House of Stassi (2026) s01e01 Episode Script
Ghosts of Past, Present, & Future
1
[soft music]
♪
- Oh, my gosh,
this background--
are you joking?
There's a fog machine, OK?
Shit's premium over at Disney.
- House of Stassi
A and B common mark.
- Oh, I guess.
I mean, 'cause someone
might be turning on Hulu,
and they're like,
hmm, that girl's pretty.
I think I'll watch this.
Who is this bitch?
I'll tell you who I am.
[dramatic music]
PAPARAZZI:
Stassi!
Most people know me from eight
seasons of Vanderpump Rules.
Stassi was a fan favorite
from the beginning.
- She is a constant
of reality TV.
- Why have I seen
Vanderpump Rules
3 or 4 times now?
It's because
of Stassi Schroeder.
- I had a big mouth--
ALEX: No one was more iconic
than Stassi.
- Just the shit you said
was, like, so gold.
- Oh, my God, I mean
- She comes to life
in that moment.
I am the devil,
and don't you forget it.
- I was kind of a villain.
- Stassi, you ain't have
to slap Kristen like that.
Y'all saw how
she slapped that girl?
STASSI:
But a lot of people loved it.
- Nothing compares to
slap heard 'round the world.
- I will always come back
for Stassi Schroeder.
That's my bitch.
- And then
[singers vocalizing]
REPORTER: Stassi and Kristen
are out at Vanderpump Rules.
Stassi apologizes
for her behavior
towards former co-star
Faith Stowers.
- About nine weeks
into my pregnancy,
I got canceled
and fired from, like,
99% of the jobs I had.
I had a lot of time
to look in the mirror,
and I didn't like a lot
of the things that I saw.
When I hit what felt like
rock bottom, I had a choice.
And I chose to recognize
the part I played into it.
I'm not exactly Stassi
from Vanderpump Rules anymore.
Everyone shut the [bleep] up.
I'm never [bleep] wrong.
I'm a little bit.
You want a hug?
- I do.
STASSI: I worked really hard
to start over.
Wait, watch this.
And I'm really excited
to show everyone who I am now.
I'm Kris Jenner.
You're Kylie.
- [laughs] No!
STASSI:
And I wouldn't be here
without the people
that I love.
- Let's do this!
STASSI:
[laughing] OK.
And now Disney is giving me
another shot.
I mean, like, I demanded
to have another shot.
But truly, that is the only way
to get a television show made
nowadays.
I'm not joking.
They reunited me with Lisa
on Vanderpump Villa.
- It's disgusting. Try it.
STASSI: And they let me shoot
some test footage
for my own show.
But I know better than anyone
that being on a reality show
forces hard truths to surface.
And that's exactly
what happened.
- This might be
a [bleep] shit show.
- You kind of sound
like an ungrateful wench.
- What?
- You did. Schoolgirl, please.
I'm [bleep] annoyed.
- Shut the [bleep] up.
I didn't narc you out.
- [bleep] my ass.
STASSI:
Whoa.
Not everybody is cut out
for this life.
And by putting my friends
and family in the spotlight
- Don't [bleep] project
things that I have told you
in private, that's--
- This is what
we [bleep] signed up for.
I am risking everything
that matters to me.
I don't want this
to be the end,
but I can't be around it.
If you didn't want this life,
then [bleep] leave.
♪
That was a lot.
- Um, I think we should start
at the test shoot, right?
- Yeah, but people need
backstory--
context, you know?
And it's good drama.
So test shoot.
I vote test shoot.
[singer vocalizing]
[bell dings]
You look so normal right here.
And then when I get
a glimpse of this side
- I know.
- It's like a whole new,
like, Walking Dead disease,
like--
- Wait, ready for, like,
the full impact of it?
STASSI:
No.
Ew!
- My dad's an eye surgeon,
so obviously, we called him,
and we're like,
how does this happen?
He said lifting heavy things
or straining when you poop.
- That's it.
You were pooping.
- Five years.
Honestly, it kind of feels
like I never left.
[bell dings]
- My #Goals?
Um, I just want to be
Kris Jenner.
She's always there.
It's like she's both
present with her kids
and also a hustler.
And that's what I want to do.
I want to have my hands
in a million different things,
all doing it with my family.
I've just created,
like, a mini cult.
And I'm at the center of it
because I've brought
everyone together, you know?
- [sputtering]
I'm inhaling this.
STASSI:
Beau is my husband.
He takes care of our house.
He does 50/50 with the kids.
Without him, I would just be
a disaster in designer shoes.
- Well, no, I don't--
I don't cook meals.
I mean, I don't feel
like that's a secret.
He does meals.
He does drop-off
every single day at school.
I pick Hartford up once or
twice a week from the school.
[bell dings]
Georgi loves spooky things too.
- Oh, please.
- Georgi is my little sister.
She's kind of like
a starving artist,
but zero practical skills.
She could use
a little more structure.
I just spent 20 minutes trying
to cover up all my psoriasis.
I look like I have a drug van
in the middle of the desert.
- You wear psoriasis well.
- I do wear psoriasis well.
- You really do.
Taylor Strecker is my best
friend in the whole world.
Like, the second
that we met each other,
like, over 10 years ago,
it was like soul mate vibes.
She's a podcaster,
and we tour together,
so she's basically
like my work wife.
And she also has
a real life wife who I love.
- Yeah.
We were together
a total of eight years.
I had no idea
I was, like, gay at all.
[laughs]
I thought I was straight
my whole life.
I just, like,
wanted to kiss her.
I didn't want to, like,
go [bleep] on her.
But I found out that
when you're a lesbian,
you do have to do that.
So I put
my big girl panties on,
and I [bleep].
♪
- Here we go.
All right, I got my bottle.
Where's everybody else's?
[laughs]
- Rob is Beau's best friend.
He is almost 50
and still going out with,
like, 20-year-olds.
And he claims he's trying
to find a wife
and that he wants kids.
But like, I don't know
if I believe it.
- You should be proud of me,
eating this.
- Georgia is Beau's sister
who is from Italy.
She likes to stay with us
for an extended period of time
when she's on vacation.
- How much ketchup do you--
do you want to make soup?
- I mean, I want it
to be American.
I'm trying.
- Georgia is obsessed
with Beau.
- [speaking Italian]
- I'm going.
BEAU: OK.
We have the same birth father.
I only knew about her
when I was 21.
You know, it's like,
when she sees me,
she's like, my brother.
And then[whooshes]
It's like glue.
STASSI:
Georgia and Beau are close--
as in, Georgia wants
to be near Beau at all times.
When we're out, she tries
to hold hands with him.
They literally,
like, look like
they're walking like a couple.
And they have each other's
names tattooed on themselves,
so you know, not weird at all.
That little [bleep] name
on his arm
would not only blow up
a whole barbecue, but like,
nearly cause
an international incident.
- Can we talk about Italy?
♪
STASSI: OK, so here we go--
Italy, Vanderpump Villa.
What you're about to see
is about tattoos,
but it's also not really
about tattoos, OK?
[tape whirring]
[dramatic music]
[bell dings]
You can get my name under
that basic ass [bleep] tattoo.
I'm supposed to be number one.
BEAU:
Hold on.
- You feel safe with me.
I can make you feel unsafe.
- This is wild.
When I go back to our room,
it's like--
PERSON:
She's gonna, like, unleash?
TEDDY:
What happened in Italy
made me really, really
uncomfortable.
I feel like we didn't get
the acknowledgment that,
like, hey, I'm sorry
this might have upset you guys.
- No, I'm sorry.
I just didn't--
I didn't know that y'all cared.
What was so triggering?
Just storming off?
- Yeah, storm off,
and then, like, for me--
- Me just saying,
I'm gonna divorce him?
[tense music]
♪
- Did you say that?
TEDDY: Did you say that?
- I said that to Taylor.
TAYLOR: Yeah.
ROB: Oh.
TAYLOR: I didn't tell anybody.
- I didn't know that.
STASSI:
I literally--I mean
ROB:
But you didn't have to.
That's the point.
Like, you could tell
when you left,
like, it was not good.
- May I say something?
GEORGIA: And then
I want to say something.
- No, I want to say something.
If you were married to someone
and had two of his children,
and he looked at you and said,
no, I'm not gonna get
your name tattooed,
then imagine.
- I didn't say it like that.
I didn't say--
- Imagine that.
- I didn't say no.
- I'm trying to put myself in--
- I was good enough to have his
two children and get married,
but I draw the line
at a tattoo.
GEORGIA:
It was bad.
STASSI:
No, it was bad.
It was like, we were up,
like, all night.
GEORGIA:
I wanted to cry, like--
- I didn't know that a fight
between me and my husband
could affect so many people.
It sounds like they need
to get some hobbies.
Take up tennis.
Learn to bake sourdough bread.
Knit.
- We'd sometimes try to, like,
shove therapy
down your throats.
- But so does Beau.
Everyone's trying to shove it
down our throats.
TEDDY: But it's like I really--
and I'm not--
- I'm not shoving it
down your throat.
- You're not trusting
each other in some way.
And that's a therapy thing.
- It just seems like
men haven't really been
very trustworthy in your life.
- It's about him saying yes.
I don't--I wanted you
to be like--
- But God forbid that one
moment where that triggers you
again, and then
it launches up that same--
because we do repeat.
- Then just say yes,
knowing that
I'm never gonna follow up.
- Yes. Yes.
- This feels
[bleep] ridiculous,
if I'm gonna be honest.
I'm trying to be understanding
because everyone's feelings,
like, I care about them.
But like, I'm just having to,
like, take a bunch of beatings.
It feels incredibly directed
GEORGIA: No, no way.
- Towards me.
- No way.
- Like he's getting off--
TAYLOR: Stass.
TEDDY: What did I say?
- No, no, no, no, no.
STASSI: It's not directed
towards him.
