Adults (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[train rumbling]
[laughter]
[person 1]
Oh, my God. It's time, Samir.
-Okay. I'll fix it.
I'm gonna fix it.
-[person 1] Yeah, yeah.
We need to shower.
It's getting bad.
You have to call someone.
Please. We're starting
to have a group smell.
Okay. First of all,
I like the group smell.
-And second of all,
why is it on me?
-[chuckles]
-[person 2] What?
-'Cause it's
your parents' house.
-[person 1] Yeah, what?
-Okay.
I will fix the hot water,
and you will all live
like kings again.
and you will all live
like kings again.
-Thank you.
-Oh, thank God.
-Thank you.
-Oh, thank God.
-[Samir] You're welcome.
-Wait. Where's my bag?
-Oh. I got it.
-[sighs] I love you.
-Oh, shit. The keys.
-No, I have the keys.
[sighs] Bro.
Okay, guys, food.
Just back to food.
What are we doing for food?
Ooh, Billie is high.
She has a vision.
Okay. So you know
how the Papa Johns account
followed me back?
-So weird.
-Of course.
I've been DMing them,
sort of flirting.
-[person 3] Mmm.
-They sent me a 20%-off coupon.
We use it tonight. We get home.
We put on that tape
of Samir in The Music Man.
-That's beautiful.
-Okay.
-[person 4] Wow.
-[Samir] Very good.
I like that.
-Okay, so Billie is
a high genius or what?
-[Samir] Yeah, no.
-She's been doing this
since high school.
-No.
Yeah. Yeah. Pre-prom.
The great Sbarro's haul.
My metabolism,
like, stopped that day.
Oh, my God. It's happening.
-[all] What?
-What?
-Oh, shit.
-Oh, fuck.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my gosh.
-[Samir] Oh, my man.
-[group groaning]
-[Billie] Oh, my God.
-It's so big.
-What? Don't say it's big.
-Okay. Look at it.
Okay. Uh, sir,
you are experiencing
a mental health crisis.
Step one,
these resources c Oh.
Oop, there's a paywall.
-You tried.
-Oh, my God.
[person 4] Uh
So what are the rules, huh?
We can just masturbate
at strangers now?
No one cares?
That's totally fine?
Issa. No, stop. Stop, no.
Issa. Issa.
-[person 3] Issa. Don't
No, no, No.
-[Billie] No, stop
-[Samir, person 4] Whoa!
-[person 3] Oh, my God.
Is this the world
you wanna live in, sir?
[person 4] Stop, stop.
-Is this what you want?
-Hey, babe,
I think he's into it.
-[Billie] Issa, Issa, stop.
-[people clamoring]
He's going faster.
He's going faster. Harder.
Stop, stop. Oh, my God.
-I must engage.
-You don't have to.
-You don't. There's no need.
-[group chattering]
-Why?
No one else is doing anything.
-[Billie] Stop! Issa!
You could've done something!
You're a nurse!
-[Billie] Issa!
-[Samir] Whoa!
Hey! Don't film.
What, are you crazy?
-No. Oh, my God.
-[sighs] I bet
you didn't expect me.
Please, she's doing this
for your daughters. I think.
-Oh. You wanna go faster?
Want it faster?
-She's gonna get arrested.
I can go faster! I've been
doing this since I was seven!
-[subway door closes]
-Was that bad? That was bad.
No, baby.
You did so good. So good.
Did he come though? If he came,
like, the fuck was I doing?
No. Issa, Issa, stop.
He did not come.
I looked into his eyes.
And he did not come.
Yeah. He was flaccid, baby.
I swear.
Oh, yeah. He definitely came.
It's on my shoe.
[Billie] Okay, there's no way
you know all of them.
[person 3]
I know them all, okay?
I memorized them?
-Ready?
-[Billie] Okay, go. [chuckles]
-Dave & Buster's?
-Yeah.
-Okay, um [stammers]
-No, come on,
I gotta go to work.
