Zombieworld (2015) Movie Script

Run! Get as far away
from the fallout as possible.
What the hell was that?
What the fuck is going on?
Did you see that?
I can't breathe out here.
Come on, we got to keep moving.
Let's go. Let's go. Move!
It's Chenobyl all over again.
Come on!
Santa! Move your fat ass!
- Move it!
- What is that?
Keep going. Move, don't stop.
Move, go, go.
Get out of my fucking way!
There is no escaping!
Holy shit, look!
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Did you see that?
What the hell was that man?
What the hell?
Holy shit,
look at all that radiation.
Give me your fucking hand!
We gotta get out of here.
We got to keep moving...
My arm!
Hold it! Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!
You sons of the bitches!
Misfire! Misfire!
Move it!
Keep moving!
Come on!
Come on, move.
Take him out, boy!
Come on!
- Move!
- Help me. Please!
We got to go! We got to go!
Jesus Christ!
Got to get out of here!
Come on!
Seriously, stop firing!
No! No! No! No!
Don't... stop!
Go... go... go!
You look hungry.
How about a sandwich?
Two... Battle...
Nine iron!
- I got a little test for ya!
- Give it up!
You want me under that
mistletoe you better hurry up.
Go away, come on!
Hey Frosty!
Come on, I'm sporting wood!
In the summer of 2013,
a deadly virus had been
accidently released
from a scientific
research center
and killed thousands of people.
The authorities denied
the existence of such virus,
in order to avoid
a massive panic situation.
But a few days later,
the virus mutated
and the corpses started to
rise up.
A single physical contact
from an infected
will turn you into one of them.
The virus took over
in the West Coast
and spread towards the east
and nothing seems to stop it.
KPRS News Live at
ten PM. Highest definition.
Tonight's top stories
with Marvin Gloat,
only on KPRS News.
Stay dead!
Hey, Marvin.
What the... Oh, shit!
We're live, Marvin.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we interrupt
our normally scheduled broadcast
to bring you a special report.
I am...
Oh, sweet mother, have mercy.
- I've been bit, Bob.
- Shit.
Bob, I've been bit.
- Keep the camera rolling, Bob.
- Speeding, boss.
Keep it rolling.
I've been reporting
the nightly news
for the last 20 years.
And I'm not about to let these
zombie sons of bitches stop me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Marvin Gloatt Live.
And I am Marvin Gloatt.
The news you need,
from the people you trust.
I said, stay...
It was sadness that
I report to you tonight
that this zombie epidemic
has not been contained.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the human race has had its day.
Now, we are living
in Zombieworld.
As researchers desperately
scour their expansive heads
trying to find clues as to
what may have caused
the zombie apocalypse...
...some are turning to the past.
We take you now, to the place
where the first clash
between the living and
the dead occurred,
more than 2000 years ago.
Yes, indeed.
Zombies didn't stand
a chance against him.
May he be with us now
in our darkest hour.
- Right, Bob?
- Amen to that, brother.
Yes, Bob. Are you afraid?
Fucking freaking out man!
Good Bob, good.
Keep rolling, Bob.
At all cost, keep rolling.
Mother fucking zombies.
Ladies and gentlemen,
stay tuned to KPRS
for minute by minute reports
and updates
on how to survive
in Zombieworld.
And now, a public safety
Have people
around you began to change?
Do they seem strange?
Produce strange sounds?
Oh, and want to eat your brain?
Welcome to Zombieworld.
How to survive
a zombie apocalypse.
This can save your life.
The most important thing
is not to panic.
You are gonna have to kill
some zombies.
So, let's get to it.
Thoroughly study the situation.
Then, arm yourself.
The zombies are pretty slow
and unintelligent beings.
But for some strange reason,
in many cases,
they catch their victims.
So be extremely careful.
How to identify zombies,
you ask?
they are stumbling around
holding a piece of limb.
They are missing parts
of their head,
have sunken eyes, and
produce a sound like this...
You can kill them
by destroying their brain
or blowing a hole in their head.
If you use a gun,
it is better to wait
until they get a little closer,
to make sure that
you will hit the target.
But don't get too close.
Shoot them in the head!
And, as always,
watch your surroundings,
because zombies travel in packs.
If you notice that
zombies emerge
from several directions
the safest thing to do
is to find a safe place
to assess the situation.
After assessing their number,
quickly and thoroughly
eliminate the threat.
And one more thing:
This requires serious music.
If the city is overrun with
there's a good chance
that the government
will order the sterilization
of that city.
See what I mean?
Good evening, I'm Marvin Gloatt
and this is KPRS.
