Young Bill Hickok (1940) Movie Script
Your ship's late, Tower.
We had storms at sea. That's a very | unfriendly ocean for them.
Well, this land isn't exactly on speaking terms either.
Well, perhaps you've found someone | who will listen to reason.
- I've got just the man. | - Is he amenable?
He's meaner than all get-out.
Your description intrigues me. | I'm anxious to meet him.
Put it back and move your queen, senator.
Oh, yes. Yes. Thanks.
What do ya say that fella's name was again?
Tower. Nicolas Tower.
He's a foreigner, ain't he?
Yeah.
Well, I'm sick o' waitin'.
That's a black deuce.
Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
He'll be here, if something doesn't happen.
Lad, you better stay here and watch, | just in case.
Gentlemen, this is Nicolas Tower.
Mr. Tower, this is Senator Tucker, | of the state legislature.
It's a great honor to know you, sir.
It is I who am honored, senator.
And this is Morell.
Hi.
Philip has been telling me about you, Mr. Morell.
He thinks you are just the man we need.
Well, if you're satisfied, I reckon I am.
So's all we gotta do is come to terms.
I already know what I'm supposed to do.
Yes, we've gone over the ground | pretty thoroughly with Morell.
Still, our plans must be definite and | thoroughly understood by all of us.
Remember, I just arrived in America.
Oh, yes, yes. Of course, sir.
After all, we're depending on you to lead us in whatever we do.
Thank you, senator.
And I assure you that all who wade into this | great adventure will be amply rewarded...
... when we have succeeded in bringing | order out of, let us say, your democratic chaos.
I don't cower to your fancy language, Tower. | Now let's talk plain.
We're all in this together.
If this country busts up, your government's | figurin' on pickin' up some of the pieces.
California in particular, ain't that it?
Putting it rather bluntly, yes.
We're all out to feather our own nests, only | it ain't feathers we're after. It's gold.
You're hirin' my guns and the guns o' men like me | to cut all lines o' communication from the coast east.
That's my job as I savvy it.
If I'm wrong, say so.
Your understanding is excellent, my friend.
I think we will go far together.
That's more like it.
Now here's what I got in mind.
We'll operate outta Hayes City.
Overland Stage Trail passes through | here goin' east and west.
Across the mountains and through the Indian country.
I'll have a pow-wow with old chief Red Wolf.
I wonder what Tea Kettle's fannin' the wind fer.
Can't be nothin' else but trouble, Uncle Gabby.
Oh, there ya go, always calamity-howlin'.
We shoulda christened you Calamity Jane in the first place.
What's wrong, Tea Kettle?
Big fight at Relay Station.
Hostile Indians?
No. White men.
How many?
Sounds like Raiders.
What in tarnation we sittin' here then fer?
We'd be ridin' right smackdab into trouble.
Well, we've rid right smackdab into trouble before, ain't we?
You stay here with the horses. Me and the Injuns'll go.
Oh, ya ain't leavin' me here alone chaperonin' no broncs.
Little Fox, you stay with the horses. | Big Bear, you come with us.
Look!
He's killed two o' the gang and winned five | of 'em. They've left. Let's get outta here.
Looks like it was pretty good fight while it lasted.
There's one that needs help.
Whoa, whoa, here. Take it easy, son.
You're pretty well used-up.
Did they get the horses?
You mean your relay critters?
No, they didn't.
What do ya know about that?
The poor glute ain't got a pint o' blood | left and he's worried about a buncha Cayooses.
If I ain't mistaken, them was Morrell's Raiders.
You didn't drive 'em off by yourself, did ye?
I was alone. The company will send me a helper tomorrow.
Well, darned if I didn't! You musta gone plumb wild!
- What's your name? | - Hickok. Bill Hickok.
Don't sit there asking questions. | Let's get him inside.
What's happened?
The Morrell Gang started an argument with | a wild man and he sent him a packing.
I'm Elliott of the Chronicle.
Do you mean to say that one man | brought about their defeat?
There weren't no defeat to it.
He just done for 'em with his gun, single-handed.
And if he don't get a doctor pretty soon, | he's gonna be done for himself!
- I'm an army doctor. Where is he? | - Inside the cabin.
Then you didn't actually see the battle?
No, but powder smoke was still smellin' | up the air when we got here.
It's incredible! One man against ten.
Why, it's the greatest single encounter | since Horatius at the bridge.
Horatius? Say, you mean that old coot down | on the tollbridge across the Simaron?
- Has he been in a fight again? | - No, no. Horatius was a Roman soldier!
Where was he roamin' to? Why didn't | he stay with his outfit?
Listen, Horatius held a bridge against an army.
Some thousand years ago, as I recall it.
Say, you're holdin' your age pretty good, mister.
Look... he --
Maybe I better stick to questions.
What did you say the relay station man's name was?
Bill Hickok.
Wild Bill, I'd call 'em.
Say, there's a good idea.
I'll play 'em up as Wild Bill.
Wild Bill Hickok.
The government sure knew their man when they | sent us Lietenant Hickok to handle this raider situation.
If it hadn't been for him, we'd have had | to suspend this overland service.
Hickok certainly earned that reward money.
And I'm gonna see that he gets it.
With this bank draft goes the personal gratitude | of myself and partner.
Say, this is a lotta money, Mr. Waddell.
Well, it's not much for what you've done.
Jumpin' Jehosaphat, a million dollars!
- Two thousand, Uncle Gabby. | - Oh, what's the difference?
When figures has more'n two goose eggs | behind 'em, it's all the same to folks like us.
Well, we hope to see you up and about soon, Bill.
- Thanks! | - Take good care of 'em, Gabby.
Oh, you can depend on me and Calamity.
Hey! How about them horses we brung to restock the relay?
I'll send a couple o' men down to take 'em off your hands.
- You're rich, Bill! | - What are ya gonna do with all that money?
I'd have had a good use for it a few months ago.
I was bent on buying a home then.
You must have been figuring on getting hitched.
- Yep. | - What happened, Bill?
Did she shake ye?
So hard my teeth rattled.
She musta been plumb loco!
Nice young feller so much as looked at me and --
You'd have hogtied 'em quicker'n he coulda said...
Louise!
Oh, I couldn't marry a feller named Louise.
Say, that's what you kept calling when you --
I guess I must have heard you, Bill.
I came just as fast as I could.
Uncle Gabby, she's her.
- Are you alright? | - I'm speechless, but I'm sure glad.
Just a minute. I want you to meet Ms. Mason.
Louise, this is Calamity Jane, | or Miss Canary, in polite society.
Oh, I never get in it, so just call me Calamity.
- Howdy. | - How do you do?
- Gabby Whitaker. | - And I'm her uncle.
Don't I have the darnedest luck?
Meanin' me?
You know, that pony's gone lame. | We gotta go see about it.
We ain't got no lame pony.
Well, then come on out and help me trip one.
Bill, were you badly hurt?
I'd take a shootin' two ways | from Sunday to get you here.
You didn't have to do that.
I know I didn't have to, but it helped.
You're here.
Yes, and I'm sorry.
Quarreling about the north and south was silly.
Lotta folks are doin' it nowadays.
Not us. From now on, the south is gonna | have to take care of itself.
I'm taking care of you.
North don't know it, but they sure | won themselves a victory.
I'll have you well in no time.
Oh, no hurry. I'm lookin' forward | to a long and slow recovery.
It ain't proper to be spyin' on | a young couple a-courtin'.
What's he doin' now?
