Crookhaven (2026) s01e01 Episode Script
Word to the Wise
So, here's the first thing
you should know about me -
I never stole from just anyone.
I had rules.
Rule number one,
they had to be rich.
Like they could spare a few quid.
Rule number two,
they had to be alone.
No witnesses.
Oh, and definitely no-one
with kids.
Normally I wouldn't have picked
an old man, to be honest,
but what can I say?
We were hungry
and he was the perfect mark.
Posh, alone, distracted.
Oh! Sorry, sir.
I should look where I'm going.
Let me help you.
Oh, I think not.
My bad.
It was too easy.
I guess I should've known.
Look, I know coppers have
a dodgy rep these days,
but you seem like one
of the good ones,
so I was thinking we could just
all call this an honest mistake.
I'm arresting you for theft.
You do not have to say anything
Wait!
There is actually one
tiny little thing
that I would like to say.
Oi!
Get back here!
Oi, get back here!
Stop right there!
INAUDIBLE
I can't believe
you won 40 this time.
Honestly, you and scratchcards.
What's your secret?
I guess I was just born lucky.
Someday soon we're going
to eat like this every night.
Not every night. Think of me hips!
And we're going to live
in a caravan by the sea.
You won't have to clean for those
stupid Merciers.
I'm going to give you
the life you deserve.
I swear.
What are you up to?
It's us against the world,
right, Grandma?
Always.
What is it, love?
It's my coin. My lucky coin. Oh.
We can retrace our steps.
No, it'll turn up.
TRAIN RUMBLES
Where am I?
Look around, bro!
Literally nothing here.
Just, like, woods.
Well, don't blame me.
They said get off at Moorheart.
Look, this is Moorheart.
Right. Nice job, bro. Now we're
stranded in an actual wasteland.
Well, given the tactical
choice between this
and police custody,
I just thought
What?
Who are you?
Could ask you
that exact same question.
Where are you going? We're in
the middle of a conversation here.
Rude.
Just out of interest, you weren't
told to, like, board a train
by, say, a cryptic message
on your computer?
Word To The Wise.
And when you got that message,
you weren't hypothetically
maybe engaged in something
ethicallychallenging?
What if I was?
Look, man, it sounds like we're both
brung here by the same evil genius,
so don't it kind of make sense
to share what we know?
All I know is whoever this is,
I need to take back what they stole.
Didn't stole nothing from us.
And do whatever it takes to
stop them grassing me up.
Otherwise my life is basically over.
INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER
This was aa b-bad idea.
A bunch of kids walk
through the woods?
That's literally the plot
of every horror movie ever made.
Hey, mystery man, how do you even
know you're going the right way?
He doesn't.
He's about 45 degrees off course.
Look, I saw a glitch on the GPS.
It's like the whole area
just deleted from the map.
That's where we're heading, no?
You're hackers?
Wh-What makes you say that?
Jig's up, bro. Might as well fess.
Yep. We are actually
the Brothers Crim.
I'm Ade, he's Ede.
The Brothers Crim?
The hacking legends?
No?
ADE CLEARS THROA
And you are?
Signal's just gone.
Someone blocked it. Look.
The screen's just died.
BRANCH CRACKS
Th-This whole thing's a trap.
That phone is not going to be
the only thing that's dead soon.
W-We're lost
BIRDS SCATTER
..in the middle of a wood.
No way of calling for help.
No-one even knows we're here.
Except
..them.
Wh-Whoever them even is.
BIRD SHRIEKS
It's a maze.
This whole wood's a maze.
Yeah, right. Totes amaze.
It's not a trap.
It's a test.
Come on. I know where to go.
Whoo!
Level one complete! Power up.
Sorry, how exactly did you do that?
A lucky guess.
Weird place to put a statue.
Ezekiel Lockett, 1781 to 1857.
GABRIEL RATTLES DOOR
What's up with Ezekiel?
Bit of help here?
CAMERA BEEPS, CLICKS
Want to hear a joke?
How many kids does it take
to open a door?
One to pick the lock
and the other three
to stand around like morons.
You're the one that brought us here?
Clearly not, dude.
I'm in the same kayak as you.
Word To The Wise.
Followed you since the station.
12.3 miles.
We were being followed!
I knew it.
Why not show your face till now?
I assumed this was a trap
and that you would all die horribly.
Nope.
It's a decoy.
The real lock must be hidden.
The metal bloke.
Why is he pointing at the wall?
Not as dumb as you look.
Oh, duh! Totally different colour.
MECHANISM CLICKING
Watch and learn, suckers.
Hey!
I'm awake! I'm awake! I'm aw
Oh
Head rush.
Hang on.
Four of yous?
Together already?
I wasn't expecting you for hours.
Right, then, give us a hand,
would you?
Yeah, right. W-We'll just get on
some random boat!
With a weird-looking stranger.
Maybe start with who you are
and why we're here.
First one's easy.
I'm Mickey, but I'm not at liberty
to tell you the rest.
Just supposed to ferry folk
to the island.
What's on the island?
Your future.
But where we were going
wasn't just our future.
We were heading for
a whole new world
a million miles
from the one we knew.
A world I'd never have believed
even existed
..till I saw it
with my own two eyes.
Welcome to Crookhaven!
Right, you lot, kindly surrender
all electric devices.
Be like cutting my arm off.
Really? That can be arranged, son.
DEVICE BEEPS
Give me it.
Dude, it's a camera.
I'm not going to make
any calls on it!
Right, look lively.
Come along, keep it moving!
Let's go!
Looks like some
kind of swanky mansion!
But why did boat guy say
it's our future?
Guessing it's not a luxury hotel.
No-one else getting
major prison vibes?
Now I am.
