Mid-Century Modern (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
-[mellow music playing]
-[people chattering]
Strange feeling, isn't it?
Just you, me, and Jerry now.
Poor George.
It'll never be the four of us again.
The end of an era.
[Bunny grunting]
[Bunny grunting]
Stop trying to make yourself cry.
I want George's family to know I'm upset.
You don't look sad.
You just look like a reluctant bottom.
Forgive me.
I was taught not to cry
in front of other people.
It was a class I took
in junior high called PE.
-[mellow music continues]
-[quiet chatter continues]
Oh, good Lord.
Why, George? Why?
I know.
It's him, but it's not him.
-It's like his soul
-I loathe a three-button blazer!
And all three are buttoned.
How many times did I tell him?
Sometimes, always, never.
I'm thinking maybe this wasn't his doing.
Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
I'm with those two.
[sighs]
Jerry, late to our best friend's funeral?
We had an emergency landing in Tucson.
A service dog killed
an emotional support chicken.
Lotta anger.
Lotta feathers.
Oh oh, Georgie.
[whimpering]
Oh, God.
It's so upsetting seeing him like that.
It's the finality of it.
-It's heartbreaking.
-[sighs] Will we ever smile again?
Sweet Jesus, who's the body?
That's the UPS guy who found George.
Perhaps he'd like me to demonstrate
what Brown can do for him.
[lively music playing]
Welcome, boys.
I always forget how big this place is.
Yes.
It's not home, but it's much.
All this from selling bras.
As of next month, we'll have
a Bunny Hutch store in 31 states.
As long as there's women who wear bras
and husbands who wear them
when no one's home
I'll make a lovely dollar.
I feel like this is something
that would be in Elphaba's bathroom.
To me, this is the finest piece
in the entire house.
Oh my gosh.
Look at us.
Summer of '94,
first year at the Fire Island house.
[all]
Dis-Graceland.
I can't believe how young
we all looked.
-Don't say "we."
-Yes, don't.
You look the same age
no matter when a picture was taken.
You're like the mountains,
or Rob Lowe.
Boys, do you remember
when I first started
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Save it.
If we're gonna reminisce,
I need a soft cheese,
a kimono, and some pills.
Go, pick a bedroom.
Just not the one that smells
like Nivea and disapproval,
because that's my mother's.
♪♪
Jerry, were you still dating George
in this picture?
I think so.
I mean, he's not mounting me
the way just a friend would.
Yes, the weekend George
walked his Mormon child bride
into our house to mock us.
I wanted to hate you,
but you were too nice to hate.
I hated you for that.
You didn't hate me that much.
After George and I broke up,
you never let me leave.
Oh, look at us performing on the dock!
We may have been the first
all-male girl group.
-We were good.
-Oh, yeah.
["Whatta Man" by Salt-N-Pepa
ft. En Vogue starts playing]
Oh yeah, ooh! ♪
We're not doing this.
-I think we are.
-Oh, no, Jerry, I don't want to.
-I think you do.
-No!
-Come on, buddy.
-Please.
What a man, what a man,
what a man ♪
-What a mighty good man ♪
-Say it again now ♪
What a man, what a man,
what a man ♪
-What a mighty good man ♪
-Yeah, he's a mighty good man ♪
My man is smooth like Barry
and his voice got bass ♪
-A body ♪
-[music stops]
That's George's part.
[sighs]
There's no one to do George's part.
It's strange.
We made it through
the nightmare of the '80s.
I just figured we'd all live forever.
I still can't get over how sad it is
that George was found
by a UPS guy.
What's sad is his laptop
was open to a Google search,
"bubble butt inserts for pear-shaped men
over 60." [crying]
So specific.
-It was in the police report.
-[scoffs]
This is why people
want to defund the police.
I don't think it is, darling.
George had nobody
to erase his search history.
Oh, God.
Who's gonna erase our search history?
We all live alone.
-You live with your mother.
-Please, Sybil's 200 years old.
I'll be alone soon enough.
Although the woman could probably
make it another 20 years
just on cottage cheese and spite.
I liked cottage cheese as a kid,
then I stopped liking it.
But as I'm getting older,
I'm liking it again.
Thank God you're here to say
what no one else is thinking.
Wait. Just hear me out.
We're women of a certain age.
-We're alone. We're miserable.
-I'm not miserable.
Trust me, you're miserable.
You're too poor for New York.
You hate Atlanta.
-I like Atlanta.
-You hate it.
Why don't you know this?
-You'll both move in with me.
-And there it is.
Bunny Schneiderman's
veni, vidi, vici.
Do it fast, do it now, do it wrong.
Arthur, this one makes sense.
-We never see each other.
-We FaceTime every night.