Uncle Gabby, he's a-puttin' his arm around her.
- He ain't! | - He is!
And now he's kissin' her!
He is?
Where is this Morrell? We're losing time, | valuable every day of it.
Why don't we hear from him?
Speak of the devil.
Look!
At the back door tonight, quick, | before he comes here now.
Right.
Come to Tower's office around midnight tonight.
Back door'll be unlocked. Better not hang around here.
You realize how much time we've lost?
Where've you been?
Did you ever have a bad dose o' lead poisonin'?
No, of course not. Well, it takes a lotta curin'.
Well, you've taken enough time to recover | from a severe case of hanging.
Some things men out here don't josh about, Tower.
Well, that encounter with Hickok was rather costly, but --
Oh, don't worry. I'll collect for those men. | I ain't finished with Wild Bill Hickok.
Now, what do you want me to do?
Well, take up where you left off.
Well, I gotta have Nan. And it | ain't to be had without money.
We've got plenty of that. All you | want if you get results.
Philip will fix you up. Now get going, | and hit those trail outfits hard!
I'll see you.
Three queens and a pair of aces.
That beats me.
This is my lucky day, gentlemen.
I'd rather lose to you than to Morrell's Raiders.
Have you seen Hickok?
No, I haven't. Why?
Read this.
I hope nothing serious has happened, Charlie.
It hasn't yet, but it could.
This is a mighty big responsibility for us to take on, | with Morrell's Raiders on the rampage again.
If it's that important, I oughtta know | something about what's going on.
Why, there's no one here you can't trust.
Gentlemen, we've got a big shipment o' gold | in the company safe.
A half o' million dollars worth.
It came through from California | before the Raiders fired up again.
Now the government insists | we forward it under our own guard.
Well, that seems foolhardy. | Why not an army convoy?
I've tried, but they can't spare the men.
Now it's our job. That's | why we've got to find Hickok.
He shouldn't be hard to find. It's almost sure that | he'd be down there at the parson's house.
With that pretty Southern girl he's a-stayin'. | He's gonna be married tomorrow.
Tomorrow? He can't do that to us.
He's got to see that this gold shipment gets through.
Alright, Majors, you go right over and tell 'em.
Not me. You do it, Waddell.
I'll meet ya at the office.
Oh, no. That's your job.
You're the head of this firm, you do it!
Tell Morrell I wanna see him tonight.
Darn funny that folks can't get hitched without | havin' a lotta ribbons hangin' all over the place.
Oh, these are festoons to set off the bride.
Likely as not, Bill'll strangle himself on 'em | 'fore they get to the 'I do's.
I'm runnin' this wingding.
Who's singing?
Bill.
I got 'em serenadin' Louise. I'm | doin' everythin' accordin' to Hoyle.
Got myself a new pair o' britches.
I'm bridesmaid.
... my dreams come true!
From the evenin' | til the mornin'
Every hour I spend with you.
Why can't I come in?
Because Calamity says it's bad luck for the bridegroom...
... to be in the house the day before the wedding.
Yeah, but I feel like a fillyloo bird | perched out here on this rail.
Come on out.
I can't. I've put on my wedding dress to | see how I look and...
Calamity says if you were to see me in it before the | ceremony it would be flyin' in the face o' Providence.
Yeah, but can't ya kinda slip out while she's not watchin'?
Well, I could try.
You keep on singing and I'll come out.
When the shadows fall
Across the Rockies
And the sleepy moon
Begins to rise
Then I see your face
In almost every place
You are always there | Before my eyes
When the shadows fall
Across the Rockies
You boys are kinda early, aren't ya?
The wedding isn't til tomorrow.
Bill, somethin' important's come up.
Somethin' you won't like, but --
Give me time. I'll get to the point.
What're ya tryin' to say, Mr. Majors?
Bill, the government is planning a | big drive to end the war.
And they're in desperate need of gold supplies.
As you know, we have a large amount stored here.
You've got to get it through.
Is that orders, Mr. Majors?
Orders, Bill.
Calamity caught me red-handed.
Louise, I guess you know everybody | here except Mr. Tower.
How do you do, Mr. Tower?
Gentlemen...
I've got to get down to the corral.
Well, I'll come along with you.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Calamity says I'm walking right into | trouble in my wedding dress.
Honey, I'm going away.
I've got to leave right now to get things ready.
But our wedding!
We'll have to wait.
Well, were you just going away | without even telling me?
Of course not. Louise, you must | understand the importance of this.
Is it more important to you than our marriage?
It'll only be postponed for a little while, | just til I can get this shipment of gold through.
- To the enemy. | - Louise...
Yes, Bill, the enemy.
I can't help being a Southerner. You're taking gold through | so the government can pay the army to kill my people!
Yes. If you wanna put it that way.
But this is army business. And I just | got my orders from Headquarters.
Orders, orders! Well, here's an order for you.
Don't come back. There's not gonna be any wedding!
Bill!
May I see you a minute?
Sure!
Oh, Bill, I'm awfully sorry. | Will you forgive me?
I start in forgivin' ya the minute | you start in gettin' mad.
You know, the last time we quarreled | and I let you go, you were almost killed.
We've made up this time, so if I get half-killed | again, it'll be my own darn fault.
Oh, Bill, I'm so worried.
All that gold! Surely the Morell Raiders | can't help but know you're moving it!
We've been doin' considerable thinking | along those lines and --
And you've decided to do something?
Yes. Take the gold through.
But couldn't you've thought of some | kind of a plan to safeguard yourselves?
There's no better plan that the bullet. | It's sorta safe either way.
Then you do expect an attack from the Raiders | and you're just gonna take a chance...
... on fighting your way out.
Oh, Bill, ya can't win!
Then it'll be two losers.
What do you mean?
We're not takin' the gold through.
But those boxes and all your guards!
Some folks might call 'em decoys.
Well, then it's more of a fool's errand than ever.
The Raiders'll think you've got it and | you'll all be dead before they find out ya haven't.
Bill, everything's ready!
I'll be right there.
Suppose you quit worryin' and ask | Calamity to lend ya a rabbit's foot.
Well, what're ya gonna do?
Morrell has his orders.
You know, I'm kinda disappointed in Hickok.
I thought he was smart.
I still think he is.
A little too smart to go off half-cocked | with a full shipment o' gold in that coach.
What're ya getting at?
I'm not sure, but I've got what | you boys call a hunch.
I think I'll play it.
Leaving us, Mr. Whitaker?
Yep. Goin' out to Californ-y, to get some | more Cayooses for them relay stations.
Those Overland Raiders certainly keep | you busy, huh?
Yes, sirree!
Someday Californ-y'll run outta horses, | Overland Raiders'll run outta raids...
And I'll just naturally run outta a job.
Why, you seem upset, Ms. Mason. | Anything I can do?
Thank you, no. It's just that I'm | so terribly afraid.
No need to be. Bill Hickok will come through with flying colors.
Not if the Overland Raiders raid them.
No danger of that. Not at all.
You think they'll get through, then?
Well, yes, of course, unless they...
Well, there is a chance of Southern sympathizers.
Why, Mr. Tower! Southerners are not raiders.
Well, in times of war, men are forced | to do many things.
And the south needs that gold.
Enough to raid them?
Desperately, enough to kill them.
Oh, but that mustn't happen! | They're not carrying the gold!
Are you sure?
Yes, of course. Bill told me himself. | He wouldn't lie to me.
Ms. Mason, you've confided in the right person.
