Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed (2026) s01e01 Episode Script

[people clamoring]
[sirens wailing]
[clamoring continues]
[presenter] They finally arrived.
I mean, check this out.
Check out the box.
It's absolutely incredible.
I can't wait to tear into this. So, yeah…
[person] I'm gonna kill him!
I am going to murder him.
I'm gonna murder that guy. I am gonna
chop him up into tiny little pieces
and then I'm gonna glue those pieces
back together, reanimate him,
- and chop him up again.
- [person 2] No, you're not, Paula.
[Paula] Yeah, probably not.
It's, like, a ton of work.
[person 2] Yeah, logistically speaking,
it'd be, like, a lot of work.
Like, bone glue and, like,
those weird clamps and…
Who watches cable TV anyway?
Can you please, like, stop and just…
Come on, have a beer with me.
I've got too much to do.
And I'll fall asleep. I'm old and broken.
You are not old.
[Paula] Well, I am broken.
How does this look?
Trev?
- What? What…
- This?
The goat is too small.
- Really?
- It's a small goat, yeah.
Okay.
- Small goat.
- [chuckles]
I need to get this place set up or else
Karl's not gonna let Hazel sleep here.
That is crazy.
[Paula] My ex's lawyer's,
like, super aggressive,
and mine got his job
because he's good at softball.
Relax, yeah?
- You're doing great.
- Well, that… that is untrue.
No, it is true. You just have
to push through this beginning.
[stammers] Beginnings are always
the hardest part, right?
No. Endings are the hardest part.
- [chuckles]
- Beginnings are pr…
you know, full of promise.
Like, maybe… I don't know…
just this one time,
instead of getting fisted
by the giant puppeteer in the sky,
I'll, like, find love or happiness.
Maybe even just a $20 bill
on the ground, right?
But then, if this is the good,
happy part of my life,
I might as well just cut it short
and take a bath with a toaster.
[chuckles] No.
- If I could even find it.
- No. No toasters.
It's possible I'm being dramatic. [sighs]
I think so, yeah.
Thank you for listening.
Of course.
[chuckles]
Oh, shit. I hate to do this, but
we've only got, like, six minutes left.
- Already?
- Yeah.
Unless, uh, you want another hour?
Can we make six minutes work?
Paula, come on. Six minutes?
Six minutes is like, uh, a lifetime.
Do you know how fast I can get you off?
[chuckles]
- Poor guy is suffocating down there.
- [Paula] Better let him breathe.
I'm gonna make you feel so good, Paula.
'Cause you deserve it.
Mmm. [exhales deeply]
Hey, come on. Take your clothes off.
I wanna see your body.
- [exhales deeply]
- Ticktock.
- Ticktock. Ticktock. Ticktock.
- Ticktock. Ticktock. Ticktock.
Ticktock. Ticktock. Ticktock.
Oh, my God. You're so hot.
No, you're so hot.
[scoffs] No, you're young and strong
and smooth like a dolphin.
It's not even close.
Wow, you look fucking gorgeous.
Are you ready for this?
Oh, fuck.
- Oh.
- [breathes heavily]
- [moaning] Oh. Yeah.
- Here
- we…
- [exhaling deeply]
…go.
- [horns honking]
- ["Shut Up and Let Me Go" playing]
[music continues]
- [music stops]
- [phone ringing]
- [singsongy] There's my baby.
- [Hazel] Hi, Mama.
Hi, Hazel.
I really want to sleep over at your
new apartment, but Dad says I can't yet.
Oh, you totally can. No, tomorrow night.
It's gonna be so much fun.
We need to do the banana dance.
We need to do the banana dance.
Oh, my God. I was born to banana dance.
You know,
I can do all the tropical fruits.
I can mango. I can pineapple.
- [coworker clears throat]
- I can--
Oh, I gotta go.
- Bye, Mommy. Love you!
- Hey, P.
Can I pretty please get any fact-checks
on that story, like, now?
Uh… Oh, well, I mean, it's 3,000 words,
and I just… just… just got it.