Right, out.
Horace, get this on charge.
Yes, sir.
Let the gaffer know
we have all four of his guests
VOICE FADES
Copy.
Don't just stand about
catching flies.
Come on, in you trot.
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Don't touch it.
Look what just crawled in.
Merits.
Got to be.
They reek of it.
We should make 'em feel at home.
Hmm.
"The motive governs the means."
Yeah, that's our, um
It's our credo.
Sorry, thisthis must all seem
very confusing.
Overwhelming, even.
Mm, mm-hm.
But come, we'll explain everything.
So, this is a school.
Crookhaven's not just a school.
It's the world's oldest academy
for crooks, and the most exclusive.
Mm-hm.
In theory.
TANNOY: All Crooklings must register
within five minutes
or we'll assume
you're a hostile interloper.
How does this make sense?
I mean, they get us here by
threatening to grass us to the cops
and then they want to teach us
to be criminals?
Not criminals.
Crooks.
That's the whole point.
We only use our skills to do right.
How do I put this in a way that
even a Merit can understand?
Um, criminals - baddies. Mm-hm.
Us - goodies.
What's a Merit?
EDGAR SCOFFS
Well, it
WHISPER: Thank you, Edgar.
We'll take it from here.
My pleasure, Whisper.
Uh, Miss Jericho.
Always happy to help.
See you later.
TANNOY: All Deception classes
are cancelled.
With me. This way.
Hold on. Wait a sec.
Did he call you Whisper?
Like Whisper Whisper?
We got hacked by a Whisper.
Ain't no other.
For my sins,
I teach Cyber Intrusion.
I teach Infiltration.
Sorry, just to be clear,
so you use your skills to do right?
Does that mean you work for,
like, the Government?
It's a complex symbiosis.
Officially, we don't exist.
Unofficially, we've been vital
to global security
for almost 200 years.
Come.
Whoa!
Have we just entered
the fifth dimension?
From twins to octuplets, bro!
More like quintillion-lets!
Bad enough seeing you
guys in one mirror.
This is my own personal hell.
What is this?
We call it the Specularium.
It's a short cut
and an escape route,
and a vital training course
to hone your spatial orientation.
An elite crook needs
all six senses to be on point.
Why do you need an escape route?
Why wouldn't we?
I still don't get why we're here.
Why us?
The Crooked Complex keeps constant
lookout for fresh blood.
The four of you were hand-picked
out of thousands for your skills.
Crucially, you guys only ever
steal for the right reasons.
This way.
Time to meet the big guy.
My apologies. I had hoped
to welcome you in person,
but you completed your tasks
far sooner than expected.
Caspian Lockett,
your new headmaster.
And of course,
I know fine well who you are.
Ade and Ede Okoro,
Jia Ou,
and Gabriel Avery.
May I introduce Mr Khan,
our head of Deception.
It was you - the posh bloke.
And you, you weren't even a copper.
That was quite the getaway.
The past 24 hours has been a test.
Happily, you passed.
Here you all are.
TANNOY: Whisper and Miss Jericho
to the armoury, please.
You let me think
I was going to jail.
That was the idea.
You stole from me.
"You stole from me, sir."
You set all that up -
the disguise, the fake cop
..for me?
We'd have done whatever it took.
Just one thing, Mr Lockett, sir.
We sincerely appreciate the offer,
but our parents aren't
exactly going to be down
with the idea of us
coming to a school forcrims.
Not crims, gentlemen. Crooks.
Naturally, you will stay undercover
for the rest of your lives.
You can't ask us to do that.
For them to learn the truth
could be lethal.
We have some very dangerous enemies.
You're concerned
about your grandmother.
Don't be. We've spoken.
You've done what?
Same goes for all of you.
What did you tell her?
As far as they're concerned,
you're sitting an exam
for St Jude's Academy right now.
Should you accept, you'll tell them
you've been offered a full
scholarship, starting at once.
Take tonight,
consider carefully.
Yeah, I don't need time to consider.
There's no way
I can leave my grandma.
That's not going to happen.
I'll just take my coin and go.
Thanks all the same.
You disappoint me, Mr Avery.
But I'm afraid you can't leave now.
The woods are far from safe
after dark.
First thing tomorrow.
Unless you change your mind.
Yeah, I won't.
I can't.
Sir.
TANNOY: Reminder to students in the
mess, please recycle all packaging
and return stolen cutlery
to the kitchen.
Silverware is not
for Skulduggery practice.
I know that look.
I was you once.
But trust me, it'sit's mad
how soon it feels like home.
Thanks, but I have a home.
That's Penelope,
the ultimate Legacy.
Legacy?
Yeah. You and I, amigo,
we're Merits.
We're here for one reason
and one reason only -
because we're fire.
Keep telling yourself that, Leon.
But most crooks, like Isabella here,
are Legacies.
Our parents or our grandparents
were here.
Some of us go back generations.
Seven
..in my case.
We met earlier. Edgar Delacombe.
This is
Dorian McCarthur. Only third gen.
And, um, you are?
Gabriel Avery.
A Merit.
Good for you. Look forward
to seeing what you can do in class.
Well, I hate
to disappoint you, Edgar,
but I won't be sticking around.
Sorry, but you've been offered
a place at Crookhaven
and you're going to turn it down
so you can, what,
go back to shoplifting?
THEY CHUCKLE
Stealing bikes?
That's a good one!
All right, Dorian.
It wasn't a joke.
Thanks.
Now that I've met you,
I know I've made the right decision.
See, they just walk straight in.
Handed to 'em on a stolen platter.
Big bunch of nepo babies.
That's fundamentally inequitable.
Bro, we're still a part of this.
We get to study Cyber Intrusion
and Deception and Skulduggery!
