Zone Pro Site (2013) Movie Script

It's getting dark
stop whistling.
Can I sing then?
Hush!
Where are we sleeping today?
If they don't have a room,
there's always the pigpen.
Don't worry.
That's too stinky!
Stop whining!
Otherwise, I won't take you out next time.
Listen to me.
Don't nibble on food while cooking.
If there's not enough food,
I'll chop your hands off and use them.
Okay.
If you don't behave,
I'll send you back.
You won't get any food
with 11 brothers at home!
Don't do that, Master!
Don't send me back.
Here we are! Here we are!
See that house?
Let's go catering!
Let's go catering!
Go! Get the lead actress.
Stand-in girl,
you can leave.
Go take a nap in the back.
Don't snore too loud.
Cut! Cut! Cut!
Don't you know how to walk?
Where did we find her?
Who are you?
Hello! How is everyone?
I'm Chan Hsiao Wan.
I eat big bowls of stewed pork over rice.
My nickname is
"Slacker".
Not a pretty name?
This is my 382nd audition.
I should've been born
in a world of high-end fashion.
But God must have made a mistake.
Here's the file for Chan Hsiao Wan.
Load it into your computer.
And by accident I ended up
among a bunch of vegetables.
My dad was a famous catering master
in the South.
Known as Master Fly Spirit.
8 flies.
My stepmother is known as
Puffy.
This isn't just some ordinary fish.
It's a friend of "Vicky the Viking".
"Luffy" is its name.
You know, Luffy from "One Piece"?
He's the one that caught it!
Every time my dad cooked,
he turned into a monster.
His shack was so hot and humid.
It was worse than hell.
Whenever I feel bad,
I'd put a box over my head.
And enter into another world.
Yes.
I'm afraid of fish.
And I hate greasy smoke.
Dad always wanted me to cook.
But I just want to be a model
and live a fabulous life.
However,
even on his death bed,
my dad still wanted to give me
his notebook of recipes.
But
Dad, forgive me.
I never want to become a catering master.
Jerry, are you on your way back?
You don't need to buy a gift.
I've prepared a big dinner. Hurry back.
I also ordered a cake. Don't worry.
Surprise!
Cake delivery,
Hold on.
Here you go! 600.
Thanks!
You guys?
Don't worry.
We're not bad guys.
Are you Miss Chan Hsiao Wan?
Here.
Oh,
my boyfriend borrowed this.
Not me.
Didn't you sign as the guarantor?
I did. He asked me to sign it.
Right.
Nice!
Hey hey hey.
Where's your boyfriend?
He left for a for days
to see a property in Nantou.
Have you heard from him?
He said there's no reception there.
He told me not to call him.
He's on the run.
No.
He wouldn't do that.
He'll pay you back the money.
Silly girls like you
I've seen a lot of them.
Must be so lonely
celebrating a birthday by yourself.
So lonely.
Let's help you celebrate!
Get the candles!
We wish your cake gets moldy.
We wish you have no water to shower with.
We wish you see a ghost.
Wish you flunk all your tests.
Blow out the candles.
Cut the cake.
Let me show you how well I cut.
Hold that.
Happy Birthday!
I'll give you 3 days to get the money.
We're good at tracking and hunting.
We have all the information about you.
We know where your home is in the south.
Don't even think about hiding.
Call me anytime.
Poor lovely flower,
see you!
Hey hey hey.
What are you doing?
Hello.
My bag, my bag.
My cosmetics.
What?
They're not sausages?
Sausages my ass!
This is Chanel!
I guess I can't eat them.
All broken.
What the heck?
I'm getting rid of a fly.
It's a tattoo!
Oh!
It looks so real.
What kind of fly is it?
The kind that's none of your business.
What?
They're not sausages?
Are you looking for something?
No, no.
Is the fly still there?
Miss!
Is this yours?
Yes, thanks a lot.
In life...
there are some things we should forget.
But never forget your luggage.
Boss,
your sticky dumpling tastes bad.
No wonder business is so bad.
Here.
Gourmet Doctor
Yeh Ru Hai.
That's right.
I'm a gourmet doctor specializing in
transforming terrible food
from garbage into delicious dishes.
With me here,
your sticky dumplings are saved.
Mrs. Yang,
it's me. I'm Wan!
Wan!
You're so beautiful now.
I hardly recognized you.
Mrs. Yang,
what happened to my home?
Your mom
is on the run.
On the run?
Your mom told me
to give you her new address.
If you came home looking for her.
Don't worry.
I won't tell anyone.
Thanks Mrs. Yang.
Wang Chi Dan!
Did you forget your own business?
Yes, yes, yes.
Just stay there then.
Don't bother coming back.
You can get a job there as a busboy.
Wang Chi Dan, Wang Chi Dan,
You bastard.
Ma'am,
what's going on?
The owner of that restaurant.
Thinks she's still hot stuff.
Offers a dance show every Wednesday.
It's embarrassing at her age.
Let me tell you.
Being able to cook is what's important.
We're here to sell food, not ourselves.
You bastard, get your ass back here.
Don't have a hubby now
Don't have a hubby now
Sleep all by myself
Don't have a hubby now
Don't have a hubby now
For rice, for noodle and the aroma.
Come in, come in.
We have noodles and rice.
Come in, miss.
Come in and eat.
Come on, handsome.
Handsome.
Look at this hot girl.
Who is she?
Chan Hsiao Wan.
She's in show business.
She's in show business.
Isn't she pretty?
Yeah,
9.2 out of 10!
9.2 out of 10!
Why are you dancing out here?
Trying to attract more business.
How am I going to get by without money?
Give it to me.
It's embarrassing!
What's embarrassing about it?
It's the same as you being a "model".
Not even close.
What's your problem?
You come to pick a fight?
Did you eat yet?
Why did you open a restaurant here?
And why is our house foreclosed?
I owe money.
So much money that you lost the house?
I just lost a bet.
You placed a bet? On what?
Remember Tsai?
Of course, he was Dad's apprentice.
He's taken all your dad's old customers.
And even stole some of our best cooks.
He left me with no business.
And no way to make a living.
I heard he's in the
frozen food business now.
Why don't you just retire?
No way!
This mama can't stand to see
what they're doing.
Instead of simmering stock,
they use MSG.
They make ice sculptures with molds.
They use pre-processed flavoring.
And worst of all,
they serve fries at banquets.
I could eat some fries.
Yeah, fries are pretty good.
But for a banquet?
Kiss our catering tradition good bye.
If your dad knew about this
it would piss him off so bad
he'd rise from his grave to kick some ass.
Mom,
Dad was cremated. His ashes is in an urn.
Oh, right.
No matter what
he can't ruin your dad's reputation
as Master Fly Spirit.
Otherwise, people in future generations
will think that catering is nothing special.
So, you placed a bet with them?
Director Hong was going to ask Tsai
to cater a banquet for 30 tables.
I went to Hong
to ask for 10 tables.
Where did you get the self-confidence?
My self-confidence?
Who am I?
I'm a legend throughout this island.
Wife of the late Master Fly Spirit.
Why wouldn't I have self-confidence?
So what happened?
In order to defeat Tsai,
Mama threw in all my money and more.
For the cold starter I served
lobster, abalone,
sea-ear shell, mullet roe
and squid.
At the same time,
Tsai also served his cold starter.
Which also had lobster.
But my lobster was lying flat.
While his lobster was standing upright.
And also
blowing out smoke.
Then you lost on the first course.
It was followed by the chicken course.
He served
Chicken in a Pot.
Mama then served the winner...
We served
Stuffed Chicken
Dad used to say that
that dish was hard to make.
You have to remove the bones
and gizzards
from the chicken first.
Yes, and stuff ingredients inside
before steaming it.
Am I right?
You must have won this course.
I don't know why,
but the chicken's exploded.
What happened?
Cover it up with vegetables!
And then?
Everything else was a mess.
Crab Rice Cakes too hard.
Braised Ribs over done.
Buddha Jumping Over Wall too salty.
I can't explain how
even the sweet dessert soup
turned out salty.
No wonder people call you Puffy.
Your food sucks!
The catering master's a woman.
That's why.
I'm a man.
I'm so mad.
Don't be mad, Director Hong.
Come on, let's go have a drink.
Dad's marvelous reputation
totally ruined by you.
