You're Ugly Too (2015) Movie Script

Do you think we could get some
heat in this car?
What's the matter, you cold?
F..k right I'm cold.
Where'd you learn to speak
like that?
Obviously not from you.
The heat's coming. As soon as
the engine's warm, we'll be warm.
The heater's broken, you eijit.
Yeah, do you want to bring it back?
Bring it back to your man and get
our 300 euros back?
Mam never told me why you were
in prison.
Well, are you going to tell me
or what?
I don't really want to
talk about it.
Why not?
I just don't, that's why.
217 McCauley Caravan Park
on the Clonaslee Road.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a
phone, there'll be a landline.
I know, I will call you
when I get the number.
I was there, yeah,
I know the terms. 8:00 pm...
Every night, yes.
She's in the car.
Fine, I suppose, considering...
Actually, I have to go.
Talk to you later, yeah?
Stacey, wake up!
What is it?
Are you alright?
Are you tired?
Did you not sleep last night
or something?
Yeah, I am fine.
Can we just go?
You look pretty pale.
I said I am fine.
How long 'til we get there?
Half an hour.
I have to pee.
Don't worry, we'll be there soon.
No, I have to go now. When I say
I have to pee, I mean it.
I have to pee,
I'm not kidding around!
I don't think we have enoug time,
you know, it's getting late.
Look, there's a spot right there.
You can't just pee
on the side of the road.
Pull over or I'm gonna pee
in your new car!
What the hell are you doing?
What d'you mean what am I doing?
I thought you said you're not
allowed pee beside the road!
Just hurry up will you.
People can see you there!
Can't you take a piss
without an audience anymore?
I think they're enjoying the view.
- They're beepin' at ya, ya idiot.
- Beepin' with me I think.
Where d'ya say
those train tracks go?
Who cares?
Come on.
Step back.
I don't understand why we're
staying in a s..y caravan... the middle of nowhere.
Your mother owned this caravan.
What? Mam owned this caravan?
Why did she own a caravan here?
We used to come here
when we were kids.
Who's your friend?
They really never
brought you here, no?
She probably did you just don't
remember, you were too young.
We have no food.
Yeah, there is.
Do you not like cat food?
That's disgusting.
We're not eating cat-food.
Delicious. Ok, fine,
we'll eat the cat so, will we?
Do you wanna go in the oven?
He does.
Got any matches?
- You have a weird sense of humour.
- Come on, oven.
- Mam never liked that about you.
What? She never said that,
did she?
She didn't have to.
She implied it.
Did she never tell you the joke...
...about the fella who goes to the
doctor for a physical? No?
She never told you that? That was
her all-time favourite joke.
I didn't know she told jokes.
Well she did when she was your
age. Do you want to hear it or not?
Yeah, alright.
Ok, So this fella goes to the
doctor for a physical...
...and he does all these tests,
blood pressure...
...MRI scans...
- What?
Cholesterol, you know,
all these tests they do... make sure you are
in tip top medical condition.
The doctor says "When the results
come in, we'll give you a call."
So the guy leaves the office.
C..p. I have to make a phone call.
I'll tell you the rest later.
Where are you going?
I have to make a phone call now.
- Hello?
- Hello, Mr Hogan?
Yeah, yeah...
Can you tell me
your number there?
It is 0-5-7-9-1-2-1-2-6-3.
Okay let me get a pen here.
Right, and what's the address?
I already gave you an address.
Hey, Stacey wake up!
Where are we?
You're with me.
What's going on?
I'm only gone like two minutes and
you're passed out on the floor.
Is everything ok with you?
Yeah. Is everything OK with you?
I'm just asking because this is the
second time it's happened today.
I'm just tired that's all.
Yeah, alright.
Get up.
So Stacey,
when did these attacks start?
Around six weeks ago.
Well, they're not caused by
mental illness...
...they're usually triggered by
feelings of intense anxiety...
...or stress or some other kind of
heightened emotion.
Her mother did pass away recently.
Sorry to hear that.
Is there a cure?
I mean, she supposed to stop
falling asleep... the middle of the day?
Well, there's no cure I'm afraid.
But there is medication available.
I'd like to start Stacey on a
course of methylphenidate. HCI.
30 milligrams a day to begin with.
It's a mild stimulant... amphetamine. It'll keep her
awake during the day, so...
...she can sleep better at night.
It is quite expensive though.
Of course it is.
Hey, do you fancy an ice cream?
