Hell Motel (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[Engine rumbling]
♪
You see? See, I swear we drove
past that before.
Should I get the map?
You know where we are on the map?
No.
Neither do I. Like, uh, yeah.
I think we're gonna
have to stay out here tonight
and head to the cabin in the morning.
♪
What do you think?
I think there's a good chance
that it's a dump.
Yeah. I mean, then we'll leave.
But I need to make
sure I have enough energy
to do justice to our first night
together as husband and wife.
[Laughs]
Well, Cold River Motel, you have
got a lot to live up to.
[Laughs]
Let's go.
♪
[Thunder crashes]
♪
♪
[Engine shuts off]
♪
[Truck doors close]
♪
[Thunder rumbles]
It's strange having a hotel
in the middle of nowhere.
- It's so quiet.
- [Thunder rumbles]
Look, I don't feel good
about this place.
It looks okay.
If it's grim, we bail.
Promise.
[Bell rings, music playing on speakers]
Hello? Anyone home?
- Uh, sorry.
- [Chuckles]
Was getting a little busy back there.
Uh, we'd like a room for the night.
Okay. Yeah, sure.
I mean, can, uh, take your pick.
Uh
You have a honeymoon suite?
- Let's see.
- [Indistinct singing]
It's, uh, your lucky night.
Hey.
Uh, oh, you need a credit card
or something?
Oh, no. You guys take a load off,
and, uh, we can deal with
the paperwork in the morning.
♪
Oh, we have guests? Hello.
- [Door closes]
- Hi.
- Hey.
- [Music stops]
- Is that your truck outside?
- The newlyweds?
- Yes. That's us.
- [Both laugh]
What do you say we throw in
a free bottle of champers?
You can't start
your honeymoon without bubbly.
That would be criminal.
Thank you. That is very generous.
[Thunder rumbles, keys jingle]
I was a little worried when we drove up.
Other side of the world with nothing
- around for miles, I get it.
- Mm.
Now, you don't slip carrying
your bride over the threshold.
[Laughter]
I got it.
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Uh
- Yeah.
- Alright.
And, um, we will drop off your bottle
and an ice bucket in 10 minutes.
Let's go.
[Thunder rumbles]
[Dramatic music plays]
♪
[Door creaks]
♪
[Thunder rumbling]
♪
I love it.
[Chuckles] It's funny and dated.
- [Door closes]
- Eh?
So is the guy you married.
[Chuckles]
[Thunder rumbling]
Let's get these clothes off.
Oh, that's exactly what I was thinking.
Freshen up, you horndog.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Don't take too long.
We'll consummate our marriage and
make it all kinds of official.
[Rain falling]
I'm about to make that
very easy for you, Mr. Ridgeley.
Oh, that sounds good. That sounds good.
I, uh
I got a big surprise for you, honey.
A big one?
I've got a surprise for you, too.
Ooh!
[Knock on door]
Champagne's here.
[Dramatic music plays]
I think you got the wrong
- [Bottle shatters]
- [Groans]
♪
Caitlyn.
[Muffled] Caitlyn.
[Panting]
[Mumbling]
[Glass crunches]
[Groaning]
♪
[Groaning continues]
[Choking]
Okay, you dirty devil.
- [Thud]
- Caitlyn!
[Groaning]
♪
[Screaming]
♪
♪
♪
♪
So, I-I've seen photos
of your installations,
you know, and I know
you're re-creating crime scenes,
but you really do evoke the feeling
of what they're really like, you know?
That means a lot,
especially coming from someone
with your direct experience. Thank you.
You know, I read a paper on your work.
The blood and bones, that's all real?
- I don't fake anything.
- I don't think I should.
[Chuckles] Me neither, honey.
Every one of my oohs
and ahs is guaranteed legit.
So you've really slept
with all those serial killers?
Yeah. One away from a dangerous dozen.
You may have given birth
to Baphomet's baby
in "Doomed Service 4: Generations."
How I'd like to forget that movie.
But I screwed the actual druid.
Not the actual famous druid.
The original druid.