You're never gonna look at him
and ask him what he's
doing wrong, Georgia.
GEORGIA:
No, I will--every time.
You can ask him.
STASSI: It is a thing.
- Stass, I don't think that.
STASSI:
It's a thing.
GEORGIA:
I don't think so first.
STASSI: But it's not about
anything that you're doing.
So you can't tell me
what it's about because
it's not about you because--
GEORGIA: I'm not able
to make it that big.
Like, I'm trying to--
- Well, I'm able
to make it that big.
TAYLOR:
But it's not--
GEORGIA:
You know what I mean?
I said to him,
if I ever see you,
I said to him
when we were talking,
acting bad with Stassi--
- All right, I'm gonna--
Yeah, I feel like
this conversation
is reigniting
the frustration from Stass.
STASSI:
No, it's OK. We're fine.
- And then we're gonna get into
another fight when we go back.
- No, no. We're not.
BEAU: Because I'm already
feeling the tension,
and I'm like,
do not want to go home
or you're gonna start, like--
- No, just trust.
- This is [bleep].
STASSI:
Why is this all coming at me?
Yeah, I know I'm tough.
But when it's my best friends
and my family,
acting like the last
five years of my life
hadn't happened,
and like, I haven't
tried to be the best version
of myself that I could,
that hurts.
And that gets inside my head
and just makes me feel
like, [bleep],
am I still the problem?
- Yeah, but why--
but see the thing--
- Yeah, but--
- But that's not my--
that's your--
- I don't--but I'm--
how am I not answering?
- How am I sitting there
like a wounded animal?
I'm listening
to everyone's conversation.
That was the whole point.
STASSI:
After that, I was like,
OK, if we get greenlit
and this show moves forward,
that can't happen again,
like, ever.
- Yeah.
[dramatic music]
Like, I don't feel like
I've done anything wrong.
- I'm worried
about your relationship.
- He's afraid of you.
- Everyone shut the [bleep] up!
Everyone hit me where it hurts.
- That's not what
we meant to do, Stassi.
STASSI:
Oh, my God.
I never want to see you again.
Now, how we got to this fight,
that story starts
after the break.
[bright music]
♪
[bell dings]
- Obviously.
Hello.
That's what we're doing now.
[dramatic music]
♪
- It should have been
a warning,
but that is exactly why
I wanted to start there, OK?
This show has been a dream
for me and everyone else.
I know that, like,
things are gonna get crazy.
But they have me
to guide the way.
♪
Work is busier than ever,
which is why I am
on my way to Vegas
to headline
for Alex Cooper's show.
And if you don't know who
Alex Cooper is, Google her.
She is a big [bleep] deal.
I don't normally go
on private jets.
I'm really glad
I'm the first one here
so that I can, like,
start acting normal,
like I belong here,
like I do this all the time.
Because if I walked
on the plane
when everyone was already
here, I'd be like,
how do people act
on private jets?
I feel like I'm one step
closer to becoming
my idol, Kris Jenner.
[bleep], I jinxed it.
Knock.
[knocking]
What the [bleep]?
People just, like,
live like this all the time?
I feel really lucky
that I have a husband
who isn't working right now
because I need someone
who is at home,
very present with the kids
because I'm saying yes
to everything right now,
and I'm living out my dreams.
[choir vocalizing]
♪
[bell dings]
- Messer, can you do this?
Shoulders up, like this,
bounce with shoulders?
- What, you don't
like dance parties?
Celebrate.
BEAU:
OK, good listening.
- Costume. Great.
- Um
- [screaming]
[scream echoing]
- I'm asleep. Good night.
HARTFORD:
Wake up! Wake up!
- It's complicated.
- Hello.
STASSI: Oh, [bleep].
- [bleep].
Twinsies.
Bitch stole my look.
- No, I'm the trench girl.
I'm the trench girl.
- Yes, you did.
- I'm Stassi Schroeder's
best friend,
soul mate, everything.
- Trench coats never
go out of style.
I'm sorry.
- Classic.
- I stand with my choice.
- I agree.
- I just wish
we weren't matching.
- I agree.
My first impression of Stassi
when I met her was that
she was so much nicer
than I thought she was gonna be
because she was a psychopath.
And then when I got
to know her, I was like,
oh, good, that little psycho
lives inside of her still,
which I love, because,
like, nice is boring.
You're a nervous flyer?
- I don't know.
I just feel like more plane
crashes happen on private jets.
- Please, do not.
[lively music]
♪
[bell dings]
- Good.
I feel like it's gonna be easy
because the Mormon Wives
are great.
Tonight, me and Taylor
are going to be
interviewing the Mormon Wives,
whom I love.
- I need to go check
on something.
I'll be back.
- OK.
- The Mormon Wives are shady
and sneaky, and they're sober.
It's crazy.
God, at this point,
do I want a drink?
- Where's Stassi?
PERSON: Huge.
This--
STASSI:
Hello.
Alex Cooper is the biggest
female podcaster in the world,
to the point where she can
throw these festivals in Vegas.
And honestly,
the merch is so soft.
[bell dings]
You have to tell me what part
of your life is suffering.
I know--I know a part
of your life is suffering.
- Stop.
- I could list all the things
that I'm suffering.
I'm a horrible friend.
I'm a shit sister.
My husband wishes
I had sex more.
- I--my health is bad.
- OK, see?
That makes me feel
so much better.
Imagine if, like, something
wasn't suffering, like,
and she's just, like,
no, everything's great--
like, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, me too.
- I'm so happy for you
because you are someone
who has been
the most consistent.
Like, the brand has shifted
from the Pinot grigios
and, like,
calling someone a bitch.
You have grown.
- Thank you.
- It's true.
You're not, like,
afraid to be imperfect,
which is why I think
people love you.
[soft music]
- Thank you.
The cancellation
is always there.
It's always looming.
But there is another
layer to me now.
I am so much more thoughtful
than I used to be,
and I think
I'm more empathetic,
and I like that about myself.
[dramatic music]
I do Vegas different now.
I'm a working mother
in Vegas now, OK?
I'm stopping by
Paris Hilton's pool party
with my Mormon Wife girls.
I love them.
I feel like
I'm their big sister,
and I take that role
very seriously.
- This wind is nuts.
- It's insane.
- I know.
- My hair looked so cute.
It looked so cute.
But what the [bleep]?
Hi.
Next stop is headlining
the main event.
I love this for me, especially
if I don't get booed.
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
Stassi Schroeder.
- Oh, my God, this is
my Taylor Swift moment.
TAYLOR: Let's give it up
for the Mormon Wives.
[cheering]
- We wanted to break the ice
with a little light game.
- Never have I ever slapped
someone in the face.
- OK, it feels like these
questions are for me.
- And I don't regret it.
I didn't get booed.
I'm in the zone, OK?
And now, drinks
with the Disney family,
because, you know,
synergy loves a Pinot grigio.
- I'm just in love with you.
- Our Louisiana princess.
- We're all
Louisiana princesses.
- We are.
[bell dings]
- This very moment in time
is the start of, like,
a new [bleep] life.
I came, I saw, and I slayed.
And when I have time,
I check in with Beau.
BEAU:
How was last night?
- It was awesome.
- You guys,
this is your chair.
Go sit.
No hitting.
It's not your turn.
It's my turn.
Talk to her for one second.
HARTFORD: No!
BEAU:
Fine.
Here, here.
[child crying]
- You're a king.
But I need to tell you
something.
Can you call the planner today
about the Halloween party?
- Guys. Yeah.
STASSI: Every time I FaceTime
with Beau and the kids,
I'm like, damn,
I married the right man.
- You guys, Messer,
this is your deal.
Stop.
- Holy shit.
BEAU: No, it's not
your turn, honey.
[child crying]
- I love you.
- I love you.
- Don't forget,
call the planner.
[laughs]
Bye.
Like, I know
it must be overwhelming
for him to be in the house
so much,
but like, historically,
men have had a great run
outside the house.
It's our turn now.
[bell dings]
Before I fly home,
I am having lunch
with Jessi from Mormon Wives.
- Cutie.
- How are you?
- Jessi is just the best.
I met her in Italy when
I was on Vanderpump Villa,
where she had
a lot of [bleep] fun.
And honestly,
her life changed forever.
[bell dinging]
I love hanging out with Jessi
whenever I can.
Plus, this is an excuse
to have drinks at lunch.
Thank you.
[laughs]
- I have tea for you.
STASSI: What?
- About Scheana.
TAYLOR:
Go, please.
- I can't get away
from this woman.
Scheana will 100% show up at my
funeral and make it about her.
- She told me that
she's, like, walking away
from Bravo completely.
And then she goes,
so do you have
any, like, events coming up?
Like, I--like,
Brock was Mormon.
And like, maybe I could
come, like, be on your show.
- Brock is not Mormon.
- Or grew up Mormon.
- Scheana loves the spotlight.
I would be more surprised
if she didn't try
to get on Secret Lives
of Mormon Wives.
I feel like I'm just so excited
to be filming something
- Yes.
- That is with the people
that I love the most.
My sister, me and Tay, Kristina
Kelly, and maybe Katie.
- And Katie.
- You're joking.
STASSI: Katie Maloney--
we were best friends.
But over the last few years,
Katie and I had
a weird falling out.
After getting canceled,
I noticed Katie was
so incredibly wrapped up
in herself.
And I started dreading
being around her.
So that's why I of just, like,
ghosted the friendship.
And I haven't had
a serious conversation
with her in a year and a half.
It just felt like we had
nothing in common anymore,
nothing to bond us.
- Yeah.
- But I've gotten
to the point now--
and I think she has too--
we're just, like,
overdue to get out
what we want to say
and, like, try
and rebuild something.
Hanging out with other people
who are on reality TV,
that just, like,
get me and this world,
it makes me look
at my friends and family
and be like, oh, I don't know
that they're ready for this.