-You and Samir
in middle school?
-Yes!
Uh
Oh. The one where Samir looks
a little gay.
-Wait, which one?
-Uh
-Sailor hat?
-Yes!
-[person 3] Yes! Okay.
-Okay, bye, friends.
-Bye. Bye.
-Bye, Paul Baker.
Hello.
-Um, okay. Uh
-[door closes]
-[person 3] Oh
-[sighs]
-Please. Please!
Come on. Please. Samy.
-No, don't. Don't. No! No!
-[Issa] You're gonna cave,
just cave.
-[Samir] No! No.
We're not messing
with the dynamic.
-He's not moving in, Iss.
-He won't mess with
He'll add
-Guys.
-[both] Mm-hmm?
How amazing was hanging out
with Paul Baker this weekend?
-[person 3] Amazing.
It was great.
-Amazing. Life-changing.
-[Issa] Right?
-It was actually so much fun.
-It doesn't matter.
There's no room.
-Oh, he's gonna cave.
He'll cave.
Make the face, he'll cave.
There's nowhere to put him.
He's, like, this big.
Please.
-No.
-Make it the weird
little titty baby.
-He won't know
what to do with that.
-No. No weird babies.
-It's too early for titty baby.
-Please.
-[Samir] Don't. Stop.
-Daddy.
-Stop.
-[laughs] Wait, Samy,
please, please.
I love you, and I'd love
[whispers] Paul Baker.
-Mm-hmm?
-And if you love me,
you will let him
love me.
-Oh, my God. You were so close.
-[Billie] You were so close.
-[person 3]
You were right there.
-Lost it at the end there.
-[person 3]
You were right there.
-Lost it at the end there.
-[person 3] Yeah. Yeah.
-[phone beeps]
-[person 3] Yeah. Yeah.
-[phone beeps]
-Wait. Wait. Wait.
Kyle is trending?
-Kyle who?
-Kyle Haberman.
-What? Why?
-[Samir] He is?
-I was just talking to him
this weekend.
Did we know
he was harassed at work?
-No.
-Oh, my God.
[person 3] What?
"I was groped by my boss.
Now, I'm speaking out."
-[Issa] Oh, my God.
-[person 3] He looks
like he was molested.
-[giggling] Anton!
-It's not even
a recent picture of him.
Okay, well,
he looks like he saw it coming.
Wait, guys, this is so sad.
Should I reach out?
Wait, guys, this is so sad.
Should I reach out?
We were literally just talking.
We were literally just talking.
Okay, you guys,
I can feel us doing a thing,
so I just wanna
get ahead of it. Um
-Kyle sucks.
-Anton!
-[Billie] Anton!
-He orders, like, $20 drinks,
and then just, like,
never Venmos for them.
Yeah. He owes me, like, $300.
I know his parents
are rich too.
-[phone beeps]
-Kyle, comma, molested,
question mark?
And also, remember when he said
we live in the shit-taint
of Queens?
-Okay. But we do.
-Yeah, I know.
One hundred percent.
But it's our shit-taint.
Okay, but can we just give it,
like, five seconds?
I mean, this poor kid.
-[Samir] Mm-hmm.
-Set your timer.
-Sorry.
-[sighs]
Also how he always, like,
marks himself safe from
tsunamis and shit. [chuckles]
He He wasn't
even near water.
I can't believe he didn't
tell me this this weekend
when we were talking.
-Were you talking?
-Were you chatting?
-Did you talk?
-Be honest.
What were you doing?
-[Issa] Seriously, fuck you.
-No, Iss, come on.
You're a good friend.
-I know.
-Except, again,
you don't have to be.
We don't have
to all love the kid
just 'cause he was molested.
He's not Brendan Fraser.
-Oh, my. [chuckles]
-Oh, my God. That is
I'm sorry. I heard it. That
That was actually crazy.
I'm so sorry.
-My God.
-Safe from Nepal earthquake.