Yes, but somebody here is always late
on a deadline.
- Excuse me?
- JK, Drew. JK.
He is onto a major story, though,
so we have to move.
People want to read
about the senator's improprieties.
They don't care about precise deets.
Okay, yeah. [stammers] Totally get it.
But just in terms of, uh, fact checking,
there's some problematic "deets."
- [Drew] What?
- Look, well…
Like, she says she took the A-train
to get to his office.
- The A-train doesn't even go there.
- She took a train.
- It's truth-y. Help us, Paula.
- She took a train.
Look, Paula.
I know you have the highest standards.
But it's no good if we finish second.
You've asked for a bigger role here, yes?
Yes.
And we all agree
this department needs a leader.
And I'm totally ready for that.
Yeah, management is looking at outside
candidates. I have been pushing for you.
- Okay, thank you, thank you.
- No, don't thank me.
Just show everyone you are
who I hope you are.
We need this article by end of day.
Do you feel me?
[Paula] You are felt.
[coworker 2] Hey, P.
"You are felt"?
What a deeply weird thing to say.
[chuckles] Yeah. Were you trying
to be sarcastic or, like, kiss her ass?
Neither of them worked, by the way.
No, 'cause if you wanna kiss her ass,
you would hide your anger better.
Yeah. Like, we really hope
you become our boss.
Yeah, we're like, "We really hope
that you become our boss."
And if you would be sarcastic,
you would, like,
change your inflection a bit more.
We really hope you would become our boss.
You have to change the inflection.
[chuckles]
Could you please go back to work?
Come on, Paula. We're just, uh…
[in British accent] …"JK'ing."
- Paula, we're just "JK'ing."
- [in American accent] It's Suzie.
It's a Suzie impression
- because of her accent.
- 'Cause of the British accent.
- Up yours, Rudy.
- Okay, putting it up there.
Love ya.
[phones ringing]
Guys, I want to move my gator,
but we need more cha-ching
in those chats, you know?
You wanna see our tips,
we need to see your tips.
[chuckles] Beautifully put, Sky.
- We want fancy sushi for lunch.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Not that imitation crab.
We want crab crab!
[Sky chuckles]
Uh… Guys, remember
I do private video chats,
uh… as well. So, you know,
you turn your camera on too.
- [phone chimes]
- Just put the request in down there.
[clicks tongue]
[vocalizes]
[automated voice] I wanna play with you.
Meet me today. Deposit and screen name
required for all--
Hot and ready for you.
Explosive. One little deposit.
[blowing]
[Paula chuckles]
Hi.
Hey, good looking. How are you doing?
Uh… Yeah, good.
I thought we were having dinner together.
[kisses]
[chewing]
My mom is the exact opposite.
Like… super traditional. You know,
she's, like, a big fan of Barbara Bush.
[Paula chuckling]
[Trevor chuckles]
Yeah. We had, like, a farm
with animals and everything.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You are looking at the blue ribbon winner…
[in Southern accent]
…for my pig at the county fair.
[laughs] No, you're fucking with me.
[Trevor] I'm not. It's true.
Wait, is this, like, a fantasy
for one of your other clients?
Like, they like
to watch you milk a cow real slow?
No, I'm serious. [stammers] It's true.
It's, um… I have a picture somewhere.
[Paula] Honestly, I just didn't think
I'd be here, you know?
Like, I'm supposed
to have it all figured out.
And I'm a mess.
I have you and a third grader to talk to.
- [Trevor chuckles]
- Like, I'm barely treading water.
That's good company. [chuckles]
Also, you're saying treading water like…
like it's a bad thing.
But, I mean, treading water is
what you do to keep from drowning.
I did get a certificate in Girl Scouts
for treading water.
You are so smart, and funny,
and sexy as hell.
- [knocks on door]
- Oh.
Uh… Coming!
- Uh, hold on one second, okay?
- Wait. Somebody's here?
I don't know. It's the door.
[Paula] Okay.
[Trevor chuckles]
- Coming!
- [Paula chuckles]
No! No! Go away! Go!