I use a filter.
It's barely even me.
George's death is telling us something.
We need each other for comfort,
companionship,
and to erase our very,
very disgusting search histories.
Let's be together
while we still can, like a family.
It'd be a big change.
We live in one place
and all of a sudden,
we'd be living somewhere else.
I believe that's called moving, dear.
You don't need to answer right now.
Just sleep on it.
What if one of us falls in love?
Don't you think if that
was going to happen,
it would have happened already?
And it's not like
we're going to stop dating.
I mean, of course we'll date.
I have a date tonight.
Quelle surprise.
Do tell.
I met him on my dating app
for the discerning older gentlemen
and the younger men who love them,
Gay December Romance.
Show him to me at once.
Ooh-la-la.
Pretty, chiseled,
well-coiffed, good posture.
Do you have a picture of his face?
Say hola to Antonio.
Are there more like him around here?
Darling, it's Palm Springs.
This place is so gay,
even the trees are named Joshua.
[jaunty piano music plays]
♪♪
[singing] What a man, what a man,
what a man, what a mighty good man ♪
Yes, he is ♪
[blows sharply]
Ugh.
Ah.
-[doorbell rings]
-Mm.
[grunting]
-[spitting]
-[mints clinking]
-Hello, Antonio.
-Wow.
Oh, yes, it's not home,
but it's mucho.
[with thick accent]
I wasn't wowing your house.
Then, what were you "gwowing?"
"Jou."
This Jew?
Well, that's
Re [chuckles]
Oh, stop.
Please, come in.
[chuckles]
[spitting]
♪♪
Oh
Oh
[Antonio exhales sharply]
Oh!
I haven't been this sexually fulfilled
since I was at the bottom
of a dog pile at Camp Shalom.
Imagine how much better it would be
if you took your clothes off.
[chuckles]
Oh oh, hush puppy.
Not on a first date.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
you can chain me to the wall
like a starfish and wreck me
like a background actress
on Game of Thrones.
But it's gonna be a while
before I let you see my tummy.
But tell me more about you.
I wanna know everything.
Your hopes, your dreams, your last name.
My last name is Sandoval.
And, uh, what else can I tell you?
I'm a trainer at Equinox,
but that's not what I, um
I mean, things haven't
worked out the way I
I mean, I don't have what you have.
Hey, I don't have what you have.
-Like what?
-Foreskin, for starters.
No, I'm serious.
I mean, you're obviously
a very successful man,
and I always imagined that one day,
I would have a life
like this, too.
Why can't you?
Anything's possible.
It's never too late, Antonio Sandoval.
-You really believe that?
-I really believe that.
You have kind eyes.
You must have a partner, no?
Is he away or something, or?
No. It's just me.
I never really had
I mean, I always thought
I'd have a husband by now, but
I guess it just never happened.
Anything's possible.
It's never too late, Bunny
Schneiderman.
It's like Spider-Man,
but with a "shn."
♪♪
Arthur, let's move here.
Bunny's right.
I'm happiest when we're all together.
It's lonely in Atlanta,
even with another person in my bed.
And I'm twice as lonely when
there are two people in my bed.
Three times as lonely
when there are three people
I understand the math.
I'm not sure you do, because when
there are four people in my bed,
I go back to being twice as lonely.
How would you feel
about leaving New York?
I am sick of the winters,
and the other seasons,
and all the people.
And the way they keep going.
-So, yes?
-Yes.
I can be unhappy anywhere.
It might as well
be in a heated pool.
-Where are the yellow ones?
-Oh, pantry.
The only real negative I can think of
is the mother living here.
Now, don't say that.
Sybil's fantastic.
Sybil's okay.
She's a bit much.
The silver lining is
she'll be in assisted living
before you can say,
"Ding-dong, the witch is"
Here.
I heard everything you said, Arthur.
Perhaps you shouldn't be
eavesdropping.
I wasn't eavesdropping.
I was hiding Fig Newtons
from my son.
Then, I heard the two of you come in,
and I shifted to eavesdropping.
-Sybil, look
-Save it.
You're not a nice person.
But give me a hug anyway,
you're still family.
As are you.
Sort of a beloved, but racist aunt.
I never had a problem with you
because you're Black.
I had a problem with you
because you're a bitch.
I'll accept that.
Heard you got fired from Vogue.
I wasn't fired.
It was a mutual parting of the ways.
So, she thought
you were a bitch, too.
It'll be nice to have you here.
We can share clothes.
Jer-a-la, look at you.
-How are you?
-[kisses]
Oh my, you're still so handsome.
Hi, Sybil.
Did you get the Saint Raphael medallion
I sent you when you were sick?
Denise in premium economy told me
he's the patron saint of healing.
