Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s01e01 Episode Script
The Dark Hand
1
Professor:
And mad king Ludwig
would invite guests into
the castle linderhof,
where they would
fall victim
to any of his dozens
of deadly traps.
Rude.
Huh. That's why his name
was not "lovable Ludwig"
or "good neighbor king
of Bavaria."
Ohh! Stand back.
Ah, come on.
What are the odds
that these traps
still--
yeeh.
Ludwig's lost treasure.
I'm sure the Booty
is booby-trapped,
so don't--
(rumbling)
Touch anything.
Go! Go! Go!
Ohh!
Bad day.
Ha! Bad day! Bad day!
Bad day! Bad day!
Bad day!
(Grunting)
(Screaming)
(Jackie screaming)
Snowboarding works
much better with snow.
Follow him.
Follow him.
(Bell rings)
What is it, uncle?
Come,
give uncle a hug.
Ow!
You did not
make coffee this morning.
Coffee is the only thing
keeping uncle's
ancient heart beating.
You want dead uncle?
No? Then you make coffee.
Ok.
One more thing.
You received phone call
from the university.
They want you
to translate parchments.
Ok.
One more thing.
I cannot read
these inscriptions.
Very old writing.
I must go in back,
look at my journals.
Ok.
One more thing.
This is Jade, your niece.
She will live with you
for a year. Ok?
Ok.
I have a niece?!
Your cousin shin's girl
from Hong Kong.
Jade is not
behaving well there--
doing poorly in school.
Your cousin thinks
she will do better
in America with you.
Uh, nobody asked me!
Did not want
to bother you.
Now, you both get acquainted
while I go do work.
But I don't know
anything about children.
(Nervous laugh)
Hello.
I am Jackie.
Hmm. No English.
Ne ho ma?
(Bell rings)
Welcome to
uncle's rare finds.
How can I help you?
You're Jackie chan,
the archeologist?
Oh, I dabble
in the study
of past civilizations.
Well, we are aware
that you recently
dabbled a shield
from a bavarian castle.
Our extremely
wealthy employer
is interested
in purchasing that shield.
I'm sorry.
I already
donated that piece
to the university.
Really?
Aah!
It would be
in your family's
best interests
to undonate the shield,
Mr. chan,
by this time tomorrow.
Did they buy anything?
No.
You terrible salesman.
Watch the girl
and hide the shield.
Where am I going
to hide a big shield?
Where did I put it?
Whoa!
Hey!
- Aah!
Ow!
Heh. That will buff
right out.
Nya nya!
Electric swords?!
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Ow!
No more playtime!
Go! Go! Go!
Kid: Let's
get out of here!
Aah!
Hey! What the--
wow.
Let's get out of here.
Jade?
Now he's coming to.
Aah!
Augustus black!
What are you doing here?
Oh, what am I doing here?
I'm afraid
it's official business,
my friend.
I didn't think these
were your backup singers.
Where have you been?
I don't hear from you
for 6 years.
Boom! You're
in San Francisco
saving my butt.
Whoa. Those thugs
must have knocked me out.
Actually,
I knocked you out.
Why did you do that?
Jackie.
I thought we were friends.
We are, Jackie.
I'm sorry,
but this location
must remain secret.
Oh, yes.
I can see this is
some very special garbage.
Jackie--
maybe I'll see you
in another 6 years.
Excuse me
while I call a cab.
Uh, Jackie--
(dials phone)
(Screaming)
(Sighs)
(Screaming)
(Elevator dings)
Unh.
Tried to warn you.
How did you
get down here?
The stairs.
Follow me.
Black: Jackie,
welcome to section 13.
I thought you were
with interpol.
Even when
you knew me then,
I was shepherding
this agency in secret.
You're a spy?
They're spies?
Law enforcement,
Jackie
Elite special forces.
So why give me
the big tour?
We are aware that you've
recently acquired
an artifact in Bavaria.
Why does everyone
know this?
Jackie?
You are the second one
to ask me
about the shield today.
As I feared.
Want to fill me in?
Black: Section 13
was founded
to investigate large-scale
international crimes--
crimes which it seems
can often be traced
to a syndicate
called the dark hand.
The dark hand
has connections
to nearly every
criminal activity
in existence.
Their leader is this man--
valmont.
You are telling me
one man stopped you?
Uh, yes, but--
3 of my enforcers
armed with
high-tech weapons
were defeated
by an archeologist?
Did we mention
he had windshield wipers?
Tohru.
Uh-oh.
- Whoa!
Whoa.
Tohru,
can't breathe.
Enough.
(Gasping)
Tohru,
bring me the shield.
While your tohru impresses,
valmont,
perhaps he
should be aided by
The shadowkahn.