Those two kids were copycats. Yawn.
Hi. I don't think I know you.
Sorry.
- Oh.
- Okay.
[Squeaks]
- Crow.
- Hey.
I just like to feel the energy
of the place as we get close.
[Laughs] I feel it all over.
Guys, I cannot believe
we get to go to the place
where the Cold River Slaughter
took place.
Yeah, I've been studying the
events of that night for years.
Yeah, for me, I mean,
this place is right behind
the Polanski Tate mansion.
I mean, it's it's big.
Yeah, but they caught Manson.
Baphomet is still out there.
You cannot tell me that
that forestry guy, uh
- What's his name?
- David Rene.
Yes. You cannot tell me
he was the killer.
But then he killed himself.
Sounds guilty. What about you, Crow?
Forestry guy, trucker,
the local chief of police.
What's your theory?
I've long since shed theories.
I listen to the spirits,
and they're telling me
that this is going to be
a very challenging weekend for all of us
and that we'd best be ready
for unimaginable
- pain.
- [Laughs] Fucking A, Crow.
We didn't all sign up for
some shiny happy people shit.
I mean, look, we're rolling in
in a big-ass hearse.
How's that for a jinx?
[Laughs]
Wow, there it is.
♪
♪
♪
♪
- Oh, wow.
- Well, look at all these trees.
- I like it.
- Welcome, everyone.
We are so glad to have you here,
handpicked for our inaugural weekend.
Each one of you is a V.I.P.
of the true-crime scene,
whether it be podcasting,
movies,
academia,
art,
the spiritual,
or the experiential.
You are the best, the most devoted.
- The completely obsessed.
- [Laughter]
And we share that obsession
and can think of no one
who deserves to join us
for our opening weekend
more than all of you.
So welcome to the Cold River Motel,
proudly restored
to its true-crime glory.
- What do you want with these?
- Just inside.
Now, please follow us to check in
where star-crossed lovers
Joey and Caitlyn
first started
on their heartbreaking path.
To quote a little movie's
tagline, check in for the night,
but check out in a body bag.
[Laughs]
[Camera shutter clicks]
♪
Ah, thank you.
♪
[Birds chirping]
Thank you, JP.
You should get going
before that big storm hits.
Well, there's no cell service
out in the boonies,
and our landline has yet
to be installed.
Thank you, unreliable rural hell.
Our motel does have
satellite Wi-Fi all set up
so you can post
every last morbid morsel of fun
- we get up to this weekend.
- [Laughs]
It's so strange to be in the
real place after all the movies.
I mean, I've been here before,
just not really.
- You know?
- Art mirrors life.
Oh, shit!
- [Dramatic music plays]
- That's where Eric bled out.
Fake, obviously, in honor of
what was there.
Somebody knows their
Cold River murder facts.
- This is where it started.
- Eric, the owner, he got stabbed
and then made his way all
the way down to the basement.
God, imagine bleeding out for that long.
I actually don't have to.
I've lived through it.
Were there other bloodstains
that were still here
when you bought the place?
In some rooms, yes.
Was there any new evidence
uncovered during those renos?
Sadly, no.
Imagine if, by reopening the motel,
you close the circle and we
discover who Baphomet really is.
Now, that would be a benediction.
- The Wi-Fi, can we get the
- Okay, honeymoon suite.
I need to see the
[Indistinct talking]
[Dramatic music plays]
♪
♪
Three.
♪
Five.
♪
Caitlyn and Joey's honeymoon suite.
♪
♪
[Screaming]
- [Flesh ripping]
- [Crying]
[Screaming continues]
I'm too hot to die!
Cut!
That was incredible.
I don't know how you made
that line work, but you did.
Oh!
Oh, my God, do you need a minute?
No. I'm fine. I really am fine.
- Thank you. So it was good then?
- Are you kidding me?
Half of us are crying over there.
Oh, good. Good. Okay. Awesome.
Awesome. That's good to hear.
Okay, well, I'm good to go again.
- Yeah?
- Honestly, yeah, whatever you need.
