Miss Marple: At Bertram's Hotel (1987) s01e01 Episode Script

Turn this way.
Lady Sedgwick, could you just
mention where you've been?
Can you tell me
about your relationship with
Excuse me, may I have
your autograph please?
Of course.
Thank you, Lady Sedgwick.
I told you it was.
- You did.
"Break a leg."
Mine's a return.
- Return. Yes, thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Bertram's Hotel, please.
Dear.
Good afternoon, Madam.
Mind the step now.
- Thank you.
We don't want any accidents.
Good. After you, Madam.
Someone will get your luggage.
Miss Gorringe will see to you.
Thank you. Just a moment.
No, Madam. That's all right.
Enjoy your stay now.
I shall. Thank you very much.
Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
My name is Marple
and I think my nephew
Of course. Welcome to Bertram's,
Miss Marple.
Or rather welcome back.
I gather from your nephew
you've stayed here before.
Only when I was a little girl.
I don't think you'll find it
much changed.
No indeed.
It's quite remarkable, isn't it?
Put you in room 57.
It's nice and quiet.
If you'll just sign, sign there.
Yes.
Thank you.
Hello.
So you'd like tea served
in your room?
Certainly, Madam.
I'll send someone up.
James! Thank you. Will you take
Miss Marple up to room 57?
Thank you.
I hope you'll be comfortable.
- I do believe that's old Jane Marple.
She looks a hundred.
Good afternoon.
Just going out.
- Thank you, Colonel Luscombe.
Good afternoon, Colonel.
- Hello, Humfries.
How'd you get on
at Newbury yesterday?
Don't ask.
That filly of Harry Waddell's
was hopeless.
What about Swanhilda?
- Tailed off. Obviously not fit yet.
Disastrous day.
Well, I can't hang about. I've got
to meet my ward at the airport.
From Italy. Been finished.
Whatever that may mean.
Just hope I recognize her.
Bess Sedgwick's just arrived.
- Has she?
Canon Pennyfather?
- Upon my soul.
If it isn't my dear old friend
Jane Marple.
What a pleasant surprise.
Well, let's see now.
When did we last meet?
Didn't you come down
to Chadminster for tea last summer?
Well, I did but I
Yes. I remember now.
I double-booked you with the Bishop.
It didn't matter.
I'm afraid my memory's
not what it was.
Mine's just as bad.
Never. I'm sure yours
is as razor-sharp as ever.
That's very kind of you,
but if you'll excuse me
We must have a good pow-wow
sometime.
I'm going to Lucerne on Wednesday,
a congress on biblical history.
I shall be back the following day.
Or rather night.
And I shall be around tomorrow,
off and on.
Well, I shall hope to
see you then.
Goodbye for the present.
Goodbye. Thank you.
Uncle Derek?
Elvira! My dear.
Well, well, this is nice.
Did you have a good journey?
- Yes, thank you.
And how was Italy?
- Fine.
That your lot over there?
Yes.
I'll just go and tell Miss Carpenter
you're here.
Yes.
Until tomorrow.
Real muffins.
Never would have thought it.
Do you know, when I was living
in America last year
they had what they called muffins
on the breakfast menu.
But they weren't muffins at all.
They were just tea cakes
with raisins in them.
The Americans
have a lot to answer for.
And are you still living
at dear St. Mary Mead?
Yes.
Good God.
Cicely Longhurst.
She's dyed her hair again.
Such a sweet simple village.
I suppose it hasn't changed at all.
Well no, no, not quite.
We have the new council estate.
And of course, the shops
aren't quite what they were.
But one has to accept change.
Progress, they call it.
Though I often think
it isn't progress at all. I mean,
take these smart plumbing fixtures
they have nowadays.
Every shade of color,
but do they really pull?
Or push come to that?
Quite.
Bess Sedgwick!
Of all places.
I do hope you won't
find Bertram's too stuffy.
'Tis rather old-fashioned.
Lot of old fogies.
Still, it is only for the one night.
Only one night? Am I going
to Cousin Mildred's tomorrow?
Yes. In the afternoon.
She's a good sort.
I hope you'll be happy with them.
I'm sure it'll suit me fine.
- Jolly good.
For the time being.
Scrumptious!
Now that's what I call a real
doughnut.
Madam.-
Extraordinary girl.
I've known her since she was a child.
No one could handle her then.
She ran off with one of the grooms
when she was only 16.
Really?
No, they managed to buy him off and
marry her safely off to old Coniston.
Awful old rip but dotty about her.