As you wish, shendu.
Black:
We recently learned
that the dark hand
has a sudden interest
in collecting certain
historical artifacts.
Why?
Unknown,
but with this
new development,
section 13 could use
an archeology expert
such as yourself.
Oh, I'm really
just an amateur.
A wise
and talented amateur
whom I know and trust.
But my university work--
it wouldn't be
full-time, Jackie.
Research only,
- to help us stay one step
ahead of valmont.
I will consider it.
Whoa!
- Watch it!
Jackie!
Who is that?!
No relation.
Whoa!
- Whoa!
Stand back.
Jade:
Jackie, grab on!
I'm busting you
outta here.
You speak English?!
Jackie: Sorry!
Jackie: Look out!
Sorry! Heads up!
Jackie: Look out!
Jackie: Sorry!
Aah!
Jackie, how many fingers
do you see?
Look. Fishies.
Let go of me!
Young lady,
how did you get in here?
The stairs.
Where did you
get the bike?
You could
have been hurt.
I snuck it
out of their garage.
Knew we'd need it
to blow this taco stand.
So, we outta here?
Jade, these people
are my friends.
Your friends
knocked you out
and took you
to a supersecret
underground base?!
Uh, yes.
America is so cool!
Care to explain
how our security
was penetrated by a child?
I'm not a child.
I'm Jackie's niece.
Didn't know
- you had a niece, Jackie.
Join the club.
Jackie: Jade--
- come on,
just admit,
wasn't I brave?
Yes, but you also
need wisdom
to know when challenges
are too big.
Courage without wisdom
is foolishness.
Understand?
Uh, my English
must not be too good.
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Uncle, on phone:
Jackie.
Uncle.
- Where are you?
Uh, can't say.
Oh, one more thing.
Have you seen Jade?
Yes, she's with me.
See? I knew you two
would get along.
One more thing.
I have been
doing research
on the shield.
Jackie,
I have found what
the inscriptions mean.
They are incantations.
Incantations?
Magic. Very powerful,
but the shield
not important.
Of course the shield
is important, uncle.
Everybody I meet today
wants the shield.
No, shield not important.
The shield.
Uncle?
Uncle?!
Uncle!
Uncle? Uncle?!
Your uncle is fine
for now, Mr. chan,
but every hour
I do not possess
the shield
Yes, yes, I understand.
I will bring it.
I will tell no one.
A favor, between friends.
Watch my niece.
Jackie,
where are you--
please,
don't ask questions.
All right, young lady--
ok, where would uncle
hide the shield?
Hmm.
Hi!
- Aah!
How did you--
the stairs.
Well, take these stairs
to your room.
Oh, let me help.
Uncle is my uncle, too--
I think.
Fine.
Help find the shield.
Yeeah!
Yeow!
This it?
Yes!
I must be getting
that wisdom
you were talking about.
Thank you.
Now go to your room.
Jade:
Uncle's up there, huh?
You speak English?
You know I do.
So what part of
"go to your room"
do you not understand?
Aww.
Stay here,
or I'll put you
on the first flight
back to Hong Kong.
Scout's honor.
Tch, like I'm a scout.
(Elevator dings)
The shield.
Why does your employer
want it?
That is not your concern.
Okey-dokey,
you want the shield,
catch!
Fool. Say sayonara
to your uncle!
Huh?
Arrgh!
I bet I run
faster than you.
Come and get it?
Aah!
Hurry, uncle!
Ai-ah.
(Elevator music playing)
Yaah!
Jackie!
Mine!
Oof!
- Oof!
The shield.
Yaah!
(Groans)
Heh heh.
(Groans)
(Helicopter)
(Over loudspeaker) Honest!
It's a research position.
Jackie, I never meant
for your family
to get involved in this.
It's not your fault.
The dark hand
was after the shield.
Ow!
I told you!
Shield not important.
The talisman
in the center
of the shield is.
That is where
the magic lies.
Uh, don't you worry.
We'll be sure to
look into that
once we
- reclaim the talisman
from the dark hand.
Don't need to.
Admit it.
I'm getting wise.
Master.
Shendu and valmont:
Tohru.
What?
One more thing.
See the markings?
Sign of the rooster,
from the Chinese zodiac.
There are 11 more talismans
where that came from.
And my gut tells me
the dark hand's
after them, too.
You onboard,
Jackie?
Uh
Jade: Absolutely.
Child: Hey, Jackie,
what inspired you to make
this TV show?
When I was young,
I always like cartoon.
I really hoped
someday I want to be
a cartoon character.
Cartoon can do all kind
things I cannot do
in my real life.
After so many, so many,
so many years later,
the people,
the children
still can remember me.
Today my dream
come true.