So there's a popular saying now:
"Pigs will throw up"
"Cats will run screaming"
"We'd rather go hungry"
"than having to eat;'
"Puffy's food. "
It's not funny!
I lost my shirt on this bet.
Dad said you're not cut out for this.
You were just asking for trouble.
Your dad said you had talent. So?
Ran off to Taipei to be a "model".
I still haven't seen you on TV.
Or are you actually
an adult video actress?
How can you say that?
What do you want me to say?
Did I say it's bad to be an AV actress?
Being an AV actress
is also a real profession.
The way you say
sounds like you look down on them.
I don't!
You do!
I don't!
You do!
So, are you really an AV actress now?
So what if I am?
Then I want to watch it.
Show me!
Show you what?
I want to watch it.
Are you in softcore or hardcore?
I'm not in either!
I will never be an AV actress!
Have you shown all your body parts?
Stop it!
Please come in.
What can I get for you
three handsome boys?
We're not handsome boys.
We are
"Animals on Call".
I'm Monster Tsai.
I'm Beast Liu.
I'm Demon Li.
Rice with Pork Chop.
Rice with Chicken Leg.
Fried Rice with Egg.
Okay!
Right away.
Put the tomato in here.
Put it in.
All of it, all of it.
When Ah Fa was a kid
he wanted Scrambled Tomato
and Eggs every afternoon.
Now he's in prison
so it's hard to eat what he wants.
Did you draw this?
Yes.
It's really good.
Auntie,
is that a century egg?
Yes, it is.
You made it yourself?
Yes.
Feel free to try it.
It has a tea flavor.
You're an expert.
We soak it with tea leaves.
Dump that asshole!
Such a stupid girl.
Who are you talking to?
Hsia.
Hsia?
Who's she?
A character on this show.
Why haven't you taken a bath yet?
The show's not over.
When are you going back?
I'm not going back.
Why?
I'm on the run.
Maybe we can run away together.
How much you owe?
Around 900 thousand.
That's a lot!
Hard to make money in the AV business?
You're not popular anymore.
You silly girl.
Dump that asshole.
Hey,
what are you looking at?
Just checking on their business today.
They have a new "spicy" girl.
But their business
isn't any better.
I've told you many times.
Tasty is more important than spicy.
Spicy is really important, too.
Here.
Ma'am,
do you want
to make your beef stew tastier?
I'm Doctor Gourmet.
Why do you dress like
an elevator girl everyday?
It's called fashion.
You just don't understand.
It's more like flashing to me.
Welcome.
Animals on Call, right?
What would you like to have?
Fried Rice with Egg.
Rice with Pork Chop.
Rice with Chicken Leg.
Same as yesterday?
In different order.
I had Rice with Pork Chop last time.
Just a second. Have a seat.
Can we take a picture with you?
Sure.
We've decided to start a fan club for you.
We've decided to start a fan club for you.
If you're ever in trouble,
just call us.
We'll take care of everything.
I want a picture too.
Here.
Over here.
Come on,
one more.
Have a seat!
What are you having?
Have a seat!
Hello.
I'm Mr. Huang.
I'm looking for Master Fly Spirit.
Master Fly Spirit?
How did you find this place?
His neighbor's wife told us.
Don't worry.
I won't tell anyone.
Why are you looking for him?
I'd like him to cater for me.
For your grandson's wedding?
No.
It's for our wedding.
Congratulations!
How many tables?
Just one table, ten courses.
And I have the menu.
Let me see.
Eight Treasures Rice Cake Rolls,
Darkened Vinegar Prawns,
Stuffed Sea Eels.
Why these traditional dishes?
50 years ago,
we met for the first time
at a wedding banquet.
They served these 10 courses.
Wow,
first love.
So for our own wedding,
we want to have the same courses.
It was the best food I have ever had.
The catering master for that banquet was
was...
...Master Tiger Nose.
We heard that he retired
and passed his skills onto an apprentice
named Master Fly Spirit.
Sorry.
But
Master Fly Spirit passed away.
Huh?
Sorry.
I should have told you earlier.
I'm his wife.
But
these 10 courses you want
I don't know how to make them.
You don't have to make all 10 courses.
It is okay to have just some of them.
I don't know how to make any of them.
It's okay if we don't have a wedding.
I'm happy the way things are.
Sorry to bother you.
Thank you.
Hold on.
I'll take care of the catering.
Who are you?
I'm Master Fly Spirit's daughter.
When's the wedding?
We haven't set a date yet.
But she says
if we have traditional courses
the wedding will mean more.
No problem.
Uncle, give me your phone number.
I need some time to prepare.
I'll call you as soon as I'm ready.
Are you sure you can handle it?
Your happiness
is in my hands.
Great.
That's great.
This is my phone number.
Thanks again.
My pleasure.
Thank you.
Get ready for your wedding banquet.
Sorry.
Why are you all staring at me?
Waiting to hear your plans.
I don't have any plans.
I'm just thinking of what I can wear
to the wedding that day.
You see?
She's a real character.
What a cute character!
Thanks.
Crazy.
You promised something you can't deliver.
You might as will have promised
that you could deliver them a baby.
I have my dad's book of recipes.
It must have recipes for
these courses in it.
Really?
Why didn't you say so?
But I lost it...
Why didn't you say so?
I once saw a website
about a Doctor Gourmet
who teaches cooking.
He can make almost any dish.
Yes, yes! Call Doctor Gourmet!
Here's the phone number.
"House Call, Catering Support,
Solving all your Gastronomic Needs. "
Sounds more like Doctor Urology to me.
Hello.
Hello, is this Doctor Gourmet?
Speaking.
Never forget your luggage.
You?
Is the fly gone yet?
Still there, hasn't flown away.
You two know each other?
We've met.
What a coincidence.
Come in first.
Okay.
See you.
So
you're a chef?
Not a regular chef.
I'm Doctor Gourmet.
Amazing.
So, you know how to make these courses?
Let me see.
You have shrimp,
bamboo shoot and mushroom?
Yes.
Then...
let's do it.
Cool!
"Northern Gourmet Doctor with 16 Knives"
is my full nickname.
So you live in the North?
Taoyuan.
Is Taoyuan considered the North?
North of Taichung is considered North.
Welcome to the South.
Are you going to cook?
Yes!
Good, hurry! Move it!
This way.
North.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow wow wow wow wow.
Delicious!
Make another dish.
I only know this one dish.
What?
This can't be.
A couple's happiness is in your hands!
You know they're relying on you?
Uh,
I thought their happiness
was in your hands?
These are all traditional courses.
You know that?
We know.
They're my dad's specialties.
He's Master Fly Spirit.
Master Fly Spirit is your dad?
He's a legend!
But he passed away,
and we can't make them.
What about you, Ma'am?
I'm all mouth and no hands.
I have a rough idea.
Very rough.
I've tried these courses.
But the taste...
I forgot.
I'm spending the next few days in Tainan.
How about
I stop by and work on it everyday.
Great! Thank you.
You're welcome.
Silly Girl is blowing her horn
Do So La Si Fa
In my hands it's so beautiful
with a sparkling glow
I have a lovely voice
Do So La Si Fa
Your eyes are so beautiful...
Didn't you see us earlier?
I didn't notice you.
What were you singing?
Something I wrote.
Sounds nice.
What course do you want to try today?
Chrysanthemum with Bamboo
and Scallop.
Great.
Let's do it.
The flavor's not right.
Not right.
Not right.
It's off.
Think about it.
I'm going to watch TV.
You must really like eating eggs.
They're for something else.
What dish is it for?
It's called Eggs' Happiness.
What the heck is that?
I'll tell you a story.
Ming had a crush for May for a while.
One day, Ming bravely told May.
"May, I've liked you for a long time. "
"Can we go steady?"
"But you're too pale. "
"I don't like men that are too pale. "
May walks away without looking back.
Ming is heart-broken.
But he tries hard to change himself.
One day, while walking down the street,
May hears someone calling her
from behind.
"May!"
"You are...?"
"I'm Ming. "
"I've tanned in Kenting
for a week for you. "
"Do you like it?"
"You're very handsome. "
"Now you're just my type. "
They start going steady,
get married,
and live happily ever after.
Then...
it's not over yet?
And then they have a baby tea egg.
Who on earth told you this story?
I made it up myself.
Very creative.
