Golden Axe (2026) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
1
Oh, dark spirits!
My hands are your hands.
Spill this blood
so the blood may
bleed on my hands
and make them bloody.
This guy is
obsessed with blood.
Oh, yeah,
we used to live together.
It was all he ever talked about.
Wait, did you finally
get your own place?
Yeah, after we sacrifice this
virgin, you should come see it.
But I'm not a virgin.
It doesn't really matter.
Blood, blood, blood!
Blood, blood, blood,
blood, blood
This guy is obsessed with blood.
We all love spilling it,
but I bet he's
long gone when it comes time
to clean it up.
I don't know,
I-I think he's very scary.
Gilius!
Smells like a swamp rat
perished in your beard.
It's a regular rat.
I'm going to use its bones
to pick locks.
What locks? We're outside.
Ha! Spoken like a man
who's never been
to a forbidden garden.
No, that's forbidden.
Focus. We have
a possible virgin to save.
What's the plan, Ax?
What if we throw Gilius
into the bonfire
and then attack in the chaos?
Oh! That's what we always do.
Because you're impervious
to fire.
It still burns my clothes.
And the sparks fly up
and cause a distraction.
I'm getting distracted
just thinking about it.
What if we sneak up
behind the skeletons,
steal their unholy robes,
then free the girl
and brutally massacre
everyone on our way out?
Hmm. I like the part
about the brutal massacre.
The wind, it's shifting.
We should kill them before
they smell Gilius's stench.
They shouldn't have
to suffer twice.
Tyris, they're skeletons.
They don't even have noses.
Yeah. Also, how do they see?
They have no eyes.
What holds the bones together?
-Ax.
-Oh!
Remember to land in the fire.
Big sparks.
Don't touch me!
If anyone is gonna throw me,
it's me.
Next time, we're doing my idea.
For Yuria!
Behold, Yuria.
Once a land
of peace and prosperity,
until the evil giant,
Death Adder,
used the legendary Golden Axe
to slay the gods and take power.
But, out of the darkness,
three heroes emerged.
Ax Battler, Barbarian warrior.
Tyris Flare, Master of Magic.
And malodorous battle dwarf,
Gilius Thunderhead.
Ah!
Together,
they defeated Death Adder.
But somehow Death Adder survived.
Because, otherwise,
what would they do?
There would be no bad guy.
And he used the power
of the Golden Axe
to resume his conquest.
Now our heroes
must face him once again on
Now back to Gilius landing
in the fire.
There's gonna be big sparks.
For Yuria!
Whoa, big sparks.
Damn, those are distracting.
Who's ready to die?
Oh, shit.
For Yuria!
Oh!
Hey, do you consider yourself
more of a pig or a skeleton?
Don't put me in a box.
I can be more than one thing.
Now you're more than one dead.
That worked, right?
Eh, not really.
Save the girl!
You may kill me,
but I will spill her blood
as Death Adder commands.
Death Adder is dead.
We saw to that.
As long as he possesses
the Golden Axe,
he can never truly die.
Aw, crap.
He possesses it, doesn't he?
No, please!
Stop, fiend!
Thank you.
Does anyone else
smell swamp rat?
-It's a regular rat.
-Gah!
We must spread word
of Death Adder's return.
Gilius, where is your steed?
Oh, he probably found
something dead.
Hey, Chicken Leg!
My, um, beast is ride able,
if you'd like a way home.
Or to your boyfriend's house.
Do you have a boyfriend?
Oh. I actually
really like to walk.
You may ride with me.
Okay.
You're so pretty.
I know.
That was your fault.
You were staring at her.
Elsewhere in Yuria,
another hero prepares
to take on Death Adder.
This carriage is so authentic.
There's dirty hay and everything.
I'm just used to riding
in private coaches.
But if I'm to start my career
as an adventurer,
I must be among my people.
My sleeping people, huh.
Must not be the first time
they've met a young man like me
with dreams of becoming
a legendary warrior.
Ow! You are awake.
If you don't stop yapping,
I'll cut out your tongue, boy.
I'm no boy, old lady.
I am a man.
Nay, a hero.
A hero known
as Hampton Squib. Ow!
And so my heroic journey begins.
Whereth be citizens
in need of protection?