I miss my ride or die,
Katie Maloney.
And some people might say,
oh, that's convenient timing.
And they would be correct.
But also, there's a lot
more to it than that.
I invited her--so I'm having
a Halloween party.
If you're in LA, feel free.
- [laughs]
- - Hopefully it goes better
than my Halloween party
I threw last year.
- Me too.
Like, I've been wanting
to get closer to her again,
mend our friendship.
And what better way to do that
than my very own TV show?
[singer vocalizing]
[dramatic music]
♪
- My kids are gonna want
nothing to do with me.
I am a Halloween girlie.
I think it's because
I'm from New Orleans.
We're spooky,
us New Orleans people.
- Did you do anything scary
last Halloween?
- Last Halloween,
we were all ghosts.
Every year, I like to throw
a Halloween party.
And the last time that
this crew was on camera
was the barbecue, OK?
So what happened there better
not happen this time around.
BEAU:
Yeah.
That's gross.
- Would you still want
to get it on?
[quirky music]
- Yes.
- Really?
- You can turn the lights off.
Before I met Stassi,
I was a great session director
in casting.
And I was also acting
in a lot of commercials.
- She was funny,
and she was sarcastic.
And I couldn't stop
being around her.
I needed her, and--
[trilling]
Here we are.
- I still can't believe
my sister is, like,
staying with the Taylors
right now and that
the first time
I'm gonna see her is at
my [bleep] Halloween party.
Sister relationships can be
[bleep] challenging.
When we were in England
for Vanderpump Villa--
OK, this is now the second time
drama went down with my family
at the villa.
So, like, maybe the villa
is the villain--
Georgi dropped
this bomb on us.
- So you know how
we've been, like,
talking about us moving to LA?
We bought tickets last night.
We were hoping
we can stay with you.
- Sorry.
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
Georgi told me that she was
gonna move into my house.
The thing about it
that set me off
was there was no conversation
or call of, like,
hey, would this work?
I'm just expected
to change my life?
I had nothing!
I had nothing, and still,
everyone [bleep] needs
something from me.
Georgia is already staying
with us right now
because Beau
can't say no to her.
Let's be real.
But Georgi is now staying
with my best friends.
Make that make sense.
You know,
Katie's coming tonight.
- Oh, I didn't know that.
- I think
her boyfriend is also.
BEAU:
OK. What is she wearing?
- I don't know.
I haven't been asking people
what their costumes are.
- Maybe she's wearing,
like, an ego bubble.
- Um, I'm not a fan.
- I'm nostalgic.
And I do appreciate
having a friendship
that goes back many years.
This is why I invited her
to the Halloween party.
BEAU: Stassi told me
that she wants Katie
to do the show with us.
I'm very protective of my wife,
and I know how, after
spending time with Katie,
how it made my wife feel,
and it didn't make her
feel good.
And I just don't want
that to happen again.
STASSI:
I want to--
- Rekindle that friendship?
- I want to try.
I want to try.
[dramatic music]
♪
[bell dings]
♪
BEAU:
Oh, my God.
- It's insane.
BEAU:
I had no idea.
- I'm very impressed
by how this came out.
TEDDY:
Isn't it good?
- Good, right?
I know it's bubonic plague,
but like,
Blake Lively is, like,
the bubonic plague of our time.
So I decided that
I am on theme.
- This is--
TAYLOR:
I'm like, this body--
STASSI:
I'm--this is incredible.
TAYLOR:
Teddy is 31 weeks pregnant.
She's been ready for this
since the day she was born.
Touch it.
- Are you freaking out?
- Touch it.
- I can't breathe
through my nose,
but I'm getting used to it.
You're like
a bubonic plague skank.
- Ho.
- Yeah.
- Then you should
just, like, wipe off
the lipstick, like you were
just giving a--you know,
like a bubonic BJ.
- A bubonic blowie.
- A bubonic blowie!
[dramatic music]
♪
BEAU: All right,
there's some people.
- Oh, my God.
BEAU:
Oh, it's your sister.
- It's been two months since
I have really spoken to Stassi.
Honestly, I'm scared.
I'm hurt.
And I just don't know
how it's gonna go.
Hey, bitch.
I actually really love
your costume.
So hi.
♪
Hi.
You look beautiful.
[squealing]
I don't want to get you blue.
- I wouldn't want to put boils
on my face, but that's just me.
- It's my [bleep]
Halloween party.
What are you doing,
coming in here
looking better than me?
- The whole point of Halloween
is to be the baddest bitch.
I [bleep] ate it.
I ate it to a T.
Stass, you're jealous.
I'm sorry.
But I painted myself
[bleep] blue for a reason.
I won.
Yeah.
[singers vocalizing]
♪
STASSI:
Katie's here.
Seeing Katie walk in,
I don't know,
it kind of makes me nervous.
[bell dings]
KATIE:
So Stassi called me
to come be a part of this show
that she's doing.
But it's a little strange
under these circumstances,
because we haven't
really spoken
or seen much of each other
in years.
I'm hurt.
And I'm sure
she's probably hurt.
And I don't know
what's gonna happen.
♪
[wolf howling]
[dramatic music]
[bell dings]
STASSI:
Katie just got here.
And I'm trying to just
figure out how to play this.
There's a lot I want
to get off my chest.
And old Stassi
would do just that.
But I am new Stassi.
And I'm trying to keep it cute,
like, as cute as I can be
with boils on my face.
BEAU:
Oh, shit, it's Katie.
- I'm so happy.
- That'll be the problem.
- Yeah.
I have a little PTSD from
those two on Vanderpump Rules.
So if Katie comes on here,
is this gonna, all of a sudden,
make my wife start acting like
how she was on Vanderpump?
Are we gonna go back in time?
♪
- I know what
I have to say first.
I'm into this satanic shit.
[singers vocalizing]
[bell dings]
- Um
♪
Well, this is awkward.
Thanks.
- The dark shit.
- Well, his isn't
as much, but--
- Yeah. Cool.
- Thank you for coming.
- I mean, yeah.
- [laughs]
- You guys look so loved up.
- Because we are.
- Because we are, yes.
KATIE: I'm feeling
cautiously optimistic.
If Stassi didn't want
to see me or talk to me,
she wouldn't have invited me.
- I'd like to one-on-one.
- But there's
an elephant in the room.
Yeah.
- [laughs]
STASSI:
This Halloween party is, like,
not the place to be, like,
unpacking the history
of me and Katie's friendship
and how we got here.
You know, I'm not upstaging
the Black Death.
Can we meet tomorrow
and have a real chat?
- OK. All right.
STASSI:
Let's just have fun tonight.
KATIE: Where's Beau?
- He's in there.
Y'all go get a drink.
♪
- Last time I saw Stassi was
at Vanderpump Villa in London.
We got in a huge fight.
My feelings were hurt.
I don't know
how she's gonna react.
I can stay optimistic, hoping
that she'll hear my side,
but who [bleep] knows, right?
I was literally
looking for you.
I walked right past you.
Can we talk?
- Yeah.
GEORGI: OK.
- Yeah.
I will be back.
- Perfect place.
Sorry, I'm annoying.
- This conversation
with my sister,
it's like weighing on me.
And it didn't need to be.
She could have called me.
She didn't.
She wants to have
this conversation here.
And she's all blue.
And it's just kind of
[bleep] overwhelming.
- So I just have,
like, a letter.
- I don't know
that I can do this.
You really wrote
a [bleep] letter?
- Yes, because I can't
think straight
- When I'm arguing with you?
- Yeah, for some reason.
- I know. I do that to people.
OK, Edgar Allen Poe,
like, what?
So dramatic.
Ugh.
- [clears throat]
My dearest Stass,
I've been wanting to talk
about what happened between us
at the Villa in London.
Being accused of not helping
with the kids really got to me.
- You don't ever
actually [bleep] help.
- Second, I opened up to you
about my insecurities,
like divorce,
where I'm at in life,
dating, and all of it.
And it hurt to feel like
those things were
used against me
in moments of anger.
Lastly, I realized
when I mentioned
staying in LA with you,
it might have triggered
some feelings around money
or responsibility.
- She [bleep] ChatGPT'd
this shit, didn't she?
- I want to be clear.
I would never want
to take advantage of you.
And I'm truly sorry if I ever
made you feel that way.
I miss feeling like each
other's safe space and sisters,
and I hope we can rebuild that
with honesty, compassion,
and understanding.
Love you always, Georgianna,
your bitch ass sister.
- Did Chat write that?
Did you write that?
- Um, I wrote it.
Also, the Taylors helped me.
And then Chat polished it.
- And then Chat helped.
This is gonna sound harsh,
but like,
this sounds like a you burden.
[dramatic music]
- OK, I hear you.
And here she goes again.
I'm speaking from the heart,
and she shoots me down.
It's so [bleep] up.
When I come to you
with all my insecurities,
I'm coming to you as
my big sister, like, hey,
I'm not telling everybody.
These things that I only
come to you and cry about,
and then you go on the Villa
and then tear me a new one
when I tell you--
[voice breaking] I just want to
be near you to live with you.
♪
STASSI:
I needed to just stop you.
You're doing this victim thing
again right now,
even in the way that you're
wording this, being like,
I just want to be near you
and be your sister.
- But I do.
- But it's not that
I'm using your insecurity--
don't you [bleep] cry.
♪
- I'm not crying.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, I'm--
- Your eyes are shining water.
Just you--you know
how to wrap this up
in a way where I just
feel like the menace.
I feel like the monster,
like I'm just mean to you.
- And I'm not trying
to make you feel like that.
- I don't feel like
you've ever thought through
any of the choices
that you make.
And so I feel like I constantly
have to figure it out for you.
And I'm already
figuring it out for myself.
And I'm figuring it out
for my children.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes
I'm figuring it out for Beau.