But we didn't have dinner yet.
Dinner? You don't have to have
dinner to have ice cream.
Ice cream tastes much better
before dinner.
Never had it before dinner, no?
- How are you doing?
- Hi, good.
We'd like some ice cream.
You alright there Richie?
You know you have to pay for that.
Piss off, I made it myself!
You little brat!
Sorry, I'll be back in a minute.
I think I like this town.
I can't eat this!
Don't be such a baby.
It's stolen property.
- I don't wanna go to prison.
- Why not?
Cause people like you are there.
What? Do you want it or not?
Don't forget to take these now.
Can I have that?
- No.
- Why not?
Cause I'm still hungry that's why.
And you're fat enough as it is.
Fat? That's not very nice.
That's why I said it.
This cereal is loaded with sugar.
I know. That's what makes it
so yummy.
I forgot my toothbrush. Can I have
some money to get a new one?
The shops will all be closed now.
Here, you can use mine.
My name is Emily.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry it's so late.
- Go back to bed.
You go back to bed.
Shut up, go back to bed.
I live two caravans up that way.
I'm sorry to call on you
so late, but...
...I was wondering if... Do you
think I could come in for a minute?
I don't think, you know,
it's just a little bit...
Yeah, come in.
Yeah, sure. Come on in.
Come on!
Stay there.
Open up!
Hello. Can I help yous?
We know she's in there.
Who's that?
We saw her go in.
Hang on a second, there's no one
in there apart from daughter.
I think yous have had a bit too
much to drink, have yous?
Do you mind if I slept on your
couch, just for tonight?
Do you think that's
such a good idea?
I'd prefer to stay here.
There's no one else in there.
Then why won't you let us in?
You think we're stupid,
is that it?
Who were those men?
One of them, the third one,
Tibor, he's my husband.
Did he do that to you?
No. I know it looks bad, but he
would never hurt me.
- Is my wife in there?
- Your wife?
His friends are angry...
...they were let go
at the factory today.
He's lying!
She is in there!
I saw her go in!
She's not, yeah?
- No.
You OK?
You sure?
Sorry about all this, ok?
I'm sorry they took it out on you.
You can stay in my room if you
want. I'll sleep on the couch.
Do you want an orange?
An orange?
You offered her an orange?
Don't say it like that.
There's no other way to say it.
It sounds weird the way you say it.
It is weird.
That's why it sounds weird!
That's a weird thing to say.
I think she might like you despite
the whole oranges disaster.
Yeah, yeah...
She left you the note.
It's just a thank you note.
So? It's a sign.
A sign? What do you know
about signs?
I know one when I see one.
She's married, OK?
And? What do you mean "and"?
She's married, that's it.
Have you ever heard of this thing
called "cheating?"
Shut up.
Eat your breakfast.
I am.
Cheating! What do you know
about cheating?
More than you.
Hey, come here. You really have to
stop doing that.
I've been doing it since I was
five. I can't just stop now.
How about this?
For every day you get through,
without spitting...
...I'll give you five bucks, yeah?
- Ten.
- Five.
- Eight.
- Five.
- Six.
- Five.
Come on.
That doesn't count.
Would you mind
filling out this forms?
Can I fill them in?
Yeah, sure.
Bet you don't know my birthday?
April 13th.
Bet you don't know mine?
I know it's in February sometime...
I'm afraid there's a bit of a
problem here.
You had to tell them about the
narcolepsy, didn't you?
You're mad at me
cause I told the truth?
Hi. How are you?
This is my son Richie.
Hi there.
Richie this is Will and Stacey.
Say hi.
Sorry. Are you guys not going to
school today?
Yeah. No, we run into some
...with her registration.
- Yeah?
Yeah, just some insurance stuff.
Ok, I see.
Epey ge kaldk, gitsek iyi olacak.
Hoa kaln.
Can you stop that?
Ok, come on!
Now, name five countries
in Latin America.
Brazil, Argentina, Chile,
Uruguay, Paraguay...
OK, that's good.
Very good.
Ok, name five countries
in Central America.
I'm bored.
Yeah, would you rather be
at school?
Actually, yes I would.
Yeah, well too bad.
Come on, answer the question.
Come on.
Come on.
You got me in the eye!
Jesus! F..k.
What did you do that for?
- Shoulda seen your face.
- P..k!
Don't look at me.
Hi, sorry for disturbing you
like this again.
That's ok.