Oh, my gods, it's them.
Watch your ale, Gilius.
At first light, we must set out
to confront Death Adder.
Ugh! Again? What's the point?
Are you suggesting we do nothing?
Do you not remember
the tyranny of his rule?
What about your dead brother?
Or my dead mother?
He killed both of my parents.
All that was left of them was
my mother's battle bikini.
I know it covers too much,
but I wear it to honor her.
Sorry.
I can't tell the story
without crying.
What I'm saying is,
we already killed
Death Adder once.
What's to stop him
from returning again?
This time we kill him for good.
Until he's dead, all the way.
If we're gonna do that,
then we need an actual plan.
Your plan is
to sneak up on Death Adder,
knock him out,
steal his clothes
No. I say we go after
the Emerald Blade.
The Emerald Blade. ♪
The hell?
Gilius, the Emerald Blade's
just a myth.
Did you guys not hear that,
the singing?
-What if it's not?
-The sky turned green.
What if the giants
really did create a weapon
powerful enough
to defeat the Golden Axe?
The giants have been gone
for a century!
We don't have time
for your fairy tales.
We're going to do
what we do best:
face a series of progressively
harder enemies
until we have a big final battle
with Death Adder.
Great. Maybe when we get there,
you can throw me at him.
I was thinking the same thing.
-Am I a joke to you?
-Your plan is.
We all have our roles, Gilius.
I'm a natural leader,
full of great ideas.
Tyris is also a natural leader
with equally great ideas.
How do I fit in?
You're the tip of the spear.
Strong, reliable, deadly.
I'm more than a weapon!
You'd see that, but it's all,
"Shut up and chop our enemies
with your axe, Gilius."
What else would you do
with an axe?
I don't know!
You never let me find out!
I'm going after
the Emerald Blade,
and you can't come.
Fine, you have three days
to get this out of your system.
After that, we ride without you.
No, I ride without you.
That's right, Gilius Thunderhead
is going solo.
Who? Oh, right,
Gilius Dundermed, of course!
And so,
Gilius set out in search
of the Emerald Blade
with Chicken Leg, his trusty
mutant thing
as his only companion.
He faced countless challenges.
Many of which would've been made
easier with the help of a team.
Like quicksand,
this would've been way simpler
if he had someone
to throw him a branch.
Help me, Chicken
Now he's sleeping in a fire?
That's sad.
Oh, no, there goes the tunic.
Let's just cut
to when he gets there.
Oh, hell yeah!
That looks sick.
"All who enter
"in search of the Emerald Blade
will die a thousand deaths."
This is the place!
Ha-ha!
Next time, make your door out of
something stronger than skulls.
Echo!
Huh?
Die, creature of darkness!
Don't s-sneak up
on a battle dwarf, you fool.
I almost chopped you.
Oh, my God.
Did you just bury your axe
in the rock?
How strong are you?
Why have you been following me?
I was at the tavern
and I recognized you.
You are
the mighty Gilius Thunderhead.
I'm a huge fan.
You, Ax, and Tyris,
I mean, you're my heroes.
Go on.
Can I ask one question about Ax?
Does he put anything in his hair
to get that volume?
No, it's natural.
What do you want?
I was hoping
I could join your quest.
Go home, boyo.
I work alone.
But En-Nesryi says,
"The hero who quests alone
will die far from home."
Oh, you studied with En-Nesryi?
Yes, I majored in daggers.
Aah! Uh
It's hard to get them
to bounce like that.
You know what,
you can come with me.
In fact
why don't you go first?
Really? You won't regret this.
I'm Hampton, by the way.
Good for you.
Oh, man, my first real adventure!
Found the trap on the first try.
Have fun in the hole.
There is
a large dead snake down here.
Hello?
Aah! There's a bunch
of little alive ones, too.
Come on, I feel like you're
not even giving this a chance.
I'm not ignoring your suggestion.
I just think it's stupid.
Why does guarding the corridor
have to be boring?
We're reanimated skeletons.
We should lie on the ground,
pretend to be normal,
dead skeletons,
then when someone walks by,
we grab their ankles
and scare the crap out of them.
That is such
tiny skeleton thinking.
I'm normal-sized.
-You guys are huge.
-Oh, oh, oh.