I did, dolly, and just for the record,
not the best gift
to give an old Jewish broad
with Polish roots whose family
was turned in by Catholics.
I'm sorry, Syb,
about the medallion,
and you know.
The Nazis.
I'm thrilled you're gonna move in here.
It's gonna be so good for the Bunny
to not be alone when I'm gone,
which won't be for a long while!
-I didn't mean anything.
-Oh yeah, you did.
And you're not sticking me
in an assisted living facility.
I've got too much to do.
I've got a daughter to marry off.
I thought Mindy was married.
Was.
I'm desperate to fix her up.
She's got kids,
she's not young, she's not
Well, I think she's beautiful,
but this is America.
-Bye-bye.
-Bye.
There's no way that woman
could have produced a straight son.
Anyone in the mood
for huevos rancheros?
[snapping]
Someone had a Latinx-rated night.
Please, don't cheapen it
with your tawdry puns.
But, si.
-You're on PrEP, right?
-Of course.
You know it's PrEP as in prep,
not PrEP as in Preparation H.
You only make that mistake once.
Or not at all.
Anyway, Arthur and I talked about it,
and we're gonna do it.
-Do what?
-Move to Palm Springs.
Even Arthur.
Tell him.
Just as you said last night
to your trick,
"Surprise, I'm all in."
He's not a trick.
His name is Antonio.
Well, excusez-moi.
Arthur can work from anywhere,
and the airline has no problem
-basing me here, so
-Boys, boys, boys.
When I said sleep on it, I meant more
like hibernate on it, you know?
Take your time. Months, even.
What's going on with you right now?
I'm only thinking of you two.
This is a big change, and I
Jerry, get our bags.
We're leaving.
Wh I don't understand.
What's going on?
This ridiculous queen
met someone last night
who fulfilled all his requirements.
He had a pulse
and didn't run away screaming.
Bunny, is that true?
And now he thinks they're in love
and they have a future.
Ergo, we're out.
-That's not exactly what ha
-[Arthur] We should have seen this coming.
You asked him to move in, didn't you?
Well, I I
He likes my stretch marks.
He called them battle scars.
I'll get the bags.
[scoffs] Jerry
Be happy for me, Arthur.
You've had a great love.
I haven't.
And I think he could be the one.
How could you not know that Antonio
walked into this Dinah Shore
extravaganza in the desert
and saw neon signs
flashing above your head?
"Sugar daddy. Sugar daddy."
Of course,
because I'm completely unlovable.
That's not my point.
I just know.
Right, you always "just know."
What's it like being an authority
on everyone and everything?
Exhausting!
You've always lived by the motto,
"Act, then think."
Insisting Jerry and I
uproot our lives and move here.
Spending a night with a hustler
and mistaking it for love.
You just can't stand the thought
of me falling in love at this age
because it only highlights
how unhappy you are.
You know what'll make me happy?
When Tricky Ricardo is done with you.
And I get to walk up to your door and say,
"I told you so, Queen."
You are so spiteful, Arthur.
Not spiteful. Baffled.
Despite success
in nearly every aspect of your life,
you still have a fundamental belief
that you're unworthy of real love.
And I'm not exactly sure why that is.
[Sybil] I'm going out.
Don't let the Bunny eat too much!
But I have theories.
[jaunty music plays]
♪♪
Good Lord, look at this place.
It's where kitsch and tragic
meet up for a three-way with filth.
You said find a gay-friendly motel
near the airport.
I thought you'd like it
'cause it's French.
-The Chauvette Inn.
-[water splashing]
It's "shove it in," isn't it?
♪♪
Of course, I feel bad
about disappointing them,
but I'm going to put
myself first for once.
Don't you think I deserve that?
This is the wonderful thing
about cottage cheese.
It says it expired last month,
but it tastes fine.
Why is torture your go-to?
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
It's very unattractive.
Your father and I, may he rest in peace,
did not raise a self-pitying yutz.
We raised a bold, confident man
who takes a bite outta life.
Then, why'd you name me Bunny?!
♪♪
And if Bunny has a chance
of finding love,
shouldn't we want that for him?
What kind of Donny Osmond,
Mormon Tabernacle crap
are you spewing, woman?
He betrayed us.
Why aren't you more incensed?
Well, I was raised to be
understanding and forgiving,
and to put others' needs
before my own,
and to love my neighbor,
unless they're gay like me.
Then, I'm supposed to throw rocks at them.
[chuckles]
♪♪
When you know, you know.
Doesn't matter if you've been with someone
10 years or one night, right?
You and Daddy were married 53 years.
When did you know he was the one?
When I buried him.
I looked around and there was none,
so I figured he must have been the one.
♪♪
Why are you so afraid to be angry?