I love cartoon.
Professor:
And mad king Ludwig
would invite guests into
the castle linderhof,
where they would
fall victim
to any of his dozens
of deadly traps.
Rude.
Huh. That's why his name
was not "lovable Ludwig"
or "good neighbor king
of Bavaria."
Ohh! Stand back.
Ah, come on.
What are the odds
that these traps
still--
yeeh.
Ludwig's lost treasure.
I'm sure the Booty
is booby-trapped,
so don't--
(rumbling)
Touch anything.
Go! Go! Go!
Ohh!
Bad day.
Ha! Bad day! Bad day!
Bad day! Bad day!
Bad day!
(Grunting)
(Screaming)
(Jackie screaming)
Snowboarding works
much better with snow.
Follow him.
Follow him.
(Bell rings)
What is it, uncle?
Come,
give uncle a hug.
Ow!
You did not
make coffee this morning.
Coffee is the only thing
keeping uncle's
ancient heart beating.
You want dead uncle?
No? Then you make coffee.
Ok.
One more thing.
You received phone call
from the university.
They want you
to translate parchments.
Ok.
One more thing.
I cannot read
these inscriptions.
Very old writing.
I must go in back,
look at my journals.
Ok.
One more thing.
This is Jade, your niece.
She will live with you
for a year. Ok?
Ok.
I have a niece?!
Your cousin shin's girl
from Hong Kong.
Jade is not
behaving well there--
doing poorly in school.
Your cousin thinks
she will do better
in America with you.
Uh, nobody asked me!
Did not want
to bother you.
Now, you both get acquainted
while I go do work.
But I don't know
anything about children.
(Nervous laugh)
Hello.
I am Jackie.
Hmm. No English.
Ne ho ma?
(Bell rings)
Welcome to
uncle's rare finds.
How can I help you?
You're Jackie chan,
the archeologist?
Oh, I dabble
in the study
of past civilizations.
Well, we are aware
that you recently
dabbled a shield
from a bavarian castle.
Our extremely
wealthy employer
is interested
in purchasing that shield.
I'm sorry.
I already
donated that piece
to the university.
Really?
Aah!
It would be
in your family's
best interests
to undonate the shield,
Mr. chan,
by this time tomorrow.
Did they buy anything?
No.
You terrible salesman.
Watch the girl
and hide the shield.
Where am I going
to hide a big shield?
Where did I put it?
Whoa!
Hey!
- Aah!
Ow!
Heh. That will buff
right out.
Nya nya!
Electric swords?!
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Ow!
No more playtime!
Go! Go! Go!
Kid: Let's
get out of here!
Aah!
Hey! What the--
wow.
Let's get out of here.
Jade?
Now he's coming to.
Aah!
Augustus black!
What are you doing here?
Oh, what am I doing here?
I'm afraid
it's official business,
my friend.
I didn't think these
were your backup singers.
Where have you been?
I don't hear from you
for 6 years.
Boom! You're
in San Francisco
saving my butt.
Whoa. Those thugs
must have knocked me out.
Actually,
I knocked you out.
Why did you do that?
Jackie.
I thought we were friends.
We are, Jackie.
I'm sorry,
but this location
must remain secret.
Oh, yes.
I can see this is
some very special garbage.
Jackie--
maybe I'll see you
in another 6 years.
Excuse me
while I call a cab.
Uh, Jackie--
(dials phone)
(Screaming)
(Sighs)
(Screaming)
(Elevator dings)
Unh.
Tried to warn you.
How did you
get down here?
The stairs.
Follow me.
Black: Jackie,
welcome to section 13.
I thought you were
with interpol.
Even when
you knew me then,
I was shepherding
this agency in secret.
You're a spy?
They're spies?
Law enforcement,
Jackie
Elite special forces.
So why give me
the big tour?
We are aware that you've
recently acquired
an artifact in Bavaria.
Why does everyone
know this?
Jackie?
You are the second one
to ask me
about the shield today.
As I feared.
Want to fill me in?
Black: Section 13
was founded
to investigate large-scale
international crimes--
crimes which it seems
can often be traced
to a syndicate
called the dark hand.
The dark hand
has connections
to nearly every
criminal activity
in existence.
Their leader is this man--
valmont.
You are telling me
one man stopped you?
Uh, yes, but--
3 of my enforcers
armed with
high-tech weapons
were defeated
by an archeologist?
Did we mention
he had windshield wipers?
Tohru.
Uh-oh.
- Whoa!
Whoa.
Tohru,
can't breathe.
Enough.
(Gasping)
Tohru,
bring me the shield.
While your tohru impresses,
valmont,
perhaps he
should be aided by
The shadowkahn.
As you wish, shendu.
