Bros (2024) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
1
INSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS
[gunfire]
Fucking asshole!
You okay back there, Nisso?
Open your eyes, Nisso!
-[tires squealing]
-Wake the fuck up!
[quirky theme song playing]
BROS
TEN DAYS EARLIER
[host] Hey, listeners,
welcome back to the second hour
of our sports program
here on Radio Jerusalem.
Wisła Kraków is in town,
Beitar Jerusalem's opponent has landed.
And they are on their way
to our capital from Ben Gurion Airport
[Nisso] Stop kicking that ball so high,
you could kill someone.
-Kill who? I've got sticky feet.
-[Nisso laughs]
Like Shalom Rokban as a kid.
-[radio in background]
-Why are you here?
It's so great.
We drew a normal team this time, huh?
Not like those killers from Lisbon.
Last time they kicked our asses.
Finally, we got an easy draw on this one.
[Nisso] Look.
I think this one works.
Here, look.
Huh? Okay, so why don't we use the fan?
It's gross.
So? It's for back here.
Besides, man, you're gross,
and we still use you at the bar.
[chuckles]
What's going on there?
Did he sell?
-[man on ledge] I don't know.
-[Nisso] That place is huge.
He could do great with it.
[radio in background]
What can he make?
This block might need,
I don't know, a yogurt guy?
[host] sold out, and that's a pity
for those that don't have tickets.
This one went quick.
If they win the first match at Teddy,
are we gonna go to the rematch?
Hey, hey, hey, don't jinx it.
Let's win it first.
-Shit.
-What?
What's wrong with you assholes?!
[chuckles] He shoots, he scores!
-Sorry, Barane.
-[Barane laughs drily]
Hey, Barane, where's my sandal?
[Barane] Go walk barefoot, douchebag.
Well, I'm not sure I'd let that one slide.
-Where'd you hide it, huh?
-[Barane laughs]
-Hey!
-Look at my guy here.
-[laughing]
-Get lost!
Let's say hi.
I'll start.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Don't worry,
I'll get it out of the street.
No, w-we're not inspectors.
Yes, I know,
you're from that bar, right? Piniones?
Frozen yogurt?
-Yogurt?
-Frozen yogurt stand?
No. We're opening one as well.
-"We" who?
-Why "as well"?
Us. Opening a bar.
"We" is our group.
You know the Iguana, Shakespeare?
Only from the name.
In a clothing store, you're opening a bar?
You shouldn't worry, though.
The concept is really different.
It's like
the dance clubs and bars in Amsterdam.
It's not a pub.
Our place is for dancing.
I see.
Uh Best of luck.
Uh-huh.
You know, I just hope the concept
of a dance club fits here in the city.
-It's not Amsterdam, huh?
-[chuckles] Yeah.
You're right, it's tough for sure.
That's our reputation, that we're nuts.
-[laughs]
-[soft chuckle]
-Have a nice day.
-Yeah.
[lively lounge music playing]
[music continues]
PINIONES KEBAB BAR
Business is good.
[man chuckles]
Nisso. Check out your partner
drinking from the tap like it's water.
Oh, man, right?
The bar belongs to him, guys.
Why do you give a damn?
Money down the drain with him.
You're gonna pour,
then get me one as well, extra fine, huh?
That's his problem,
he hates to see me having fun.
He always has to call me out.
Did you hear we're playing Poland?
I want to destroy them.
What is Wisła Kraków, anyway?
It's just the Polish team. Who cares?
Can you name just one Polish guy?
Those boys eat cabbage over there.
Och! That makes you gassy.
It's a good thing
we didn't draw the Vikings again.
Don't forget the Norwegians
who were calling them all amateurs.
Really? They humiliated us.
Maybe if we win the first game at Teddy,
Nisso and I are going to the rematch.
I'll come too. I'm there.
You'll be there too, right, Yaffit?
[deep voice] "I'll come too."
Like you can afford to fly to Poland.
Well, savings?
First I'd have to check with my mother.
Come on, let's wait until we win, okay?
Let's not jinx it.
So, another heart-to-heart
about Beitar again?
Get some customers in here.
I don't get it, Nisso.
Who's working for who in this place?
Right.
Hey, you mind your manners, girlie.
Oh, yeah?
Why is that? Could I get fired?
[Yaffit] You'd better not fire my cousin,
or I'll kick you where it hurts.
Where it hurts.
[laughs]
[car rattling]
Hey, what's the matter with you?
You've got the money,
so just get a new car.
It's not about money.
Loyalty is my reason.
Loyalty is more important.
Mazi gives me luck.
Ever since I've had her,
hamsa hamsa, I've had good luck.
You really think that if you
trade in Mazi, your luck will run out?
Yes. "Change your place,
change your luck." Huh?
It's about a place, not a car.
Right. But a car does, in fact,
take you from one place to another.
Uh-huh.
You got it all?
I brought four.
Is four enough?
Yes, of course four is enough.
It's not like we're going to war.
[car creaking]
I don't know.
The noise makes it sound
like we're going into battle.
Come on. All I can taste
in my mouth is fucking gasoline.
-So breathe through your nose.
-I can't. I can't.
There's gas vapors in the air.
I'm telling you, you have a leak.
Actually I do.
I've got to get it fixed.
For real?
Your car has been leaking gas,
we'll be stuck out there.
You think I'm that dumb?
I always have two gallons in my trunk.
[clicking lighter]
No, no, no, no, no. You shouldn't.
TEAM WISŁA KRAKÓW RESIDENCE,
HILTON JERUSALEM
What a piss!
I must have pissed a liter.
So?
Voilà. Huh?
No, it's not good.
-Why no good?
-Why at this angle?
-What?
-Just look.
It has to go like this, like this.
Like this.
-Straight at the hotel.
-What?
And light 'em up.
What? No, what?
Are you some Hezbollah militant?
What, no good?
No. You want to fire it up
in the sky, not in his room.
I don't mind if one finds his room.
You want to wake them up,
not murder them.
-So what, like this?
-Yes.
[pipe clangs]
-It's too high, isn't it?
-No, no.
It eventually comes down.
There. Right there.
-You have a light?
-Yes. Two each, right?
And stand back. I don't know
how much explosives are in there.
Okay?
Let's go.
-Wait.
-Ready?
-Yeah, motherfucker.
-Now.
-Yeah.
-Go, Beitar.
-Go, Beitar. Go, Beitar.
-Go.
-Gonna light 'em all.
-Wait, wait.
Motherfucker.
-There!
-Wait, but that one isn't
No, no, no, leave it, leave it, leave it.
[cheering]
-It works, God damn it, it's great!
-Wow!
Hey, Kraków! Wake up!
No one's gonna let you sleep!
-Ah-ha-ha!
-This stuff can wake the dead!
Oh! They'll be dead
on the field tomorrow, just dead!
Welcome to Jerusalem, you bastards!
[fireworks exploding]
[in Polish] Bombs?
[in Polish] Mom told me
not to come here it's a war zone.
Hey oh! Hey oh! Hey oh! Hey oh!
Hey oh! Hey oh! Hey oh!
-This fucking guy.
-Motherfuckers.