[grunts]
Get-Get outta here! Fuck outta here!
Fuck out!
- Oh, my God.
- Get out! [grunting, shouting]
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Help! Help me! Call someone!
- Holy shit. Trevor?
Okay, okay, okay, okay!
Hey! Leave him!
Fuck. Leave him alone!
Leave him alone!
Leave him alone!
[stammers] Uh… I'm filming!
I'm filming! Stop it!
Leave him alone!
[Trevor] What do you want?
What do you want?
Oh, my God. Leave him alone!
[Trevor groaning]
I'm filming you, motherfucker!
[in Serbian] Ko si ti? [pants]
[Trevor groaning]
- Fuck! Paula!
- [Paula] Oh, my God.
[Trevor] Paula, call someone! Paula, help!
[Paula] Oh, my God.
Leave him alone! Stop it!
[in Serbian] Ko si ti?
- [Trevor cries] Please!
- [phone clicks]
[detective] And just to clarify, this was
all during an Internet sex thing, ma'am?
[Paula] Uh… What-What does
that have to do with anything?
[detective] Respectfully, I'm only asking
because I think it may be fake.
What do you mean it's fake?
[detective] Fake. Like, not real.
But I-I don't want
to diminish your experience.
Um… Let's play it out, say it happened.
Sure. Why not? For a goof.
Do you know where he lives?
[Paula] No.
[sighs]
[detective] Okay, so he could be
in Romania for all we know.
No, he's in America.
Uh… East Coast time because
we would make plans and just say, "1:00,"
not, like, "1:00 East Coast time."
[stammers] And Northeast
because we had the same weather.
I feel like he's local.
[detective] Okay, sure. [sighs]
Still, if he was assaulted, um…
we wouldn't know
where exactly to send police officers.
And, uh… another possibility is that,
as I said earlier,
this could be fake. A scam.
Scam. [sighs]
[detective] You said you had
your camera on. He could see you?
Yep.
[detective] Okay,
so he could have recorded you.
Are you married?
I'm divorced.
Me too.
Love isn't about
getting yelled at all weekend.
Assuming he did record you,
he could blackmail you.
No, he wouldn't do that.
[detective] Okay, um… ma'am, maybe…
maybe you didn't know him.
Maybe it was all an act.
I mean, you pay a fee,
you get some tenderness.
Just because he does this kind of work
doesn't mean he's a bad person.
[detective] Of course not.
But still, this isn't the first time
we've seen this kind of scam.
And if it's that, tonight, maybe tomorrow,
you're gonna get a call.
Does he have your number?
- Yeah.
- May wanna change that.
Anyway, he's gonna tell you a sob story,
like he's in debt to some bad dudes
or something like that,
and if he could get ten,
maybe 20 grand, he can be free.
- If he calls, hang up. Don't engage.
- [exhales deeply]
These people are very good.
They know how to pick their marks.
Well, either you're wrong
or I'm a fucking idiot.
No. No, you're a human being.
A lot of garbage out there
trying to make money off that.
Good people, they're like magnets.
[inhales sharply]
And sometimes,
they attract troublesome things.
- [sighs]
- [Trevor echoing] Paula! Paula, help!
Help! Help me! Call someone!
[hard rock music playing]
[phone ringing]
[gasps] Jesus.
Sorry.
[sighs]
- Hello. [clears throat]
- [lawyer] Hey, Paula, how are ya?
Yeah, uh… [stammers] You're my lawyer.
You… [stammers] You tell me.
[sighs] You've been better.
Looks like Karl's team now wants
to see Hazel's bedroom.
[Paula] Really?
No, it'll be fine. Nothing's gonna be easy
with these guys.
It all boils down to Karl wants to move.
You don't want him to.
Well, I'm seeing Hazel this afternoon
so I can get the whole story.
No, you won't. Avoid conflict.
Let me handle it.
Hazel's friends are here.
Her school's here.
What's going on with the promotion?
They haven't said anything official.
But it seems good.
Okay. Stable job, newly promoted.
Role model for Hazel.
I wish you were my mom.
