Fortnite x The Simpsons (2025) s01e01 Episode Script
Apocalypse D'oh!
1
[eerie music playing]
[demon laughing]
Kang, have you ever seen such
drool-gushingly beautiful tentacles?
[grumbling, gurgling]
You are overcome by love, I see.
Great Demon,
we will help you defeat the humans.
Then we will marry you,
and bear you 10,000 squidlets.
[both] Whoa!
[tractor beam powers up]
[laughs]
Your feeble guns are
useless against our battle domes.
Try this, you bug-eyed freak.
-[dome gongs]
-Offensive.
[dramatic music playing]
[grunting]
[whirring]
Hope, look. A Zero Point Shard.
Get it before the demon
destroys the island with its power.
-[tractor beam powers up]
-[groans]
[dramatic music plays]
[electronic voice]
Warning, the demon has flung us
into an inter-reality wormhole.
Recommend maximum terror.
[all screaming]
Wait, I can redirect the wormhole
to send us safely home to Springfield.
Stand back.
Wormhole calibration
is an incredibly delicate task.
[grunts]
Recalibrate! Recalibrate!
No! We have to go back to the island.
-Springfield.
-Island.
-Springfield.
-Island.
-Springfield.
-Island.
-Springfield. Springfield…
-Island. Island…
[Kodos] Springfield?
[Hope] Island?
[electronic voice]
Warning, multiple realities have merged
in a cynical brand mash-up.
Wow. Springfield Island. Huh.
It's incredible.
Now, to conquer it.
[cackles]
[wipers squeaking]
-[remote clicking]
-Stupid remote.
Probably out of batteries
like an inconsiderate jerk.
[loud bang]
Hmm?
[Marge] Homer, the radio is saying
if you find a glowing shard,
call the police.
It's alien, uncontrollable,
immensely powerful, and deadly.
Hmm, something, something,
powerful and something.
[grunting] Ah.
Lot of power, all right.
-[yowls]
-Ooh! Easter egg.
Okay, Homer,
do the thing you never do at work.
Focus.
Now we're remoting! Mm-hmm.
-[yelps]
-Is that a shard?
And what are you doing to my living room?
Making it better. Try the couch.
[Marge] Ooh, it is soft.
But you know I don't like alien tech
in the house.
Marge, with this remote I can turn
all of Springfield into a paradise.
End the tire fire, save local journalism,
make something wonderful for all of us.
But can you make good decisions and…
Hmm?
Ooh, go wild.
I'll save this for later, baby.
[laughs]
But right now I got
a device I don't understand,
a high school degree I barely earned,
and no sense of personal limits.
I'm off to create nirvana!
[sighs]
Oh. Thanks, Homer.
Thank you, kind sir.
Chocolate syrup?
A fireman's dream!
Pour me a frosty mug of sugar, Moe.
Making a town perfect is thirsty work.
Yeah. Homer, I swore I'd rip off
my own head before ever saying this,
but on the house.
I love that now my "terlet" has
a never-ending supply of "terlet" paper.
I got lots of great ideas.
You ever look up at the sky and think,
"If the moon is made of cheese,
why can't it be melted on giant nachos?"
Don't get too showy, pal.
Some out-of-town dungballs
have been looking for youse.
They say that shard-a-ma-jig is dangerous.
[yelps] Don't let 'em know I'm here.
Yeah, don't worry.
I kept them busy
with one of your little, uh, improvements.
Hey, these snacks you gave us are moving.
[crackling]
Yeah, they're self-feeding pretzels, huh?
Open your mouth, they walk right in.
[pretzel] Chomp away!
-[chomps, chewing]
-[pretzel laughing]
[eerie music playing]
[demon laughing]
Kang, have you ever seen such
drool-gushingly beautiful tentacles?
[grumbling, gurgling]
You are overcome by love, I see.
Great Demon,
we will help you defeat the humans.
Then we will marry you,
and bear you 10,000 squidlets.
[both] Whoa!
[tractor beam powers up]
[laughs]
Your feeble guns are
useless against our battle domes.
Try this, you bug-eyed freak.
-[dome gongs]
-Offensive.
[dramatic music playing]
[grunting]
[whirring]
Hope, look. A Zero Point Shard.
Get it before the demon
destroys the island with its power.
-[tractor beam powers up]
-[groans]
[dramatic music plays]
[electronic voice]
Warning, the demon has flung us
into an inter-reality wormhole.
Recommend maximum terror.
[all screaming]
Wait, I can redirect the wormhole
to send us safely home to Springfield.
Stand back.
Wormhole calibration
is an incredibly delicate task.
[grunts]
Recalibrate! Recalibrate!
No! We have to go back to the island.
-Springfield.
-Island.
-Springfield.
-Island.
-Springfield.
-Island.
-Springfield. Springfield…
-Island. Island…
[Kodos] Springfield?
[Hope] Island?
[electronic voice]
Warning, multiple realities have merged
in a cynical brand mash-up.
Wow. Springfield Island. Huh.
It's incredible.
Now, to conquer it.
[cackles]
[wipers squeaking]
-[remote clicking]
-Stupid remote.
Probably out of batteries
like an inconsiderate jerk.
[loud bang]
Hmm?
[Marge] Homer, the radio is saying
if you find a glowing shard,
call the police.
It's alien, uncontrollable,
immensely powerful, and deadly.
Hmm, something, something,
powerful and something.
[grunting] Ah.
Lot of power, all right.
-[yowls]
-Ooh! Easter egg.
Okay, Homer,
do the thing you never do at work.
Focus.
Now we're remoting! Mm-hmm.
-[yelps]
-Is that a shard?
And what are you doing to my living room?
Making it better. Try the couch.
[Marge] Ooh, it is soft.
But you know I don't like alien tech
in the house.
Marge, with this remote I can turn
all of Springfield into a paradise.
End the tire fire, save local journalism,
make something wonderful for all of us.
But can you make good decisions and…
Hmm?
Ooh, go wild.
I'll save this for later, baby.
[laughs]
But right now I got
a device I don't understand,
a high school degree I barely earned,
and no sense of personal limits.
I'm off to create nirvana!
[sighs]
Oh. Thanks, Homer.
Thank you, kind sir.
Chocolate syrup?
A fireman's dream!
Pour me a frosty mug of sugar, Moe.
Making a town perfect is thirsty work.
Yeah. Homer, I swore I'd rip off
my own head before ever saying this,
but on the house.
I love that now my "terlet" has
a never-ending supply of "terlet" paper.
I got lots of great ideas.
You ever look up at the sky and think,
"If the moon is made of cheese,
why can't it be melted on giant nachos?"
Don't get too showy, pal.
Some out-of-town dungballs
have been looking for youse.
They say that shard-a-ma-jig is dangerous.
[yelps] Don't let 'em know I'm here.
Yeah, don't worry.
I kept them busy
with one of your little, uh, improvements.
Hey, these snacks you gave us are moving.
[crackling]
Yeah, they're self-feeding pretzels, huh?
Open your mouth, they walk right in.
[pretzel] Chomp away!
-[chomps, chewing]
-[pretzel laughing]