Zeroville (2019) Movie Script

None of what I have told you
has been picked up by the press.
It will.
In fact, until the
Guild sorts it out,
this picture is officially
directed by nobody.
We are unofficially scheduled
to screen at Venice,
which the rational thought
might be to pull out,
but if we were to do that,
between the official un-director
and the unofficial withdrawal
from the unofficial
Venice selection,
what we'd wind up with is a
very fucking official disaster.
Which brings us to you.
It's a hard world
to get a break in
All the good things
have been taken
But girl there are ways
to make certain things pay
Though I'm dressed in these
rags I'll wear sable someday
Hear what I say
I'm gonna ride the serpent
No more time spent
sweatin' rent
Hear my command
I'm breakin' loose
it ain't no use
Holdin' me down
Stick around
But baby baby
Remember remember
It's my life and
I'll do what I want
It's my mind and I'll
think what I want
Show me I'm wrong
hurt me sometime
But some day I'll
treat you real fine
There'll be women
and their fortunes
Who just want to
mother orphans
Are you gonna cry when
I'm squeezin' the rye
Takin' all I can
get no regrets
When I
What the fuck are
you doing up there?
Get down here now!
I had to pee.
I said now!
Fuckin' freak.
Ike Jerome?
What's the Ike short for?
It's just Ike.
Ike from Ohio.
Oh, Ike from Pennsylvania?
What are
doing in Hollywood, huh?
You here to score some weed?
The movies.
Oh, the movies.
What do you do in the movies?
I don't do anything yet.
I'm starting a job
tomorrow, building sets.
She look familiar?
Take a fuckin' look,
huh, you recognize her?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
The Valley of the Dolls!
She's married to Roman Polanski!
Repulsion, Knife in the
Water, Rosemary's Baby!
You fucking slaughtered her,
- didn't you, Ike?
- No!
- You slaughtered her!
- No!
You fucking slaughtered her!
"Pigs" on the door,
written in blood!
Is that an insult to us, huh?
Are we fucking pigs?
Do I look like a pig to you?
You wanna fucking stick
me like a pig, bitch!
You fucking try it!
You don't look like pigs.
Then what's up with
the fucking James
Dean and Natalie Wood?
It's Montgomery Clift.
Who the fuck is
Montgomery Clift!
This here's the shop.
This is where you're gonna
spend 90% of your time.
You're not gonna see any
Hollywood stars down here.
This is where we do
all the real work.
You're gonna build sets,
you're gonna paint sets,
you're gonna repaint 'em.
Sometimes the
scenes get mixed up,
you got to rebuild the
set at a moment's notice.
You took architecture, right?
- Yes.
- Yeah, well, we'll see.
Welcome to Hollywood, kid.
Hear what I say
I'm gonna ride the serpent
No more time spent
sweatin' rent
Hear my command
I'm breakin' loose
It ain't no use
Holdin' me down
Stick around
Baby baby
Remember remember
It's my life and
I'll do what I want
It's my mind and I'll
think what I want
Show me I'm wrong
Hurt me sometime
But someday I'll
treat you real fine
Hey, quiet on set!
Camera speed.
Sound speed.
I forgot my key.
Jenny, I'm sorry.
Love means never having to say...
- You're sor...
- Cut!
You're saying "never".
- Yeah.
- The line is "not ever".
Love means
- Not ever.
- Not ever, okay.
Having to say, okay.
All right, let's try it again.
- All right, back to places.
- What a load of fucking shit.
All right, quiet on set!
Camera speed.
Sound speed.
I forgot my key.
It's like A Place in the Sun.
Love means never
having to say...
- You're sorr...
- Cut.
Sure, it's exactly
like A Place in the Sun,
except that he isn't
Montgomery Clift,
that's not Elizabeth Taylor,
- and Arthur...
- Action.
God love him, sure as
hell isn't Mr. Stevens.
I forget my key.
George Stevens?
Do you know George Stevens?
I'm sorry.
A little.
Dotty Langer.
Love means
never having to say...
- Cut!
- I'm cutting this...
- Allie!
- What?
- Movie.
- You're saying "never"!
- Cutting?
- The line is "not ever"!
- I can't work with...
- I'm the editor.
- It's the same thing!
- Love means...
Not ever!
Then say it right!
It's the same thing!
Holy shit!
Quiet on set!
Had to see it for myself.
Place in the Sun,
meet Red River.
You look like a fuckin' monk!
They call me Viking Man.
Good to meet you, Vicar.
His name's John.
He's writing a
western for Huston.
- Love means never.
