Extreme Ghostbusters (1997) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[saw buzzing]
Hey, tell the boss
we finally busted through.
[man] I don't know what was down here,
but something tells me
we shouldn't be disturbing it.
Maybe we ought to seal it back up.
Oh, yeah? And tell the boss what?
The mayor wants the new subway
running through here
before the next election.
[music intensifies]
[gasping]
[shrieking]
[theme music playing]
If there's something strange
In your neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
If there's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
That's right ♪
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost ♪
If you're seeing things
Running through your head ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost ♪
You know busting
Makes me feel good ♪
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost ♪
Whoo-ooh! ♪
[whimsical music playing]
[music stops]
So, what's the deal?
I thought this was
Egon Spengler's class,
Paranormal Phenomena 101.
You thought right.
Popular class, huh?
Spengler's Spirit Guide? Cool.
You've read it?
Nah, but I know all about Spengler.
He was an OGB,
as in, "Original Ghostbuster." [laughs]
I wanna hear all about
how those guys kicked ghost butt.
[whimsical music playing]
Man, if I ever got a chance
to zap those suckers
[mimics proton pack firing]
Yeah, right. Ghosts.
Any moron with half a brain cell
knows they don't exist.
I mean, you gotta be a
Real slick, bro. Open mouth, insert foot.
Yeah, well, at least I have a foot.
One that works to insert.
So why are you taking this class,
Mr. Half-a-Brain-Cell?
The name's Eduardo.
And I'm taking it because
it's what's known as an easy A.
[Garrett] What about you, bro?
Are you here for the easy A?
"Easy A"?
1, uh, don't really follow rap music much.
He's asking, you believe in ghosts?
Well, I've never seen one,
but I'm open to the possibility.
Now, what I have seen is the Ecto-1,
that was the Ghostbusters' car,
at an auto show.
Man, those guys
had some incredible hardware,
like those ghost-blasting things.
[Egon] Proton guns.
Actually, to be more accurate,
ectoplasmic molecular
displacement beams.
It's him. Egon Spengler.
I'm all a-twitter.
Four people are taking this class?
The average student
just isn't enlightened enough
to be interested in the paranormal.
Nice turnout.
Double the class size
I had last semester.
Excuse me, professor, am I late?
No, we were just getting
Janine?
I've become a big fan
of continuing education,
especially since I got downsized.
So how have you been, Egon?
Still doing your research?
Still living in the firehouse?
Yes, well, I [clears throat]
You know, I'm, uh
Oh. Uh, class, this is Janine Melnitz.
Good morning, Miss Melnitz.
She used to work
for the Ghostbusters, right?
This is correct.
Janine was our receptionist.
I like to think that our relationship
was more than that.
Of course.
Janine also did the accounting
and collections.
[groans]
-[ominous music playing]
-[thunder rumbling]
[car horn honks]
[beeping]
[snoring]
[whimpering and yelping]
[yelling]
[Egon] And so your garden-variety
poly-spectral entity
usually follows
an ectoplasmic growth curve
that looks something like this.
Yeah, but when's he gonna get
to the part about kicking ghost butt?
[Eduardo snoring]
[Egon] usually referred to
as a Class 4 or Class 5.
You must take other factors
into consideration.
He's giving us hard data
on the life cycles of ghosts
as if he's got scientific proof
that they exist.
They do.
Are you saying you've seen one?
I am one.
Kidding.
But ever since
losing my great-grandma Rose
about a year ago,
I often sense her presence.
-[devices beeping and whirring]
-[whimpering]
A-ha!
Mmm-mmm!
[man over PA] If you look
out your window to your left,
you'll see one of the most colorful sights
New York has to offer.
-What was that?
-[gasping]
[dramatic music playing]
There you go, maps of Manhattan.
-[horn honks]
-[Slimer yelps, then groans]
[Slimer yells]
Hm
A-ha!
At last.
The portal has been opened,
and I, Achira, demon spawn of Duaka,
have arisen
to spread disease and decay
upon the populace of this cursed city.
Very soon now
and the 11th prophecy shall be fulfilled.