And at the end of it, we get to be
a part of a secret network
that's going to make us rich!
You mean help defeat criminals
and restore justice.
Yeah, and that too, obviously.
None of you guys bothered
by the whole
lying to your families
forever thing?
Your grandma know you steal?
Yeah, you're joking.
So what's the difference?
Well, that's a little white lie,
and this
I mean, this would be
a whole secret life.
Ain't no way I'm taking top bunk!
You know I hate heights!
Not like I do! Which one of us
fainted on the Eiffel Tower, bro?
Only cos you hadn't eaten in,
like, an hour.
That doesn't count!
Gabriel, settle this, will you?
Fine.
Heads or tails?
Sir.
Lockett's stolen it again!
What is it?
My coin! Why am I the only one
he keeps robbing?
Hold the phone.
You're saying the thing you
came all this way for,
risked your life for
..was a coin?
Not just any coin.
Why are you spying on me, Avery?
No, I wasn't spying. I was
What?
Looking for
Who?
Lockett.
Why?
Cos he's a thieving con artist.
Show some respect.
That's your headmaster.
Not actually, cos I'm not staying.
So to me he's just some stuck up
guy in an itchy suit
who likes playing mind games
with kids.
It's pretty messed up
when you think about it.
You're talking about the greatest
crook of his generation.
Hmm, big whoop. Happy for him.
Do you have any idea
how lucky you are to be here?
And you're just going to
throw it away.
It's so ungrateful.
So ignorant.
What did they even see in you?
Not bad, to be fair.
But there's something off.
I just can't quite put my
Thanks, but I don't need a critique
from someone like you.
Word of warning, don't go marching
up to Lockett's office.
It won't end well for you.
Thanks, but I don't need advice
from someone like you.
It's the eyes. They're, um
..greener in that one.
Evening, Mr Avery.
What do you want with me?
The first time was to get you here,
the second time to keep you here.
I already told you, I can't.
How is stealing my coin
going to change that?
By showing how much you
have to learn.
I know all I need to.
You're a blunt instrument.
You didn't pause to consider
why I had taken your coin
or the smartest way to retrieve it.
You just went stomping blindly
through the school
like a man possessed,
telegraphing your weakness.
What weakness?
You see everyone as a threat.
You're a dodgy posh bloke
who likes blackmailing kids.
You are a threat.
Coin, please, sir.
I'm not here
to threaten you, Gabriel.
I'm here to save you.
Save me from what?
I can't bear to see talent
go to waste.
It would be a tragedy
for you to spend
the rest of your life
as a petty criminal.
Oh, what, when I could come here
and be a professional criminal?
Not a criminal, Avery. A crook.
They steal, we restore.
They destroy, we repair.
We'll give you the skills to beat
criminals at their own game.
Right now, you're good.
With our help, you could be great.
Or you could go back
to being a nobody.
You don't know what my life is.
On the contrary,
I know everything about you,
right down to how much vinegar
you like on your chips.
Far too much, in my opinion.
I know you have a deep sense
of right and wrong
and I know that you long to save
your grandmother
from those despicable Merciers.
But tell me this,
how many pockets would you have to
pick to buy that caravan by the sea?
How much help would you
be in a young offender's institute?
Because the next time you're
arrested, it won't be Mr Khan.
My coin.
Now!
Please.
Well, I see I'm not going
to change your mind. Um
Perhaps you should call her.
She'll be worried.
Goodbyesir.
Why didn't you mention
this St Jude's place?
It all happened so fast,
I didn't have time to explain.
Well, now you don't have to.
Mr Lockett came to see me.
Told me everything.
How he persuaded the police
not to press charges,
how he runs a school that turns
kids' lives around.
No, that's not true.
Oh, enough, Gabriel.
No more lies.
I found the box in your cupboard.
800 quid of stolen money.
And to think that I fell for all
that stuff about scratchcards.
You must think I'm so stupid.
No. No, I just wanted to help.
Help? This could ruin everything.
Grandma, listen.
No. You listen.
You're the one good thing
that's happened to me.
The last thing I want is to see you
going to some boarding school,
but they offer you a place,
then you take it,
for your future's sake.
And what about your future?
CALL CUTS OFF
TANNOY: Today's Crooked value
is cheating.
Remember, cheat,
but never cheat your friends.
Gabriel, wait up.
You are serious, then,
about leaving?
I thought maybe it was a bluff
for Edgar's benefit.
I promised my grandmother
I'd never steal again.
She begged me to stay here.
But staying here means
learning to steal, lying to her.
This is Crookhaven, amigo.
Nothing's as simple
as right or wrong.
Here we go. See?
Water's not so frightening, huh?
There you go, Amira.
Back on solid ground.
Best of luck now.
You keep that chin up.
Come on. It's time to watch the baby
Crooklings embarrass themselves.
What does she mean?
Oh, the Crooked Oak. Trust me,
you don't want to miss this.
You can get the boat later
if you still want to leave.
I thought you weren't
sticking around.
Haven't made up my mind.
Well, you'd better decide soon,
cos once your arrow hits the oak,
there's no going back.
For what it's worth,
I really hope you stay.
Reverse psychology, right?
Edgar, look. Look. Isn't that?
Amira Dhawan.
When did she arrive?
Never thought she had the nerve
to show her face.
Her brother is a traitor.
Shocking.
Crooklings, my name is Mr Velasquez.
It's my honour
to teach Skullduggery.
You stand where I once stood
at the start of a long
and crooked path.
Once you become Crooklings,
you will be bound
by our sacred values.
Steal, but not from those in need.
Cheat, but never cheat your friends.
Lie, but never to yourself.
From this moment, you are all in
competition for this -
the Crooked Cup.
