Blackpool (2004) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
(VIVA LAS VEGAS BY ELVIS PRESLEY) Bright light city gonna set my soul Gonna set my soul on fire Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn So get those stakes up higher There's a thousand pretty women waiting out there And they're all livin' devil may care And I'm just the devil with love to spare So Viva Las Vegas Viva Las Vegas How I wish that there were more Than the twenty-four hours in the day But even if there were forty more I wouldn't sleep a minute away Oh, there's blackjack and poker and the roulette wheel A fortune won and lost on every deal All you need is a strong heart and a nerve of steel So Viva Las Vegas Viva Las Vegas Viva Las Vegas with your neon flashin' And your one armbandits crashin' All those hopes down the drain Viva Las Vegas turnin' day into night-time Turning night into daytime If you see it once you'll never be the same again I'm gonna keep on the run I'm gonna have me some fun If it costs me my very last dime If I wind up broke well I'll always remember that I had a swingin' time I'm gonna give it everything I've got Lady Luck please let the dice stay hot Let me shoot a seven with every shot Viva Las Vegas Viva Las Vegas Viva Viva Las Vegas (CROWD CHEERING) Whey-whoo! The gaming industry creates gambling addicts misery and family break-up.
That's what they say, eh? The do-gooders, the lentil jockeys outside.
Oh, yes.
They look like they really know how to have a good time, don't they? They look like an advert for Cancer Research! What do they want you to do with your money? Put it in a bank? A pension plan? Now, that's just gambling without the fun.
An amusement arcade is the people's stock exchange.
(CROWD CHEERING) Except we give you the chance to win your money back.
The big boys better start looking over their shoulders 'cause Ripley Holden is where he belongs.
On the Promenade! But, ladies and gentlemen, and fellow investors it doesn't stop here.
Oh, no.
It's gold rush time in Blackpool and guess who's shitting gold nuggets? (CROWD LAUGHING) This time, next year, you'll all be back for the opening of the Ripley Holden Casino Hotel.
(CROWD CHEERING) I declare this arcade open.
Let's live the dream.
All right, lads? Glad you could make it.
- Congratulations.
- Nice one.
Well, get playing.
I've put 500 notes behind the counter.
Joker Poker, Beaver Las Vegas, Cash 'n Chips, Two in the Bush.
I had no idea the opening would be so Beckhamesque.
Well, pass the fizz and praise venture capital.
I don't think the investment plan's quite as simple as you're making out.
- Come here.
- Come off it, Ripley, stop messing about.
I just wanted to see if I look like a failure through your glasses.
I'm just saying, that's all.
I love what you're doing, but the Inland Revenue own a good chunk of this.
I never got my bins emptied last week.
Did I phone them up for a refund? Barry, set the one-arms to 90%.
I want to hear cash falling faster than your wife's pants on a Saturday night.
Hello, love.
Just a bit of banter, you know.
Barry's a bit deaf, anyway.
And he's not married, so no real offence.
I've reserved the dance stage just for you.
I'm not showing myself up on that.
Too good for a college girl, are we? What about Weakest Link? Millionaire? - Listen, Dad, I've got to go.
- What? I'm meeting someone.
Is it someone I might approve of this time? I doubt it.
You can't just walk out.
This is our big night.
Danny.
Your sister's too bright to hang around with the likes of us.
She's a student now.
Here, go on.
- You go and have a good time.
- I will.
- Not bad for a thick kid, eh? - Not bad at all.
You know anything about this new boyfriend of hers? I didn't know she had a new boyfriend.
He's got to be an improvement on that biker, hasn't he? - Special needs meets Special Brew.
- Don't exaggerate.
Anyway, she's got to make her own mistakes.
You mean she hasn't finished making them yet? Thank you so much for coming.
We really appreciate it.
Oh, hey.
Space Invader.
Me and this baby go way back.
- Refill key.
- What? Those lads there, they're using a refill key.
Come here.
- I just hope all this is tax-deductible.
- I love this man.
He never relaxes.
I took him to a lap dancing club, he kept asking the girls for receipts.
(ALL LAUGHING HEARTILY) Receipts.
(YOU CAN GET IT IF YOU REALLY WAN BY JIMMY CLIFF) You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want But you must try, try and try Try and try You'll succeed at last Persecution you must fear Win or lose you've got to get your share Got your mind set on a dream You can get it though hard it may seem now You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want But you must try, try and try Try and try You'll succeed at last I know it Listen Rome was not built in a day Opposition will come your way But the harder the battle you see It's the sweeter the victory, now You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want But you must try, try and try Try and try You'll succeed at last (CROWD CHEERING) You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want Oh, bloody hell, come on, Chantelle, party's over.
When I lock the door, that means we're shut.
Come on, sling your hook.
You sure you've got the square footage for a casino hotel? I have once I take out the back wall and knock down my flats behind here.
What about planning permission? My mate from the Enterprise Committee left 10 minutes ago with a pocketful of change and a hard-on.
Hey, Hallworth, you missed a great time.
I can have a good time without mindlessly pumping money in a machine.
I'm sure you can.
Every night when you're mindlessly pumping your right hand.
"How hard it will be for the rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.
" It's all in the Bible.
"To all those that have, more will be given "and they shall have an abundance.
" Read the small print, Hallworth.
You didn't think I could speak Bible, did you? Where'd you learn that stuff? Oh, I used to know a man who thought he were God.
Busy shift? That caller Dave was on again, asking if we'd help with the decorating.
Really? When I talked to him, he hadn't settled on a wallpaper.
Well, he's going with Anaglypta.
(CHUCKLES) A teenager with a drug problem, a lady looking after her sick dad This widow, Joan in her fifties, her husband died a few months back in a car crash.
And she said the one thing that kept her going was that he told her he loved her every day.
Every day.
Can you imagine that? - Was she very distraught? - She was fine.
I was in floods of tears.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) Hello, Samaritans, can I help you? (LESSONS IN LOVE BY LEVEL 42) Hey, didn't you give me a blow job round the back last week? - In your dreams.
- Sorry, coming through.
Come to think of it, maybe it was your mother.
Get some manners, gay boy! You really are dead set on ruining my evening, aren't you, blondie? - Lucky me.
- Piss off and spend your winnings.
The last money you get out of my arcade, sunshine.
Go on.
- Piss off! - Skip away like a good little girl.
What? Any time.
Any time! (PEOPLE CHATTERING) Fuck off! (COME ON EILEEN BY DEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNERS) We'd have pulled there if you'd settled for the ugly one.
Why is it always me that has to jump on the grenade? - Wipe your feet.
- Listen to Trust House Forte here.
(MEN LAUGHING) You've done a great job here, Terry.
No more cleaning up stag night puke for me.
I've gone for the classier markets.
- The high-rollers and the gays.
- Very sensible.
Well, it'll take more than a fancy bathroom in your basement to turn this place into Caesar's Palace.
He's maximising his space.
You could learn something from this man.
Yeah, it all looks a bit pricey to me.
What people want is a full English breakfast and a bathroom experience that they'll never forget.
They'll keep coming back for years.
Dual-headed mixer taps with built-in water softener and the real joy the toilet is concealed by a mock-Japanese sliding screen.
Fully functional, classy.
All right, Terry, it's only a bathroom, I don't want to shag it.
(DOORBELL RINGS) - That'll be the takeaway.
- Great, I'm starving.
- What did you order? Chinese or Italian? - A bit of everything.
All right, girls.
Which one of you is going to be the lucky one tonight? (BLUESY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) Hey, mate.
Drop me here.
Just here.
Thank you, mate.