That didn't last.
Then she married
an American yacht owner.
Divorced within a year.
Then she upped and offed
with Johnny Sedgwick.
I suppose that might've stuck,
if he hadn't broken
his neck steeple-chasing.
Yes, yes.
And since then?
One loses count.
Thank you.
I don't think she's ever
married again.
But there's always somebody.
She's the sort of woman
who needs a man.
Do you think so?!
I would have said that men were more
of an adventure to her than a need.
And what brings you up to town,
Selina?
I went to see some man
in Harley Street about my arthritis.
And what did he do?
Well he took me by the neck
and wrung it like a chicken.
Good gracious.
Extraordinary.
I could look over my right shoulder
for the first time in years.
There's old Dicky Ludgrove.
You know, Justice Ludgrove.
Good afternoon, me lord.
You heard what happened to him
last time he was here?
No.
- My dear, he nearly got arrested.
You remember that big bank robbery
some while ago?
Which one?
There have been so many lately.
The London and Metropolitan one.
You mean
the Carmolly Street branch.
Yes, well apparently,
some probation officer
saw old Dicky near
the scene of the crime.
And behaving suspiciously.
Except of course it wasn't him.
He was staying here at Bertram's,
and was in court all morning.
But imagine if he hadn't
had an alibi.
A man in his position!
And did they find the other man,
his double?
No. I don't think so.
How interesting.
Well, the police seem incapable
of solving anything these days.
Anything further I can get you,
milady?
We're serving very good
seed-cake today.
Seed-cake? Lovely, Henry.
I haven't had seed-cake
since God knows when.
How about you, Jane?
Is it real seed-cake?
Yes, Madam. The cook has had
the recipe for years.
Please.
Do you still see my mother?
Occasionally.
Where is she now?
- Abroad.
Whereabouts?
I'm not entirely sure.
Do you think she'll ever
agree to see me?
I really couldn't say, Elvira.
In other words, no.
Selina! Haven't seen you since
Crufts. How are the Borzois?
Fine. What on earth
are you doing here, Bess?
Recovering. I've just been on Safari.
But why here?
Someone told me
about their gorgeous doughnuts.
I thought it'd be
quite amusing to
Hello, darling. This is my ward.
Welcome. Hello.
Excuse me.
I've just remembered something.
Extraordinary.
And just as I was about
to introduce you to her.
I expect you'd like
to go to your room first.
And then a cup of tea,
or a drink perhaps.
A drink would be lovely.
Selina, do you know who that is?
- Where?
That man just leaving.
No one in particular.
Surprising.
Everyone else seems very
much someone in particular.
Well
I suppose we ought to be thinking
about your future, Elvira.
- Yes.
I'm told a secretarial course
is the thing.
Yes, finishing school,
secretarial course, marriage.
Quite.
I'm afraid we don't know each other
as well as we ought.
My fault. Perhaps if I'd had
daughters of my own
But I hope if there's anything
you want to ask
There is actually. Have I any money?
Yes. Some.
That is you will have when you're 21.
How much?
- Quite a bit.
And you're the trustee.
Yes, along with Richard Egerton
naturally, the family solicitor.
What happens if I die?
Well, Elvira,
what sort of question is that?
Well, only last week that airliner
crashed and everyone was killed.
Good heavens,
that was just a flash in the
If I did die,
who would inherit my money?
I haven't the least idea.
Would it be worth
anyone's while to kill me?
Really, Elvira, this is a most
unhealthy conversation.
Who would get my money
if I was married?
Well, your husband I suppose but
Are you sure?
No. Not altogether.
It would depend
on the wording of the trust.
But since you're not married,
I shouldn't bother
your pretty head with such a thought.
Now, you were asking
about your allowance.
I believe you wanted an advance.
Yes. It's just that my friend Bridget
and I thought we'd go
and have a look around
the shops tomorrow morning.
Fine. Splendid.
I'm sure that can be arranged.
Is Lady Sedgwick staying here?
Are you with the press?
- No.
Rest assured the name of Bertram's
Hotel will remain unsullied.
She is here then?
Yes, as it happens.
Did you want me to?
No, no, no, no, no.
I only wish to leave a note.
Was just checking
it was the right hotel.
I may have left it in
the writing room,
but I'm not quite sure.
We'll go and look for it, my lady.
- Thank you, Henry.
You're always so helpful.
My God, where do they dig
them up from?
I'll see that Lady Sedgwick
gets your note.
And now if there's nothing else
You wouldn't be trying
to get rid of me, would you?