Look.
He's in Bushwick.
-[teller] Next.
-Hey. Um
So I have to pay this company,
uh, Peter's Heaters
to fix my parents' boiler.
'Cause they're traveling
and the hot water is just out.
And I'm-I'm, like,
the guy, so
Um
But they only
they only take check,
But they only
they only take check,
and I don't so much have check.
and I don't so much have check.
So, I came here, uh
to the bank and
You need
Now you please say something.
Social security number?
Um
You don't know your social?
No, I do.
It's just that my mom,
she she knows
the shit out of it. Yeah.
Fill this out. Bring it back.
Is Is this the right
Yep. Yep. Okay.
[Billie] Hey.
Uh, so they were all out
of chocolate chip,
so I got you carob.
-Oh.
-Yeah. I debated
not telling you.
How'd it go?
Oh, you know I always
thought the world was gonna
be waiting for me, and instead,
-everyone's annoyed
that I'm here.
-Mmm, no, that's hard.
-So, update.
Full profile in the Post.
-Oh, is this Kyle?
This is Kyle. $200,000 payout,
and, uh
Oh, Doja Cat reposted
that Kyle is the V of our G.
-Gross.
-No. Voice of our generation.
Oh. Gross.
[sighs]
This is crazy.
Yeah. And Okay.
-I wouldn't say this
to anybody else
-Oh, you're jealous.
-[whispers] I'm jealous.
-You're jealous.
-Okay. Obviously
-I know.
Obviously I'm not saying
that I want
to be molested at work.
You're not saying that.
But you're jealous of a victim.
I just can't believe
that someone we know is
big fucking deal already.
God. Came up behind him
in the cubicle.
What was this guy thinking?
Kyle's boss?
Honestly, probably wasn't.
No, seriously, we did
a whole story on it at work,
half the time men don't
even realize when they
cross a line sexually.
Half the time?
Yeah. No, it's fucked.
[chuckles]
Ugh
[huffs] Hey. You don't think
I've ever, like
What?
-Like, crossed the line
sexually?
-What? Samir, no.
[chuckles]
Obviously, not. I mean,
-when would you've crossed
the line?
-I don't know! You just said
-that men don't realize
half the time.
-Okay, stop!
So half the time,
I wouldn't have realized.
Do not spiral.
You're an actual baby angel.
And on the spectrum of men,
kind of a little bitch boy.
-[whispers] Okay
-No! I mean, it's a good thing.
-It's a good thing!
-Okay. It's a good thing.
Also, please, just focus
on fixing the hot water.
I swear, if I get ringworm
from the work shower,
I'm giving it to you.
Okay.
Oh, my
[♪upbeat music plays]
-[song ends]
-[person in distance] Hey!
Hey. Come here a sec. Yeah.
[Billie] Oh.
Hey.
Uh, do kids your age
give a shit about Al Gore?
Oh, um
Yeah I don't
I don't know if
See? She doesn't know
who that is.
-I do
-It's okay.
-Put the Kyle kid on for 8:30.
-Kyle Haberman?
Yeah. [sighs]
Yeah,
I actually know him. If
Do you?
We were actually
just talking last week.
See? All the kids love Kyle.
Get him in slot A. Yeah?
Thanks, Bobbie. Okay.
Close the door.
Billie.
Billie.
Billie, Bobbie. Like, why
doesn't anybody name their kid
Liz anymore? [chuckles]
-[laughing]
-[♪mariachi music
playing on radio]
Oh. Samy, this is so nice.
I'm really glad
that you reached out.
I know. Same.
Um
And hey. Um
I don't know if you heard
about this stuff with, like,
Kyle Haberman or whatever.
-That whistleblower kid?
-Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Don't you know him?
Yeah, I do.
It just, you know, had me
thinking a lot about, like,
my own relationships, and
You know, and I don't know
if you know this,
half the time, men don't
even realize when they
cross a line sexually.
-Whoa, really?