Yes! - What you doing at college today, love? - You know, stuff.
No, I don't know.
Would you care to tell me? Why don't you go first? I guess, hairdressers in the morning, followed by a shift at the Oxfam shop.
- Or is it Italian for beginners today? - Don't exaggerate.
No, go on, tell me, because I can't remember which hobby it is right now.
I'm doing a shift at Samaritans and it's not a hobby.
(NATALIE) You look like shit.
Yes, well, I've been up all night.
What's your excuse? Sarcasm before 8:00.
Is that a record? It was a lovely do, Dad.
I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer.
That's all right, sweetheart.
I just hope he was worth it.
There you go, love.
- I know that look.
What's he like? - What's that supposed to mean? Well, you know.
Is he like your other boyfriends or is he human? And you wonder why I never bring anyone home? What is he, eh? One of the other students? Against global capitalism right up until he gets his first tax demand? - No, he's not another student.
- Bring him home.
I'd like to meet him.
- Do you mean that? - Yes, of course I mean it.
He's important to you, so he's important to me and your mother.
- We'd love to meet him.
- And you won't scowl at him? Don't go asking for miracles.
Everyone outside this house thinks I'm a very friendly guy.
Yes, that's only because you're making them their fortunes.
Here, is that a black eye or are you wearing eyeliner these days? - Ripley.
- I'm just knackered.
There you are, you see, he doesn't bend over, he's just hung over.
I've got to go.
- Nice one, Ripley.
- What? Dad can't help being prehistoric.
It's part of his charm.
Thank you.
(RIPLEY) See the guy with the pencil moustache? That's your Pythagoras.
He has a science to his play.
I'd do her, wouldn't you? Well, if I'd had a drink, maybe.
Yeah, look at him.
Memorises the reels, counts the nudges, listens to the drop of the coin to see if the machine's backing or not.
If the machine's dropping coins down the back, it means it's full and - if it's full, it's more likely to pay out.
- Is that true? No, not really.
But that's the market economy, isn't it? If we admitted it were all down to luck, we'd pay bankers the same as binmen.
And like, if she had the questions, but you got the answer right then you got to say what she did next.
You've really thought this through, haven't you? The Inland Revenue aren't gonna wait for last year's tax bill.
They're gonna make a claim against See the skinny guy behind Pythagoras.
That's the Ghost.
Every arcade has one.
They hover on the mug's shoulder, watching how much money he puts in.
Then they step in for the kill when he wanders off.
See him? The Priest.
He bases his game on prayer and lucky coins.
And the lard addict on the Multiplay, your nervous wreck.
He can't keep still for noticing every other machine seems to be paying out.
He never commits, so he never wins.
- Yeah, fascinating as this is - I know my business.
You know yours.
That's how we make each other rich.
You're just gonna have to use some of the investment capital - we've put to one side for the expansion.
- Isn't that our money? Hey, Terry.
Leave the financial stuff to those that know.
Your investment's safe with this fellow.
He's tight as a witch's chuff.
If you pay your tax with our investment, how will the expansion ever start? All right, dickless, phase one starts here.
- Since when? - Since now.
(RIPLEY) I had all this lined up for tomorrow but you lot, you have to open your presents early, don't you? Not exactly up to your standards, Terry, I know.
Bloody hell, couldn't you run to a couple of air fresheners? Well, why bother when I'm pulling it down anyway.
- Lf it doesn't fall down first.
- I still don't see what this proves.
I think you're forgetting a little word called trust.
Come on, make yourself useful, now you're here.
Who are we? The bloody repo men? I can't involve myself in this sort of thing.
I'm a pillar of the community.
You wanted me to get a move on, didn't you? So come on, let's get started.
I just think it's a bit off you paying your private tax bill with company money.
I've led you two to a pot of gold and all you can do is piss in it.
He's not wrong.
We're shareholders.
- We should have a say in how it's spent.
- So you want the scheme to go tits up because I've got a pain in the cash flow? Fine.
- No, obviously, we don't want that.
- Come on, then.
I'll go and arrange for the transfer of funds to your personal account.
You won't be moaning when you've got "No Vacancies" up all the year round.
Then it will be, "Thank you, Ripley Holden "for dragging Blackpool out of the Dark Ages.
" I'm driving the economic recovery round here, so cut me some slack, would you? - What's going on? - You've been evicted.
What for? Drug taking, noise, being ugly without a licence.
Who knows? The law's supposed to be a mystery.
That's why judges wear wigs.
You know, Vegas gets 30 million visitors a year.
The punters piss in paper cups by the machines because they're terrified of missing the jackpot.
That's the type of customer commitment I'm after.
What are you doing? Could you put some beer in the fridge? He might be a beer man.
Who might be? Shyanne's new boyfriend.
She's bringing him over tonight.
Since when? You said you wanted to meet him and she took you at your word.
When are you going to bring a girl home? Give me something to look at.
Going anywhere nice tonight, love? Hey, answer your mother's question.
I don't know.
Maybe Romeo's.
Romeo's? Weren't you there last night? Why does it always have to be clubs? I was in Romeo's last night.
I didn't see you there.
It's a big club.
You and the lads were in Romeo's? Isn't there an age limit? I've got to go.
I said I'd be somewhere.
What makes that lad tick? He's just going through a sensitive stage.
Oh, right, and there was me thinking he was a mardy arse.
What? Your face.
(RIPLEY SIGHS) If this one's got tattoos, he can keep walking.
He won't have tattoos.
She said he was more mature than the others.
Yeah, well, I live in hope.
(DOOR OPENS) Mum.
Dad.
This is Steve.
Hi.
So what do you do for a living, Steve? I work in the theatre.
- Would we have seen you in anything? - I doubt it.
I'm the manager.
- Which theatre's that, then? - The Theatre Royal.
Never been there.
Now if you'd said Legends there's a bloke down there the absolute image of Shakin' Stevens.
Really, and who's he supposed to be? (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Well, The Royal.
That must be quite a big responsibility.
Is that where The Krankies did panto this year? I've not been there that long.
I'm planning big changes.
Yeah, he's put in for lottery funding.
You'd better get in line behind all those lesbian refugees.
- Dad.
- No, I believe in people paying their way.
I organise charity events myself, but I make sure the money goes to bona fide handicapped.
Let's face it.
These days you have a nosebleed and you get a disabled parking space.
So how did you get into something like that, Steve? I've always loved the theatre but I knew I couldn't act, so this is the next best thing.
Well, my tip to you is, give people what they want and they'll come.
That rules out my play about lesbian refugees, then.
(STEVE AND SHYANNE CHUCKLE) That's funny, Steve.
Maybe you should have been on the stage after all.
Actually, we've got to go.
Yeah, well, already? Yeah.
Well, we've got that thing, haven't we, Steve? Yes, yes.
- Nice to meet you.
- And you.
- Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.
Is she doing this to punish us? Is that what she's up to? Maybe she likes him.
Has that occurred to you? That's what all child molesters say.
Look, I don't like it any more than you do, but Shyanne is nearly 20.
Exactly.
And he's my age.
I can't believe you're taking this so calmly.
If this wasn't your daughter, you'd be patting him on the back.
So I'm a hypocrite.
Is there a law against that, too? You keep ranting and raving and you'll make it seem rebellious and sexy.
What, so we just do nothing? I don't want a repeat of the motorbike incident.
Yeah, okay.
- Okay, you're probably right.
- Yeah, well, I usually am.
What? - Nothing.
- What is it? - I think I drank a bit too much last night.
- Do you want to talk about it? Do I look like Richard Madeley? No, come on.