The only station
you will ever need.
The only station you've got.
We are reporting on day nine
of the zombie apocalypse.
And we won't stop.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are receiving reports
that the freeways are jammed
with people trying to
leave town.
This is a bad,
I repeat, a bad idea.
As I've already
exclusively reported
in my exclusive reports,
this appears to be a
global epidemic,
and not contained
only to a few cities in the
United States of America.
Please, remain indoors until
the situation is contained.
Please keep doors and
windows bolted
until instructed otherwise.
- KPRS will continue...
- Oh, my God, no!
- Marvin, he got in. Marvin!
- Damn it!
I want to stay here. He is
here, I got him. No, no!
No, oh again!
Oh no, Marvin!
Marvin, I got him!
I'm done with him!
I'm done with him! See!
Marvin, are you okay?
I got it.
Marvin! Oh my God, Marvin!
Keep rolling, Bob!
- Rolling.
- Don't leave me, Bob.
I'm with you until the end,
I've got an axe, Bob.
I've got a very big axe!
You got them, Marvin!
We take you now to Ireland,
where zombie attacks
are being reported
on that Emerald Isle.
I'm back from shopping.
You won't believe the trouble.
Craig from down the road...
he's dead.
So, I guess that's it.
We're the last two alive.
They left the door open.
Jesus, Steve, what happened?
Well, obviously...
Oh Christ, believe me,
I don't want to be alone.
I'm alone aren't I?
There are no zombies
in the flat.
Oh great!
I'm all alone.
I'm all alone.
It's like last summer
when you all went to Majorca,
and I couldn't afford to
so I had to stay home.
I had all these things planned.
Things I wanted to tell you.
I was going to start
with all the...
all the bad stuff,
just get it out of the way,
get it off my chest.
There was a time...
just before we met...
Do you remember when we met?
Standing in the dinner queue,
we were the only
two English people there.
And then we ended up
going to that meet and greet,
only to find it was a bunch of
God squaders. Huh!
Me, you and a bunch of
Hey, I'd love to see the look
on their faces now, eh,
what with all the zombies.
I know they are always going on
about the apocalypse,
but that's when God let all the
good ones into the heaven
and sent the bad ones
down to hell.
Maybe the whole world is bad.
If you take the Ten Commandments
as like the literal Word
of God then, yeah...
...the whole world is bad.
Maybe the bible bashers
were right, I mean,
you have broken a few.
So have I.
It was on a Sunday,
so that's one down.
I probably said, "Jesus Christ",
while I was doing it.
I don't remember worshipping
a false god,
but I can't say
I definitely didn't.
What classes as a false god
these days, anyway?
I mean I worship "the pussy".
You know what I mean, but...
Oh, yes. Yes, "the pussy".
But yes, it is not like it is
a false god or anything,
it is just like...
well, "the pussy".
So, its not a false god,
it is just like
an alternative one.
That will be the undead again.
Hey, they'll not get in,
don't you worry.
Oh shit, I have left
the door open. One sec.
Hey, this reminds me
of that time,
remember that party,
when I put dog shit
on the door handle?
Ooh, that was funny.
Not for the people
with shitty hands.
Or dysentery.
But man, I laughed.
I remember, everyone thinking
I was really rude,
for not shaking their hands,
but I knew best.
Ho ho, man, did I know.
Anyway, that's when I told
Dave about your...
...your thing. what was it?
That secret?
I remember it being
really important to you,
but I don't know why.
Maybe that's why I told him.
I know you never liked Dave.
But I was wasted,
and I was on a high
from the dog shit gag, so...
I guess...
...the band is not going to
take off now.
As soon as the zombies came,
I knew...
I knew it wouldn't...
Well, as long as
you were there, I thought...
I thought I'd have an audience
at least.
I know you thought
I was talentless, little kid,
but you listened.
You even didn't mind
when I played
on your first date with Katie.
She is dead.
I used to fancy her.
I spied on you two
having sex once.
Oh... she had awesome tits.
I wish, I had filmed that now.
It would have given me
something to watch
during the apocalypse.
I never had anyone.
Tried to find a girl,
but I always scared them off
because I was too keen.
All I wanted was...
was someone to like me,
to notice me.
Who will laugh at my
stupid jokes now?
I guess I've been
a bit of a shit friend.
Maybe I should've
apologized early
when you could understand.
Where is my rounder's bat?
It better not be your room
again, you...
Oh, it's there.
I can't do this alone.
I want my friend back.
I need someone to tell me
to grow up
and stop being a dick.
Someone to show me
how all this works.