- John Huston?
- Having to say you're sorr...
- Cut!
The line is "not ever"!
It's the same thing!
It's not, you're saying "never"!
I don't, I don't understand.
You keep saying "never".
Over and over.
No, I...
You still think it's
like A Place in the Sun?
- No.
- It's a shit line, anyway!
I'm not shooting til Bob's here!
Bob's the new
head of production.
Bob needs to pork her in her
tight little Wellesley ass,
then maybe she'll
get the line right!
John has a charming perspective.
You surf man, you surf?
No, I don't surf.
Hey Viking Man, hey!
Miss McGraw wants you to
get the fuck outta here!
Well, tell Miss McGraw
to learn her fucking lines.
Get the fuck outta here!
Fuck you.
Somebody get me Bob!
Why don't you go buy another
cream colored jacket, tubby?
What'd you say, Viking Man?
Love means not ever
having to say you're sorry,
even I fucking got
it by now, Jesus!
- Piece of shit!
- This is ridiculous!
I'm off this movie!
Have fun with this
turkey, good luck!
Somebody get me fucking Bob!
I'll pick you up
this weekend, okay?
We'll hit the beach.
I don't surf.
Gotta get out of the
office sometimes, Vikar!
He senses an untapped
reservoir of psychosis.
Makes him all wet.
So cute.
Room 928, please.
Okay, room 928.
$40 a night.
I'll have it for one night.
Montgomery Clift
stayed in this room.
Who's McGoverly Cliff?
Hey, Vikar...
joint's there in the glove box.
Pass me one, would you?
There's a gun in here.
It's a .45.
Feel free to point
it, just not at me.
So, why that one?
Which one?
Place in the Sun, why?
It's the first movie I ever saw.
What, when you were a kid?
No, 11 months ago.
You fuckin' kidding me?
Not fucking kidding.
Jesus fucking Christ, Vikar!
Movies are a goddamn birthright!
They show them to
fuckin' prisoners!
Did you grow up in a goddamn
cave in Cambodia or something?
No, a seminary.
In Philadelphia.
Holy shit, you keep getting
better and better, Vikar.
So, what happened?
So you see the Stevens picture,
you have a fucking
psychotic break,
you go to the first tattoo
parlor you can find?
I think it's a very good movie.
And I had a dream.
We all do, Vikar.
We all do.
I can't be the
next Howard Hawks,
because I can't do screwball
comedies or musicals.
I know my limits, Vikar.
I got to settle for being
the next John Ford,
and there you have
it in a scrotum sack.
What I'm settling for, all
these pussies would kill for!
I'm too overpowered.
Where are they
gonna go after me?
Francis, Marty, this fucking
giant space robot guy?
Mister big game.
- Who?
- Or Hitchhike Kong.
He doesn't want to be John Ford.
He wants to be Alfred Hitchcock.
Bon jour, assholes!
This is the Vikar.
He builds churches.
He's an autistic, which means
he lives and breathes movies,
and I'm pretty
sure he's a virgin!
That movie sucks.
It looks like shit.
Well I got about
a dozen East Coast critics
that would say otherwise.
That's great.
There's a scene where a
robot jerks off a guy.
They're droids!
They're droids, okay?
They're droids?
They're not robots,
they're droids?
- They're sentient beings.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- You shut the fuck up, okay?
- Okay, okay, okay.
Fine, fine.
What is everyone
working on right now?
What is your next project?
I got this new idea.
It's a modern Batman
as a taxi driver
who roams the streets
saving prostitutes.
It's much better way
than I use prostitutes.
Is he like plucking
them off the street
and giving them a new home?
How the fuck are
you gonna make a movie
about something
other than the war?
That's all that's fucking
happening right now!
- What are you workin' on?
- Hey, hey!
What, what, what?
I got an idea about this...
great white shark that
terrorizes a town,
like a New England town.
Robot shark.
- Robot shark.
- Robot shark.
Fucking robot!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Why's everything have
to be a goddam robot?
You two can't make
movies together anymore!
No sharing ideas!
- Shut the fuck up!
- They're droids!
They're sentient beings!
I'm gonna shoot this
motherfucker in the face.
Gonna need more booze!
Want a drink?
I've never had alcohol before.
Well you should try it.
It's fucking fantastic.
Who's that?
Where do I start?
Rumor has it her father
is Bunuel illegitimately.
She spent some time in nuthouse.
She was cast, actually,
as the woman who
vanishes in L'Avventura,
but they replaced her
at the last second.
Someone once told
me she's a witch!