Thanks for the helmet.
Guys, give it back.
-Pretend you're dead
-Give it!
And you can have it back.
Hey!
Why don't you pick
on someone my size?
What a couple of bullies.
Sorry those guys were being
so tough on you.
I know what it's like
to be disrespected
by your colleagues.
Like this one time,
Ax and Tyris
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!
I was on your side!
Stupid creatures of the dark.
Must be a hidden switch.
Ha! Easy.
Ah, damn it.
Yeah, I've got this.
Ah, dragon dick!
Okay, I need to be
a little bit faster.
A little bit faster.
Faster.
Got to go faster.
Ow!
Maybe slower.
Huh?
Ha-ha! I did it!
-What did I do?
-Hi!
Two switches.
Hardly even a puzzle, am I right?
I told you to wait
in the snake pit.
Checking for more traps?
Smart. If I've learned
anything today,
it's snake ribs
are nature's ladders, and
Go back to the pit.
Mean!
It wasn't a myth.
The Emerald Blade,
the Emerald Blade ♪
The Emerald Blade, the
Emerald Blade ♪
The Emerald Blade,
the Emerald Blade. ♪
Ye seek the blade, true,
but ye must taste
Moggabog's blood
before ye can possess it.
Almost forgot about
the 1,000-year-old troll.
Moggagabog, was it?
Moggabog.
Accent on the "bog."
Ha! I'm not learning
how to say that. Aah!
Taste my axe, troll.
Moggabog laughs at you.
Truly one
of the most pathetic creatures
Moggabog has ever faced.
Wait, how did you get past
the puzzle door?
It takes two people.
Not for me.
I work alone.
-Oh, that's sad.
-No, it's not.
But you're missing the best part
of being an adventurer.
The friendships
you forge along the way.
That can be a small part of it,
but there's also the money.
The money?
Oh, you are so, so sad.
Uh-uh, I'm not, I'm not sad.
You're the one that's sad,
down here all alone.
Not by choice.
Moggabog would love a companion.
But every time
Moggabog meets someone new,
he is forced to kill them.
But you,
you choose to be alone?
Are you crying?
No! Maybe.
It's just
Moggabog so lonely.
Gilius not sure
what to say right now.
Moggabog sorry.
That was building up for a while.
Okay. Okay.
Moggabog ready to eat you now.
-You need a second?
-No, no.
The devouring
of your flesh will cheer me.
Okay.
Die!
The Emerald Blade. ♪
Ha-ha!
Gilius! There was a boulder
by one of the switches.
I slid it over and
Did you kill a troll?
You do have a friend.
He's not my friend.
Please, let me
hold it for one second?
I just want to hack some rocks
or a bush or something?
The Emerald Blade isn't a toy.
Besides,
I need to get back to town
before Ax and Tyris
go after Death Adder.
You're gonna get back
together with them?
Is it because I helped you learn
the value of a good team?
Oh, they'll be the ones learning.
Learning how right I was
about the Emerald Blade!
Hyah!
Gentle villagers,
fear not, for this day,
I set out to defeat Death Adder.
Along with my loyal, brave
companions: Tyris Flare
And our valued third team member,
the brave and mighty warrior.
They must've seen me
riding into town.
I speak, of course,
of Chronos Lait!
That's me, baby.
Huh?
Thank you, thank you.
I look forward to saving
the kingdom.
And hey, keep a warm bowl of
milk ready for when I get back.
Lick, lick, kitty's gonna
be thirsty from kicking ass.
I leave for three days
and they replace me
with Chronos Lait?
He has zero battle skills,
he's just a cat man.
Sure, but he's got charisma.
Plus, he's a great dancer.
Scratch, scratch, shimmy ♪
Shimmy, do the Chronos. ♪
We will save Yuria!
Do the Chronos. ♪
They were my best friends.
And they just decide to replace
me with a dancing cat.
Panther man.
Oh, thank you for your devotion
to accuracy.
Do the Chronos. ♪
Whoa, looks like
you're taking your friends
replacing you with a cat man
pretty hard, eh?
Panther man.
You don't need
those lousy ex-friends.
You've got the Emerald Blade.
Oh, yes!
The legendary Emerald Blade.
It's useless.
It's so dull,
it can't cut butter.