(Stylish New Dish: Eggs' Happiness)
Hi, handsome.
Come have some noodle.
Come have some noodle.
We have noodles and rice.
So flavorful and flaky.
This is
like a scorching desert
drenched in spring rain.
Nice description.
Really?
I've never had this.
What's it called?
I don't have a name for it yet.
Lotus, Cilantro, Chinese yam...
Lotus... Yam... Lo... Ya
Lo Ya... Loving Ya.
"Loving Ya", it is!
Beautiful!
Nice!
Hello.
Uncle, how are you?
Almost there.
Working on 2 more courses.
I guarantee it will be great.
Let you have " Yesterday Once More "
all the way
Great!
We'll let you know when they're ready.
Okay.
Okay okay.
The old uncle just called.
That was a nice response.
Nice my ass!
What should we do now?
Was Master Fly Spirit their caterer?
No, her dad wasn't that old.
It was his master, Master Tiger Nose.
Master Tiger Nose!
Yes.
He knows every recipe in the world.
He must know all the traditional courses.
Right!
I wonder what he's doing now?
Master!
I haven't seen you in so long!
How are you?
Hsia, did you miss me?
Hsia again?
Miss,
hurry and get my bottle of Cognac.
All right,
let's have a drink first.
Drink first.
After a drink,
I'll take you out for some fun.
I don't want to go out.
I just want to ask you
if you know any good traditional dishes
that you can teach us?
Sure, I can teach you how to dance!
I'll take both of you.
What's wrong with him?
Let me try.
Okay, you're in show business.
Master Tiger Nose,
I can be your
new girl.
Very cute, very cute.
Hurry,
bring out the 25-year-old bottle.
That's okay!
Master Tiger Nose,
I'm so hungry right now.
Why didn't you say so?
I'll cook for you.
Good, good.
I want to eat your
most famous dish.
No problem.
Rosemary!
Fried Rice Noodle!
Fried Rice Noodle?
Master,
is this your most famous dish?
Anything else?
Brother Tiger Nose!
Any more famous dishes?
Who are you?
I'm your new girl.
New girl?
Then who am I?
Damn,
what happened to him?
Grandpa is tired.
Too good!
How can it taste so good?
Rice noodles are made from rice
but it's turned into something better.
Rice would be so proud to see
what rice noodles have become.
This is the best Fried Rice Noodle.
This is really the best Fried Rice Noodle!
Ma'am,
tomorrow I'm catering for a councilman
at his house.
His guest requested Fried Rice Noodle.
Can you go and make it for them?
Hello, Chairman Hsu.
The chef today is very famous.
He often helps out at big restaurants.
Miss,
is the Fried Rice Noodle ready?
Chairman Hsu loves to eat
Fried Rice Noodle.
Coming right up.
Here comes the Fried Rice Noodle.
Puffy!
What the hell are you doing here?
What's wrong?
She catered for me last time.
The food she made was inedible.
She humiliated me.
Don't worry!
She's not the catering master today!
She made the Fried Rice Noodle though.
What?
Chairman Hsu, you'd better not touch it.
Or else you'll get a stomachache.
I want to try it.
Here.
Let me serve you.
Please.
(Back-Site Station)
50 years ago,
I left with Hsiung to Taipei for a new start.
Hsiung.
What are you doing here?
Nothing.
I made this for you.
To eat on the road.
All right!
Hurry home now!
You can have it.
I've eaten so much I'm sick of it.
After that, every time I went home
she asked me to take Fried Rice Noodle
to Hsiung.
Hsu,
give this to Hsiung for me.
Actually,
I ate all the Fried Rice Noodle myself.
Hsiung already had another girl in Taipei
and had forgotten about her.
This went on for a year
before I completely lost touch with her.
I heard she went to
Taipei looking for Hsiung.
Though Hsia never made
Fried Rice Noodle for me,
I could never forget this flavor.
Hsia?
Ever since then, I've never had
Fried Rice Noodle this good again.
Thank you so much.
See!
I told you she's a great catering master.
You make wonderful food.
You should enter the
National Catering Contest.
National Catering Contest?
The government's putting it on.
I'm a consultant and sponsor.
First place wins 1 million.
1 million?
It's 1 million!
We should sign up for it.
It's not a contest for
best Fried Rice Noodle.
Ma'am.
What are you doing here now?
I'd like to borrow your scooter.
Picking up some chicks?
You missed.
Let me take you somewhere.
Oh, okay.
So I guess you're the chick?
Shut up.
Pour it from the side.
Got it?
It;ll taste better.
It's really good.
Good?
Really good.
My kids
will eat three bowls of rice
when I make this dish.
My Slacker
really enjoys going out.
Maybe the two of them are out
fooling around.
Fooling around?
Not a chance.
She said a long time ago:
"I will never marry a chef. "
He's not a chef, he's a doctor.
Sir,
what would you like to have?
What's that?
Eggs' Happiness.
It's our specialty.
Your specialty?
Yes.
I'll try it.
Coming right up.
How much?
This dish was once called
Eggs' Dilemma.
Right here
is where the canal bends.
This bridge
is the "New Lin An Bridge".
This one is the "Jing Hua Bridge".
These two bridges are close,
but can't see each other.
The fish around here are very nosy.
They'll jump out of water to eavesdrop.
When the bridges
need to talk to each other,
they ask fish to help them.
To bridge the gap.
So, when people need to communicate,
we say:
"Let's bridge the gap. "
You made this up yourself?
I didn't have playmates when I was a kid
so I made up stories for fun.
Really?
I put a box over my head.
And then
I can enter a whole other world.
That's awesome!
I'll try it too next time.
Why are you so obsessed with
making Scrambled Tomato and Eggs?
Isn't it all the same?
Not at all.
It's easy to make the dish
but every mother has her own take on it.
You chefs are all the same.
My dad too.
All he cared about was
what his customers liked.
But never about what I would like.
You're Master Fly Spirit's daughter.
How can you say that?
Cooking means something.
And what's that?
Even if you make 1000 types
of Scrambled Tomato and Eggs?
So what?
What purpose would it give to your life?
I don't expect it to give me a purpose.
Those were my cellmates
who missed their mother's cooking.
Even convicted felons
miss the flavor of their mother's food.
Yes.
I've been in prison.
Now you must want to ask me
why I was in prison.
Not really.
(Fish: Bridging the gap?)
I've got to go.
You want to scare me to death?
I'll tell you!
Sit down!
I saw a ghost today.
What are you talking about?
Master Ghost Head!
He was in our restaurant
to try Eggs' Happiness.
Who's Master Ghost Head?
You've never heard of him?
20 years ago
there were 3 famous Catering Masters.
"Mortal" in the North,
"Ghost;' in the Central,
and "Spirit;' in the South.
Your dad is the Spirit,
Master Fly Spirit.
Oh!
Master Ghost Head is the Ghost.
He was a big-time gangster.
A gangster who loves to cook?
Yes!
He later went to prison
for murder.
Really?
Why did he kill someone?
One time,
some thugs disrupted a banquet.
It was a scary scene.
Screw you!
The food sucks!
I'm going to flip this table!
Listen,
Ghost Head is the catering master today.
He made this food.
You dare to flip the table?
Ghost Head?
Ghost Head can kiss my ass!
If you don't like it, don't eat it.
Who did this?
I did! I'm the man!
And I've flipped every table in Taiwan.
(Ghost Head's Knife)
(AKA: The Bonecutter)
(215 pigs, 2487 chickens)
(1694 cow bones)
(infinite vegetables and fish)
(Crispy Roast Duck)
(Crispy and juicy)
That is scary.
I tried his food one time.
He had some crazy ideas in his head.
His flavors were so unique.
And his carving and chopping so precise.
How did you get to try his food?
He took offense of your dad's
"Spirit;' Title.
And challenged him one time.
Who won?
Your dad did of course.
WC.
But he still wasn't convinced.
I heard
that his cooking turned odd.
And his temper got even worse.
How about "Mortal" in the North?
You mean Master Silly Mortal?
I've never met him or tried his food.
But I heard he was very eccentric.
He refused to cater for
the rich or powerful.
That's why everyone
called him Master Silly Mortal.
They said eating his food
would trigger feelings
of being human.
Feelings of being human?
What does it mean?
I guess it means...
at least you're not a deg.
Hai.
Master,
why are you out?
