Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. (2013) s01e01 Episode Script
Doorway to Destruction (1)
Hulk, smash! Destroy the hulk! Target is locked, sir! Missile away! Eject! Eject! See those spy drones? Back in the day, the military used them To track my big green buddy's every raging outburst And showed the world the footage of him As a monster who should be feared.
Well, I'm gonna use them To show a whole new side of the hulk.
Come on There's someone I want you to meet.
Down here.
access granted-- rick jones.
Hulk, what's the good word, my brother? Go away.
Wanna hear some cool news? Nope.
Wanna spot me? I'm going to make a web series.
Guess who it's about? Hulk don't even think about it.
I want to prove to the world you're not a you-know-what, Show the whole world the hulk I know and love.
It won't work, rick.
Humans will always see the hulk as a monster.
Trusted news source j.
Jonah jameson here With a new threat to mankind.
You thought spiderman was bad? Well, the mindless green goliath known as the hulk Is even worse.
We have exclusive footage Of this jade-skinned monster on another rampage.
a rampage of fun that is.
The hulk is the best.
He's terrific.
Yeah, right.
Look, hulk, why should you spend your whole life Hiding in the cellar of this old military base? Hulk when I'm down here, I don't lose control.
No one gets hurt.
Great.
Yes, The modest hero bit is just what I need, But can you-- uh, do-- do it into the camera this time.
Rick-- Whoa.
What was that? Trouble.
It's coming from a half mile straight up.
Stay put.
And keep those cameras out of my face.
No, wait.
Trouble in town.
Looks like I'm needed.
Time to smash.
we're heading into vista verde, Birthplace of the hulk.
The only town there is where people kinda like the hulk.
Ever since his creation in the desert nearby, Folks here have embraced him as their big green mascot.
The heck is that? A tornado? weather anomaly Is composed entirely of gamma energy And is generating hurricane-force winds.
Figures.
Hulk's hometown is ground zero For all kinds of weirdness.
whoa, whoa, I gotcha.
Hulk smash.
Roar.
now, that's cute.
hold it right there, hulk.
Put down the girl.
I said put down the girl now.
Whoa-whoa-whoa.
Hulk just saved that kid.
Am I right? Come on.
Rick, I know what to do.
Get her to safety, now.
Yes, sir.
Let's get outta here.
See? The old hulk would've opened up a can of smash On those guys.
We got bigger problems.
Uh, so that-- That looks like a doorway to another universe.
Right? The negative zone.
Got a plan? Oh, yeah.
Smash? Smash.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Hulk had a few choice words about the burger incident.
Uh, the less said the better.
Who's crazy enough to rip a hole into another universe? Kang? Dr.
Doom? No rick, it's annihilus.
Finally, a spot in this wretched universe With enough residual gamma energy To break through.
Unfortunately it also happened to be in this monster's back yard.
Bring it on.
Hulk, you think you are strong enough to stop my invasion? You are nothing.
so you know this creep? yeah, he's top bug in the negative zone, But he's never had the power to invade earth.
Someone here is helping him.
My hordes have stripped the negative zone of its resources.
Earth is our next conquest.
Gonna have to go through me first.
I'll face you another time.
For now I'll leave you to fight it out monster to monster.
Oh, great, who's this? Skaar attack! I'll give you one chance, skaar.
Go back where you came from.
Whoa, he looks like a hulk.
A hulk? watch it, rick.
Skaar slash.
No.
Hulk smash! excelsior.
If you want a hulk-sized deal, visit stan.
His prices are a steal.
Stan's the man.
Visit stan.
Visit stan.
Visit stan.
Ouch.
Hey, back off, shaggy.
That's why I told you to stay put.
Uh.
I'm the strongest one there is.
Uh Yah! Uh-oh.
Huh? hey, jade-jaws.
Hulk just traded one problem for another.
Are you ready to see red? Booya.
Never send a green hulk to do a red hulk's work, I always say.
Jerk.
I'm sorry, what did you say? It sounded like, "thanks, red, for saving my sorry green-- I said, jerk.
As general thunderbolt ross, I made a whole career out of out of beating on green monsters For the good ol' u.
