-Yeah Don, you fix it.
Fix it. Make it better for
him. He can't do it by himself.
Don. You want to
intervene here?
I mean, we can
do this at home.
Well, both of you know a more
productive way to communicate.
So how about... yeah,
with a little less contempt
and some more
honest feelings.
Okay, here's a more
honest feeling. Um...
We've been coming here
a long time
and nothing changes.
You know what,
Leave him alone
he looks tired.
You do.
I was on my way
to class,
I thought I'd drop by
and say hi. So, hi.
We got in a new strain. You
want to try? Very mellow.
You smoke weed. I work
in a weed store. Take it.
I'm not going to
buy pot from you.
You go to that place
that's a total rip-off.
-I do not.
-You do.
Okay, I don't want to
talk about this.
You can buy it from me.
Oh, no thank you.
Jesus. I just... I hate you're
working here. It's dangerous.
We have security.
Can I have a donut?
Ah... okay, they're for
my students though--
they're for my... student...
-Cool. Thanks, Mom.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
So, how's the writing going?
It's going?
I can't wait.
Yeah, well, don't
get too excited.
I don't know if it's
any good or not.
Are you kidding me?
It's gonna be amazing.
I love you so much.
I got to go, okay?
-I love you. Bye.
Wake up.
-So you're a writer?
You never said.
Well, trying to be.
I know how it is.
I'm an executive producer.
I wanna write about this man
on the street who came up to me
and said that his car had a flat
and that he needed to change
out of his nice clothes
to change the tire.
So he asked me
to stand guard
while he changed out of the nice
clothes so nobody would see him.
-And I--
-That happened to me, too.
-BETH: And how old were you?
I don't understand.
So what?
He took off his pants
and started masturbating
while staring at me.
That's disgusting.
I am horrified
that that happened to you,
Ivy and to you Marielle.
But it's very compelling
to write about something
so personal, for sure.
Billy, do you have anything
you'd like to share?
Oh, yeah. Okay, uh...
So, I knew this girl once
who talked too much.
Uh... It drove me crazy.
And one day,
a bee flew in her mouth
and I thought it
was hysterical
-and just so perfectly poetic.
Uh... I literally thought,
"Thank God! Maybe now
she'll actually shut up."
But then she had
an allergic reaction and died.
Oh, wow.
I didn't see that coming.
That is... That's terrible.
Right there, in front
of you this happened?
Uh, in the hospital.
But it was pretty awful.
And I wanna write
about that day.
Because of the guilt
I have from laughing.
I just felt so terrible.
Well, I think that that
has the potential
to be a very moving story.
What if you want to write
about somebody who's not dead
but it's not very
nice about them.
To tell you the truth,
I say just...
write your heart out
and don't show it to them.
(CHUCKLES) Really, yeah.
Um, what kind of story
were you thinking about, Hal?
Something in a prison.
Oh, all right.
And what about a prison
specifically interests you?
For sure.
Gosh, guys,
what a productive class.
I can't get over we've
got such a good group.
Give yourself a hand.
Yeah, I love it.
I think you're done.
You must be so sick of
reading it.
Not at all, Beth.
It's wonderful, honey, really.
Yeah, but then why the hell
haven't I heard from Sylvia?
Maybe it's bad. Maybe it's
not as good as my memoir.
You wrote a great book.
And believe me,
she's going to call you.
She probably just,
you know,
hasn't read it yet,
that's all.
-Yeah, I'm sure of it
-Wish my memoir did better.
-Why do you think it didn't?
Trust me,
your memoir was great.
Your new book is great.
Okay, she's going to love it.
Oh, it's Eliot.
Should we have invited him?
Honey, it's our anniversary.
-We'll call him back.
-Yeah, right.
Come here.
-Okay, so...
You're a good kisser.
-You always have been.
-Thank you.
-Happy Anniversary.
Well, for goodness sakees.
What do we got here?
-Ooh, a little box.
-Oh, wow!
-You like?
It's so pretty.
-I love them.
-they're leaves.
-Yeah... You know me.
Yeah. They look great.
Yeah. Okay.
Love them.
Happy Anniversary.
Oh, wow. Look at this.
-A V-neck.
-Oh, wow, it is soft.
-It's so soft, right?
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Hey. We're so lucky.
-Yeah. We are.
How can I help you?
I'm just looking
for a sweater.
Maybe you have
a red one?
A red one. Okay, hang
on. Let me just check.
Are you twins?
Twins? Uh, we're sisters.
She's my much,
much older sister,
like 25 years
or something.
BETH: Hey,
what about this one?
Oh, that looks
so adorable on you.
I love the red.
-Thank you.
-Enjoy it.
Don't call old
people adorable.
She was adorable.
No, babies are
adorable, right?
-God, this makes me so sad.
-I know.
Hi. Come on up.
-How can we help you?
-Hey, sweetie.
Do you have some
black pants?
Black pants. Okay, so you look
like you're about a 27 or 28.
Okay, I'll look and see.
And some boots.
Oh, it's only one
item a day.
But you can
come back tomorrow.
Yeah. I can't come back
tomorrow, you stupid shit.
What a shame.
How about these?
Do you like these?
-Yeah, she likes them.
Okay. Bye.
What? Why are you so mean?
She called me
a stupid shit.
This is so rewarding, isn't it?
I know, it's really
great to give back. Hi.
JIM: I don't want
to help him out.
He's never helped me,
so why should I help him?
I imagine your siblings
feel differently,
since they are helping.
I don't know, man, maybe
they're just nicer than me.
They're pissed
I'm not doing anything.
You know, they're
taking him to doctors
and clipping his
fucking toenails.
Jim, we haven't been
working together very long.
But, um, yeah, I'm hoping that
we... we can begin exploring
your relationship
with your father.
You're not listening to me.
My dad was a prick.
Still is.
There's nothing.
I just don't like
everyone else being mad at me.
Me, my brother,
my sister, we're close.
Hmm. Do you know
that they're mad at you?
Yeah, I can tell.
(SIGHS) Anyway,
it doesn't matter,
I'm not gonna change my mind.
So, let them do it
if they want to.
And do they want to?
I don't fucking know.
Okay that... Um, that's
the end of our session.
Um, are the...
I would... I'd like to
continue this next week.
-Sure. Thanks, Don.
-You take care.
(SIGHS) God, he's an idiot.
So, what do you think?
Oh, okay.
Yeah, well, good.
I mean,
that's what I'm here for.
So, any reason
in particular?
It's just,
I don't know. Basic.
Yes. Yeah, well, it is.
It's simple. It's classic.
But it doesn't
really say anything.
Yeah. No, you're right.
It doesn't...
It doesn't say anything.
Wait. What? Wait, I'm sorry.
Oh, this was a bad choice.
Okay, I heard you.
No, I'm, but... I got it. Okay.
I just think you could
work someplace better,
you know, 'cause you're smart.
You've got a degree.
So does everybody else.
He's 23 years old, where
else should he be working?
I just think you could
find something
that's more on par
with your abilities
'cause you're talented, El.
Well, who's to say?
-I say. Yeah.
-I say. We both say.
You guys haven't
even read what I've written.
What? Are you kidding me?
Come on. I know it's
going to be wonderful.
When do you think
it will be finished?
Absolutely no idea.
Can I get a bit more salad?
Yeah. That?
Thank you, honey.
