Mint (2026) s01e01 Episode Script

This programme contains some scenes of a sexual
nature and contains some strong language.
I'm going to get married to a man
who treats me good and we're going
to live somewhere magic.
Bright colours everywhere,
everybody goes,
"Oh, my God, that is a great
house."
I might have kids, but I
might not,
because Gran says they ruin
your life.
Switch by Biig Piig
- I had a dream, I was learning
Then your love took it from me
I had a dream, I was learning
Then your love took it from me
I had a dream, I was learning
Then your love took it from me
Ask me what I think I believe, I
need to see you
Wait to let me answer
You seek what I don't and I keep
having to lead you- ♪
- I look fat!
- I'm sure you don't, darling.
- Well, you are looking quite big.
- Watch it.
I don't know.
It's a bit
My arse looks gigantic.
Everybody wants giant arses these
days. It's in.
Well, you're all right. You're flat
as a pancake.
You've both got lovely arses.
- What about my wrinkles?
- What wrinkles? - That's right!
- Who is it?
- "Who is it?" Hang on.
Dad?
- Just trying to use my X-ray vision there.
- Jesus Christ
No! You're going to have to get it.
Go on, off my bed.
Spencer.
- Shannon.
- You look nice.
- Your dad here?
- Dad, it's Spencer!
- Tell him to pick up your gran.
- Says pick up your gran.
- Can you tell him Sam's been trying him?
- Sam's been calling you.
- About what?
- About what?
- The Denson boy.
- The Denson boy?
Tell him to pick up your gran
and shut his mouth!
He says pick up my gran and shut
your mouth.
Bye!
- All good? - Aye. LiAngelo and the boys,
another robbery.
- We've seen boys like him come
and go, haven't we? - Aye, we have.
- And tonight should send a message.
- So, today - The rules, yeah, go on.
Powder has to be done
in the Portaloos,
and don't let Peter get into
anything with anyone again.
Well, he's promised best behaviour.
What do you call that?
Has your mum promised the same?
Well, there's lots of handsome
men to keep her distracted.
Can you try and help Shannon?
- With what? - You know what.
Stop scaring the boys away.
- She scares just as many away as I do!
- Hmm She's picky.
Here. Promise me
She wants her own love story.
What's wrong with that?
I just want her to make good
choices.
- Aye, she will, if we give her
a wee bit of space. - Aye.
Have you seen the choices
she made in the past?
I like the kid she fell in love with
at soft play.
He stuck his finger up her nose
Did that justify the boys
dragging him away? Hmm
- She cried for days.
- I gave the moppy-haired kid a chance.
Shannon said you stared at him
all night.
- She was too young to go alone.
- She was 16 and she really liked him.
I'm really trying. I've introduced
her to some nice boys.
One - one boy, and you wanted him to
date her
to climb the ranks with you.
Your dad's promised best
behaviour today.
No flirting with the men
though, please.
They're all disgusting, Dad.
Your mum's probably slept
with most of them.
You don't want to share an ex
with your gran.
That ship has probably
already sailed.
She gasped when
she saw the size of it.
With my forearms bulging,
I pushed her legs apart and shoved
my loaded
inside the wet folds
Don't Push It Don't Force It
by Leon Haywood
Yeah, go and get yourself a drink
He's handsome, our Dylan.
Got that from me.
Mh-hm. Then he passed it on to me.
Have you noticed that Eddie
always smells like like damp?
You know, I haven't had a ginger
nut in quite a while
Hmph! I think you need to go on a
nut-free diet, Nan.
It's where I get all my protein!
I thought you would have got
disinvited after last year!
Never got into his pants.
Wouldn't want too!
I heard he got demoted, too.
- Pedo Pete.
- Oh, never proven.
Doesn't do himself any
favours, does he?
- Hot young piece of meat
- He's a bit of a wet blanket.
Christ! That arse
You know, this is the first time
he's been invited to anything.
Yeah, you can tell.
Sam You know, I never got why
Dad liked him.
He's a dull foot soldier, that one.
Great in a pair of shorts, though.
So, who have you got your eye on
tonight?
I thought you were usually a one
and done, Nan.
Didn't quite get it done.
You? Who's caught your eye?