Master, whose house is this?
Tsai's old home.
Tsai?
Apprentice of Master Fly Spirit.
He's worried he doesn't have it anymore.
He asked me to be his secret weapon.
Secret weapon for what?
For this catering contest.
Nonsense.
But why are you helping him?
After you got out of prison,
I've been trying to create a dish
that combines all my ideas
from the last 30 years.
I've figured it out now.
You have to help me though.
Sure.
What do you need?
Be my tongue and hands.
Be your what?
My taste buds have all gone bad.
My tongue can't distinguish
different flavors.
So
you're making a special dish
for the contest?
This will probably be my final dish.
Master.
Why don't you just compete
instead of helping him?
I'd rather be a ghost with no name.
Okay! Start!
Try yours first, then mine.
Master,
yours tastes much better.
We made fish paste the same way.
Why are the flavors so different?
Your fish was full of grief.
You think it gave up its life willingly?
It's not happy.
Be serious.
How about this piece of meat?
Not willingly.
Because they died unwillingly,
the meat is full of grief.
What can we do about it?
Depends on how you butcher it.
You can remove the grief.
How do I do that?
With your heart.
And your knife.
The speed of chopping can
determine the amount of grief.
Master, are you joking?
Even if it were a joke,
it's the last joke you'll hear from me.
Let me chop again for you to see.
See the difference?
I have an idea.
Let's enter the contest
with the traditional courses.
We can kill two birds
with one stone.
That's right!
Can we win though?
Think positive.
What if we win?
It;ll be wonderful!
Bring home 1 million.
Yes!
It's nice to have a dream.
Even better to have the money.
Surprise!
Come have a seat.
Miss Wan,
long time no see.
Ma'am.
Do you want some noodles?
Take a look at this.
Your daughter signed it.
I'm starving.
How about a bowl of noodles?
9 million?
I thought you said 900 thousand.
What's the difference?
I can't pay any of it.
You can't pay it back?
You know what happens
if you don't pay?
What?
For example:
You get hit by a oar.
A billboard falls on you.
Some strangers beat you up for no reason.
You can't find your remote
while watching TV.
Hey hey hey.
It's not a big deal.
We'll pay you back.
But you need to give us more time.
How much longer?
Not much.
We're entering
the National Catering Contest.
If we win
first prize is 1 million.
That's not enough.
Why not?
Once we're famous,
everyone will want us to cater for them.
We'll make lots of money.
And with all that money
we can pay you back.
Sit down!
This contest had better be real.
You can check online! Go ahead!
I will.
Afterwards,
when I'm famous.
I'll get to host TV shows.
And even shoot commercials.
Really!
You sure you can win?
You don't sound like a pro.
Have you ever heard of the caterer
Master Fly Spirit?
Have you?
He was her dad, my husband.
Chairman Hsu?
How about him?
He asked us to compete in the contest.
I have very strong support.
What happens if you lose?
Let's bet then!
Don't just watch from the sidelines.
Hey hey hey.
Okay!
If you win,
you give me the 1 million right away.
No problem.
I have a question though.
You're full of questions.
How did you find us here?
Your neighbor's wife told us.
The preliminary contest starts in 3 days.
Just 3 days?
Okay!
Alright!
From now on, we're inseparable.
We leave for Taipei tomorrow morning.
Wait... leave for Taipei?
Where will we stay in Taipei?
Taipei's expensive,
let's crash at Miss Wan's place.
I don't think we can.
The landlord
probably rented it out already.
What should we do?
What should we do?
We can ask Animals on Call.
Who?
Animals on Call.
But I need to stop by home first.
Damn,
the electricity's off.
Stop shining that at me.
Why do you carry flashlights with you?
That's what pros do.
Hey hey hey.
Hey what?
Here.
It's dark.
Here.
Help me carry this.
Okay okay.
Serious stuff.
What are you looking for?
Hubby,
your daughter and I
will make you shine again.
Bless us so we can win this contest.
Turn the ignition, stop on the gas.
Come on.
No, just stop on it.
Do you know what you're doing?
Go.
Harder.
It's on! it's on!
This van can still move.
Nice, it's still got it.
Up so early?
We haven't gone to sleep yet.
We posted online
you're going to Taipei for the contest.
There were thousands of replies
right away.
We found you a hotel.
This is the address and phone number.
Thanks.
Who are they?
Our assistants.
We call them Stooges.
What's up! You are?
Stooge A
Stooge B
Stooges A and B, start loading up.
What?
What?
Hurry up. Move your asses.
What are you staring at?
Hurry, come on.
Get it together.
How are you? Stooge A.
How are you? Stooge B
Hello!
Ai Fong Eatery. Can I help you?
What?
The police station?
What happened?
Grandpa
grabbed this old lady's ass.
Old lady? I'm not that old!
Look at this
old fart.
Old pervert.
Ma'am, calm down.
He's lost his mind. Don't be angry with him.
He wouldn't have touched you
if he was thinking clearly.
Are you saying I'm ugly?
No no,
that's not what she meant.
Please calm down, calm down.
That's it. I want him to move out now.
Move out? Where else can they live?
I don't care.
I'll sue him if he doesn't leave.
Don't just throw them out.
Where can they go?
Have some compassion!
Move out now!
Fine! We will!
Fat ass!
Who are you calling a fat ass?
You're the fat ass!
What now!
Do we have to take them with us?
What else can we do?
Leave them?
Change the song.
This one keeps repeating.
We can't. Stereo's busted.
This is it.
It's driving me nuts.
I think this song's pretty good.
(Hai, going to Taipei
for a catering competition)
Hi, Little Fish?
We're here.
We're here. Thanks.
He's coming to get us.
Is that him?
Him?
WC!
You sure his name isn't huge fish?
Welcome, you're Wan?
Then...
you must be huge One.
You can follow me inside in a moment.
Thanks a lot.
Why is it so dark here?
This is the back entrance.
Why don't we stay at the Grand Hotel?
This way please.
I managed to get 3 rooms for you all.
Right here?
No.
Lower your voice a bit.
Just go straight.
What a crappy place.
What if someone finds out?
No way, my girlfriend works the front desk.
The manager
doesn't check this area at night.
We're all online friends
with Animals on Call.
The Animal on Calls are well-connected.
Now you know.
You said your girlfriend
works the front desk?
Nowadays the catering masters
are so wasteful
They don't care about saving the costs.
Look at this
expensive stuff.
WC.
These scallions and garlic were unused.
What a waste.
You!
It's you!
My notebook.
Stop running!
Hey!
Stop running!
Stop running!
Give me back my notebook!
Hey!
Stop running!
Hey!
Hey!
Stop running!
Hey! Stop running!
Where's my notebook?
Sorry,
I wasn't careful with it.
I tore out some pages to make a fire.
You burned my dad's book of recipes!
Are you interested in cooking?
I have no interest.
That's fine then.
There's no use in something
you don't need.
Don't be upset.
I'll cook something good for you.
What are you cooking today?
Cabbage Stew.
Smells good.
This old uncle surely knows how to cook.
I've gained 5 kilograms
since I transferred here.
It's ready.
Me first.
You first.
You knew to bring scallions,
just what I need.
Smart.
You brought me soy sauce.
Be careful. Come back for seconds.
Come get some
if you want.
You do that, too?
Where are you?
I'm on
a beach by the sea.
How romantic.
I'm on the Moon.
Is it cold on the Moon?
Not bad. A bit chilly.
How about there? Sea breeze too windy?
Not too bad.
You're...
Master Silly Mortal.
How did you know?
My mom said:
Eating Master Silly Mortal's food
will trigger emotions that
make you feel really human.
But...
Why do I feel like crying?
You're so young and pretty.
Why are you crying?
I just feel bitter.
Did you know...
Bitter melon wasn't like that originally.
It's because of green popper and tomato.
Green popper
felt bad about its bitter taste.
And not being red or popular like a tomato.
So it often vent to bitter melon.
But a tomato
doesn't want to be so red or popular.
It just wants to be itself.
So it also vented a lot to bitter melon.
All the venting stuck with bitter melon.
And it started to grow bumps.
That's why bitter melon
looks the way it does.
So,
is green popper happier
than bitter melon?
You're so silly.
Trying to make sense of my bullshit.
So what's so great
about being a catering master?
A catering master
can turn green pepper and bitter melon
into delicious food.