Why don't you guys
get your own food?
We like to share.
Why does that bother you?
How is Alison?
Uh, she's good.
Yeah, I think.
Yeah, she's working a lot.
Sometimes I feel
like she's...
Pulling away.
I don't know.
-Oh, sweetie...
-She's just on me about my job
because there's no way to grow
or make more money.
Maybe you two should see
a therapist together.
We're 23.
Listen, it's...
it's never too early.
Okay, we'll figure it out.
Uh, never mind.
Well, you'd better.
She pays half the rent.
Okay, well, that's not what he
needs to hear right now, Don.
You know, I think I taught
you to ride your bike here.
-Right here?
with the training wheels.
-You remember that?
-Oh, yeah.
I think it was here.
Yeah, that was fun.
You're a good teacher.
-Oh, nice.
-How about that?
-It's good, yeah? Mm-hmm.
-That's really good.
You're sharing
an ice cream cone?
Yeah, you want some?
Uh, no, thank you.
-Try it, it's peanut butter.
-I got to go.
It's... I'm good.
-Thanks for lunch.
-You're welcome.
-See you later.
-Love you.
-Love you, too.
-Yeah, have fun.
-Have a good one.
Here, have some more.
-Don't take the whole thing.
You're gonna fall
asleep, honey.
Fat chance of that.
I'm so nervous.
Look at these things.
I mean... (SCOFFS)
Do humans even live here?
How do you
plug anything in?
Hey, how do I look?
Cute, adorable.
-My hands are so clammy.
-You're gonna do great.
-Go get 'em.
Oh, fuck you.
It's so tiring.
He makes me feel
like I do everything wrong.
Can you give me an example?
He wants me to turn on
the water when I pee,
so he can't hear it
through the door.
Once, I left the door open
and he got mad.
And why does he care?
I hear him pee all the time.
It doesn't bother me.
And he gets annoyed
when I buy him things.
He acts like he doesn't care
about material things,
but he does.
He has an Apple Watch.
And you buy him things
out of love or affection?
-Is that... Yeah.
You know what I bought him?
A beanie,
because he lost his.
He says, I don't listen.
A beanie.
And it was from H&M!
Um, does all this sound at
all familiar to you, Frankie?
I don't think so.
What do you mean?
Well, his behavior reminds me
of someone else in your life.
-Your father.
My father?
Yeah. Do you see
the similarities?
Like his criticism of you?
Not me, must be thinking
of somebody else.
My dad
is the sweetest person.
He's only been
really loving toward me.
Ah, of course.
I apologize. That's...
No, it's okay.
I'm sure you see
so many people.
No, that's-- that's--
that's not okay.
Okay, um...
Let's, uh... Let's go on.
God, whatever happened
to regular coffee shops
with their red booths
and the perfect tuna?
Ooh, did you want
to go somewhere else?
No, but you
know what I mean.
You know, with the the filthy
menus and the mean people.
Well, I really like it here.
There's a real one
left on Madison.
Actually, I used to go there
when I went to the doctor.
But then my doctor died,
so I don't go there anymore.
Isn't that a weird thing,
when your doctor dies?
So, how's Eliot?
-How old is he now?
-He's 23.
Yeah, he's working
in a pot store.
-He's the manager.
-Well, that's very legit.
Uh, he's...
he's working on a play.
Oh, he's a writer?
Well, it's his first.
I haven't read it yet, though.
-Well, that's a brave move.
Having a successful writer
as your mother.
Speaking of which...
Okay, so I'll start by saying
what you already know.
I love your work,
and the book is good.
-Of course,
I-- I just don't feel
it's as strong as your memoir.
Okay, but it's a different thing
'cause it's a work of fiction.
Look, it's rough out there.
There's a lot of competition,
a lot of stories to tell,
lots of new voices.
Mm, I'm an old voice.
No, you're competing
with writers of all ethnicities,
refugees, cancer,
murder, abuse.
-I had abuse.
-Verbal abuse.
It was still abuse.
Of course, it was. And you
wrote about it beautifully.
-Thank you. Yeah.
Look, it's your first
work of fiction.
Why not try another draft?
She said I wasn't
a new voice.
-You're the best voice.
-(SCOFFS) An old voice.
I'm not that old.
Didn't you say that, uh...
that other agent was chasing
you a while ago?
-Oh, yeah. Vince something.
Yeah, well...
Send it to him.
Yeah, I guess I will.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
This looks better.
Only less tired.
Less tired and horrifying,
Well, you know,
women do it all the time.
It's such a double standard.
I... (SIGHS)
I look tired.
I'm... I'm aging.
What are ya, nuts?
Well, you get Botox.
Well, I just get
a little bit right here.
You know, I can still move
my eyebrows. Watch, watch.
-Oh, yeah, so expressive.
Since when are you so vain?
I don't know, I was...
I was young and hot.
Well, you're still
younger than me.
BETH: She's doing
a lot better I think.
I don't know about that.
BETH: Okay
try hard, all right.
Let's just have it
be nice today.
SARAH: I'll be nice.
You be nice.
-BETH: We'll both be nice.
-BETH: Mama!
Hi. How are you?
I'm good, how are you?
BETH: Okay.
-Hi, Ma.
Good to see ya.
And you.
BETH: Ooh, this looks so yummy.
-A little spread.
Oh, you look cute.
I'm not cute.
I'm a mature woman.
-SARAH: It was a compliment.
-When did you see Beetlejuice?
What beetle?
The, the, the show.
What is that?
BETH: It's a Playbill.
From Beetlejuice?
I didn't see that show.
SARAH: Does she want you
to keep working at it or what?
I don't know, maybe... No.
She doesn't get you.
You need someone
who gets you.
Well, she used to get me.
Did she?
She didn't help when
it came to your memoir.
What do you mean?
-She got it published.
-It could have done better.
First of all, (CHUCKLES)
that's not her job.
And second of all,
it did okay, you know.
It did better than okay.
-BETH: Yeah.
-It should have done better.
Well, maybe if Dad hadn't
just been verbally abusive,
it would've been
a bestseller.
What is the
matter with you?
Don't say that.
Why don't you grow up?
Anyway. Look, I'm sending the
new book to another agent, so.
Okay, so what have
you been up to, Mom?
Physical therapy.
-No. TCM.
Why would it be called
The Channel Movie?
It's The Movie Channel.
Turner Classic Movies.
-No kidding?
-BETH: Mm-hmm...
Yep. True story.
Oh. I meant TMZ.
(SCOFFS) No, you didn't.
I don't fucking know.
There's so many channels.
Oh, hey, Mom, while we're here,
do you have any
good giveaways for us?
You always ask me that.
Yes, because we volunteer
at the church.
I don't know if
I have anything.
Well, do you think
you could check?
-I'm standing up.
You shouldn't volunteer,
you both spread
yourselves too thin.
Why don't you volunteer
and do things for me?
You're fine.
-I'm not fine.
Is she jealous of the homeless?
Yeah, she is, because they got
everything going for them,
so I suppose so.
Oh, yeah.
-That might work.
-All right, so...
Yeah, that's good.
But I don't know if
anybody would want it,
because it's an awful color.
BETH: No, this is good.
-And here's this.
BETH: Yes.
Somebody will love this.
-SARAH: Cute.
I changed my mind about
this one, forget it.
-No, this is too nice.
-What are you talking about?
