K.C. Undercover (2015) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
K.
C.
, we're at an expensive French restaurant.
What are you doing on your phone? Ordering a pizza.
Why do we bother taking her to nice places? You know what? Here's an idea.
How about I go to the mall and you guys pick me up when you're done? Or don't.
Okay.
Target has entered the restaurant.
I have facial recognition confirmation.
Target matches the profile: Slight limp, broad shoulders, weak chin, and a very long eyelash? Oh.
Oh, no.
That one's mine, actually.
Intel shows he's here to get the stolen plans for our new missile defense system.
Our assignment: recover those plans.
I'll cover the exit.
I'm going in.
You can't go in the lounge.
It's for adults only.
Not a problem.
My little girl's grown up so fast.
KIRA: He's on the move and he's got a briefcase.
( beeps ) I have a visual on the plans.
Let's do this! Didn't anyone ever tell you not to play with matches? I highly recommend the filet of sole.
Ooh aah! I can't believe you hit me.
I'm just a little girl.
A little girl who just girl-stomped you, son.
Time for you to chill out.
What? You never heard of a teenage spy? ( clanging ) Sorry.
I didn't have time for dessert.
Morning, Mom.
Hey, I need my permission slip signed for my field trip next week.
No slip, no trip.
No trip, I flip.
Kind of busy here.
So am I.
I mean, I have a test to study for, a paper to write, and I still find time to bug you.
Sweetie, I run an accounting firm, I take care of two kids, cook, clean, do the laundry, and have to convince your father his hair isn't thinning.
You really want to compete with me? I get it.
You're busy.
I'll just sign it for you.
No, K.
C.
, you really shouldn't Wow! You do my signature better than I do.
Is there anything you aren't good at? Yes, failing! Well, you're just perfect, aren't ya? Well, I am Mom and Dad's favorite.
( laughs ) Yeah, right.
There's my K.
C.
! My pride and joy Uh Hello? Oh, hey, Ernie.
Didn't see you there.
You guys want to laugh? K.
C.
thinks she's your favorite.
Funny, right? Right? Mom? Oh, hey, Ernie.
Didn't see you there.
Don't be ridiculous.
Just because K.
C.
has an A average, she's a black belt in karate, and she single-handedly retrofitted the whole house to run on solar power, doesn't mean you're not as good as ( toaster rings ) Hey, look, breakfast is ready! So, I'm thinking tonight you come over, hack into the school's network and switch all the cute boys into my classes.
Okay.
Marisa, as much as I enjoy risking expulsion so that you can get a date, tonight is a school night and Please don't say it.
I need to study.
She said it.
Okay.
How many times do we have to go over this? Study, bad.
Party, good.
The first dance of the year is Friday night and we are going.
And we're gonna get all boom, boom pretty on Shakira, I hear ya Shakira, I hear ya ( indistinct ) My hips My hips Marisa.
Marisa.
Marisa.
Yeah.
Half of the school is now staring at us.
How embarrassing.
Why isn't the other half staring? Okay, look, the point is even if I wanted to go, which I don't, I have a robotics club meeting Friday night.
Ugh, come on, K.
C.
, you're going to that dance and having some fun.
Yes, because there's nothing more fun than sitting around and watching you flirt with guys all night, waiting for one to talk to me Which thankfully never happens.
Because every time I do trying talk to a guy, I just come off sound like a complete idiot.
I mean, my brain says something really cute and funny, but my mouth is just kind of like, "Blah blahbitty blah blah blah.
" Oh, come on! You are exaggerating.
How are you doing, Marisa? Oh, hey, Ryan, cute jacket.
Thanks.
Hey, K.
C.
.
Hey jacket, cute jacket.
I mean, hey cute, Ryan jacket.
Hey, j Oh, just kill me.
I'm worried about K.
C.
.
I I just hope testing her is the right thing to do.
It's all going to be okay.
She's never met a test she couldn't ace.
Ha ha ha Takes after her old man.
She sure does.
Oh, here she comes.