You think you'll be able to do something?
More than you imagine, my dear. Much more.
Thank you.
Say, Hayes. Have you seen Gabby Whitaker?
- Well, yeah. | - Which way was he heading?
Headin' east on the Willow Creek Trail.
He told me he was headin' for California.
Well, he sure wasn't.
What're you so interested in Gabby for?
Gabby's got that gold on that | broken-down outfit of his!
Get ahold of Morrell and tell him to | head him off, quickly.
Right.
The stage ain't carryin' that gold. It's just a trick.
Then where is it?
That old horse trader Gabby Whitaker's | takin' it through on his wagon.
On the Willow Creek Trail.
Let's get that wagon!
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on | up and down the prairie
While the moon is shinin' on | up and down the prairie
It don't matter where we go | Long as we are married
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on | up and down the prairie
There's but one way | To be passin' time away
With a yippee-I and a yippee-oh | and a double yippee-yay
If ye want to see the sights | Extraordinary
Take your gal and take a ride | up and down the prairie
I don't like the women folks | Somehow they upset me
They just take a look at me | And they can't forget me
Everytime I meet a man | And my love has got him
I go home and hear the news, | Somone came and shot him
There's but one way | To be passin' time away
With a yippee-I and a yippee-oh | and a double yippee-yay
Tell me, Gabby, one more thing | How'd ya get so hairy?
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on | up and down the prairie
The Overland Raiders!
See if the gold's in that wagon!
Get that wagon outta here! We'll | transfer the gold to the horses later!
Well, of all the dirty thievin', murderin', | yellow-livered sons o' Satan!
Well, whatcha yellin' fer? | We're still alive, ain't we?
Look!
Come on, let's grab that critter!
- Stand where ya are! | - How can he stand when he's sittin'?
Well then, get on your feet | and stand where ya are!
What're we gonna do with 'em, shoot 'em?
He's worth a heap more alive. We'll | take 'em into town and make 'em talk.
Get his gun, Calamity.
He ain't got none.
Well, then give 'em one and then take it away. | I mean, get 'em on his horse!
Yeah!
I've got a feeling something's gone wrong.
If they were gonna hold us up, they'd | done it long before now.
Maybe the Raiders don't know | we're takin' the shipment through.
That's just it, we're not takin' it through.
I sent it over another road with Gabby.
Maybe they found out about it!
That's just what we're gonna find out.
Hold the stagecoach here! The rest o' | you men follow me!
It's one o' Gabby's Indians, Hank.
We've gotta ride fast.
They've scattered in all directions from here.
No use tryin' to follow 'em. We'll head back to Hayes City.
It's Red!
You stay here. I'm going to see that he doesn't talk.
What happened?
Calamity and me accumulated ourselves one | o' them Overland Raiders.
Rest of 'em got away and took the gold with 'em.
Perhaps it didn't kick back.
What're you drivin' at?
Doesn't it seem rather strange | to sent that much gold...
... guarded only by an old man, a girl, and some Indians?
Say, if you're accusin' Bill Hickok of anything | crooked, why don't ya do it to his face?
He's comin' now.
Well, Hickok, they got the gold.
Who besides Waddell, you and myself | knew about the plan?
Well, if you'll give me about thirty | minutes, I may be able to answer that.
Alright, go ahead.
We'll be waiting.
How 'bout questioning this man? | We may get the truth from him.
Let's go in your office, Majors. | Come down off o' there.
You go on after Bill and keep your eyes | on that end o' the line.
I'm goin' to stick around here.
What's your name?
Red Burke.
Things look pretty bad for you, Burke.
The best thing you can do is to tell the truth.
You haven't got anything to be afraid of.
Go ahead. Speak up. Who's behind this robbery?
Maybe you made a pretty good guess outside.
What do you mean by that?
You couldn't possibly mean Bill Hickok?
Hickok's a pretty slick hombre, | but I guess he isn't slick enough.
He might've been slicker than you think when he | asked for a half hour to straighten things out.
That'll give 'em a pretty good start.
Say, maybe you're right!
Arrest Hickok.
If he stopped anywhere, it'll be to see his girl.
Lock 'em up.
Alright, Bill. I guess it was my fault.
Who did ya tell?
Tower.
Why?
Well, he said he could help you.
Well, I think he has.
Don't cry, honey. I understand.
I just couldn't let you go.
It seemed like such a foolish chance to take.
- Where's Bill? | - Inside. Him and Louise is squarin' off again.
Maybe I oughtta marry him myself, | just to keep 'em friendly.
They're comin' to get 'em for the gold | robbery. Get his horse outta sight!
They gotcha framed, Bill. Red's accusin' you | o' bein' responsible for the gold robbery.
And they're comin' here to arrest ye. | You better get goin' while the goin's good.
Why should I run? I've just found out | that Tower's behind all this!
Well, maybe he is. But you can prove | it better without a rope around your neck.
His horse ain't anywhere around.
I'll go around back and take a look.
Hurry!
He'll run into a dead end up there.
Yeah, he'll have to quit his horse | if he's gonna get out.
Dismount! Take your rifles! | Scatter out!
There's his horse!
Alright, Hickok! Come out, | we've got ya surrounded!
It came from down that way!
I oughtta've known that Nicolas Tower was a skunk.
Why, Calamity?
He tipped his hat to me once.
Well, a gentleman's supposed to tip | his hat to a lady.
That's when I shoulda catched on. I ain't no lady.
Ah, quit braggin' about yourself, Calamity.
You know, Bill, that Tower almost broke | his neck tryin' to pin the blame on you.
You reckon he's tied in with them Overland Raiders?
All the trails lead his way.
The Overland Raiders are no penny-annie outfit.
They've got money behind them.
And brains. They've got strains out all over the territory!
I didn't tell ya about it, Bill, but that feller Red, | ya know, the one we brung in...
He was found dead in his cell.
Somebody shot 'em.
Trouble is, we can't get ahold o' the right string.
When we do, we'll find Tower on the other end of it.
Say, what're ya up to, Bill?
I've got an idea I wanna go through Tower's office.
Are you plumb loco?
You'll be ridin' smackdab into your own necktie party!
Why, don't stand there gapin' at me, ya young squirt.
We ain't gonna let 'em go alone, are we?
Oh, stop growlin' at me, you old mossback.
And climb onto your Cayoose, if ya got the strength.
Come on.
He's up to his elbows in a poker game, | right in his office.
Well, I've got to break it up someway.
You leave that to Uncle Gabby and me.
Say, wait a minute. I got a right to know | what I'm gettin' into.
This won't be nothin' new to you, | ya old hoss. Beat it!
Ladies and gentlemen!
And my friend!
As most of ya know, me and Calamity had our | outfit broke up by the Overland Raiders.
Now we ain't askin' ye to grubstake us...
But Calamity here's gonna put on a little show.
And if any o' you Christian-hearted folks | like it, well, we ain't turnin' down no donations.
This here be the first high-class | entertainment seen in these parts...
... since them actor folks put on Shakespeare's omelet.
It gives me great pleasure to introduce a prairie | nightingale, Calamity Jane Canary!
Tamales! Tamales!
I'll tell you a story | of fortune and glory
That came to a Mexican vendor
The seedy hillbilly | made wonderful chili
Each bean was delicious and tender
His crops were all bumpers | of Mexican jumpers
The beans were as sprightly as elves
A guy could do this, sir, | Just open his kisser
The beans would jump in by themselves!
Tamales! Tamales!