A chance to have your name engraved
beside the greatest crooks
in history.
CHEERING
For a young crook,
there is no higher honour,
no greater way to announce yourself
as a talent to be reckoned with.
Every Delacombe's won it since 1910.
Dad's had me practising five years
for this. I won't let him down.
It's yours to lose, Edgar.
Last holidays, I helped put some
bad people away.
Never known a feeling like it.
To this day, each new Crookling
accepts their place
by firing a silver-tipped arrow
with your name inscribed upon it.
How are we supposed to bust out
some mad archery skills?!
The motive
governs the means, Gabriel.
It's not about
It's not about what you do.
It's about why.
And whoever comes closest to hitting
Ezekiel's original arrowhead
will win themselves
five Crooked points.
But because we are a soft touch,
we will allow you the best of two.
So, Crooklings,
step forward and collect your arrow.
Good luck.
May your aim be true.
I want you to know your name
is poison
and your presence is an insult.
I'm guessing you're Edgar Delacombe.
They warned me about you.
They were right to.
Made a decision yet?
Guess.
LAUGHTER
MISS JERICHO: Oh, dear.
Wrong tree, Mr Okoro.
After that shockingly poor start,
let's hope the next
two Crooklings fare better.
Hey! A-At least we hit a tree!
Our next two Crooklings are, um
..Penelope Lockett
Yes, Penelope! Come on, Penelope!
Lockett? As in?
As in the headmaster's daughter.
..and Gabriel Avery.
So, we have a Merit versus a Legacy.
I thought we agreed.
Raw talent needs nurturing, Diego.
This is the best place for him.
Let's be honest,
it's you against me.
A Merit doesn't stand a chance.
Neither do you, Edgar.
Please, step forward.
Ever held a bow before?
How hard can it be?
Make me proud.
When have I not?
APPLAUSE
Whoa! Nice, Penelope!
Penelope, please retrieve
your arrow.
She's good.
I'm better.
LAUGHTER
WHOOPING
LAUGHTER
How hard can it be?
Our next two Crooklings are
..Edgar Delacombe and Jia Ou.
Shall I show you how to hold it?
No, I'll figure it out.
I'm Chinese, doofus.
Archery's in my DNA.
Brava, Jia!
A remarkable first shot,
especially for a Merit.
A little wide.
That's the breeze. I'll recalibrate.
You can't get beat by a Merit!
Come on, Edgar!
Come on, Edgar!
Woo!
VOICE ECHOES: You can't get beat
by a Merit!
SHE YELPS
What the hell, Dhawan?!
You were aiming right at her!
I-I was lining up the target!
You made me shoot
when you barged into me!
Y-You'd never shoot
someone on purpose!
I guess the rumours about you
are true. You are no Legacy.
Arrow! Bring me Jia's arrow.
Stay where you are.
Move. Move!
JIA BREATHES RAGGEDLY
OK, look at me.
Look at me, look at me.
You OK?
You OK? I'm OK, I'm fine. You sure?
Good girl. Here.
I'm afraid after that
unedifying spectacle,
Amira has forfeited her turn.
Interfering with another Crookling's
shot is strictly forbidden.
I mean, you can't be serious.
Delacombe's the one
who should be disqualified.
He tried to shoot Jia.
Amira's the one who saved her.
Hey, don't be a bad sport, Gabriel,
just cos your arrow barely
hit the tree.
It was an accident.
Dhawan knocked into me.
SHE BREATHES RAGGEDLY
CROWD MURMUR
Go on, Edgar!
Yes!
Great shot, Edgar!
I believe our winner
is Edgar Delacombe.
I wouldn't be so sure.
Meaning?
Did you check the name on the arrow
before you fired it?
Mr Lockett, sir, y-you can't
The name on the arrow is
..Gabriel Avery.
ALL GASP
I want you to know your name
is poison
and your presence is an insult.
I'm guessing you're Edgar Delacombe.
They warned me about you.
Headmaster.
The rules state
the arrow closest to the mark wins.
This arrow has
Gabriel Avery's name on it.
MURMURS AND APPLAUSE
Don't be a bad sport, Edgar,
just cos your arrow
barely hit the tree.
That's not fair! He's making
a mockery out of the Crooked Oak.
How can you let him do this?
He beat you. Deal with it.
Oh, I'll deal with it.
So, you're staying?
Looks that way.
And all it took was me
almost getting shot.
TANNOY: Goodnight, Crookhaven.
Sweet dreams.
DISTORTED VOICE: Another year
begins, Caspian.
Another class of eager young
Crooklings for you to brainwash.
But a word to the wise
There's a storm coming.
A storm you can't escape.
And you only have yourself to blame.
So that's how it all began.
I picked his pocket, he picked mine.
I went to get my lucky coin back
and next thing I knew
I was a Crookling.
New tie, new jacket, new life.
It felt like maybe my lucky coin had
finally brought me some real luck.
Except of course it wasn't luck
that brought me here, was it?
It was Caspian Lockett.
And when your headmaster and
everyone in your school is a crook,
the first lesson you learn
..trust no-one.
What has Caspian started?
You're not one of us.
You don't belong here.
I have to utterly humiliate him.
I'm not here to make friends.
I'm here to win.
Game on.
There's a storm coming.
The Nameless.
What's the Nameless?
An enemy that hates everything
Crookhaven stands for.
You put the entire
Crooked network in danger!
ALARM BLARES
Gabriel, get out!
They already have our blood
on their hands,
and they'll burn this place
to the ground.
Listen up losers, we need your help.
Crooklings assemble!
Leaving so soon?
I thought I was here
because I was good!
This is Crookhaven.
Everyone's hiding something.