-Yeah.
So, I just wanted to do some
some reaching out and check
-and see
-Oh.
Samy, no. You never crossed
a line. No, you're good.
Okay. Right? That's
-You? You No, you're good.
-That's what I thought
for like
-You? You No, you're good.
-That's what I thought
for like
But, no, that's [sighs]
But, no, that's [sighs]
-Thank God. Yeah. Cheers then.
-[chuckles] Okay, cheers.
-Cheers. Cheers. Yeah.
-Cheers. Cheers to that.
-All right, wait, wait.
[chuckles]
-Hmm?
-Hmm.
-Wait, there was that one time.
-Remember fall break?
-What?
We slept together.
I was, like, way too drunk.
Like Like, like gone.
[chuckles] But no, no.
Nothing besides that.
-Besides that.
-[chuckles]
I mean, you did
sexually assault me. [chuckles]
[both chuckle]
-You should You should stop.
-Yeah, you should stop
doing that.
-[both chuckle]
-Ah.
[sizzling on pan]
Samir, you have to eat.
I'm serious.
Samir, you have to eat.
I'm serious.
Samir, we talked about it.
Samir, we talked about it.
Like, we all spoke about it,
and we do feel
like it's not cancelable.
Maybe I should just call her
and apologize again.
Samy, no.
Carly said she was fine.
So don't even worry.
We're not gonna move out.
You're not gonna move out
of my parents' house
where you live for free.
Okay. That's
Oh, my parents. How am I gonna
tell them about this?
-Oh, boo!
-[all] Boo!
Samy, leave your parents alone.
Let them fuck their way
through the national parks
in peace.
Yeah, I don't think
this really crosses, like,
the parent threshold, my man.
Yeah, exactly. Parents are
for murder and carpet stains.
Anything in between that is,
like, for a cool aunt.
Oh, yeah.
Do you have a cool aunt?
I don't know.
You wanna live with her?
-I don't know.
Does she have hot water?
-[chuckles]
-I don't know.
Does she have hot water?
-[chuckles]
I'm working on it.
I'm working on it.
Okay. Now I do have to go
and get ready for another day
-as my office's
resident youth expert.
-[Issa sighs]
Oh, my God.
Is that still happening?
Yeah. The other day
my boss asked me,
-"What is a JoJo Siwa?"
-I don't know
how you'd answer that.
-That's actually
a good question. Yeah.
-A really good question.
Oh. And yes, my boss did
get Kyle on the show.
And yes, I have decided
that I'm genuinely happy
for him.
Bills, if you wanna
get ahead at work,
you totally can, you know?
Like, now is the time.
You're kind of in the window.
-Oh, yeah. That's true.
-[Issa] Mmm.
-Wait, what window?
-[Anton] What?
Girl, the window.
You know, like the week
after a sex scandal,
-or like a race whoopsie
when everyone is
-Love that.
terrified of all
the young people
in their office?
Okay. So, I just
-So you use the window.
-Yeah.
-These people are, like,
in their 50s.
-They're so old.
-These people are, like,
in their 50s.
-They're so old.
Make them think
you could cancel them
on an app they don't use.
Make them think
you could cancel them
on an app they don't use.
-Yeah.
-[Paul] That's true.
My buddy did it
right after Kavanaugh.
Became the youngest partner
in his law firm.
-It works.
-[Anton] Mm-hmm.
-I don't know.
Isn't it sort of, like
-Fucked? Gross? Manipulative?
-I don't Yes. I mean, it is.
-Yeah. No, it's all
of those things, but
It's honestly up to you,
Billie.
But, in a week,
the window will close,
then everyone goes back
to not giving a shit.
So, I would just, like,
think about it.
-[Anton shushes] Hi. Kelly.
-[Issa] You know?
Oh.
Yeah, I'm gonna
be camera-off today.
Yeah, I'm in the office.
Yeah. There's just, um,
some construction
in my cubicle.