-Damn it, I'm going to light this fucker.
-Yeah.
That one isn't lighting.
Good thing I had four.
I'll light the fucking hell
out of it, now watch.
[Nisso] Well?
[Nisso clears throat]
-There.
-Back, back!
[friend chuckles]
-What the hell?
-Huh. Is it incense?
Son of a bitch.
[sighs]
It's fucked.
-Look here.
-How can you tell it's fucked?
-It's fucked.
-It should look like that, right?
No, are you nuts? Look, it's fucked.
It's fucked? How do you know it's fucked?
You can't see it like that.
Here, look like this.
Come from this angle.
Look inside.
-Well?
-Can't you see it's blocked?
-So?
-So
It has to be blocked. See?
It's a firework, not binoculars.
If it was hollow, what would explode?
So you're teaching physics now?
It's fucked. Let's go to the car
before the police come.
Oh, yeah, let's get back
to your piece of shit.
Shh! She could be listening.
Quiet, man.
Why would I care if she hears me?
You want to be cursed
and have my transmission die?
It's all right, dude,
it'll stop in a minute.
The fire is cold.
[shouting]
You jinxed me! Look what you did!
It's okay. Your insurance will pay.
Why? To be insured,
it costs more than Mazi.
Quit laughing, man.
This is all your fucking fault!
[laughing]
Stop it. She can hear you!
Stop laughing.
God's doing you a favor.
Get a new car already.
Two gallons in the trunk?
Oh
Oh, Mazi!
And you said I couldn't light a cigarette.
Get away from me.
Let's go before the cops come. Let's go.
Ahh
-Come on, let's go.
-Say goodbye?
Bye.
[laughing]
It's comparing Fiat with Ferrari.
Is he trying to drive me crazy?
Listen.
Look, a Ferrari can hit 120
in just 3.4 seconds.
Fiat, of course, uh, can reach 120
if it can run up its speed,
driving fast down a hill on a clear road.
Understand?
So I'm a Fiat?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You're not a Fiat, no.
You're a Mercedes, okay?
-Hmm.
-Hell yeah, Mercedes.
Obviously I'm a Mercedes.
It says I'm a Mercedes.
Uh, the lab said my count was fantastic,
so I don't understand.
Why are you on my case?
Hey, the amount is great.
I'm serious, absolutely fine.
But quality is very important.
If they swim fast or plod.
I'm from Jerusalem.
We're not so good in the water.
-Is there anything we can do?
-Of course.
Good lifestyle habits are helpful tools.
-Well, our lifestyle's great.
-Quiet.
What might affect this?
Not enough rest.
High alcohol consumption, smoking,
not to mention using drugs, right?
You know what I'm talking about.
No.
No?
No idea what he's talking about?
Excuse me, what do you do for work?
Uh a business owner.
What kind of business, huh?
Go ahead.
He asked, what are you?
What kind of business
do you have, anyway?
A chef? A fitness coach? Go ahead.
A bar.
So you do know what I'm talking about.
Think about it.
[electric drill whirring]
[furniture clatters]
-Huh?
-Ouch!
God damn that fucking chair.
-[chuckles]
-So, help me stand up.
Come on.
Are you hurt?
What the hell is that for?
Know what it's like to wake up
to that shit, like I was back in Lebanon?
What were you sneaking around for, babe?
I wanted to change that ugly lamp shade.
Should have waited till I woke up.
Yeah, but it was a surprise.
Look.
You did that?
It's IKEA.
You like it?
-What's wrong with the old one?
-It's bad?
-God
-Make me a cup too.
[sighing]
I just got up, it should be you.
Please? I need a coffee,
without foam, okay?
Whatever you say.
I get what you're trying to do
with that lamp shade, you know?
What?
You're marking your territory.
This is you pissing here.
Dealing with dummies,
you have to make a statement.
Wait, what?
I don't get it.
Listen, pal, no stress.
You know that
we're not living together right now,
and I am my family are Ben-Shitrit.
And why do you think
I sleep with my bat, huh?
Don't act all cute.
The bat can't save you now.
Why? What will you do?
Careful, you.
You've got a pretty face so far.
Then, baby, do your worst.
-Wait.
-What?
-The coffee. You know
-Oh.
There.
[chuckles]
-No, no, the cookies.
-Where?
There. Just a second.
Seriously? You're going this slow?
I'm doing 40 because
your pot's in the car.
"Your pot's in the car"?
Instead of saying,
"What a darling husband I have!"
"He stopped by his mother's
and brought sofrito,
fauleh with meat, kubbeh hamuth,"
but instead you lay on the guilt.
Yeah, it's uncomfortable, get it?
Every time we're invited to my parents,
your mother cooks the food for you.
What's wrong with that?
I'm bringing a taste of Jerusalem.
Well, I'm sure that has to be it,
not because you hate
all of my mom's food.
You really call that food, huh?
Oh, man, you're a jerk.
You should know
she's starting to get wise.
She's intelligent.
[both laugh]
You can go faster.
It's sofrito, not soup.
We'll never get there going 40.
Says the Fiat.
Not funny.
True.
You know it's on you now.
That's the first time I heard
the theory of a connection
between how fast they go
and the fact that I drink beer.
Please, you know what I'm talking about.
All those crazy hours, the alcohol.
You know, forget the beer, not beer.
The hash and the booze.
The pitas at midnight, at 3:00 a.m.
Usually it's two pitas.
You get one for Nisso,
but it doesn't reach him.
Wait a minute.
You started counting my pitas?
Come on, you know what I mean.
I'll do crunches.
It really is an antique.
Yep, 1984.
What, you remember the year?
Yeah.
That lamp is one of the last things
my dad got me before he died.
It was just a few months
before he passed away.
I'm a big jerk.
Hmm?
Oh, no, don't you worry about it.
That's okay, I'll exchange it
for some nice oven mitts.
[rooster crows]
So this is the vibe now?
Sour as vinegar?
No, not vinegar.
So why aren't we speaking, then?
[Alma] I'm speaking.
What can I do, Alma?
I don't know.
What? Should we ignore it?
You tell me.
I'll change things, Alma, I promise.
I'm not going to mix booze
and weed anymore, all right?
-Is that enough?
-Wait.
It could be time.
For what?
Bars are for young people.
Not for people who are thinking
about having a family.
Ah.
So you want me to get a job
for someone my age?
No, no, I'm not saying that.
Alma, I'm surprised. What?
I really have to explain the meaning
of Piniones, the institution?
We started the place with our bare hands.
Anybody who comes to Jerusalem
and hears "Piniones" knows the place.
Okay, Piniones can stay.
Oh, it can? Without me?
Piniones can stay.
I'll go to my buddy Nisso,
who made it a home, took me in,
rescued me, and then
gave me ten years of work.
Now I'll go to him and say,
"Listen, I want a family, screw you."
"Make it on your own."
Oh, come on.
Why do you have to be like that?
'Cause, 'cause, you're confusing things
that aren't related, Alma.
That has nothing to do
with what the doctor said.
You're right.
Fine, leave it.
So let's change the subject.
Can we talk about something else?
And I'm warning you
that better not be the topic
of conversation at dinner.