[scoffs]
So it's not that
I was using your insecurities.
It's like,
I was just stating facts
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
- That you don't like.
- Yeah.
- No, I'm not resolved.
My feelings weren't validated.
And instead,
she put it back on me.
I definitely feel like
it's not over.
- But I'd like you
to come to our house.
- I want to.
STASSI:
Because it is embarrassing
that you're staying
with my friends.
GEORGI: I want to be nice
to each other.
I just want to be nice.
I want to work it out.
I want to--
- OK.
I do too.
[bleep] loser.
- I'm a loser.
STASSI: It can be really
exhausting and tiring
to take care of so many people.
I mean, that is why I'm
taking my friends and family
and putting them on this show
so that they can
level up their lives.
And then we can all become
rich and famous together,
you know, like the Kardashians.
But no one is contributing
like Kim and Khloe.
And that's partially
why I need Katie back.
This conversation is
a really big deal.
I'm either gonna walk away
with a best friend back
or another ghost in my closet.
[singer singing in Italian]
♪
[dramatic music]
STASSI:
I'm going in to meet Katie,
and I am really nervous,
because I know that
I also played a part in this.
And I hope that
we can get to a place
where, like, we want to be
closer and move forward.
And I want her on this
show journey with me.
♪
KATIE:
Stassi was[sighs]
I hate to use--I hate even
using the term "was--"
my best closest friend
for many, many years.
She was a bridesmaid
in my wedding.
I'm the godmother
to her daughter, Hartford.
She even came on my honeymoon.
So to not have her
present in my life
feels like a massive void.
- We're at the Belmont.
KATIE:
It feels like I never left.
So Stassi has this new show,
and I know she wants me
to be a part of it.
But I'm hesitant,
because I spent 11 years
being on reality TV.
I lived a whole lifetime
on television.
And I was just excited
to be away from all that.
And on top of that,
Stassi and I
still have a lot to talk about,
like why she ghosted me.
We haven't--
- It's [bleep] that we--
yes, in a while,
in a very long time.
- Yeah, and normally
in the past,
if we hadn't done in a while,
I would know why.
- Yeah.
- I've been writing stories
in my head,
so I would love to know,
like, what your thoughts are.
- It felt like every time
we were together--
and I was fired
and just had a baby.
So, like, I'm in this place
of just being like,
what is my life?
You never wanted to hear
about my life.
You never wanted to hear
about Beau.
You never wanted to hear
about, like, Hartford.
It was just, you wanted to talk
about Vanderpump Rules.
And it felt like any time
I wanted to say anything,
you were not listening.
I felt like I was
being talked at.
There was one time
I cried to you.
Like, we were sitting
at my dining room table,
and I cried to you.
It was about postpartum stuff.
And you were on your phone
and just scrolling,
and then you were like,
look how far
the sandwich shop is coming.
And I was just like,
holy [bleep].
Like, I feel like a loser.
I feel like a [bleep] loser.
Like, she's not
listening to me.
I actually don't think
she [bleep] cares.
- I don't remember
that instance.
[tense music]
- Well, yeah, that's the point.
You wouldn't remember because
you were never listening.
KATIE:
Throughout our friendship,
I always had been
ride or die for you.
And you bringing up
the Vanderpump Rules of it all,
that was my whole life.
I didn't know anything else.
And you should know that,
that like,
when you're in it, it's deep.
- I loved Vanderpump Rules.
I didn't choose to leave,
so like,
to hear about it all the time,
that hurt.
And then when you had
your birthday party
and you invited [bleep] Scheana
to your dinner and not me,
I was like,
if I'm being honest,
I felt relieved,
because I'm like,
you did it for me.
Thank you for giving me
this reason to ghost,
because that was
a slap in the face.
Katie, historically,
has not liked Scheana.
So to invite someone that
you do not even care for
and not your best friend,
it was absolutely [bleep]
wild and shocking.
She knew what she was doing
the second she invited Scheana.
Give me a [bleep] break.
It was like, I don't want this
to be the end.
But I can't be around it.
- So cutting me out--
STASSI: I don't--no.
- And just taking away
the friendship was the answer.
- At the time, I don't feel
like you could have handled it.
- But I also feel like
that's unfair
because I feel like regardless
of whether I can take it
or not, I'm owed it.
And you just make your world
smaller and smaller
and smaller, to the point where
it's like, if, I don't know,
they didn't come out of you,
or they're not married to you,
or they're not on
your [bleep] payroll,
they don't get to be
in your life.
[bell dings]
STASSI:
Damn, this bitch is good.
And that's the type
of truth-telling
we need on reality TV.
I need her to do this show.
[dramatic music]
- You want to say
that I'm self-absorbed
and my opinions that matter,
but it's like,
unless it fits into your world
and it works for you,
then it can't be a part of it.
You know, this may be hard
for Stassi to hear,
but unlike other people,
I'm not scared
to tell Stassi the truth.
So this is really a test
to see if Stassi has changed,
because the old Stassi
would verbally annihilate me
right now, and I can see
the wheels start to turn
in her head.
[bell dings]
Do you understand?
It goes both ways.
- I hear you.
I shouldn't have ghosted you.
That is on me.
That's on me.
I feel like
we're hearing each other.
She knows where she went wrong.
And I was not right
to ghost her.
But now I feel like we can
put all of that behind us
and just move forward.
- I've had, like,
godmother guilt
over, like, the years
because I've missed out
on this--a lot of this chapter
of your life, Hartford's life.
Like, Messer, I don't know him.
And that makes me really sad.
Like with you, it's like
you're, like, someone that
I'm like, I always want
in my life, so
- [bleep].
Me too.
[singers vocalizing]
Me [bleep] too.
KATIE:
Well, I'm still here.
- No, I'm still here.
- That's the good news.
- Well, I'm here now.
- OK, well,
I've always been here.
I was just waiting
for you to call me.
- It feels like
a huge weight is lifted.
But we shall see
if we can get to, like,
this, like, real,
deeper friendship.
But there is something I want
to ask her before she leaves.
- I feel like I've just been
a very different person,
especially post
Vanderpump Rules.
- I loved Vanderpump Rules.
But it also was literally
what we're gonna have
PTSD about
and have to talk
to therapists about
for the rest
of our [bleep] lives.
- And they're gonna have
no idea
because they cannot relate.
- No, they cannot relate.
It was always,
make the girls look psychotic.
Make the girls
like they have issues.
They covered for the boys.
They covered
for the [bleep] men.
I have mixed feelings
about Vanderpump Rules.
Like, I'm so
appreciative of it.
And it's given me
so many opportunities.
But, like, it normalized
so much darkness.
It rewarded so much darkness,
until it didn't.
And then coming back
to reality TV, I'm like,
are you being a dumb bitch?
I'm scared of reality TV.
But it's all I know.
And I love it.
But I'm also traumatized by it.
But I can't stay away from it.
But I was not gonna let
Vanderpump Rules be my legacy.
I had to make this happen.
I had to.
- It was really shitty
a lot of the times.
But I don't regret it.
I don't know.
- You got to go out a hero.
- It only took 11 years
to get there.
- That's true,
but that's pretty major.
I went out a loser,
a flop doodle.
- You went out a flop doodle.
That's hilarious.
- I'm glad that,
like, there's been
this period of time
for both of us to just
become ourselves.
- Yeah.
- I know you are enjoying
your life off of reality TV,
but do you want to do this?
KATIE: This conversation
obviously is a huge reminder
of how difficult things
have been in the past,
sharing your life on television
in front of cameras.
But I just feel like
this conversation
is just proof that Stassi and I
can do this together.
Yeah.
- I'm so glad.
- I'm very happy that
I'm back in Stassi's life,
and we're gonna work
on our friendship.
But I'm still hesitant
about reality TV.
- Stassi and Katie
in their early 20s,
now Stassi and Katie
in their late 30s.
- Stassi and Katie 2.0.
- Yeah, 2.0.
I'm really happy that Katie
decided to be in this with me.
This time I get to go back
and do it but on my terms.
It is literally
my dream come true.
This cannot fail.
- I'm glad that we get
another opportunity, though.
- Yeah. I love you.
But I'm also
a little apprehensive
about how Beau is gonna
feel about this.
I think he's just like,
I don't know.
Does she still suck?
But I feel like
this time around, like,
Katie's gonna have my back.
I'm surrounded by
everyone I love now.
What could go wrong?
TAYLOR: This season on
House of Stassi
- I don't want to ever be
put in a situation
like Villa again.
- I'm scared.
You're making me feel like
Stassi's a serial killer.
- Should I make
a necklace for you?
- No. Are those teeth?
STASSI: Having a show
for my friends and family
and doing it right was
my biggest dream.
- Mom, I've literally
[bleep] girls [bleep].
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm just saying.
- I'm wearing no underwear.
- Don't you just, like, have
some leakage sometimes?
- No.
My vagina is not leaking.
- Do you have a therapist?
- No.
And somehow,
this turned into a nightmare.
- And the way that Katie's,
like, entered the chat.
- Why didn't you pick up
the phone and call me?
- I had a child.
- And I was going
through a divorce!
- You're insane!
- Being canceled,
that could have destroyed us.
- I met up with Stassi
the other day.
I'm feeling, like,
buyer's remorse.
This is exactly
the kind of shit
I was trying to get away from.
- Don't you dare do this.
- The rest of our
professional lives
is just whatever Stassi says,
that's what we do.
- I just literally feel
like a 1950s housewife.
- Beau, this is what happens
in a marriage.
- I don't know what you think
makes you a [bleep]--
- Because I have
a [bleep] life.
- Having kids?
- I am doing
the best that I can.
- It's not good enough for me.
STASSI:
I'm gonna throw up.
- You want to break
the fourth wall?
Watch me have a great time.
STASSI: Go away!
- That's not what we're saying.