I was thinking about
the trouble you had...
...with Stacey's registration
at school.
And, well I'm a teacher.
I'm not working at the moment,
but I taught primary school... Belgium for four years
before I moved here.
Ok, yeah.
If you wanted,
I could tutor Stacey...
...until she can go to school?
You know, in return for your help
last night.
What are you cooking?
Salmon, some mixed vegetables,
green beans.
What country is that in?
Would you guys like to stay
for dinner?
No. Thank you.
We really can't.
Yes, please.
What's wrong?
I think the oven's broken.
What do you need it for?
To cook the salmon.
Wrap it in cling film and
put it in the dishwasher...
...without any soap or plates.
What? You want me to wrap...
Do you think I came down
in the last shower, do you?
Not with those wrinkles you didn't.
Look, I'm telling you. Mam used to
do it all the time...
...when the oven broke.
Wrap it in cling film and
put it in the dishwasher.
The dishwasher?
This salmon is delicious.
How did you cook it?
...steamed it.
Belikal msn yani?
But you sound French.
Well. I speak French.
- Can you speak some French now?
- Stacey, come on.
What's the French for douche-bag?
I think that's mostly
French already.
But I can teach you a
French saying if you like.
After you've had a delicious meal
such as this, you could say:
"C'est le petit Jsus
en culotte de velours."
That means the food was delicious?
No... Literally, it means...
...the baby Jesus in velvet pants.
I know it's weird, but that's
what you would say after...
...a nice bottle of wine
or a delicious meal.
The Baby Jesus in velvet pants.
It doesn't make any sense!
I know! I don't really
understand it myself.
I like it.
Me too.
Sorry, I'll be back in
five minutes, yeah.
Where is he gone?
He's probably gone to call his
probation officer.
His what?
He has to call his probation
officer every evening... eight o'clock.
Why does he have a
probation officer?
Cause he was released from prison
last week.
Looks like you have a date
tomorrow night.
I do not.
Do too.
She's coming back.
Yeah. She's coming back
to tutor you.
- I think she likes you.
- Bulls..t.
We'll see.
And anyway how can it be a date
if she's coming to see you?
It's just an excuse dummy.
Girls do that all the time.
Nothing. I just wanted to say
good night.
What about... Do you want a
goodnight hug or anything?
Not really.
Why not?
I just don't think
it's a good idea.
I just don't feel like it.
You know, there are lots of people
that would hug me.
Who? Who would hug you?
A lot of people.
Let him be, ok?
You look strong.
Do you think you are strong?
I don't know.
I bet you would be surprised by
how strong you are. Come on.
You're like a million times
bigger than me.
The point is to try.
I bet you are strong. Come on.
Come on.
No. Like this. Yeah.
These are the rules.
Come on. Come on.
You can do it.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
I was wrong. Sorry.
You're very weak, even for a girl.
You're supposed to let me win!
I don't think so.
I thought you were strong.
Come on.
Hurry up, what the hell
are you doing in there?
Vomiting if you must know.
Where were you last night?
Out with who?
Just out with friends.
You don't have any friends.
OK then, I was just out.
You look like s..t.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Are you finished?
You nearly hit me
in the face there!
Sorry about that.
I think part of your toe nail is
in my cereal.
No wait, it's just a cornflake.
I'll get you next time.
Where are we going?
Job hunting.
Why did we have to get up
so early?
Well, you know what the
early bird does, right?
Yeah, he catches the f..g worm.
You're gonna have to
stop talking like that...
...if you're hanging around
with me, yeah?
What age are you again?
Eleven. Do you know what I was
doing when I was eleven?
I don't know,
probably something illegal.
No smart-mouth it wasn't illegal.
I was working.
Working on people's nerves I bet.
Hey is for horses.
How long since you last worked
in a bar?
About four years.
How come?
I spent a bit of time in prison.
When did you get out?
Last week.
- Were you innocent?
- No.
Doesn't my honesty
count for anything?
That position's been taken
I'm afraid.
- What are you doing here?
- Looking for work.
Come in.
My friend is sick today, ok? Maybe
you can help me out, you know?
I'm not so sure that's a good idea.
Are you searching for work or not?
Ok then, I have work for you.
Come in.
You too.
Hey man, I'm sorry about the other
My friends, you know,
they have a hot temper.
I wouldn't worry about it.
I'm used to it.
Ok, we are ok yeah?
Maybe you are wondering how a
woman like Emilie ends up...