Fiat?
[laughing]
It's a great car, actually.
My Fiorino has never
even needed a mechanic.
Dad, that's just because
you do everything yourself.
You have the best hands, Hilik.
It's not complicated.
Even Yigal here can do it, right?
Right.
What's a car?
It only takes you from A
To B.
Fine. But we're not talking just cars.
We were talking about Alma's eggs.
First he has to reach her eggs.
I don't know if they
can even swim all that way.
-[gasps]
-[family laughing]
Would anyone like any sofrito
or some of Nisso's something?
Yeah, me.
Sweetie, what's wrong?
Why aren't you eating?
I don't really like Grandma's food, Mom.
Can I have what Pini brought?
Sure, sure. Give her some.
And then give it here.
Oh, sure.
-Yigal?
-Huh?
Did you eat the liver salad?
It's my specialty.
Uh, is that the sweet one?
Mm-hmm. I made it just for you.
-[chuckles] Thank you. Thanks.
-[grandmother laughs]
Nitza's a great cook, right?
Huh?
-[cow moos]
-[Yigal sniffs]
[Hilik clears throat]
[salesman] So, what are you looking for?
I don't need something too dramatic.
It should have a casual feel, but
it's a special occasion,
know what I mean?
What's special, then?
It's my first one.
You were single until now?
Yeah, that's right. Until I got caught.
-You took a while, huh?
-Yeah.
Garbage generation.
You only care about yourselves.
Meir, we're the same age.
What are you babbling on about?
So what? I've evolved.
You think you're better than me, huh?
No. You, man of the world? Please.
Well, drop it, okay.
She's a sweetheart, I'm sure of that.
If it's for her,
get her something romantic.
How about a blue heart?
[Meir] Nothing wrong with that.
I'll put the duplicate key on it.
And I'll put it in a nice box too, huh?
Box? Uh, some ring box?
No, she'll open it
and think it's some ring, and bam, key.
Ah, not any key.
Made at my shop and guaranteed.
Forget it. I'll put it in my pocket.
You can keep your box.
Here.
For real, inviting us
to drink on the house?
The invitation is mine.
-He just pours the drinks.
-[laughing]
His grandfather
poured drinks for the king.
It's true.
Here you go, girls.
Hope you know your way home.
I wouldn't trust them.
Ah, shit, it's Cruella de Vil.
[Pini] Fuck her.
It's your turn to deal with her.
Good luck.
Ah.
Your guests are too far over.
There's a line, right?
But, Yardena, it's 4 centimeters,
and your store's closed now.
But it's a big mess out front.
A lot of people walk by at night.
Well, yeah, but they've come to drink.
They're not your clients.
I told you already.
You really want to put
these tables out, then pay.
We talked about this.
All right.
Uh
Barane?
Barane, get this table
out of Yardena's way, okay?
He'll move it.
-Hey, cheers.
-L'chaim!
Cheers!
-Opa!
-[Middle Eastern jazz playing]
Let's go!
How does it come to this every night?
Shit-faced, you mean?
Oh, nice language.
What made you pick a guy like that?
What was it, huh?
You knew what you were getting into.
You worked here for three years.
You didn't understand who he was?
It bothers me that I always
have to be the bad guy.
And we talked about this.
Didn't he tell you what the doctor said?
No.
[laughing]
-[Alma] Let's go.
-Moving on. Where?
Come on,
I need to get up early in the a.m.
What's the problem?
You've got the summer off.
It's not September yet.
I said I was working for Mali
for a few days of summer school.
You don't listen when I talk?
You're gonna leave me with these animals?
No, you can't drive.
We're going together.
No, no, I won't drive myself, okay?
Nisso will drive me.
I'm not taking you anywhere.
I'm not your taxi driver.
-You killed Mazi, remember?
-He's just saying that.
Enough already.
You think I'm like one of your customers?
You're not leaving?
I can't. Alma. Look at this place.
I'm working here.
It's not fun.
How much did you drink?
This isn't my glass.
I'm just holding it.
How much did I drink?
Two.
-Two?
-[laughing]
Come on!
Nope, sorry.
No, I'm not sure. I lost count.
I'm very sorry, baby.
That's the last drink, I swear.
Tomorrow we start swimming lessons.
You watch him.
And don't smoke anymore, all right?
Just the drinks.
Oh, no, I don't smoke and drink.
Oh I'll drink water. Okay?
So I
So I dilute it.
Have you no shame? My God.
She's not even around the corner.
It's not for me, bro.
I can't stand weed. Here.
Who are you hiding it from?
Are you ashamed or something?
From Rotem. If she takes it,
she won't ever give it back to me.
Oh, please.
You know you love me.
The lamp shade not the greatest idea,
but you know what sounds good to me.
-[man] Rotem!
-Oh, hang on.
That tap on the beer is empty again.
-Hang on a second.
-No. Why wait? He has orders to fill.
Just go change the keg.
There is no keg. I put a new one in
at the start of the night.
Great. Well, it's empty.
'Cause Pini drank it all.
Yeah, right. So what, I say we're out?
No way, come on.
We never run out, do we?
Let's go.
Why are you letting him drive like that?
-Hey, hang on, you idiot.
-[engine revs]
God damn it.
You're not driving. Hang on.
God fucking guy.
Hey Go on, crank up the volume.
See you in ten minutes.
Wait a second! God damn it.
Wait for me!
[Pini] I'm here! I'm waiting for you!
Whoo!
[whimsical music playing]
[Nisso] You're crossing the line.
Look how you're driving.
Pull over and let me drive!
[Pini] It's all good, brother, relax.
It's all under control.
-So fat, it can't carry you.
-Slow down!
-Take a right here, already.
-Oh, a right?
-A right!
-Right, right!
Careful!
[Nisso] Watch out!
-Ugh!
-[bike clatters]
Yaaah! What the Pini!
-Nisso, look out! Watch out!
-[horn honking]
[screaming]
[horn blares]
Nisso!
What's that?
Nisso! Jump!
Jump where?
What does this look like?
Take my hand, take it!
Forget the hand!
You want to drag me along the concrete?!
-[screaming]
-[horn blaring]
Help! What's that?
[screams] Whoa!
Watch out, man, an intersection!
What? Wait, wait!
Where are you going? Wait!
Pini, what the hell?
Jump already!
[both screaming]
[car alarm blaring]
[siren wailing]
Nisso.
Nisso.
Nisso!
Is he gonna be okay?
Yeah.
So what's with his eyes
looking all fishlike?
[medic] He's in shock.
Nisso! Say something
so I know you can hear me.
He hears fine, he just
might not want to speak to you.
What the hell do you mean?
Ow! What the hell you doing?
Don't do that. He hit his head.
Okay.
Just needed to see
if my friend's still alive.
His eyes look dead, like a corpse.
-How are you?
-[groans]
How do I look?
Not bad. There's not a scratch on you.
Sure, sure.
Hey, don't move so much.
So why is he in my ambulance?
[medic] I don't know,
he said you're family.
Family? I don't even know him.
Oh. He could be badly hurt.
You remember the crash, Nisso?