You can be proud and make others happy.
You feel happy
making other people happy?
Of course.
I don't have to hear people vent.
I don't have to hear people vent.
Wouldn't that make you happy?
You're not silly at all.
Why are you called Master Silly Mortal?
You sure I'm not silly?
This whole time I've been arguing with you
wearing a box on my head.
You sure I'm not silly?
Then,
but why are you a drifter
instead of a chef?
You'd know if you were on the Moon.
There's nothing to cook.
Why do you want to go to the Moon?
It's less crowded
and cooler here.
Some day
will I go to the Moon too?
Hey!
No way.
Be nice, give me my space.
You stay on the beach.
The beach has nicer scenery
and it's more popular.
Oh.
Master, you go in and take a rest.
I have no idea where Slacker went.
Please stop mumbling.
Here she is.
Where the heck have you been?
The Moon.
Hey,
we've been waiting on earth for you.
But you decided to go to the damn Moon.
This hotel room is very comfy.
What are you looking at?
Math homework?
No.
Then what's this?
I found the notebook Dad left me.
But look,
there are only a few pages left.
Let me see.
This is Honey Cashew Nuts.
Yes.
This is Shrimp Rolls.
What's this drawing of?
Dad was describing
how to take the eel
and de-bone it.
And then stuff it
with different ingredients.
You can understand it?
Yep.
This is Stuffed Sea Eel.
No one knows how to make it.
Shrimp Rolls and Honey Cashew Nuts.
We could make these as appetizers.
But we still need 3 more dishes
for the starter.
Go and find that Super Fish guy.
No, you mean Little Fish.
Whatever, just find that fish.
Mom, you really think we can compete?
Just do it!
There's no use
watching from the sidelines.
Hurry!
It's not funny.
It's too narrow to walk through.
Just be careful.
You can do your preparations here.
The manager will be in soon.
So don't go downstairs for now.
Okay okay.
By the way,
I got some ingredients for you.
For the cold starter: top shell, jelly fish.
Canned top shell and jolly fish.
All right.
And here's the best one:
Sausages based on
my family secret recipe
Handed down from my Grandma.
Finest in the world.
Wonderful!
We know it's delicious by looking at you.
Okay, good luck everyone!
I have to go.
Okay, thanks!
Thanks so much.
Over here.
Great,
now we have 5 items for the cold starter.
I'll do the Honey Cashew Nuts first.
You teach them
how to make Shrimp Rolls.
Okay.
Come help out.
Us?
Yeah.
You want us to work?
Aren't you Stooge A and Stooge B?
Stooges have to help cater.
But we're just pretending to be stooges.
Go screw yourself.
We can all quit now.
We'll quit and all go to prison
for the money we owe.
You owe us money
and you expect us to work?
Fine! Let's just all quit!
So dramatic.
You'd better get me first the place.
Not second place.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
Bro, can you help me move this?
Please, it's so heavy.
What's the problem?
Did you not eat? So weak!
Show some strength.
I hate doing this.
That's right. This is it.
I hate doing this.
You got it.
Do it again.
I hate doing this.
Again.
Again.
That's it.
Lift it up.
I hate doing this.
Yes yes, great job.
I hate doing this.
I hate doing this.
I hate doing this.
Okay!
Focus on feeling every single chop.
The grief's all gone.
Look.
Here!
Wear this for the contest tomorrow.
Professional!
Very professional.
No way. it's ugly.
It's not. Your dad wore it, don't complain.
Well I don't want to.
Just wear it.
Whatever. I'm going to take a shower.
The contest starts tomorrow.
Get your spirits up.
What are you going to wear then?
The preliminary round of
Taiwan's first National Catering Contest
has finally begun.
Today's challenge is cold starters.
98 catering masters
have some from all over
to prepare their best
cold starters.
They're broadcasting this.
I need to put on more make up.
Little girl.
Can you deliver this
to a woman named Chan Hsiao Wan?
Repeat after me.
Chan Hsiao Wan.
What are you doing here?
Little girl,
never mind. Thanks.
What is this?
Meaning.
What meaning?
Do you know?
Something just ordinary to others,
can have real meaning
to the right person.
This is for you.
Hope that in your life
you can find some meaning.
And that you'll think of me.
Huh?
What are you talking about?
Let's go for it!
This has gone sour.
Damn! Jolly fish has gone bad!
What's that you're holding?
I ran into Hai.
What's this?
Meaning.
It's just a century egg.
Meaning my ass.
We could replace the jelly fish with it!
Okay,
our judges
have already started evaluating.
Looks like various entries
have been selected.
Thanks thanks.
That was easier than I thought.
Hey hey hey.
Hey hey hey your ass.
Don't get too cocky yet.
We still have the second round tomorrow.
The most important thing now
is to prepare Master Fly Spirit's specialty.
Stuffed Sea Eel.
Sounds like it's hard to make.
Definitely not easy.
Not easy for sure.
That's why you have to work harder.
I'll leave it to you guys.
Be careful.
Why does she get to go?
Why does she?
Her nickname is Slacker, right?
Come on,
Stooge B,
grab an eel.
Me?
Hurry up!
Hold its head down.
You have work to do too.
Don't think I forgot.
Now take this.
And cut it open
from here.
Why didn't you warn me?
About what?
Here's the knife.
I can't do it.
Cut the eel open.
Hurry! The eel is slipping away.
Come on. Hurry.
Aren't you a gangster? Here.
No way, you do it.
You two are really awesome.
Too bad that you're bad guys.
I'm not a bad guy.
Stooge A,
pick the bones out with chopsticks.
Then stuff the ingredients in.
Impossible.
Who do you think I am?
Didn't you major in Arts and Crafts?
Move your hand.
Like this?
That's right.
Got it.
Nice!
Really.
Nice!
It's damn delicious.
Damn delicious.
Yummy.
We're going to win!
We are!
How's it going?
Finished. Here.
Slacker, try it.
Hurry.
No, thanks. I don't eat fish.
But we're making fish tomorrow.
You're not going?
That's right.
Even if you might be on TV?
On TV?
Yeah.
Hurry up.
Okay.
I need to put on more make up.
Taiwan's first National Catering Contest
has started it's second round.
Today's category is fish.
Let's see what amazing dishes
the top 10 chefs
will prepare for us.
It's show time!
Miss Wan looks so beautiful.
Nice!
Go for it!
Go Wan.
Okay,
our judges have started their evaluating.
Let's wait patiently.
Okay, the time has now come
for our judges to announce
which 2 finalists made the
final competition.
We'd like to announce
that the 2 finalists are:
Number 21, Liao Yi Tsai.
Yeah!
And Number 10, Hsiao Jin Rong.
They chose us!
No way.
Are they all blind?
How can this be?
Are you sure? That's not right!
Don't applaud.
This isn't fair.
Not right!
Wait a second.
Looks like something's going on.
One of the judges has a concern.
Everyone,
the ingredient Mr. Hsiao used
was crocodile meat.
Strictly speaking,
crocodile is not fish.
I knew it.
Right, crocodile isn't fish.
Therefore, we're disqualifying
number 10, Mr. Hsiao.
The runner up Chan Hsiao Wan is now
in the final competition.
That's more like it!
Not fair.
Must be a mistake.
Crocodile isn't fish, are you sure?
We won! We won!
How are eels considered fish?
Our final competition will be in two days.
A duel between
famous Southern catering master,
Master Tsai.
And the rookie female chef, Master Wan.
The Real Duel!
Don't push your luck.
Move it.
We've got 2 wins in a row already.
How are you?
I thought you were afraid of fish.
But I couldn't even tell.
I forgot.
Slacker, the final competition is in 2 days.
We haven't figured out
what 5 courses to make.
Okay.
Let's pick 5 courses
from the wedding menu.
Look this.
Cabbage Stew.
I can make that.
Let's do Fried River Eels.
It's your dad's most famous course.
We'll win with it for sure.
Sure.
But I'm afraid to. You do it.
Don't be like that.
I've ruined his reputation once already.
This time you have to win.
Please.
Please, please.
How about this:
We try making all the
courses on the menu
and compete with the one we make best?
Okay!
Let's see.
We should put the turtle
in the pork belly first,
then stuff it into the chicken.
No,
I think we should take the pork belly
and put it in the chicken first.
Then put the turtle into the pork belly.