(SHE'S NOT YOU BY ELVIS PRESLEY) Her hair is soft and her eyes are oh so blue She's all the things a girl should be But she's not you She knows just how to make me laugh when I feel blue She's everything a man could want But she's not you And when we're dancing It almost feels the same I've got to stop myself from whispering your name She even kisses me like you used to do And it's just breaking my heart 'cause she's not you And it's just breaking my heart 'cause she's not you (NATALIE SIGHS) (BOTH PANTING) (FAST-PACED INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) Ripley.
Hello.
What are you doing here? I didn't hear you come in.
And you never will.
The old kung fu shuffle.
I see you've got Tony Vialli, the world's greatest accordion player coming next month.
Yeah, we do Golden Variety for the pensioners mid-week.
But like I say, it's my intention to shake things up a bit.
Listen to Andrew Lloyd Webber here.
I realise it might sound funny to you.
If you weren't going out with my daughter, it might sound funny.
But there's something about the thought of you near her that makes me lose my sense of humour.
Shyanne's a wonderful woman.
She's turned my life around.
Don't use my daughter to make you feel better about yourself.
- I don't think that's how Shyanne sees it.
- Steve.
I'm a man of the world.
I know it's nice to feel flesh with a bit of spring in it but society has taboos for a reason.
And that reason is so saggy-arsed old burn-outs like you don't get their hands on a wet dream like my daughter.
I know this must be hard to accept.
What I find hard to accept is you sit pretending you don't know who I am.
- I don't know you.
- South Shore Secondary Modern.
1970-77, right? Yeah.
You were there, too? We were at the same school? Now you're poking my daughter.
I'm trying not to break a rib laughing at the coincidence.
- I don't remember you.
- I've changed.
I think I'd remember a name like Ripley Holden.
I wasn't Ripley Holden then.
- Who were you? - Someone else.
Have you got a pen? Yeah.
(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) Now there's a name you might remember.
What you should know is that Ripley Holden is a ton more messed up than this boy.
Where've you been? I've been standing here since 9:30 with a burning ulcer.
All right.
Give me some room, would you, Chantelle? (BABY CRYING) Ruth, you need a man.
A good seeing-to will do you more good than liver salts.
Oh, I thought I set this last night.
You can't buy a bastard thing in this country.
Mr Holden? That's right.
Detective Inspector Peter Carlisle, North Lakes Constabulary.
That boyish looking creature is D.
C.
Blythe.
I just can't get my head round this.
Why is this happening to me? Why now? It's a full-blown mystery, sir.
That's why I'm here.
Do I know you at all? You one of Allbright's lot? No, I'm not local.
They called me in because they're overstretched.
Sort of like an emergency plumber, but less well paid.
So, you found the body? I open the door, go over to the alarm, start putting in the code then I notice it's not on, and then, there he is, in all his glory.
- Do you recognise him? - Never seen him before in my life.
- Do you want to take another look? - Has anybody got a Rennie on them? I have a very nervous tummy and this has set it off.
Funnily enough.
Somewhere.
I never leave home without antacids.
Keep them.
I'm taking Kaolin and Morphine on a trial basis.
No, I definitely don't know him.
Why would anybody do this? I just I locked up last night and I opened up this morning.
So how did he get in here? We're filing it as a suspicious death for now, just to keep the paperwork in order.
Suspicious? It's miraculous.
He got through a locked door, tripped the alarm, then killed himself.
What makes you think he killed himself? I don't.
I was making a joke.
Freud would say that your jokes revealed a truth buried in your subconscious.
Oh, what do you know? A copper who's read a book.
Well, if I'd read two books, maybe I'd run an amusement arcade.
Well, I wouldn't know about that.
I run a family entertainment centre.
And I'm a crime-citizen interface consultant.
Political correctness strikes again.
You know what? I get Chinky lads down here all the time and they tell me kung fu jokes.
We'll always find new insults.
Prejudice is very inventive like that.
That's right.
You know what he's done, don't you? He's hid behind the dance stage while I'm locking up, tried to rob the slots, got himself electrocuted.
- Thanks for sorting that out for us.
- He looked the type, didn't he? You know, hair like that.
I'll do everything I can to get you open again as soon as possible.
- What, you're closing me down? - Just till forensics are happy.
No, I know it's a tragic loss and everything but I've got the biggest deal of my life riding on this arcade.
You can read about it in here.
Thanks.
I think I know where you're coming from.
Scruffy bastard.
So, what's the arcade chap like? - A prick.
- A guilty prick? A prick has no conscience.
Didn't your father tell you anything? His story seems a little unlikely.
Acquire an ID on the body, go through the CCTV from the pubs and clubs talk to witnesses.
The gruelling but necessary slog that makes our police force enviable.
- What are you going to do? - I'll start with Ripley's wife.
I'm good with wives.
A dead man? Just there on the floor? Dead as Southport he was.
Six feet from the kiddies rides.
How sick is that? That is awful.
Who was he? I don't know.
Neither do the police.
Some deadbeat or other.
It'd be a deadbeat.
That's right.
- I've had to close the arcade.
- How long for? So what did they think? The coppers.
They got any ideas? Have they heck! They'll just tit around for a few days and file it away.
Got to look like they're earning the tax payers' shilling, haven't they? Shyanne.
(SHYANNE SOBBING) Love? He's finished with me by text.
How cheap is that? So no explanation or anything? Just said it wasn't working for him.
He was sorry.
That was it.
Oh, cheap bastard, eh? I don't know what you're getting angry about.
I could tell you didn't like him.
I'll be straight.
You know, I did have a few problems about the age difference but only because I want what's best for you.
Well, he is.
I love him, Dad.
And don't you start telling me I'll get over it.
Look at me.
Hey, look at me.
When I was your age, I was the loneliest bastard on this bastard planet.
And the worst thing was people telling me it was going to get better But for what it's worth, you're a beautiful, intelligent young woman.
And the man you're gonna spend the rest of your life with is out there now, somewhere.
You've not even met him yet.
Isn't that something to get excited about? I suppose.
Steve's a bigger prick than I thought he was to finish with you.
- You were doing well till that last bit.
- Come here.
You don't think Mum warned him off or anything, do you? No.
Your mum's a bit of a hothead, but she'd never do anything like that.
So that's the last we'll be seeing of Steve, I suppose.
Broke the poor girl's heart.
- Quite a coincidence though, isn't it? - What's that? You meet him, you don't like him, and the next day he finishes with Shyanne.
Yeah, that's why it's called coincidence, I suppose.
I didn't know you believed in coincidence.
I run an amusement arcade.
Of course, I believe in coincidence.
How else could I look the punter in the eye? Yeah, well, maybe we'll leave that one for another day.
Are you feeling horny at all? I love it when you whisper sweet nothings.
Is that a yes or a no? Well, a little more effort might be nice.
You know, something a bit romantic.
- Do you want to talk about it? - Piss off, Ripley.
Now who's being romantic? (SLOT MACHINES HUMMING) (SLOT MACHINES BEEPING) (ELECTRONIC VOICE) Whole lotta shakin'goin' on.
Oh, boy! (BLYTHE) Ripley Holden used to own three arcades off Promenade but he sold them all 6 months ago to bid for this Promenade site when it came up.
- He's got a lot riding on it.
- He's a great salesman.
Says who? It's what I've been getting from everybody I've spoken to.
He believes in family, money and Blackpool.
Not always in that order.
What about the family? What did you get on them? Danny, the son, goes to a private school but the local police think he might be dabbling in soft drugs.
Well, who didn't at his age? The daughter, Shyanne, goes to college locally.
And Natalie Holden is the perfect trophy wife.