You were driving and
and you slipped, lost control of it.
Then you tried braking,
but nothing worked?
Didn't work, huh? Was I driving?
Did you forget who was?
He's totally out of his mind.
You do remember your name, huh?
Nisso.
So shut up, you fuckhead.
Don't you ever talk to me again.
Closing already? It's early.
No, no, of course not.
You guys want to sit at the bar?
-Yeah, here's fine.
-Can we still get food?
Uh, the kitchen is closed,
but what would you like?
That's okay. Menu, please.
Here you go.
-Menus.
-Thanks so much.
[softly] They're here to spy on you.
Who?
That guy bought the Bukharian's club.
Kebabs.
I get it. We say the kitchen
is closed, and he wants a menu.
You want us to get them to leave?
I can take them, Yaffit.
Yeah, sure you can, Hercules.
You really think I need your help?
-I offered.
-It's okay.
Nisso and Pini will be back soon,
and they'll take care of it.
And take care of it they will.
Fuck them.
So have you got it all memorized?
-It's not that hard. It's pretty simple.
-Yeah.
We're simple.
Being simple isn't simple.
Let's go.
SHAARE ZEDEK HOSPITAL
[Nisso] Nothing is wrong with you.
Why did you admit yourself? Go home.
[Pini] We're self-employed, dude.
You might pick up
a few bucks from the state.
I just pray God takes you.
You're gonna pay for this.
You weave between
the cars like Bruce Willis.
[Pini laughs]
You're fine, sir.
I just need to get some urine.
Uh not sure what's going on, Doc.
[laughs] I have no pee-pee.
Yeah, poor guy.
He hasn't had a sip.
Hey!
-I'm going to kill you!
-Come on, I'm fine.
Here. Totally perfect. Look at me.
You drove it, right?
No. No way, babe. Nisso was.
Is that true, Nisso?
Oh, yeah.
Shh! Don't make a big deal.
Fine. I don't understand what happened.
The sidecar broke off of the bike.
Our balance was shot and and we fell.
Not a big deal, no drama.
God damn it.
Lucky it wasn't on a highway or a hill.
For sure.
[whimsical music playing]
Come outside.
Why?
I have to pee.
[Alma] So go pee.
Come, please?
[urine trickling]
Oh, Alma.
Are you going poo-poo
when I said pee-pee?
[Alma] I'll kill you.
Don't make jokes right now.
You're taking too much time.
It's embarrassing standing here.
It looks suspicious.
Whoa!
[chuckles] What's that? It's overflowing.
Have you been drinking soda?
You'd better watch it with the jokes,
or I'll pour this all over you.
I don't think it's funny.
Not the accident and not the drugs,
when I asked you to stop all of this.
Didn't you hear what the doctor said?
Does it even matter to you?
Sure.
Yeah, I see how much it does.
That's why I'm here.
You get me here late at night
to piss in a bush.
What don't you get, Alma?
Do you want them to find out I was high?
You want to get me in trouble?
I can't believe what you're saying.
Let's give that doctor the pee-pee
as a holiday gift and get out of here.
Enough with the pee-pee,
I want to ask you,
didn't you even hear what he said,
or am I on my own?
Do you want to have a kid?
I don't know.
You could have a hidden agenda.
[laughs] Agenda.
Now you're really making me laugh.
Come on, Alma, that's enough.
Sorry, okay?
Let's talk about this at home?
Let's get out of here, huh?
Hey.
What?
Hot pee. [chuckles]
-Bye.
-What are you doing?
Alma!
Shit.
Hmm. Well, we have an X-ray.
[clears throat]
Anything broken?
-[doctor] Uh, hmm, no fractures.
-Hmm.
So, can you give me drugs
and check me out, then?
[doctor] No, actually,
I want to keep you here a little longer.
How come?
We saw something on the X-ray.
A shadow we should check.
What?
What do you mean, like a tumor?
Is there any history
of cancer in your family?
Yes.
Who was it, sir?
My father.
At what age?
Thirty-seven.
Young.
Yeah.
They diagnosed it way too late.
He only lasted a month.
Harari, right?
It's Mizrachi, right?
Oh, uh, Dad was Ashkenazi.
The name was changed.
Are you asking because
of that defective gene?
-Mm-hmm.
-The test for BRCA?
[doctor] Yes. Did you do it?
Yeah, I did.
My sister and I did.
Only I had the gene.
So
what spot did you see on my X-ray?
Listen, it's suspicious.
You know what?
It's lucky that an accident happened.
And it's lucky you're here.
We'll run a few tests.
We'll send them to the lab,
and let's hope everything's all right.
[muffled voices]
[woman] Honey, what's wrong?
Are you okay?
[boy] Did you fall, Daddy?
Did you get hurt bad?
It's nothing.
I think I'm a little faint is all.
-Did they run all of the tests?
-They gave me fluids.
Everything's okay, good as new.
[whispering]
Why would you bring them here?
What could I do?
They called and scared me.
It's all fine.
Everything's great, right, Nisso?
Everything's fine. I'm totally good.
Oh, Nisso.
-Uh, Dad.
-What?
Your hand is trembling again.
[ringtone playing]
[ringtone stops]
[phone ringing]
Weird, Rotem is calling me.
-Didn't you talk to her?
-I don't want to worry her.
[clicks tongue, sighs]
I don't feel like lying to her.
I hate lying.
-I don't know how to lie.
-[ringing continues]
Mr. Pinhas?
So, why do you think
we asked for a urine test?
Do you know why?
You smoked pot.
What?
Why would the test show
that I smoked pot?
I'll ask one more time.
Is the sample yours?
Of course.
Okay. You're all right.
You can go.
That's great.
So what's with all the drama
to say I'm fine?
-Who's disconnecting the IV?
-The nurse. She'll be right in.
Cool. Then let's go.
Nisso, take it off. Nisso too, right?
[doctor] Uh, no, not him.
Why not?
Ah
It's nonsense,
I'm sure I'll be out of here soon.
Go on.
All right, Doctor,
thank you for everything.
See you in better times.
Yes. Invite me to the bris, huh?
What?
Your urine sample
shows that you're pregnant.
Congratulations.
[Opus playing "Live is Life"]
Fantastic.
[laughs]
[music growing louder]
["Live Is Life" by Opus playing]
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live! ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
La ba dab dab dab life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
When we all get the power ♪
We all give the best ♪
Every minute of an hour ♪
Don't think about the rest ♪
Then you all get ♪
NISSO HARARI
and everyone gets everything ♪
And every song ♪
Everybody sings ♪
And it's life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
When we all feel the power ♪
Live is life ♪
Come on, stand up and dance! ♪
Live is life ♪
When the feeling of the people ♪
Live is life ♪
Is the feeling of the band ♪
Yeah! ♪
When we all get the power ♪
We all give the best ♪
Every minute of an hour ♪
Don't think about the rest ♪
Then you'll all get the power ♪
"The lion at my side, I shall not fear"
And everyone gave everything ♪
And every song everybody sings ♪
IMAGING AND RADIOLOGY
Live is life ♪
[cheering and applause]
[door clangs shut]
[quirky theme song playing]
INSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS
[gunfire]
Fucking asshole!