K.
C.
? My name is Wally.
I'm with a secret government agency.
It can't be that much of a secret if you go around telling people.
This is my ID.
You need to come with me.
Okay.
Uh, I think you have the wrong K.
C.
.
Let me just show you my ID.
Oh! My belly button! I think you just turned my outie into an innie! Ow! Ow! Let me go! Please stop that! Ow! Help! Help! Let me go! Okay, uh the police just got here and they said that they're going to wait outside and give you one last chance to let me go, and if you do they won't be mad.
Man, this is gonna hurt.
Okay, seriously, can't just hang here all day.
Stand back! All right? I watch reality shows.
I will scratch your eyes out and scar you emotionally.
One minute, forty two seconds.
A new record! Okay, I don't know what is wrong with you people, but if you think my parents are gonna pay some big ransom, you are sadly mistaken.
Okay.
They are not rich.
They are just boring accountants.
Now, I wouldn't say we're boring.
And accounting isn't our only job.
Honey, we're also spies.
And we need your help on a mission.
What? Okay, so let me just get this straight.
Um, basically, you guys have been lying to me my entire life.
Honey, we wanted to tell you we were spies, but we weren't allowed to.
Well, we could have, but then we would've had to kill you.
You guys are joking, right? Yeah.
Okay.
I just don't get it.
Why me? I'm j What were you guys talking about? TOGETHER: Nothing! Are you planning a surprise party for me? I knew you guys wouldn't forget my birthday again.
But why me? I'm just a regular kid.
A regular kid? No.
We had you tested when you were three, you were certified a genius.
You used to read us bedtime stories.
Shakespeare.
Wait, I'm a I'm a genius? Why didn't you guys tell me that? Because we didn't want you to get a big head Which, according to the tests, you already have, because your brain is so big.
And let's face it, sweetie, you kick butt! Your first lesson at "Karate Kiddies" when you were five, you crushed your sensei's windpipe.
Wa You guys said he choked on a raisin.
Again Whoa.
Plus, you're perfect for this mission, because you go to Hamilton High.
Our intel shows one of the students is an undercover teen spy working for the other side.
Now, we need someone on the inside we can trust.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it ( giggles ) I love saying that.
It gets old, baby.
Is to identify that spy and recover the code for a new virus that jams cell towers, rendering every mobile device useless, thus creating worldwide havoc.
You mean it all goes down? No texting, no selfies, no super cute kitten pics no checking in? If I go somewhere and I can't check in, how will I even know that I was there? Tell me about it.
But, sweetie, you can help stop the virus.
So, what do you say, K.
C.
? Are you in? Oh, hey! Any chance you changed your mind about going to the dance? Because a lot of cute boys are going! Please.
Marisa, you know that school dances are not my thing.
Plus, I have way too much going on to be worrying about meeting some Boy! Who is that boy? Lincoln Treadwell.
He just moved to D.
C.
From where? Heaven? Wait, um, just moved to D.
C.
? Wow, this mission is gonna be a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
What do you mean? ( beeps ) Nothing.
Oh, sorry, I can't eat with you.
I have to go to detention.
Wait.
You're in trouble again? Oh, no.
No, no, no.
It's a dedication ceremony.
They're naming the room after me.
Of course I'm in trouble.
( laughs ) Hey, Reena.
How you doing? Let me guess, you don't have anyone to sit with, so you figured sitting with the girl sitting by herself in a wheelchair was better than sitting alone? I would not have put it that way, but okay.
Well, too bad! I'm saving these seats.
Sure, you are.
Ermahgerd, Reena! Why is that annoybot sitting in my seat? Hi, Julie.
Uh, my name's not Julie, it's Juli.
J-U-L-I.
No E! I was just leaving, Juli no E.
And, by the way, not only do you have no 'e', but you have no class.
Uh, of course I have no class.
It's lunch.
Activate eavesdrop mode.
( beeping and whirring ) The code for the cell tower jamming program is embedded in a smart phone.