He'd shout and he'd sell out, by golly
All over the nation, | they cheered the creation
- This should be good. | - ... of jolly tamales, you bet!
His fortunes were growing | but ill winds were blowing
And right with the breeze came a lady
His beautiful dolly was monikered Molly
and Molly's intentions were shady
She schemed and misled him | and then when she wed him
She took every cent in his jeans
She knew how to hook him, | and, oh, how she shook him!
She left him with nothing but beans!
Oh! Tamales! Tamales!
The dough that he made went to Molly
Poor Charlie, poor Charlie!
He's paying a price for his folly
He thinks love is silly | He's back selling chili
And putting his heart in tamales!
Well, how 'bout you gents? You goin' | to chip in somethin'?
Alright. Come into my office. I'll give ya | some chips and you can cash 'em at the bar.
Well, I don't know about that now. I --
Go ahead now.
Alright, Hickok. Get 'em up.
It's Bill Hickok!
Let's get Louise!
They got Bill. He's down at the marshal's office.
Oh, Gabby, what'll they do with him?
They won't treat 'em like company.
- Is he hurt? | - Only his feelin's.
Gettin' caught by the local marshal ain't | the kinda catchin' Bill's used to.
They musta snuck up like a coyote. | They never got the drop on him.
Bill didn't come into town!?
Well, we got a hunch Tower knows | 'bout that gold robbery.
Bill was goin' through his office lookin' for evidence.
Tower...
Why, of course, I should've known he --
Come on.
Bill, they can't hold you, can they?
Well, I don't know. The marshal's awful set in his ways.
Bill is innocent, do ya hear?
Yes, I hear ya, miss, but I ain't | payin' much attention to what you're sayin'.
Well, perhaps you will. All of you.
Particularly you, Mr. Tower.
Listening to a charming lady is always interesting.
Yes. Especially when she's fool enough | to give you important information.
That's what I did, gentlemen.
The day Bill took the stage out, I | told Tower they weren't carrying the gold.
Why did you tell him?
Because he hinted that Bill was to be | held up by Southern sympathizers...
...and that he might be able to prevent it.
Them wasn't no Southern gentlemen | that took that gold from me!
Tower couldn't've known ya had it.
Well, he was snoopin' around my outfit!
Likely as not, he smelled it.
I'm afraid you're trying to make me entirely too clever.
It takes a smart man to guide the Overland Raiders.
Are you insinuating that I have something | to do with them?
I believe you're their leader.
That's what I call darn plain insinuatin'!
Your charge is serious enough, but ya | haven't much foundation for it.
What do you say, Tower?
There we go. That dude'll fancy | talk all of us into jail.
No. I intend to be very blunt, gentlemen.
She's lying.
And the reason is obvious.
She's engaged to Hickok and would trump up | any kind of a story to save him.
They're both Southern sympathizers who've | been working together ever since they came here.
Don't let 'em talk his way outta this --
I understand Ms. Mason has strong connections in the South.
Her father's an officer in the Confederate Army.
Yes, but if you didn't have agents all over | the country, you wouldn't know it.
What do you think, marshal?
Well, I certainly can't take Ms. Mason's | unsupported word.
Especially when I know she helped Hickok escape.
Thank you, marshal.
Now if there are any further questions, you'll | find me in my place of business.
Pardon me.
Thank you.
You ain't gonna let 'em go like that, are ye?
You're gonna kick yourself all over | the county for this, marshal.
Now you listen to me.
You've all done your best to help Hickok, | and I don't wanna have any more trouble with you.
From now on, ya better be careful | what ya do and what ya say.
That's all!
That's enough.
The war's over! Lee surrendered!
Here, read about it!
- What'd you say? | - Said the war's over!
Lee surrendered!
Did he surrender?
This is gonna make a big difference.
To your government, perhaps, but not mine.
We'll move that gold as quickly | as we can and get out of here ourselves.
To California?
With the North and the South | both exhausted, we must strike.
The armies will be demobilized with all | possible haste.
They're half-starved. And when men are | hungry, gold is a tempting commodity.
Do you really intend to recruit an army | and take over California?
My friend, you don't expect me | to take it over single-handedly!
No, of course not.
I'm with ya, Tower. But what about | this here Mr. Lincoln?
I'm wondering what he might do.
This here Mr. Lincoln might do many | things, if he had the time.
Well, I'm glad to hear you sold | your place to profit.
But I hate to see ya go, Tower.
Well, now that the war is over, I think | there are better opportunities in California.
- Good-bye, gentlemen. | - Good-bye and good luck.
- Bye. | - Bye.
- Mornin', Bill! | - Hello, Calamity.
Where's Tower goin'?
Pullin' out fer Californ-y.
I bet he's got that gold with him.
I wish I could prove it.
Say, here's the latest. | Came in on the mornin' stage.
Death to all tyrants.
John Wilkes Booth.
Say, Gabby. John Wilkes Booth's signature | was on a letter I saw in Tower's office.
He closed it by sayin' 'Death to all tyrants'.
Do you realize what that means?
Tower's tied in with a nationwide plot to wreck the Union!
The holy union, eh?
Ya don't say!
Well, I've got to get outta here.
Yeah, but how?
I got an idea. Get ready fer whatever happens!
Calamity, you go get them horses.
Tie that around the bars.
Alright, Steve, get goin'!
What happened?
Oh, look, the wheels are off!
There's the wheels over...
How we gonna stop all them fellers?
Can't we surround 'em?
Looks like Morrell and his whole gang.
Well, if it is, the smartest thing | we can do is learn to love 'em.
Chances are, the marshal's trailin' us.
We'll go back.
You can't do that. You'll be stickin' | your neck in the noose again.
Well, he's got to listen to me this time.
Tower and all the Overland Raiders are makin' | the getaway with all that stolen gold!
Is this another one o' your tricks?
It's the truth, so help me! We just | seen 'em with our own eyes!
Alright, Hickok. I'll give ya another | chance, but you better be right this time.
This way.
Something's happened! There's | a posse following us!
They don't look peaceful! We better run for it!
They've seen us!
Every man for himself! Spread out!
Surround the Raiders before they get away!
I'll try to strike the wagon!
Alright, Tower.
Way to cover, Bill!
Nothin' much I can say to ya, Hickok, | but I don't forget very easy.
Well, that's alright with me.
I'm pretty forgetful myself, marshal.
But if ya ever need me to do a good turn...
... don't forget to jog my memory.
How 'bout payin' for that | stagecoach you wrecked?
I said jog it, not jolt it.
Giddyup!
We're gonna have a cowboy weddin'
When the sage is all abloom
To the mountains we'll be headin'
For our sunny honeymoon
We're gonna drink in all the sunshine
Long the banks of some cool stream
Just to laugh and play | the livelong day
Build a cabin of our dreams
We wanna hear guitars a-ringin'
When they play our weddin' tune
Down the aisle you'll find a-swingin'
In the early part of June
Within a year, we have no fear
A lullaby will croon
We're gonna have a cowboy weddin'
When the sage is all a--
Majors and Waddell are comin'!
If you're ever gonna get married, ya better | not let 'em catch ya again!
Have ya seen Bill Hickok?
No, and what's more, you ain't gonna | see 'em, neither.
They've absconded, eloped, departed, | and left for parts unknown.
Well, that's too bad. We got a weddin' present for 'em.
- Huh? | - Yeah.
The reward money for cleanin' out | the Overland Raiders.
Why, I... Hey, Bill!