You're still
the mighty Gilius Thunderhead.
And I'm the soon-to-be mighty
Hampton Squib.
Even if I were gonna go
after Death Adder,
I would never go with you.
Why not?
Because you're useless.
I've seen you in a fight.
No, you haven't.
True, but I imagined it.
You'll be dead
the first time we run
into any little creature
of the darkness.
Leave me be.
You know what?
You're a stinky, drunk asshole
with no friends, and
that mutant you ride is weird.
I may be an asshole,
but you're an untrained fool.
Your teacher, En-Nesryi,
I met him.
He was there one time
when I fought Death Adder.
He pissed his pants
and passed out in fear.
True story.
No wonder your friends
ditched you for a cat.
Panther man.
Help!
The village is under attack!
D-D-Death Adder's minions!
Ah, shit.
This town belongs
to the demon lord.
Supplicate yourselves!
-What do I do?
-Get in there and fight them.
Yes, sir!
Sir?
Damn right.
Oh, my back!
You don't throw someone.
That's disrespectful.
What are you gonna do about it?
I thought he was drunk?
Oh, he's extremely drunk.
Gilius!
Huh?
The Emerald Blade. ♪
That thing was dull.
Did you see that?
The Emerald Blade lit up.
What does it mean?
It means we can stab
our enemies in the dark.
And you might not be
totally useless on this quest.
So I'm coming, really?
The two of us
taking down Death Adder?
Yes, before anyone else does.
Is it a race?
Of course it's a race.
A race to save Yuria!
Hey, when the Emerald Blade
lit up,
do you think
it's because it chose me?
Ha! There's no such thing
as chosen ones.
If there were, they would have
at least gone through puberty
and not be some little boy.
I am a man!
And so begins the final quest
against Death Adder.
Fate has not chosen
who will prevail,
the armies of the damned
or the drunken battle dwarf
and his anxious virgin.
Either way,
Yuria will never be the same.
Gilius!
Gilius! Gilius!
The Emerald Blade
has been unearthed.
It can only be wielded
by the Chosen One.
Bring them to me.
Yes, my liege.
What do you think
they're laughing about?
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
Chirp.
Oh, dark spirits!
My hands are your hands.
Spill this blood
so the blood may
bleed on my hands
and make them bloody.
This guy is
obsessed with blood.
Oh, yeah,
we used to live together.
It was all he ever talked about.
Wait, did you finally
get your own place?
Yeah, after we sacrifice this
virgin, you should come see it.
But I'm not a virgin.
It doesn't really matter.
Blood, blood, blood!
Blood, blood, blood,
blood, blood
This guy is obsessed with blood.
We all love spilling it,
but I bet he's
long gone when it comes time
to clean it up.
I don't know,
I-I think he's very scary.
Gilius!
Smells like a swamp rat
perished in your beard.
It's a regular rat.
I'm going to use its bones
to pick locks.
What locks? We're outside.
Ha! Spoken like a man
who's never been
to a forbidden garden.
No, that's forbidden.
Focus. We have
a possible virgin to save.
What's the plan, Ax?
What if we throw Gilius
into the bonfire
and then attack in the chaos?
Oh! That's what we always do.
Because you're impervious
to fire.
It still burns my clothes.
And the sparks fly up
and cause a distraction.
I'm getting distracted
just thinking about it.
What if we sneak up
behind the skeletons,
steal their unholy robes,
then free the girl
and brutally massacre
everyone on our way out?
Hmm. I like the part
about the brutal massacre.
The wind, it's shifting.
We should kill them before
they smell Gilius's stench.
They shouldn't have
to suffer twice.
Tyris, they're skeletons.
They don't even have noses.
Yeah. Also, how do they see?
They have no eyes.
What holds the bones together?
-Ax.
-Oh!
Remember to land in the fire.
Big sparks.
Don't touch me!
If anyone is gonna throw me,
it's me.
Next time, we're doing my idea.
For Yuria!
Behold, Yuria.
Once a land
of peace and prosperity,
until the evil giant,
Death Adder,
used the legendary Golden Axe
to slay the gods and take power.
But, out of the darkness,
three heroes emerged.
Ax Battler, Barbarian warrior.
Tyris Flare, Master of Magic.