You know, crying
and dying is easy for me, so.
[Laughs]
Fantastic. Okay, well, you heard her.
Let's do it again!
Thanks, guys.
♪
Hi.
So this is where it all happened.
- Worst art ever.
- Yep.
Pretty crazy to stand here.
That poor woman.
Playing her, I had to try and
imagine what it would have been
like, but actually being here?
I have no idea what the hell her
or any of them went through.
I mean, how could I?
We should probably get out of here.
- That lady
- Ruby?
I think she has a plan she
doesn't want us deviating from.
[Eerie music plays]
♪
[Rain falling]
♪
We are gonna start our weekend
with a scrumptious meal
by none other than chef of
three-star flesh and sinew
Hemmingway!
- [Laughs]
- Ooh!
- Aah! [Laughing]
- [Applause]
Bon soir, madames
and messieurs, please strap in.
♪
I've thought long and hard
about the kind of cuisine
that would do justice to the Cold River,
such a dark and storied place.
Then I realized there
could be nothing more resonant
than for us to eat
♪
[Guests gasping]
Caitlyn herself.
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
- [Gasps]
- This is messed up.
Unreal.
♪
Are you a leg man?
That was in bad taste.
Not to mention disgusting.
Everything you see is made of
the most delicious meats,
tofus, and grains.
- The leg is bone-in, naturally.
- [Camera shutter clicks]
The flanks are for vegans.
I'll be sticking to that, thank you.
Not me. Total carnivore over here.
Well, actually, exocannibalism
has been practiced
in every corner of the world.
Great power can be derived eating
the flesh of your enemies.
- Uh, Caitlyn was a victim.
- She's no one's enemy.
Of course not.
She's my favorite victim in the world.
- And we're both Capricorns.
- Oh!
[Chuckles]
The blood and body of Caitlyn.
[Chuckles]
♪
Ooh.
Mm.
Mmm. It's It's really good.
Oh, my God, guys, you have to try it.
- Mm?
- [Laughs]
This is incredible.
- Thank you, Caitlyn.
- Okay.
I'm not usually a lamb guy
but damn, this is good.
Mm. Who knew you could be
so delicious, girl?
[Laughs]
Oh, boy.
[Laughs]
[Thunder rumbling]
♪
Next, a blood palate cleanser.
- What?
- Wow, this looks so realistic.
Oh, my God.
- I don't drink, so I'll pass.
- Mm.
- How'd you get the viscosity?
- Corn syrup?
Corn syrup, how very dare you.
This amazing meal is just
the first of many special events
that Portia and I have
planned for you this weekend.
Next up, Crow is
going to lead us in a séance
in the very place
where the black celebration
happened 30 years ago.
A séance? I'm there.
Good because attendance is mandatory.
[Thunder rumbling loudly]
To the Cold River Slaughter clique.
Nothing but the best for the obsessed.
- [Laughs]
- [Glasses clink]
Cheers to that.
♪
- Mm.
- [Lips smacking]
♪
So metallic.
Seriously, how'd you make this?
There's a tiny bit of vodka in there.
The rest is 100% me.
My blood, that is.
♪
[Chuckling nervously]
- Get out of here.
- It's true.
You all just drank my blood,
my personal sacrifice.
- What?
- Are you crazy?
Do you know how unhygienic that is?
Jesus!
Do you know the health
of the animals you eat?
The ones you eat raw?
Your sushis, your beef tartare.
It's not the same thing.
You're damn right it's not
because I just gave you a piece of me.
And I, for one,
thank you wholeheartedly.
If this is what's
going to happen this weekend,
- just call back the limo.
- [Pounding on door]
Ah, speak of the devil.
Did anyone leave anything
in the stretch hearse?
Other than our common sense, no.
Hello?
Coming, JP.
Oh.
- Wow.
- [Door closes]
- Something dropped
- Hi.
Uh, c-can we come in?
It's a hurricane out there.
We are trapped.
Uh, I'm afraid that we
are closed for the whole weekend
- for a private event.
- Oh, okay.