- Bill! | - Bill, wait!
We had storms at sea. That's a very | unfriendly ocean for them.
Well, this land isn't exactly on speaking terms either.
Well, perhaps you've found someone | who will listen to reason.
- I've got just the man. | - Is he amenable?
He's meaner than all get-out.
Your description intrigues me. | I'm anxious to meet him.
Put it back and move your queen, senator.
Oh, yes. Yes. Thanks.
What do ya say that fella's name was again?
Tower. Nicolas Tower.
He's a foreigner, ain't he?
Yeah.
Well, I'm sick o' waitin'.
That's a black deuce.
Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
He'll be here, if something doesn't happen.
Lad, you better stay here and watch, | just in case.
Gentlemen, this is Nicolas Tower.
Mr. Tower, this is Senator Tucker, | of the state legislature.
It's a great honor to know you, sir.
It is I who am honored, senator.
And this is Morell.
Hi.
Philip has been telling me about you, Mr. Morell.
He thinks you are just the man we need.
Well, if you're satisfied, I reckon I am.
So's all we gotta do is come to terms.
I already know what I'm supposed to do.
Yes, we've gone over the ground | pretty thoroughly with Morell.
Still, our plans must be definite and | thoroughly understood by all of us.
Remember, I just arrived in America.
Oh, yes, yes. Of course, sir.
After all, we're depending on you to lead us in whatever we do.
Thank you, senator.
And I assure you that all who wade into this | great adventure will be amply rewarded...
... when we have succeeded in bringing | order out of, let us say, your democratic chaos.
I don't cower to your fancy language, Tower. | Now let's talk plain.
We're all in this together.
If this country busts up, your government's | figurin' on pickin' up some of the pieces.
California in particular, ain't that it?
Putting it rather bluntly, yes.
We're all out to feather our own nests, only | it ain't feathers we're after. It's gold.
You're hirin' my guns and the guns o' men like me | to cut all lines o' communication from the coast east.
That's my job as I savvy it.
If I'm wrong, say so.
Your understanding is excellent, my friend.
I think we will go far together.
That's more like it.
Now here's what I got in mind.
We'll operate outta Hayes City.
Overland Stage Trail passes through | here goin' east and west.
Across the mountains and through the Indian country.
I'll have a pow-wow with old chief Red Wolf.
I wonder what Tea Kettle's fannin' the wind fer.
Can't be nothin' else but trouble, Uncle Gabby.
Oh, there ya go, always calamity-howlin'.
We shoulda christened you Calamity Jane in the first place.
What's wrong, Tea Kettle?
Big fight at Relay Station.
Hostile Indians?
No. White men.
How many?
Sounds like Raiders.
What in tarnation we sittin' here then fer?
We'd be ridin' right smackdab into trouble.
Well, we've rid right smackdab into trouble before, ain't we?
You stay here with the horses. Me and the Injuns'll go.
Oh, ya ain't leavin' me here alone chaperonin' no broncs.
Little Fox, you stay with the horses. | Big Bear, you come with us.
Look!
He's killed two o' the gang and winned five | of 'em. They've left. Let's get outta here.
Looks like it was pretty good fight while it lasted.
There's one that needs help.
Whoa, whoa, here. Take it easy, son.
You're pretty well used-up.
Did they get the horses?
You mean your relay critters?
No, they didn't.
What do ya know about that?
The poor glute ain't got a pint o' blood | left and he's worried about a buncha Cayooses.
If I ain't mistaken, them was Morrell's Raiders.
You didn't drive 'em off by yourself, did ye?
I was alone. The company will send me a helper tomorrow.
Well, darned if I didn't! You musta gone plumb wild!
- What's your name? | - Hickok. Bill Hickok.
Don't sit there asking questions. | Let's get him inside.
What's happened?
The Morrell Gang started an argument with | a wild man and he sent him a packing.
I'm Elliott of the Chronicle.
Do you mean to say that one man | brought about their defeat?
There weren't no defeat to it.
He just done for 'em with his gun, single-handed.
And if he don't get a doctor pretty soon, | he's gonna be done for himself!
- I'm an army doctor. Where is he? | - Inside the cabin.
Then you didn't actually see the battle?
No, but powder smoke was still smellin' | up the air when we got here.
It's incredible! One man against ten.
Why, it's the greatest single encounter | since Horatius at the bridge.
Horatius? Say, you mean that old coot down | on the tollbridge across the Simaron?
- Has he been in a fight again? | - No, no. Horatius was a Roman soldier!
Where was he roamin' to? Why didn't | he stay with his outfit?
Listen, Horatius held a bridge against an army.
Some thousand years ago, as I recall it.
Say, you're holdin' your age pretty good, mister.
Look... he --
Maybe I better stick to questions.
What did you say the relay station man's name was?
Bill Hickok.
Wild Bill, I'd call 'em.
Say, there's a good idea.
I'll play 'em up as Wild Bill.
Wild Bill Hickok.
The government sure knew their man when they | sent us Lietenant Hickok to handle this raider situation.
If it hadn't been for him, we'd have had | to suspend this overland service.
Hickok certainly earned that reward money.
And I'm gonna see that he gets it.
With this bank draft goes the personal gratitude | of myself and partner.
Say, this is a lotta money, Mr. Waddell.
Well, it's not much for what you've done.
Jumpin' Jehosaphat, a million dollars!
- Two thousand, Uncle Gabby. | - Oh, what's the difference?
When figures has more'n two goose eggs | behind 'em, it's all the same to folks like us.
Well, we hope to see you up and about soon, Bill.
- Thanks! | - Take good care of 'em, Gabby.
Oh, you can depend on me and Calamity.
Hey! How about them horses we brung to restock the relay?
I'll send a couple o' men down to take 'em off your hands.
- You're rich, Bill! | - What are ya gonna do with all that money?
I'd have had a good use for it a few months ago.
I was bent on buying a home then.
You must have been figuring on getting hitched.
- Yep. | - What happened, Bill?
Did she shake ye?
So hard my teeth rattled.
She musta been plumb loco!
Nice young feller so much as looked at me and --
You'd have hogtied 'em quicker'n he coulda said...
Louise!
Oh, I couldn't marry a feller named Louise.
Say, that's what you kept calling when you --
I guess I must have heard you, Bill.
I came just as fast as I could.
Uncle Gabby, she's her.
- Are you alright? | - I'm speechless, but I'm sure glad.
Just a minute. I want you to meet Ms. Mason.
Louise, this is Calamity Jane, | or Miss Canary, in polite society.
Oh, I never get in it, so just call me Calamity.
- Howdy. | - How do you do?
- Gabby Whitaker. | - And I'm her uncle.
Don't I have the darnedest luck?
Meanin' me?
You know, that pony's gone lame. | We gotta go see about it.
We ain't got no lame pony.
Well, then come on out and help me trip one.
Bill, were you badly hurt?
I'd take a shootin' two ways | from Sunday to get you here.
You didn't have to do that.
I know I didn't have to, but it helped.
You're here.
Yes, and I'm sorry.
Quarreling about the north and south was silly.
Lotta folks are doin' it nowadays.
Not us. From now on, the south is gonna | have to take care of itself.
I'm taking care of you.
North don't know it, but they sure | won themselves a victory.
I'll have you well in no time.
Oh, no hurry. I'm lookin' forward | to a long and slow recovery.
It ain't proper to be spyin' on | a young couple a-courtin'.
What's he doin' now?
Uncle Gabby, he's a-puttin' his arm around her.