And that, 20 minutes
down the sand from here,
she gave Coppola's friend,
Jim Morrison, the blowjob
of a lifetime, channeled
from the fuckin' netherworld
or something like that.
The whole bottle?
You're gonna feel that.
I wanna talk to her.
Well, no time like the present.
Seize the moment!
Are you an actress?
What movies are you in?
Nothing important.
Just a few European movies.
I'm sure they're
very good movies.
Are you a gangster?
Did I know you...
a long time ago?
Sleep it off, Vikar.
Why you!
What's the matter with you?
Oh boy you!
Murray, say somthing' nitwit!
Where are you?
What are you lookin' at?
Your hair.
I think it saved you.
Man, look in the mirror if
you wanna see some freaky shit.
Clifton and Taylor
in the terrace scene
from A Place in the Sun tattooed
on this white mother fucker's
head staring at my head.
That's what it actually is.
Ah, hey man!
Sunset Boulevard!
Apotheosis of
Hollywood's golden age.
I believe it's
a very good movie.
One of the greatest
movie openers of all time.
You got the dead man
floating in the pool,
telling a story from
beyond the grave.
Hey, you know, Montgomery Clift
was supposed to play Joe Gillis.
Billy Wilder wrote
the part for him.
And Monty pulled out
at the last minute,
claiming the role was too
close to his own life.
Hey, you see the
little butler, man?
He's one of the most talented
directors of his time.
He was?
Erich von Stroheim.
He also directed her, Gloria
Swanson, when she was young.
Queen Kelly.
Queen Kelly.
And that's exactly
what they're
watching right there.
- A movie within a movie.
- Mm-hm.
Nothing else.
Just us.
And a camera.
And those wonderful people
out there in the dark.
- All right, Mr. DeMille.
- All right, Mr. DeMille.
- I'm ready for my closeup.
- I'm ready for my closeup.
You work in movies, man?
I build sets.
Ah, I can dig that.
This one of yours?
Looks like a church.
That's not for a movie.
I built that in divinity school.
Oh, man!
My Darling Clemintine!
Ho ho!
Apex of Ford's art, you feel me?
I feel you.
Some people think
it's The Searchers,
which is no doubt one
wicked, badass movie
whenever my man The
Duke is on screen,
evil white racist honky
pig fucker that he his,
but give me Clementine anytime.
I'm gonna let you go.
But I don't want you to
break into my house anymore.
Hey man...
You mind if I...
hang out for a little while?
I'm tired.
Oh, go to sleep, man.
I'm just gonna sit here and
hang with my man, Henry Fonda.
- Okay.
- All right.
You are going
into the services, aren't you?
Yes, ma'am.
When you watch movies,
do you ever dream?
What are you
gettin' on about now?
This is all wrong.
These elements are from
different time periods.
This arch is from
23 years later,
when the character of the
prostitute dies of consumption.
Excuse me?
In 23 years, the
prostitute will die
of consumption under this arch.
Have I received
the latest changes
for the Man of La Mancha script?
It's not in the script.
I'm sorry.
What are you talking about?
It takes place 23
years after the script.
Not on my set!
Change it!
I hear you've been vexing
them over in set design?
I vex people.
Come on in.
Come and sit down here.
I've set up A Place
in the Sun for you.
A Place in the Sun.
I worked on it.
Do you know what an editor does?
Puts the scenes in order
because they were
shot out of order.
That's the first thing.
Now watch this.
I love you.
I've loved you since the
first time I saw you.
Is that the sexiest moment
in the history of the movies?
I love you.
Are they watching us?
No other man could have given
himself over to this scene
the way Monty does.
Hold you next to me.
Between Liz and Monty,
none of the closeups match.
In terms of sheer continuity,
it's all fucked up.
Stevens is going for rhythm!
And intimacy, pure and simple.
If I could only tell you all.
Tell Mama.
Tell Mama all.
Fuck continuity.
Fuck continuity.
Will you teach me how to edit?
That's what I'm doing.
The one over on the left.
Yeah, yeah, that one.
It's good.
It's good.
- Hello?
- Vikar, my man!
You sound far away?
Yeah, 'cause I'm in the fucking
depths of the Philippines!
Good surfin' here!
But look, this call's expensive,
so I'm gonna get right to it.
I need you to come down
here for a couple months.
I wrote a nightmarish war film.
Napalm, wild armies, drugs,
the heart of fuckin' darkness!
We need need someone
to put her up together
while we're shootin' if
we're gonna hit our schedule.
Dotty says you've
got a hell of an eye.
You got a passport, son?