- I can't handle it.
And you remind me of it
all the time!
[soft music]
♪
- Oh, my gosh,
this background--
are you joking?
There's a fog machine, OK?
Shit's premium over at Disney.
- House of Stassi
A and B common mark.
- Oh, I guess.
I mean, 'cause someone
might be turning on Hulu,
and they're like,
hmm, that girl's pretty.
I think I'll watch this.
Who is this bitch?
I'll tell you who I am.
[dramatic music]
PAPARAZZI:
Stassi!
Most people know me from eight
seasons of Vanderpump Rules.
Stassi was a fan favorite
from the beginning.
- She is a constant
of reality TV.
- Why have I seen
Vanderpump Rules
3 or 4 times now?
It's because
of Stassi Schroeder.
- I had a big mouth--
ALEX: No one was more iconic
than Stassi.
- Just the shit you said
was, like, so gold.
- Oh, my God, I mean
- She comes to life
in that moment.
I am the devil,
and don't you forget it.
- I was kind of a villain.
- Stassi, you ain't have
to slap Kristen like that.
Y'all saw how
she slapped that girl?
STASSI:
But a lot of people loved it.
- Nothing compares to
slap heard 'round the world.
- I will always come back
for Stassi Schroeder.
That's my bitch.
- And then
[singers vocalizing]
REPORTER: Stassi and Kristen
are out at Vanderpump Rules.
Stassi apologizes
for her behavior
towards former co-star
Faith Stowers.
- About nine weeks
into my pregnancy,
I got canceled
and fired from, like,
99% of the jobs I had.
I had a lot of time
to look in the mirror,
and I didn't like a lot
of the things that I saw.
When I hit what felt like
rock bottom, I had a choice.
And I chose to recognize
the part I played into it.
I'm not exactly Stassi
from Vanderpump Rules anymore.
Everyone shut the [bleep] up.
I'm never [bleep] wrong.
I'm a little bit.
You want a hug?
- I do.
STASSI: I worked really hard
to start over.
Wait, watch this.
And I'm really excited
to show everyone who I am now.
I'm Kris Jenner.
You're Kylie.
- [laughs] No!
STASSI:
And I wouldn't be here
without the people
that I love.
- Let's do this!
STASSI:
[laughing] OK.
And now Disney is giving me
another shot.
I mean, like, I demanded
to have another shot.
But truly, that is the only way
to get a television show made
nowadays.
I'm not joking.
They reunited me with Lisa
on Vanderpump Villa.
- It's disgusting. Try it.
STASSI: And they let me shoot
some test footage
for my own show.
But I know better than anyone
that being on a reality show
forces hard truths to surface.
And that's exactly
what happened.
- This might be
a [bleep] shit show.
- You kind of sound
like an ungrateful wench.
- What?
- You did. Schoolgirl, please.
I'm [bleep] annoyed.
- Shut the [bleep] up.
I didn't narc you out.
- [bleep] my ass.
STASSI:
Whoa.
Not everybody is cut out
for this life.
And by putting my friends
and family in the spotlight
- Don't [bleep] project
things that I have told you
in private, that's--
- This is what
we [bleep] signed up for.
I am risking everything
that matters to me.
I don't want this
to be the end,
but I can't be around it.
If you didn't want this life,
then [bleep] leave.
♪
That was a lot.
- Um, I think we should start
at the test shoot, right?
- Yeah, but people need
backstory--
context, you know?
And it's good drama.
So test shoot.
I vote test shoot.
[singer vocalizing]
[bell dings]
You look so normal right here.
And then when I get
a glimpse of this side
- I know.
- It's like a whole new,
like, Walking Dead disease,
like--
- Wait, ready for, like,
the full impact of it?
STASSI:
No.
Ew!
- My dad's an eye surgeon,
so obviously, we called him,
and we're like,
how does this happen?
He said lifting heavy things
or straining when you poop.
- That's it.
You were pooping.
- Five years.
Honestly, it kind of feels
like I never left.
[bell dings]
- My #Goals?
Um, I just want to be
Kris Jenner.
She's always there.
It's like she's both
present with her kids
and also a hustler.
And that's what I want to do.
I want to have my hands
in a million different things,
all doing it with my family.
I've just created,
like, a mini cult.
And I'm at the center of it
because I've brought
everyone together, you know?
- [sputtering]
I'm inhaling this.
STASSI:
Beau is my husband.
He takes care of our house.
He does 50/50 with the kids.
Without him, I would just be
a disaster in designer shoes.
- Well, no, I don't--
I don't cook meals.
I mean, I don't feel
like that's a secret.
He does meals.
He does drop-off
every single day at school.
I pick Hartford up once or
twice a week from the school.
[bell dings]
Georgi loves spooky things too.
- Oh, please.
- Georgi is my little sister.
She's kind of like
a starving artist,
but zero practical skills.
She could use
a little more structure.
I just spent 20 minutes trying
to cover up all my psoriasis.
I look like I have a drug van
in the middle of the desert.
- You wear psoriasis well.
- I do wear psoriasis well.
- You really do.
Taylor Strecker is my best
friend in the whole world.
Like, the second
that we met each other,
like, over 10 years ago,
it was like soul mate vibes.
She's a podcaster,
and we tour together,
so she's basically
like my work wife.
And she also has
a real life wife who I love.
- Yeah.
We were together
a total of eight years.
I had no idea
I was, like, gay at all.
[laughs]
I thought I was straight
my whole life.
I just, like,
wanted to kiss her.
I didn't want to, like,
go [bleep] on her.
But I found out that
when you're a lesbian,
you do have to do that.
So I put
my big girl panties on,
and I [bleep].
♪
- Here we go.
All right, I got my bottle.
Where's everybody else's?
[laughs]
- Rob is Beau's best friend.
He is almost 50
and still going out with,
like, 20-year-olds.
And he claims he's trying
to find a wife
and that he wants kids.
But like, I don't know
if I believe it.
- You should be proud of me,
eating this.
- Georgia is Beau's sister
who is from Italy.
She likes to stay with us
for an extended period of time
when she's on vacation.
- How much ketchup do you--
do you want to make soup?
- I mean, I want it
to be American.
I'm trying.
- Georgia is obsessed
with Beau.
- [speaking Italian]
- I'm going.
BEAU: OK.
We have the same birth father.
I only knew about her
when I was 21.
You know, it's like,
when she sees me,
she's like, my brother.
And then[whooshes]
It's like glue.
STASSI:
Georgia and Beau are close--
as in, Georgia wants
to be near Beau at all times.
When we're out, she tries
to hold hands with him.
They literally,
like, look like
they're walking like a couple.
And they have each other's
names tattooed on themselves,
so you know, not weird at all.
That little [bleep] name
on his arm
would not only blow up
a whole barbecue, but like,
nearly cause
an international incident.
- Can we talk about Italy?
♪
STASSI: OK, so here we go--
Italy, Vanderpump Villa.
What you're about to see
is about tattoos,
but it's also not really
about tattoos, OK?
[tape whirring]
[dramatic music]
[bell dings]
You can get my name under
that basic ass [bleep] tattoo.
I'm supposed to be number one.
BEAU:
Hold on.
- You feel safe with me.
I can make you feel unsafe.
- This is wild.
When I go back to our room,
it's like--
PERSON:
She's gonna, like, unleash?
TEDDY:
What happened in Italy
made me really, really
uncomfortable.
I feel like we didn't get
the acknowledgment that,
like, hey, I'm sorry
this might have upset you guys.
- No, I'm sorry.
I just didn't--
I didn't know that y'all cared.
What was so triggering?
Just storming off?
- Yeah, storm off,
and then, like, for me--
- Me just saying,
I'm gonna divorce him?
[tense music]
♪
- Did you say that?
TEDDY: Did you say that?
- I said that to Taylor.
TAYLOR: Yeah.
ROB: Oh.
TAYLOR: I didn't tell anybody.
- I didn't know that.
STASSI:
I literally--I mean
ROB:
But you didn't have to.
That's the point.
Like, you could tell
when you left,
like, it was not good.
- May I say something?
GEORGIA: And then
I want to say something.
- No, I want to say something.
If you were married to someone
and had two of his children,
and he looked at you and said,
no, I'm not gonna get
your name tattooed,
then imagine.
- I didn't say it like that.
I didn't say--
- Imagine that.
- I didn't say no.
- I'm trying to put myself in--
- I was good enough to have his
two children and get married,
but I draw the line
at a tattoo.
GEORGIA:
It was bad.
STASSI:
No, it was bad.
It was like, we were up,
like, all night.
GEORGIA:
I wanted to cry, like--
- I didn't know that a fight
between me and my husband
could affect so many people.
It sounds like they need
to get some hobbies.
Take up tennis.
Learn to bake sourdough bread.
Knit.
- We'd sometimes try to, like,
shove therapy
down your throats.
- But so does Beau.
Everyone's trying to shove it
down our throats.
TEDDY: But it's like I really--
and I'm not--
- I'm not shoving it
down your throat.
- You're not trusting
each other in some way.
And that's a therapy thing.
- It just seems like
men haven't really been
very trustworthy in your life.
- It's about him saying yes.
I don't--I wanted you
to be like--
- But God forbid that one
moment where that triggers you
again, and then
it launches up that same--
because we do repeat.
- Then just say yes,
knowing that
I'm never gonna follow up.
- Yes. Yes.
- This feels
[bleep] ridiculous,
if I'm gonna be honest.
I'm trying to be understanding
because everyone's feelings,
like, I care about them.
But like, I'm just having to,
like, take a bunch of beatings.
It feels incredibly directed
GEORGIA: No, no way.
- Towards me.
- No way.
- Like he's getting off--
TAYLOR: Stass.
TEDDY: What did I say?
- No, no, no, no, no.
STASSI: It's not directed
towards him.