- He ain't! | - He is!
And now he's kissin' her!
He is?
Where is this Morrell? We're losing time, | valuable every day of it.
Why don't we hear from him?
Speak of the devil.
Look!
At the back door tonight, quick, | before he comes here now.
Right.
Come to Tower's office around midnight tonight.
Back door'll be unlocked. Better not hang around here.
You realize how much time we've lost?
Where've you been?
Did you ever have a bad dose o' lead poisonin'?
No, of course not. Well, it takes a lotta curin'.
Well, you've taken enough time to recover | from a severe case of hanging.
Some things men out here don't josh about, Tower.
Well, that encounter with Hickok was rather costly, but --
Oh, don't worry. I'll collect for those men. | I ain't finished with Wild Bill Hickok.
Now, what do you want me to do?
Well, take up where you left off.
Well, I gotta have Nan. And it | ain't to be had without money.
We've got plenty of that. All you | want if you get results.
Philip will fix you up. Now get going, | and hit those trail outfits hard!
I'll see you.
Three queens and a pair of aces.
That beats me.
This is my lucky day, gentlemen.
I'd rather lose to you than to Morrell's Raiders.
Have you seen Hickok?
No, I haven't. Why?
Read this.
I hope nothing serious has happened, Charlie.
It hasn't yet, but it could.
This is a mighty big responsibility for us to take on, | with Morrell's Raiders on the rampage again.
If it's that important, I oughtta know | something about what's going on.
Why, there's no one here you can't trust.
Gentlemen, we've got a big shipment o' gold | in the company safe.
A half o' million dollars worth.
It came through from California | before the Raiders fired up again.
Now the government insists | we forward it under our own guard.
Well, that seems foolhardy. | Why not an army convoy?
I've tried, but they can't spare the men.
Now it's our job. That's | why we've got to find Hickok.
He shouldn't be hard to find. It's almost sure that | he'd be down there at the parson's house.
With that pretty Southern girl he's a-stayin'. | He's gonna be married tomorrow.
Tomorrow? He can't do that to us.
He's got to see that this gold shipment gets through.
Alright, Majors, you go right over and tell 'em.
Not me. You do it, Waddell.
I'll meet ya at the office.
Oh, no. That's your job.
You're the head of this firm, you do it!
Tell Morrell I wanna see him tonight.
Darn funny that folks can't get hitched without | havin' a lotta ribbons hangin' all over the place.
Oh, these are festoons to set off the bride.
Likely as not, Bill'll strangle himself on 'em | 'fore they get to the 'I do's.
I'm runnin' this wingding.
Who's singing?
Bill.
I got 'em serenadin' Louise. I'm | doin' everythin' accordin' to Hoyle.
Got myself a new pair o' britches.
I'm bridesmaid.
... my dreams come true!
From the evenin' | til the mornin'
Every hour I spend with you.
Why can't I come in?
Because Calamity says it's bad luck for the bridegroom...
... to be in the house the day before the wedding.
Yeah, but I feel like a fillyloo bird | perched out here on this rail.
Come on out.
I can't. I've put on my wedding dress to | see how I look and...
Calamity says if you were to see me in it before the | ceremony it would be flyin' in the face o' Providence.
Yeah, but can't ya kinda slip out while she's not watchin'?
Well, I could try.
You keep on singing and I'll come out.
When the shadows fall
Across the Rockies
And the sleepy moon
Begins to rise
Then I see your face
In almost every place
You are always there | Before my eyes
When the shadows fall
Across the Rockies
You boys are kinda early, aren't ya?
The wedding isn't til tomorrow.
Bill, somethin' important's come up.
Somethin' you won't like, but --
Give me time. I'll get to the point.
What're ya tryin' to say, Mr. Majors?
Bill, the government is planning a | big drive to end the war.
And they're in desperate need of gold supplies.
As you know, we have a large amount stored here.
You've got to get it through.
Is that orders, Mr. Majors?
Orders, Bill.
Calamity caught me red-handed.
Louise, I guess you know everybody | here except Mr. Tower.
How do you do, Mr. Tower?
Gentlemen...
I've got to get down to the corral.
Well, I'll come along with you.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Calamity says I'm walking right into | trouble in my wedding dress.
Honey, I'm going away.
I've got to leave right now to get things ready.
But our wedding!
We'll have to wait.
Well, were you just going away | without even telling me?
Of course not. Louise, you must | understand the importance of this.
Is it more important to you than our marriage?
It'll only be postponed for a little while, | just til I can get this shipment of gold through.
- To the enemy. | - Louise...
Yes, Bill, the enemy.
I can't help being a Southerner. You're taking gold through | so the government can pay the army to kill my people!
Yes. If you wanna put it that way.
But this is army business. And I just | got my orders from Headquarters.
Orders, orders! Well, here's an order for you.
Don't come back. There's not gonna be any wedding!
Bill!
May I see you a minute?
Sure!
Oh, Bill, I'm awfully sorry. | Will you forgive me?
I start in forgivin' ya the minute | you start in gettin' mad.
You know, the last time we quarreled | and I let you go, you were almost killed.
We've made up this time, so if I get half-killed | again, it'll be my own darn fault.
Oh, Bill, I'm so worried.
All that gold! Surely the Morell Raiders | can't help but know you're moving it!
We've been doin' considerable thinking | along those lines and --
And you've decided to do something?
Yes. Take the gold through.
But couldn't you've thought of some | kind of a plan to safeguard yourselves?
There's no better plan that the bullet. | It's sorta safe either way.
Then you do expect an attack from the Raiders | and you're just gonna take a chance...
... on fighting your way out.
Oh, Bill, ya can't win!
Then it'll be two losers.
What do you mean?
We're not takin' the gold through.
But those boxes and all your guards!
Some folks might call 'em decoys.
Well, then it's more of a fool's errand than ever.
The Raiders'll think you've got it and | you'll all be dead before they find out ya haven't.
Bill, everything's ready!
I'll be right there.
Suppose you quit worryin' and ask | Calamity to lend ya a rabbit's foot.
Well, what're ya gonna do?
Morrell has his orders.
You know, I'm kinda disappointed in Hickok.
I thought he was smart.
I still think he is.
A little too smart to go off half-cocked | with a full shipment o' gold in that coach.
What're ya getting at?
I'm not sure, but I've got what | you boys call a hunch.
I think I'll play it.
Leaving us, Mr. Whitaker?
Yep. Goin' out to Californ-y, to get some | more Cayooses for them relay stations.
Those Overland Raiders certainly keep | you busy, huh?
Yes, sirree!
Someday Californ-y'll run outta horses, | Overland Raiders'll run outta raids...
And I'll just naturally run outta a job.
Why, you seem upset, Ms. Mason. | Anything I can do?
Thank you, no. It's just that I'm | so terribly afraid.
No need to be. Bill Hickok will come through with flying colors.
Not if the Overland Raiders raid them.
No danger of that. Not at all.
You think they'll get through, then?
Well, yes, of course, unless they...
Well, there is a chance of Southern sympathizers.
Why, Mr. Tower! Southerners are not raiders.
Well, in times of war, men are forced | to do many things.
And the south needs that gold.
Enough to raid them?
Desperately, enough to kill them.
Oh, but that mustn't happen! | They're not carrying the gold!
Are you sure?
Yes, of course. Bill told me himself. | He wouldn't lie to me.
Ms. Mason, you've confided in the right person.
You think you'll be able to do something?