S.
Army.
Finally I decided to fight fire with fire And hulkitized myself.
Now I keep an eye on hulk, You know, to make sure he doesn't mess things up.
we're headed back to the hulk's gamma base.
Location? Wouldn't you like to know.
hey, the old anti-gravity holding chamber, Built to contain you back in your old "mindless monster" days.
Don't remind me.
So what's junior's story? His name is skaar, and he works for annihilus.
That's all we know.
And what are you doing here, red? Spying on hulk for the army? Easy, jones.
I traced the gamma tornado to vista verde And figured you could use a hand.
I guess I was right.
Oh, this place brings back memories.
I hope you kept the weapons locker.
Don't cry.
Your old toys are still here.
Cool.
I'll get some shots for my show.
All the gizmos you had built That failed to stop the hulk.
"failed to stop the hulk.
" Can you believe jones is wasting bandwidth on greenie When they've got a hulked-out war hero like me? Oh, yeah.
How ya doing, honey? Welcome to the gun show.
We might need these if annihilus attacks again.
we have to be ready for anything.
Like that.
Looks like wild boy agrees with you.
He's not agreeing.
He's escaping.
That's impossible.
I tested the chamber myself.
No way he's getting loose.
That's what I would have done.
Drop it.
Back.
Right.
I'll bet you don't even know how to pull the-- Enough! Get down! No! Skaar escape.
Red, help me get green outta here.
Welcome back, jade jaws.
You okay? Even you can't take a full gamma blast for long.
I'll live.
Where's skaar? Mini-green bounced out of here.
now, where does he think he's going With that gamma ray cannon? Skaar's gamma energy got him through the portal That cannon makes sure annihilus does, too.
Oh, I get it.
The old trojan horse trick.
Annihilus let us capture skaar, Knowing he'd find some gamma tech That would open the doorway for good.
Thanks to us, earth is finished.
We're going after him.
Stay here.
But I can help.
Help yourself by staying here.
Don't worry about me, bro.
I'm not some helpless critter That has to be locked in a tank.
Hmmph.
You know what? Good idea.
you gotta big mouth, jones.
What are you doing? Hey, come on.
Come on.
No-no-no-- come on.
Come on! Come on, hulk.
Ah, man, no.
This is embarrassing.
It's not that hulk doesn't care about his friends.
He just shows his concern in really weird ways.
don't he look cute in there.
Yeah, adorable.
Now, get your butt movin'.
Hurry.
At ease, greenie.
We'll stop skaar Before he surrenders the cannon to annihilus.
He doesn't have to hand it over.
He just has to shoot.
Shoot at what? That.
Oh.
come on.
Come on.
Come On.
rick there's gotta be something in here That I can use to break out.
A hammer, that'll work.
Okay, so I didn't see the bomb fall off the shelf behind me.
I still got out, didn't I? Oh, no, skaar's opening the portal for annihilus.
Excellent, skaar.
Using the gamma cannon, you have freed me.
Now with the portal open My unstoppable hoard Can enter this new dimension And bring it to its knees before me.
Forward and attack.
Destroy anything in your path.
incoming.
Hang onto the kid.
I'll smash the bugs.
You baby-sit.
I'll smash.
Hey, hulk, get back here.
I ain't no supernanny.
I want in on this.
Yo, bugs, how about a little buzz kill? You bloated red butthead.
Yeah, baby, come to papa.
Ah, re-charging.
Let the invasion begin.
Never.
When I smash you, you stay smashed! Skaar! Finish him! Hang on, hulk.
Help's a comin'.
I told you to stay away.
And leave my best friend? Not gonna happen.
Rick saved my life.
But if anything ever happened to him Because of me Hulk Got a problem over here.
Gamma core's overloading.
It's gonna blow.
Hulk! That blast is collapsing the portal.
Skaar, bring me the red one.
Rick.
Rick! rick! Rick.
You did it, hulk.
Beat annihilus.
Stopped his invasion.
And the cameras got it all.
The world will see you're a hero And not a monster at all.
Hulk, I don't feel so good.
Don't worry.
Gonna be okay, rick.