...with a guy like me.
- No, not really.
- Yeah, actually.
You know, in her spare time
she likes to write poetry.
In my spare time,
I like to drink.
We are very different she and I.
Do you think she is attractive?
I never really thought about it.
You're lying.
But that's OK.
Thanks for today, man.
There you go.
- Thank you.
I could use someone to help me
tomorrow if you have time or...
Ok. Give us a shout.
Ok, good man.
Holy s..t!
What's the matter with this?
My eyes! You're actually hurting
my eyes with this outfit!
Shut up will ya man.
This is like GQ s..t.
You look like a freakin' optical
illusion or something.
It's lovely, ok?
Who are you going out with
I'm going out with you.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- Dressed like that?
- Yeah.
I'd love to have a go at her.
Don't you have a wife or
What does that have to do
with anything?
I'd still love to have a go at her.
No, I get it!
What about you?
What about me?
I saw the way you look at Emilie.
- What?
- I don't mind.
If you want to
have a go at her, go on.
Ok, time is up.
Hand it over.
Stacey, that's enough.
Do you wanna drive?
Come on give me the sponge.
Come on, hurry up.
F..k sake...
What are you doin'?
It's cheap.
Stop it.
I gotta go.
Have you got any money? No?
Do a good job and I'll
let you drive it later, yeah?
He really has to call his
probation officer every night?
What happens if he doesn't?
I don't know.
You'd have to ask him.
How come you always carry a
skateboard around with you?
It was a present from Mam.
You think Emilie was acting
a little strange today?
Not really.
I don't know, I thought she was
different or something.
Maybe because she knows
you were in prison.
Who told her that?
Relationships are built on
honesty Will.
I just met her.
I don't have a relationship
with her!
She's a good lookin woman.
What did you tell her that for?
- Cause you weren't going to.
- Yes I was actually.
No you weren't.
She's a good lookin woman.
Yeah I know, you said that already.
Look, I could help you out.
You could help me out?
How exactly?
Well, I have ways.
But there's a...
...few grey hairs there though that
we'll have to get rid of.
You've got a big mouth.
I'd rather have a big mouth than be
going grey.
Look. I'll get you a bottle of hair
dye. We'll sort you out.
The look. That's a great look.
Do you wanna play a game?
What kind of game?
- Do you want to play a game or not?
- Ok.
Ok. I spy.
That's for babies.
Are you afraid
you're going to lose?
No. It's just a c..p game.
If you're afraid of losing,
that's OK.
Fine, I'll play.
I'm going first.
I spy, with my little eye,
something beginning with "R."
"R", ok. "R." That's easy, "R."
- Rack.
- Wrong.
I don't know, give up. Can't see
anything else beginning with "R."
You give up way too easy.
Just tell me.
Racoon? What racoon? There's not
even any racoons in this country.
You're allowed make it up!
No you're not! Who taught you
how to play this game?
Don't be a sore loser.
I am not being...
You can't just make things up.
You can't do thet.
What's the point of the game then?
That's the way me
and Mam used to play!
Do you miss her?
You must miss her.
So, you don't have to answer this
if you don't want to, but...
...they released you from prison
to look after Stacey?
They gave me something called
temporary compassionate leave... I could look after her.
Rather than moving her...
...from foster home to foster home.
In certain cases, they think
it's better if the kid stays...
...with a family member.
You're not her father?
No, I'm her uncle.
- What happened to her parents?
- Her father's dead...
...and her mom, my sister,
passed away...
...just six weeks ago.
Stacey found her on the
kitchen floor.
Are you out, you know, for good,
I mean forever?
We have this welfare assessment
interview next week.
If that goes well, yeah, maybe.
How do you think she's doing?
It's hard to tell.
Hey, you know, I have to go.
We just got here.
Yeah, sorry but there's somewhere
I really need to be.
You know, I have to make a
phone call. Stacey! We have to go!
We can take her.
No problem.
Thanks, see ya.
Can I ask you a question?
Why was Will in prison?
I can't say. It's private.
You don't know either, do you?
But we can find out.
Stacey, I don't know if this is
such a good idea.
Don't worry about it.
Here we go. I found something.
What is it?
You know there's something
we need to talk about.
We have our welfare assessment
meeting coming up next week.
And if it goes well, you'll be let
stay with me for good.
You won't have to go back
into foster care.
They won't keep moving you around
all the time.
Don't you mean they'll let you
stay out of prison...