The police scanner is saying
that the roads
and highways are impassable.
There's trees down, roads washed out.
- The bridge to Kenwood is gone.
- Yeah.
So we were just wondering if we could
Sorry. No vacancy.
As my partner said, this is
a private and exclusive weekend.
Um
Could we at least park our R.V.
in the back corner of your parking lot?
Just till the storm blows over?
The entire premises
are being used for the event,
so I'm afraid that's not possible.
- Okay.
- [Thunder rumbling]
Well, navigating that R.V.
on these roads isn't possible either.
I could barely see out the window.
Like, I-I wouldn't normally ask,
but we're stuck.
Fine.
But the motel itself is off-limits.
[Sighs]
You You won't even notice
we're there.
We have everything we need in the R.V.
And with that thunder, you
won't even hear Floyd snoring.
[Laughter]
- Happy camping.
- [Thunder rumbles]
Make sure it stays that way.
Sorry.
Every detail of the Cold River Motel
is a murderous experience.
Each murder room showcases
a quote from Dante.
"All hope abandon, ye who enter here."
- That feeling.
- Behind this door,
Baphomet stabbed
Kenny Vitelli with such vigor
that pieces of his skin
were found stuck to the ceiling.
Is this my room?
I'm down to trade
if it's someone else's.
The red doors are rooms where
the murders actually took place.
They're set aside as shrines.
No one sleeps in them.
♪
[Gasps]
♪
Look at that.
Is this thespot he was murdered?
- That spot exactly.
- How do you know for sure?
Well, the knife marks on the floor,
bloodstains in the wood.
Most people don't think about
these things
when they buy a property like this.
Okay. Say I gave you $100.
Do you think you
could just make an exception?
No.
These are art installations
by some of the world's
most edgy pop artists, including
one by our very own Kawayan.
Oh.
Please save the honeymoon suite for me.
It's a special, heartbreaking place.
♪
Our next event begins
in one hour in the basement
where Caitlyn was sacrificed.
Crow is going to lead us on a séance.
And hopefully we'll have
the chance to commune
with Caitlyn herself.
I have so many questions for her.
Paige, do you think
I could get some shots of you
in the honeymoon suite?
Like waking up pretending to be Caitlyn.
We have a Caitlyn costume at the ready.
We knew this would come up.
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
♪
Any questions?
♪
I guess you revamp
an old motel like this and that
touchy-feely, "I got ADHD"
wacko is the kind of person
you're going to get staying here.
We were a little wacko at their age.
[Laughs] Yeah.
But we refined as we got older.
That crowd looks
like it might stay that way.
[Laughs]
You weren't lying about that refinement.
[Knock on door]
That better not be that bossy
one asking us
to get out of Dodge after all.
- Hi. Can I come in?
- Yes.
It's so quick, quick.
- Hi.
- Hi.
[Door closes, thunder rumbling]
Call that little cutie Hoopoo.
[Laughs]
- Did you macrame it yourself?
- [Laughs] No.
No, I got it at a Sally Ann near Flint.
- Floyd and I grew up in Saginaw.
- Mm.
I love it in here.
It's so comfy and normal.
I'm a big fan of normal after today.
- So it's not just us?
- Your friends over there,
they're a little
They're not my friends.
They're not
We're, um We're up here for this
this special weekend.
In the middle of nowhere?
What am I missing?
You have no idea
what this motel is famous for?
It seems just like any other motel
from St. John's to San Diego.
True.
But if I said Cold River Slaughter,
does that ring any bells?
- Oh, yeah.
- That happened a long time ago.
I-I saw an episode about it
on some news magazine show.
Oh, my God, you're her.
You're that actress from the movies.
Oh, that's right,
we saw two of those on the TV.
- Uh, what are they called again?
- Uh, "Doomed Service."
- Yeah.
- Yes.
They're based on what happened
here 30 years ago.
That That happened here?
All those murders?
Jesus. I'm starting to regret
we turned down this road.
So what, this is some kind of
creepy pilgrimage?
That doesn't sound right.