I know I annoyed you
sometimes, mate
and sometimes you annoyed me.
You were always going on
about how good your job is
and how much better in life
you do than me, but...
...I didn't mind...
I didn't mind, mate because...
What's this?
What's this? A note?
"Chris"... For me?
"Dear Chris,
this is my suicide note.
I'd rather become
one of the undead
than spend the rest
of my life with you
and your stupid guitar.
I hate you.
And hope the zombie me eats you.
It looks like
you're not only the one
who does best in life
after all, you dick!
This just in.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are receiving a live feed
from a Quickstop
on Broadway and Carter.
That location is only
three blocks
from the station.
I repeat,
this is a live feed
from a Quickstop
only three blocks
from this reporter's location.
Whiskey. Kilo.
Ma'am, roll down the window.
Please help my husband, please.
- What?
- Please! I need an ambulance!
- What happened?
- Oh, my God!
Holy shit, okay.
Tell me what happened?
- Calm down.
- They just started biting him.
They who? Who bit him?
How many people?
- Please.
- Oh, my God.
Holy shit!
Bravo 232, I need immediate
medical attention
at my location.
I got a mid-thirties,
severe lacerations,
and a large amount of
blood loss.
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
- No! No!
- Ma'am, okay. Okay.
Everything is going to be okay.
- Calm down!
- No!
Ma'am, relax.
Relax. Breath. Breath.
The medicals on route,
you got to calm down.
- Please.
- Just calm down.
- Please.
- Ma'am, calm down.
Everything is going to be
okay. All right? What the fuck!
- Stop!
- No!
- Stop! Stop!
- Oh, my God!
Oh shit. Fuck.
We've got shots fired.
Shots fired, 232.
I need medical now.
Ma'am stay with me.
Stay with me. Stay...
All units respond to... 185,
Sinclair station, code three.
Ma'am? Calm down,
stay with me. Stay with me.
Stay with me. Stay with me.
Stay with me.
Medical, I need you now.
Stay with me, ma'am.
Stay with me.
I need medical attention now,
step it up!
Ma'am, stay with me.
Everything is going to be okay.
Medical, I need you now.
Shots fired... shots...
Oh my God!
Shots fired, shots fired.
I need medical now!
Officer down. Officer down!
Officer down. Officer...
Bravo 2-3-2, respond.
Bravo 2-3-2, do you copy?
Marvin Gloatt, KPRS News.
Reporting to you on day seven
of the zombie apocalypse.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we continue to receive reports
from around the globe
of the undead indiscriminately
attacking and devouring
the living.
Mothers eating their children.
Husbands gorging on their wives.
Even domesticated animals
have gotten in on the act.
We are receiving reports of
undead cows
going on rampages attacking
and devouring the living.
Oh, the irony!
Scientists report finding
cow patties containing
undigested human remains.
Teeth, digits...
even wedding bands.
The world has indeed
gone topsy-turvy.
We take you now to Australia...
...where that continent
has been overrun...
...by flesh eating scum.
Ladies and gentlemen,
before we go on...
...may I take a moment to honor
the brave KPRS men and women,
who have given their lives
in the service of reporting
this great global tragedy.
Steve, the weatherman.
How is it looking, Steve?
Cindy, the sports gal.
Just ask Cindy
what the score is.
Riva, the mail lady.
She always delivered.
Foreign correspondent,
Ramudajab Punjawalesifu.
And the intern.
You know, that guy.
And now, a public safety
announcement from our
KPRS affiliate in Washington DC.
So, you have killed
a few zombies.
But you ran out of Ammo.
And now there is a
new breed of zombies.
And they are so fast.
Don't panic.
Here we have some guy
who is not a zombie.
- And that guy...
- that's a zombie.
You see, zombies are like cars.
The more they fill up,
the more they go.
Take this beady-eyed
little creep.
Look at him go.
But like many speeding cars,
this can also end up...
...with a crash.
Have to survive
at the zombie apocalypse.
A new breed of zombies is born.
Faster, stronger, and smarter.
For their kind, anyway.
From where you stand,
they just look like
your average drunken
beady-eyed bugger.
You better watch your back.
See what I mean?
Take advantage of zombie's
animal like instincts
to surprise them.
Stab them in their head
with a... bicycle seat?
Hm, didn't see that one coming.
Oh, there it is,
our super zombie.
Yeah, still looks a little
wobbly on his feet.
But trust me, he is bad news.
Who would've thought of
a bicycle seat?
Oh, and if someone is bitten,
kill him!
You don't want one more
zombie chasing you later.