More than you imagine, my dear. Much more.
Thank you.
Say, Hayes. Have you seen Gabby Whitaker?
- Well, yeah. | - Which way was he heading?
Headin' east on the Willow Creek Trail.
He told me he was headin' for California.
Well, he sure wasn't.
What're you so interested in Gabby for?
Gabby's got that gold on that | broken-down outfit of his!
Get ahold of Morrell and tell him to | head him off, quickly.
Right.
The stage ain't carryin' that gold. It's just a trick.
Then where is it?
That old horse trader Gabby Whitaker's | takin' it through on his wagon.
On the Willow Creek Trail.
Let's get that wagon!
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on | up and down the prairie
While the moon is shinin' on | up and down the prairie
It don't matter where we go | Long as we are married
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on | up and down the prairie
There's but one way | To be passin' time away
With a yippee-I and a yippee-oh | and a double yippee-yay
If ye want to see the sights | Extraordinary
Take your gal and take a ride | up and down the prairie
I don't like the women folks | Somehow they upset me
They just take a look at me | And they can't forget me
Everytime I meet a man | And my love has got him
I go home and hear the news, | Somone came and shot him
There's but one way | To be passin' time away
With a yippee-I and a yippee-oh | and a double yippee-yay
Tell me, Gabby, one more thing | How'd ya get so hairy?
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on | up and down the prairie
The Overland Raiders!
See if the gold's in that wagon!
Get that wagon outta here! We'll | transfer the gold to the horses later!
Well, of all the dirty thievin', murderin', | yellow-livered sons o' Satan!
Well, whatcha yellin' fer? | We're still alive, ain't we?
Look!
Come on, let's grab that critter!
- Stand where ya are! | - How can he stand when he's sittin'?
Well then, get on your feet | and stand where ya are!
What're we gonna do with 'em, shoot 'em?
He's worth a heap more alive. We'll | take 'em into town and make 'em talk.
Get his gun, Calamity.
He ain't got none.
Well, then give 'em one and then take it away. | I mean, get 'em on his horse!
Yeah!
I've got a feeling something's gone wrong.
If they were gonna hold us up, they'd | done it long before now.
Maybe the Raiders don't know | we're takin' the shipment through.
That's just it, we're not takin' it through.
I sent it over another road with Gabby.
Maybe they found out about it!
That's just what we're gonna find out.
Hold the stagecoach here! The rest o' | you men follow me!
It's one o' Gabby's Indians, Hank.
We've gotta ride fast.
They've scattered in all directions from here.
No use tryin' to follow 'em. We'll head back to Hayes City.
It's Red!
You stay here. I'm going to see that he doesn't talk.
What happened?
Calamity and me accumulated ourselves one | o' them Overland Raiders.
Rest of 'em got away and took the gold with 'em.
Perhaps it didn't kick back.
What're you drivin' at?
Doesn't it seem rather strange | to sent that much gold...
... guarded only by an old man, a girl, and some Indians?
Say, if you're accusin' Bill Hickok of anything | crooked, why don't ya do it to his face?
He's comin' now.
Well, Hickok, they got the gold.
Who besides Waddell, you and myself | knew about the plan?
Well, if you'll give me about thirty | minutes, I may be able to answer that.
Alright, go ahead.
We'll be waiting.
How 'bout questioning this man? | We may get the truth from him.
Let's go in your office, Majors. | Come down off o' there.
You go on after Bill and keep your eyes | on that end o' the line.
I'm goin' to stick around here.
What's your name?
Red Burke.
Things look pretty bad for you, Burke.
The best thing you can do is to tell the truth.
You haven't got anything to be afraid of.
Go ahead. Speak up. Who's behind this robbery?
Maybe you made a pretty good guess outside.
What do you mean by that?
You couldn't possibly mean Bill Hickok?
Hickok's a pretty slick hombre, | but I guess he isn't slick enough.
He might've been slicker than you think when he | asked for a half hour to straighten things out.
That'll give 'em a pretty good start.
Say, maybe you're right!
Arrest Hickok.
If he stopped anywhere, it'll be to see his girl.
Lock 'em up.
Alright, Bill. I guess it was my fault.
Who did ya tell?
Tower.
Why?
Well, he said he could help you.
Well, I think he has.
Don't cry, honey. I understand.
I just couldn't let you go.
It seemed like such a foolish chance to take.
- Where's Bill? | - Inside. Him and Louise is squarin' off again.
Maybe I oughtta marry him myself, | just to keep 'em friendly.
They're comin' to get 'em for the gold | robbery. Get his horse outta sight!
They gotcha framed, Bill. Red's accusin' you | o' bein' responsible for the gold robbery.
And they're comin' here to arrest ye. | You better get goin' while the goin's good.
Why should I run? I've just found out | that Tower's behind all this!
Well, maybe he is. But you can prove | it better without a rope around your neck.
His horse ain't anywhere around.
I'll go around back and take a look.
Hurry!
He'll run into a dead end up there.
Yeah, he'll have to quit his horse | if he's gonna get out.
Dismount! Take your rifles! | Scatter out!
There's his horse!
Alright, Hickok! Come out, | we've got ya surrounded!
It came from down that way!
I oughtta've known that Nicolas Tower was a skunk.
Why, Calamity?
He tipped his hat to me once.
Well, a gentleman's supposed to tip | his hat to a lady.
That's when I shoulda catched on. I ain't no lady.
Ah, quit braggin' about yourself, Calamity.
You know, Bill, that Tower almost broke | his neck tryin' to pin the blame on you.
You reckon he's tied in with them Overland Raiders?
All the trails lead his way.
The Overland Raiders are no penny-annie outfit.
They've got money behind them.
And brains. They've got strains out all over the territory!
I didn't tell ya about it, Bill, but that feller Red, | ya know, the one we brung in...
He was found dead in his cell.
Somebody shot 'em.
Trouble is, we can't get ahold o' the right string.
When we do, we'll find Tower on the other end of it.
Say, what're ya up to, Bill?
I've got an idea I wanna go through Tower's office.
Are you plumb loco?
You'll be ridin' smackdab into your own necktie party!
Why, don't stand there gapin' at me, ya young squirt.
We ain't gonna let 'em go alone, are we?
Oh, stop growlin' at me, you old mossback.
And climb onto your Cayoose, if ya got the strength.
Come on.
He's up to his elbows in a poker game, | right in his office.
Well, I've got to break it up someway.
You leave that to Uncle Gabby and me.
Say, wait a minute. I got a right to know | what I'm gettin' into.
This won't be nothin' new to you, | ya old hoss. Beat it!
Ladies and gentlemen!
And my friend!
As most of ya know, me and Calamity had our | outfit broke up by the Overland Raiders.
Now we ain't askin' ye to grubstake us...
But Calamity here's gonna put on a little show.
And if any o' you Christian-hearted folks | like it, well, we ain't turnin' down no donations.
This here be the first high-class | entertainment seen in these parts...
... since them actor folks put on Shakespeare's omelet.
It gives me great pleasure to introduce a prairie | nightingale, Calamity Jane Canary!
Tamales! Tamales!
I'll tell you a story | of fortune and glory
That came to a Mexican vendor
The seedy hillbilly | made wonderful chili
Each bean was delicious and tender
His crops were all bumpers | of Mexican jumpers
The beans were as sprightly as elves
A guy could do this, sir, | Just open his kisser
The beans would jump in by themselves!
Tamales! Tamales!