SHE SCREAMS
We're crooks. Honesty's overrated.
you should know about me -
I never stole from just anyone.
I had rules.
Rule number one,
they had to be rich.
Like they could spare a few quid.
Rule number two,
they had to be alone.
No witnesses.
Oh, and definitely no-one
with kids.
Normally I wouldn't have picked
an old man, to be honest,
but what can I say?
We were hungry
and he was the perfect mark.
Posh, alone, distracted.
Oh! Sorry, sir.
I should look where I'm going.
Let me help you.
Oh, I think not.
My bad.
It was too easy.
I guess I should've known.
Look, I know coppers have
a dodgy rep these days,
but you seem like one
of the good ones,
so I was thinking we could just
all call this an honest mistake.
I'm arresting you for theft.
You do not have to say anything
Wait!
There is actually one
tiny little thing
that I would like to say.
Oi!
Get back here!
Oi, get back here!
Stop right there!
INAUDIBLE
I can't believe
you won 40 this time.
Honestly, you and scratchcards.
What's your secret?
I guess I was just born lucky.
Someday soon we're going
to eat like this every night.
Not every night. Think of me hips!
And we're going to live
in a caravan by the sea.
You won't have to clean for those
stupid Merciers.
I'm going to give you
the life you deserve.
I swear.
What are you up to?
It's us against the world,
right, Grandma?
Always.
What is it, love?
It's my coin. My lucky coin. Oh.
We can retrace our steps.
No, it'll turn up.
TRAIN RUMBLES
Where am I?
Look around, bro!
Literally nothing here.
Just, like, woods.
Well, don't blame me.
They said get off at Moorheart.
Look, this is Moorheart.
Right. Nice job, bro. Now we're
stranded in an actual wasteland.
Well, given the tactical
choice between this
and police custody,
I just thought
What?
Who are you?
Could ask you
that exact same question.
Where are you going? We're in
the middle of a conversation here.
Rude.
Just out of interest, you weren't
told to, like, board a train
by, say, a cryptic message
on your computer?
Word To The Wise.
And when you got that message,
you weren't hypothetically
maybe engaged in something
ethicallychallenging?
What if I was?
Look, man, it sounds like we're both
brung here by the same evil genius,
so don't it kind of make sense
to share what we know?
All I know is whoever this is,
I need to take back what they stole.
Didn't stole nothing from us.
And do whatever it takes to
stop them grassing me up.
Otherwise my life is basically over.
INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER
This was aa b-bad idea.
A bunch of kids walk
through the woods?
That's literally the plot
of every horror movie ever made.
Hey, mystery man, how do you even
know you're going the right way?
He doesn't.
He's about 45 degrees off course.
Look, I saw a glitch on the GPS.
It's like the whole area
just deleted from the map.
That's where we're heading, no?
You're hackers?
Wh-What makes you say that?
Jig's up, bro. Might as well fess.
Yep. We are actually
the Brothers Crim.
I'm Ade, he's Ede.
The Brothers Crim?
The hacking legends?
No?
ADE CLEARS THROA
And you are?
Signal's just gone.
Someone blocked it. Look.
The screen's just died.
BRANCH CRACKS
Th-This whole thing's a trap.
That phone is not going to be
the only thing that's dead soon.
W-We're lost
BIRDS SCATTER
..in the middle of a wood.
No way of calling for help.
No-one even knows we're here.
Except
..them.
Wh-Whoever them even is.
BIRD SHRIEKS
It's a maze.
This whole wood's a maze.
Yeah, right. Totes amaze.
It's not a trap.
It's a test.
Come on. I know where to go.
Whoo!
Level one complete! Power up.
Sorry, how exactly did you do that?
A lucky guess.
Weird place to put a statue.
Ezekiel Lockett, 1781 to 1857.
GABRIEL RATTLES DOOR
What's up with Ezekiel?
Bit of help here?
CAMERA BEEPS, CLICKS
Want to hear a joke?
How many kids does it take
to open a door?
One to pick the lock
and the other three
to stand around like morons.
You're the one that brought us here?
Clearly not, dude.
I'm in the same kayak as you.
Word To The Wise.
Followed you since the station.
12.3 miles.
We were being followed!
I knew it.
Why not show your face till now?
I assumed this was a trap
and that you would all die horribly.
Nope.
It's a decoy.
The real lock must be hidden.
The metal bloke.
Why is he pointing at the wall?
Not as dumb as you look.
Oh, duh! Totally different colour.
MECHANISM CLICKING
Watch and learn, suckers.
Hey!
I'm awake! I'm awake! I'm aw
Oh
Head rush.
Hang on.
Four of yous?
Together already?
I wasn't expecting you for hours.
Right, then, give us a hand,
would you?
Yeah, right. W-We'll just get on
some random boat!
With a weird-looking stranger.
Maybe start with who you are
and why we're here.
First one's easy.
I'm Mickey, but I'm not at liberty
to tell you the rest.
Just supposed to ferry folk
to the island.
What's on the island?
Your future.
But where we were going
wasn't just our future.
We were heading for
a whole new world
a million miles
from the one we knew.
A world I'd never have believed
even existed
..till I saw it
with my own two eyes.
Welcome to Crookhaven!
Right, you lot, kindly surrender
all electric devices.
Be like cutting my arm off.
Really? That can be arranged, son.
DEVICE BEEPS
Give me it.
Dude, it's a camera.
I'm not going to make
any calls on it!
Right, look lively.
Come along, keep it moving!
Let's go!
Looks like some
kind of swanky mansion!
But why did boat guy say
it's our future?
Guessing it's not a luxury hotel.
No-one else getting
major prison vibes?
Now I am.
Right, out.
Horace, get this on charge.