[trills]
Yeah. Oh, it's getting louder.
[both snicker]
-[crowd cheering]
-[speaker] You know
what's messed up?
After all I've been through,
this house of depravity
still stands tall.
And to that, I say,
"Knock it down!"
Knock it down! Knock it down!
Knock it down!
-Come on, say it.
-Knock it down.
-Anton. This is nice.
We are being nice.
-[chuckles]
-[Kyle continues, indistinct]
-I'm supporting you
supporting Kyle.
And I'm in support of us
getting lunch after.
Oh, yeah. Some of the victims
were saying they were gonna
get sushi after?
You met the victims?
-Are these people not victims?
-[crowd applauds]
-Oh, hey, Kyle! Hey! Kyle! Hi!
-Kyle, how are you?
-Anton, what's up? You guys!
-Kyle.
-Oh, my God.
It's so good to see you.
-So good to see you.
But where's the rest
of the commune, huh?
-Billie and Samir
finally decided to fuck?
-[both chuckle]
That is genius.
No, um, but she did
actually pop a pimple
on his ass last week.
-Oh, yeah.
-Which is, like, fifth base?
[chuckles]
-[chuckles] Okay.
-[Kyle] Dude.
-[chuckles]
-[Kyle] Yeah. Totally.
Um, Kyle, you were literally
so fucking good up there.
Your boss is def gonna
kill himself when this airs.
Congrats.
-Thanks.
-[Issa] Um
Also, what's happening next?
Are there more speakers, or
-Nah, it's one
and only right here.
-Oh. Totally makes sense.
Okay, well, if you need someone
to keep the crowd hot,
I am an experienced organizer,
hyphen, extrovert.
That would
actually be super dope, Iss,
but I don't think
they're gonna let you onstage
without one of these guys.
[chuckles]
-Oh.
-Wow. Okay, so that
just says "victim."
-Okay, so I don't have
one of those.
-It's all good.
-No, you don't have to. Okay.
-I do have
[giggles]
-Okay. And also
-Okay.
Hold this. I also have
-"Child of immigrants"?
-Your parents are from London.
-Shut up. And I also have
-Okay.
"Sex worker"?
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah. She reads horoscopes
on OnlyFans.
At the end I show hole.
[clicks tongue]
[giggles]
Um
Yeah, I mean,
I guess you could try and,
-like, roll the dice, see
-Oh, awesome!
-[Kyle] Do you need help?
-No!
New York City, whoo!
-Are we having fun? [chuckles]
-[crowd applauds]
Well, Kyle wasn't
when he was touched at work.
-[phone rings]
-[boss] Did you get
the new chyron?
-[employee] Yeah.
-No. The other one.
No, not that one.
-Not that one.
-[phone buzzes]
Not
-Yeah. Great. Did we put
-Randy, hi.
Um, I was just hoping
to chat real quick
if you had a sec.
Um, so obviously
I've [snorts]
I've been here
for a minute now, as you know.
-Uh-huh.
-Um, and I love running copies.
I feel like I'm engaging
with every aspect
of the company.
But, you know, I do
I just I feel like
I might be ready
for some more responsibility,
-if that makes sense. And
-[Randy] Shit, Jason?
The Kyle kid's
doing a fundraiser.
Get a crew together now,
please.
Just with everything
going on right now
in this climate,
I would just hope
that my company would
support me as a young person.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
[stammers] Really? I
[Randy] Yeah.
You know what? Let's do
a meeting. Yeah. [stammers]
Uh, Monday. We free Monday?
You free Monday?
-Monday,
we'll bring in Chuck
-[chuckles]
we'll-we'll bring
in, uh, Laura.
Laura is gonna wanna poach you
for some fieldwork.
I mean
[stammers] Uh, yes!
[stammering] Yeah, thank you.
Monday is [chuckles]
Let me check.
Monday is great. [chuckles]
Yes. Thank you.
Thank you.
Great work today, Billie.