In Zombieworld,
you don't have much time
to take a break.
But when you do, remember
to enjoy the little things.
And when you got to go,
you got to go.
But back to our super zombie.
Now he is after you.
Put your thing away man.
Put it away.
Too late. He is too fast.
Too hungry.
Too super.
Thank God, you have a partner
who has got your back.
Who... forgot his weapons.
Oh, he came back.
He throws away his cigarette
and smacks the super zombie.
Bat. Kick!
Bike seat!
Whack. Good one. Spear.
Bike seat throw. Kick!
Before you leave,
make sure he is dead.
Fun is a rare commodity
in Zombieworld.
But feel free to have
a victory dance
after killing so many zombies,
and... What?
Our heroes spot something.
It is a hand.
Is it a zombie hand?
No, indeed.
We know those legs.
That's not a zombie.
It is our sexy chick from
"How to Survive a
Zombie Apocalypse, Part One".
Oh my, what is happening here?
Don't panic. Use your head...
and smash theirs.
If your friend is bitten...
...he will try to hide it
from you.
But it's kind of obvious.
Even he knows, you know.
But he is your friend, right?
Your amigo, your compadre,
your buddy.
Just smile.
Tell him it will be all right.
Distract him, and...
Hello, I'm... Marvin Gloatt
KPRS news reporting.
We continue to receive
...of widespread zombie attacks
throughout the United States
and across the world.
This reporter could certainly
use a cocktail.
We take you now to Canada,
where citizens have been
instructed to remain indoors...
...and to use caution
should they come into contact
with the undead.
I'm sorry.
- Holy shit!
- Where have you been?
Where the fuck have you been?
- You okay, man?
- Yeah, yeah fine.
- Where is Meg?
- Fuck no, man, she is...
...she went back to the car.
We got to get fuck out of here.
Go, go, we got to go now. Go!
- Go, go, go, go.
- Come on, man.
Oh, God.
Let's go.
Ready? Three, two, one, go!
Get going!
Meg, are you okay?
Meg, just stay with me, okay?
Just stay with me.
- All right.
- David?
Oh, fuck.
Start the car!
Start the car!
Doesn't matter,
just go, just go!
- Get this thing started!
- It won't start.
- Make it happen!
- It won't fucking start!
- Go! Go!
- Oh, fuck!
- It won't start.
- Just start it, just go!
- It won't fucking start.
- Start the fucking car!
- Go, yes!
- Oh, my God.
Let's Just find a place,
somewhere in the woods,
stop, there's no
zombies anywhere.
Meg, just hang on, okay?
Meg, just hold on.
What the fuck?
Keep going. Keep going,
don't stop! Keep going!
Go! We can't stop here, man.
We can't stop here!
What the fuck is going on
with the car?
I don't know what's happening!
- The car is fucking stalling.
- Look! Look! Look!
Fuck man, fuck!
Don't worry about her,
she will be fine. Fix it!
Come on, do it!
Oh shit, man! She is turning.
She is turning.
She's gone...
she is fucking gone.
Here, man.
Take the one on your right.
Take that, you dead fuck!
Dave! Dave!
Check this out guys.
I think we need to lay low
for a bit.
Yeah, I think it's clear.
All right, this room's clear.
Oh my God.
What's the last thing
you want to do?
Last thing wanna do...
like, ever?
Yeah sure.
Hell, I don't know...
...hit a home run
at an MLB game.
What about you?
Have sex...
...with your mom, one last time.
Yeah, me too.
You're sick.
You're sick
Oh... oh no!
I've got over here.
Come on, you fuckers!
Yeah! You like that?
Take that.
Guys! Guys,
a little help over here?
- David! David!
- John!
Fuck no, John!
- Where did he go?
- Shit! Shit!
In here, here.
Shit, shit.
- Dude, there's no way out.
- The window.
The window,
we're going out the window.
- We can't go out there.
- Come on. Follow me, David.
Out the window!
- Oh shit.
- Come on, let's go! Come on!
Oh God!
Okay, there's only one way out.
Three, two, one...
Oh no!
- Fuck!
- Come on, let's go. Let's go.
Just go. Just go!
What did you do?
Oh fuck, why?
Oh no. No. No!
No! No!
Marvin Gloatt here
is broadcasting on KPRS.
Bringing you the latest
on the zombie apocalypse.
Right in the knockers.
Jo, you want to come see this?
These graphics are nuts.
Take that you fucker.
Fuck! Oh yeah!
What the fuck?
Oh! Oh no!
Oh! Zombies!
Marvin, are you okay?
Marvin, are you okay?