You're never gonna look at him
and ask him what he's
doing wrong, Georgia.
GEORGIA:
No, I will--every time.
You can ask him.
STASSI: It is a thing.
- Stass, I don't think that.
STASSI:
It's a thing.
GEORGIA:
I don't think so first.
STASSI: But it's not about
anything that you're doing.
So you can't tell me
what it's about because
it's not about you because--
GEORGIA: I'm not able
to make it that big.
Like, I'm trying to--
- Well, I'm able
to make it that big.
TAYLOR:
But it's not--
GEORGIA:
You know what I mean?
I said to him,
if I ever see you,
I said to him
when we were talking,
acting bad with Stassi--
- All right, I'm gonna--
Yeah, I feel like
this conversation
is reigniting
the frustration from Stass.
STASSI:
No, it's OK. We're fine.
- And then we're gonna get into
another fight when we go back.
- No, no. We're not.
BEAU: Because I'm already
feeling the tension,
and I'm like,
do not want to go home
or you're gonna start, like--
- No, just trust.
- This is [bleep].
STASSI:
Why is this all coming at me?
Yeah, I know I'm tough.
But when it's my best friends
and my family,
acting like the last
five years of my life
hadn't happened,
and like, I haven't
tried to be the best version
of myself that I could,
that hurts.
And that gets inside my head
and just makes me feel
like, [bleep],
am I still the problem?
- Yeah, but why--
but see the thing--
- Yeah, but--
- But that's not my--
that's your--
- I don't--but I'm--
how am I not answering?
- How am I sitting there
like a wounded animal?
I'm listening
to everyone's conversation.
That was the whole point.
STASSI:
After that, I was like,
OK, if we get greenlit
and this show moves forward,
that can't happen again,
like, ever.
- Yeah.
[dramatic music]
Like, I don't feel like
I've done anything wrong.
- I'm worried
about your relationship.
- He's afraid of you.
- Everyone shut the [bleep] up!
Everyone hit me where it hurts.
- That's not what
we meant to do, Stassi.
STASSI:
Oh, my God.
I never want to see you again.
Now, how we got to this fight,
that story starts
after the break.
[bright music]
♪
[bell dings]
- Obviously.
Hello.
That's what we're doing now.
[dramatic music]
♪
- It should have been
a warning,
but that is exactly why
I wanted to start there, OK?
This show has been a dream
for me and everyone else.
I know that, like,
things are gonna get crazy.
But they have me
to guide the way.
♪
Work is busier than ever,
which is why I am
on my way to Vegas
to headline
for Alex Cooper's show.
And if you don't know who
Alex Cooper is, Google her.
She is a big [bleep] deal.
I don't normally go
on private jets.
I'm really glad
I'm the first one here
so that I can, like,
start acting normal,
like I belong here,
like I do this all the time.
Because if I walked
on the plane
when everyone was already
here, I'd be like,
how do people act
on private jets?
I feel like I'm one step
closer to becoming
my idol, Kris Jenner.
[bleep], I jinxed it.
Knock.
[knocking]
What the [bleep]?
People just, like,
live like this all the time?
I feel really lucky
that I have a husband
who isn't working right now
because I need someone
who is at home,
very present with the kids
because I'm saying yes
to everything right now,
and I'm living out my dreams.
[choir vocalizing]
♪
[bell dings]
- Messer, can you do this?
Shoulders up, like this,
bounce with shoulders?
- What, you don't
like dance parties?
Celebrate.
BEAU:
OK, good listening.
- Costume. Great.
- Um
- [screaming]
[scream echoing]
- I'm asleep. Good night.
HARTFORD:
Wake up! Wake up!
- It's complicated.
- Hello.
STASSI: Oh, [bleep].
- [bleep].
Twinsies.
Bitch stole my look.
- No, I'm the trench girl.
I'm the trench girl.
- Yes, you did.
- I'm Stassi Schroeder's
best friend,
soul mate, everything.
- Trench coats never
go out of style.
I'm sorry.
- Classic.
- I stand with my choice.
- I agree.
- I just wish
we weren't matching.
- I agree.
My first impression of Stassi
when I met her was that
she was so much nicer
than I thought she was gonna be
because she was a psychopath.
And then when I got
to know her, I was like,
oh, good, that little psycho
lives inside of her still,
which I love, because,
like, nice is boring.
You're a nervous flyer?
- I don't know.
I just feel like more plane
crashes happen on private jets.
- Please, do not.
[lively music]
♪
[bell dings]
- Good.
I feel like it's gonna be easy
because the Mormon Wives
are great.
Tonight, me and Taylor
are going to be
interviewing the Mormon Wives,
whom I love.
- I need to go check
on something.
I'll be back.
- OK.
- The Mormon Wives are shady
and sneaky, and they're sober.
It's crazy.
God, at this point,
do I want a drink?
- Where's Stassi?
PERSON: Huge.
This--
STASSI:
Hello.
Alex Cooper is the biggest
female podcaster in the world,
to the point where she can
throw these festivals in Vegas.
And honestly,
the merch is so soft.
[bell dings]
You have to tell me what part
of your life is suffering.
I know--I know a part
of your life is suffering.
- Stop.
- I could list all the things
that I'm suffering.
I'm a horrible friend.
I'm a shit sister.
My husband wishes
I had sex more.
- I--my health is bad.
- OK, see?
That makes me feel
so much better.
Imagine if, like, something
wasn't suffering, like,
and she's just, like,
no, everything's great--
like, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, me too.
- I'm so happy for you
because you are someone
who has been
the most consistent.
Like, the brand has shifted
from the Pinot grigios
and, like,
calling someone a bitch.
You have grown.
- Thank you.
- It's true.
You're not, like,
afraid to be imperfect,
which is why I think
people love you.
[soft music]
- Thank you.
The cancellation
is always there.
It's always looming.
But there is another
layer to me now.
I am so much more thoughtful
than I used to be,
and I think
I'm more empathetic,
and I like that about myself.
[dramatic music]
I do Vegas different now.
I'm a working mother
in Vegas now, OK?
I'm stopping by
Paris Hilton's pool party
with my Mormon Wife girls.
I love them.
I feel like
I'm their big sister,
and I take that role
very seriously.
- This wind is nuts.
- It's insane.
- I know.
- My hair looked so cute.
It looked so cute.
But what the [bleep]?
Hi.
Next stop is headlining
the main event.
I love this for me, especially
if I don't get booed.
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
Stassi Schroeder.
- Oh, my God, this is
my Taylor Swift moment.
TAYLOR: Let's give it up
for the Mormon Wives.
[cheering]
- We wanted to break the ice
with a little light game.
- Never have I ever slapped
someone in the face.
- OK, it feels like these
questions are for me.
- And I don't regret it.
I didn't get booed.
I'm in the zone, OK?
And now, drinks
with the Disney family,
because, you know,
synergy loves a Pinot grigio.
- I'm just in love with you.
- Our Louisiana princess.
- We're all
Louisiana princesses.
- We are.
[bell dings]
- This very moment in time
is the start of, like,
a new [bleep] life.
I came, I saw, and I slayed.
And when I have time,
I check in with Beau.
BEAU:
How was last night?
- It was awesome.
- You guys,
this is your chair.
Go sit.
No hitting.
It's not your turn.
It's my turn.
Talk to her for one second.
HARTFORD: No!
BEAU:
Fine.
Here, here.
[child crying]
- You're a king.
But I need to tell you
something.
Can you call the planner today
about the Halloween party?
- Guys. Yeah.
STASSI: Every time I FaceTime
with Beau and the kids,
I'm like, damn,
I married the right man.
- You guys, Messer,
this is your deal.
Stop.
- Holy shit.
BEAU: No, it's not
your turn, honey.
[child crying]
- I love you.
- I love you.
- Don't forget,
call the planner.
[laughs]
Bye.
Like, I know
it must be overwhelming
for him to be in the house
so much,
but like, historically,
men have had a great run
outside the house.
It's our turn now.
[bell dings]
Before I fly home,
I am having lunch
with Jessi from Mormon Wives.
- Cutie.
- How are you?
- Jessi is just the best.
I met her in Italy when
I was on Vanderpump Villa,
where she had
a lot of [bleep] fun.
And honestly,
her life changed forever.
[bell dinging]
I love hanging out with Jessi
whenever I can.
Plus, this is an excuse
to have drinks at lunch.
Thank you.
[laughs]
- I have tea for you.
STASSI: What?
- About Scheana.
TAYLOR:
Go, please.
- I can't get away
from this woman.
Scheana will 100% show up at my
funeral and make it about her.
- She told me that
she's, like, walking away
from Bravo completely.
And then she goes,
so do you have
any, like, events coming up?
Like, I--like,
Brock was Mormon.
And like, maybe I could
come, like, be on your show.
- Brock is not Mormon.
- Or grew up Mormon.
- Scheana loves the spotlight.
I would be more surprised
if she didn't try
to get on Secret Lives
of Mormon Wives.
I feel like I'm just so excited
to be filming something
- Yes.
- That is with the people
that I love the most.
My sister, me and Tay, Kristina
Kelly, and maybe Katie.
- And Katie.
- You're joking.
STASSI: Katie Maloney--
we were best friends.
But over the last few years,
Katie and I had
a weird falling out.
After getting canceled,
I noticed Katie was
so incredibly wrapped up
in herself.
And I started dreading
being around her.
So that's why I of just, like,
ghosted the friendship.
And I haven't had
a serious conversation
with her in a year and a half.
It just felt like we had
nothing in common anymore,
nothing to bond us.
- Yeah.
- But I've gotten
to the point now--
and I think she has too--
we're just, like,
overdue to get out
what we want to say
and, like, try
and rebuild something.
Hanging out with other people
who are on reality TV,
that just, like,
get me and this world,
it makes me look
at my friends and family
and be like, oh, I don't know
that they're ready for this.