- Uh… Anything else going on?
- [clicks tongue]
Nope.
Coming!
- Hey.
- Hi.
Hazel will be right down.
She's just watching Human Centipede.
Or is it Minions? Minions is the one
where they're sewn together, right?
Uh… I think that's Despicable Me.
[Karl laughs]
- Wanna come in?
- Mmm.
- It'll be just a minute.
- Okay.
You could stay out here if you want.
I don't care. It's up to you.
- [Paula] It's hot.
- Yeah.
She tell you she wants to try, uh…
ice hockey coed?
- I said, "No, that's not gonna happen."
- Oh, good, good.
[sighs] Practice is at 5:00 a.m.
- 5:00? Who does that?
- Yeah.
Oh, I don't know.
- Like, way better parents than us.
- [chuckles]
That's why art class is great
because we get to sleep in,
and she doesn't have
her teeth knocked out.
- Yeah, art is better than hockey.
- Hmm? That's right.
[Paula] Mmm.
[Karl] Hmm.
- A little early?
- Oh, we're celebrating.
Mallory just signed a new client.
- Oh, great!
- It's good news.
Yeah, but that's also really lovely of you
to comment on my behavior.
I'm not commenting.
There's no comment.
Hazel! Let's go, bud.
- [Hazel] In a minute, Mom!
- [Karl sighs]
[Karl] Fucking Christ.
[Paula] Karl.
Does it have to be Boise?
I'm not moving to Idaho.
- You might like it.
- Oh, yeah?
I'll grow the county's biggest potato
and I'll become mayor by accident.
- [chuckles]
- [Paula] Come on!
[chuckles] I'd vote for you.
I like a big potato.
You're making it ugly,
and it doesn't have to be.
Like, can you just think about it?
Please. For one second.
Let's not do this right now
like this, please.
Think about her, for one second.
[Karl] How's the house?
You know it's an apartment.
And it's fucking dreamy.
- Great.
- Yeah, it's…
Hey, look.
I'm not saying this to start a fight.
But I know how bad
you wanna see Hazel over the holiday.
It's just impossible
and it's not gonna work.
You can't do me one favor?
I can't do you this favor.
I'm gonna, uh… wait in the car
until her movie's done, okay?
- Okay, she'll be right down.
- Just send her out when she's done.
[Karl] You got it.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[music ends]
- Yeah!
- That was… [laughs]
- We did it!
- Whoo-hoo!
[Hazel] That one was really good.
Can I post it?
[Paula] I don't know.
Are you ready to be super famous?
I only have three followers, Mom.
You, Dad and Mal.
Okay, I've got takeout pizza. But I could
also make you a pasta with Bolognese.
Pizza.
"Pizza." Okay,
but I-I am getting way better.
- Mm-hmm.
- Promise you.
- Okay.
- Okay, less…
- No, wait. No.
- Less watching
- and more making pizza into energy.
- Wait, no. But wait… But I need to…
But, Mom…
[Paula] Do it now.
Mom?
- Yeah?
- Did you get that job thing?
Oh, I won't know for a bit.
But thank you for asking, dumpling.
- Yeah, I think you're gonna get it.
- Yeah?
- No, I know you're going to get it.
- [phone ringing]
- Oh, thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
[Paula] Oh, thank you so much.
Hello.
- [chuckles]
- [Trevor] Paula?
Paula, Paula, it's-it's me.
It's-it's Trevor.
[Trevor breathing shakily] Paula?
- Just a sec, Hazelnut.
- Okay.
[Trevor] I need help. 'Cause they-they…
they kidnapped me. [cries]
My mom gave me all the money and… [sobs]
and they said it wasn't… It's not enough.
- [sobbing]
- Not enough?
- No.
- Bummer.
[crying] And they're gonna kill me.
[sighs]
[whispering] Please, Paula. Paula.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please.
Please, Paula, help me. I'm so scared.
I'm so scared.
No, Paula. Paula,
please wire 15,000 or they're gonna…
they're gonna kill me.
[phone ringing]
[scoffs]
Trevor, just don't. Just stop. Okay?
