Leanne (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
You okay?
I don't know.
Can I get you anything?
I'm fine.
You sure?
I got Xanax, Ativan, Ambien.
I think this might be a laxative.
I'll always take a laxative.
I'm just so confused.
You marry, you have precious babies.
Those babies have babies.
You keep a house running the best you can.
You wear tiny, hateful panties
that go up into your crack and split you
in two 'cause you love him, you do!
You build a life in sickness and in health
because you took a vow
when you were young and skinny.
And you could've
married little Tommy Turner.
- He was so cute.
- So cute!
It didn't matter
that he only came up to here.
But you chose Bill Murphy.
Because he was solid and kind.
Could've been a little bit more chatty.
You know, men only have
so many words they use in a day.
Sometimes, not even words.
It's more like noises.
And then, after 33 years
of complete and utter devotion,
you find out he's run off
with a younger woman.
- How do you know she's younger?
- She has to be!
Otherwise, I'm driving off a bridge.
I A-Any idea
how long this has been going on?
I'm no Sherlock Holmes,
but I'd say around the time
Amazon delivered that nose hair trimmer.
So what do you wanna do?
You wanna break some dishes?
Set his clothes on fire?
Get drunk on Kahlúa and wander around
Walmart in your nightgown?
That was you.
All I'm saying is,
I've been where you are more than once.
Twice.
Okay.
But when it does come,
when the breakdown of all breakdowns hits,
I'll be there.
- I know you will.
- As you've been there for me.
- I have.
- But now it's your turn.
Hey, Mom.
Hey, my sweet angels.
Give me that baby.
- How are you doing?
- I'm fine.
- Aunt Carol?
- She's processing.
Nothing to process.
Your daddy has chosen
another woman to love and to cherish
and do nasty, filthy things with.
I will just have to carry on
and go back to Weight Watchers.
Processing.
Mom, you don't have to be strong.
I can't help it. I'm from farming people.
We're built for lifting and hauling.
I will meet this unexpected turn of events
with grace and dignity.
And alcohol.
Again, that's you.
I do need one favor.
Anything.
Your son's name, Bill Jr., is problematic.
What? It's on his birth certificate.
He's been baptized.
So we'll re-dunk him.
The name Bill
will never be said in this house again.
Aunt Carol, say something.
- How about Rex?
- I love it.
No. No Rex. We're not changing his name.
He won't know the difference.
Look at him.
He looks like a Rex to me.
Grandmama loves her big boy Rex.
Here you go. I made it sugar-free.
I know you're diabetic.
- Thank you, Leanne.
- Don't need you losing another foot.
- Don't know how long I can keep this up.
- Just breathe.
- I'm having dark thoughts, Carol.
- That's understandable.
I keep imagining
Bill and this other woman,
and I'm stabbing them over and over
until my arm gets tired.
Hey, Sylvie. Cute dress.
And there's blood everywhere,
and I'm laughing.
Well, how could you not?
No. Just remember,
your son turned out good.
- Hey, Mom.
- That's what you wear to church?
I would've changed,
but I haven't been home yet.
- Where on earth have you been?
- Not sure. I think it was a blue house.
Where's Dad?
Well, he woke up with a tickle
in his throat and feeling clammy.
- I thought with his history of strep
- Hang on, they found my car.
Okay.
At some point, you gotta tell her
about you and Bill.
Yeah, but not here.
I'm certainly gonna wait
until she's sober.
So at family day at Betty Ford?
Lord. Hey, Mary. How you doing, doll?
You know me,
basking in the sunshine of our Savior.
Working on a melanoma. Good for you.
- Wasn't it a beautiful service?
- It truly was.
It is nice to have you back, Carol.
I was so sorry to hear
about your marriage.
We were rooting for you
and that Italian feller.
- He's from New Hampshire.
- Still a Catholic.
- Can I get you some Jell-O salad?
- Thank you.
So where's Bill today?
- Sick.
- Working.
Sick of working.
Honey, I tell you,
if my husband traveled as much as Bill,
I'd be up all night with runaway thoughts.
Your husband's dead.
But I know where he is.
You have a blessed Sunday!
- Lord, I hate that woman.
- It's like she's got my phone tapped.
- Her new teeth look good, though.
- They do.
Right?
You gonna tell Mama and Daddy?
Absolutely not.
It'll break their little hearts.
- You can't keep it a secret.
- Watch me.
Here you go, Mama and Daddy.
- Yum.
- Thank you.
Look at you two.
Y'all are the cutest couple.
Walter died.
Walter down the block?
Well, he's not down the block anymore.
He's in the sweet arms of Jesus.
I never liked him. He was a little handsy.
We don't speak ill of the dead,
but yes, he was.
In my day, we'd walk a pervert deep
into the woods and come back alone.
Where's Bill?
Um, Bill's working, Mama.
On Sunday?
No rest for the wicked.
You know, he promised that he was gonna
build us one of those walk-in bathtubs
with a little door and a seat, like on TV.
Sit in the shower?
The day I do that,
I'm walking myself into the woods.
So when can Bill get started?
I don't know, but if he said
he'd build it, then he will.
He's a good man, Leanne.
You're lucky to have him.
- Sure am.
- Salt of the earth.
Yeah. Salt.
God love him.
Yeah, God love him.
God love Bill Murphy!
Menopause.
I might need to find a new church.
Please, you've been
a good Christian your whole life.