Ruby and Portia
are relaunching the motel,
and they wanted us all up here
for its inaugural weekend
to get the word out, I guess.
So you are here to play the part of
Caitlyn Ridgeley, yeah.
Yeah, at the time.
Anyways, I was wondering
Once the roads are good, could
I catch a ride with you guys?
Even to the next town over.
I-I just feel really gross being here
and doing this, and I'm sorry.
I know you don't know me and I-I
know you're on your holiday.
- I'm I'm sorry.
- Of course.
Of course you can come with us.
Can't she, Floyd?
We'd be honored. [Laughs]
Friends back home are gonna
flip when they hear.
We have room. And you're right.
You should leave. It's not right.
Murder shouldn't be
some selfie-snapping joke.
I want to put everything
that's ever happened here
behind me for good.
♪
- Thanks for the tea.
- Things get weird,
- you run back here, okay?
- Okay.
[Rain falling, thunder rumbling]
[Gasps]
[Dramatic music plays]
♪
♪
[Screaming]
♪
[Screaming]
♪
- Cut!
- [Gasps]
What? What?
- [Cellphone chimes]
- What the Who the hell?
- [Gasps]
- And that is promo gold.
Exactly what we're paying you for.
Even to the final-girl fall
while being chased!
Bravissima!
- Whoo!
- [Thunder rumbles]
Of course, everything that happens
or is produced this weekend can
and will be used to promote
the Cold River.
Well, I know I didn't agree to that.
Small-print, folks. It's all in there.
There's no deception.
We give you an amazing
free weekend at the number-one
true-crime destination,
and you give us the right
to use whatever comes up
for promotional purposes.
Typical influencer engagement contract.
- I'm not an influencer.
- Neither am I.
But I'll take the publicity.
Yeah, you scratch
my back with a butcher knife,
- I'll scratch yours.
- Awesome.
And good for you, Kawayan.
I mean that, but I work in academia.
Which is notoriously boring.
So I can't be seen screaming down a hall
wearing some true-crime cosplay
to shill for a motel.
Then why did you even come here?
Obviously, poor shrubs,
I'm good with it.
I came for access for my research.
Right.
So you can put us all
under a microscope dish
in some masturbatory essay
so you can snag some big grant.
Yeah, yeah, my big academic exposé
on a desperate chef flogging
some tacky gimmick to hide the fact
that when his food isn't
too dry, it's way too salty.
Look, are you okay
with them using you like this?
Mocking you to promote this place?
They chased you with a knife.
I run from knives for a living.
Yeah, on your movie set, sure,
but you're
You're being paid to be here.
Sorry. What?
Are you telling me I cooked
an entire meal gratis
while the washed-up scream queen
here charges a fee?
For what? Shaking her tits?
Hey, watch it, asshole.
Oh, well, I suppose she's
got to make a living somehow.
It's not like the old career
is tearing along, eh?
Hey, she's a freaking legend.
Yes, a legend for looking great naked
while covered in blood.
At least she did when she was 19.
I read about the new flick,
how they're reimagining
the "Doomed Service"
franchise without you.
I know, but
I'm afraid all that Botox
and whatever else
you've done or are planning on doing
is not going to make you young
or relevant again.
I'll just be in my room.
♪
You are a grade-A piece of shit.
Yeah, she can act a lot better
than you can cook.
Oh, right, now
everybody hates my cooking.
But it's true. You know it, I know it.
Even she knows it.
You have the sensitivity
of a psychopath.
I thought that's
what turned you on, baby.
Unfortunately for you, I don't bed women
whose body count is made up
exclusively of serial killers.
And you want to know why?
Because that kind of trophy sex
usually means
[whispering] crazy.
♪
I've had enough
of this pathetic weekend.
As soon as the road's clear,
I'm going to hitch a ride back to town
with the normies in their R.V.s.
Oh, and by the way,
ladies, if anyone deserves
to be paid for this weekend,
it's Hemmingway.
Put that in your fucking promo video.
♪
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
[Thunder rumbling]
♪
[Sobs]
♪
Oh!