Why'd you bring it out? How
many times have you worn it?
Maybe once. But it's good,
not for the homeless.
Well, they appreciate
nice stuff, you know.
-SARAH: Mm-hmm.
-Here, fine take it.
-Give it to the homeless.
-BETH: Great.
-Hey, Ma.
This potato salad is so good.
Can I take some of it
home with me?
Oh, please. I have
plenty, I have too much.
Take some tin foil.
That... I was gonna just
put it in one of these things.
You got, like,
3,000 of them.
No, no,
just wrap it in tin foil.
SARAH: Aw, that's hilarious.
I'm not going
to put potato salad...
In tin foil, Mom.
That is just...
That's totally gross.
It's crazy.
You cannot be
that crazy lady.
I'm not a crazy lady.
And I'm not a lady.
None of us are ladies.
We are women
and this is my house.
And don't take
the potato salad.
I'm saving it for tomorrow.
Sounds good.
BETH: Is lunch over?
The part is kind
of strange actually.
-It's interesting.
It's interesting... I can't even
believe I got this part, really.
I'm just ready to get started,
you know. I'm a little...
-I'm a little nervous.
-So, when are they?
-Rehearsals start tomorrow.
Okay, straight in.
And you know, I think it's
going to be a real challenge
because all the other...
Everyone else is, like, an
established theater actor.
You know, and I'm a little...
Anyway I'm just nervous.
-Anyway, how are you?
-Any new crazies?
No new ones, no.
I don't know.
I'm feeling kind of
off my game.
Oh, really.
What do you mean?
I don't know...
my crazies are fine.
Actually, I shouldn't call
them that. Do you mind if...
-No. Of course.
Oh, before I forget, Sarah is
throwing me a birthday dinner.
-We need you guys there.
-How old are you?
-I don't know.
I'll take Mom over going sock
shopping with Mark any day.
He's going to be
in Paragon
-for, like, three hours.
I think he got Don
to go with him.
That's too funny. Mark
cares that much about socks?
-He does. Yeah.
Should I be buying
better socks?
Well, you know, he can
talk to you all about it.
About how the cheap ones
are very different
from the good ones,
and he's always getting rid
of old ones to buy new ones.
He even throws
away his underwear.
-Well, don't you?
I'm gonna take you over to
the wall. I call it the wall.
It's got everything that you
need. Every texture, every idea.
-STEVE: Hey!
Didn't I see you
in that pumpkin movie?
-Hey, how are you?
-Such a funny movie.
Aw, thank you,
thank you.
You want to do a selfie?
Oh, uh, that's okay.
-Thanks, though.
-This is my life.
-Er, what pumpkin movie?
It's this movie I did about
10 years ago.
Did you play a pumpkin?
No, that was the lead.
BETH: I wish I got the dip.
SARAH: Let's go to Paragon.
I bet they're still in there.
BETH: What?
No way. How many socks
do they have in there?
SARAH: You'll see.
I'm telling ya.
I'm not rushing.
Me neither.
BETH: That wasn't worth it.
We're finished.
-He cares.
-Oh, You know what?
When Eliot was 16, he stole
something from here once.
He got in really
big trouble too.
Oh, of course he did.
-Ping pong balls.
-Those are extremely expensive.
(GASPS) Look.
BETH: You were right.
SARAH: I wonder if they've
even moved.
SARAH: Do you think they're
BETH: More like frozen.
BETH: No. Look,
one of them moved.
-We'll go sneak up on them.
DON: You think?
If I say even the slightest
thing, she falls apart.
MARK: I thought that
you liked her writing.
I do, generally, but I...
I don't like this new book.
And this is a memoir?
No, no, she's, uh...
she's written a novel.
It's fiction.
It's kind of a...
kind of a mystery.
Yeah, I don't know. I
don't know what it is.
We should go, Beth.
I just feel stuck, and I
just... I don't know what to do.
Does that make sense?
I don't know.
Oh, shit, man. Can you
say anything?
No, I can't.
I can't. I could have,
maybe should have,
you know, like, second,
third, twentieth read.
-MARK: Twentieth read?
-Yeah. Yeah.
Draft after draft after draft,
she was asking for notes
and I didn't know how to.
And now it feels too late.
-And it's no good?
-Not to me.
Oh, my God!
-Wait, Beth, Beth...
-Oh, my God!
I think they were talking
about something else.
I can't believe this.
No, I mean, maybe we
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, no, you are?
Yeah. I think I'm
gonna throw up.
Okay, wait, right over there--
Right there is a...
Oh, God, right here?
-Oh, God. Oh!
No, I don't think I can.
I can't.
He loves you more
than life itself.
What does that have to do
with anything here?
I'm saying that he doesn't
love your book, okay?
He doesn't love your book,
I mean, who cares?
Do you understand
I've been working on this book
-for two years, right?
I've given him, like,
a million drafts to read,
and every time he reads it,
every single time,
he tells me
how much he loves it.
Every single time!
Because he just doesn't like,
you know,
get it or whatever.
And now
my hands have gone numb.
-Yeah, take a...
-For real.
Okay, can you take
a deep breath?
I am breathing, Sarah.
All right, would you just...
You're going to talk to him.
Well, that's a joke.
I am never gonna be able to
look him in the face ever again.
Okay, that's over.
And I did some things
that are good.
I mean, I won that thing
for the piece
in the Atlantic.
That was...
that was really good.
And all the articles
and all the essays,
you know, I mean, he probably
thinks it's just crazy
that I even teach,
you know.
Oh God,
what about my memoir?
He probably thinks it's bad.
Oh, my God,
this whole time...
It's about you,
how could he think that?
How could he possibly
respect me?
-Of course, he respects you.
No, not if he doesn't
like my work.
You know that.
He's probably been lying
to me this whole time.
-No, there's just no way.
-He's a liar.
What a prick, too.
You know, that he doesn't
think that I could take it.
Like, that alone
is so insulting.
Beth, he loves you, even if
he doesn't like your book.
I just need his approval.
-Of all people.
-Well, let me read it.
Uh, it's okay.
You don't read.
Am I in it?
You know what?
Like, Mark
isn't always great, okay?
I mean, as an actor,
it kind of depends on the role.
Why are you whispering?
Is he hiding under the couch?
I'm just saying he's not
always good, you know,
and I think that's kind of
the same thing.
But sometimes
you think he's good.
Yeah, definitely.
So, the times when you
don't think he's good,
-what do you say to him?
-That he's good.
Well, what if he found out
that you were lying?
He'd croak.
Well, I want to croak.
You gonna be okay?
-No, never.
Just out of my mind.
All right, well,
I'll call you later.
-You going home now?
Talk to him.
-I love you.
I think there's a way
to tell if they've gone bad.
Hmm, there is.
You put them in water
and you see if they float.
Does that mean they're good
or they're bad?
Bad, I think.
I'm not sure.
Let me look it up.
No, don't look it up now.
I'll just throw them out.
You're always looking things up.
Excuse me for a second,
I'm sorry for the interruption,
but I was just wondering,
what do you do two...
What do you two
do for a living?
-I don't know.
I was just kind of curious.
You look like you do
interesting things or something.
Um, I'm a flower designer
and she's a painter.
Okay, cool. Yeah.
And so, do you like
your friend's paintings?
Well, she's my wife.
-And yes.
-Mm-hmm, okay.