Combines public appearances with dedicated housewife and charity work.
And she scrubs up nicely by all accounts.
- I wouldn't know.
- I'll report back to you once I've met her.
The question is, what's she doing with Ripley Holden? Oh, Blythe, one day you'll fall in love and you'll find out that the heart is a complicated and capricious organ.
Right.
Back to the arcade then, is it? Yeah.
For me, I'm gonna get a list of key holders off Ripley Holden.
What, on your own? Ripley and I already have a breathless repartee.
I wouldn't want you coming between us.
There's your problem.
Great.
Romanian.
Went on holiday there once.
Cigarettes and coffee.
That's the only currency they believe in.
It's some sort of foreign coin.
Yes, thank you, Hugh Scully! Inspector Carlisle.
- Have you come to give me my arcade? - No, not quite.
I was wondering if you could give me a list of anybody who has access to keys to this place.
Hang on a minute.
You don't think my staff have anything to do with this, do you? Have you checked whether he was electrocuted yet? We did.
And he wasn't.
The early signs are that he'd been dead for a day or so before you found him.
So he were dumped here? Well, you see, I attract a lot of jealousy.
Because we don't like success in this country, do we? So I'd start with the anti-gambling mob and the other arcade owners.
But not my staff.
No way.
They love working here.
They're like family.
In a good way or a Fred West way? The Bar X.
A design classic.
You know, graphics, fun themes.
High-low rollers can come and go but this beauty Nothing hidden.
That's right.
And a simpleton could enjoy it.
Clearly.
- Do you want a go? - I'm busy.
Go on.
Have a go.
On me.
And if I were you, I'd try that machine two along.
Who knows? You might have a bit of beginner's luck.
The list of the key holders? No point.
You won't be working on this much longer.
Why? Are you ready to confess already? Does the name Jim Allbright mean anything to you? No.
Why, should it? See, what you're not getting is I'm somebody around here.
Which makes me, what? Nobody? (SCOFFS) Don't flatter yourself, cock, you're not even that.
Ruth, we'll be open tomorrow.
So get Maureen to set the cafe up and you have a bath tonight.
See you later.
It's not as easy as you think, Ripley.
It's complicated.
What's complicated? You're the big cheese.
Give him the red card.
He's from outside the town.
He's been sent across from Kendal.
It's his case now.
So he's not under my jurisdiction.
Which leaves you as what? Deputy Chief Inspector of Donkey Shit? What is it he's done to upset you exactly? He thinks me and my staff have got something to do with that lad's death.
You might not care about that but you should care that he's shut the arcade and he's keeping it shut.
Which means nobody makes any money.
Not me.
Not you.
Not anybody.
Look, this Carlisle bloke is just a shit copper with an ego problem.
It's the same with anybody we bring in for the overflow cases.
He'll have only ever done small town crime so he'll be excited for a few days.
You won't have to put up with him for too long.
Is that the best you can do? All right.
I'll have a word.
Mark his card.
I'm touched our friendship means so much to you.
Don't be like that.
And I want that sunbed back.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING) (SLOW JAZZY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) (DOORBELL BUZZES) Hi.
Can I help you? I think I'm beyond help.
I'm sorry, I thought you rang the bell.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
But I'm not quite sure why.
I just saw the door and the sign.
- Just had to ring the bell.
- Exactly.
Yeah, I played a lot of knock and run as a child.
Sometimes I regress.
I see.
Okay.
Well, I've got phones to answer, so So, do you work here, then? I'm a volunteer, yeah.
And you'll just talk to anyone who comes in off the street? Yeah.
That's the general idea.
Even me? Even you, yeah.
Listen, do you want to come inside and we can talk about what's troubling you? What makes you think anything's troubling me? Well, you don't seem to be able to walk away.
If you did want to talk about something, you might at least want to come inside.
Are you depressed? Erm, not yet, but I've only been here a couple of days.
I have a question.
I can't work out why anyone would do this.
- Why do you say that? - So you're not going to answer me, then? - We're not here to talk about me.
- No, but I'd like to.
Why? There you go again.
Evasive.
You're very good at that, aren't you? Why are you trying to trick me into talking about myself all the time? Come on, just tell me why you do this and then I'll open up.
- I'm nosy.
- You're very fortunate.
Not everyone can turn their vices into charitable works.
I hadn't really seen it like that before.
Would you like to go out for a drink with me? It's not possible.
It's not what I'm here for.
But if I was to bump into you in the street and ask you out then what would you say? I'd say "Thank you very much - "but I'm married.
" - But not happily.
- Because you're not happy, are you? - That's none of your business.
And that's why you do this because if you listen to people who are unhappier than you, it makes the pain seem that bit easier, doesn't it? Doesn't it occur to you that there might be somebody who wants to talk to me - who really does need my time? - How do you know that isn't me? Well, I hope you got what you came for.
What? You're just not what I'd imagined.
(DOOR CLOSES) Can I help you? Peter Carlisle? Deputy Chief Inspector Jim Allbright.
What's this doing up? He's our main suspect.
You're coming at this a bit sideways, aren't you, son? - I thought he found the body.
- He did.
And it turns out the victim died on the night the arcade had its opening party.
So that rules him in, not out.
You should have come to me first.
I was at the party.
Ripley was with me all night.
Of course.
You're Ripley Holden's friend.
I thought that name rang a bell.
That's right.
So what were you doing on the night in question, as the cliche goes? We were just out and about, you know.
- I'm going to need more than that.
- It was a lad's night out.
Am I to understand you were pursuing romantic liaisons with members of the opposite sex, sir? Nothing hardcore.
Just a bit of fun.
You wouldn't find a more devoted father than Ripley Holden.
Devoted to what, exactly? I hope you're not trying to make a name for yourself, son.
Thanks for the alibi, Jim.
Holden seems to have borrowed money from every businessman in town to do the arcade up.
It's funny, he doesn't strike me as the trustworthy type.
Come on, let's go and play the slots.
What for? I trust you aren't questioning my methodology, Blythe? - I wasn't aware you had a methodology.
- You stay there, then.
Would you look at that? Nudge? Hi-Lo? Take Feature? Am I supposed to be this confused? If you save your nudges, you can get up one of the trails.
Then you get into the feature tower.
It's like a foreign language.
You're that copper, aren't you? That's right.
You're Danny Holden, aren't you? There.
Nudge now.
Middle reel.
There.
That's great.
I don't have a clue how I did it but that's great.
Mate of mine grew up in Blackpool.
This was years ago now.
Said he hated being a local.
- You know why? - Why? Because if it wasn't pissed-up Geordie week, it was pissed-up Glasgow week.
And if it wasn't Mancs, it was the Scousers.
And they all wanted to do one thing.
Beat up the locals.
- Nothing changes.
- Yeah, I'll bet.
So, did you see this man in any fights the other night? No.
Are you sure? Because we've got you and him on CCTV going into Romeo's within ten minutes of each other.
I didn't see him there.
I never saw him after he left this place.
He was here? At the arcade opening night? Are you sure? Of course I'm sure.
You could hardly miss hair like that, could you? Okay, Braveheart.
What do you think you're doing? I'm just trying to ascertain where science ends and luck begins.
You're talking to my son.
He's a minor.
You don't talk to my son without me being there, understand? Okay.
I'll just collect my winnings.
Mr Holden, just one question and I'll be gone.
- What do you want to know? - What's an AWP? Amusement with Prizes.
Like that machine you've just been playing.
I see.
Amusement with Prizes.
Sounds a bit like life itself, doesn't it? And you are absolutely sure you didn't see him here at your opening night party? Absolutely.