Yes, sir.
Let the gaffer know
we have all four of his guests
VOICE FADES
Copy.
Don't just stand about
catching flies.
Come on, in you trot.
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Don't touch it.
Look what just crawled in.
Merits.
Got to be.
They reek of it.
We should make 'em feel at home.
Hmm.
"The motive governs the means."
Yeah, that's our, um
It's our credo.
Sorry, thisthis must all seem
very confusing.
Overwhelming, even.
Mm, mm-hm.
But come, we'll explain everything.
So, this is a school.
Crookhaven's not just a school.
It's the world's oldest academy
for crooks, and the most exclusive.
Mm-hm.
In theory.
TANNOY: All Crooklings must register
within five minutes
or we'll assume
you're a hostile interloper.
How does this make sense?
I mean, they get us here by
threatening to grass us to the cops
and then they want to teach us
to be criminals?
Not criminals.
Crooks.
That's the whole point.
We only use our skills to do right.
How do I put this in a way that
even a Merit can understand?
Um, criminals - baddies. Mm-hm.
Us - goodies.
What's a Merit?
EDGAR SCOFFS
Well, it
WHISPER: Thank you, Edgar.
We'll take it from here.
My pleasure, Whisper.
Uh, Miss Jericho.
Always happy to help.
See you later.
TANNOY: All Deception classes
are cancelled.
With me. This way.
Hold on. Wait a sec.
Did he call you Whisper?
Like Whisper Whisper?
We got hacked by a Whisper.
Ain't no other.
For my sins,
I teach Cyber Intrusion.
I teach Infiltration.
Sorry, just to be clear,
so you use your skills to do right?
Does that mean you work for,
like, the Government?
It's a complex symbiosis.
Officially, we don't exist.
Unofficially, we've been vital
to global security
for almost 200 years.
Come.
Whoa!
Have we just entered
the fifth dimension?
From twins to octuplets, bro!
More like quintillion-lets!
Bad enough seeing you
guys in one mirror.
This is my own personal hell.
What is this?
We call it the Specularium.
It's a short cut
and an escape route,
and a vital training course
to hone your spatial orientation.
An elite crook needs
all six senses to be on point.
Why do you need an escape route?
Why wouldn't we?
I still don't get why we're here.
Why us?
The Crooked Complex keeps constant
lookout for fresh blood.
The four of you were hand-picked
out of thousands for your skills.
Crucially, you guys only ever
steal for the right reasons.
This way.
Time to meet the big guy.
My apologies. I had hoped
to welcome you in person,
but you completed your tasks
far sooner than expected.
Caspian Lockett,
your new headmaster.
And of course,
I know fine well who you are.
Ade and Ede Okoro,
Jia Ou,
and Gabriel Avery.
May I introduce Mr Khan,
our head of Deception.
It was you - the posh bloke.
And you, you weren't even a copper.
That was quite the getaway.
The past 24 hours has been a test.
Happily, you passed.
Here you all are.
TANNOY: Whisper and Miss Jericho
to the armoury, please.
You let me think
I was going to jail.
That was the idea.
You stole from me.
"You stole from me, sir."
You set all that up -
the disguise, the fake cop
..for me?
We'd have done whatever it took.
Just one thing, Mr Lockett, sir.
We sincerely appreciate the offer,
but our parents aren't
exactly going to be down
with the idea of us
coming to a school forcrims.
Not crims, gentlemen. Crooks.
Naturally, you will stay undercover
for the rest of your lives.
You can't ask us to do that.
For them to learn the truth
could be lethal.
We have some very dangerous enemies.
You're concerned
about your grandmother.
Don't be. We've spoken.
You've done what?
Same goes for all of you.
What did you tell her?
As far as they're concerned,
you're sitting an exam
for St Jude's Academy right now.
Should you accept, you'll tell them
you've been offered a full
scholarship, starting at once.
Take tonight,
consider carefully.
Yeah, I don't need time to consider.
There's no way
I can leave my grandma.
That's not going to happen.
I'll just take my coin and go.
Thanks all the same.
You disappoint me, Mr Avery.
But I'm afraid you can't leave now.
The woods are far from safe
after dark.
First thing tomorrow.
Unless you change your mind.
Yeah, I won't.
I can't.
Sir.
TANNOY: Reminder to students in the
mess, please recycle all packaging
and return stolen cutlery
to the kitchen.
Silverware is not
for Skulduggery practice.
I know that look.
I was you once.
But trust me, it'sit's mad
how soon it feels like home.
Thanks, but I have a home.
That's Penelope,
the ultimate Legacy.
Legacy?
Yeah. You and I, amigo,
we're Merits.
We're here for one reason
and one reason only -
because we're fire.
Keep telling yourself that, Leon.
But most crooks, like Isabella here,
are Legacies.
Our parents or our grandparents
were here.
Some of us go back generations.
Seven
..in my case.
We met earlier. Edgar Delacombe.
This is
Dorian McCarthur. Only third gen.
And, um, you are?
Gabriel Avery.
A Merit.
Good for you. Look forward
to seeing what you can do in class.
Well, I hate
to disappoint you, Edgar,
but I won't be sticking around.
Sorry, but you've been offered
a place at Crookhaven
and you're going to turn it down
so you can, what,
go back to shoplifting?
THEY CHUCKLE
Stealing bikes?
That's a good one!
All right, Dorian.
It wasn't a joke.
Thanks.
Now that I've met you,
I know I've made the right decision.
See, they just walk straight in.
Handed to 'em on a stolen platter.
Big bunch of nepo babies.
That's fundamentally inequitable.
Bro, we're still a part of this.
We get to study Cyber Intrusion
and Deception and Skulduggery!