And do you...
you like her...
I mean, your wife's
flower designs.
(LAUGHS) Why are you asking
all these questions?
Aren't you going
to answer her?
Uh, yes, my wife's floral
arrangements are nice.
She always says
they're too controlled.
No, no, they're not always.
You know nice
is not a nice word.
WOMAN 1: Well, you've called my
paintings pleasing.
-That's worse.
-WOMAN 2: Never have I ever
used that word
to describe your work.
WOMAN 1: No, you just
used it last week.
Shit for brains.
Shit for brains.
(WHISPERING) Shit for brains.
Shit for brains.
Shit for brains.
Shit for brains.
Oh, fuck.
Shit for brains.
Are you kidding me?
Every word.
Why would you do that?
What? We just...
We were just playing around.
We came in to say hi.
Wait, does Don know?
I don't know.
But you can't
say anything, okay?
Oh, my God, she was so hurt
and she was so embarrassed
and I don't blame her one bit.
I mean,
she almost threw up.
It was like that scene
from An Unmarried Woman.
Never mind.
Would you ever lie to me?
About something like
that, I mean.
Like what?
Like, about my designs
or my taste.
I love your taste.
Thank you.
Eliot, what are
you doing here?
Honey, what's wrong?
Alison broke up with me.
(GASPS) Oh! Come here.
What happened?
I noticed she was getting
kind of distant,
but I didn't think this was
fucking going to happen.
-BETH: Oh.
-I had no idea.
What a cunt!
Eliot, maybe don't say cunt.
She must have been unhappy,
I guess.
You're on her side?
What? No. I just...
I mean,
there must have been a reason.
Anyway, you know,
I'm sure you guys are going
to be able to work this out.
I know you liked her.
I did. I do, you know.
But why, honey?
I mean, did she tell you?
-She slept with someone else.
Oh, wow, honey.
Total cunt.
Oh, really?
He called her that first.
El, I'm so sorry.
That's really tough.
You know, affairs happen.
You know,
you guys can get past this.
Affairs don't happen.
You guys don't have affairs.
No, but I'm just saying,
you know...
And you trust each other,
-Of course.
Why aren't you guys
more upset for me?
-We are.
-Yeah, we are.
I'm gonna crash in my old room,
if that's all right.
DON: El...
Honey, I'm sure that
you're a good boyfriend.
Well, maybe I'm not.
Maybe she's right.
She cheated on you.
Well, she--
she said she didn't want to.
She felt lonely.
What? No, Eliot,
that's not right.
If she's blaming you
for her cheating...
-She's not.
-She is.
That's what you just said.
Okay, I have
to go to sleep.
Somehow, you're making me
feel worse.
Maybe it's a career thing,
you know,
'cause she's cut
from a different cloth.
She's on this very ambitious
track to become a lawyer.
So, now it's because
I'm a loser.
Oh, my God, Eliot.
Are you kidding me?
I'm trying to help you
to feel better.
-I give up.
-Yeah. Good idea.
Wait, Mom.
Do we have bagels?
Uh, I don't know.
I'll check.
Okay. Uh...
What's going on?
What do you mean?
Why did you sleep on the couch?
Are you mad at me?
I just couldn't sleep.
You, uh... Are you upset
about Sylvia?
You, uh... Did you send it
to that, uh...
That other agent guy?
I'm fine, okay?
I think she's right.
-The book is bad.
-Sylvia has bad taste.
Just... Just send it
to the other guy.
Just don't.
Don't what?
Pretend you liked the book.
You know, Beth this is
getting kind of tedious.
Yeah, I agree with that.
Do you like the book?
Because, you know,
that is all that matters.
Well, that's a new take.
-Good morning.
I'm late for class.
I'll see you later.
I love you.
What's wrong with Mom?
DON: Honestly, sometimes
I look at some of them
and I just think... I don't know
how to help you.
I mix up their problems.
Wait, what do you mean?
No, don't laugh,
sometimes I forget.
Like... Are you the one
with the dead mother?
And I can't ask because
I should know.
-And I do know.
-But I'm just mixing them up.
-You are old.
You need to write
that shit down.
No. But I was never like this.
How are... how are things
with you and Beth?
Huh, why?
Yeah. I don't know I just...
She's acting sort
of cold and weird.
Did she say anything to Sarah?
-No, no. I don't know anything.
I just... She didn't say
why or anything?
No, but it's something.
I hate that place, but he
loves it. So we go once a year.
It's okay,
and we get along pretty
well when we're on vacation.
That's great.
Why do you think that is?
Well, we're on vacation.
Um, well, a lot
of couples fight on vacation.
We don't.
Sure. Um.
So, um, yeah,
we're almost out of time.
But I... um, I wanted
to ask you something.
Yeah, I guess I just
wanted to check that you're...
You're getting what
you want out of these sessions.
Why are you asking me that?
I'm just, you know,
checking in.
Uh, I'm okay.
Um, I mean, the only
real problem these days
is with my brother and sister.
They're, you know, with my dad.
They're not
really talking to me.
But I'm not
going to feel guilty.
Uh, do you feel guilty?
I just said no.
Well, um, we'll be sure
to pick that up next week.
Yeah, we...
We have to stop now.
Okay, take care.
JIM: Fucking pointless.
"Her hands were cold,
"despite the hot, stagnant air
in the ugly room.
"Visiting hours
were coming to a close.
"Dads were saying goodbye
to their kids.
"Evelyn waited a long time for
him to appear,
"but he never did.
"He never would."
God, that is really
a surprise...
Just impressive.
I mean, that was lovely.
It's just a fantastic
first draft.
I said I wanted
to write about prison.
Yeah, you did say that.
That was so sad.
I liked it, too.
After everybody has read theirs,
we'll dive deeper into it.
But bravo, Hal, bravo!
Um, so who would like
to read their story next?
I changed my mind
about what I was going to write.
So, I haven't
written anything yet.
-I was writing about that
gross, naked man
and it was bumming me out.
So, I think I'm going
to write about this trip
I took to the zoo
when I was eight.
Okay, was that a happy trip?
So, we were looking at the
monkeys, me and my mom.
And one of them was looking me
right in the eye
like he hated me,
like he was going to jump
out of the cage and kill me.
Then I had
a really bad nosebleed,
so my mom had
to take me home.
Ah, so... No, not a--
Not a happy trip.
Sometimes you just have
to get it out though, right?
Yeah. I mean, the title of
my book says that exactly.
What title?
-I Had To Tell It.
-You had to tell it?
-No, no, "I Had To".
-You had to tell it.
Oh, no, the title of the
book is I Had To Tell It.
Has nobody in here
read my book?
I didn't know about it.
I can't imagine that
you would have
trusted me to be your teacher
if you weren't familiar
with my work.
I saw that you were
published and that you
wrote a lot of articles.
I just signed up.
What's it about?
It's about my childhood.
It's a memoir.
Oh, I read this other memoir
that was really killer.
Which one?
Please And No Thank You.
I love that book.
I also love that.
Oh, I got to read that.
But I will definitely
be reading yours.
-Me, too.
-I'm gonna read that.
-Definitely gonna read that.
I Had To Tell?
It. I Had To Tell It.
I Had To Tell It, yeah.
Yeah, write that one down.
Oh, my God, because I keep
telling you, I don't want them.
That's because you eat so
shitty, especially at work.