♪
[Knock on door]
♪
[Thunder rumbles]
Hey.
You alright?
Sure. Yeah.
I'm used to being a big joke.
Hemmingway's an idiot. Forget him.
I can't escape her.
I begged the director of those movies
to cast me in his new indie, but
- No luck.
- Zero.
I try. I keep trying. But this
The only paying gig
I can get is was her.
You know, way back,
I knew I shouldn't have taken that part,
but I was 17
and I was kicked out of my house
and I needed the money.
Look, if any of us
had our high school jobs filmed,
- we'd be embarrassed.
- Well, I was naked for mine,
so nobody takes me seriously.
And nobody wants
a 30-something final girl.
Okay, you know, older people, they get
- killed all the time.
- [Both laugh]
Worst part is being here,
doing this, it it's just
more disrespect for Caitlyn.
Yeah. It's, uh, it's weird.
I mean, she wasn't even the
only person who died that night.
Yeah, it's the usual bullshit.
The same sexist,
woman-hating rumors about her.
She was on a honeymoon with
a guy she left her husband for.
So that makes her a slut.
And she was wearing lingerie,
so that meant I had to be totally naked.
Yeah, it's all, uh, pretty crass.
Yeah. You know, the awful thing is,
the real Caitlyn was
a sweet woman finally out
of a bad marriage, back
with her high-school sweetheart.
And they got one night together.
Not even that.
Yeah, her second chance.
God knows I know what
needing one of those feels like.
It's just so sad and so wrong.
Thanks.
[Thunder crashes]
[Dramatic music plays]
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
[Dial clicking]
♪
[Crackling]
♪
Mm.
♪
Oh, Ruby. That is so sad.
♪
Spoiler alert
I'm not a sucker like your
horror mascot in there.
♪
[Grunts]
♪
[Padlock clicks]
♪
[Scoffs]
[Sarcastically] Oh, ooh!
Oh, so scary. Look at me. I'm shaking.
[Laughs]
This weekend is just a joke.
And so is this motel.
I'm going to burn it all down online.
[Scoffs]
Fuss if you want.
I'm not even looking. [Sniffs]
[Dial clicking]
It's Hemmingway time.
♪
[Door closes]
♪
"No one thinks of
how much blood it costs."
'Cause that's what I want to
read on my motel room door.
[Chuckles] It's from Dante's "Inferno."
They're all quotes from that.
And the quote for
a night here is 335 buckaroos.
And it's funny because I don't remember
receiving $335 from you.
You both have been right generous,
allowing us to park on your lot,
but you see,
the thing is that the R.V. park
we were supposed to
overnight at, they have showers,
and we're not carrying enough water.
So we were we were just wondering
No. No way. Not this weekend.
But we promise
the showers will be even cleaner
than before we stepped in.
They'll be as clean
as they are now because
Unless you're a paying guest,
you're not stepping into one of them.
Alright.
Well, that's a pretty expensive shower.
Hey, don't use up all the hot water.
Room 4.
And stay away from the guests.
- Oh.
- [Laughs]
"If the present world goes astray,
the cause is in you."
You girls might want to take
that one to heart.
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
[Coals crackling]
[Sniffling]
[Grunts]
♪
♪
Damn it, it's hot.
[Sniffles, grunts]
[Inhales, exhales deeply] Right. It's
♪
[Door jiggling]
Ruby, you've had your fun.
Alright? Open the door.
I'm getting light-headed.
[Knocking on door]
Ruby!
No. I'm serious! I-I-I feel sick.
Just
This heat is not good for the brain.
[Kicks door]
[Door jiggling]
Ruby!
♪
Okay, look.
I'll be nicer. Okay?
I-I'll even give the place
a glowing review.
Just open the goddamn door!
[Pounding on door]
Get me out of here! Open the door!
- [Pounding on door]
- Ruby!
Hey! Let me out of here!
Ruby, for fuck's sake!
Let me out!
♪
♪
[Glass squeaking]
[Gasps]
♪
[Grunting]
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
We know this symbol or we think we do.