Your contact will hand off at the school dance Friday night.
That's too bad.
I was just about to post really cute selfie.
You and me, both, brother.
You and me both.
Dad, come in, Dad.
Hi, honey.
Hologram-high-five.
( guffaws ) I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I pull that on all the rookies.
So, what do you got? I spotted the target.
He's going by the name of Lincoln Treadwell.
He's tall and he's cute and his hair is all Not important.
The virus is embedded in a phone that he is receiving at the school dance.
Good work! So, now what do I do? Well, you need to get Lincoln to ask you to the dance, so you can stay close to him until you recover that phone.
Go with him? Like on a a date? Oh, don't tell me you've never had a date.
No, I haven't.
Because someone told me I wasn't allowed to until I was 18.
Well, excuse me if I don't want my little girl to grow up too soon.
Now, when you go to the dance, don't forget to bring your ninja stars, your brass knuckles and stun gun.
I need all that for my first mission? No, for your first date.
Dad, out.
( sighs ) Well, if he likes girls like Juli, I'll just be like Juli.
Oh my god, Lincoln! I'm K.
C.
, no 'e'.
No, wait, there is an 'e', but it's after an 'I', like 'I' before 'e, ' except after 'c' except in this case, it is after a 'c'.
So much for rules.
Anywho.
Um, you're, like new and stuff, and there's this dance Friday night.
What do you say we, like, go together? I know the electric cha-cha slide.
Cha-cha.
Whoa, that that is tempting, but no.
Ermahgerd.
What was I thinking? You know what? I wasn't thinking because if I was thinking, I would've never agreed to all this.
Been there.
Said the same thing as I was walking down the aisle.
Excuse me? I meant the first time.
Excuse me? Not now, honey.
You were saying? I blew my mission, because I am too ( door closes ) Too busy whispering to remember to pick me up from school again? Why didn't you call? I did.
Eighty-three times.
Call a brother back.
Oh, that was you? I didn't recognize your number.
( groans ) Look, I blew my mission, because I am too pathetic to get a guy to go to a dance with me.
I made a complete fool out of myself.
And the worse part is I can't even talk to my best friend about it.
Sure you can.
I'm listening.
Dad, I am talking about Marisa.
I get it, sweetheart.
It's not easy leading a double life.
I'm 16, I haven't even figured out how to live one life.
You know, you can still go to the dance and complete your mission.
The K.
C.
I know never gives up.
Don't forget, your country needs you.
No.
You guys cannot keep putting that pressure on me.
Look, I am not some spy girl, okay? I am just a girl.
An ordinary girl.
No, you're not.
You're you're extraordinary.
Oh, look, I know you guys keep saying that.
But I don't feel extraordinary, okay? I just feel overwhelmed.
You know what? Forget this spy stuff, okay? I'm done.
Done.
Fine, it's your decision.
But you really disappointed us.
We expected more from you, K.
C.
I guess we see more in you than you see in yourself.
Hey, Marisa, it's me.
Um Let's say I actually wanted to go to this dance Friday night.
What would I wear? Marisa? Hello? Sorry, I took so long.
Okay, so this one will show off your legs, but this one will bring out your eyes.
Hold these, I've got to go back for the shoes.
She's a girl! She's a girl! Wow! Look at you! Thanks! Wasn't a compliment, Sweetie.
( clicking ) Initiating fart sequence.
Silent but deadly mode.
( beeps ) Eww! It wasn't me! I swear! Sorry, the one who smelt it, dealt it.
That is nasty! Ugh! ( yelping ) Bye, Sweetie.
No 'e'.
I guess your date had to go.
If you want, you can hang with me.
Okay.
That'd be cool.
( both beep ) ( beeping and whirring ) Whatchya looking for? Nothing.
What are you looking for? Nothing.
( beeping intensifies ) I'll be right back.
I'll go with you.
You can't.
Why not? It's something I have to do alone.
Like what? Like Go to the boys' room.
I can go to the I'll be right here.