No, it's... Okay, so,
she makes me salads
to take to work
in these dumb little
-Tupperware things, but
-They're not dumb.
-the reason...
-They're recyclable.
Just put it in a fucking baggy.
-It doesn't matter.
Can you shut up
and keep talking?
So, the only reason
she makes me a salad
is because she wants me
to lose weight,
-which is passive aggressive.
No, that is not true. The
reason that I make the salads
is because I want you
to be healthy.
So, here's how it goes.
I make him a salad, right?
But then he takes it to work,
and he puts mozzarella
sticks on top of the salad,
and then guess what?
He doesn't eat the salad.
Who told you that?
You know who told me that.
-Thanks, Naomi.
-Naomi told me that.
You know,
I don't think you have any idea
how hard I have to work
to stay healthy.
For you.
For me? Right.
Okay, I'm sorry.
How healthy is, "Oh, excuse me,
waiter, could we get another
round of skinny margaritas?"
What is this?
What accent is that?
-What? Where?
-It's Naomi.
Naomi's from New Zealand.
-That's not New Zealand.
I think you don't like women.
I like women.
I do. I like women.
I just don't like you.
Okay, no problem.
You saw a picture
of this one though, right?
You can't really tell
in a picture.
Okay. Um...
No problem,
because I have one more.
Excuse me.
How much is this one?
Oh, my God.
Isn't it beautiful?
This piece,
which is one of a kind...
-Yeah, I would assume it is. $19,000.
-Oh, thank you so much.
Beth, shut up.
-This is what I do.
You can't insult these people.
Not even comfortable.
A long bench costs
this much?
Oh, wake up.
Hey, look at these lights.
I would never buy this bench,
no matter what.
-What do you think?
Yeah, it's cool.
I mean, it looks like
it's fucking itself,
but she'll probably love it.
Are you planning
to come tomorrow night?
Yeah, really... I-- I don't
think I can, I'm sorry.
Can you get your feet
off the couch?
What's the matter with you?
Why haven't you
talked to him yet?
I mean, I just...
Honestly, I can't bear the
thought of his response.
Okay, well just
come-- you know,
drink a lot, have
a lot of wine.
Try to act normal.
You need to go home and you
need to talk to him already.
Why are you eating?
-Stand up!
I want to kill you.
Get off this couch!
You're making crumbs
Oh. Hi, honey.
What? Wait, hold on.
What's wrong?
What do you mean?
Are you okay?
Okay, okay. But can you
just tell me right now?
Is it bad?
-God, he's crying.
-Oh, no, why? What happened?
-I don't know.
He says he's fine,
but he said he needs me
to come home right now.
Okay. All right.
I got to go. Let's go.
Come on, let's go.
I'm good here.
Get up!
Mark, honey,
what happened?
You got me scared to death.
What's going on?
I was fired.
Oh, you were?
I just want to
disappear right now.
What happened?
I don't even know,
-I thought it was going well.
I thought the director
liked me, at least
-she said that she did.
And then after rehearsal,
she's like,
"Can I talk to you
for a second?"
Takes me outside in front of
says, "Grab your stuff."
-That is so cruel.
And she's like, "You're
not quite getting this role
"and you're going
to be replaced."
How awful.
I bet you the other actors
told her to fire me.
Oh, well, fuck them.
-Fuck them all.
Yeah, I hope
their fucking play
-takes a big fat fucking shit.
It's going to be
a huge flop, you know it.
God, it's not your fault.
I mean, it is my fault.
No, you've never
been fired before.
And, you know,
every actor has been fired
at least once, anyway.
I got fired
from the Disney movie.
Oh... right.
Do you remember the hat?
The hat.
I am so embarrassed.
I want to die.
Oh, my God, my birthday.
-No birthday party, okay, baby?
No birthday. No nothing.
-No one here, okay?
No birthday.
-Honey? Honey?
The jiggling.
-The whole table's shaking.
Yeah, because my leg
is shaking.
I can't stop my leg.
You want salad?
Hey, so, I heard
you got a part in a play.
-What's the part?
What? What's the matter?
He was fired.
-Oh, shit!
-Oh, my God.
Oh, we're so sorry Mark.
That's awful.
Yeah, I'm done
with acting, anyway.
No, you're not.
Honey, it's one play.
It's going to be a bomb.
Yeah, we'll hope for that.
And besides, you can't quit
because I want to retire.
You're getting all
this business now.
I hate people.
I don't want to decorate
their ugly houses anymore,
so meaningless.
It's like the whole
planet is melting
and I'm just out shopping
for cashmere walls.
Is that a real thing, Sarah?
Yeah, it is. It's real.
Oh, dear God.
DON: You okay?
-No, I don't want that.
-Are we dead yet?
You carry around Tums
in your bag.
Oh, I carry Tums.
I got Gas-X, I got, um...
I got stool softener.
I got... ooh, I got Xanax,
of course.
Does anyone want one?
Does everyone want one?
Maybe I'll just stop writing,
you know?
I mean, I think, actually,
it would be kind of a relief.
Come on, Beth.
Your agent didn't
get your book.
It's not a reason to
retire, like, her agent...
I just don't... I just
don't think she's that good.
-You have a great career.
-Thank you.
You know, it's okay, Don.
Honestly, you don't
have to keep
trying to make me
feel better, okay?
Because I know
it's super tedious for you.
Uh, okay, you got it. Done.
No, actually, you know what?
Okay, that's not very nice.
It's... It's hurtful.
What you just did.
I'm sorry, are you
saying that you're hurt?
Yeah, don't...
Don't take it out on me.
Take what out on you?
-Your frustration.
-This is a Greek olive oil.
I just... You know what?
I just don't need you
to lie to me anymore.
Lie to you?
-God, will you just stop?
You know, you're behaving
like a child.
I heard you talking.
I heard you
talking to Mark.
What are you talking about?
Sarah and I came in to say hi.
And we overheard you guys.
What? You spied
on us. What?
What? No. I mean, it was just
for, like, a second for fun.
-We heard you talking.
-About what?
About my work.
Okay, hang on. Is it...
That's what all this
has been about?
That's what all of this,
all of this, has been about.
That's exactly right.
I heard...
I heard everything
that you said.
Okay, like, like, what?
Like, that you hate
my new book.
Okay, I did not say that.
-Are you kidding?
Are you going
to gaslight me now?
That's what it feels like.
-If... if I did...
-Well, you did.
But you took it out of context.
-Oh no, I just...
-I can't even handle this.
-wait, okay,
so that's what
I was wondering.
All right, Mark,
please forgive me.
You deserve to have
a really nice dinner.
And, um, I'm sorry that you
were fired from your job.
-And happy birthday.
-DON: Beth.
-Thank you.
I'm, um...
I'm so sorry. Um...
-I should, um... I should...
-MARK: Yeah. Yeah.
DON: Beth.
-Just leave me alone.
No, let me explain.
No, you...
You explained already, okay?
You were pretty clear.
Listen, whatever you heard
it is not what I meant.
You're allowed
to feel how you feel.
You really are.
It's just that I don't think
that I can ever
trust you again.
Baby, it's not what I think.
Like, you lied
right to my face.
-Like, a thousand times.
-No, it's not.
-It's not lying. It's not...
If that's not lying,
I don't know what is lying.