Thanks. Um, okay.
Well, I will see you Monday.
Really? That's [sighs]
Oh, my God. That's great
to hear 'cause
-[sighs]
-[giggles] Samir.
Like, obviously not.
You were always,
always respectful, okay?
Because
this other girl said she was
too drunk one time. And I
I just I feel
like that's not me, you know?
Sorry, what are you
Wha-What are you doing?
I'm not, like, doing anything.
I just wanted to
What? Are you trying to, like,
coalition-build with me?
-Is that why I'm here?
-Is that
Is that what it sounds like?
You dragged me all the way
to Queens so I can say,
"Oh, don't worry, Samir.
It's totally okay what you did
to that poor girl."
[chuckling] Okay.
Um, you know what?
Maybe you should just give me
that other girl's number.
It might be better
if we spoke directly.
-I'll just call you a car
as well.
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna go.
"business as usual is not
gonna cut it anymore."
And it's all thanks
to this young man,
And it's all thanks
to this young man,
Kyle Matthew Haberman.
Kyle Matthew Haberman.
Yeah.
And then we'll go to Kyle,
Kyle's gonna talk
about the movement.
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, and then
You're Y-You're perfect,
Billie, yeah.
Almost thought you were him
for a second there.
Ah! [chuckles]
Yeah. Oof [imitates Kyle]
"My boss groped me."
What?
Kyle's boss groped him.
-That's right.
-I'm Kyle.
We are Kyle.
Ah.
Aw, look at her. She has
always wanted a clipboard.
Thank you for coming.
We thank you.
-Yeah. I understand.
-For the cause.
-For the cause.
-For the cause!
Yeah. My love. Issa.
Yeah. My love. Issa.
-Yeah.
-You're doing too much.
-Yeah.
-You're doing too much.
Okay. Just 'cause you don't
believe in causes
-No. I believe in causes!
-Name one.
Um Unfree Britney.
Oh, and, uh, Black Power.
-You know I can't
say anything to that.
-Yeah.
Either way, I
This is important to me.
So I need you to support me
in my cause.
And I do.
And Kyle's behind you.
Who? Oh.
-Kyle, hi! You look amazing.
-[Kyle] Hey.
Thanks. People just, like,
gift me shit now. It's wild.
-It's just, like, shows up
at my door now.
-Wow. Yeah, super cool.
But, anyway, I was looking
at the rally schedule,
I think
there's something so dope
-that we can do at Pier 6.
We can
-Yeah, no. I'm with that.
-Anton.
-Yeah.
Do you blow?
Oh. Uh. I mean, no. But, yeah.
-Yeah, I'll do that.
Yeah. Let's go.
-Fuck it.
Anton, what are you doing?
You haven't even made
a placard yet.
-Well, make me one.
-What did we just say
-about supporting the cause?
-I am. More than anyone.
I'm gonna go do coke
with the cause.
So, I do have to go.
-Anton
-But I love you.
-Hi.
-Mmm.
-Hi.
-Mmm.
Never surrender, girl!
Never surrender, girl!
-[sighs]
-Hey. How's it going?
Awful, actually, so
[sucks teeth]
-Wait, how did it go
with your ex?
-Not good. Uh, bad, actually.
-Samy
-Yes. Yes.
I'll never get a job
because I am a sex pariah.
-No. No.
-Yeah.
The boiler still doesn't work.
But it's good.
Paul Baker can have my room
'cause I will be in sex prison.
Paul Baker can have my room
'cause I will be in sex prison.
Samy, we would not
take your room. We would
make it into an art studio.
Samy, we would not
take your room. We would
make it into an art studio.
Also, do you have
a dollar bill? I think
I need to do coke for activism.
Yeah.
-Just be safe.
-Thanks.
Oh, my God. Wait,
so that means that the window,
like, actually worked!
It worked.
Meeting is Monday,
a promotion is imminent, and
Thank you.