How's that different from what I said?
Enough.
You two figure it out.
Wan and I will do
the Spareribs with Water Chestnuts.
Why do we always get the hardest job?
You can do this dish then!
If you know how, then do it!
Listen, we've got 2 wins already.
We're just one stop away from first prize.
Let's work as a team.
Okay?
Okay! Okay!
We'll go do it over there.
Fine, fine.
Teamwork.
Fine, teamwork, teamwork.
Go for it!
We don't have any water chestnuts!
What should we do?
Work first on something else.
What else?
What can we make...
Here it is.
It's done.
Here.
Here.
How can you be so sick!
Sick?
Look,
I squeezed the turtle's head
into the chicken's behind,
then the chicken's head into the pork belly.
Perfect!
Gross!
I've got it.
You have to gut the chicken first.
Then stuff the turtle in.
Gut the chicken?
Right!
We have the best cutting knife here,
ready to go!
Hey hey hey.
They call me "The Sharpest Knife".
Great!
Awesome.
So amazing.
Amazing! Amazing!
Wait.
There's a hole here.
Not even a small hole?
No.
You can do better.
Go do it.
This belongs to Tsai.
500 pieces.
Do 500 pieces first.
Master,
we have to listen to music?
I thought I told you before.
Everyone should have a theme song
for his life.
And a different song
for every part.
So whenever you hear a particular song
it can take you back
to that part of your life.
After the scallions,
do the ham and mushroom.
I feel like an oriental tailor.
Go for it!
You have your song.
So do I.
Silly Girl is blowing her horn
Do So La Si Fa
Oops,
exploded again.
How come?
No big deal.
The turtle's still inside the chicken.
No.
It needs to be perfect. It can't explode.
Wrong flavor.
Let me think of a way.
What other way is there?
It's too tough,
like chewing a rubber band.
It's raining.
Take a break for now.
Your weather here in Taipei is weird,
so erratic.
Your weather here in Taipei is weird,
so erratic.
I don't know. Take a break.
Sunny this moment and raining the next.
Master Silly Mortal.
Master Silly Mortal.
Yes?
Master Silly Mortal, there you are.
Well,
I'm going to compete soon.
But I don't know what to do.
Your dad was so great, so famous.
And you don't know what to do.
It's not that.
I have to make traditional flavors.
Traditional flavors?
Traditional soy sauce might help
if you can find it.
Traditional soy sauce?
But without a traditional heart,
how can you make traditional flavors?
Traditional heart?
Come over again tomorrow night.
Good night.
You're taking this too seriously!
Where are Master Tiger Nose
and Rosemary?
They probably went out for a walk.
Thanks for the card.
Got a flush now.
The competition is tomorrow.
Aren't you nervous?
Very nervous. Flush!
Super nervous...
about getting a bad card!
Here comes my straight flush.
What straight flush?
You're going bust.
What a joke. No way.
Mark it down, mark it down.
Forget it, we're not keeping track.
No, let's stop playing.
You can't play this way.
Miss Wan!
You're so awesome!
We miss you!
You're going to win for sure.
Where are you guys?
Having beef noodles at the place
across from yours.
Say hi to the boss for me.
Boss, Miss Wan says "Hi. "
Good, hello.
I need your help.
No problem.
Tell us,
we'll make sure to deliver.
You guys are
internet experts.
Do you know
where to get traditional soy sauce?
I also need...
fresh water chestnuts.
So you need traditional soy sauce
and water chestnuts?
When do you need them?
Soon! The final round's tomorrow.
No problem! We'll make sure to deliver!
Search for traditional soy sauce first.
No need to search!
The best traditional soy sauce
is right here with me.
Wang Chi Dan.
Shut your mouth!
The soy sauce belongs to the Wangs.
I'll do whatever I want with it.
This soy sauce was handmade
the old fashioned way.
Based on the Wangs' secret family recipe
that's over a thousand years old.
Just a tiny drop of it
will turn tasteless food
into a delicacy.
King Yue once fueled himself
with vengeance
by eating a raw gall bladder dipped
in our soy sauce.
It was the only way to take the bitterness.
The great poet Su
also used our family's soy sauce
to create his renowned
stewed pork recipe.
However,
no one knows how to make it anymore.
Ever since my grandmother passed away.
This is the last jug on earth.
Take it and give it to Miss Wan!
You sure?
What I say goes!
You're the man!
But how come your stew isn't so good?
Yeah.
Why would I waste my family heirloom
on you kids?
We need to find water chestnuts too.
We have to get going.
Get out of here.
Master.
Hurry, come play.
Come over here.
Master,
we're playing "13 Pieces".
Did you think we're playing "Go Fish"?
13 pieces? I only have 8 pieces.
Hey, we're not playing "Deuces".
Let's go, let's go.
Who...
who's in 608?
608?
No one.
Come with me, bring the key.
Hey,
Jaws is coming to get you. Get out.
Hurry up.
It's coming!
Hurry up.
Go this way.
Hurry up.
Mom, keep your voice down.
You, faster!
Faster!
Turns out we can get water chestnuts in
Guan Tian.
We're lucky it's not far.
Sir, Sir.
I'm on Wan's team.
Can we start our preparation?
Station 1, station 1
We have a contestant here,
can we let them go right now?
Yeah, please go.
Thank you how much.
Okay.
No more pictures.
Here, get the ingredients ready.
Take another one...
No more.
Group picture, group picture.
Hurry up.
Are you happy?
Happy.
So what should we do first?
You can...
you can start with broth and fish paste.
What will you do then?
I'll...
I'll try the Chrysanthemum with
Bamboo and Scallop again.
But you failed last time.
Well, don't you know?
Chefs used to try and fail many times
before they could get a good flavor.
Sir, can we ask you a question?
Go ahead.
Can we find water chestnuts nearby?
This is the place.
But,
they've all been harvested already.
All gone?
All gone? Every single one!
Look around, all the fields are empty.
All gone.
There's nothing here either.
This guy says another place
might have them.
Where?
Ming Hsiung in Chia Yi.
Chia Yi?
No big deal, let's bolt over there!
Right! Nothing can stop us.
Let's go!
Hold on.
Where's Demon?
Demon!
Demon!
Demon!
What happened? Are you okay?
The soy sauce...
The last on earth.
The end of the Wang family.
Stop crying! Stand up!
There's still some left inside.
You better take what's left back to
Mr. Wang.
It's not enough anyway.
You have to beg him for forgiveness.
Put it in this bag.
Back already?
Sorry, Mr. Wang.
It broke...
only a third is left.
A third?
That's enough.
This soy sauce has thickened into paste,
it can be diluted.
Oh?
If you have soy sauce
that's 2500 years old
even diluted with water 10 times
the flavor is still 250 years old!
Whoa!
Auntie,
are there any water chestnuts left?
All gone! They're not in season.
Get some cabbage!
They're the best right now.
You think cabbage will be okay?
No problem.
I don't like water chestnuts anyway.
I like cabbage more too.
Out of gas.
What?
It's hot.
Come on.
I think we got it right this time.
Bamboo and Scallops, version two.
How is it?
Fail.
Fail.
Fail.
Is it that bad?
What did I do wrong?
It's missing some flavor.
Don't worry. Let's make rump roast first.
Okay.
I wonder
if they found traditional soy sauce?
I'll call them.
I can't tell what's missing at all.
Hard to tell.
Weird.
I called Demon but it's not going through.
Don't worry.
I can tell you
if they will successfully deliver.
Please pick 3 cards from the deck.
You see!
Clubs mean vegetables.
Queen means Cubic basket.
It says there is a basket of vegetables.
Why did you pick the highway route?
I thought we'd go faster on a bigger road.
Every road leads to Taipei.
What the hell?
Every road leads to your asshole.
The Jack of Clubs.
What color is it?
Black black black.
Right,
what's the color of soy sauce?
Black black black.
And doesn't the shape
of the letter J
look like soy sauce pouring out?
Black black black.
And...
King.
A King has noble supporters!
And the number 13,
13 means lots of them.
It means many noble supporters.
Over here!
Why don't you ever carry your wallet?
I assume you'll have yours.
I spent all my money on cabbage.
Any ideas on how we'll pay for the gas?
Buying betel nuts, handsome?
Can I go online for a second?
Okay, sure.
Thanks.