You okay back there, Nisso?
Open your eyes, Nisso!
-[tires squealing]
-Wake the fuck up!
[quirky theme song playing]
BROS
TEN DAYS EARLIER
[host] Hey, listeners,
welcome back to the second hour
of our sports program
here on Radio Jerusalem.
Wisła Kraków is in town,
Beitar Jerusalem's opponent has landed.
And they are on their way
to our capital from Ben Gurion Airport
[Nisso] Stop kicking that ball so high,
you could kill someone.
-Kill who? I've got sticky feet.
-[Nisso laughs]
Like Shalom Rokban as a kid.
-[radio in background]
-Why are you here?
It's so great.
We drew a normal team this time, huh?
Not like those killers from Lisbon.
Last time they kicked our asses.
Finally, we got an easy draw on this one.
[Nisso] Look.
I think this one works.
Here, look.
Huh? Okay, so why don't we use the fan?
It's gross.
So? It's for back here.
Besides, man, you're gross,
and we still use you at the bar.
[chuckles]
What's going on there?
Did he sell?
-[man on ledge] I don't know.
-[Nisso] That place is huge.
He could do great with it.
[radio in background]
What can he make?
This block might need,
I don't know, a yogurt guy?
[host] sold out, and that's a pity
for those that don't have tickets.
This one went quick.
If they win the first match at Teddy,
are we gonna go to the rematch?
Hey, hey, hey, don't jinx it.
Let's win it first.
-Shit.
-What?
What's wrong with you assholes?!
[chuckles] He shoots, he scores!
-Sorry, Barane.
-[Barane laughs drily]
Hey, Barane, where's my sandal?
[Barane] Go walk barefoot, douchebag.
Well, I'm not sure I'd let that one slide.
-Where'd you hide it, huh?
-[Barane laughs]
-Hey!
-Look at my guy here.
-[laughing]
-Get lost!
Let's say hi.
I'll start.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Don't worry,
I'll get it out of the street.
No, w-we're not inspectors.
Yes, I know,
you're from that bar, right? Piniones?
Frozen yogurt?
-Yogurt?
-Frozen yogurt stand?
No. We're opening one as well.
-"We" who?
-Why "as well"?
Us. Opening a bar.
"We" is our group.
You know the Iguana, Shakespeare?
Only from the name.
In a clothing store, you're opening a bar?
You shouldn't worry, though.
The concept is really different.
It's like
the dance clubs and bars in Amsterdam.
It's not a pub.
Our place is for dancing.
I see.
Uh Best of luck.
Uh-huh.
You know, I just hope the concept
of a dance club fits here in the city.
-It's not Amsterdam, huh?
-[chuckles] Yeah.
You're right, it's tough for sure.
That's our reputation, that we're nuts.
-[laughs]
-[soft chuckle]
-Have a nice day.
-Yeah.
[lively lounge music playing]
[music continues]
PINIONES KEBAB BAR
Business is good.
[man chuckles]
Nisso. Check out your partner
drinking from the tap like it's water.
Oh, man, right?
The bar belongs to him, guys.
Why do you give a damn?
Money down the drain with him.
You're gonna pour,
then get me one as well, extra fine, huh?
That's his problem,
he hates to see me having fun.
He always has to call me out.
Did you hear we're playing Poland?
I want to destroy them.
What is Wisła Kraków, anyway?
It's just the Polish team. Who cares?
Can you name just one Polish guy?
Those boys eat cabbage over there.
Och! That makes you gassy.
It's a good thing
we didn't draw the Vikings again.
Don't forget the Norwegians
who were calling them all amateurs.
Really? They humiliated us.
Maybe if we win the first game at Teddy,
Nisso and I are going to the rematch.
I'll come too. I'm there.
You'll be there too, right, Yaffit?
[deep voice] "I'll come too."
Like you can afford to fly to Poland.
Well, savings?
First I'd have to check with my mother.
Come on, let's wait until we win, okay?
Let's not jinx it.
So, another heart-to-heart
about Beitar again?
Get some customers in here.
I don't get it, Nisso.
Who's working for who in this place?
Right.
Hey, you mind your manners, girlie.
Oh, yeah?
Why is that? Could I get fired?
[Yaffit] You'd better not fire my cousin,
or I'll kick you where it hurts.
Where it hurts.
[laughs]
[car rattling]
Hey, what's the matter with you?
You've got the money,
so just get a new car.
It's not about money.
Loyalty is my reason.
Loyalty is more important.
Mazi gives me luck.
Ever since I've had her,
hamsa hamsa, I've had good luck.
You really think that if you
trade in Mazi, your luck will run out?
Yes. "Change your place,
change your luck." Huh?
It's about a place, not a car.
Right. But a car does, in fact,
take you from one place to another.
Uh-huh.
You got it all?
I brought four.
Is four enough?
Yes, of course four is enough.
It's not like we're going to war.
[car creaking]
I don't know.
The noise makes it sound
like we're going into battle.
Come on. All I can taste
in my mouth is fucking gasoline.
-So breathe through your nose.
-I can't. I can't.
There's gas vapors in the air.
I'm telling you, you have a leak.
Actually I do.
I've got to get it fixed.
For real?
Your car has been leaking gas,
we'll be stuck out there.
You think I'm that dumb?
I always have two gallons in my trunk.
[clicking lighter]
No, no, no, no, no. You shouldn't.
TEAM WISŁA KRAKÓW RESIDENCE,
HILTON JERUSALEM
What a piss!
I must have pissed a liter.
So?
Voilà. Huh?
No, it's not good.
-Why no good?
-Why at this angle?
-What?
-Just look.
It has to go like this, like this.
Like this.
-Straight at the hotel.
-What?
And light 'em up.
What? No, what?
Are you some Hezbollah militant?
What, no good?
No. You want to fire it up
in the sky, not in his room.
I don't mind if one finds his room.
You want to wake them up,
not murder them.
-So what, like this?
-Yes.
[pipe clangs]
-It's too high, isn't it?
-No, no.
It eventually comes down.
There. Right there.
-You have a light?
-Yes. Two each, right?
And stand back. I don't know
how much explosives are in there.
Okay?
Let's go.
-Wait.
-Ready?
-Yeah, motherfucker.
-Now.
-Yeah.
-Go, Beitar.
-Go, Beitar. Go, Beitar.
-Go.
-Gonna light 'em all.
-Wait, wait.
Motherfucker.
-There!
-Wait, but that one isn't
No, no, no, leave it, leave it, leave it.
[cheering]
-It works, God damn it, it's great!
-Wow!
Hey, Kraków! Wake up!
No one's gonna let you sleep!
-Ah-ha-ha!
-This stuff can wake the dead!
Oh! They'll be dead
on the field tomorrow, just dead!
Welcome to Jerusalem, you bastards!
[fireworks exploding]
[in Polish] Bombs?
[in Polish] Mom told me
not to come here it's a war zone.
Hey oh! Hey oh! Hey oh! Hey oh!
Hey oh! Hey oh! Hey oh!
-This fucking guy.
-Motherfuckers.
-Damn it, I'm going to light this fucker.