You know why? Because he wasn't here that night.
Now, are you sure of your way out? (THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKING BY NANCY SINATRA) You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin' And you keep losin' when you oughta not bet You keep samin' when you oughta be a'changin' Now, what's right is right but you ain't been right yet These boots are made for walking and that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin' And you keep thinkin' that you'll never get burnt I just found me a brand-new box of matches, yeah And what he knows you ain't had time to learn These boots are made for walking and that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you Are you ready, boots Start walking Look.
The prick left two features on hold.
And he's supposed to be the smart one.
(SLOT MACHINE BEEPING) Come on.
That's what they say, eh? The do-gooders, the lentil jockeys outside.
Oh, yes.
They look like they really know how to have a good time, don't they? They look like an advert for Cancer Research! What do they want you to do with your money? Put it in a bank? A pension plan? Now, that's just gambling without the fun.
An amusement arcade is the people's stock exchange.
(CROWD CHEERING) Except we give you the chance to win your money back.
The big boys better start looking over their shoulders 'cause Ripley Holden is where he belongs.
On the Promenade! But, ladies and gentlemen, and fellow investors it doesn't stop here.
Oh, no.
It's gold rush time in Blackpool and guess who's shitting gold nuggets? (CROWD LAUGHING) This time, next year, you'll all be back for the opening of the Ripley Holden Casino Hotel.
(CROWD CHEERING) I declare this arcade open.
Let's live the dream.
All right, lads? Glad you could make it.
- Congratulations.
- Nice one.
Well, get playing.
I've put 500 notes behind the counter.
Joker Poker, Beaver Las Vegas, Cash 'n Chips, Two in the Bush.
I had no idea the opening would be so Beckhamesque.
Well, pass the fizz and praise venture capital.
I don't think the investment plan's quite as simple as you're making out.
- Come here.
- Come off it, Ripley, stop messing about.
I just wanted to see if I look like a failure through your glasses.
I'm just saying, that's all.
I love what you're doing, but the Inland Revenue own a good chunk of this.
I never got my bins emptied last week.
Did I phone them up for a refund? Barry, set the one-arms to 90%.
I want to hear cash falling faster than your wife's pants on a Saturday night.
Hello, love.
Just a bit of banter, you know.
Barry's a bit deaf, anyway.
And he's not married, so no real offence.
I've reserved the dance stage just for you.
I'm not showing myself up on that.
Too good for a college girl, are we? What about Weakest Link? Millionaire? - Listen, Dad, I've got to go.
- What? I'm meeting someone.
Is it someone I might approve of this time? I doubt it.
You can't just walk out.
This is our big night.
Danny.
Your sister's too bright to hang around with the likes of us.
She's a student now.
Here, go on.
- You go and have a good time.
- I will.
- Not bad for a thick kid, eh? - Not bad at all.
You know anything about this new boyfriend of hers? I didn't know she had a new boyfriend.
He's got to be an improvement on that biker, hasn't he? - Special needs meets Special Brew.
- Don't exaggerate.
Anyway, she's got to make her own mistakes.
You mean she hasn't finished making them yet? Thank you so much for coming.
We really appreciate it.
Oh, hey.
Space Invader.
Me and this baby go way back.
- Refill key.
- What? Those lads there, they're using a refill key.
Come here.
- I just hope all this is tax-deductible.
- I love this man.
He never relaxes.
I took him to a lap dancing club, he kept asking the girls for receipts.
(ALL LAUGHING HEARTILY) Receipts.
(YOU CAN GET IT IF YOU REALLY WAN BY JIMMY CLIFF) You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want But you must try, try and try Try and try You'll succeed at last Persecution you must fear Win or lose you've got to get your share Got your mind set on a dream You can get it though hard it may seem now You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want But you must try, try and try Try and try You'll succeed at last I know it Listen Rome was not built in a day Opposition will come your way But the harder the battle you see It's the sweeter the victory, now You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want But you must try, try and try Try and try You'll succeed at last (CROWD CHEERING) You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want You can get it if you really want Oh, bloody hell, come on, Chantelle, party's over.
When I lock the door, that means we're shut.
Come on, sling your hook.
You sure you've got the square footage for a casino hotel? I have once I take out the back wall and knock down my flats behind here.
What about planning permission? My mate from the Enterprise Committee left 10 minutes ago with a pocketful of change and a hard-on.
Hey, Hallworth, you missed a great time.
I can have a good time without mindlessly pumping money in a machine.
I'm sure you can.
Every night when you're mindlessly pumping your right hand.
"How hard it will be for the rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.
" It's all in the Bible.
"To all those that have, more will be given "and they shall have an abundance.
" Read the small print, Hallworth.
You didn't think I could speak Bible, did you? Where'd you learn that stuff? Oh, I used to know a man who thought he were God.
Busy shift? That caller Dave was on again, asking if we'd help with the decorating.
Really? When I talked to him, he hadn't settled on a wallpaper.
Well, he's going with Anaglypta.
(CHUCKLES) A teenager with a drug problem, a lady looking after her sick dad This widow, Joan in her fifties, her husband died a few months back in a car crash.
And she said the one thing that kept her going was that he told her he loved her every day.
Every day.
Can you imagine that? - Was she very distraught? - She was fine.
I was in floods of tears.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) Hello, Samaritans, can I help you? (LESSONS IN LOVE BY LEVEL 42) Hey, didn't you give me a blow job round the back last week? - In your dreams.
- Sorry, coming through.
Come to think of it, maybe it was your mother.
Get some manners, gay boy! You really are dead set on ruining my evening, aren't you, blondie? - Lucky me.
- Piss off and spend your winnings.
The last money you get out of my arcade, sunshine.
Go on.
- Piss off! - Skip away like a good little girl.
What? Any time.
Any time! (PEOPLE CHATTERING) Fuck off! (COME ON EILEEN BY DEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNERS) We'd have pulled there if you'd settled for the ugly one.
Why is it always me that has to jump on the grenade? - Wipe your feet.
- Listen to Trust House Forte here.
(MEN LAUGHING) You've done a great job here, Terry.
No more cleaning up stag night puke for me.
I've gone for the classier markets.
- The high-rollers and the gays.
- Very sensible.
Well, it'll take more than a fancy bathroom in your basement to turn this place into Caesar's Palace.
He's maximising his space.
You could learn something from this man.
Yeah, it all looks a bit pricey to me.
What people want is a full English breakfast and a bathroom experience that they'll never forget.
They'll keep coming back for years.
Dual-headed mixer taps with built-in water softener and the real joy the toilet is concealed by a mock-Japanese sliding screen.
Fully functional, classy.
All right, Terry, it's only a bathroom, I don't want to shag it.
(DOORBELL RINGS) - That'll be the takeaway.
- Great, I'm starving.
- What did you order? Chinese or Italian? - A bit of everything.
All right, girls.
Which one of you is going to be the lucky one tonight? (BLUESY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) Hey, mate.
Drop me here.
Just here.
Thank you, mate.
Yes! - What you doing at college today, love? - You know, stuff.
No, I don't know.
Would you care to tell me? Why don't you go first? I guess, hairdressers in the morning, followed by a shift at the Oxfam shop.
- Or is it Italian for beginners today? - Don't exaggerate.
No, go on, tell me, because I can't remember which hobby it is right now.
I'm doing a shift at Samaritans and it's not a hobby.
(NATALIE) You look like shit.
Yes, well, I've been up all night.
What's your excuse? Sarcasm before 8:00.
Is that a record? It was a lovely do, Dad.
I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer.
That's all right, sweetheart.
I just hope he was worth it.