( beeping intensifies ) ( sighs ) K.
C.
, I am so happy you're here.
And look at you.
You look absolutely perfect.
What exactly is up with you? I mean, I haven't seen you this happy since your parents pulled you out of that all girls school.
It's just a dance.
You're my best friend.
And now my little antisocial caterpillar is transforming into a beautiful, outgoing butterfly.
Oh! I'm back.
Wow, you work quick, Butterfly! Time for me to spread my own wings.
Hi.
( tango music playing ) Ugh, how lame.
Like anyone knows how to dance to this? I do.
I do.
Me too! Me too! I learned it from watching one of those celebrity dancing shows.
Want to? Sure.
You're a spy.
So are you.
I'm taking you in.
No, I'm taking you in even though I don't know where "in" actually is.
I can't blow my cover but I can dip you.
Wow.
This is so not what I thought my first school dance would be like.
No way! This was my first school dance, too.
Really? I actually had fun.
You know, up until you picked me up and threw me over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
Okay, that wasn't so bad either.
Just so you know, I really wanted to go to the dance with you, but I I couldn't.
You know, orders.
Wait.
Why? I acted like a total dork when I asked you to the dance.
But but most of the time you're cool.
How do you know? Well, I I am a spy.
And I've been trained to notice things, like really awesome girls.
( giggles ) Wait, just to be clear, that girl was me, right? Yeah.
So, I'm assuming you're going to let me live.
I have to double check with headquarters, but, uh fingers crossed.
( clicks, beeps ) Mom, come in.
I need you.
Hello.
Can you hear me? Hello? Mom? Hello? Mom.
Mom, I'm in trouble.
Can you hear me? Hello? Mom? ERNIE: K.
C.
? What the heck is this thing? Great.
Mom forgot her bracelet.
What is going on? I'm not supposed to tell you this, but Mom and Dad are spies and I have been recruited to help them on a mission.
Slow your roll.
How do I know I can believe you? We are talking on a bracelet.
Well, that doesn't mean anything.
Okay, that means something.
So it's true? You're all spies? Hey! Why wasn't I asked to be a spy? Please, you are so not cut out to be a spy.
Oh, really? Remember the time I managed to sneak into the girls' locker room? Yes, everyone remembers.
You were caught immediately.
Look, if Mom and Dad check in, tell them that I'm being held against my will in the A/V storage room.
I'm going to try to make it out alive, but if I don't, I'm going to be really late for curfew.
Sure, I'll let them know.
I just hope I'm cut out to deliver a message.
( giggling ) Come on, Jason.
This is a nice quiet place where we can talk.
Marisa! Oh, sorry.
Ocupado! No, no, no! No, no, no! Don't go.
( door closes ) Just a hunch, she doesn't do very well in school, does she? ( inaudible ) ( inaudible ) Whoa! Whoa! Not the face! Not the face! Gotcha.
Not cut out to be a spy, huh? Thank you.
I believe I just saved your butt with my butt.
Oh, by the way, genius? The door was unlocked.
No, it wasn't.
I was pulling, pulling Oh, fudge.
Hey, uh, how about you let me go and we grab a bite to eat? You like sushi? Nice try, but I don't date bad boys.
Thank you.
So, I'm, uh, I'm assuming you're going to let me live? Fingers crossed.
Oh, I am so proud.
You completed your first mission.
You know me, I never give up.
I never doubted you for a second.
My little girl kicked butt tonight! The whole world owes you a debt of gratitude.
Excuse me? Aren't we forgetting somebody again? You know what, he's right.
If it weren't for you, I would have never completed that mission.
Ernie, you are the real hero.
You know, I totally underestimated you, son.
We should've recruited you to be a spy and not K.
C.
You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that Oh, don't worry, he'll wake up totally refreshed in the morning and he won't remember anything that's happened in the last six hours.
See, baby, I told you everything was going to be okay.
Yes, you did.
My big strong spy daddy.
You know I am.
Ooh! Ooh! I keep it undercover.