-Yeah.
That one isn't lighting.
Good thing I had four.
I'll light the fucking hell
out of it, now watch.
[Nisso] Well?
[Nisso clears throat]
-There.
-Back, back!
[friend chuckles]
-What the hell?
-Huh. Is it incense?
Son of a bitch.
[sighs]
It's fucked.
-Look here.
-How can you tell it's fucked?
-It's fucked.
-It should look like that, right?
No, are you nuts? Look, it's fucked.
It's fucked? How do you know it's fucked?
You can't see it like that.
Here, look like this.
Come from this angle.
Look inside.
-Well?
-Can't you see it's blocked?
-So?
-So
It has to be blocked. See?
It's a firework, not binoculars.
If it was hollow, what would explode?
So you're teaching physics now?
It's fucked. Let's go to the car
before the police come.
Oh, yeah, let's get back
to your piece of shit.
Shh! She could be listening.
Quiet, man.
Why would I care if she hears me?
You want to be cursed
and have my transmission die?
It's all right, dude,
it'll stop in a minute.
The fire is cold.
[shouting]
You jinxed me! Look what you did!
It's okay. Your insurance will pay.
Why? To be insured,
it costs more than Mazi.
Quit laughing, man.
This is all your fucking fault!
[laughing]
Stop it. She can hear you!
Stop laughing.
God's doing you a favor.
Get a new car already.
Two gallons in the trunk?
Oh
Oh, Mazi!
And you said I couldn't light a cigarette.
Get away from me.
Let's go before the cops come. Let's go.
Ahh
-Come on, let's go.
-Say goodbye?
Bye.
[laughing]
It's comparing Fiat with Ferrari.
Is he trying to drive me crazy?
Listen.
Look, a Ferrari can hit 120
in just 3.4 seconds.
Fiat, of course, uh, can reach 120
if it can run up its speed,
driving fast down a hill on a clear road.
Understand?
So I'm a Fiat?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You're not a Fiat, no.
You're a Mercedes, okay?
-Hmm.
-Hell yeah, Mercedes.
Obviously I'm a Mercedes.
It says I'm a Mercedes.
Uh, the lab said my count was fantastic,
so I don't understand.
Why are you on my case?
Hey, the amount is great.
I'm serious, absolutely fine.
But quality is very important.
If they swim fast or plod.
I'm from Jerusalem.
We're not so good in the water.
-Is there anything we can do?
-Of course.
Good lifestyle habits are helpful tools.
-Well, our lifestyle's great.
-Quiet.
What might affect this?
Not enough rest.
High alcohol consumption, smoking,
not to mention using drugs, right?
You know what I'm talking about.
No.
No?
No idea what he's talking about?
Excuse me, what do you do for work?
Uh a business owner.
What kind of business, huh?
Go ahead.
He asked, what are you?
What kind of business
do you have, anyway?
A chef? A fitness coach? Go ahead.
A bar.
So you do know what I'm talking about.
Think about it.
[electric drill whirring]
[furniture clatters]
-Huh?
-Ouch!
God damn that fucking chair.
-[chuckles]
-So, help me stand up.
Come on.
Are you hurt?
What the hell is that for?
Know what it's like to wake up
to that shit, like I was back in Lebanon?
What were you sneaking around for, babe?
I wanted to change that ugly lamp shade.
Should have waited till I woke up.
Yeah, but it was a surprise.
Look.
You did that?
It's IKEA.
You like it?
-What's wrong with the old one?
-It's bad?
-God
-Make me a cup too.
[sighing]
I just got up, it should be you.
Please? I need a coffee,
without foam, okay?
Whatever you say.
I get what you're trying to do
with that lamp shade, you know?
What?
You're marking your territory.
This is you pissing here.
Dealing with dummies,
you have to make a statement.
Wait, what?
I don't get it.
Listen, pal, no stress.
You know that
we're not living together right now,
and I am my family are Ben-Shitrit.
And why do you think
I sleep with my bat, huh?
Don't act all cute.
The bat can't save you now.
Why? What will you do?
Careful, you.
You've got a pretty face so far.
Then, baby, do your worst.
-Wait.
-What?
-The coffee. You know
-Oh.
There.
[chuckles]
-No, no, the cookies.
-Where?
There. Just a second.
Seriously? You're going this slow?
I'm doing 40 because
your pot's in the car.
"Your pot's in the car"?
Instead of saying,
"What a darling husband I have!"
"He stopped by his mother's
and brought sofrito,
fauleh with meat, kubbeh hamuth,"
but instead you lay on the guilt.
Yeah, it's uncomfortable, get it?
Every time we're invited to my parents,
your mother cooks the food for you.
What's wrong with that?
I'm bringing a taste of Jerusalem.
Well, I'm sure that has to be it,
not because you hate
all of my mom's food.
You really call that food, huh?
Oh, man, you're a jerk.
You should know
she's starting to get wise.
She's intelligent.
[both laugh]
You can go faster.
It's sofrito, not soup.
We'll never get there going 40.
Says the Fiat.
Not funny.
True.
You know it's on you now.
That's the first time I heard
the theory of a connection
between how fast they go
and the fact that I drink beer.
Please, you know what I'm talking about.
All those crazy hours, the alcohol.
You know, forget the beer, not beer.
The hash and the booze.
The pitas at midnight, at 3:00 a.m.
Usually it's two pitas.
You get one for Nisso,
but it doesn't reach him.
Wait a minute.
You started counting my pitas?
Come on, you know what I mean.
I'll do crunches.
It really is an antique.
Yep, 1984.
What, you remember the year?
Yeah.
That lamp is one of the last things
my dad got me before he died.
It was just a few months
before he passed away.
I'm a big jerk.
Hmm?
Oh, no, don't you worry about it.
That's okay, I'll exchange it
for some nice oven mitts.
[rooster crows]
So this is the vibe now?
Sour as vinegar?
No, not vinegar.
So why aren't we speaking, then?
[Alma] I'm speaking.
What can I do, Alma?
I don't know.
What? Should we ignore it?
You tell me.
I'll change things, Alma, I promise.
I'm not going to mix booze
and weed anymore, all right?
-Is that enough?
-Wait.
It could be time.
For what?
Bars are for young people.
Not for people who are thinking
about having a family.
Ah.
So you want me to get a job
for someone my age?
No, no, I'm not saying that.
Alma, I'm surprised. What?
I really have to explain the meaning
of Piniones, the institution?
We started the place with our bare hands.
Anybody who comes to Jerusalem
and hears "Piniones" knows the place.
Okay, Piniones can stay.
Oh, it can? Without me?
Piniones can stay.
I'll go to my buddy Nisso,
who made it a home, took me in,
rescued me, and then
gave me ten years of work.
Now I'll go to him and say,
"Listen, I want a family, screw you."
"Make it on your own."
Oh, come on.
Why do you have to be like that?
'Cause, 'cause, you're confusing things
that aren't related, Alma.
That has nothing to do
with what the doctor said.
You're right.
Fine, leave it.
So let's change the subject.
Can we talk about something else?
And I'm warning you
that better not be the topic
of conversation at dinner.
Fiat?