Passport, no.
Of course you don't.
That'll take an extra
day, but we can do it!
No, I can't leave.
Why the fuck not?
I don't...
I don't want to leave Hollywood.
Jesus Christ, Vikar, I love you,
but you're being a
fuckin' pussy right now.
Don't you understand?
This is Hollywood.
What do you mean?
This godforsaken stretch of
jungle is fuckin' Hollywood!
Manila's Holltwood, Paris,
Tokyo, fuckin' Norway!
The only place that isn't
Hollywood is fuckin' Hollywood!
Now get your ass over here!
One minute!
Are you going somewhere?
Right now?
She's getting big.
Yeah, they do that.
Well, it looks like your
career is really taking off.
Mine is going
absolutely nowhere.
You're going nowhere?
I mean, I'm here,
auditioning for a part
in The Long Goodbye.
But I don't think I'll get it.
If I made all the movies,
I'd put you in every single one.
There you are.
Good to see you.
- I made it.
- Yeah.
Here's the story.
We're shooting for eight months.
Everything grinds
to a fuckin' halt
when the big guy shows up.
Last Tango
in Paris, The Wild One,
Streetcar Named Desire.
Yeah, the man himself.
Shh, shh, shh.
Okay, I'll
think of adding more dialogue.
We'll see.
What's going on?
Marlon's being Marlon.
All right, stop!
Okay, Marlon.
I just need you to
say the dialogue.
It's T.S. Eliot.
Good enough for most people,
but go ahead, paraphrase
it, do what you have to do.
T.S. Eliot was my idea.
I don't want to die
in the jungle, Marlon.
I don't want to
die in the jungle!
Now let's go!
The eyes are
turned from in sleep,
and demise of the
castle that disappears.
You see them, the light
from a battered beam.
Further and more dignified
than they dying sun.
My man!
What have you got for me?
I cut together
the battle sequence
that you guys shot yesterday.
Let's see it.
Oh hell, Dotty was right.
The Stevens kid's
got a hell of an eye.
I don't know what the
hell you're doing,
but it's working, son.
Fuck continuity.
That's right, fuck it.
Have you seen Vampiros Lesbos?
Soledad's masterpiece,
yeah, I've seen it.
I don't think it's
a very good movie.
You'd be spot fuckin'
on about that one.
Jesus Christ!
You're still hung
up on her, Vikar?
She's unpredictable,
she's unreliable.
She's actually crazy.
She was institutionalized
in Scandinavia.
I told you about that.
The work, Vikar.
This you can depend on.
You're good at this shit,
you're really good at it.
There's something different.
Keep it up, Vikar.
Mr. Vikar, telephone.
Mr. Jerome,
do you know who I am?
I'd like to fly you to
New Work, work on a project.
Can you tell me about it?
It's a new film,
it's very delicate.
It stars Vic Thorn,
Soledad Paladin.
Do you know who she is?
How far is New York?
Just get over here.
Flying from LA.
Mr. Jerome.
Your head precedes you.
Mitch Rondell.
President of production.
Call me Vikar with a K.
None of what I've told you
has gotten out to the
press, but it will.
In fact, until the
Guild sorts it out,
this picture is officially
directed by nobody.
We are unofficially
scheduled to screen events,
which brings us to you.
Viking Man says
you're very good.
We're more than willing to
match what you currently make
and increase that by 25%.
I'm not working on
anything right now.
Okay, back to 25%.
I will edit your movie.
We didn't have to do all
this talking, did we?
Welcome aboard.
You are editing my film.
I didn't know until
Rondell told me.
I've been watching
you for weeks.
I play the model's friend.
Yes, I know.
I auditioned for the model.
They should have cast you.
I was also supposed to play
the gangster's girlfriend
in The Long Goodbye.
The scene with the Coke bottle.
And at the last second,
the director decided
that nobody would smash my
face with a Coke bottle.
The director, Robert
Altman, MASH,
Brewster McCloud,
McCabe and Mrs. Miller.
Yeah, him.
Maybe it's a good thing
that I didn't do it, though,
because I talked to
him like a year later,
and he said that that
actress went to a party,
her boyfriend took
LSD, bit her nose off,
jumped out a window and died.
Could have been me.
And your nose.
And my nose.
Where's your daughter?
She's in LA with friends.
She's a big girl now.
Are you doing
anything right now?
Let's go dancing.
I know a very good club.
So messed up
I want you here
In my room
I need you here
Now we're gonna
be face to face
And I'll lay you down
in favorite place
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Come on
Touch the sin
of the fountain
Oh baby touch the
sin of the fountain
Oh baby touch the
sin of the fountain
It's the inner sense
I cheated on Elizabeth Taylor.