We call it a pentagram,
when in fact it's a pentacle.
We associate it with Satan, dark magic,
when, in fact, its original intent was
to protect the bearer from evil spirits
while alluring good ones.
Like the spirit of our innocent
sister, Caitlyn Ridgeley
♪
who we will strive to commune with,
seeking to answer the question
we all want to know
Who was the all-too-human demon
that slaughtered Caitlyn
and seven others
30 years ago?
♪
I call upon you
to aid me in summoning forth
Caitlyn.
Caitlyn.
Caitlyn Ridgeley, we summon you.
Come to us from the other side.
Tell us who struck you down.
Caitlyn, why won't you cross
over to this plane?
♪
One of our tribe is missing.
Hemmingway.
We're better off without him.
No. No. Everyone must be here.
If the circle is not closed,
Caitlyn's spirit might get confused.
I saw Mr. Hot Air heading
towards the sauna.
♪
♪
♪
Hemmingway, I hope you're decent.
Hemmingway, are you in there?
♪
[Screaming]
- Hello?
- Hemmingway!
[Screaming]
Ruby?!
♪
- What's going on?
- Guys?
Hey!
Ruby. What's going on?
- What the hell is happening?
- I found Hemmingway in there.
I'm calling him, but he won't answer.
- Why is there a lock on it?
- Who would lock him in?
Okay, we got to pry this lock off.
I got it.
♪
- Come on, bastard!
- [Wood creaking]
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- [Coughs]
♪
♪
- That wasn't an accident.
- He was left in there to cook.
We don't know that, friend.
What the hell are you on?!
He reached through five inches of cedar
and then and then what?
Put a padlock on there?
Perhaps the padlock was on the outside.
- He closes the door shut
- Okay, we don't have a padlock
- on our sauna.
- Why would we?
Look, was this just another
one of your sick jokes that
went wrong, like when you chased
Paige through the woods?
- Show us your phones.
- Why?
To see if you were trying
to scare Hemmingway
for likes on your socials.
- We wouldn't do this.
- But how do we know that?
Because we're not murderers.
It would ruin our business.
If you went too far.
Huh? How are we supposed to believe
some sick, murder-obsessed freak
Don't you talk to her like that!
Look, there's nothing on this, okay?
- But there's no Wi-Fi signal.
- What?
- What?
- He's right.
- Fuck!
- There's nothing. I got nothing.
Oh, God. The satellite is out.
Okay, I'm gonna try
to reboot the router.
This is feeling very familiar for me.
Okay? Hey, I don't trust you.
And I sure as shit do not trust you.
Look, I know we're outsiders,
but you need to stop pointing fingers
and get the cops out here right away.
Do you know how to fix a satellite or,
like, hook up a landline?
Okay. No, I didn't think so.
The roads are all closed anyway,
- so no one would even get in.
- Look.
We can load everyone into our R.V.
and and head off someplace safe.
It'll be slow going, but
[Explosion, all exclaim]
- Oh, my God!
- [All clamoring]
[Fire roaring]
Hell!
You still think this is
a fucking accident?!
Maybe.
[Sobbing]
♪
Concupitio mala, tu nequamquam
dilige Christum.
Daemona secteris, nec pete salvifcum.
Despicias, rogo te, Christum,
nec tempore toto.
Conspice praesentem te fore judicio.
♪
[Groans]
♪
♪
♪
[Shing]
[Gasps] No. No!
♪
Veridicos preme, nec laudes,
sed carpere gesta.
Quaerito cujusvis, non tua respicias.
Dispereas male, ne quaeras
tu coelica, verum.
Crimine frangaris, ne fuge delicias.
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
It's happening again.
♪
Do you think the original
murderer has come back?
One of those people killed the chef.
Maybe we have a copycat.
[Screams]
Come on!
One of you is a killer.
- [Grunts]
- [Screams]
I'm not insane.
Drop the knife!
Let me out!
♪♪
Oh, mighty Satan.
♪♪
Time to begin.
Sub extracted from file & improved by
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