Rob, your name's on TV.
C.
, we're at an expensive French restaurant.
What are you doing on your phone? Ordering a pizza.
Why do we bother taking her to nice places? You know what? Here's an idea.
How about I go to the mall and you guys pick me up when you're done? Or don't.
Okay.
Target has entered the restaurant.
I have facial recognition confirmation.
Target matches the profile: Slight limp, broad shoulders, weak chin, and a very long eyelash? Oh.
Oh, no.
That one's mine, actually.
Intel shows he's here to get the stolen plans for our new missile defense system.
Our assignment: recover those plans.
I'll cover the exit.
I'm going in.
You can't go in the lounge.
It's for adults only.
Not a problem.
My little girl's grown up so fast.
KIRA: He's on the move and he's got a briefcase.
( beeps ) I have a visual on the plans.
Let's do this! Didn't anyone ever tell you not to play with matches? I highly recommend the filet of sole.
Ooh aah! I can't believe you hit me.
I'm just a little girl.
A little girl who just girl-stomped you, son.
Time for you to chill out.
What? You never heard of a teenage spy? ( clanging ) Sorry.
I didn't have time for dessert.
Morning, Mom.
Hey, I need my permission slip signed for my field trip next week.
No slip, no trip.
No trip, I flip.
Kind of busy here.
So am I.
I mean, I have a test to study for, a paper to write, and I still find time to bug you.
Sweetie, I run an accounting firm, I take care of two kids, cook, clean, do the laundry, and have to convince your father his hair isn't thinning.
You really want to compete with me? I get it.
You're busy.
I'll just sign it for you.
No, K.
C.
, you really shouldn't Wow! You do my signature better than I do.
Is there anything you aren't good at? Yes, failing! Well, you're just perfect, aren't ya? Well, I am Mom and Dad's favorite.
( laughs ) Yeah, right.
There's my K.
C.
! My pride and joy Uh Hello? Oh, hey, Ernie.
Didn't see you there.
You guys want to laugh? K.
C.
thinks she's your favorite.
Funny, right? Right? Mom? Oh, hey, Ernie.
Didn't see you there.
Don't be ridiculous.
Just because K.
C.
has an A average, she's a black belt in karate, and she single-handedly retrofitted the whole house to run on solar power, doesn't mean you're not as good as ( toaster rings ) Hey, look, breakfast is ready! So, I'm thinking tonight you come over, hack into the school's network and switch all the cute boys into my classes.
Okay.
Marisa, as much as I enjoy risking expulsion so that you can get a date, tonight is a school night and Please don't say it.
I need to study.
She said it.
Okay.
How many times do we have to go over this? Study, bad.
Party, good.
The first dance of the year is Friday night and we are going.
And we're gonna get all boom, boom pretty on Shakira, I hear ya Shakira, I hear ya ( indistinct ) My hips My hips Marisa.
Marisa.
Marisa.
Yeah.
Half of the school is now staring at us.
How embarrassing.
Why isn't the other half staring? Okay, look, the point is even if I wanted to go, which I don't, I have a robotics club meeting Friday night.
Ugh, come on, K.
C.
, you're going to that dance and having some fun.
Yes, because there's nothing more fun than sitting around and watching you flirt with guys all night, waiting for one to talk to me Which thankfully never happens.
Because every time I do trying talk to a guy, I just come off sound like a complete idiot.
I mean, my brain says something really cute and funny, but my mouth is just kind of like, "Blah blahbitty blah blah blah.
" Oh, come on! You are exaggerating.
How are you doing, Marisa? Oh, hey, Ryan, cute jacket.
Thanks.
Hey, K.
C.
.
Hey jacket, cute jacket.
I mean, hey cute, Ryan jacket.
Hey, j Oh, just kill me.
I'm worried about K.
C.
.
I I just hope testing her is the right thing to do.
It's all going to be okay.
She's never met a test she couldn't ace.
Ha ha ha Takes after her old man.
She sure does.
Oh, here she comes.
K.