Don't you know there's
no such thing as cheating
when you go to the movies?
You can fall in love
with whoever you want,
sleep with whoever you want,
live happily ever after
as often as you want.
Liz would understand
more than anybody.
When you were working
on A Place in the Sun,
did you know what
it was gonna be?
You mean did I know
it was gonna be great?
Of course not.
You didn't?
Young man, most pictures,
they come and they go.
A really good picture, like...
say Casablanca.
They seem to live beyond
the time they're made,
and then a few sublime,
perfect pictures,
like The Third Man, The
Shop Around the Corner,
that silent film Joan of Arc,
they seem to live before
they're even made.
The movie's in all times, and
all times are in the movies.
Yeah, sure.
But the making of any movie
is always in the here and now.
I see.
I love you, Dotty.
I love you too, honey.
Take care.
You know what, I have
to make a quick stop.
Here's fine.
I'll be right back.
Where are you going?
It'll be just a second.
I'll come with you.
No, no, no.
You hold the cab.
I'm gonna be right back.
I always loved you.
Vikar, you are behind schedule.
Are you fucking around on me?
I've been, uh...
I'm having a gig
at my house tomorrow.
Get your ass there!
That's it!
You got it?
I always loved you.
What does he want to talk about?
I don't know.
I don't want to be here.
Get over here.
You're here with Soledad?
You think you have
a chance with her?
I'm the producer.
You're a fucking editor.
You know what the
joke in Hollywood is?
The Polish girl is so stupid
she sleeps with the writer.
But even the Polish
girl isn't stupid enough
to sleep with the editor!
What does an editor do?
You just sit there and
snip, snip, snip, snip.
I'm the producer!
I'm getting shit done.
Did you put the
sex scene in, huh?
I shot that sex scene!
I don't think it's
a very good scene.
You don't think it's
a very good scene?
That took me a week and
a half to shoot that,
and I used three
cameras for that!
I'm not putting in that scene.
You put that scene in!
I'm not putting the scene in!
Put that scene in, you hear me?
That's the only reason
why she's in the movie.
Do you think people
want to see her act?
You want to see
who gets the girl?
We'll see who gets the girl.
All right, everybody!
Out by the pool!
Follow me.
You know the way to go.
Right this way.
All right!
Come on.
Here we go.
All right, everyone
ready to have some fun?
Let me hear you.
Sing along, okay?
A one, a two, a
one two three four.
Lum di lum di lie
Lum di lum di lie
Lum di lum di lie
Lum di lum di lie
Oh yeah!
Well this cat named Mickey
came from out of town
Spreading this new
dance all around
And in a just a
matter of a few days
His dance became the
new teenage craze
Come on let's do
Mickey's monkey children
Oh yeah let's do
Mickey's monkey children
Lum di lum di lie
Lum di lum di lie
Who's having fun?
All right!
Where'd you go?
That house is where
they filmed your scene.
My death scene?
How does it feel
watching me die?
I like watching you die,
because I can bring
you back to life.
Well I don't think the movie
would make very much
sense if you did that.
The movie's really
saved you, huh?
I feel like I've known
you a very long time.
it gonna be like next week?
All summer long?
You have Joan of Arc's eyes.
When I was young,
I felt like Joan of Arc.
What do you mean?
They put me in a
hospital when I was a teenager.
They tried to erase who I was.
The hospital was
in Oslo, Norway.
I saw, I saw, I saw!
On the screen.
I saw you in Joan of Arc again.
You were burning.
Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay now.
You told me
something about Oslo.
Shh, it's okay.
Watch this right here.
I directed this scene.
Something else, huh?
Oh, it gets better.
Three cameras.
You killed the movie!
Vikar, what are you doing here?
You killed my movie!
Scene's not over.
Continue watching, gentlemen.
It's all right.
Hey, Mike.
Really liking the way that
disco movie is looking.
Who's that fella,
John Travalina?
Those moves!
Really fun!
What the fuck are you doing?
That's my executive
team in there!
You stole my movie!
It's not your movie!
It's my movie, and I
hired you to do it!
It's not finished yet!
Well if I waited on you,
Cassavetes, it'd take 10 years!
It's art!
- It's art!
- It's not art!
It's art, it takes time!
Shut up!
Stop saying it's art!
So I'm fired?
I brought on Walter Merch.
He's a very smart
editor, very hip.
I know who he is.
Even he doesn't
get it, all right?