[voice] Listen up. You need
to send $15,000 or he's dead.
You hear me? He is dead.
[Hazel] Mom!
Can I play ice hockey?
No!
[line ringing]
[on phone] Detective Gonzales.
Hi, it's Paula Sanders.
Um… He called asking for money.
- What do we do?
- We ignore him.
This is a nuisance, not a real crime.
- [Paula] Uh…
- Besides, we have nothing to go on.
[Paula] That's it?
Listen, I'm sorry this happened to you.
I have to run.
[sighs]
[phone ringing]
Mom!
Mom!
[Paula] Hazel, I'm in the shower!
Mom, somebody's calling you!
Hazel, don't answer it.
Don't answer it, honey!
Hello?
Hazel!
He said his name was Trevor
and he said he would call back.
Why did you answer?
I told you not to, right?
- Hey, baby.
- [crying]
[shushes] It's okay. I'm sorry.
It was my fault, my fault. [shushes]
He was really crying, Mom.
[Paula] Really?
Yeah, he's a big crybaby.
He's probably watching Bambi.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- [school bell rings]
- [Paula] Goodbye.
- Bye! Love ya.
- I love you.
Have so much fun and remember,
do not poop your pants.
Okay, no promises.
- I love you. Bye!
- Okay. I love you. Bye!
Paula. Paula!
So, I know you said no,
but the soccer team
still needs a second coach.
- Uh-huh.
- I'd do it, but I ran out of Xanax.
- Just kidding. I have so much Xanax…
- [chuckles]
…but I'm already organizing
the dance fundraiser,
and it is sapping my will to live.
Uh, uh, I… I never said no.
- Oh.
- No.
Karl said you weren't interested.
Well, I am interested.
- Wait, really? What?
- Yeah, I'm…
I'm so interested. I love…
Soccer is my thing.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Yay. Oh, thank God.
- Yeah, that's so fun.
- Thank God. Thanks for asking me.
- Yeah, yeah.
So, the other coach is a dad, Steve,
but don't worry, he's not a Steve.
- [chuckles]
- I'll grab the equipment for you.
I'll be right back!
[inhales sharply, grunts]
[blows raspberry]
[Rudy] Well, I heard everyone's downsizing
their fact-checking departments.
- Mmm.
- Thank you, AI.
- So, how's your LinkedIn?
- Tight as fuck.
- You?
- Oh, I don't have that shit.
I deleted mine.
Why?
I'm gonna stand out
by being harder to find.
You know, like, elusive kinda, exclusive.
Let me… Let me stop you there.
That is a… That's a terrible idea.
Is it though?
Think about it for a second.
Mmm. Still terrible.
- [phone ringing]
- [Rudy] Okay.
- Hmm.
- So, I just disagree.
We're fine. They'll never get rid of us.
Thank you.
[ominous music playing]
[Rudy] Some of us, not all of us.
Hello. Paula.
[Trevor, crying] Paula, it's… it's me.
How the fuck did you get this number?
How the fuck did you get
my fucking work number?
Please.
- Please, please.
- Stop, stop, stop.
- He's gonna… He's gonna kill me.
- Stop it, okay?
- He's…
- I know it's a scam, okay?
I know it.
After all the time we spent together,
after everything that I shared with you,
just admit it, Trevor.
If that's even your real name.
[Trevor scoffs] What does it matter?
Either way, you need to pay.
We know everything.
Your job, your ex's job,
cute little Hazel.
We can destroy your life.
I don't want that for you.
I like you, Paula. You know that.
Pay the money. Do it now.
[line disconnects]
[echoing] We can destroy your life.
[coworker sighs] This is a lot of bread.
This is an aggressive amount of bread.
I wonder if too much bread is as annoying
- to, like, starving kids in Appalachia.
- Really?
Because I don't want a loaf so big
it looks like
I have itty-bitty baby hands,
you're gonna food shame me?
Do you guys ever watch porn?
[coughs]
Did I hear… That was…
That's a big change of subject from Paula.
Like, on the Internet?