I just have
this deep sense of, like
I'm tracing the outline
of who I am as a person.
I'm tracing the outline
of who I am as a person.
Oh, my God. Was that beautiful?
Oh, my God. Was that beautiful?
-Absolutely! Cheers, Billie.
-Cheers, Paul Baker.
So, wait,
when's the big meeting?
Oh. Monday because after that,
the window closes,
and that's literally
the only reason
why any of this is happening.
Wow.
Wait, even though
Monday's a holiday?
Paul Baker.
[chuckling]
Hey. What's up, man?
-[♪pop music playing, muffled]
-[chattering]
I feel like the three of us
can win The Amazing Race.
-[partygoer chuckling] What?
-[Anton] I do. I do.
-[partygoer chuckling] What?
-[Anton] I do. I do.
-Hey, girl!
-Hey, babe. Hey.
It's good to see you.
-Hey, girl!
-Hey, babe. Hey.
It's good to see you.
Samir?
-Hey. Issa's friend. Lea.
-Hey.
Yeah, yeah. Hi.
-Did you make a sign yet or
-No, uh, but I'm gonna.
I'm, like, just
-That's fucked up.
-No, I am literally about to
-I'm gonna make one
-Nah, I'm just messing.
I'm messing. It's
[giggles] Yeah.
No, but seriously,
Issa told me about your ex
and the whole [whistles]
-Oh. She told you about that?
-No.
No, no, no. I'm
I'm with you, okay?
I'm for the boys.
Listen to me,
this is why you can't
get finger-banged anymore
without signing
a fucking contract.
Oh Oh.
Okay. I g
-No, I guess
it is weird right now.
-So weird. It's really weird.
Huh.
Anyways.
No, no. That's all you.
Please. No.
Okay.
Because, you know,
we can also go together.
Um
Would I have to sign
a contract first or
Yeah.
My lawyer's already in there.
Come on.
-What sign are you?
-Sagittarius.
I don't know my sign,
but I feel
like I'm a Sagittarius.
Can you pass me
that wine down there?
[Randy] So, guys, we're just
gonna move down the line.
What does Kyle's movement
mean to you?
-Me?
-[Randy] Yeah.
We are Kyle.
I'm sorry?
We are We are Kyle.
Did you know Monday
was a holiday?
Do you have all of it?
[stammers]
-Oh. Randy! Hey.
-Hey, Billie. Great job today.
Oh. Thanks. Um, hey, so I just
realized our meeting Monday,
we're actually off work.
-So, I was thinking
what if we
-Oh
Right. You know what,
we'll do next week.
Or [chuckles] I'm around
right now, if you wanna
give Chuck and Laura a call.
-You know.
-Oh Actually Crap.
-Chuck's gone next week.
-Chuck's gone next week.
-We'll do the week after that.
-The week after that.
You know, um
Yeah. Oh [squeals]
No. Sochi.
Uh, Laura is in Sochi.
Yeah. It's not gonna work
next week. Um
How about February?
Feb's wide open.
Okay. Uh, oh, sure.
[chuckling] Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
As long as you still
give a shit by then.
Sorry?
No, I-I just mean, um,
you know, with everything
going on right now
in this climate, I just
I hope that you still
give a shit
about
women.
Excuse me?
Just [stammers]
You should remember
to be careful.
I think you need
to go home, Billie.
Yeah.
Don't come in Monday.
Do you mean Tuesday or
That too.
[Samir] I'm so
I'm so glad I met you tonight.
Oh, yeah.
It's so liberating
to meet a guy
who just doesn't give a shit.
-[giggles] Like, yeah?
-Yeah. I don't give a shit.
-Yeah.
-Okay. Spit in my mouth.
[panting]
-Spit Spit in your mouth?
-Fuck, yeah.
-[hocks]
-Come on.
-Just spit!
-I'm sorry. I'm trying.
-I wanna give you
what you want. Just
-Okay.
[hocks]
-Why are you going
[hocks] Just spit!