He watched the first 10 minutes
and thought you were
completely incompetent!
But by the time
he got to the end,
he said no, that wasn't it.
So I asked him, I said,
"What are you saying to me?"
"Is he a genius?"
He said, "No, of course not."
"There are no geniuses."
Billy Wilder.
Sunset Boulevard.
Shut up!
"But what I am
telling you is that"
"he's editing in a way that
I've never seen done before,"
"so we should stick with it."
"Otherwise, we ruin the aesthetic
continuity of the piece."
Fuck continuity!
Would you shut up?
To answer your question,
Vikar with a K,
you're not fired, at
least not for now.
Just go finish it!
Leave the Soledad thing alone.
For your own good.
They're nothing but trouble.
You know what, can you
go right here please?
You stay here, you keep the cab.
I'll be right back, okay?
Hold on.
Just stay right here.
I'll be right back.
- Love you.
- Soledad!
What are you doing here?
This is how
you treat your daughter?
Stop, stop.
Stop it!
You're scaring her, stop!
Get out.
I'm okay.
You're both staying with me.
A - murder has been reported
from one of those great big
houses in the 10,000 block.
You will read about it in
late editions, I'm sure.
You'll get it over your radio
and see it on television.
Because an old time
star is involved.
One of the biggest.
But before you hear
it all distorted
and blown out of proportion.
Before those Hollywood
columnists get their hands on it.
Channel 2.
Good morning.
This is WCBS TV, New York City,
beginning another day of
broadcasting here on Channel 2
but authority of the Federal
Communications Commission.
WCBS TV is owned
by CBS Incorporated
and operated by the CBS
Television Safety Division.
The programs broadcast
by this station
are for viewing by the
public without charge
and may not be rebroadcast,
recorded, or otherwise used
without the prior written
permission of CBS Incorporated.
This is the seal
of good practice.
It identifies WCBS
TV as a subscr...
I'm sorry about the window.
You were mad, I get it.
She lies to everyone.
Some day, you'll
understand that.
I watched Casablanca
after you fell asleep.
It was pretty cool.
I believe it's
a very good movie.
Except for this one thing.
In the end, Bogart gives
this big speech about...
you know, why they
can't be together,
and they have to
do what's right,
and that her place
is with her husband.
And then he says, "Some day
you'll understand that."
And that really pissed me off!
Because she understood
the whole time.
It's why she left him
in the first place.
She spent the entire movie
trying to get him to understand,
and now he's telling her?
It's bullshit!
I think you're right.
I think I'm right too.
- Mr.
- Rondell's assistant.
Sorry for the interruption.
What's wrong?
I have a message
from Soledad Paladin.
She had to leave town.
She's gone?
She's taking hiatus
with her daughter
and won't be
returning to New York.
But she wishes to
convey her thanks to you
for helping them out
while they were here.
Have a good day Mr. Vikar.
When I was a young boy
My mama said to me
There's only one girl
in the world for you
And she's probably
down in Tahiti
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide
world just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
To find out where
they hide her
Why am I hanging around
in the rain right here
Trying to pick up a girl
Why are my eyes filling
up with these lonely tears
When there's girls
all over the world
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide
world just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
To find out where
they hide her
I can't believe you
pulled this off, Vikar.
Look at these cocksuckers.
They can't take their
eyes off the screen.
You've got a flight to
Venice waiting for you
in the morning, first class.
I'll have my assistant
get in touch with you
with all the details.
Everyone listen up.
Your Pale Blue Eyes is
going right to Venice.
I always loved you.
I still love you.
Where are the buttons?
There are no buttons.
Where are the buttons?
That's not my name.
That's not my name.
I'm setting the record straight.
My name is Vikar with a K!
How do you feel about
A Place in the Sun?
I believe it's
a very good movie.
What are some of your
other favorites films?
I believe Belle Du Jour
is a very good movie.
I believe the Passion of Joan
of Arc is a very good movie.
I believe The Third Man and
The Shop Around the Corner
are sublime movies that
existed before they were made!
The Searchers, which is
a wicked badass movie
whenever The Duke is onscreen,
evil white racist honky pig
fucker though he may be!
I'm just trying to set
the record straight!
Do you think they got
the part about my name?
I'm sure.
Mr. Jerome!
I've been reading in the trades
what you said to the press.
It was only this morning.
Well, news travels fast, Vikar.
They got my name wrong.
I'm not talking
about your name, Vikar.
In Hollywood, it's important
that they're
straight on the name.
Well in Hollywood,
you know what they're
straight on, Vikar?