He'd shout and he'd sell out, by golly
All over the nation, | they cheered the creation
- This should be good. | - ... of jolly tamales, you bet!
His fortunes were growing | but ill winds were blowing
And right with the breeze came a lady
His beautiful dolly was monikered Molly
and Molly's intentions were shady
She schemed and misled him | and then when she wed him
She took every cent in his jeans
She knew how to hook him, | and, oh, how she shook him!
She left him with nothing but beans!
Oh! Tamales! Tamales!
The dough that he made went to Molly
Poor Charlie, poor Charlie!
He's paying a price for his folly
He thinks love is silly | He's back selling chili
And putting his heart in tamales!
Well, how 'bout you gents? You goin' | to chip in somethin'?
Alright. Come into my office. I'll give ya | some chips and you can cash 'em at the bar.
Well, I don't know about that now. I --
Go ahead now.
Alright, Hickok. Get 'em up.
It's Bill Hickok!
Let's get Louise!
They got Bill. He's down at the marshal's office.
Oh, Gabby, what'll they do with him?
They won't treat 'em like company.
- Is he hurt? | - Only his feelin's.
Gettin' caught by the local marshal ain't | the kinda catchin' Bill's used to.
They musta snuck up like a coyote. | They never got the drop on him.
Bill didn't come into town!?
Well, we got a hunch Tower knows | 'bout that gold robbery.
Bill was goin' through his office lookin' for evidence.
Tower...
Why, of course, I should've known he --
Come on.
Bill, they can't hold you, can they?
Well, I don't know. The marshal's awful set in his ways.
Bill is innocent, do ya hear?
Yes, I hear ya, miss, but I ain't | payin' much attention to what you're sayin'.
Well, perhaps you will. All of you.
Particularly you, Mr. Tower.
Listening to a charming lady is always interesting.
Yes. Especially when she's fool enough | to give you important information.
That's what I did, gentlemen.
The day Bill took the stage out, I | told Tower they weren't carrying the gold.
Why did you tell him?
Because he hinted that Bill was to be | held up by Southern sympathizers...
...and that he might be able to prevent it.
Them wasn't no Southern gentlemen | that took that gold from me!
Tower couldn't've known ya had it.
Well, he was snoopin' around my outfit!
Likely as not, he smelled it.
I'm afraid you're trying to make me entirely too clever.
It takes a smart man to guide the Overland Raiders.
Are you insinuating that I have something | to do with them?
I believe you're their leader.
That's what I call darn plain insinuatin'!
Your charge is serious enough, but ya | haven't much foundation for it.
What do you say, Tower?
There we go. That dude'll fancy | talk all of us into jail.
No. I intend to be very blunt, gentlemen.
She's lying.
And the reason is obvious.
She's engaged to Hickok and would trump up | any kind of a story to save him.
They're both Southern sympathizers who've | been working together ever since they came here.
Don't let 'em talk his way outta this --
I understand Ms. Mason has strong connections in the South.
Her father's an officer in the Confederate Army.
Yes, but if you didn't have agents all over | the country, you wouldn't know it.
What do you think, marshal?
Well, I certainly can't take Ms. Mason's | unsupported word.
Especially when I know she helped Hickok escape.
Thank you, marshal.
Now if there are any further questions, you'll | find me in my place of business.
Pardon me.
Thank you.
You ain't gonna let 'em go like that, are ye?
You're gonna kick yourself all over | the county for this, marshal.
Now you listen to me.
You've all done your best to help Hickok, | and I don't wanna have any more trouble with you.
From now on, ya better be careful | what ya do and what ya say.
That's all!
That's enough.
The war's over! Lee surrendered!
Here, read about it!
- What'd you say? | - Said the war's over!
Lee surrendered!
Did he surrender?
This is gonna make a big difference.
To your government, perhaps, but not mine.
We'll move that gold as quickly | as we can and get out of here ourselves.
To California?
With the North and the South | both exhausted, we must strike.
The armies will be demobilized with all | possible haste.
They're half-starved. And when men are | hungry, gold is a tempting commodity.
Do you really intend to recruit an army | and take over California?
My friend, you don't expect me | to take it over single-handedly!
No, of course not.
I'm with ya, Tower. But what about | this here Mr. Lincoln?
I'm wondering what he might do.
This here Mr. Lincoln might do many | things, if he had the time.
Well, I'm glad to hear you sold | your place to profit.
But I hate to see ya go, Tower.
Well, now that the war is over, I think | there are better opportunities in California.
- Good-bye, gentlemen. | - Good-bye and good luck.
- Bye. | - Bye.
- Mornin', Bill! | - Hello, Calamity.
Where's Tower goin'?
Pullin' out fer Californ-y.
I bet he's got that gold with him.
I wish I could prove it.
Say, here's the latest. | Came in on the mornin' stage.
Death to all tyrants.
John Wilkes Booth.
Say, Gabby. John Wilkes Booth's signature | was on a letter I saw in Tower's office.
He closed it by sayin' 'Death to all tyrants'.
Do you realize what that means?
Tower's tied in with a nationwide plot to wreck the Union!
The holy union, eh?
Ya don't say!
Well, I've got to get outta here.
Yeah, but how?
I got an idea. Get ready fer whatever happens!
Calamity, you go get them horses.
Tie that around the bars.
Alright, Steve, get goin'!
What happened?
Oh, look, the wheels are off!
There's the wheels over...
How we gonna stop all them fellers?
Can't we surround 'em?
Looks like Morrell and his whole gang.
Well, if it is, the smartest thing | we can do is learn to love 'em.
Chances are, the marshal's trailin' us.
We'll go back.
You can't do that. You'll be stickin' | your neck in the noose again.
Well, he's got to listen to me this time.
Tower and all the Overland Raiders are makin' | the getaway with all that stolen gold!
Is this another one o' your tricks?
It's the truth, so help me! We just | seen 'em with our own eyes!
Alright, Hickok. I'll give ya another | chance, but you better be right this time.
This way.
Something's happened! There's | a posse following us!
They don't look peaceful! We better run for it!
They've seen us!
Every man for himself! Spread out!
Surround the Raiders before they get away!
I'll try to strike the wagon!
Alright, Tower.
Way to cover, Bill!
Nothin' much I can say to ya, Hickok, | but I don't forget very easy.
Well, that's alright with me.
I'm pretty forgetful myself, marshal.
But if ya ever need me to do a good turn...
... don't forget to jog my memory.
How 'bout payin' for that | stagecoach you wrecked?
I said jog it, not jolt it.
Giddyup!
We're gonna have a cowboy weddin'
When the sage is all abloom
To the mountains we'll be headin'
For our sunny honeymoon
We're gonna drink in all the sunshine
Long the banks of some cool stream
Just to laugh and play | the livelong day
Build a cabin of our dreams
We wanna hear guitars a-ringin'
When they play our weddin' tune
Down the aisle you'll find a-swingin'
In the early part of June
Within a year, we have no fear
A lullaby will croon
We're gonna have a cowboy weddin'
When the sage is all a--
Majors and Waddell are comin'!
If you're ever gonna get married, ya better | not let 'em catch ya again!
Have ya seen Bill Hickok?
No, and what's more, you ain't gonna | see 'em, neither.
They've absconded, eloped, departed, | and left for parts unknown.
Well, that's too bad. We got a weddin' present for 'em.
- Huh? | - Yeah.
The reward money for cleanin' out | the Overland Raiders.
Why, I... Hey, Bill!
- Bill! | - Bill, wait!