It's not a real lie,
it's knowing
that it's just my opinion,
and I'm probably wrong, okay?
I-- I didn't want
to discourage you.
What do I know?
I wanted...
I wanted to support you,
you know, whether I liked
it or not, okay?
Who cares what I think?
It... It's my work.
And I care.
You know how much I care.
You know how much
I respect your opinion.
-Hey, come here.
I love you.
Oh, okay, well, then never mind.
My God.
DON: (COUGHS) Hi, you two.
So, how...
How are you doing?
Well, we've been talking
about it and, you know,
we've been coming here
for two years,
and as I've said,
many times before...
We don't feel
like you're, uh, helping us.
Oh, I'm, I'm sorry
you feel that way.
I really am. Uh,
I care about you both.
-Very much.
Can I ask you a question?
Of course.
Why don't you
ever empty your trash can?
Every week,
I come in here and notice it.
And you never empty it.
Um, why,
why do you think it bothers you?
Why don't you empty
your trash can?
I... I empty it when it's full.
That's not full?
See, I think you
keep it that way
as, like, a little brag.
You know,
so everybody who walks in
here sees it and they're like,
"Wow, there must be a lot
of crying going on in here."
Let's figure out how I can
better help the two of you.
We decided we don't want
to see you anymore.
Well, I think we need
to talk about that.
There's nothing to talk about.
We've already talked about it.
Yeah, we're not
going to discuss it.
-But we did want to tell you.
Well, I'm...
I'm really sorry to hear this.
If you want to see someone
else, I'm happy to recommend...
No, no. We don't want to
see another therapist.
We've seen too many therapists.
No, uh, we want
our money back.
-I'm sorry?
-We want our money back.
Um, I don't understand.
From whom?
Oh, well,
we were thinking
Bill Gates might give us
the money... You!
Look, we've been coming here
for two years, okay?
And in that two years,
we added it up.
We have spent
nearly $33,000 on you.
I see. Okay.
Yes, and because, uh, nothing
has really changed between us,
we...we feel, and this might be
the one thing we do agree on,
uh, that we are entitled
to a refund.
Going into therapy
doesn't have a guarantee.
It's not like that.
Yeah, well,
it should be, okay?
because we're... we're
barely hanging on here, okay?
And you don't help.
Nobody helps.
I try to do my best, Jonathan,
but honestly, I can't be the
one to solve your problems.
Well, then why
are we coming here?
You... You have to solve
your own problems.
And I'm here
to help you do that.
And I understand.
Like, it takes--
it can take...
you know,
a long time,
sometimes, to
make real progress.
-How long?
it takes as long
as it takes.
That's not a real answer.
We're... We're not
kidding around here.
And listen,
if you need to pay by
installments, that's fine.
We're totally cool
with that.
So, let me get this,
you, you're angry because you
guys-- you just fight in here.
And I don't help.
I don't tell you how to fix
things, and, you know...
-You don't.
And you've been married,
how long?
-Nine years.
-Ten years.
Ten years.
Have you ever considered,
uh, ending your marriage?
I'm going to tell you something
that I think probably
is worth your money,
and I feel like it is my job
as your therapist.
I think you need
to consider separating.
You want to stop therapy?
Get a divorce.
What the fuck, Don? You
can't say shit like that.
How dare you.
DON: Honestly,
from what I've seen,
there's nothing left
between you.
I'm-- I'm doing you
a favor by saying this.
You really think that?
Don't listen to him.
Yeah, that's exactly
what I think.
I don't want a divorce.
Ah, fuck it.
Come on, Carolyn. Let's go.
Oh, by the way, Doctor,
we're not paying
for this session.
VINCE: Such a bold opening,
I would barely touch it.
Of course, I have a few
ideas and a few notes,
but they're tiny.
They're really, really tiny.
I'm thrilled
that you like it.
And, of course, I
loved your memoir.
-I mean,
people don't know
how damaging verbal abuse is.
Oh, yeah, so true.
Thank you. Thank you.
I mean, how do you
recover from being called
stupid your entire life?
Yeah, well, I don't--
I don't know if
one does
recover from that,
in fact, yeah.
What was that other thing
he used to call you, um...
Oh, yeah,
shit for brains.
Yeah. No, that was a good one.
Shit for brains.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
-That's fucked.
Anyway, let's do this.
Okay, great. I'm pumped.
I'm glad you're pumped.
I'm pumped
that you're pumped.
Thank you.
Oh, my God,
this is so perfect.
-I love it so much.
I'm so happy.
I mean, I've never seen
anything like it.
-Thank you so much.
Oh, you're welcome.
I envy you.
Must be so gratifying
when you find the right piece
and everyone's happy, right?
Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm
just so glad it worked out.
It's so perfect.
It's really a good one.
One of a kind.
What is all this? (LAUGHS)
-Oh, my God.
Those are very special
for wicking.
Oh, I love wicking.
These are gonna keep you,
-very warm...
...if...if you are cold,
but you won't get sweaty.
And unlike these,
which are specifically
for if you like to sweat.
-And... and it's also vegan
so you can eat them.
And then these
are made from pork,
but these
are from eyelashes.
Perfect. You're the best.
I'm done with acting.
I am.
The profession's ridiculous.
I'm tired of wanting validation
and never getting it.
I'm old.
I just can't do it anymore.
If you don't love it,
don't do it.
Aren't you going to tell me
I shouldn't quit?
You shouldn't quit.
Why not?
Because you're so good.
Well, I'm still quitting.
Who gives a shit, really?
I thought I loved it.
I don't.
I think I just wanted
to become famous.
ELIOT: She used to look at me
like, "Are you done yet?"
Now, what if I can't write?
I mean, what, I'm going to work
in a pot store my whole life?
Why don't you
let us read it?
It's not done yet. (SIGHS)
If I'm ever done,
I will let you read it.
But right now,
just getting to the end
is going to feel like
a huge accomplishment.
Honey, because it is
a huge accomplishment.
I bet it's going
to be terrific.
You don't know that.
It might stink.
Yeah, yeah, it'll
probably stink. (CHUCKLES)
Why do you do that?
-Do what?
-You haven't read it.
Just let it be shitty
if it's shitty.
Hey, what's going on with you?
What-- What is this?
You're always expecting
the best from me.
You're welcome?
Do you remember when you
said I was a great swimmer
and you enrolled me
in that advanced class?
-Oh, boy.
-I wasn't a great swimmer.
I kept telling you that.
I was average.
My teacher even said
I should take a beginner class.
-She did?
it was-- it was mortifying.
But worse than that,
I didn't know who to believe.
I knew that I wasn't good,
but my mom was saying I was.
So, was I good?
Or is my mom a liar?
Well, why did I think
you were good?
You didn't.
You wanted me to think I was.
Maybe I thought you
could be good
and I was just
being encouraging.
Then it's like
you set me up to fail.
Really? Okay.
Jeez, I'm sorry.
That's enough blaming.
-El, c'mon.
-No, it's fine. Okay?
He should tell us these things.
I want to hear this.
Middle school.
Remember my English teacher,
-Mr. Saap?
He gave me a C
on some paper I wrote,
and I came home and I said
I worked really hard on it.
I deserve better.
Okay. I don't remember this,
but okay.
Well, you said, "Well, if you
worked really hard on it,
"then you should've gotten
a better grade."
So you went to the guy and
convinced him to give me a B.