I miss my ride or die,
Katie Maloney.
And some people might say,
oh, that's convenient timing.
And they would be correct.
But also, there's a lot
more to it than that.
I invited her--so I'm having
a Halloween party.
If you're in LA, feel free.
- [laughs]
- - Hopefully it goes better
than my Halloween party
I threw last year.
- Me too.
Like, I've been wanting
to get closer to her again,
mend our friendship.
And what better way to do that
than my very own TV show?
[singer vocalizing]
[dramatic music]
♪
- My kids are gonna want
nothing to do with me.
I am a Halloween girlie.
I think it's because
I'm from New Orleans.
We're spooky,
us New Orleans people.
- Did you do anything scary
last Halloween?
- Last Halloween,
we were all ghosts.
Every year, I like to throw
a Halloween party.
And the last time that
this crew was on camera
was the barbecue, OK?
So what happened there better
not happen this time around.
BEAU:
Yeah.
That's gross.
- Would you still want
to get it on?
[quirky music]
- Yes.
- Really?
- You can turn the lights off.
Before I met Stassi,
I was a great session director
in casting.
And I was also acting
in a lot of commercials.
- She was funny,
and she was sarcastic.
And I couldn't stop
being around her.
I needed her, and--
[trilling]
Here we are.
- I still can't believe
my sister is, like,
staying with the Taylors
right now and that
the first time
I'm gonna see her is at
my [bleep] Halloween party.
Sister relationships can be
[bleep] challenging.
When we were in England
for Vanderpump Villa--
OK, this is now the second time
drama went down with my family
at the villa.
So, like, maybe the villa
is the villain--
Georgi dropped
this bomb on us.
- So you know how
we've been, like,
talking about us moving to LA?
We bought tickets last night.
We were hoping
we can stay with you.
- Sorry.
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
Georgi told me that she was
gonna move into my house.
The thing about it
that set me off
was there was no conversation
or call of, like,
hey, would this work?
I'm just expected
to change my life?
I had nothing!
I had nothing, and still,
everyone [bleep] needs
something from me.
Georgia is already staying
with us right now
because Beau
can't say no to her.
Let's be real.
But Georgi is now staying
with my best friends.
Make that make sense.
You know,
Katie's coming tonight.
- Oh, I didn't know that.
- I think
her boyfriend is also.
BEAU:
OK. What is she wearing?
- I don't know.
I haven't been asking people
what their costumes are.
- Maybe she's wearing,
like, an ego bubble.
- Um, I'm not a fan.
- I'm nostalgic.
And I do appreciate
having a friendship
that goes back many years.
This is why I invited her
to the Halloween party.
BEAU: Stassi told me
that she wants Katie
to do the show with us.
I'm very protective of my wife,
and I know how, after
spending time with Katie,
how it made my wife feel,
and it didn't make her
feel good.
And I just don't want
that to happen again.
STASSI:
I want to--
- Rekindle that friendship?
- I want to try.
I want to try.
[dramatic music]
♪
[bell dings]
♪
BEAU:
Oh, my God.
- It's insane.
BEAU:
I had no idea.
- I'm very impressed
by how this came out.
TEDDY:
Isn't it good?
- Good, right?
I know it's bubonic plague,
but like,
Blake Lively is, like,
the bubonic plague of our time.
So I decided that
I am on theme.
- This is--
TAYLOR:
I'm like, this body--
STASSI:
I'm--this is incredible.
TAYLOR:
Teddy is 31 weeks pregnant.
She's been ready for this
since the day she was born.
Touch it.
- Are you freaking out?
- Touch it.
- I can't breathe
through my nose,
but I'm getting used to it.
You're like
a bubonic plague skank.
- Ho.
- Yeah.
- Then you should
just, like, wipe off
the lipstick, like you were
just giving a--you know,
like a bubonic BJ.
- A bubonic blowie.
- A bubonic blowie!
[dramatic music]
♪
BEAU: All right,
there's some people.
- Oh, my God.
BEAU:
Oh, it's your sister.
- It's been two months since
I have really spoken to Stassi.
Honestly, I'm scared.
I'm hurt.
And I just don't know
how it's gonna go.
Hey, bitch.
I actually really love
your costume.
So hi.
♪
Hi.
You look beautiful.
[squealing]
I don't want to get you blue.
- I wouldn't want to put boils
on my face, but that's just me.
- It's my [bleep]
Halloween party.
What are you doing,
coming in here
looking better than me?
- The whole point of Halloween
is to be the baddest bitch.
I [bleep] ate it.
I ate it to a T.
Stass, you're jealous.
I'm sorry.
But I painted myself
[bleep] blue for a reason.
I won.
Yeah.
[singers vocalizing]
♪
STASSI:
Katie's here.
Seeing Katie walk in,
I don't know,
it kind of makes me nervous.
[bell dings]
KATIE:
So Stassi called me
to come be a part of this show
that she's doing.
But it's a little strange
under these circumstances,
because we haven't
really spoken
or seen much of each other
in years.
I'm hurt.
And I'm sure
she's probably hurt.
And I don't know
what's gonna happen.
♪
[wolf howling]
[dramatic music]
[bell dings]
STASSI:
Katie just got here.
And I'm trying to just
figure out how to play this.
There's a lot I want
to get off my chest.
And old Stassi
would do just that.
But I am new Stassi.
And I'm trying to keep it cute,
like, as cute as I can be
with boils on my face.
BEAU:
Oh, shit, it's Katie.
- I'm so happy.
- That'll be the problem.
- Yeah.
I have a little PTSD from
those two on Vanderpump Rules.
So if Katie comes on here,
is this gonna, all of a sudden,
make my wife start acting like
how she was on Vanderpump?
Are we gonna go back in time?
♪
- I know what
I have to say first.
I'm into this satanic shit.
[singers vocalizing]
[bell dings]
- Um
♪
Well, this is awkward.
Thanks.
- The dark shit.
- Well, his isn't
as much, but--
- Yeah. Cool.
- Thank you for coming.
- I mean, yeah.
- [laughs]
- You guys look so loved up.
- Because we are.
- Because we are, yes.
KATIE: I'm feeling
cautiously optimistic.
If Stassi didn't want
to see me or talk to me,
she wouldn't have invited me.
- I'd like to one-on-one.
- But there's
an elephant in the room.
Yeah.
- [laughs]
STASSI:
This Halloween party is, like,
not the place to be, like,
unpacking the history
of me and Katie's friendship
and how we got here.
You know, I'm not upstaging
the Black Death.
Can we meet tomorrow
and have a real chat?
- OK. All right.
STASSI:
Let's just have fun tonight.
KATIE: Where's Beau?
- He's in there.
Y'all go get a drink.
♪
- Last time I saw Stassi was
at Vanderpump Villa in London.
We got in a huge fight.
My feelings were hurt.
I don't know
how she's gonna react.
I can stay optimistic, hoping
that she'll hear my side,
but who [bleep] knows, right?
I was literally
looking for you.
I walked right past you.
Can we talk?
- Yeah.
GEORGI: OK.
- Yeah.
I will be back.
- Perfect place.
Sorry, I'm annoying.
- This conversation
with my sister,
it's like weighing on me.
And it didn't need to be.
She could have called me.
She didn't.
She wants to have
this conversation here.
And she's all blue.
And it's just kind of
[bleep] overwhelming.
- So I just have,
like, a letter.
- I don't know
that I can do this.
You really wrote
a [bleep] letter?
- Yes, because I can't
think straight
- When I'm arguing with you?
- Yeah, for some reason.
- I know. I do that to people.
OK, Edgar Allen Poe,
like, what?
So dramatic.
Ugh.
- [clears throat]
My dearest Stass,
I've been wanting to talk
about what happened between us
at the Villa in London.
Being accused of not helping
with the kids really got to me.
- You don't ever
actually [bleep] help.
- Second, I opened up to you
about my insecurities,
like divorce,
where I'm at in life,
dating, and all of it.
And it hurt to feel like
those things were
used against me
in moments of anger.
Lastly, I realized
when I mentioned
staying in LA with you,
it might have triggered
some feelings around money
or responsibility.
- She [bleep] ChatGPT'd
this shit, didn't she?
- I want to be clear.
I would never want
to take advantage of you.
And I'm truly sorry if I ever
made you feel that way.
I miss feeling like each
other's safe space and sisters,
and I hope we can rebuild that
with honesty, compassion,
and understanding.
Love you always, Georgianna,
your bitch ass sister.
- Did Chat write that?
Did you write that?
- Um, I wrote it.
Also, the Taylors helped me.
And then Chat polished it.
- And then Chat helped.
This is gonna sound harsh,
but like,
this sounds like a you burden.
[dramatic music]
- OK, I hear you.
And here she goes again.
I'm speaking from the heart,
and she shoots me down.
It's so [bleep] up.
When I come to you
with all my insecurities,
I'm coming to you as
my big sister, like, hey,
I'm not telling everybody.
These things that I only
come to you and cry about,
and then you go on the Villa
and then tear me a new one
when I tell you--
[voice breaking] I just want to
be near you to live with you.
♪
STASSI:
I needed to just stop you.
You're doing this victim thing
again right now,
even in the way that you're
wording this, being like,
I just want to be near you
and be your sister.
- But I do.
- But it's not that
I'm using your insecurity--
don't you [bleep] cry.
♪
- I'm not crying.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, I'm--
- Your eyes are shining water.
Just you--you know
how to wrap this up
in a way where I just
feel like the menace.
I feel like the monster,
like I'm just mean to you.
- And I'm not trying
to make you feel like that.
- I don't feel like
you've ever thought through
any of the choices
that you make.
And so I feel like I constantly
have to figure it out for you.
And I'm already
figuring it out for myself.
And I'm figuring it out
for my children.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes
I'm figuring it out for Beau.
[scoffs]
So it's not that
I was using your insecurities.