C.
? My name is Wally.
I'm with a secret government agency.
It can't be that much of a secret if you go around telling people.
This is my ID.
You need to come with me.
Okay.
Uh, I think you have the wrong K.
C.
.
Let me just show you my ID.
Oh! My belly button! I think you just turned my outie into an innie! Ow! Ow! Let me go! Please stop that! Ow! Help! Help! Let me go! Okay, uh the police just got here and they said that they're going to wait outside and give you one last chance to let me go, and if you do they won't be mad.
Man, this is gonna hurt.
Okay, seriously, can't just hang here all day.
Stand back! All right? I watch reality shows.
I will scratch your eyes out and scar you emotionally.
One minute, forty two seconds.
A new record! Okay, I don't know what is wrong with you people, but if you think my parents are gonna pay some big ransom, you are sadly mistaken.
Okay.
They are not rich.
They are just boring accountants.
Now, I wouldn't say we're boring.
And accounting isn't our only job.
Honey, we're also spies.
And we need your help on a mission.
What? Okay, so let me just get this straight.
Um, basically, you guys have been lying to me my entire life.
Honey, we wanted to tell you we were spies, but we weren't allowed to.
Well, we could have, but then we would've had to kill you.
You guys are joking, right? Yeah.
Okay.
I just don't get it.
Why me? I'm j What were you guys talking about? TOGETHER: Nothing! Are you planning a surprise party for me? I knew you guys wouldn't forget my birthday again.
But why me? I'm just a regular kid.
A regular kid? No.
We had you tested when you were three, you were certified a genius.
You used to read us bedtime stories.
Shakespeare.
Wait, I'm a I'm a genius? Why didn't you guys tell me that? Because we didn't want you to get a big head Which, according to the tests, you already have, because your brain is so big.
And let's face it, sweetie, you kick butt! Your first lesson at "Karate Kiddies" when you were five, you crushed your sensei's windpipe.
Wa You guys said he choked on a raisin.
Again Whoa.
Plus, you're perfect for this mission, because you go to Hamilton High.
Our intel shows one of the students is an undercover teen spy working for the other side.
Now, we need someone on the inside we can trust.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it ( giggles ) I love saying that.
It gets old, baby.
Is to identify that spy and recover the code for a new virus that jams cell towers, rendering every mobile device useless, thus creating worldwide havoc.
You mean it all goes down? No texting, no selfies, no super cute kitten pics no checking in? If I go somewhere and I can't check in, how will I even know that I was there? Tell me about it.
But, sweetie, you can help stop the virus.
So, what do you say, K.
C.
? Are you in? Oh, hey! Any chance you changed your mind about going to the dance? Because a lot of cute boys are going! Please.
Marisa, you know that school dances are not my thing.
Plus, I have way too much going on to be worrying about meeting some Boy! Who is that boy? Lincoln Treadwell.
He just moved to D.
C.
From where? Heaven? Wait, um, just moved to D.
C.
? Wow, this mission is gonna be a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
What do you mean? ( beeps ) Nothing.
Oh, sorry, I can't eat with you.
I have to go to detention.
Wait.
You're in trouble again? Oh, no.
No, no, no.
It's a dedication ceremony.
They're naming the room after me.
Of course I'm in trouble.
( laughs ) Hey, Reena.
How you doing? Let me guess, you don't have anyone to sit with, so you figured sitting with the girl sitting by herself in a wheelchair was better than sitting alone? I would not have put it that way, but okay.
Well, too bad! I'm saving these seats.
Sure, you are.
Ermahgerd, Reena! Why is that annoybot sitting in my seat? Hi, Julie.
Uh, my name's not Julie, it's Juli.
J-U-L-I.
No E! I was just leaving, Juli no E.
And, by the way, not only do you have no 'e', but you have no class.
Uh, of course I have no class.
It's lunch.
Activate eavesdrop mode.
( beeping and whirring ) The code for the cell tower jamming program is embedded in a smart phone.
Your contact will hand off at the school dance Friday night.