You're entitled to a small,
psychotic break during fellowship.
- Where are you going?
- To check on Dad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come back. We've gotta talk.
What'd I do now?
It's not you, honey.
It's not me either.
I just drink on the weekends.
Sit.
Your daddy's not sick.
But there is something wrong with him.
I don't know how to tell you this
other than tell you.
Your father has left me for another woman.
My gosh, Mom.
- I know.
- I'm in shock.
Yeah.
So what, is she like young and hot?
I don't really know.
But one would assume.
This explains everything.
What?
Why I am the way I am.
Okay, what "am" you?
Hello, I'm a child of divorce.
Sweetie, this just happened yesterday.
Did it?
Or has it been going on my whole life?
No idea.
What happens now?
I have to choose between you and Dad?
Of course not.
I would never ask that of you.
But if you want to choose
good over evil, I'm here for you.
It's not that simple, Mom.
There's two sides.
There's always two sides.
There's one side. It's my side.
It's the side that took you
to get fitted for a diaphragm!
Wow.
I blame myself.
For that?
I took a buttload of Dexatrim
before I knew I was pregnant with her.
Yeah, that could do it.
And I kept wondering
why I wasn't losing weight.
Can't believe I'm gonna be a divorcee.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I'm one.
What's that look?
You can't compare our situations.
You married Boris because he had a Camaro.
And Alex, so his dying little mama
wouldn't know he was gay.
She knew. She left him her pearls.
Point is, I was married
to my college sweetheart for 33 years.
We had a successful business together.
We raised two wonderful children.
We have a beautiful grandbaby.
So?
So I win.
Now I'm looking to be alone
for the rest of my life.
Don't be ridiculous.
You'll find someone.
- Are you crazy? I'm not gonna date.
- Why not?
You think I'm gonna crawl into
a stranger's bed and let him see all this?
Please, get a juice cleanse
and a spray tan, you're open for business.
You don't understand.
Even if this was all tight and tawny,
up here, the idea of being
with another man is unthinkable.
It turns my stomach.
What if it was Tim McGraw?
We could make out on his bus
and see what happens.
Attagirl, I'll keep his bass player busy.
If only we had hormones.
Here you go, Daddy.
Thank you.
Did I tell you Walter died?
- You did.
- Did I tell you how?
No.
Reading on the toilet.
It's a silent killer.
That's why I keep the door open.
Thinking ahead. Smart.
- How you doing on money?
- I'm fine.
Of course. You ain't got no children.
I swear, I will never
make my children bathe me.
Carol ain't got no children.
Yes, Daddy, thank you.
It was your turn.
I know.
Wish we could put a snorkel in her mouth
and run her through a car wash.
You wouldn't have to help her
if Bill gets started
on that walk-in tub he promised.
Um, he was here the other day,
taking measurements.
Isn't that right, Carol?
- He was?
- He was.
He was.
Bill was here?
Daddy.
You have a nice bath, Mama?
What you doing?
Taking this potato salad
over to Walter's widow.
Don't you think
you want to put some clothes on first?
She's just down the road.
Are we just gonna watch this happen?
She'll find her way back. She always does.
Did I tell you Walter died?
- You did.
- Did I tell you how?
Brace yourself.
I tell you Walter died?
Stop it.
You have got to be kidding me.
What are you doing here?
I just came to get a few of my things.
You son of a bitch.
I always knew you couldn't be trusted.
What are you talking about?
I'm who you called
when you had "trouble" in Mexico.
What's this now?
Don't listen to him, he's a proven liar!
Thank you for your help, but I got this.
Go.
- I mean, I've got this by myself.
- What do you want me to do?
I don't know,
take a walk around the block.
Okay.
It was a destination wedding,
and I was framed.
So what? You were hoping
to sneak out without having to face me?
That was the idea, yeah.
Who ends a 33-year marriage with an email?
- Can we not do this now?
- I'm sorry!
Is this inconvenient for you?
When would be a good time?
Tomorrow?
Who are you? Talk to me.
I'm the same guy I've always been,
just… tired of being miserable.
You were miserable?
Did you ever think
to tell me you were miserable?!
Come on, you and I haven't
touched each other in years.
- We're more roommates.
- So this is all about you getting touched?
No, it's all about me being happy.
I found someone who makes me happy.
Somebody that makes you happy?
Yes, I did.
Darn it, now I'm happy.
I'm just over in Clarksville.
I can I can be around
for all the important stuff.
I thought I was the important stuff.
I'm so sorry.
I keep thinking this is a bad dream,
and I'm gonna wake up.
- You're gonna get through this.
- I won't.
You will, and you'll be stronger
and better for it.
What else you got?
I don't know, don't swim after a big meal?
I love you. Stop talking.
- Want me to stay the night?
- Thank you, but I can manage.
- Just help me make up this couch.
- Why?
- I can't sleep in that bedroom.
- Seriously?
We made a baby on that bed.
You never did it on the couch?
Yeah.
Technically, it wasn't this couch.
It was the green Chanel with the dimples.
The one you gave to me!
Yeah, but I flipped the cushions.
You can do this.
See you tomorrow?
Yeah, see you.
Night. Love you.
I love you, too.
- Carol!
- Yeah!
Come back!
Thank you.
- You'd do it for me.
- I would.
If you want, I can snore and fart
so you think he's still here.
Very considerate, but no.
- Good night.
- Good night.
You know what?
There is one thing you could do.