As opposed to in a movie theater.
I just read this really weird story
where they said that they can scam you.
Yeah, those sites have a lot of malware.
Um, porn is kind of gross.
Well, sex work isn't gross.
I mean, people need to make a living.
No, bro, I know,
but hashtag sex work is work.
We are all allies,
but, like,
the industry itself is pretty abusive.
I don't know.
I mean, my roommate has an OnlyFans.
- It's no big deal.
- Oh, your roommate now?
- Not your girlfriend?
- [Rudy] Oh, well,
we're just roommates again.
Right, because it's cooled off.
Vi only sleeps with you when it's hot out.
[distorted] 'Cause your room
has air conditioning.
She uses you for Freon.
[Rudy speaking indistinctly, distorted]
- Are you okay, Paula?
- Yeah, fine.
That's a lot of bread.
- Fuck.
- Rea…
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck. [sighs]
All right. Two can play your fucking game.
[upbeat music playing]
[grunting]
[Paula on laptop] Stop it!
What the fuck? What the…
[Trevor groaning]
[Paula on laptop] What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck? What the fuck?
[plane departing]
[Trevor groaning]
Please.
[in Serbian] Ko si ti?
[Paula] I'm filming you, motherfucker!
[Trevor grunting] Paula.
[sighs]
[alarm ringing]
[Tae Kwon do instructor] Tae Kwon do!
- One!
- [students] Tae Kwon do!
- Two!
- Tae Kwon do!
- Three!
- Tae Kwon do!
- Four!
- Tae Kwon do!
- Five!
- Tae Kwon do!
- Six!
- Tae Kwon do!
- Seven!
- Tae Kwon do!
- Eight!
- Tae Kwon do!
- Nine!
- Tae Kwon…
Mom? How come we never see the stars?
Sorry? What's that?
There's no stars.
You can see the moon,
but, like, that's it.
Oh, yeah, it's 'cause it's too bright.
So we have all these cars
and, uh, street lights and stuff.
Sometimes it just doesn't get
dark enough to see the stars.
- That really sucks.
- Hey.
Watch it with the S word.
That is not the S word.
- It's shit, right?
- [gasps]
- It is shit.
- [laughs]
You know,
I'm gonna take you camping one day.
You won't believe
how many stars you can see.
Yeah, you can see
so much more in the dark.
[in Serbian] Ko si ti?
[Trevor grunting]
[typing]
I think I found him.
- [sighs] Paula!
- No, no, no, no, no.
- You don't understand. It's really good.
- No, I do.
As we thought, it's a scam!
He recorded you. He has your info, okay?
He can "CSI enhance"
and use it against you.
Exactly. And that's what I did to him.
So he lives in Harding Park.
He's in one of three houses
across from Mr. Crabb on Craft Avenue.
It's right by the airport. See?
So now what do we do?
We continue to investigate.
We're already doing everything we can,
given the facts.
You're doing everything you can?
[stammering] You… I…
I just gave you exactly where he is.
Can't you go check out the houses?
Can't you do fucking anything?
I am trying to explain to you
how the system works.
I'm an officer of the law.
I am not your gal pal.
This is the real world!
I will continue to look into it.
But as I've told you, change your number.
Put one more barrier between you and him.
[phone ringing]
- We have three major stories…
- Sorry, can I…
…in the coming weeks,
so things are gonna be really int--
- Can I just take this? Sorry. Okay.
- Yeah. [clears throat]
- Hello.
- [Karl] Hey, how are ya?
Hey, I talked to, uh, Mallory,
and if you want, uh, Hazel
over the holidays, we're okay with it.
We can make that happen for you.
Oh, really?
Yeah, really.
I think you guys will have fun.
[sighs] Yeah, yeah, we will have fun.
That's great.
That's awesome. Thank you.
All right, I gotta go. I'm on the Peloton.
I'm about to puke all over Northern Italy.
- Hey. You know what I wanna do tonight?
- What?
I want to go buy a bunch of gifts
that we totally don't need
and then maybe have a bunch of, uh,
chocolate syrup just in a bowl
and you can eat it with a spoon
or a straw if you want to.