And malodorous battle dwarf,
Gilius Thunderhead.
Ah!
Together,
they defeated Death Adder.
But somehow Death Adder survived.
Because, otherwise,
what would they do?
There would be no bad guy.
And he used the power
of the Golden Axe
to resume his conquest.
Now our heroes
must face him once again on
Now back to Gilius landing
in the fire.
There's gonna be big sparks.
For Yuria!
Whoa, big sparks.
Damn, those are distracting.
Who's ready to die?
Oh, shit.
For Yuria!
Oh!
Hey, do you consider yourself
more of a pig or a skeleton?
Don't put me in a box.
I can be more than one thing.
Now you're more than one dead.
That worked, right?
Eh, not really.
Save the girl!
You may kill me,
but I will spill her blood
as Death Adder commands.
Death Adder is dead.
We saw to that.
As long as he possesses
the Golden Axe,
he can never truly die.
Aw, crap.
He possesses it, doesn't he?
No, please!
Stop, fiend!
Thank you.
Does anyone else
smell swamp rat?
-It's a regular rat.
-Gah!
We must spread word
of Death Adder's return.
Gilius, where is your steed?
Oh, he probably found
something dead.
Hey, Chicken Leg!
My, um, beast is ride able,
if you'd like a way home.
Or to your boyfriend's house.
Do you have a boyfriend?
Oh. I actually
really like to walk.
You may ride with me.
Okay.
You're so pretty.
I know.
That was your fault.
You were staring at her.
Elsewhere in Yuria,
another hero prepares
to take on Death Adder.
This carriage is so authentic.
There's dirty hay and everything.
I'm just used to riding
in private coaches.
But if I'm to start my career
as an adventurer,
I must be among my people.
My sleeping people, huh.
Must not be the first time
they've met a young man like me
with dreams of becoming
a legendary warrior.
Ow! You are awake.
If you don't stop yapping,
I'll cut out your tongue, boy.
I'm no boy, old lady.
I am a man.
Nay, a hero.
A hero known
as Hampton Squib. Ow!
And so my heroic journey begins.
Whereth be citizens
in need of protection?
Oh, my gods, it's them.
Watch your ale, Gilius.
At first light, we must set out
to confront Death Adder.
Ugh! Again? What's the point?
Are you suggesting we do nothing?
Do you not remember
the tyranny of his rule?
What about your dead brother?
Or my dead mother?
He killed both of my parents.
All that was left of them was
my mother's battle bikini.
I know it covers too much,
but I wear it to honor her.
Sorry.
I can't tell the story
without crying.
What I'm saying is,
we already killed
Death Adder once.
What's to stop him
from returning again?
This time we kill him for good.
Until he's dead, all the way.
If we're gonna do that,
then we need an actual plan.
Your plan is
to sneak up on Death Adder,
knock him out,
steal his clothes
No. I say we go after
the Emerald Blade.
The Emerald Blade. ♪
The hell?
Gilius, the Emerald Blade's
just a myth.
Did you guys not hear that,
the singing?
-What if it's not?
-The sky turned green.
What if the giants
really did create a weapon
powerful enough
to defeat the Golden Axe?
The giants have been gone
for a century!
We don't have time
for your fairy tales.
We're going to do
what we do best:
face a series of progressively
harder enemies
until we have a big final battle
with Death Adder.
Great. Maybe when we get there,
you can throw me at him.
I was thinking the same thing.
-Am I a joke to you?
-Your plan is.
We all have our roles, Gilius.
I'm a natural leader,
full of great ideas.
Tyris is also a natural leader
with equally great ideas.
How do I fit in?
You're the tip of the spear.
Strong, reliable, deadly.
I'm more than a weapon!
You'd see that, but it's all,
"Shut up and chop our enemies
with your axe, Gilius."
What else would you do
with an axe?
I don't know!
You never let me find out!
I'm going after
the Emerald Blade,
and you can't come.
Fine, you have three days
to get this out of your system.
After that, we ride without you.
No, I ride without you.
That's right, Gilius Thunderhead
is going solo.
Who? Oh, right,
Gilius Dundermed, of course!
And so,
Gilius set out in search
of the Emerald Blade
with Chicken Leg, his trusty
mutant thing
as his only companion.
He faced countless challenges.