...if the interview goes well.
Well, yeah. But that's not exactly
the reason why...
Isn't it true you're only
taking care of me... keep you out of prison?
Stacey there's more to it than
that, you know.
Tell me why you went to
prison then?
Tell me this thing that nobody
ever wants to talk about...
...not even Ma.
What did you do that was so bad?
What's got into you?
I already know what you did,
I just want to hear it from you.
Why didn't anyone tell me?
Look at me.
It was an accident.
They don't send people to prison
for accidents!
Why didn't you tell me?
Stacey... know...
And I know you've been
taking my pills.
So I guess you're a
drug-addict as well.
Stacey. Where are you going?
We can talk.
Stacey, get back in the car.
Where are you going?
Stacey, get back in...
Stacey. Stacey...
Listen, I was protecting you.
I was protecting you and
your mother, that night...
...that's all you need to know,
that's all that matters.
Jesus! Stacey!
Can you hurry up? I'm in a rush.
Can you move your car please?
What the f..k?
What the f..k you doing?
What do you think you are doing?
My keys!
How are you feeling?
Did they give you stitches?
I don't know.
Looks like paper stitches
or something.
Does it hurt?
Yeah, my head is killing me.
Hey, don't touch it.
- When do I get out of here?
- This evening maybe.
That's what they said anyway. They
gave me a refill of your tablets.
Said to make sure
you keep taking them.
- Mr Hogan?
- Yeah?
- You have a phone call.
- Ok.
I better take that.
Back in a minute.
You missed your phone curfew
Yeah I know, I'm sorry about that.
Your landlord gave me this number.
Said your niece had
some kind of accident?
Yes, but she's ok now,
you know, she is...
The only reason you're still
walking around is the...
...extenuating circumstances
with her.
I realise that.
OK. Your welfare assessment's been
moved up to Monday afternoon...
...three o'clock.
The HSE building in town.
Hold on, I was told
it was next week.
The board will assess
whether you have the ability...
...and the necessary means
to care for your niece.
You miss another phone curfew,
and I'm serious.
There will be a Garda escort
to take you back in.
Do you understand that?
So, we got this welfare interview
on Monday.
They're gonna decide whether
or not you're going to be...
...allowed to stay living with me.
Before we get to that,
you have to tell me something.
I don't understand why
you're taking my pills?
I don't really know either.
Are you a drug addict or something?
I don't think so.
- You don't think so?
I mean, yes.
Did you really...
I mean is it true... killed my Dad
even if it was an accident?
You know I was the first person to
hold you after you were born?
Before even your Mam.
Did you know that?
You were so warm. You were like
you'd just come out of the oven.
Like I'd just come out of the oven?
You were red hot.
I was hot?
That doesn't sound right.
You were very warm.
Your Mam and Dad were fighting in
the upstairs bedroom...
...when I arrived that night.
I grabbed him, to get him off her.
And he hit his head on the dressing
table when he went down.
That's it. That's all.
But, you see, the thing is.
I'd threatened him...
...the week before, in the pub.
I said I'd kill him...
...if he ever laid a hand on her
again. And I meant it.
It wasn't the first time
he'd hit her.
So because I threatened him,
that's intent.
Yeah, so they had me there.
Three months becomes three years.
And, I got into a bit of
trouble inside as well...
...which was not entirely my fault,
at least most of it anyway.
And I ended up with
four years and a bit.
You know I love you, don't you?
I mean, I know I've never said
anything about it but...
...I mean you know that, don't you?
Is that you or the beer talking?
Actually, that's me
talking to the beer.
Have you got any make-up or
anything that you could...
...cover that up with?
How do I look?
Let's get this s..t over with then.
You better not talk like that
in the interview.
So what happens now?
Can they appeal?
Yeah, we can appeal.
Could take time though.
Weeks, months even.
In the meantime, he'll have to
return to prison tomorrow and...
...serve the remainder
of the sentence.
I have to rush off,
I have another appointment.
Thanks anyway.
What are you going to do?
Did you ever think...
...once you found out
how babies are made...
...that maybe everything just
goes downhill after that?
You know what I mean, that feeling
you had when you're a kid.
That weightlessness, you know...
It's gone forever?
There is an old Romanian saying:
"A cow between two bales of hay
will go hungry."
I don't think I understand...
If the cow is the same distance
away from both bales of hay... cannot make any rational
decision to choose... over the other.
So... dies of hunger.