No-one here. Dad would find a way to
ruin it, anyway.
Good, you're too young.
Don't you get caught up in a fantasy
like your mother.
Shannon! Come here.
A good service is all us women need.
We don't need men for anything else.
- Perfect timing.
- Oh, aye?
Aye, I just want to introduce you to
a couple of people.
Jasper, this is my daughter.
Shannon. Colin.
Jasper is in his second year at
university.
He's studying to be an engineer.
That's nice.
And Colin owns quite a few local
businesses. He's a good man.
Although I've heard rumours he's
been getting
a little bit more involved with
that Denson lad. LiAngelo.
- Is that right?
- Seen at their garage, apparently.
No, I haven't.
Shannon, your brother's getting in
soon.
- Why don't you go pick him up?
- Yeah
- What were you doing at their garage?
- I I wasn't I, er
Come on! Don't act daft now.
The Denson lot are trying to take
over
and you're meant to be my friend.
It's us or them.
You know that.
Go and enjoy the party. We'll talk
again later.
- Arran.
- Shannon.
- I feel under dressed.
- Hey
- Well, this train station has high standards.
- Yeah, I see that.
- I just haven't been here for a while.
- Where've you been?
You mean you can't hear the accent?
So do you think maybe I can
get your number
or does this station
have rules about that?
No. I mean, beyond the dress code
it's pretty loose.
OK.
Shan!
Shan.
Is that your boyfriend?
Mm-mm. Brother.
Was nice meeting you
Shannon.
- Who was that?
- Don't know.
Do you want to consider
finding a career
instead of another crush
to break your heart?
Like going to university
to work on strategies
to make offshore drilling
more efficient?
You're such a hero.
Aww, I've missed you.
Stop it. You'll mess my hair up.
How big's this do then?
Big.
- Ah, tame, you think?
- Ah, for now.
Well, I'm shattered
and I've got an exam tomorrow.
I I just want a lowkey night.
Right, well, then,
you should've stayed at home.
Oh, you think Mum would have
allowed that? Never.
Do you think Dad might ask me
about work?
In the future?
Nah.
He wants you away from this world,
not in it.
Did you do your make-up, by the way?
You look a bit like a raccoon.
Shut up!
- Get yourself a drink.
- Mum!
I met a boy.
What? Here?
No. It was when I went to get Luke.
I saw him in town.
Anyway
I felt the spark.
What?
Someone's broken something in there.
Oh, OK. Thanks, darling.
Right, let me sort this and then
I want to hear all about it, OK?
Hey.
- University boy's back in town.
- Happy birthday, Dad.
Wasn't sure you'd make it.
I wasn't sure either.
Big exam tomorrow.
You ready for it?
Yeah. Yeah, course.
- Who don't you know?
- Um - Spencer's new.
Spencer.
Luke.
Brains of the family.
Oh Only a bit.
You didn't make the first move,
did you?
Good to let them
make the first move.
Men like to take charge.
What if I don't see him again?
Hmm You will.
It's a small town.
The way he acted, it was
it was different.
He was he was gentle.
You're smitten.
I am.
I know that feeling.
Tell me again how you met Dad.
Then back to the party?
Then back to the party.
Well, we were young.
Really young.
Your grandad was having a party,
and my family knew him well,
so I was dragged along
kicking and screaming.
As soon as I got there, I just
felt this pull towards him.
He was
beautiful.
I mean
he still is. But I just
couldn't keep my eyes off him.
He played it more casual
till later in the night.
Wee glances,
he didn't think I noticed.
Then his dad introduced us,
and made a joke that we'd probably
end up marrying each other one day.
And then
we were dancing.
Danced all night.
Best friends from that day.
What did you get Dad?
Massage.
For the stress.
You think Mum's going to let
another woman touch Dad?
For relaxation purposes.
Worried he's going to have a
heart attack one of these days.
Thanks for coming. All of yous.
Right, before we get started,
Cat just wanted me to
remind everyone about the powder.
In the Portaloos only, please. Yeah?
We were cleaning up after you
for weeks last time.
Listen, it's been a good year.
So let's raise a glass
to another strong one.
To my Cat
for keeping us
all fed and in line. To Cat.
To Cat.
Right, enough of that.
Party games!