[laughs maniacally]
-[whimsical music playing]
-[snoring]
[Egon] And so in order to label
an occurrence "paranormal”,
one must first put it through
the following checklist
of determinant factors.
-[people yelling]
-[dramatic music playing]
[yelling and gibbering]
Uh, is that? Is he, um?
A ghost, yes!
-Slimer?
-Slimer?
[Slimer gibbering]
Come on, let's get him.
-No, wait. Slimer's a friend.
-[music fades]
Hm. Huh? [gasps]
[yells]
[yells]
[yells]
It's okay. They don't exist.
-[tense music playing]
-[Slimer gibbering]
The P.K.E. Meters.
They're doing what?
He wants us to follow him
to the firehouse.
What is he, the ghost of Flipper?
We can take my Mustang.
It's parked right out front.
You coming?
Day one, field trip.
I'll tell you one thing, babe.
This is no easy A.
The name's Kylie.
[horn blaring]
[horn honks]
[horn honks]
Hey, you, Mr. Guy, get the lead out.
Don't mind him, Roland.
You're very conscientious
behind the wheel.
Yeah, you drive like my Aunt Bertha.
Why do you have to sit on my lap?
Ugh!
Oh, man.
-Darn.
-What?
You don't have a key?
Yes, in my briefcase
back at the lecture hall.
[Garrett] No sweat.
I got a sure-fire method
for picking locks.
[wheels screech]
[pensive music playing]
Wow, this is really it.
The headquarters of the Ghostbusters.
There's the Ecto-1.
Needs a wash.
[beeping and whirring]
P K E. readings are through the roof.
This is indicative of a major outbreak
of ectoplasmic activity.
Ghosts walk among us.
And so do weird chicks.
[whimsical music playing]
What's this do?
That's a spectral pro to-capacitator.
What would be known
in layman's terms as
A ghost beacon.
Correct.
By emitting
an ultra-parasonic frequency,
it allows the user to summon a ghost.
Now there's a party waiting to happen.
Uh, we don't want any accidents now.
[coughs]
All this fancy equipment
and you still don't own a vacuum.
Speaking of vacuums
[gasps]
and then this horrible-looking thing
comes flying out.
Well, there you have it.
A group of tunnel workers
who claim to have been witness
to something supernatural.
Or perhaps they've just inhaled
too many exhaust fumes.
In any event,
the new subway tunnel is slated
to be christened by the mayor
later this afternoon.
That new tunnel must have opened up
an ecto-triangulation breach.
A gateway to a ghostly dimension.
You do know your Spengler, don't you?
I read your book cover-to-cover
six times.
Teacher's pet.
I've got to get down to that tunnel,
take some readings.
I'm coming with you.
You know how being underground
always gives you nosebleeds.
Oh, uh, class dismissed.
-Can't we come along?
-What about us?
-I can drive you.
-See you tomorrow at 10 a.m.
So are we gonna be tested
on all of this?
[pensive music playing]
And so I hereby dedicate this tunnel
for the new crosstown subway line.
I was right.
This entire area is brimming
with residual ectoplasmic vibrations.
-[meter whirring]
-Excuse me.
Pardon me.
And when the history
of this great metropolis is written,
I only hope that there will be
a small mention of what we have
What in blazes is going on here?
Mr. Mayor, you've got to
shut down this tunnel.
-[chattering]
-Shut down? What does he mean?
-Hey. What does that mean?
-[dramatic music playing]
It's breached an inter-dimensional rift,
a gateway to the spirit world.
Who knows how many ghosts
have already gotten out?
Ghosts?
Now, now, calm down, everyone.
For those of you
too young to remember,
this is the illustrious Egon Spengler
a charter member
of those psychotic vigilantes
once known as the Ghostbusters.
Yeah, back in the '80s,
they tried to con the city
into believing there were ghosts
in order to line their own pockets.
But fortunately, they were shut down.
That's totally untrue.
We shut ourselves down
because there weren't any ghosts to
Precisely. There weren't any ghosts.
[laughing]
Now if you'll all step this way,
there's something I'd like you to see.
Wait, Mr. Mayor,
you've got to fill in this tunnel.