Bamboo and Scallop version 5, fail.
Okay, let's just take turns sleeping.
You can go first and sleep in the van.
What about you?
I have to do something.
You've been acting mysterious
and disappearing a lot.
Did you go back to being an AV actress?
Can't take a joke?
You're here.
Yep,
what's going on today?
I'm catering!
Catering?
Hurry, come help.
Yes Master! Your Stooge is here.
Good girl.
What's this?
Some leftover Salted Fried Chicken I got.
I'm going to use it to make
Eggplant with 3 Flavor Chicken.
Can you mix them up like that?
Why not?
There are no rules
about what goes together.
Now, Leftover Salty Congee.
Come, everyone!
Let the banquet begin.
Let the banquet begin.
I'd like to toast you all.
Today is a really special banquet.
Thanks.
Thanks, everyone.
I'll tell you something.
In the old days of catering,
a master would show up
with only his utensils.
Did you know that?
I didn't know.
You didn't?
Come with me.
I'll tell you more.
You guys enjoy the meal.
In the old days, a catering master
would leave home
with only his cooking utensils.
Just knives and sieves.
No need to bring anything else.
He'd also bring an apprentice
who didn't bring anything either
except for the cooking utensils.
When he came to the host's home
the host would have everything ready.
All the ingredients would be there.
Neighbors would offer fish and vegetables
if they could.
Most importantly,
all tables, chairs, bowls and plates
were borrowed from neighbors.
You drew all these.
No big deal!
They're just for fun.
Look.
Here.
If a pig was sacrificed,
the catering master would
divide up the meat perfectly.
He had to get it right.
Both he and his apprentice
would then start cooking together.
Country folk back then
only had a few good meals a year.
Everyone came out and were so happy.
Look at you, Stooge.
You did a lot today.
Helping me out.
Everybody helped out and looked happy.
Then the banquet started.
What was the banquet for?
A wedding.
And the newlyweds really loved it.
Then the desserts
and fireworks as the ending notes.
The guests all enjoyed the food.
The host was very honored in the end.
He would give an entire chicken
or a piece of pork
to the catering master.
What else would the catering master get?
He would get...
affection
and appreciation.
More importantly,
he was happy and satisfied in his heart.
Is that
the traditional heart?
That's the traditional catering master.
But that time
has long gone.
Come on, let's go.
Daughter of Master Fly Spirit,
I can't teach you how to cook his dishes.
I can only give you this.
What is it?
It's a dried turnip aged for 40 years.
How do I use it?
We have our hands,
and they have their mouths.
No matter how good your cooking is,
you can't satisfy everyone.
But if your heart is full of joy,
the food will taste good.
Thank you.
No thank you.
Uncle!
You surf the web, too?
Live to learn and learn to live.
Demon!
So cool!
(The Leftover Stew)
Miss Wan!
Ladies and gentlemen,
today is the final round of the contest.
Both finalists
have already started preparing.
The Banquet Contest starts at 6 tonight.
Stooge B,
how's it coming along?
Finished 20, 2 more to go.
I knew you'd be great.
Keep at it.
Hey hey hey.
And you?
I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Having to stuff turtles into chickens.
Oh no!
It ripped apart!
Ripped apart?
You know how hard I tried?
And you ripped it right away!
It ripped. What can I do?
Hey hey hey.
Okay! Okay!
No time to get mad.
You go help wash the vegetables. Go.
Damn, do you think I'm some trainee?
I'm not even getting paid.
And I have to do everything.
Shut up.
We need more helpers.
Should we get Animals on Call to help?
No,
they have a special task.
What now?
Hey hey.
Rosemary,
Can you come help?
Any pay?
Yes, prize money!
Really?
Um.
Come on.
Rosemary, help wash the vegetables.
After that, you can do fish paste...
Go away.
What are you doing?
I asked you to wash...
I've watched for a while.
You're doing it all wrong.
What are you doing?
You have to out the turtle
into big pieces before you
put it inside the chicken
and then into the pork belly.
That's easy. You should've told us earlier.
You could have prevented our fight.
That's right.
Hey hey hey.
How do you know all this?
When Grandpa made it before,
I watched.
WC!
Then... can you make
Chrysanthemum with Bamboo
and Scallop?
Easy.
Really?
It's missing shrimp paste.
That's the missing flavor,
shrimp paste.
Rosemary,
you're amazing.
Master Tiger Nose passed it all on to you.
You're a national treasure.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's do what Rosemary does.
Or we'll be out of time.
There are a lot of tables.
Right.
We also have to make Rump Roast
and Shark Fin.
Right.
We don't have shark fin.
What should we do?
We'll have to rely on this.
Wang family's 2500 year old soy sauce.
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!
The final round
of the First Taiwan Catering Contest
has begun.
Chairman Hsu,
let me introduce the most senior
catering master, a national treasure,
Master Tiger Nose.
I especially arranged for him
to sit with you.
It's an honor.
There will be 3 judges today
who are renowned gourmet experts.
He's known as King Picky from Hell:
Judge King.
He's called the biggest Chow hound
on Earth:
Judge Liu.
She's known as Madam Ruthless:
Judge Jiang.
I'll now introduce our finalists.
Master Wan and her team.
It's so embarrassing wearing this.
And Master Tsai and his team.
Let's welcome them.
Look at those two traitors.
The most special thing about today:
Is that this old couple are newlyweds.
After being apart for 50 years,
they're finally getting married today.
They'll here for their wedding banquet,
catered by Master Wan.
So today really is
a catered banquet.
Thanks, thanks.
Let's welcome
the beautiful Madam Director
to kick off the event.
Madam Director.
Thank you.
Let the banquet...
begin!
Master Tsai is now ready
to serve his first course.
Master Tsai, please.
Chicken Belly Turtle.
Hurry.
Chicken Belly Turtle.
They all look good!
Nice!
Hey hey hey.
Great!
Master Tsai, would you please tell us
the name of this course?
It's called 5 Color Firework.
What's inside this sprout?
Shark fin.
You can put shark fin...
inside a sprout?
Inside you'll also find scallion,
mushroom, or ham.
Master Tsai, very impressive.
Wonderful!
Okay, now let's look at what
Master Wan is serving.
Master Wan, please
Master Wan,
what's this course called?
This is a traditional course.
Called Chicken Belly Turtle.
There's a chicken inside a pork belly and
inside the chicken you'll also find turtle.
There's aged dried turnip in it.
It adds more flavor and depth
to this traditional course.
Really wonderful.
Judges,
please show your winner for this course.
The result is 2 to 1.
Master Wan wins this course.
Congratulations!
Okay.
Master Wan will start the second course.
Nice!
Come on and get the next course out.
Coming.
Here, Master Wan.
The second course is here.
Beautiful Chrysanthemum.
And it looks very elegant.
Master Wan,
what's this course called?
Chrysanthemum with
Bamboo and Scallop.
It gives me a feeling
of beautiful sunshine.
The flavor is like sunshine,
fresh flowers,
and youth.
Really, really refreshing!
It's like falling in love for the first time.
Young Chairman Hsu
must have had many admirers.
No one as beautiful as you though.
You're too kind.
Master Tsai,
may I ask what your next course
is called?
Ghost Knocking Walls.
The meat has a very special flavor
and texture.
In between there are slices of sugar
in wine.
It turns to sauce with just a little heat.
Really marvelous.
It's really like a ghost knocking walls!
Are you three okay?
Now let's see who our judges
have picked as the winner.
Master Tsai is the winner!
Do you even know how to eat?
Impossible.
Okay okay.
Get ready for the next course. Come on.
The next course is
Rump Roast.
Eat Rump Roast, keep your pants on,
you'll be rich!
This was braised
with traditional soy sauce,
over 2500 years old.
Amazing.
This pork
is no ordinary rump.
It's alive!
It's alive!
It's coming back to life.
Let's see what Master Tsai is serving
to compete.
Devil's Tear Drop.
Who knew
the Devil's tear drops were red?
Electricity
is flowing from head to toe.
There's definitely current flowing down
from my head.
But
it stops halfway down.
How come?
Can't you see I'm paralyzed waist down?
What the heck!
Master Tsai wins!
What?
Go!
Go!
That's right. Go!
Go!
Hsia,
don't be too sad.
Someone might have hurt you,
but there's someone else waiting.