We're going to head off now, Dyl.
Stick around for the games, pal.
This way, boys.
Right.
I'm thinking
we start with
you.
- Oh, Boss, I'm not much of a
- You'll be fine, pal.
Let's find you an opponent.
Er
you.
Party games!
Father and son.
People would pay hundreds
to watch this.
Come on.
Come on!
I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase
I'm going through
And just because
I call you up
Don't get me wrong
Don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love
No, no
It's because. ♪
Shannon.
Look, I I'm heading.
Why?
Call me if you need me, yeah?
Luke.
Where are you going?
I don't want to ruin the night, Ma.
I'll see you for dinner
in a few weeks.
But why are you leaving?
You've not had anything to eat,
or
Or watched Dad set enough men
on each other?
- It's just party games.
- Party games, Mum? Come on!
Colin's been speaking
to the Densons.
Your dad's just trying to
keep us safe.
I'll chat to you in the week, OK?
Do you want a lift to the station?
Eddie or
I'll walk.
- Let me get you some cake.
- Mum, I - Just wait a sec
There you go.
See you later.
Where's Luke?
Oh, had to head home,
revise for his exam.
Every time you get too close
I run, I run away
And every time you say the words
I don't know what to say
Back, back to the beginnin'
Really wish that I could change
I do, I do
Every time you get too close
I run, I run away
And every time you say the words
I don't know what to say
Back, back to the beginnin'
Really wish that I could change
I do, I do, I do
I blame it on your love
Every time I fuck it up
I blame it on your
Love, I do
I blame it on your love
I can't help it, I can't stop
I blame it on your
Love, I do
I blame it on your love
Every time I fuck it up
I blame it on your
Love, I do
I blame it on your love
I can't help it, I can't stop
I blame it on your
Love, I
- Armed police!
- Police!
- Stay where you are!
- Hands on your head. - Armed police!
Are yous here to sing me
happy birthday?
- Police!
- Show us your hands!
I've got the one with the lazy eye.
Hands where I can see them!
Were you in your REM sleep?
- I was.
- Mm.
You're going to be knackered
all day then.
I know.
You've not been doing your skincare.
There's 12 steps to it.
12 steps to greatness!
Hi.
It's who?
Oh, yeah. Train station boy. Hi.
Um at home.
Don't eat breakfast.
Uh yeah, I could spare an hour.
OK. Yeah.
See you there.
- Was it him?
- Mm-hm.
He wants to meet in an hour.
Yes!
- OK, tell me. - OK.
- OK.
- You still smell good.
- Mm-hm.
- Put your hair up, show off your jawline.
- Yeah.
Give your face a wee
splash of water.
Go, go, go. I'll get the car.
You, uh you're not supposed
to be here.
Why not?
It's officers only.
They recruiting kids now?
They are, you cheeky git.
What, are you, um
considering a career change
or something?
Aye, there's loads of
transferrable skills, no?
- Are you nervous?
- No.
I'm excited!
Don't be too keen.
You're a busy girl. Lots of options.
Does my breath smell
if he tries to kisses me?
No, it's good.
There he is.
Get in the car.
Get in the fucking car!
That's Arran Denson.
He's LiAngelo's brother.
Those boys have been causing
your dad so much trouble.
Not him, Shannon. Anyone but him!
Don't mention this.
- Do you understand?
- Mm-hm.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
What's gone and been
and happened here?
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
What's gone and been
and happened here?
Started with a bang
Ended with a kiss
The middle's all a muddle
Got lost in the abyss
Started with a bang, bang
Ended with a kiss
The middle's all a muddle
Got lost in the abyss
I know, you know, we know
What's gonna happen
Straight through the night
Back on the wagon
Fires in your eyes
but it's not gonna happen
I could feel it all end
By the end of the cigarette packet
I could feel it all end
by the end of the cigarette
Feel it all end by the end
of the cigarette packet
I could feel it all end
by the end of the
I know, you know, we know
What's gonna happen
Straight through the night
Back on the wagon
Fires in your eyes
but it's never gonna happen
I could feel it all end
By the end of the cigarette packet
Feel it all end by the end
- Ci-ci-ci-cigarette packet
- Feel it all end by the end
Cigarette packet. ♪