It's like,
I was just stating facts
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
- That you don't like.
- Yeah.
- No, I'm not resolved.
My feelings weren't validated.
And instead,
she put it back on me.
I definitely feel like
it's not over.
- But I'd like you
to come to our house.
- I want to.
STASSI:
Because it is embarrassing
that you're staying
with my friends.
GEORGI: I want to be nice
to each other.
I just want to be nice.
I want to work it out.
I want to--
- OK.
I do too.
[bleep] loser.
- I'm a loser.
STASSI: It can be really
exhausting and tiring
to take care of so many people.
I mean, that is why I'm
taking my friends and family
and putting them on this show
so that they can
level up their lives.
And then we can all become
rich and famous together,
you know, like the Kardashians.
But no one is contributing
like Kim and Khloe.
And that's partially
why I need Katie back.
This conversation is
a really big deal.
I'm either gonna walk away
with a best friend back
or another ghost in my closet.
[singer singing in Italian]
♪
[dramatic music]
STASSI:
I'm going in to meet Katie,
and I am really nervous,
because I know that
I also played a part in this.
And I hope that
we can get to a place
where, like, we want to be
closer and move forward.
And I want her on this
show journey with me.
♪
KATIE:
Stassi was[sighs]
I hate to use--I hate even
using the term "was--"
my best closest friend
for many, many years.
She was a bridesmaid
in my wedding.
I'm the godmother
to her daughter, Hartford.
She even came on my honeymoon.
So to not have her
present in my life
feels like a massive void.
- We're at the Belmont.
KATIE:
It feels like I never left.
So Stassi has this new show,
and I know she wants me
to be a part of it.
But I'm hesitant,
because I spent 11 years
being on reality TV.
I lived a whole lifetime
on television.
And I was just excited
to be away from all that.
And on top of that,
Stassi and I
still have a lot to talk about,
like why she ghosted me.
We haven't--
- It's [bleep] that we--
yes, in a while,
in a very long time.
- Yeah, and normally
in the past,
if we hadn't done in a while,
I would know why.
- Yeah.
- I've been writing stories
in my head,
so I would love to know,
like, what your thoughts are.
- It felt like every time
we were together--
and I was fired
and just had a baby.
So, like, I'm in this place
of just being like,
what is my life?
You never wanted to hear
about my life.
You never wanted to hear
about Beau.
You never wanted to hear
about, like, Hartford.
It was just, you wanted to talk
about Vanderpump Rules.
And it felt like any time
I wanted to say anything,
you were not listening.
I felt like I was
being talked at.
There was one time
I cried to you.
Like, we were sitting
at my dining room table,
and I cried to you.
It was about postpartum stuff.
And you were on your phone
and just scrolling,
and then you were like,
look how far
the sandwich shop is coming.
And I was just like,
holy [bleep].
Like, I feel like a loser.
I feel like a [bleep] loser.
Like, she's not
listening to me.
I actually don't think
she [bleep] cares.
- I don't remember
that instance.
[tense music]
- Well, yeah, that's the point.
You wouldn't remember because
you were never listening.
KATIE:
Throughout our friendship,
I always had been
ride or die for you.
And you bringing up
the Vanderpump Rules of it all,
that was my whole life.
I didn't know anything else.
And you should know that,
that like,
when you're in it, it's deep.
- I loved Vanderpump Rules.
I didn't choose to leave,
so like,
to hear about it all the time,
that hurt.
And then when you had
your birthday party
and you invited [bleep] Scheana
to your dinner and not me,
I was like,
if I'm being honest,
I felt relieved,
because I'm like,
you did it for me.
Thank you for giving me
this reason to ghost,
because that was
a slap in the face.
Katie, historically,
has not liked Scheana.
So to invite someone that
you do not even care for
and not your best friend,
it was absolutely [bleep]
wild and shocking.
She knew what she was doing
the second she invited Scheana.
Give me a [bleep] break.
It was like, I don't want this
to be the end.
But I can't be around it.
- So cutting me out--
STASSI: I don't--no.
- And just taking away
the friendship was the answer.
- At the time, I don't feel
like you could have handled it.
- But I also feel like
that's unfair
because I feel like regardless
of whether I can take it
or not, I'm owed it.
And you just make your world
smaller and smaller
and smaller, to the point where
it's like, if, I don't know,
they didn't come out of you,
or they're not married to you,
or they're not on
your [bleep] payroll,
they don't get to be
in your life.
[bell dings]
STASSI:
Damn, this bitch is good.
And that's the type
of truth-telling
we need on reality TV.
I need her to do this show.
[dramatic music]
- You want to say
that I'm self-absorbed
and my opinions that matter,
but it's like,
unless it fits into your world
and it works for you,
then it can't be a part of it.
You know, this may be hard
for Stassi to hear,
but unlike other people,
I'm not scared
to tell Stassi the truth.
So this is really a test
to see if Stassi has changed,
because the old Stassi
would verbally annihilate me
right now, and I can see
the wheels start to turn
in her head.
[bell dings]
Do you understand?
It goes both ways.
- I hear you.
I shouldn't have ghosted you.
That is on me.
That's on me.
I feel like
we're hearing each other.
She knows where she went wrong.
And I was not right
to ghost her.
But now I feel like we can
put all of that behind us
and just move forward.
- I've had, like,
godmother guilt
over, like, the years
because I've missed out
on this--a lot of this chapter
of your life, Hartford's life.
Like, Messer, I don't know him.
And that makes me really sad.
Like with you, it's like
you're, like, someone that
I'm like, I always want
in my life, so
- [bleep].
Me too.
[singers vocalizing]
Me [bleep] too.
KATIE:
Well, I'm still here.
- No, I'm still here.
- That's the good news.
- Well, I'm here now.
- OK, well,
I've always been here.
I was just waiting
for you to call me.
- It feels like
a huge weight is lifted.
But we shall see
if we can get to, like,
this, like, real,
deeper friendship.
But there is something I want
to ask her before she leaves.
- I feel like I've just been
a very different person,
especially post
Vanderpump Rules.
- I loved Vanderpump Rules.
But it also was literally
what we're gonna have
PTSD about
and have to talk
to therapists about
for the rest
of our [bleep] lives.
- And they're gonna have
no idea
because they cannot relate.
- No, they cannot relate.
It was always,
make the girls look psychotic.
Make the girls
like they have issues.
They covered for the boys.
They covered
for the [bleep] men.
I have mixed feelings
about Vanderpump Rules.
Like, I'm so
appreciative of it.
And it's given me
so many opportunities.
But, like, it normalized
so much darkness.
It rewarded so much darkness,
until it didn't.
And then coming back
to reality TV, I'm like,
are you being a dumb bitch?
I'm scared of reality TV.
But it's all I know.
And I love it.
But I'm also traumatized by it.
But I can't stay away from it.
But I was not gonna let
Vanderpump Rules be my legacy.
I had to make this happen.
I had to.
- It was really shitty
a lot of the times.
But I don't regret it.
I don't know.
- You got to go out a hero.
- It only took 11 years
to get there.
- That's true,
but that's pretty major.
I went out a loser,
a flop doodle.
- You went out a flop doodle.
That's hilarious.
- I'm glad that,
like, there's been
this period of time
for both of us to just
become ourselves.
- Yeah.
- I know you are enjoying
your life off of reality TV,
but do you want to do this?
KATIE: This conversation
obviously is a huge reminder
of how difficult things
have been in the past,
sharing your life on television
in front of cameras.
But I just feel like
this conversation
is just proof that Stassi and I
can do this together.
Yeah.
- I'm so glad.
- I'm very happy that
I'm back in Stassi's life,
and we're gonna work
on our friendship.
But I'm still hesitant
about reality TV.
- Stassi and Katie
in their early 20s,
now Stassi and Katie
in their late 30s.
- Stassi and Katie 2.0.
- Yeah, 2.0.
I'm really happy that Katie
decided to be in this with me.
This time I get to go back
and do it but on my terms.
It is literally
my dream come true.
This cannot fail.
- I'm glad that we get
another opportunity, though.
- Yeah. I love you.
But I'm also
a little apprehensive
about how Beau is gonna
feel about this.
I think he's just like,
I don't know.
Does she still suck?
But I feel like
this time around, like,
Katie's gonna have my back.
I'm surrounded by
everyone I love now.
What could go wrong?
TAYLOR: This season on
House of Stassi
- I don't want to ever be
put in a situation
like Villa again.
- I'm scared.
You're making me feel like
Stassi's a serial killer.
- Should I make
a necklace for you?
- No. Are those teeth?
STASSI: Having a show
for my friends and family
and doing it right was
my biggest dream.
- Mom, I've literally
[bleep] girls [bleep].
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm just saying.
- I'm wearing no underwear.
- Don't you just, like, have
some leakage sometimes?
- No.
My vagina is not leaking.
- Do you have a therapist?
- No.
And somehow,
this turned into a nightmare.
- And the way that Katie's,
like, entered the chat.
- Why didn't you pick up
the phone and call me?
- I had a child.
- And I was going
through a divorce!
- You're insane!
- Being canceled,
that could have destroyed us.
- I met up with Stassi
the other day.
I'm feeling, like,
buyer's remorse.
This is exactly
the kind of shit
I was trying to get away from.
- Don't you dare do this.
- The rest of our
professional lives
is just whatever Stassi says,
that's what we do.
- I just literally feel
like a 1950s housewife.
- Beau, this is what happens
in a marriage.
- I don't know what you think
makes you a [bleep]--
- Because I have
a [bleep] life.
- Having kids?
- I am doing
the best that I can.
- It's not good enough for me.
STASSI:
I'm gonna throw up.
- You want to break
the fourth wall?
Watch me have a great time.
STASSI: Go away!
- That's not what we're saying.
- I can't handle it.
And you remind me of it
all the time!