And at the end of it, we get to be
a part of a secret network
that's going to make us rich!
You mean help defeat criminals
and restore justice.
Yeah, and that too, obviously.
None of you guys bothered
by the whole
lying to your families
forever thing?
Your grandma know you steal?
Yeah, you're joking.
So what's the difference?
Well, that's a little white lie,
and this
I mean, this would be
a whole secret life.
Ain't no way I'm taking top bunk!
You know I hate heights!
Not like I do! Which one of us
fainted on the Eiffel Tower, bro?
Only cos you hadn't eaten in,
like, an hour.
That doesn't count!
Gabriel, settle this, will you?
Fine.
Heads or tails?
Sir.
Lockett's stolen it again!
What is it?
My coin! Why am I the only one
he keeps robbing?
Hold the phone.
You're saying the thing you
came all this way for,
risked your life for
..was a coin?
Not just any coin.
Why are you spying on me, Avery?
No, I wasn't spying. I was
What?
Looking for
Who?
Lockett.
Why?
Cos he's a thieving con artist.
Show some respect.
That's your headmaster.
Not actually, cos I'm not staying.
So to me he's just some stuck up
guy in an itchy suit
who likes playing mind games
with kids.
It's pretty messed up
when you think about it.
You're talking about the greatest
crook of his generation.
Hmm, big whoop. Happy for him.
Do you have any idea
how lucky you are to be here?
And you're just going to
throw it away.
It's so ungrateful.
So ignorant.
What did they even see in you?
Not bad, to be fair.
But there's something off.
I just can't quite put my
Thanks, but I don't need a critique
from someone like you.
Word of warning, don't go marching
up to Lockett's office.
It won't end well for you.
Thanks, but I don't need advice
from someone like you.
It's the eyes. They're, um
..greener in that one.
Evening, Mr Avery.
What do you want with me?
The first time was to get you here,
the second time to keep you here.
I already told you, I can't.
How is stealing my coin
going to change that?
By showing how much you
have to learn.
I know all I need to.
You're a blunt instrument.
You didn't pause to consider
why I had taken your coin
or the smartest way to retrieve it.
You just went stomping blindly
through the school
like a man possessed,
telegraphing your weakness.
What weakness?
You see everyone as a threat.
You're a dodgy posh bloke
who likes blackmailing kids.
You are a threat.
Coin, please, sir.
I'm not here
to threaten you, Gabriel.
I'm here to save you.
Save me from what?
I can't bear to see talent
go to waste.
It would be a tragedy
for you to spend
the rest of your life
as a petty criminal.
Oh, what, when I could come here
and be a professional criminal?
Not a criminal, Avery. A crook.
They steal, we restore.
They destroy, we repair.
We'll give you the skills to beat
criminals at their own game.
Right now, you're good.
With our help, you could be great.
Or you could go back
to being a nobody.
You don't know what my life is.
On the contrary,
I know everything about you,
right down to how much vinegar
you like on your chips.
Far too much, in my opinion.
I know you have a deep sense
of right and wrong
and I know that you long to save
your grandmother
from those despicable Merciers.
But tell me this,
how many pockets would you have to
pick to buy that caravan by the sea?
How much help would you
be in a young offender's institute?
Because the next time you're
arrested, it won't be Mr Khan.
My coin.
Now!
Please.
Well, I see I'm not going
to change your mind. Um
Perhaps you should call her.
She'll be worried.
Goodbyesir.
Why didn't you mention
this St Jude's place?
It all happened so fast,
I didn't have time to explain.
Well, now you don't have to.
Mr Lockett came to see me.
Told me everything.
How he persuaded the police
not to press charges,
how he runs a school that turns
kids' lives around.
No, that's not true.
Oh, enough, Gabriel.
No more lies.
I found the box in your cupboard.
800 quid of stolen money.
And to think that I fell for all
that stuff about scratchcards.
You must think I'm so stupid.
No. No, I just wanted to help.
Help? This could ruin everything.
Grandma, listen.
No. You listen.
You're the one good thing
that's happened to me.
The last thing I want is to see you
going to some boarding school,
but they offer you a place,
then you take it,
for your future's sake.
And what about your future?
CALL CUTS OFF
TANNOY: Today's Crooked value
is cheating.
Remember, cheat,
but never cheat your friends.
Gabriel, wait up.
You are serious, then,
about leaving?
I thought maybe it was a bluff
for Edgar's benefit.
I promised my grandmother
I'd never steal again.
She begged me to stay here.
But staying here means
learning to steal, lying to her.
This is Crookhaven, amigo.
Nothing's as simple
as right or wrong.
Here we go. See?
Water's not so frightening, huh?
There you go, Amira.
Back on solid ground.
Best of luck now.
You keep that chin up.
Come on. It's time to watch the baby
Crooklings embarrass themselves.
What does she mean?
Oh, the Crooked Oak. Trust me,
you don't want to miss this.
You can get the boat later
if you still want to leave.
I thought you weren't
sticking around.
Haven't made up my mind.
Well, you'd better decide soon,
cos once your arrow hits the oak,
there's no going back.
For what it's worth,
I really hope you stay.
Reverse psychology, right?
Edgar, look. Look. Isn't that?
Amira Dhawan.
When did she arrive?
Never thought she had the nerve
to show her face.
Her brother is a traitor.
Shocking.
Crooklings, my name is Mr Velasquez.
It's my honour
to teach Skullduggery.
You stand where I once stood
at the start of a long
and crooked path.
Once you become Crooklings,
you will be bound
by our sacred values.
Steal, but not from those in need.
Cheat, but never cheat your friends.
Lie, but never to yourself.
From this moment, you are all in
competition for this -
the Crooked Cup.