-I was
-I'm gonna show you, okay?
-Okay.
-[spits]
-Oh.
-Yeah. No, that's good.
-[panting]
-Thanks for showing me.
-Do you like that?
-Yeah.
-You like being washed?
Huh? [groans]
-You like that?
-[grunts]
-You like that? Right?
-Yeah.
[laughs] You're a bad boy.
You're a bad boy.
I'm a bad boy. No,
I'm a bad boy.
-Fuck me?
-What?
-Fuck me?
-What?
While I hold my face under.
While I hold my face under.
For drowning or
Yeah.
Is that a problem for you?
-If you drown,
is that a problem for you?
-[phone chimes]
Oh! When's the last time
you peed? [chuckles]
Sorry. I can't
I can't do this.
You're being be a little bitch,
aren't you?
Yeah, sorry.
This is
why I don't do fundraisers.
I love your friends.
-[chuckles]
-[♪pop music playing on radio]
[chuckles] Look who it is.
Ugh, you showered? Lucky.
-How'd it go with that girl?
-Good.
Well, no. Bad. Technically.
But she's cool.
Also, Carly's fine, I think.
See? I told you.
And on the spectrum of men,
I might just be
a little bitch boy.
Which is good, I think.
Okay, now I am gonna go shower,
because I did
bring conditioner.
-Love you, have fun.
-Wait, wait, wait. Don't.
I've got you.
[♪"Purple Hat"
playing, muffled]
[housemates
chattering, muffled]
Hey. So, I think
I lost my job t
[chattering continues, muffled]
-Hey, I What
What is happening?
-We stole Kyle's coke,
and now we're fixing
the boiler ourselves. We're
being our own Peter Heaters.
[sighs]
[sighs]
[on laptop] so, we're gonna
replace the boiler
with a 50 gallon
[on laptop] so, we're gonna
replace the boiler
with a 50 gallon
-[Issa] I got the tape.
-[Paul] Clockwise is right.
-That's now counterclock
-I have the tape. Guys, look.
-Billy.
-[Anton] Hi.
-[Issa] She's here.
-[Anton] Come, Billie, quick!
There's a box labeled
"Samir baby hats." You have
to pick one. Come on, pick one.
It's gonna be fun. Come on.
[Paul] This doesn't look
like that.
Why is it ticking?
Why am I ticking? Guys?
-[Samir] It's moving now.
-[Issa giggles]
-[Samir] Why is it ticking?
-[Paul] Lefty loosey.
-[Paul] Yeah. Lefty loosey.
-[Samir] Hold that. Hold it.
-[Paul] Yeah. Lefty loosey.
-[Samir] Hold that. Hold it.
Hold the flashlight, please.
Hold the flashlight, please.
Hold the flashlight, please.
-Okay, so it sounds
like it might explode.
-[Samir] I got it.
-Okay, so it sounds
like it might explode.
-[Samir] I got it.
Where can I help?
What can I do?
"if ticking lasts over
one minute total, there's risk
of immediate decap" Uh
-There's a paywall.
-[Billie] No.
There's always a paywall.
-Hey. Hey. Are you good?
-I'm good.
Are you good?
Because if you're not good,
then I'm not good.
-I'm good!
-[chuckling] Okay.
Look at these guys.
[chuckling]
You know what?
We're gonna be good.
Ugh!
Still not hot.
[♪"Purple Hat" playing]
♪People ♪♪
♪People ♪♪
♪People, people ♪♪
♪Dancing on the people
I've got ♪♪
♪I got people ♪♪
♪People ♪♪
♪People ♪♪
♪People ♪♪
♪Purple hat, cheetah print ♪♪
♪Dancing on the people
Rolled up at the after joint ♪♪
♪Dancing dancing
on the people ♪♪
♪People dancing on the people
I got people on the people ♪♪
♪People dancing
on the people ♪♪
♪With the people on the ♪♪
[♪song ends]