There you go, love.
- I know that look.
What's he like? - What's that supposed to mean? Well, you know.
Is he like your other boyfriends or is he human? And you wonder why I never bring anyone home? What is he, eh? One of the other students? Against global capitalism right up until he gets his first tax demand? - No, he's not another student.
- Bring him home.
I'd like to meet him.
- Do you mean that? - Yes, of course I mean it.
He's important to you, so he's important to me and your mother.
- We'd love to meet him.
- And you won't scowl at him? Don't go asking for miracles.
Everyone outside this house thinks I'm a very friendly guy.
Yes, that's only because you're making them their fortunes.
Here, is that a black eye or are you wearing eyeliner these days? - Ripley.
- I'm just knackered.
There you are, you see, he doesn't bend over, he's just hung over.
I've got to go.
- Nice one, Ripley.
- What? Dad can't help being prehistoric.
It's part of his charm.
Thank you.
(RIPLEY) See the guy with the pencil moustache? That's your Pythagoras.
He has a science to his play.
I'd do her, wouldn't you? Well, if I'd had a drink, maybe.
Yeah, look at him.
Memorises the reels, counts the nudges, listens to the drop of the coin to see if the machine's backing or not.
If the machine's dropping coins down the back, it means it's full and - if it's full, it's more likely to pay out.
- Is that true? No, not really.
But that's the market economy, isn't it? If we admitted it were all down to luck, we'd pay bankers the same as binmen.
And like, if she had the questions, but you got the answer right then you got to say what she did next.
You've really thought this through, haven't you? The Inland Revenue aren't gonna wait for last year's tax bill.
They're gonna make a claim against See the skinny guy behind Pythagoras.
That's the Ghost.
Every arcade has one.
They hover on the mug's shoulder, watching how much money he puts in.
Then they step in for the kill when he wanders off.
See him? The Priest.
He bases his game on prayer and lucky coins.
And the lard addict on the Multiplay, your nervous wreck.
He can't keep still for noticing every other machine seems to be paying out.
He never commits, so he never wins.
- Yeah, fascinating as this is - I know my business.
You know yours.
That's how we make each other rich.
You're just gonna have to use some of the investment capital - we've put to one side for the expansion.
- Isn't that our money? Hey, Terry.
Leave the financial stuff to those that know.
Your investment's safe with this fellow.
He's tight as a witch's chuff.
If you pay your tax with our investment, how will the expansion ever start? All right, dickless, phase one starts here.
- Since when? - Since now.
(RIPLEY) I had all this lined up for tomorrow but you lot, you have to open your presents early, don't you? Not exactly up to your standards, Terry, I know.
Bloody hell, couldn't you run to a couple of air fresheners? Well, why bother when I'm pulling it down anyway.
- Lf it doesn't fall down first.
- I still don't see what this proves.
I think you're forgetting a little word called trust.
Come on, make yourself useful, now you're here.
Who are we? The bloody repo men? I can't involve myself in this sort of thing.
I'm a pillar of the community.
You wanted me to get a move on, didn't you? So come on, let's get started.
I just think it's a bit off you paying your private tax bill with company money.
I've led you two to a pot of gold and all you can do is piss in it.
He's not wrong.
We're shareholders.
- We should have a say in how it's spent.
- So you want the scheme to go tits up because I've got a pain in the cash flow? Fine.
- No, obviously, we don't want that.
- Come on, then.
I'll go and arrange for the transfer of funds to your personal account.
You won't be moaning when you've got "No Vacancies" up all the year round.
Then it will be, "Thank you, Ripley Holden "for dragging Blackpool out of the Dark Ages.
" I'm driving the economic recovery round here, so cut me some slack, would you? - What's going on? - You've been evicted.
What for? Drug taking, noise, being ugly without a licence.
Who knows? The law's supposed to be a mystery.
That's why judges wear wigs.
You know, Vegas gets 30 million visitors a year.
The punters piss in paper cups by the machines because they're terrified of missing the jackpot.
That's the type of customer commitment I'm after.
What are you doing? Could you put some beer in the fridge? He might be a beer man.
Who might be? Shyanne's new boyfriend.
She's bringing him over tonight.
Since when? You said you wanted to meet him and she took you at your word.
When are you going to bring a girl home? Give me something to look at.
Going anywhere nice tonight, love? Hey, answer your mother's question.
I don't know.
Maybe Romeo's.
Romeo's? Weren't you there last night? Why does it always have to be clubs? I was in Romeo's last night.
I didn't see you there.
It's a big club.
You and the lads were in Romeo's? Isn't there an age limit? I've got to go.
I said I'd be somewhere.
What makes that lad tick? He's just going through a sensitive stage.
Oh, right, and there was me thinking he was a mardy arse.
What? Your face.
(RIPLEY SIGHS) If this one's got tattoos, he can keep walking.
He won't have tattoos.
She said he was more mature than the others.
Yeah, well, I live in hope.
(DOOR OPENS) Mum.
Dad.
This is Steve.
Hi.
So what do you do for a living, Steve? I work in the theatre.
- Would we have seen you in anything? - I doubt it.
I'm the manager.
- Which theatre's that, then? - The Theatre Royal.
Never been there.
Now if you'd said Legends there's a bloke down there the absolute image of Shakin' Stevens.
Really, and who's he supposed to be? (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Well, The Royal.
That must be quite a big responsibility.
Is that where The Krankies did panto this year? I've not been there that long.
I'm planning big changes.
Yeah, he's put in for lottery funding.
You'd better get in line behind all those lesbian refugees.
- Dad.
- No, I believe in people paying their way.
I organise charity events myself, but I make sure the money goes to bona fide handicapped.
Let's face it.
These days you have a nosebleed and you get a disabled parking space.
So how did you get into something like that, Steve? I've always loved the theatre but I knew I couldn't act, so this is the next best thing.
Well, my tip to you is, give people what they want and they'll come.
That rules out my play about lesbian refugees, then.
(STEVE AND SHYANNE CHUCKLE) That's funny, Steve.
Maybe you should have been on the stage after all.
Actually, we've got to go.
Yeah, well, already? Yeah.
Well, we've got that thing, haven't we, Steve? Yes, yes.
- Nice to meet you.
- And you.
- Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.
Is she doing this to punish us? Is that what she's up to? Maybe she likes him.
Has that occurred to you? That's what all child molesters say.
Look, I don't like it any more than you do, but Shyanne is nearly 20.
Exactly.
And he's my age.
I can't believe you're taking this so calmly.
If this wasn't your daughter, you'd be patting him on the back.
So I'm a hypocrite.
Is there a law against that, too? You keep ranting and raving and you'll make it seem rebellious and sexy.
What, so we just do nothing? I don't want a repeat of the motorbike incident.
Yeah, okay.
- Okay, you're probably right.
- Yeah, well, I usually am.
What? - Nothing.
- What is it? - I think I drank a bit too much last night.
- Do you want to talk about it? Do I look like Richard Madeley? No, come on.
(SHE'S NOT YOU BY ELVIS PRESLEY) Her hair is soft and her eyes are oh so blue She's all the things a girl should be But she's not you She knows just how to make me laugh when I feel blue She's everything a man could want But she's not you And when we're dancing It almost feels the same I've got to stop myself from whispering your name She even kisses me like you used to do And it's just breaking my heart 'cause she's not you And it's just breaking my heart 'cause she's not you (NATALIE SIGHS) (BOTH PANTING) (FAST-PACED INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) Ripley.
Hello.
What are you doing here? I didn't hear you come in.
And you never will.
The old kung fu shuffle.