A chance to have your name engraved
beside the greatest crooks
in history.
CHEERING
For a young crook,
there is no higher honour,
no greater way to announce yourself
as a talent to be reckoned with.
Every Delacombe's won it since 1910.
Dad's had me practising five years
for this. I won't let him down.
It's yours to lose, Edgar.
Last holidays, I helped put some
bad people away.
Never known a feeling like it.
To this day, each new Crookling
accepts their place
by firing a silver-tipped arrow
with your name inscribed upon it.
How are we supposed to bust out
some mad archery skills?!
The motive
governs the means, Gabriel.
It's not about
It's not about what you do.
It's about why.
And whoever comes closest to hitting
Ezekiel's original arrowhead
will win themselves
five Crooked points.
But because we are a soft touch,
we will allow you the best of two.
So, Crooklings,
step forward and collect your arrow.
Good luck.
May your aim be true.
I want you to know your name
is poison
and your presence is an insult.
I'm guessing you're Edgar Delacombe.
They warned me about you.
They were right to.
Made a decision yet?
Guess.
LAUGHTER
MISS JERICHO: Oh, dear.
Wrong tree, Mr Okoro.
After that shockingly poor start,
let's hope the next
two Crooklings fare better.
Hey! A-At least we hit a tree!
Our next two Crooklings are, um
..Penelope Lockett
Yes, Penelope! Come on, Penelope!
Lockett? As in?
As in the headmaster's daughter.
..and Gabriel Avery.
So, we have a Merit versus a Legacy.
I thought we agreed.
Raw talent needs nurturing, Diego.
This is the best place for him.
Let's be honest,
it's you against me.
A Merit doesn't stand a chance.
Neither do you, Edgar.
Please, step forward.
Ever held a bow before?
How hard can it be?
Make me proud.
When have I not?
APPLAUSE
Whoa! Nice, Penelope!
Penelope, please retrieve
your arrow.
She's good.
I'm better.
LAUGHTER
WHOOPING
LAUGHTER
How hard can it be?
Our next two Crooklings are
..Edgar Delacombe and Jia Ou.
Shall I show you how to hold it?
No, I'll figure it out.
I'm Chinese, doofus.
Archery's in my DNA.
Brava, Jia!
A remarkable first shot,
especially for a Merit.
A little wide.
That's the breeze. I'll recalibrate.
You can't get beat by a Merit!
Come on, Edgar!
Come on, Edgar!
Woo!
VOICE ECHOES: You can't get beat
by a Merit!
SHE YELPS
What the hell, Dhawan?!
You were aiming right at her!
I-I was lining up the target!
You made me shoot
when you barged into me!
Y-You'd never shoot
someone on purpose!
I guess the rumours about you
are true. You are no Legacy.
Arrow! Bring me Jia's arrow.
Stay where you are.
Move. Move!
JIA BREATHES RAGGEDLY
OK, look at me.
Look at me, look at me.
You OK?
You OK? I'm OK, I'm fine. You sure?
Good girl. Here.
I'm afraid after that
unedifying spectacle,
Amira has forfeited her turn.
Interfering with another Crookling's
shot is strictly forbidden.
I mean, you can't be serious.
Delacombe's the one
who should be disqualified.
He tried to shoot Jia.
Amira's the one who saved her.
Hey, don't be a bad sport, Gabriel,
just cos your arrow barely
hit the tree.
It was an accident.
Dhawan knocked into me.
SHE BREATHES RAGGEDLY
CROWD MURMUR
Go on, Edgar!
Yes!
Great shot, Edgar!
I believe our winner
is Edgar Delacombe.
I wouldn't be so sure.
Meaning?
Did you check the name on the arrow
before you fired it?
Mr Lockett, sir, y-you can't
The name on the arrow is
..Gabriel Avery.
ALL GASP
I want you to know your name
is poison
and your presence is an insult.
I'm guessing you're Edgar Delacombe.
They warned me about you.
Headmaster.
The rules state
the arrow closest to the mark wins.
This arrow has
Gabriel Avery's name on it.
MURMURS AND APPLAUSE
Don't be a bad sport, Edgar,
just cos your arrow
barely hit the tree.
That's not fair! He's making
a mockery out of the Crooked Oak.
How can you let him do this?
He beat you. Deal with it.
Oh, I'll deal with it.
So, you're staying?
Looks that way.
And all it took was me
almost getting shot.
TANNOY: Goodnight, Crookhaven.
Sweet dreams.
DISTORTED VOICE: Another year
begins, Caspian.
Another class of eager young
Crooklings for you to brainwash.
But a word to the wise
There's a storm coming.
A storm you can't escape.
And you only have yourself to blame.
So that's how it all began.
I picked his pocket, he picked mine.
I went to get my lucky coin back
and next thing I knew
I was a Crookling.
New tie, new jacket, new life.
It felt like maybe my lucky coin had
finally brought me some real luck.
Except of course it wasn't luck
that brought me here, was it?
It was Caspian Lockett.
And when your headmaster and
everyone in your school is a crook,
the first lesson you learn
..trust no-one.
What has Caspian started?
You're not one of us.
You don't belong here.
I have to utterly humiliate him.
I'm not here to make friends.
I'm here to win.
Game on.
There's a storm coming.
The Nameless.
What's the Nameless?
An enemy that hates everything
Crookhaven stands for.
You put the entire
Crooked network in danger!
ALARM BLARES
Gabriel, get out!
They already have our blood
on their hands,
and they'll burn this place
to the ground.
Listen up losers, we need your help.
Crooklings assemble!
Leaving so soon?
I thought I was here
because I was good!
This is Crookhaven.
Everyone's hiding something.
SHE SCREAMS
We're crooks. Honesty's overrated.