That's too bad.
I was just about to post really cute selfie.
You and me, both, brother.
You and me both.
Dad, come in, Dad.
Hi, honey.
Hologram-high-five.
( guffaws ) I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I pull that on all the rookies.
So, what do you got? I spotted the target.
He's going by the name of Lincoln Treadwell.
He's tall and he's cute and his hair is all Not important.
The virus is embedded in a phone that he is receiving at the school dance.
Good work! So, now what do I do? Well, you need to get Lincoln to ask you to the dance, so you can stay close to him until you recover that phone.
Go with him? Like on a a date? Oh, don't tell me you've never had a date.
No, I haven't.
Because someone told me I wasn't allowed to until I was 18.
Well, excuse me if I don't want my little girl to grow up too soon.
Now, when you go to the dance, don't forget to bring your ninja stars, your brass knuckles and stun gun.
I need all that for my first mission? No, for your first date.
Dad, out.
( sighs ) Well, if he likes girls like Juli, I'll just be like Juli.
Oh my god, Lincoln! I'm K.
C.
, no 'e'.
No, wait, there is an 'e', but it's after an 'I', like 'I' before 'e, ' except after 'c' except in this case, it is after a 'c'.
So much for rules.
Anywho.
Um, you're, like new and stuff, and there's this dance Friday night.
What do you say we, like, go together? I know the electric cha-cha slide.
Cha-cha.
Whoa, that that is tempting, but no.
Ermahgerd.
What was I thinking? You know what? I wasn't thinking because if I was thinking, I would've never agreed to all this.
Been there.
Said the same thing as I was walking down the aisle.
Excuse me? I meant the first time.
Excuse me? Not now, honey.
You were saying? I blew my mission, because I am too ( door closes ) Too busy whispering to remember to pick me up from school again? Why didn't you call? I did.
Eighty-three times.
Call a brother back.
Oh, that was you? I didn't recognize your number.
( groans ) Look, I blew my mission, because I am too pathetic to get a guy to go to a dance with me.
I made a complete fool out of myself.
And the worse part is I can't even talk to my best friend about it.
Sure you can.
I'm listening.
Dad, I am talking about Marisa.
I get it, sweetheart.
It's not easy leading a double life.
I'm 16, I haven't even figured out how to live one life.
You know, you can still go to the dance and complete your mission.
The K.
C.
I know never gives up.
Don't forget, your country needs you.
No.
You guys cannot keep putting that pressure on me.
Look, I am not some spy girl, okay? I am just a girl.
An ordinary girl.
No, you're not.
You're you're extraordinary.
Oh, look, I know you guys keep saying that.
But I don't feel extraordinary, okay? I just feel overwhelmed.
You know what? Forget this spy stuff, okay? I'm done.
Done.
Fine, it's your decision.
But you really disappointed us.
We expected more from you, K.
C.
I guess we see more in you than you see in yourself.
Hey, Marisa, it's me.
Um Let's say I actually wanted to go to this dance Friday night.
What would I wear? Marisa? Hello? Sorry, I took so long.
Okay, so this one will show off your legs, but this one will bring out your eyes.
Hold these, I've got to go back for the shoes.
She's a girl! She's a girl! Wow! Look at you! Thanks! Wasn't a compliment, Sweetie.
( clicking ) Initiating fart sequence.
Silent but deadly mode.
( beeps ) Eww! It wasn't me! I swear! Sorry, the one who smelt it, dealt it.
That is nasty! Ugh! ( yelping ) Bye, Sweetie.
No 'e'.
I guess your date had to go.
If you want, you can hang with me.
Okay.
That'd be cool.
( both beep ) ( beeping and whirring ) Whatchya looking for? Nothing.
What are you looking for? Nothing.
( beeping intensifies ) I'll be right back.
I'll go with you.
You can't.
Why not? It's something I have to do alone.
Like what? Like Go to the boys' room.
I can go to the I'll be right here.
( beeping intensifies ) ( sighs ) K.