[laughing]
It's a great car, actually.
My Fiorino has never
even needed a mechanic.
Dad, that's just because
you do everything yourself.
You have the best hands, Hilik.
It's not complicated.
Even Yigal here can do it, right?
Right.
What's a car?
It only takes you from A
To B.
Fine. But we're not talking just cars.
We were talking about Alma's eggs.
First he has to reach her eggs.
I don't know if they
can even swim all that way.
-[gasps]
-[family laughing]
Would anyone like any sofrito
or some of Nisso's something?
Yeah, me.
Sweetie, what's wrong?
Why aren't you eating?
I don't really like Grandma's food, Mom.
Can I have what Pini brought?
Sure, sure. Give her some.
And then give it here.
Oh, sure.
-Yigal?
-Huh?
Did you eat the liver salad?
It's my specialty.
Uh, is that the sweet one?
Mm-hmm. I made it just for you.
-[chuckles] Thank you. Thanks.
-[grandmother laughs]
Nitza's a great cook, right?
Huh?
-[cow moos]
-[Yigal sniffs]
[Hilik clears throat]
[salesman] So, what are you looking for?
I don't need something too dramatic.
It should have a casual feel, but
it's a special occasion,
know what I mean?
What's special, then?
It's my first one.
You were single until now?
Yeah, that's right. Until I got caught.
-You took a while, huh?
-Yeah.
Garbage generation.
You only care about yourselves.
Meir, we're the same age.
What are you babbling on about?
So what? I've evolved.
You think you're better than me, huh?
No. You, man of the world? Please.
Well, drop it, okay.
She's a sweetheart, I'm sure of that.
If it's for her,
get her something romantic.
How about a blue heart?
[Meir] Nothing wrong with that.
I'll put the duplicate key on it.
And I'll put it in a nice box too, huh?
Box? Uh, some ring box?
No, she'll open it
and think it's some ring, and bam, key.
Ah, not any key.
Made at my shop and guaranteed.
Forget it. I'll put it in my pocket.
You can keep your box.
Here.
For real, inviting us
to drink on the house?
The invitation is mine.
-He just pours the drinks.
-[laughing]
His grandfather
poured drinks for the king.
It's true.
Here you go, girls.
Hope you know your way home.
I wouldn't trust them.
Ah, shit, it's Cruella de Vil.
[Pini] Fuck her.
It's your turn to deal with her.
Good luck.
Ah.
Your guests are too far over.
There's a line, right?
But, Yardena, it's 4 centimeters,
and your store's closed now.
But it's a big mess out front.
A lot of people walk by at night.
Well, yeah, but they've come to drink.
They're not your clients.
I told you already.
You really want to put
these tables out, then pay.
We talked about this.
All right.
Uh
Barane?
Barane, get this table
out of Yardena's way, okay?
He'll move it.
-Hey, cheers.
-L'chaim!
Cheers!
-Opa!
-[Middle Eastern jazz playing]
Let's go!
How does it come to this every night?
Shit-faced, you mean?
Oh, nice language.
What made you pick a guy like that?
What was it, huh?
You knew what you were getting into.
You worked here for three years.
You didn't understand who he was?
It bothers me that I always
have to be the bad guy.
And we talked about this.
Didn't he tell you what the doctor said?
No.
[laughing]
-[Alma] Let's go.
-Moving on. Where?
Come on,
I need to get up early in the a.m.
What's the problem?
You've got the summer off.
It's not September yet.
I said I was working for Mali
for a few days of summer school.
You don't listen when I talk?
You're gonna leave me with these animals?
No, you can't drive.
We're going together.
No, no, I won't drive myself, okay?
Nisso will drive me.
I'm not taking you anywhere.
I'm not your taxi driver.
-You killed Mazi, remember?
-He's just saying that.
Enough already.
You think I'm like one of your customers?
You're not leaving?
I can't. Alma. Look at this place.
I'm working here.
It's not fun.
How much did you drink?
This isn't my glass.
I'm just holding it.
How much did I drink?
Two.
-Two?
-[laughing]
Come on!
Nope, sorry.
No, I'm not sure. I lost count.
I'm very sorry, baby.
That's the last drink, I swear.
Tomorrow we start swimming lessons.
You watch him.
And don't smoke anymore, all right?
Just the drinks.
Oh, no, I don't smoke and drink.
Oh I'll drink water. Okay?
So I
So I dilute it.
Have you no shame? My God.
She's not even around the corner.
It's not for me, bro.
I can't stand weed. Here.
Who are you hiding it from?
Are you ashamed or something?
From Rotem. If she takes it,
she won't ever give it back to me.
Oh, please.
You know you love me.
The lamp shade not the greatest idea,
but you know what sounds good to me.
-[man] Rotem!
-Oh, hang on.
That tap on the beer is empty again.
-Hang on a second.
-No. Why wait? He has orders to fill.
Just go change the keg.
There is no keg. I put a new one in
at the start of the night.
Great. Well, it's empty.
'Cause Pini drank it all.
Yeah, right. So what, I say we're out?
No way, come on.
We never run out, do we?
Let's go.
Why are you letting him drive like that?
-Hey, hang on, you idiot.
-[engine revs]
God damn it.
You're not driving. Hang on.
God fucking guy.
Hey Go on, crank up the volume.
See you in ten minutes.
Wait a second! God damn it.
Wait for me!
[Pini] I'm here! I'm waiting for you!
Whoo!
[whimsical music playing]
[Nisso] You're crossing the line.
Look how you're driving.
Pull over and let me drive!
[Pini] It's all good, brother, relax.
It's all under control.
-So fat, it can't carry you.
-Slow down!
-Take a right here, already.
-Oh, a right?
-A right!
-Right, right!
Careful!
[Nisso] Watch out!
-Ugh!
-[bike clatters]
Yaaah! What the Pini!
-Nisso, look out! Watch out!
-[horn honking]
[screaming]
[horn blares]
Nisso!
What's that?
Nisso! Jump!
Jump where?
What does this look like?
Take my hand, take it!
Forget the hand!
You want to drag me along the concrete?!
-[screaming]
-[horn blaring]
Help! What's that?
[screams] Whoa!
Watch out, man, an intersection!
What? Wait, wait!
Where are you going? Wait!
Pini, what the hell?
Jump already!
[both screaming]
[car alarm blaring]
[siren wailing]
Nisso.
Nisso.
Nisso!
Is he gonna be okay?
Yeah.
So what's with his eyes
looking all fishlike?
[medic] He's in shock.
Nisso! Say something
so I know you can hear me.
He hears fine, he just
might not want to speak to you.
What the hell do you mean?
Ow! What the hell you doing?
Don't do that. He hit his head.
Okay.
Just needed to see
if my friend's still alive.
His eyes look dead, like a corpse.
-How are you?
-[groans]
How do I look?
Not bad. There's not a scratch on you.
Sure, sure.
Hey, don't move so much.
So why is he in my ambulance?
[medic] I don't know,
he said you're family.
Family? I don't even know him.
Oh. He could be badly hurt.
You remember the crash, Nisso?
You were driving and
and you slipped, lost control of it.