Master Tiger Nose,
I'm not Hsia.
Which Hsia are you talking about?
Chiu...
Chiu Yue Hsia!
The one with a mole right here.
Chiu Yue Hsia?
Move it, move it.
Ready to serve Cabbage Stew.
Take all of it.
Hold it. Hold it.
Cabbage Stew
goes to the old couple's table.
I want to do Fried River Eels.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I'll do it on stage.
Nice!
Hey hey hey.
Okay, move everything
onto the stage.
Okay.
Let's be quick.
Master Wan,
what are you working on now?
Fried River Eels.
Fried River Eels, it is.
Fried River Eels.
Everyone,
Master Wan will now perform
a very difficult course.
Fried River Eels!
Dear honored guest,
Fried River Eels may sound simple to you.
But it's not easy to make at all.
It has to be done within 27 seconds
with the biggest possible fire.
Tonight
we have
the beautiful Master Wan
risking her life
to fry river eels for all you guest.
Let's all give her a big hand.
Turn off the light!
Put it in!
More!
Oh, okay.
Rosemary!
WC!
This is really amazing!
WC!
Smells so good.
Try it when it's hot.
What a very impressive course.
Master Tsai, Master Tsai.
Master Tsai, hurry up.
These Fried River Eels are very good.
You're using a potted plant against it?
This course is called No Complaints,
No Regrets.
No Complaints, No Regrets?
This arrangement's beautiful!
But what's the meaning?
A Master taught me how to make it
From a life-time of experience and skill.
After having made this course,
his life would be free
of regrets and grudges.
What kind of stuffing is in these?
5 kinds: Sour, Sweet, Bitter,
Hot, and Numb.
It really covers all flavors of life.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
do you pref or Fried River Eels
or No Complaints, No Regrets?
Show your decision, please.
Master Wan wins, congratulations.
Brother Tsai.
Yes.
Let me do the last course!
Last course?
Isn't it Heaven of ice and Fire?
I change my mind.
I want to do my own course.
You must be kidding.
Not to let you experiment.
Not to let you experiment.
What exactly do you want to make?
Scrambled Tomato and Eggs.
Scrambled Tomato and Eggs?
Are you crazy?
You want to make that dish
for the contest?
Isn't the Heaven of ice and Fire
all ready?
It went bad.
Where does the Hsia you mentioned live?
In Back-Site.
In the backside?
There's no one in the backside.
Hsia loved my Fried Rice Noodle.
She never ate the noodles
I made her though.
You know who ate them instead?
She gave them to Hsiung.
So Hsia's Fried Rice Noodle
were made by you.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Master Tsai
will now serve his last course.
He's not Master Tsai.
Even I know what that is.
It's Scrambled Tomato and Eggs.
Did you make this?
Yes.
Many mothers can make it too.
Maybe you're watching me live on TV.
Although
you left me when I was 6,
the day that you left me
you made Scrambled Tomato and Eggs
that I still remember even now.
Now
I just want to tell you.
I don't resent you anymore.
I'm doing fine.
Please don't worry.
Please enjoy.
Mothers are like the Moon
Shining through the window
With dedication and kindness
Sending out rays of love
Mama.
Mama.
He's standing up on his own!
Awesome!
Mama.
Mama.
He's standing up on his own.
Mama.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
It's now the final course.
Master Wan
your name sounds like "small bowl".
But you're using a big bowl
for the final course.
What's your final course?
Leftover Stew.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
we can't believe the final showdown
is Scrambled Tomato and Eggs
versus Leftover Stew.
I've never touched this thing before.
It looks exactly like leftovers.
Out of all the courses today,
this is the only one
I want to take home with me.
I want to heat it up
and eat it over rice everyday.
Bravo!
C'est la vie!
I didn't think it could taste so good.
But still...
I vote for Scrambled Tomato and Eggs.
It's okay, it's okay.
My vote goes to Leftover Stew.
I think Leftover Stew
is what catering's all about.
The current score
is 1 to 1.
There is one critical vote to go.
Whoever gets the vote
from the Chow hound
will be the champion
of this Catering Contest.
Judge Chow hound, please!
I vote for Leftover Stew!
Congratulations, Master Wan!
You don't even know how to cook.
You want to take it home with you?
I'd now like to announce
that our champion this year
is our...
What's wrong, Judge?
Judge, Judge,
Judge, are you okay?
He's choking! Call an ambulance!
I'll take care of it.
Call an ambulance.
What's wrong? Judge!
I'll take care of it. Move.
Wan's Mom, what are you doing?
He spit it out!
You're welcome.
Who knew?
No big deal.
I'm glad that nothing bad happened.
We will now announce first place.
Hold on!
Judge, what's with you again?
Everyone,
Just now,
I've just had a near-death experience.
Everything suddenly
went dark.
And then
I saw all the food I've ever had
each appearing
in front of me
one by one.
And I thought
if I managed to live
what food I'd most like to eat.
And the image I choose was...
was my favorite dish
I've had in this life.
Everyone!
I'm changing my vote!
Earlier I voted for
Fried River Eels.
Now I'm voting for
Master Tsai's
No Complaints, No Regrets.
Champion! Wonderful!
Ghost Head! We're the champions!
Ghost Head!
It's not fair!
We're the Champion! Champion!
Here come the newlyweds.
Sorry.
We didn't follow your menu exactly.
That's all right.
It tastes a lot like
what we had 50 years ago.
Really delicious. Thank you.
It's nothing.
I'm the one who should thank you.
I wish you two...
happiness in your marriage.
Congratulations.
Hsia,
are you happy today?
I'm very happy.
A lot of people came.
And enjoyed the same flavors
as 50 years ago.
In addition
to the 1 million prize money,
the champion will cater
a State Dinner.
In addition to the
300 thousand prize money,
2nd place gets a contract
from the government
to design lunch boxes for the rail road.
We have to make lunch boxes
for the prize.
First, I'd like to thank our organizer.
I'm Liao Yi Tsai.
People call me Master Tsai.
Everyday, I put my heart into making food
whose taste and flavor
are wonderful beyond words.
Therefore,
winning the championship today
is a confirmation of your choice.
Excellent!
Yes, Master Wan,
any words to share about the award?
Thanks.
Brief but powerful.
Yes.
What a perfect ending
to the First National Catering Contest!
(Wan's Lunch Box Eatery)
Our team was bitter
about not winning.
But
I knew that we crammed up to the end.
We wouldn't have even made it
to the Contest
without so much help from everyone.
Now Mom and I
are in the lunch box business.
Stooges A and B
stayed to run the business with us.
The Animals on Call went back to school.
But we chat online everyday.
Sometimes they talk about
entering the contest again next year.
But I have no interest in doing it.
I'm happy with the lunch box business.
At least,
I get to make myself look pretty everyday.
Oh, about the 9 million debt,
it turned out to be a scam.
Um,
can I pay you 300 thousand for now?
That money,
you don't need to pay us back.
What?
Huh?
The thing is...
You tell her. You tell her!
Here's what happened.
Who's going to get my money back?
Ah long, you two play
"rock paper scissors"
to decide.
Go and get the guy
to pay me back 9 million.
Up ahead!
(IOU - loaned paper)
Surprise!
No need to pay it back.
Here,
this is the IOU.
Here.
Hope you'll never have to pay it back.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys are great.
You had me fooled.
(The Loving Ya)
We're out of garlic.
I'll go buy some.
Okay.
How are you?
An uncle asked me to give you this.
Huh?
Hello.
Hello.
You have an empty box near you?
You have an empty box near you?
Sure.
Put it on.
What for?
Put it on.
Where are you?
On a beach.
How's the weather there?
Very good.
There's a pool sea breeze.
Where are you?
I'm on a beach too.
You're on a beach, too?
I'm sitting next to you.
Love is so sweet.
Even bitter melon isn't so bitter.
Master! Master!
I had a weird dream last night.
In the dream, I had grown very old
and entered a catering contest.
Did you win or lose?
I wasn't in the contest!
It was my apprentice's daughter.
Huh!
You have an apprentice?
A woman caterer. Did she win?
She lost.
You're Master Loser.
I'm not Master Loser.
I'm Master Tiger Nose.
More like Master Runny Nose to me!
Master!
Can I hold the meat for a while?
Don't drop it.
Oops!
Damn, you idiot! I'll kick your ass!
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