Many of which would've been made
easier with the help of a team.
Like quicksand,
this would've been way simpler
if he had someone
to throw him a branch.
Help me, Chicken
Now he's sleeping in a fire?
That's sad.
Oh, no, there goes the tunic.
Let's just cut
to when he gets there.
Oh, hell yeah!
That looks sick.
"All who enter
"in search of the Emerald Blade
will die a thousand deaths."
This is the place!
Ha-ha!
Next time, make your door out of
something stronger than skulls.
Echo!
Huh?
Die, creature of darkness!
Don't s-sneak up
on a battle dwarf, you fool.
I almost chopped you.
Oh, my God.
Did you just bury your axe
in the rock?
How strong are you?
Why have you been following me?
I was at the tavern
and I recognized you.
You are
the mighty Gilius Thunderhead.
I'm a huge fan.
You, Ax, and Tyris,
I mean, you're my heroes.
Go on.
Can I ask one question about Ax?
Does he put anything in his hair
to get that volume?
No, it's natural.
What do you want?
I was hoping
I could join your quest.
Go home, boyo.
I work alone.
But En-Nesryi says,
"The hero who quests alone
will die far from home."
Oh, you studied with En-Nesryi?
Yes, I majored in daggers.
Aah! Uh
It's hard to get them
to bounce like that.
You know what,
you can come with me.
In fact
why don't you go first?
Really? You won't regret this.
I'm Hampton, by the way.
Good for you.
Oh, man, my first real adventure!
Found the trap on the first try.
Have fun in the hole.
There is
a large dead snake down here.
Hello?
Aah! There's a bunch
of little alive ones, too.
Come on, I feel like you're
not even giving this a chance.
I'm not ignoring your suggestion.
I just think it's stupid.
Why does guarding the corridor
have to be boring?
We're reanimated skeletons.
We should lie on the ground,
pretend to be normal,
dead skeletons,
then when someone walks by,
we grab their ankles
and scare the crap out of them.
That is such
tiny skeleton thinking.
I'm normal-sized.
-You guys are huge.
-Oh, oh, oh.
Thanks for the helmet.
Guys, give it back.
-Pretend you're dead
-Give it!
And you can have it back.
Hey!
Why don't you pick
on someone my size?
What a couple of bullies.
Sorry those guys were being
so tough on you.
I know what it's like
to be disrespected
by your colleagues.
Like this one time,
Ax and Tyris
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!
I was on your side!
Stupid creatures of the dark.
Must be a hidden switch.
Ha! Easy.
Ah, damn it.
Yeah, I've got this.
Ah, dragon dick!
Okay, I need to be
a little bit faster.
A little bit faster.
Faster.
Got to go faster.
Ow!
Maybe slower.
Huh?
Ha-ha! I did it!
-What did I do?
-Hi!
Two switches.
Hardly even a puzzle, am I right?
I told you to wait
in the snake pit.
Checking for more traps?
Smart. If I've learned
anything today,
it's snake ribs
are nature's ladders, and
Go back to the pit.
Mean!
It wasn't a myth.
The Emerald Blade,
the Emerald Blade ♪
The Emerald Blade, the
Emerald Blade ♪
The Emerald Blade,
the Emerald Blade. ♪
Ye seek the blade, true,
but ye must taste
Moggabog's blood
before ye can possess it.
Almost forgot about
the 1,000-year-old troll.
Moggagabog, was it?
Moggabog.
Accent on the "bog."
Ha! I'm not learning
how to say that. Aah!
Taste my axe, troll.
Moggabog laughs at you.
Truly one
of the most pathetic creatures
Moggabog has ever faced.
Wait, how did you get past
the puzzle door?
It takes two people.
Not for me.
I work alone.
-Oh, that's sad.
-No, it's not.
But you're missing the best part
of being an adventurer.
The friendships
you forge along the way.
That can be a small part of it,
but there's also the money.
The money?
Oh, you are so, so sad.
Uh-uh, I'm not, I'm not sad.
You're the one that's sad,
down here all alone.
Not by choice.
Moggabog would love a companion.
But every time
Moggabog meets someone new,
he is forced to kill them.
But you,
you choose to be alone?
Are you crying?
No! Maybe.