Isn't there anything
that enrages you to your core?
Well, sometimes on
a transatlantic flight,
we'll run out of the short rib,
and I'll have to push the frittata.
And I know those are not real eggs.
Go deeper, darling.
I don't know,
maybe I'm nitpicking
but I didn't really like
that my wife outed me
in front of the entire congregation
and poisoned my relationship
with my daughter.
Yes, yes. There it is!
And how does that
make you feel, Jerry?
Like I'm giving someone a frittata
who wants a short rib!
♪♪
I don't know.
Could I live with my best friends?
I, I, I love Marsha and Judy,
but oh, the way Judy chews,
she could make a banana crunch.
Okay, are we done here?
Don't you have any advice for me?
Oh, sweetheart.
You are my son,
but we are very different people,
you and I.
You have to do what's right for you.
The best advice I can give you is
when in doubt, choose love.
Hm?
Come on.
Our rooms are ready.
Oh, do you think
there'll be a chocolate on our pillows?
That's what we'll tell ourselves.
Oh, mon dieu!
Jerry, don't be obvious,
but look over there at three o'clock.
Why do I have to wait till 3:00?
Can't I just look now?
It's Antonio. Bunny's Antonio,
walking into a room with a man
11% more attractive than Bunny.
-Are we sure that's him?
-It's him.
I recognize him from his photo.
How?
He's wearing pants.
♪♪
♪♪
I'm nervous.
Will you just go over it one more time?
It's very simple.
Bunny will invite us in
to explain himself,
at which point, we will say
"No, thank you.
We're very angry at you."
Wrong. We will say,
"Yes, of course," and follow him in.
He will offer us a light snack,
and we will say
"No, thank you.
We're very angry at you."
Wrong again.
-Just tell me when to say the thing.
-I'm getting to it.
Bunny will attempt to justify why
he's chosen a trick over lifelong friends.
That's when I will slowly
and deliciously inform him
of his lover's duplicity,
thereby reducing the Bunny
to a gay bouillon of shame.
And when I'm done, that will be your cue
to deliver le coup de grace,
the sweetest five words
one lifelong friend
can ever say to another.
"I told you so."
-"Queen."
-What?
-"Queen."
-[giggles] What?
It's, "I told you so, Queen."
You see how that's five words, not four?
"It's I told you so, Queen."
-That's six words.
-You don't count the "it's"!
"I told you so, Queen."
I've got it.
Okay, I got it.
[doorbell rings]
Wait.
What if he says he made a mistake,
and he still wants us to move in?
[scoffs]
It's really hard for you pretty people
to believe you're not wanted, isn't it?
"I told you so, Queen."
That's what you say to the bad man
at the end of the scene.
-Oh, good. You got my message.
-[Arthur] We didn't.
Jerry and I just came by
to say goodbye and good luck.
Please, come in.
I want to explain myself.
Yes, thank you.
We're not angry at you.
[jaunty music plays]
I've always had this notion
that of the four of us
well, now the three of us,
I've been the unluckiest in love.
Arthur, you had Lionel.
He was amazing.
Granted, there was
a 700-year age difference.
But you got to see Paris
for the first time
with someone you loved.
He cherished you.
He took care of you.
And after George, Jerry,
you had all those happy, crazy years
with you-know-who.
It never would have ended
if he didn't have to marry that woman
to get re-elected.
I hate the Senate.
The point is, I'm the one
who's never had a love story.
Then, I meet this
incredibly sweet young man
who made me think, could this be it?
Could I have finally found
the love of my life?
-Buckle up.
-And put your seat backs
in the upright position.
So, I thought long and hard about it.
And then, right before
you came here today,
it became obvious to me.
I have found the love of my life.
-Interesting, because
-It's you two.
This friendship
is my love story.
Yes, it's sexless and annoying.
But what long-lasting love story isn't?
I'm so sorry, boys.
I made a big mistake.
Of course, I still want you to move in.
Please, forgive me.
Now, Arthur,
what were you going to say?
Um
I don't really have anything to say.
I do.
I told you so, Queen.
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah ♪
["Whatta Man" by Salt-N-Pepa
ft. En Vogue playing]
Oh, yeah, ooh! ♪
What a man, what a man, what a man ♪
-What a mighty good man ♪
-Say it again, now ♪
What a man, what a man, what a man ♪
-What a mighty good man ♪
-Yeah, he's a mighty good man ♪
My man is smooth like Barry
and his voice got bass ♪
A body like Arnold
with a Denzel face ♪
-Oh yeah ♪
-Ow! ♪
What a man, what a man, what a man,
what a mighty good man ♪
[lively music playing]
[speaker]
Let me talk to the boys.
[fanfare playing]