The fact that you're a lunatic.
And by lunatic, I
mean that no one
can figure out what
you're gonna do next.
And they don't want
to miss out on it.
Do you understand
what I'm getting at?
Have you seen Soledad and Zazi?
What's that?
Oh, yeah.
You know, she's just
doing her thing.
Do you know if she's all right?
Don't you worry about Soledad.
She's a survivor, all right?
Oh, and by the way, my
condolences on Dotty Langer.
That editor.
I know she was important to you.
There's someone at the door.
That's you present.
I got you something
special to celebrate.
Enjoy yourself.
It's gonna be a great night.
Rondell send me.
The conquering hero returns!
Get over here!
You were right, the
editor can save a movie.
I was wrong, and
I'm never wrong.
Get in here.
Come here, come here.
Good to see you.
Have a seat.
So, what's next?
What are we gonna do next?
- Soledad.
- Soledad.
Come on, not this again.
That's not gonna happen.
I want to see Soledad.
I consider you a
friend, all right?
We can talk, 'cause
we're friends.
We've been through a
lot, but we're friends.
Soledad's living here with me.
She's here.
She's here?
No, she's not
here right now here.
But I mean, she's here.
We're living together.
Where's Zazi?
Zazi's here too.
Come on!
I want you to
promise me something.
If anything ever happens to me,
you'll take care
of my little girl.
I promise.
This is a very weird movie.
See you in the movies, Vikar.
Today we gather to grieve
the loss of our lovely Soledad.
If I had to say one
thing about Soledad
and one thing only,
I would say this.
She was the light of my life.
And I was the light of hers.
I can say that with
extreme confidence.
She was a unique individual,
a true one in a million.
Unfortunately, she never found
- that one movie.
- I'm sorry.
That one
quintessential piece of work
that would show off
her artistic talents.
Just listen to this asshole.
Then again, what is talent?
Anyone really know?
I know she had many
physical talents
that she shared with
many, many people.
It's just a cliche.
You know all of it.
And I know that I'm a cliche.
The precocious, bitter teenager.
Where've you been?
I've been working.
Making music with some friends.
Can I help you?
Somewhere that
we'll probably never know.
Only she knew.
All I can say and
all I can hope...
Can I come stay
with you for a while.
Flying with her
butterfly friends right now.
People say I'm the
life of the party
'Cause I tell a joke or two
Although I may be
laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue
So take a good
look at my face
You'll see my smile
looks out of place
If you look closer
it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears
Fuck you!
Fucking asshole!
All right, everyone.
I think that does it.
Thanks for coming.
You dip shit!
How long have
you been in a band?
Couple months.
I'm the weak link though.
All the others have
played for a while.
It's your fault, you know.
I would've never seen
Patti Smith at CBGB
if you hadn't taken mom there.
Keep your mouth
shut and empty your pockets.
Nice and slow.
Oh, man!
A Place in the Sun!
Yo, it's me!
My Darling Clementine?
Sunset Boulevard?
What's it been, five, six years?
11 years.
Oh, man!
See any good movies lately?
The Long Goodbye, Robert Altman.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Stony detective, I can dig it.
Real cool.
You see Scorsese's latest?
Taxi Driver?
No, man!
Raging Bull!
Oh, you got to see that one!
That's all I can tell you.
It's like a opera for boxing.
It's about the confusion
of white folks,
how they think they
all civilized and shit,
arias playing overhead, all
while they beat the shit
outta other folks, black folks!
White America needs to see who
the are, the animal inside!
'Cause they all a
bunch of raging bulls
trying to keep the
Black Panther down!
In the end, DeNiro gets the shit
beat outta him by Sugar Ray!
"You never got me down, Ray."
"You never got me down."
Is this a robbery
or a movie review.
I don't know.
How much you got on you?
Like $138.
You think I could
just get the $38?
I'm pretty strapped.
Take the $100.
Ah, man.
Get to see a movie.
You know what?
For a freaky white
boy, you are okay.
Thank you.
Oh, and kudos on Venice.
I saw the article in Variety.
Thank you.
Take care, Sid and Nancy.
Do you want gold?
This is fucking weird.
It's fucking weird.
I like it though.
Oh my god!
He's melting his poop.
Is that poop perfume?
You can
change yourself into gold.
Did you see that?
What, Vikar?
Come on.
- No, we can't just leave...
- Shh!
So loud.
Vikar, we can't go up here!
What are you doing?
I heard you were looking
for a print of Joan of Arc.
Did you find what
you were looking for?