Black:
We recently learned
that the dark hand
has a sudden interest
in collecting certain
historical artifacts.
Why?
Unknown,
but with this
new development,
section 13 could use
an archeology expert
such as yourself.
Oh, I'm really
just an amateur.
A wise
and talented amateur
whom I know and trust.
But my university work--
it wouldn't be
full-time, Jackie.
Research only,
- to help us stay one step
ahead of valmont.
I will consider it.
Whoa!
- Watch it!
Jackie!
Who is that?!
No relation.
Whoa!
- Whoa!
Stand back.
Jade:
Jackie, grab on!
I'm busting you
outta here.
You speak English?!
Jackie: Sorry!
Jackie: Look out!
Sorry! Heads up!
Jackie: Look out!
Jackie: Sorry!
Aah!
Jackie, how many fingers
do you see?
Look. Fishies.
Let go of me!
Young lady,
how did you get in here?
The stairs.
Where did you
get the bike?
You could
have been hurt.
I snuck it
out of their garage.
Knew we'd need it
to blow this taco stand.
So, we outta here?
Jade, these people
are my friends.
Your friends
knocked you out
and took you
to a supersecret
underground base?!
Uh, yes.
America is so cool!
Care to explain
how our security
was penetrated by a child?
I'm not a child.
I'm Jackie's niece.
Didn't know
- you had a niece, Jackie.
Join the club.
Jackie: Jade--
- come on,
just admit,
wasn't I brave?
Yes, but you also
need wisdom
to know when challenges
are too big.
Courage without wisdom
is foolishness.
Understand?
Uh, my English
must not be too good.
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Uncle, on phone:
Jackie.
Uncle.
- Where are you?
Uh, can't say.
Oh, one more thing.
Have you seen Jade?
Yes, she's with me.
See? I knew you two
would get along.
One more thing.
I have been
doing research
on the shield.
Jackie,
I have found what
the inscriptions mean.
They are incantations.
Incantations?
Magic. Very powerful,
but the shield
not important.
Of course the shield
is important, uncle.
Everybody I meet today
wants the shield.
No, shield not important.
The shield.
Uncle?
Uncle?!
Uncle!
Uncle? Uncle?!
Your uncle is fine
for now, Mr. chan,
but every hour
I do not possess
the shield
Yes, yes, I understand.
I will bring it.
I will tell no one.
A favor, between friends.
Watch my niece.
Jackie,
where are you--
please,
don't ask questions.
All right, young lady--
ok, where would uncle
hide the shield?
Hmm.
Hi!
- Aah!
How did you--
the stairs.
Well, take these stairs
to your room.
Oh, let me help.
Uncle is my uncle, too--
I think.
Fine.
Help find the shield.
Yeeah!
Yeow!
This it?
Yes!
I must be getting
that wisdom
you were talking about.
Thank you.
Now go to your room.
Jade:
Uncle's up there, huh?
You speak English?
You know I do.
So what part of
"go to your room"
do you not understand?
Aww.
Stay here,
or I'll put you
on the first flight
back to Hong Kong.
Scout's honor.
Tch, like I'm a scout.
(Elevator dings)
The shield.
Why does your employer
want it?
That is not your concern.
Okey-dokey,
you want the shield,
catch!
Fool. Say sayonara
to your uncle!
Huh?
Arrgh!
I bet I run
faster than you.
Come and get it?
Aah!
Hurry, uncle!
Ai-ah.
(Elevator music playing)
Yaah!
Jackie!
Mine!
Oof!
- Oof!
The shield.
Yaah!
(Groans)
Heh heh.
(Groans)
(Helicopter)
(Over loudspeaker) Honest!
It's a research position.
Jackie, I never meant
for your family
to get involved in this.
It's not your fault.
The dark hand
was after the shield.
Ow!
I told you!
Shield not important.
The talisman
in the center
of the shield is.
That is where
the magic lies.
Uh, don't you worry.
We'll be sure to
look into that
once we
- reclaim the talisman
from the dark hand.
Don't need to.
Admit it.
I'm getting wise.
Master.
Shendu and valmont:
Tohru.
What?
One more thing.
See the markings?
Sign of the rooster,
from the Chinese zodiac.
There are 11 more talismans
where that came from.
And my gut tells me
the dark hand's
after them, too.
You onboard,
Jackie?
Uh
Jade: Absolutely.
Child: Hey, Jackie,
what inspired you to make
this TV show?
When I was young,
I always like cartoon.
I really hoped
someday I want to be
a cartoon character.
Cartoon can do all kind
things I cannot do
in my real life.
After so many, so many,
so many years later,
the people,
the children
still can remember me.
Today my dream
come true.
I love cartoon.