I see you've got Tony Vialli, the world's greatest accordion player coming next month.
Yeah, we do Golden Variety for the pensioners mid-week.
But like I say, it's my intention to shake things up a bit.
Listen to Andrew Lloyd Webber here.
I realise it might sound funny to you.
If you weren't going out with my daughter, it might sound funny.
But there's something about the thought of you near her that makes me lose my sense of humour.
Shyanne's a wonderful woman.
She's turned my life around.
Don't use my daughter to make you feel better about yourself.
- I don't think that's how Shyanne sees it.
- Steve.
I'm a man of the world.
I know it's nice to feel flesh with a bit of spring in it but society has taboos for a reason.
And that reason is so saggy-arsed old burn-outs like you don't get their hands on a wet dream like my daughter.
I know this must be hard to accept.
What I find hard to accept is you sit pretending you don't know who I am.
- I don't know you.
- South Shore Secondary Modern.
1970-77, right? Yeah.
You were there, too? We were at the same school? Now you're poking my daughter.
I'm trying not to break a rib laughing at the coincidence.
- I don't remember you.
- I've changed.
I think I'd remember a name like Ripley Holden.
I wasn't Ripley Holden then.
- Who were you? - Someone else.
Have you got a pen? Yeah.
(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) Now there's a name you might remember.
What you should know is that Ripley Holden is a ton more messed up than this boy.
Where've you been? I've been standing here since 9:30 with a burning ulcer.
All right.
Give me some room, would you, Chantelle? (BABY CRYING) Ruth, you need a man.
A good seeing-to will do you more good than liver salts.
Oh, I thought I set this last night.
You can't buy a bastard thing in this country.
Mr Holden? That's right.
Detective Inspector Peter Carlisle, North Lakes Constabulary.
That boyish looking creature is D.
C.
Blythe.
I just can't get my head round this.
Why is this happening to me? Why now? It's a full-blown mystery, sir.
That's why I'm here.
Do I know you at all? You one of Allbright's lot? No, I'm not local.
They called me in because they're overstretched.
Sort of like an emergency plumber, but less well paid.
So, you found the body? I open the door, go over to the alarm, start putting in the code then I notice it's not on, and then, there he is, in all his glory.
- Do you recognise him? - Never seen him before in my life.
- Do you want to take another look? - Has anybody got a Rennie on them? I have a very nervous tummy and this has set it off.
Funnily enough.
Somewhere.
I never leave home without antacids.
Keep them.
I'm taking Kaolin and Morphine on a trial basis.
No, I definitely don't know him.
Why would anybody do this? I just I locked up last night and I opened up this morning.
So how did he get in here? We're filing it as a suspicious death for now, just to keep the paperwork in order.
Suspicious? It's miraculous.
He got through a locked door, tripped the alarm, then killed himself.
What makes you think he killed himself? I don't.
I was making a joke.
Freud would say that your jokes revealed a truth buried in your subconscious.
Oh, what do you know? A copper who's read a book.
Well, if I'd read two books, maybe I'd run an amusement arcade.
Well, I wouldn't know about that.
I run a family entertainment centre.
And I'm a crime-citizen interface consultant.
Political correctness strikes again.
You know what? I get Chinky lads down here all the time and they tell me kung fu jokes.
We'll always find new insults.
Prejudice is very inventive like that.
That's right.
You know what he's done, don't you? He's hid behind the dance stage while I'm locking up, tried to rob the slots, got himself electrocuted.
- Thanks for sorting that out for us.
- He looked the type, didn't he? You know, hair like that.
I'll do everything I can to get you open again as soon as possible.
- What, you're closing me down? - Just till forensics are happy.
No, I know it's a tragic loss and everything but I've got the biggest deal of my life riding on this arcade.
You can read about it in here.
Thanks.
I think I know where you're coming from.
Scruffy bastard.
So, what's the arcade chap like? - A prick.
- A guilty prick? A prick has no conscience.
Didn't your father tell you anything? His story seems a little unlikely.
Acquire an ID on the body, go through the CCTV from the pubs and clubs talk to witnesses.
The gruelling but necessary slog that makes our police force enviable.
- What are you going to do? - I'll start with Ripley's wife.
I'm good with wives.
A dead man? Just there on the floor? Dead as Southport he was.
Six feet from the kiddies rides.
How sick is that? That is awful.
Who was he? I don't know.
Neither do the police.
Some deadbeat or other.
It'd be a deadbeat.
That's right.
- I've had to close the arcade.
- How long for? So what did they think? The coppers.
They got any ideas? Have they heck! They'll just tit around for a few days and file it away.
Got to look like they're earning the tax payers' shilling, haven't they? Shyanne.
(SHYANNE SOBBING) Love? He's finished with me by text.
How cheap is that? So no explanation or anything? Just said it wasn't working for him.
He was sorry.
That was it.
Oh, cheap bastard, eh? I don't know what you're getting angry about.
I could tell you didn't like him.
I'll be straight.
You know, I did have a few problems about the age difference but only because I want what's best for you.
Well, he is.
I love him, Dad.
And don't you start telling me I'll get over it.
Look at me.
Hey, look at me.
When I was your age, I was the loneliest bastard on this bastard planet.
And the worst thing was people telling me it was going to get better But for what it's worth, you're a beautiful, intelligent young woman.
And the man you're gonna spend the rest of your life with is out there now, somewhere.
You've not even met him yet.
Isn't that something to get excited about? I suppose.
Steve's a bigger prick than I thought he was to finish with you.
- You were doing well till that last bit.
- Come here.
You don't think Mum warned him off or anything, do you? No.
Your mum's a bit of a hothead, but she'd never do anything like that.
So that's the last we'll be seeing of Steve, I suppose.
Broke the poor girl's heart.
- Quite a coincidence though, isn't it? - What's that? You meet him, you don't like him, and the next day he finishes with Shyanne.
Yeah, that's why it's called coincidence, I suppose.
I didn't know you believed in coincidence.
I run an amusement arcade.
Of course, I believe in coincidence.
How else could I look the punter in the eye? Yeah, well, maybe we'll leave that one for another day.
Are you feeling horny at all? I love it when you whisper sweet nothings.
Is that a yes or a no? Well, a little more effort might be nice.
You know, something a bit romantic.
- Do you want to talk about it? - Piss off, Ripley.
Now who's being romantic? (SLOT MACHINES HUMMING) (SLOT MACHINES BEEPING) (ELECTRONIC VOICE) Whole lotta shakin'goin' on.
Oh, boy! (BLYTHE) Ripley Holden used to own three arcades off Promenade but he sold them all 6 months ago to bid for this Promenade site when it came up.
- He's got a lot riding on it.
- He's a great salesman.
Says who? It's what I've been getting from everybody I've spoken to.
He believes in family, money and Blackpool.
Not always in that order.
What about the family? What did you get on them? Danny, the son, goes to a private school but the local police think he might be dabbling in soft drugs.
Well, who didn't at his age? The daughter, Shyanne, goes to college locally.
And Natalie Holden is the perfect trophy wife.
Combines public appearances with dedicated housewife and charity work.
And she scrubs up nicely by all accounts.
- I wouldn't know.
- I'll report back to you once I've met her.
The question is, what's she doing with Ripley Holden? Oh, Blythe, one day you'll fall in love and you'll find out that the heart is a complicated and capricious organ.
Right.
Back to the arcade then, is it? Yeah.
For me, I'm gonna get a list of key holders off Ripley Holden.
What, on your own? Ripley and I already have a breathless repartee.
I wouldn't want you coming between us.
There's your problem.
Great.
Romanian.
Went on holiday there once.