And the crime here
is what exactly?
I didn't deserve the B.
I deserved the C.
But I didn't want you
to know that.
Hang on a second, Eliot.
Come on.
You told me you deserved
a better grade, right?
And I believed you.
So, actually, in this case,
you were setting
me up, right, honey?
Mom, I was a child.
I wasn't a good swimmer.
I wasn't a good student.
Eliot, she was trying
to be supportive.
It's what parents do.
They try to support their kids.
But then I grew up with this...
with this strange feeling,
like I'm better
than everyone else.
Like I was looking at myself
through your eyes.
And then suddenly I realized
I'm not the things you say I am.
Oh, sweetie pie.
I honestly think you did those
things because you felt guilty.
Feel guilty.
For what?
Because you guys care about
each other more than me.
Eliot, how can you
possibly think that?
That is so not true.
I care about you
more than anything.
Then why do I always feel
like a third fucking wheel?
-Oh, honey.
I just, I need some space.
Oh, wow.
-After that?
-After what?
Eliot just accused you
of fucking him up
because you didn't
treat him honestly.
And you're mad at me, for
doing exactly the same thing.
I wasn't lying.
I was encouraging.
I wasn't lying.
-I was encouraging.
-That's not true.
You were lying
to be encouraging.
No, supporting you
felt more important.
I'm not a child.
Eliot was a child!
I didn't want him to feel
like I felt growing up.
Well, I know, but you're...
You're not your father.
Well, my mother. Okay?
Okay. Yeah,
maybe a little.
I just really wanted
you to like it.
I know.
Honestly, I don't care
if I like your book.
That's not why
I love you, Beth.
You're not your book.
Do you love Eliot because he
might write a fantastic play?
-No, Don. I but...
-I have to say this. I'm sorry.
You know,
this whole world
is falling apart
and this is
what's consuming you?
No. I know the whole world
is falling apart.
Of course I know that.
But this is my world.
My small little
narcissistic world
and... you know, I'm hurt.
Sorry. I trusted you.
I trust you.
Honey, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. I...
Beth, haven't you
ever lied to me?
Like, I don't know
told me a white lie or...
-Well, yeah, I bet...
-Yeah, and...
It didn't make you...
Did it make you love me less?
Or, or lose respect for me?
No, it... This is not
the same thing at all.
They just-- These were small
things, you know, like...
There's no comparison.
Really honestly, it's not like
your career, your work, or...
But like what?
Um... I don't know...
You bought me things
that I pretended to like.
I mean nothing.
Oh, really?
Well, what things?
Oh, which ones?
All of them?
You're kidding me.
What? What... (CHUCKLES)
What, why didn't
you tell me? What...
I did. I said I wanted
these leaf earrings,
and then you kept...
buying me all of these
leaf earrings.
But I've... I've seen
you wearing them.
Of course,
to, to make you happy.
To please you.
No, you know what?
You've given me things
that I don't like.
-Oh. The wok?
The last V-neck
sweater you bought me?
It's like the third one.
Who doesn't like
a cashmere sweater?
It's a V-neck. No man wants a
V-neck we have nothing to show.
What in the living hell are
you talking about?
I don't have any cleavage,
why would I wear a V-neck?
No, I'm serious.
Don, a V-neck
goes like this,
And cleavage is like this.
Still, I just... I don't think I
should be like showing my chest.
I mean, I'm not, like,
on a yacht in the wind.
-You know I don't...
-Oh, my God.
-You know what else?
You've always told me
what a great shrink I am.
-You have no idea.
-Like, I might suck.
In fact, I do suck.
-No, that's not possible.
-No, it's very, very possible.
Oh, really?
-You want to tell me about it?
It's okay, and not now.
we gonna do about our boy?
I don't know.
Maybe you are
a bad shrink.
So, that other agent
wants to represent my book.
Which one?
Are they any good?
-Oh, I hope so.
-Tim Wilson.
Oh, just make sure
they do a better job with it
than your last one.
(LAUGHS) Jesus, Mom.
It should have done better.
Okay, but how does
that help me?
Really, if you
think about it?
You're so reactive.
I'm just being honest.
They didn't do
a good job marketing it.
I didn't know you were
an expert on marketing.
I'm-- I'm actually
kind of confused
because I thought
you were a secretary.
-Executive secretary.
Anyway, I know things.
Okay? Yeah.
Well, I... I did have a book
published, and it did okay.
And now it looks like I'm gonna
have another book published.
-And I am so proud of you.
-My girl.
BETH: I like this couch.
-You do?
I forgot to tell you.
I want that shirt back.
-What shirt?
-The nice one I gave you.
The one you never wear?
It doesn't matter if
I never wear it.
It's mine and
I want it back.
Well, it's too late.
Cause I dropped it
off at the shelter already.
Why'd you do that?
Because I... you gave it--
-Good morning. Hi there.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
DR. ALLEN: All right...
-How are you today, Georgia?
-Not good.
So many things hurt me.
-Her leg is worse.
I can speak for myself.
Oh, okay, great.
Look at, you're so
young and cute...
-And already a doctor.
Isn't that impressive?
It's just...
it's mind blowing, Mom.
Thank you.
But I'm not as young as I look.
-How old are you?
-Mommy, c'mon.
Before I examine you,
I have something I'd like
to get out of the way first.
There are many expenses
to running this practice,
and they're
making it impossible
for me to spend quality
time with each patient.
Mmm, Dr. Weinstein
spent a lot of time with me.
Yes, but he's retired.
My practice is very busy.
So this office needs to start
charging a concierge fee.
It's unfortunate,
but necessary.
-Are you aware of what that is?
You park my car.
I don't have a car.
Let me explain.
Once a year, you pay $800
to receive the best care.
That sounds like a deal.
Well, but it's...
It's not including
the regular charges.
I see. Um...
Well, of course,
I'll pay the concierge fee
if that's what's needed.
I wouldn't want
-to lose you as a patient.
Now for your exam.
Okay. Well, I'll give
you your privacy.
-Good to see ya.
-Good to see you.
-BETH: I have your purse.
-Where's my purse?
-I have your purse.
-Take care of my purse.
I got it, Mom.
I have your purse.
-I'll be right here.
-I've got it.
BETH: Thank you.
I'm so glad
this place is still here.
They make the
best tuna fish.
BETH: Yeah.
-This menu is filthy.
-(BETH GROANS) I know.
Under the plastic, it's filthy.
Completely. It smells bad, too.
Oh... I have to
get another doctor.
I mean, if she thinks
that I'm going to pay her $800
so she can have all that
fancy-schmancy furniture,
-she's nuts.
-Yeah, I figured.
I figured, mama,
I figured.
-Take care.
-See you soon.
Hey Jim... Um, c'mon in.
If I'm in therapy
when I'm that age, kill me.
I, uh... I find it admirable.
It's pathetic, guy's going to
drop dead in five seconds.
What, he's going to change?
I don't know, maybe.
Before we get started,
I want to talk to you
about something.
At the end of our last session
and the previous zoom session,
um... right as we finished,
uh, I... overheard you
say some things
which... uh, expressed
your frustration with me.
I didn't do that.
We can move on.
What would you like
to talk about today?
My brother and
sister are still not
really talking to
me and I don't...
Know what to do about it.
Huh, I have an idea.
-Thank God.
Why don't you do something
for your siblings
so that, um, they
can help your father.