It's just
Moggabog so lonely.
Gilius not sure
what to say right now.
Moggabog sorry.
That was building up for a while.
Okay. Okay.
Moggabog ready to eat you now.
-You need a second?
-No, no.
The devouring
of your flesh will cheer me.
Okay.
Die!
The Emerald Blade. ♪
Ha-ha!
Gilius! There was a boulder
by one of the switches.
I slid it over and
Did you kill a troll?
You do have a friend.
He's not my friend.
Please, let me
hold it for one second?
I just want to hack some rocks
or a bush or something?
The Emerald Blade isn't a toy.
Besides,
I need to get back to town
before Ax and Tyris
go after Death Adder.
You're gonna get back
together with them?
Is it because I helped you learn
the value of a good team?
Oh, they'll be the ones learning.
Learning how right I was
about the Emerald Blade!
Hyah!
Gentle villagers,
fear not, for this day,
I set out to defeat Death Adder.
Along with my loyal, brave
companions: Tyris Flare
And our valued third team member,
the brave and mighty warrior.
They must've seen me
riding into town.
I speak, of course,
of Chronos Lait!
That's me, baby.
Huh?
Thank you, thank you.
I look forward to saving
the kingdom.
And hey, keep a warm bowl of
milk ready for when I get back.
Lick, lick, kitty's gonna
be thirsty from kicking ass.
I leave for three days
and they replace me
with Chronos Lait?
He has zero battle skills,
he's just a cat man.
Sure, but he's got charisma.
Plus, he's a great dancer.
Scratch, scratch, shimmy ♪
Shimmy, do the Chronos. ♪
We will save Yuria!
Do the Chronos. ♪
They were my best friends.
And they just decide to replace
me with a dancing cat.
Panther man.
Oh, thank you for your devotion
to accuracy.
Do the Chronos. ♪
Whoa, looks like
you're taking your friends
replacing you with a cat man
pretty hard, eh?
Panther man.
You don't need
those lousy ex-friends.
You've got the Emerald Blade.
Oh, yes!
The legendary Emerald Blade.
It's useless.
It's so dull,
it can't cut butter.
You're still
the mighty Gilius Thunderhead.
And I'm the soon-to-be mighty
Hampton Squib.
Even if I were gonna go
after Death Adder,
I would never go with you.
Why not?
Because you're useless.
I've seen you in a fight.
No, you haven't.
True, but I imagined it.
You'll be dead
the first time we run
into any little creature
of the darkness.
Leave me be.
You know what?
You're a stinky, drunk asshole
with no friends, and
that mutant you ride is weird.
I may be an asshole,
but you're an untrained fool.
Your teacher, En-Nesryi,
I met him.
He was there one time
when I fought Death Adder.
He pissed his pants
and passed out in fear.
True story.
No wonder your friends
ditched you for a cat.
Panther man.
Help!
The village is under attack!
D-D-Death Adder's minions!
Ah, shit.
This town belongs
to the demon lord.
Supplicate yourselves!
-What do I do?
-Get in there and fight them.
Yes, sir!
Sir?
Damn right.
Oh, my back!
You don't throw someone.
That's disrespectful.
What are you gonna do about it?
I thought he was drunk?
Oh, he's extremely drunk.
Gilius!
Huh?
The Emerald Blade. ♪
That thing was dull.
Did you see that?
The Emerald Blade lit up.
What does it mean?
It means we can stab
our enemies in the dark.
And you might not be
totally useless on this quest.
So I'm coming, really?
The two of us
taking down Death Adder?
Yes, before anyone else does.
Is it a race?
Of course it's a race.
A race to save Yuria!
Hey, when the Emerald Blade
lit up,
do you think
it's because it chose me?
Ha! There's no such thing
as chosen ones.
If there were, they would have
at least gone through puberty
and not be some little boy.
I am a man!
And so begins the final quest
against Death Adder.
Fate has not chosen
who will prevail,
the armies of the damned
or the drunken battle dwarf
and his anxious virgin.
Either way,
Yuria will never be the same.
Gilius!
Gilius! Gilius!
The Emerald Blade
has been unearthed.
It can only be wielded
by the Chosen One.
Bring them to me.
Yes, my liege.
What do you think
they're laughing about?
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
Chirp.