C.
, I am so happy you're here.
And look at you.
You look absolutely perfect.
What exactly is up with you? I mean, I haven't seen you this happy since your parents pulled you out of that all girls school.
It's just a dance.
You're my best friend.
And now my little antisocial caterpillar is transforming into a beautiful, outgoing butterfly.
Oh! I'm back.
Wow, you work quick, Butterfly! Time for me to spread my own wings.
Hi.
( tango music playing ) Ugh, how lame.
Like anyone knows how to dance to this? I do.
I do.
Me too! Me too! I learned it from watching one of those celebrity dancing shows.
Want to? Sure.
You're a spy.
So are you.
I'm taking you in.
No, I'm taking you in even though I don't know where "in" actually is.
I can't blow my cover but I can dip you.
Wow.
This is so not what I thought my first school dance would be like.
No way! This was my first school dance, too.
Really? I actually had fun.
You know, up until you picked me up and threw me over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
Okay, that wasn't so bad either.
Just so you know, I really wanted to go to the dance with you, but I I couldn't.
You know, orders.
Wait.
Why? I acted like a total dork when I asked you to the dance.
But but most of the time you're cool.
How do you know? Well, I I am a spy.
And I've been trained to notice things, like really awesome girls.
( giggles ) Wait, just to be clear, that girl was me, right? Yeah.
So, I'm assuming you're going to let me live.
I have to double check with headquarters, but, uh fingers crossed.
( clicks, beeps ) Mom, come in.
I need you.
Hello.
Can you hear me? Hello? Mom? Hello? Mom.
Mom, I'm in trouble.
Can you hear me? Hello? Mom? ERNIE: K.
C.
? What the heck is this thing? Great.
Mom forgot her bracelet.
What is going on? I'm not supposed to tell you this, but Mom and Dad are spies and I have been recruited to help them on a mission.
Slow your roll.
How do I know I can believe you? We are talking on a bracelet.
Well, that doesn't mean anything.
Okay, that means something.
So it's true? You're all spies? Hey! Why wasn't I asked to be a spy? Please, you are so not cut out to be a spy.
Oh, really? Remember the time I managed to sneak into the girls' locker room? Yes, everyone remembers.
You were caught immediately.
Look, if Mom and Dad check in, tell them that I'm being held against my will in the A/V storage room.
I'm going to try to make it out alive, but if I don't, I'm going to be really late for curfew.
Sure, I'll let them know.
I just hope I'm cut out to deliver a message.
( giggling ) Come on, Jason.
This is a nice quiet place where we can talk.
Marisa! Oh, sorry.
Ocupado! No, no, no! No, no, no! Don't go.
( door closes ) Just a hunch, she doesn't do very well in school, does she? ( inaudible ) ( inaudible ) Whoa! Whoa! Not the face! Not the face! Gotcha.
Not cut out to be a spy, huh? Thank you.
I believe I just saved your butt with my butt.
Oh, by the way, genius? The door was unlocked.
No, it wasn't.
I was pulling, pulling Oh, fudge.
Hey, uh, how about you let me go and we grab a bite to eat? You like sushi? Nice try, but I don't date bad boys.
Thank you.
So, I'm, uh, I'm assuming you're going to let me live? Fingers crossed.
Oh, I am so proud.
You completed your first mission.
You know me, I never give up.
I never doubted you for a second.
My little girl kicked butt tonight! The whole world owes you a debt of gratitude.
Excuse me? Aren't we forgetting somebody again? You know what, he's right.
If it weren't for you, I would have never completed that mission.
Ernie, you are the real hero.
You know, I totally underestimated you, son.
We should've recruited you to be a spy and not K.
C.
You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that Oh, don't worry, he'll wake up totally refreshed in the morning and he won't remember anything that's happened in the last six hours.
See, baby, I told you everything was going to be okay.
Yes, you did.
My big strong spy daddy.
You know I am.
Ooh! Ooh! I keep it undercover.
Rob, your name's on TV.