Cigarettes and coffee.
That's the only currency they believe in.
It's some sort of foreign coin.
Yes, thank you, Hugh Scully! Inspector Carlisle.
- Have you come to give me my arcade? - No, not quite.
I was wondering if you could give me a list of anybody who has access to keys to this place.
Hang on a minute.
You don't think my staff have anything to do with this, do you? Have you checked whether he was electrocuted yet? We did.
And he wasn't.
The early signs are that he'd been dead for a day or so before you found him.
So he were dumped here? Well, you see, I attract a lot of jealousy.
Because we don't like success in this country, do we? So I'd start with the anti-gambling mob and the other arcade owners.
But not my staff.
No way.
They love working here.
They're like family.
In a good way or a Fred West way? The Bar X.
A design classic.
You know, graphics, fun themes.
High-low rollers can come and go but this beauty Nothing hidden.
That's right.
And a simpleton could enjoy it.
Clearly.
- Do you want a go? - I'm busy.
Go on.
Have a go.
On me.
And if I were you, I'd try that machine two along.
Who knows? You might have a bit of beginner's luck.
The list of the key holders? No point.
You won't be working on this much longer.
Why? Are you ready to confess already? Does the name Jim Allbright mean anything to you? No.
Why, should it? See, what you're not getting is I'm somebody around here.
Which makes me, what? Nobody? (SCOFFS) Don't flatter yourself, cock, you're not even that.
Ruth, we'll be open tomorrow.
So get Maureen to set the cafe up and you have a bath tonight.
See you later.
It's not as easy as you think, Ripley.
It's complicated.
What's complicated? You're the big cheese.
Give him the red card.
He's from outside the town.
He's been sent across from Kendal.
It's his case now.
So he's not under my jurisdiction.
Which leaves you as what? Deputy Chief Inspector of Donkey Shit? What is it he's done to upset you exactly? He thinks me and my staff have got something to do with that lad's death.
You might not care about that but you should care that he's shut the arcade and he's keeping it shut.
Which means nobody makes any money.
Not me.
Not you.
Not anybody.
Look, this Carlisle bloke is just a shit copper with an ego problem.
It's the same with anybody we bring in for the overflow cases.
He'll have only ever done small town crime so he'll be excited for a few days.
You won't have to put up with him for too long.
Is that the best you can do? All right.
I'll have a word.
Mark his card.
I'm touched our friendship means so much to you.
Don't be like that.
And I want that sunbed back.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING) (SLOW JAZZY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) (DOORBELL BUZZES) Hi.
Can I help you? I think I'm beyond help.
I'm sorry, I thought you rang the bell.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
But I'm not quite sure why.
I just saw the door and the sign.
- Just had to ring the bell.
- Exactly.
Yeah, I played a lot of knock and run as a child.
Sometimes I regress.
I see.
Okay.
Well, I've got phones to answer, so So, do you work here, then? I'm a volunteer, yeah.
And you'll just talk to anyone who comes in off the street? Yeah.
That's the general idea.
Even me? Even you, yeah.
Listen, do you want to come inside and we can talk about what's troubling you? What makes you think anything's troubling me? Well, you don't seem to be able to walk away.
If you did want to talk about something, you might at least want to come inside.
Are you depressed? Erm, not yet, but I've only been here a couple of days.
I have a question.
I can't work out why anyone would do this.
- Why do you say that? - So you're not going to answer me, then? - We're not here to talk about me.
- No, but I'd like to.
Why? There you go again.
Evasive.
You're very good at that, aren't you? Why are you trying to trick me into talking about myself all the time? Come on, just tell me why you do this and then I'll open up.
- I'm nosy.
- You're very fortunate.
Not everyone can turn their vices into charitable works.
I hadn't really seen it like that before.
Would you like to go out for a drink with me? It's not possible.
It's not what I'm here for.
But if I was to bump into you in the street and ask you out then what would you say? I'd say "Thank you very much - "but I'm married.
" - But not happily.
- Because you're not happy, are you? - That's none of your business.
And that's why you do this because if you listen to people who are unhappier than you, it makes the pain seem that bit easier, doesn't it? Doesn't it occur to you that there might be somebody who wants to talk to me - who really does need my time? - How do you know that isn't me? Well, I hope you got what you came for.
What? You're just not what I'd imagined.
(DOOR CLOSES) Can I help you? Peter Carlisle? Deputy Chief Inspector Jim Allbright.
What's this doing up? He's our main suspect.
You're coming at this a bit sideways, aren't you, son? - I thought he found the body.
- He did.
And it turns out the victim died on the night the arcade had its opening party.
So that rules him in, not out.
You should have come to me first.
I was at the party.
Ripley was with me all night.
Of course.
You're Ripley Holden's friend.
I thought that name rang a bell.
That's right.
So what were you doing on the night in question, as the cliche goes? We were just out and about, you know.
- I'm going to need more than that.
- It was a lad's night out.
Am I to understand you were pursuing romantic liaisons with members of the opposite sex, sir? Nothing hardcore.
Just a bit of fun.
You wouldn't find a more devoted father than Ripley Holden.
Devoted to what, exactly? I hope you're not trying to make a name for yourself, son.
Thanks for the alibi, Jim.
Holden seems to have borrowed money from every businessman in town to do the arcade up.
It's funny, he doesn't strike me as the trustworthy type.
Come on, let's go and play the slots.
What for? I trust you aren't questioning my methodology, Blythe? - I wasn't aware you had a methodology.
- You stay there, then.
Would you look at that? Nudge? Hi-Lo? Take Feature? Am I supposed to be this confused? If you save your nudges, you can get up one of the trails.
Then you get into the feature tower.
It's like a foreign language.
You're that copper, aren't you? That's right.
You're Danny Holden, aren't you? There.
Nudge now.
Middle reel.
There.
That's great.
I don't have a clue how I did it but that's great.
Mate of mine grew up in Blackpool.
This was years ago now.
Said he hated being a local.
- You know why? - Why? Because if it wasn't pissed-up Geordie week, it was pissed-up Glasgow week.
And if it wasn't Mancs, it was the Scousers.
And they all wanted to do one thing.
Beat up the locals.
- Nothing changes.
- Yeah, I'll bet.
So, did you see this man in any fights the other night? No.
Are you sure? Because we've got you and him on CCTV going into Romeo's within ten minutes of each other.
I didn't see him there.
I never saw him after he left this place.
He was here? At the arcade opening night? Are you sure? Of course I'm sure.
You could hardly miss hair like that, could you? Okay, Braveheart.
What do you think you're doing? I'm just trying to ascertain where science ends and luck begins.
You're talking to my son.
He's a minor.
You don't talk to my son without me being there, understand? Okay.
I'll just collect my winnings.
Mr Holden, just one question and I'll be gone.
- What do you want to know? - What's an AWP? Amusement with Prizes.
Like that machine you've just been playing.
I see.
Amusement with Prizes.
Sounds a bit like life itself, doesn't it? And you are absolutely sure you didn't see him here at your opening night party? Absolutely.
You know why? Because he wasn't here that night.
Now, are you sure of your way out? (THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKING BY NANCY SINATRA) You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin' And you keep losin' when you oughta not bet You keep samin' when you oughta be a'changin' Now, what's right is right but you ain't been right yet These boots are made for walking and that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin' And you keep thinkin' that you'll never get burnt I just found me a brand-new box of matches, yeah And what he knows you ain't had time to learn These boots are made for walking and that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you Are you ready, boots Start walking Look.
The prick left two features on hold.
And he's supposed to be the smart one.
(SLOT MACHINE BEEPING) Come on.