I was sure I saw this image
in the film years ago.
But whatever you saw was not
the real passion of Joan of Arc.
What do you mean?
It was a substitute.
The original vanished in 1928.
Dryer was able to reassemble it
using outtakes and bits and
pieces from a print that he had.
Joan of Arc is a masterpiece,
but it's made up of leftovers.
Where's the real film?
It doesn't exist.
It doesn't exist.
But there are rumors that
an original cut of the film
circulated mental institutions.
Mental institutions?
The rumor was that the head
of an institution bought it
and showed it to
patients in Oslo, Norway.
My mom always took me here.
I want to show it to you.
It's like from my dream.
Get a parking spot
in front of the screen.
But not too close, otherwise
it'll be hard to see.
It'll be dark soon.
Come back!
Where are you going?
Come back!
They put me in a
hospital when I was a teenager.
It was in Oslo.
Ah ha ha!
Zazi, Zazi.
Where have you been?
I've been looking for you.
You're fucking nuts,
just like my mom!
No, I found the image!
Oh, fuck off, Vikar!
- Come back with me...
- Fuck off!
I want to dedicate this
to a real motherfucker!
I'm so messed up
I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now we're gonna
be face to face
As I lay right down
in my favorite place
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Oh come on
Montgomery Cliftl
was just wondering
why you invited me tonight.
That tattoo is fantastic.
I never expected to be on
the back of somebody's head.
I think it's a very good movie.
Your face, it's all better.
Yeah, it's better.
Was it bad?
How's that?
The accident.
Did it hurt?
Yeah, it was bad.
Can't pretend it wasn't.
Liz, she...
She saved my life.
Elizabeth Taylor?
She reached into my mouth
and pulled my teeth
out of my throat.
She's the only reason I
didn't choke to death.
Gave her the teeth
later as a keepsake.
You gave her the teeth?
You really should have a drink.
Am I possessed?
Am I possessed by the movies?
Just because you love something
doesn't mean it loves you back.
Why me?
Is it really just you?
There's a secret
movie that's been hidden
in all the movies ever made.
Who made it?
Who put it there?
The secret movie,
the one that's hidden
frame by frame in all
of the other movies.
Perhaps someone
is showing you a way out.
Or a way in.
I'm so tired
I know.
I haven't slept.
I know.
For days.
It's been longer than that.
Since before you
came to Hollywood.
Since before you ever
went to the movies.
Since you were
just a little boy.
You must sleep now.
She's waiting for you.
The most beautiful
woman in the world
is waiting for you to
come to her right now.
This morning.
I should probably
call the police.
You probably should.
Oh, Vikar.
Never got your place
in the sun, did you?
For what?
For your thoughts.
Highest prices paid.
I was just wondering why
you invited me tonight.
Oh, 'cause of my reasons.
Good evening, Miss Vickers.
Good evening.
Good evening, Miss Vickers.
Monty Clift is so beautiful.
Liz Taylor's not
too bad herself.
This is the best scene
in the whole movie.
Aren't you happy with me?
The trouble is I'm
too happy tonight.
Stop, wait stop, stop the film!
I'm warning you, Zazi!
It's gonna burn!
It's so deep and far away.
Why am I doing this?
They finally got their
Hollywood ending.
So what if you're at
the front of the line
I'm pushing in
I've got no time to argue
As long as I'm all right
But if you were to get to
the top I'll step right in
I've got a lot to do
As long as I'm okay
I couldn't care less
if you're going down
Don't give me your hand
I'd rather see you drown
You know it doesn't really
matter to me if you fall
I'm all right so sod you
I'm okay so sod you
Couldn't care less
so sod you sod you
I've been out tonight
and nothing's free at all
And you enjoy yourself
If I see you walking
down the street
I'll laugh in your
face to tell who to be
I know I never let it
happen to me at all
I'm all right so sod you
I'm okay so sod you
Couldn't care less
so sod you sod you
Sod you sod you
sod you sod you
Sod you sod you sod you sod
I'm all right so sod you
I'm okay so sod you
Couldn't care less
so sod you sod you
I'll never hang around
and wait for you
Friend to decide my
fate it's all right
I've got it all worked out
And now it's time
for you to step aside
Go home and join
your precious wife
'Cause I don't need you here
You shouldn't blame me
for the way I get on
You see I'm only
looking after number one
You should have
realized the way things
Would be from the start
I'm all right so sod you
I'm okay so sod you
Couldn't care less
so sod you sod you
I'm all right so sod you
I'm okay so sod you
Couldn't care less
so sod you sod you
Sod you