We might've stopped annihilus, But we lost red.
Gotta fix that.
As for rick Well, what happens next changes us forever.
Hulk, I really don't feel so good.
Well, I'm gonna use them To show a whole new side of the hulk.
Come on There's someone I want you to meet.
Down here.
access granted-- rick jones.
Hulk, what's the good word, my brother? Go away.
Wanna hear some cool news? Nope.
Wanna spot me? I'm going to make a web series.
Guess who it's about? Hulk don't even think about it.
I want to prove to the world you're not a you-know-what, Show the whole world the hulk I know and love.
It won't work, rick.
Humans will always see the hulk as a monster.
Trusted news source j.
Jonah jameson here With a new threat to mankind.
You thought spiderman was bad? Well, the mindless green goliath known as the hulk Is even worse.
We have exclusive footage Of this jade-skinned monster on another rampage.
a rampage of fun that is.
The hulk is the best.
He's terrific.
Yeah, right.
Look, hulk, why should you spend your whole life Hiding in the cellar of this old military base? Hulk when I'm down here, I don't lose control.
No one gets hurt.
Great.
Yes, The modest hero bit is just what I need, But can you-- uh, do-- do it into the camera this time.
Rick-- Whoa.
What was that? Trouble.
It's coming from a half mile straight up.
Stay put.
And keep those cameras out of my face.
No, wait.
Trouble in town.
Looks like I'm needed.
Time to smash.
we're heading into vista verde, Birthplace of the hulk.
The only town there is where people kinda like the hulk.
Ever since his creation in the desert nearby, Folks here have embraced him as their big green mascot.
The heck is that? A tornado? weather anomaly Is composed entirely of gamma energy And is generating hurricane-force winds.
Figures.
Hulk's hometown is ground zero For all kinds of weirdness.
whoa, whoa, I gotcha.
Hulk smash.
Roar.
now, that's cute.
hold it right there, hulk.
Put down the girl.
I said put down the girl now.
Whoa-whoa-whoa.
Hulk just saved that kid.
Am I right? Come on.
Rick, I know what to do.
Get her to safety, now.
Yes, sir.
Let's get outta here.
See? The old hulk would've opened up a can of smash On those guys.
We got bigger problems.
Uh, so that-- That looks like a doorway to another universe.
Right? The negative zone.
Got a plan? Oh, yeah.
Smash? Smash.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Hulk had a few choice words about the burger incident.
Uh, the less said the better.
Who's crazy enough to rip a hole into another universe? Kang? Dr.
Doom? No rick, it's annihilus.
Finally, a spot in this wretched universe With enough residual gamma energy To break through.
Unfortunately it also happened to be in this monster's back yard.
Bring it on.
Hulk, you think you are strong enough to stop my invasion? You are nothing.
so you know this creep? yeah, he's top bug in the negative zone, But he's never had the power to invade earth.
Someone here is helping him.
My hordes have stripped the negative zone of its resources.
Earth is our next conquest.
Gonna have to go through me first.
I'll face you another time.
For now I'll leave you to fight it out monster to monster.
Oh, great, who's this? Skaar attack! I'll give you one chance, skaar.
Go back where you came from.
Whoa, he looks like a hulk.
A hulk? watch it, rick.
Skaar slash.
No.
Hulk smash! excelsior.
If you want a hulk-sized deal, visit stan.
His prices are a steal.
Stan's the man.
Visit stan.
Visit stan.
Visit stan.
Ouch.
Hey, back off, shaggy.
That's why I told you to stay put.
Uh.
I'm the strongest one there is.
Uh Yah! Uh-oh.
Huh? hey, jade-jaws.
Hulk just traded one problem for another.
Are you ready to see red? Booya.
Never send a green hulk to do a red hulk's work, I always say.
Jerk.
I'm sorry, what did you say? It sounded like, "thanks, red, for saving my sorry green-- I said, jerk.
As general thunderbolt ross, I made a whole career out of out of beating on green monsters For the good ol' u.
S.
Army.
Finally I decided to fight fire with fire And hulkitized myself.