I still don't think I understand.
Am I supposed to be the cow?
You're one of the bales of hay.
I know I'm supposed to go back
inside today but...
- OK, calm down.
- ...just listen to me.
Now, I'm just thinking. I'm not
saying that I'm gonna do this...
...or anything but I'm just
What if I run?
Run? What do you mean "run"?
Isn't there a seven year Statue of
Limitations? Or something?
If I stay out of trouble for seven
years then they can't touch me...
Statute of limitations?
That doesn't apply here Will.
You come back inside,
and you do the remaining...
...six months of your sentence.
I can't go back in.
Yes, you can. I respect that
you want to stay with her...
...but she is not your daughter.
- I know she's not my daughter.
But she's the only familiy
I have left.
It just doesn't make
any sense to run.
You're so close to your release.
Just sit tight, OK?
There will be someone
from prison services or...
...the Guards there soon enough
to bring you back.
We'll talk about this
when you're back.
We have to leave.
Did you hear me?
We have to go!
Am I doing homework here
or what?
Stacey, we're leaving, right now.
They're coming for me.
If you don't pack your bags
in the next ten minutes...
...I'm leaving without you.
Where are we going?
We just got here.
They're gonna put you in a home and
they are gonna put me back inside.
And all that is gonna happen
in the next 45 minutes...
...if we don't get a move on.
But I like it here,
what if I don't want to leave?
Emilie is going to come with us.
Do you know what that means?
We'll be together, like a family.
Come on!
Come on!
You haven't spit today.
Yeah, you owe me 5 euros.
Is Emilie there?
She left.
She's not here.
Six years of marriage,
vanished just like that.
What are you talking about? I don't
understand. Where'd she go?
She left a note.
- A note?
- Yeah.
What did it say?
I don't know, I burned it.
But I mean, did she... I was only
talking to her last night.
Did she... Have you got
any idea where...
She is gone! She is gone!
She took Richie and
now she's not here ok?
F..k off!
Is she not in?
What were you saying to her
last night?
What are you looking for?
Will, I don't think you should be
doing this.
Where are the pills?
Will, don't.
Where are the pills?
There! If you really want them!
Jesus Christ!
You're very funny!
Shoulda seen your face.
I got your letters.
I got yours too.
You never mentioned
the new hairstyle.
What do you think?
Do you like it?
I'll give you a piece of advice.
Yeah, what's that?
You shouldn't wear your hair like
that. You look like a Russian boy.
No I don't!
Yeah, you do!
Glad to see prison
hasn't changed you.
Guess what's happening
next week?
- I don't know, next week?
- It's your birthday you fool.
That's right, so it is.
What are we going to do?
What are we gonna do?
I don't know.
What are we going to do?
What would you like to do?
It's your birthday. It doesn't
matter what I want to do.
Can I have a dog for when
it's my birthday?
- Christmas?
- No.
- Both together?
- No.
Christmas and my birthday?
You want me to hit you, is that it?
Jesus, You're only out of prison
and you're talking about...
...hitting a child. I don't know
what I'm going to do with you.
So... What's the story on you
being a drug-addict?
I'm better, I think.
Thanks for your concern.
Are you out for good this time?
What are you gonna do?
My probation officer's arranged
some work for me.
That's good.
It's down in Cork.
I'm starting tomorrow.
I was thinking, maybe, if you
wanted, you could come with me.
I don't know.
I should probably stay where I am.
For now.
Yeah. Yeah, that's probably...
That's probably the best.
I have to go.
Send me your address when you know
and I'll write you a letter.
Yeah. OK, I'll do that.
It just looks better on you.
You never told me the rest of that
stupid joke.
Yeah. This guy goes to the doctor
for a routine physical.
They do all the tests,
and the doctor says:
"When the results come back,
we'll give you a call."
So the guy goes home.
The next day his phone rings.
- The guy?
- The guy, yeah, the guy.
Not the doctor?
No, not the doctor, the guy!
He gets the call.
He picks it up.
- No need to get mad.
- Stop interrupting me!
So the guy picks up the phone,
the doctor says:
"I'm sorry to tell you,
I have got some very bad news.
You've only six weeks to live."
So the fella says: "I'm gonna
wanna a second opinion."
And the doctor says:
"You want a second opinion?
OK. You're ugly too."
I don't get it.
I don't know what I'm going to do
with you. Really.
Why do anything?
Well, something has to be done.
I'm perfect the way I am.