It might help, you know,
repair things with them a bit.
Okay, like what?
Um... I don't know,
do they have kids or...
Yeah, my sister does.
Okay, maybe watch your sister's
kids so that she can help him.
-She has a nanny.
-Um... Um...
Go food shopping,
Maybe ask her
what she...she needs.
And, you know, you can do
the same for your brother.
Yeah. Um... (EXHALES)
That's a good idea.
I can, uh...
Maybe I'll try that.
-Uh, see you next week.
-See ya.
Hi, darling.
Mom, what are you doing here?
(CHUCKLES) Would it be weird
if I bought pot from you?
-(LAUGHS) Don't take my donuts.
-What do you want?
I don't know, something to
make life worth living.
-I got that.
-So, hey...
Eliot tells me
you're a writer too.
Oh, yeah, I am. Books.
Well, if you ever write
a screenplay, let me know.
I'm an executive producer.
Oh, wow. Okay, great.
-Thank you so much.
-Try these.
-How can I help you guys?
Just checking out
the wares, you know.
look at these guys.
Are you kidding me,
-why do you work here?
Everybody on the floor!
-Oh shit!
-Stay down.
Get some vapes.
Some flavored ones.
-BETH: Come here.
-And some bags.
Those gummies,
wait are those indica?
-I don't know.
-Just indica, idiot.
This is a hybrid.
Is that okay?
Whatever. Hurry up!
Where's the money?
-ELIOT: It's in a box.
-Give it to me!
-BETH: No.
All right, I can help you find
what you need if...if you want.
Hurry up. C'mon!
Get up and give
me the money.
BETH: Just give it...
-Okay, move. That's it.
-Mom, you're not helping.
BETH: (SIGHS) Oh, my God.
-BETH: Oh, God.
-Holy crap.
JARED: That was
really fucked up.
Is everybody okay?
Are you guys okay?
-Are you okay?
-Are you okay?
-Oh, my God.
We're okay.
I love you so much.
I know you do.
BETH: I've never been
so scared in my life.
You know, I've never seen
a gun before.
Oh, honey...
I mean, like that,
you know.
Thank, just... just thank
God you're both okay.
Okay, so then we go to
the police afterwards, right?
And I give them a description
of these guys and they
didn't give a shit at all.
Can you imagine?
That, like...
-Oh, come here, come here.
God, it's so hot in here.
I'm sweating.
-Can you get off of me.
I don't know, why do you
make it so hot in here?
Uh, I kind of feel like
it washes my face off.
Don't wash it off.
It's a nice face.
Can you pass me
my toothbrush?
Have you thought
about what I said?
Um... Yeah.
I think if you want to do it.
You should do it.
You telling me the truth?
You don't, um--
You don't think I'm crazy?
Honey, I actually do think
you're a little bit crazy but...
So, you''re okay
if I... if I do it?
Uh-huh. I really
do support you.
-Thank you. Yeah.
Yeah, I want your support.
BETH: You got it.
Yeah, she was so happy about
that crazy lamp, it just...
scared the shit out of me.
Made me realize that I just
need to do something else.
I don't know,
something meaningful.
No, what you do
is kind of meaningful.
-To who?
-No one.
-Shut up.
-I'm kidding.
Hi, Eileen.
I like this.
But she...
You know what, Eileen?
I'm going to be
straight with you.
This is just not
the best one for you.
You know, what I think
would be so perfect is this.
That's an awful color
and pattern.
-BETH: Well.
-Yeah. Yeah.
Ooh. I love that for you.
-Me too.
-That's so great.
-Thank you.
-Screams you.
We are too nice
to our mother.
I know.
-Here she is.
-Did you guys order?
-No, we waited.
Oh, you didn't have
to do that.
Yeah, of course.
Ah. Champagne. (LAUGHS)
-Happy Anniversary.
Happy Anniversary.
Happy Anniversary.
I can't believe
you're still married.
-What the fuck, Eliot?
-Oh, a little something...
-(GASPS) Oh...
Presents, already?
Goodness me.
No way. Good one.
All right. Here's your gifty.
-Oh, wow.
You're gonna put me to shame.
Ah... No!
I cannot believe we had
the same idea.
-What's going on?
-It's a little inside joke.
Oh, fabulous.
Every year we give each
other the same wrong thing,
and so...
we just thought we would...
recycle the same
wrong thing, huh? Yeah.
That's adorable.
Do, uh... Do you want it?
-No, it's a V-neck.
-BETH: Oh, Jesus.
You've done some--
some hard work in this
room over the years.
I'm gonna miss you.
You've been with me through...
Two divorces, my crazy kids,
my cancer.
It's been an honor. Truly.
For me as well.
Can't believe I'm done.
You can always come back.
You're way too expensive.
I was just meeting
with Nolan.
Oh, what'd he say?
MARK: He asked me to
write him a few new songs.
MATT: That sounds good.
MARK: For free. Yeah...
I sent him 20 songs already.
MATT: Well, I guess none
of them are quite right.
-BETH: No...
-You did?
-Hey, hey, hey.
SARAH: Oh...
Honey, you were
so fantastic.
-BETH: (GASPS) Remarkable.
Oh, my goodness
-you were so great.
-Thank you, my love.
Where's Don?
Oh, he's not feeling well.
So, he's so sorry
he couldn't make it.
-Oh, fuck him.
-Hey. You were great.
-Thanks, Eliot.
-Thank you for coming.
-You guys enjoyed it? Yeah.
-Loved it.
Aw, thank you my love.
Yo! There he is, the star.
-Nice job man. So good.
-Awesome work.
-The Josh P. Pace.
-I know.
-Hey, I always say it wrong.
-Pais yeah... Yeah.
-Did you have fun?
-MAN 1: Excuse me? Excuse me?
-I thought the play was great.
-Can I take a picture with you?
-Oh, my God. Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah c'mon in.
-Yeah, it's great.
MAN 1: Yeah!
MAN 2: Can I too?
Yeah, just one second,
one second, let me...
BETH: You must be so tired.
No, actually um...
I feel enlivened...
-By the performance.
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you have to do
a long commute to get here?
Or do you just
live nearby?
-Uh, just usually Uber.
-Yeah, great.
All right...
Excuse me, thanks for coming.
BETH: Yeah.
Jesus Christ...
-I thought he was good.
I didn't know.
I mean that,
I'd only ever seen
him in that...
this, like, weird movie
about a pumpkin.
I have something for you.
-I finished.
-I know. Took me long enough.
-No. Who cares? This...
This is a big deal.
-You know. You wrote a play!
It's a first draft. Remember.
It's probably a mess.
Eliot, most first
drafts are. Yeah.
Give one to Dad, yeah?
Tell him I hope
he feels better.
Oh yeah, I will.
God, I can't wait.
This is gonna be so...
-I can't wait. Yeah.
-BETH: Hey, Don?
-Did you take 'em off?
-Uh-huh, yeah.
What do you think?
Well, it's a
little bruised...
-Does it hurt?
-A little.
Um, how does it look?
-Good. I mean, not now.
-No, it's gotta heal.
You're gonna look great.
You think I'll look better?
Oh, yeah, honey.
-You're gonna look so good.
-Okay, good.
I think I'm gonna
like it. It's...
-Oh, I'm so glad.
-Yeah, yeah.
Me too.
DON: Yeah.