Then you tried braking,
but nothing worked?
Didn't work, huh? Was I driving?
Did you forget who was?
He's totally out of his mind.
You do remember your name, huh?
Nisso.
So shut up, you fuckhead.
Don't you ever talk to me again.
Closing already? It's early.
No, no, of course not.
You guys want to sit at the bar?
-Yeah, here's fine.
-Can we still get food?
Uh, the kitchen is closed,
but what would you like?
That's okay. Menu, please.
Here you go.
-Menus.
-Thanks so much.
[softly] They're here to spy on you.
Who?
That guy bought the Bukharian's club.
Kebabs.
I get it. We say the kitchen
is closed, and he wants a menu.
You want us to get them to leave?
I can take them, Yaffit.
Yeah, sure you can, Hercules.
You really think I need your help?
-I offered.
-It's okay.
Nisso and Pini will be back soon,
and they'll take care of it.
And take care of it they will.
Fuck them.
So have you got it all memorized?
-It's not that hard. It's pretty simple.
-Yeah.
We're simple.
Being simple isn't simple.
Let's go.
SHAARE ZEDEK HOSPITAL
[Nisso] Nothing is wrong with you.
Why did you admit yourself? Go home.
[Pini] We're self-employed, dude.
You might pick up
a few bucks from the state.
I just pray God takes you.
You're gonna pay for this.
You weave between
the cars like Bruce Willis.
[Pini laughs]
You're fine, sir.
I just need to get some urine.
Uh not sure what's going on, Doc.
[laughs] I have no pee-pee.
Yeah, poor guy.
He hasn't had a sip.
Hey!
-I'm going to kill you!
-Come on, I'm fine.
Here. Totally perfect. Look at me.
You drove it, right?
No. No way, babe. Nisso was.
Is that true, Nisso?
Oh, yeah.
Shh! Don't make a big deal.
Fine. I don't understand what happened.
The sidecar broke off of the bike.
Our balance was shot and and we fell.
Not a big deal, no drama.
God damn it.
Lucky it wasn't on a highway or a hill.
For sure.
[whimsical music playing]
Come outside.
Why?
I have to pee.
[Alma] So go pee.
Come, please?
[urine trickling]
Oh, Alma.
Are you going poo-poo
when I said pee-pee?
[Alma] I'll kill you.
Don't make jokes right now.
You're taking too much time.
It's embarrassing standing here.
It looks suspicious.
Whoa!
[chuckles] What's that? It's overflowing.
Have you been drinking soda?
You'd better watch it with the jokes,
or I'll pour this all over you.
I don't think it's funny.
Not the accident and not the drugs,
when I asked you to stop all of this.
Didn't you hear what the doctor said?
Does it even matter to you?
Sure.
Yeah, I see how much it does.
That's why I'm here.
You get me here late at night
to piss in a bush.
What don't you get, Alma?
Do you want them to find out I was high?
You want to get me in trouble?
I can't believe what you're saying.
Let's give that doctor the pee-pee
as a holiday gift and get out of here.
Enough with the pee-pee,
I want to ask you,
didn't you even hear what he said,
or am I on my own?
Do you want to have a kid?
I don't know.
You could have a hidden agenda.
[laughs] Agenda.
Now you're really making me laugh.
Come on, Alma, that's enough.
Sorry, okay?
Let's talk about this at home?
Let's get out of here, huh?
Hey.
What?
Hot pee. [chuckles]
-Bye.
-What are you doing?
Alma!
Shit.
Hmm. Well, we have an X-ray.
[clears throat]
Anything broken?
-[doctor] Uh, hmm, no fractures.
-Hmm.
So, can you give me drugs
and check me out, then?
[doctor] No, actually,
I want to keep you here a little longer.
How come?
We saw something on the X-ray.
A shadow we should check.
What?
What do you mean, like a tumor?
Is there any history
of cancer in your family?
Yes.
Who was it, sir?
My father.
At what age?
Thirty-seven.
Young.
Yeah.
They diagnosed it way too late.
He only lasted a month.
Harari, right?
It's Mizrachi, right?
Oh, uh, Dad was Ashkenazi.
The name was changed.
Are you asking because
of that defective gene?
-Mm-hmm.
-The test for BRCA?
[doctor] Yes. Did you do it?
Yeah, I did.
My sister and I did.
Only I had the gene.
So
what spot did you see on my X-ray?
Listen, it's suspicious.
You know what?
It's lucky that an accident happened.
And it's lucky you're here.
We'll run a few tests.
We'll send them to the lab,
and let's hope everything's all right.
[muffled voices]
[woman] Honey, what's wrong?
Are you okay?
[boy] Did you fall, Daddy?
Did you get hurt bad?
It's nothing.
I think I'm a little faint is all.
-Did they run all of the tests?
-They gave me fluids.
Everything's okay, good as new.
[whispering]
Why would you bring them here?
What could I do?
They called and scared me.
It's all fine.
Everything's great, right, Nisso?
Everything's fine. I'm totally good.
Oh, Nisso.
-Uh, Dad.
-What?
Your hand is trembling again.
[ringtone playing]
[ringtone stops]
[phone ringing]
Weird, Rotem is calling me.
-Didn't you talk to her?
-I don't want to worry her.
[clicks tongue, sighs]
I don't feel like lying to her.
I hate lying.
-I don't know how to lie.
-[ringing continues]
Mr. Pinhas?
So, why do you think
we asked for a urine test?
Do you know why?
You smoked pot.
What?
Why would the test show
that I smoked pot?
I'll ask one more time.
Is the sample yours?
Of course.
Okay. You're all right.
You can go.
That's great.
So what's with all the drama
to say I'm fine?
-Who's disconnecting the IV?
-The nurse. She'll be right in.
Cool. Then let's go.
Nisso, take it off. Nisso too, right?
[doctor] Uh, no, not him.
Why not?
Ah
It's nonsense,
I'm sure I'll be out of here soon.
Go on.
All right, Doctor,
thank you for everything.
See you in better times.
Yes. Invite me to the bris, huh?
What?
Your urine sample
shows that you're pregnant.
Congratulations.
[Opus playing "Live is Life"]
Fantastic.
[laughs]
[music growing louder]
["Live Is Life" by Opus playing]
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live! ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
La ba dab dab dab life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
When we all get the power ♪
We all give the best ♪
Every minute of an hour ♪
Don't think about the rest ♪
Then you all get ♪
NISSO HARARI
and everyone gets everything ♪
And every song ♪
Everybody sings ♪
And it's life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Life ♪
Na, na, na, na-na ♪
Live is life ♪
When we all feel the power ♪
Live is life ♪
Come on, stand up and dance! ♪
Live is life ♪
When the feeling of the people ♪
Live is life ♪
Is the feeling of the band ♪
Yeah! ♪
When we all get the power ♪
We all give the best ♪
Every minute of an hour ♪
Don't think about the rest ♪
Then you'll all get the power ♪
"The lion at my side, I shall not fear"
And everyone gave everything ♪
And every song everybody sings ♪
IMAGING AND RADIOLOGY
Live is life ♪
[cheering and applause]
[door clangs shut]
[quirky theme song playing]