Maybe watch that movie
that you really want.
Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Homework?
- No.
- You said, "homework."
- No, I didn't!
- You want to do homework instead?
- No!
- Aw, man! Really?
- [growls, grunts] Mom.
[stammers]
I can't twist your arm, you know?
- How would…
- If you love homework so much,
then I guess that's what
we're gonna have to do tonight.
You don't want to have the best day ever?
- Yes, I do!
- You do?
- Yes, I do.
- Don't want to do homework?
- No! Boo!
- Boo.
Boo.
[children screaming]
- …back of the head and said that…
- [Paula gasps] No.
[Hazel] And… And, like,
some of it got in my ear…
- [Paula gasps]
- …and that's how I got the ear infection.
- And then…
- [Paula] Rafa!
- Otis put hot tamales on my ice cream…
- You…
…and I was really mad,
but I ate it anyway.
- You did?
- Yep.
Do you want some hot tamales on this?
- No. No.
- Why?
- 'Cause it was gross.
- Oh.
- He's like Ganon, but ten times bigger.
- Whoa, really?
Waska was showing me how to like…
like, uh, defeat him.
You're the best sleeper in the town.
Good night.
- Good night.
- Sleep tight.
[line ringing]
Yeah, I'm a T-Mobile customer
and I'm thinking about changing my number.
Yeah. Uh, no. Not yet,
but how would that work
with my contacts and stuff?
Anyone who wants
scrambled eggs, time to wake up!
[Hazel] I want Pop-Tarts!
- Hey!
- [Hazel] Hi, Daddy!
You're seven minutes late.
- Hey, how many seconds?
- Bye, Mommy!
- [Karl] You have fun?
- Bye, baby.
- You go on inside.
- Yep.
I'm gonna talk to Mom for a second.
I'll see you right in there, okay?
[Hazel] Okay!
[Karl] Okay!
What the fuck are you doing, Paula?
[Paula] What?
There's some guy named Trevor FaceTimed me
and he's desperate to talk to you.
Who the fuck is Trevor?
He looked about 20 and strung out.
Is that who you're fucking now?
You fucking Midnight Cowboy?
You know what he said to me?
He said that
I needed to get your attention
or he was a dead man.
What the fuck does that even mean?
Please, what does it mean?
And how the fuck
did he know about Portland?
Why would you tell him
about Portland, Paula?
Why would you tell fucking anyone?
Fucking answer me, please.
I'm lost here.
What is wrong with you?
You know what? Actually, I'm calling
my lawyers and I'm telling them this.
And I'll tell you, Paula, you can forget
about seeing Hazel over the holiday.
That's not gonna happen.
And if you are acting erratic again,
I don't think it's safe for you
to be around Hazel
- unsupervised.
- No, no.
I'm sorry, but it's fucking not.
I-I… I need it. I need that.
- I need to see her.
- I knew something
- was wrong with you…
- You can't do that.
- …but what the fuck is wrong with you?
- Karl, you can't do that.
- You can't do that.
- I can fucking do that.
- You can't do that to me.
- Yes, I can.
Tighten your fucking shit up.
[tense music playing]
[engine starts]
[horns honking]
[phone ringing]
- Enough already!
- [horns honking]
[honking continues]
[phone ringing]
Stop fucking calling me!
- [tires screech]
- [horn honking]
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Move your goddamn car! Come on!
[tense music intensifies]
[tires screeching]
[airplane departing]
[sighs]
[airplane departing]
[doorbell rings]
[banging on door]
[ominous music plays]
[door creaking]
[Paula] Hello?
["Bang! Bang!" playing on radio]
Hello?
Hello?
- [cat screeches]
- [gasps]
[softly] Jesus.
- Hello?
- [airplane departs]
[music continues playing on radio]
Hello?
[inhales sharply]
[breathing heavily]
[gasps]
[footsteps approaching]
[gasping]
- [breathing heavily]
- [music ends]
[footsteps approaching]
["Trapped In America" playing]