You look like shit!
Marvin, are you okay?
Yeah, Bob.
Keep rolling.
The show must go on.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Son-of-a-bitchin' zombies!
Just roll the footage, Bob!
Roll it. Show must go on.
- Hello?
- Oh, good day miss.
I have a certified letter for
Mrs. Sappleton.
Postman is here for you, aunty!
Where are your manners,
young lady?
Get the man something to drink
and I'll be right there.
Please, do come in.
Perhaps it's best
if I just stay out here.
Don't be silly.
Our old postman used to
always come in for a soda.
Aren't you thirsty?
Well, it sure is awful hot out.
I'm not that thirsty.
Expecting guests?
That would be a blessing.
Every day for the last year,
she's been making me set
these out.
She just can't accept that
they are gone.
So, you are
not expecting guests?
A year ago
on a day...
just like this one...
Her husband and
his younger brother were...
working at the mine.
Just like they did every day.
They were deep underground,
working the lead
on a new tunnel...
when something went wrong.
One of the men,
his hands wet with sweat
dropped his pick axe.
When it landed,
the steel from the blade
hit the tiniest piece of flint,
hidden under a rock.
The spark from the flint
hit a bit of hay...
thrown down to absorb oil
from a broken lantern.
It quickly caught ablaze
and burned...
in a straight line towards
a nearby box of dynamite.
It took weeks to dig them out.
And when their twisted
and lifeless bodies
were finally found,
they were so badly mangled
that my uncle could
only be recognized
by his wedding ring.
Sometimes, when I see the drinks
sitting there, I forget...
I expect to see them walking up,
hear them laugh,
have them tease me about
my duck feet.
Oh, I'm so sorry
to have kept you waiting.
I needed to freshen up a bit
before my husband comes home.
He and his brother work
the early shift at the mine.
Are you to be our
new postman, Mister...?
Frank Nuddle, yes ma'am.
If I could just get your
signature right here.
Oh I see...
this is addressed to my husband.
His name is Ashley.
Often causes confusion.
If you could just wait a bit,
he will be home shortly.
yes, indeed.
You know,
I think it would be okay
if you sign for him
being as you're married and all.
If I could get your signature
right here,
I will be on my way.
I still have a few more houses
to visit.
Oh, here he is now.
Hi sweetheart.
Who was that odd fellow?
That was our new postman.
I don't know what got into him.
One minute,
he was asking me for a signature
and the next he ran
screaming from the house.
I... I suppose it was the dog.
He said he has had a
horror of them ever
since the Battle of the Bulge
trapped in the middle
of the night
in the Ardennes,
10 feet up the tree.
Surrounded by the pack of
vicious beasts...
sure that any moment,
their barking would
bring the Nazis and
that moment would be his last.
Enough to make anyone
lose their nerve.
If you woke up to find
your peaceful neighborhood
looks like this.
you are living in Zombieworld.
How to survive
a zombie apocalypse.
A zombie pandemic spreads fast.
To save yourself, we suggest you
follow a few safety tips.
Let's go back to
the very beginning.
Whoa! Not that far!
So, yes, watch our
special reports.
We interrupt this program
to give you a report.
Listen to your radio.
...reports of mass-murder
from all over the state.
Check the internet or simply
look out your window.
Run as fast as you can to
some less populated area.
But keep in mind
that while the zombies
are trying to take your life,
the living will take
everything else.
That car was stolen
by this girl.
Who became this zombie
who was killed by that guy,
who actually is...
...this guy!
That's Karma for you.
Yep, still exists
in the zombie apocalypse.
When you are left all alone,
paranoia kicks in.
Questions like:
Who started all of this?
Was it the government, aliens...
We like to believe in
that old saying.
When there's no more room
in hell...
- The dead...
- Will walk the Earth.
After killing a lot of zombies
and losing some friends
along the way
you might feel down,
a bit lonely...
But don't give up.
Happiness might be just...
...around the corner.
Yes, there is a chance
at romance...
...in the zombie apocalypse.
This requires serious music.
Heck, no one cares
what you were before.
What matters is
what you've become.
Some turn into zombies,
others into heroes.
Nobody cares if you were
an accountant.
Or a first-rate shooter.
What matters is to be
the last man standing.
To stand for
the whole human race.
So, we all can survive
another day.
In Zombieworld.
Hey, have a good time.
No! No!
Marvin, you okay?
Marvin, Marvin!
No! No! No!
I'm Marvin Gloatt, KPRS news...
reporting from Zombieworld.
Looks like you're not going
to be the one
who does best in life after all.