The public has got to be warned.
Okay, so the mayor won't help.
I'll do it myself.
Somewhere in this wretched city,
I shall find what I'm looking for.
[sighs]
[eerie music playing]
This one looks promising.
[screaming]
Will I never find a willing host?
[screaming continues]
[groans]
[Kylie] Spirits
if you are out there tonight,
show yourself.
I won't hurt you. I just wanna talk.
[eerie music playing]
[droning]
Wait.
I sense a presence.
Someone out there
who desires to make contact.
A willing host to spread my disease.
-[yowls, then hisses]
-[gasps]
Ah! Pagan, don't freak.
This is just something I borrowed.
An opportunity for us
to make contact with the other side.
Okay, spirits.
Any time now.
Grandma Rose.
[yowls]
My child, it's been so long.
Come, give your granny a hug.
Oh, great-grandma,
I've missed you too.
There's so much I want to ask you.
Yes, my child,
and you shall get your answers.
[music intensifies]
[screams]
-[shrieking]
-[Kylie grunts]
[Kylie screaming]
[screaming continues]
[dramatic music playing]
[yelps]
Ooh.
Well, not too shabby.
No, don't do it, don't go.
I have to go, Slimer. The city's in peril.
[grunts]
And to put it in the vernacular,
who you gonna call?
Well
Uh thank you.
[tires screech]
[siren blaring]
Strong emanations nearby.
A Class 6 SPE
somewhere in the immediate vicinity.
-[shrieks]
-[gasps]
[suspenseful music playing]
[wailing]
I'm breaking the first rule
of ghost busting.
"Never go solo."
Where are you?
[yelling]
[shrieking]
Infect him.
[groans]
No. Not Egon Spengler.
[grunting]
Mm. Feel my disease.
What's up with that weird chick Kylie?
She's such a big fan of this ghost stuff,
so where is she?
I think somebody
has a little thing for Vampira.
Oh, yeah, right.
Scrawny girls who talk to ghoulies
really float my boat.
Oh, dear.
Egon hasn't shown up, has he?
-No.
-Haven't seen him.
Maybe he's dead.
He went off by himself last night
to do some ghost busting.
That old geezer? He could bust a gut.
That old geezer has saved this city
I don't know how many times.
Bite my head off, why don't you?
[groans] It's just that he's let himself
get so out of shape.
Maybe we ought to check out
the firehouse?
[ominous music playing]
[whines]
Slimer, what is it?
[gibbers]
[Janine] Oh, Egon.
You had me worried sick.
I'm so glad you're okay.
I'm not.
[both] Ugh!
[gasps]
I've analyzed the boils,
and they're apparently the result
of a cross-dimensional
dermal-transmogrification.
Say what?
I think he means ghost zits.
That's one way of putting it.
There's a disease-provoking entity
out there.
You should all stay indoors at all costs.
Yeah, well, it looks like rain anyhow.
Janine, hand me the spectral
pro to-capacitator, will you?
The ghost beacon.
I'm going to try to use it to lure the
It's gone.
That girl. Kylie.
The way she was looking at it
She has no idea what she's doing.
Using that device
is just inviting trouble.
Where is she?
I've got to get back out there.
Stop that ghost before it's too
[groans]
Oh, you're burning up.
She touched him.
Why don't you let us handle it?
Yeah. Teach us to be Ghostbusters.
-[dramatic music playing]
-Uh-huh!
What are you guys? Loco?
You wanna end up like that?
Me? I'm gonna take in a double feature.
Well, good. Go. We don't need you.
See you around.
Fine, 'cause this ghost business
don't play with me.
You might wanna take in
the flower show
at the convention center.
I hear they got a special exhibit
on daisies.
You calling me a daisy?
All right. I'm in.
[cheering and whooping]
Now, wait a minute, all of you.
We can't let them do it, Egon.
They're just kids.
Hey, Mom, I'm no chamaco.
Yeah. I'm a lean,
mean fighting machine.
What are you talking about?
I don't think
we have any choice, Janine.
The fate of New York City
could be hanging in the balance.
A-ha!
[dramatic music continues]
[shrieking]
[haunting music playing]