Now I keep an eye on hulk, You know, to make sure he doesn't mess things up.
we're headed back to the hulk's gamma base.
Location? Wouldn't you like to know.
hey, the old anti-gravity holding chamber, Built to contain you back in your old "mindless monster" days.
Don't remind me.
So what's junior's story? His name is skaar, and he works for annihilus.
That's all we know.
And what are you doing here, red? Spying on hulk for the army? Easy, jones.
I traced the gamma tornado to vista verde And figured you could use a hand.
I guess I was right.
Oh, this place brings back memories.
I hope you kept the weapons locker.
Don't cry.
Your old toys are still here.
Cool.
I'll get some shots for my show.
All the gizmos you had built That failed to stop the hulk.
"failed to stop the hulk.
" Can you believe jones is wasting bandwidth on greenie When they've got a hulked-out war hero like me? Oh, yeah.
How ya doing, honey? Welcome to the gun show.
We might need these if annihilus attacks again.
we have to be ready for anything.
Like that.
Looks like wild boy agrees with you.
He's not agreeing.
He's escaping.
That's impossible.
I tested the chamber myself.
No way he's getting loose.
That's what I would have done.
Drop it.
Back.
Right.
I'll bet you don't even know how to pull the-- Enough! Get down! No! Skaar escape.
Red, help me get green outta here.
Welcome back, jade jaws.
You okay? Even you can't take a full gamma blast for long.
I'll live.
Where's skaar? Mini-green bounced out of here.
now, where does he think he's going With that gamma ray cannon? Skaar's gamma energy got him through the portal That cannon makes sure annihilus does, too.
Oh, I get it.
The old trojan horse trick.
Annihilus let us capture skaar, Knowing he'd find some gamma tech That would open the doorway for good.
Thanks to us, earth is finished.
We're going after him.
Stay here.
But I can help.
Help yourself by staying here.
Don't worry about me, bro.
I'm not some helpless critter That has to be locked in a tank.
Hmmph.
You know what? Good idea.
you gotta big mouth, jones.
What are you doing? Hey, come on.
Come on.
No-no-no-- come on.
Come on! Come on, hulk.
Ah, man, no.
This is embarrassing.
It's not that hulk doesn't care about his friends.
He just shows his concern in really weird ways.
don't he look cute in there.
Yeah, adorable.
Now, get your butt movin'.
Hurry.
At ease, greenie.
We'll stop skaar Before he surrenders the cannon to annihilus.
He doesn't have to hand it over.
He just has to shoot.
Shoot at what? That.
Oh.
come on.
Come on.
Come On.
rick there's gotta be something in here That I can use to break out.
A hammer, that'll work.
Okay, so I didn't see the bomb fall off the shelf behind me.
I still got out, didn't I? Oh, no, skaar's opening the portal for annihilus.
Excellent, skaar.
Using the gamma cannon, you have freed me.
Now with the portal open My unstoppable hoard Can enter this new dimension And bring it to its knees before me.
Forward and attack.
Destroy anything in your path.
incoming.
Hang onto the kid.
I'll smash the bugs.
You baby-sit.
I'll smash.
Hey, hulk, get back here.
I ain't no supernanny.
I want in on this.
Yo, bugs, how about a little buzz kill? You bloated red butthead.
Yeah, baby, come to papa.
Ah, re-charging.
Let the invasion begin.
Never.
When I smash you, you stay smashed! Skaar! Finish him! Hang on, hulk.
Help's a comin'.
I told you to stay away.
And leave my best friend? Not gonna happen.
Rick saved my life.
But if anything ever happened to him Because of me Hulk Got a problem over here.
Gamma core's overloading.
It's gonna blow.
Hulk! That blast is collapsing the portal.
Skaar, bring me the red one.
Rick.
Rick! rick! Rick.
You did it, hulk.
Beat annihilus.
Stopped his invasion.
And the cameras got it all.
The world will see you're a hero And not a monster at all.
Hulk, I don't feel so good.
Don't worry.
Gonna be okay, rick.
We might've stopped annihilus, But we lost red.
Gotta fix that.
As for rick Well, what happens next changes us forever.
Hulk, I really don't feel so good.