What is the telephone
number here? 1129 isn't it?
No. 3925.
That's Regent?
- No. Mayfair.
Odd.
I could've sworn
it was Regent 1129. Arrivederci.
Hardly the Bertram's sort.
Chap looked vaguely familiar.
I know.
Isn't he that racing driver Johnny
smashed himself up
a couple of years ago?
Fellow with the unpronounceable name.
Ladislaus Malinowski.
If you'll excuse me I'll go up now.
I'll see you at dinner?
Yes, of course, my dear.
I had thought of getting tickets
for a show
but I thought you'd be tired
after your journey.
I'd rather watch television.
I'm dying to see ITV.
I hear it's ghastly.
For you, Colonel.
- Thank you, Henry.
There is a television room here,
is there?
Yes, sir. The Americans like it.
But it's tucked well away.
Hello. This is room 43.
Could you get me Regent 1129?
Hello, Ladislaus, it's me.
Yes! You were wonderful.
When can we meet?
No, sooner than that. Please.
I'm dying to see you.
Derek, at last.
You got my note then?
I'd no idea you were here,
Bess, or I'd never have brought her.
Where is she now?
- Watching television.
How long are you here for?
- Only overnight.
I'm taking her to Mildred's
tomorrow afternoon.
Thank God for that.
I'd really no idea, Bess.
I'd hate you to think that
You were trying to stage
a sentimental reunion?
I wouldn't put it past you.
I should hope if I was,
I'd come straight out with it.
Not that it wouldn't be a good idea.
- No, Derek!
Hang it, Bess, you are her mother.
She's done very well
without me all these years.
I think she feels it though.
Do you think I don't?
Think it was easy giving her up?
Thanks for the photographs.
She looks just as I hoped she would.
What harm could there
be in your meeting now?
Same there always was.
She needs protecting.
From what?
- From me, you idiot!
I know you were always
a bit headstrong.
For God's sake! I'm not safe
to be with. I never have been.
Yes, but now
that you're getting on a bit.
Not that you look a day older,
of course,
but you'll want to settle down
Settle down to what?
Knitting by the hearth? No thank you!
When I go, I shall go
with a bloody great bang!
It's okay. Coast is clear.
Next month Alan Brewster
and his team
will be attempting to climb
Le Diable, Devil Mountain,
by the south face.
There has only been one successful
attempt in the past.
That was in 1938, when Sir David
Squire led a team up the north face.
The team included one woman.
The young Bess Sedgwick.
What a coincidence.
She's staying here you know.
Here? At Bertram's?
Yes.
Are you sure?
We saw her at tea, didn't we, Jane?
Yes. Yes, indeed.
Extraordinary creature.
I knew her as a girl.
Quite a handful.
Race horses, power boats,
motor rallies.
Everything a woman
isn't supposed to do.
Good luck to her I say!
Devil Mountain is the one of the
most treacherous peaks in the Alps.
More than a dozen climbers
have lost their lives attempting it.
Yes, the heating has been adjusted.
- About time too.
Good night, Sir Humphrey.
- Good night.
Could I have my key please?
- Just one minute, Miss Blake.
It is for room 43?
- Yes.
How silly of me.
It was in my bag all the time.
Good night.
Hello, Uncle Derek.
I was just looking for you.
Fed up with watching television?
- I thought I'd go up now.
Good. Fine.
Well, I'll say good night then.
Good night.
And thank you for everything.
- Good night, my dear.
Sleep well.
Come in.
Come in.
Hello.
I'm Elvira.
So he couldn't resist it.
Uncle Derek didn't tell me.
I found out myself.
What do you want?
To meet you.
So now you've met me.
Is that all you can say?
- What else is there to say?
It's no use pretending
we're anything but strangers.
You were two years old
the last time I clapped eyes on you.
Why didn't you take me with you
when you left?
Didn't want to be lumbered
with a baby.
Knew your father
would see you were taken care of.
And when he died?
You haven't gone
without anything have you?
Not materially.
I couldn't give you anything else.
I'm not the maternal type.
I'm sorry, but there it is.
Couldn't we just meet each other
from time to time?
There'd be no point.
All these years
I've put you on a pedestal.
I saw you as a bold, romantic person
who loved me deep down.
Well, now you know different.
Yes.
Elvira!
You're much better off
without me, honestly.
Come in.
Good morning, Madam.
- Good morning.
I trust you slept well.
- Very well. Yes indeed.
As well as one can at my age.
It's a very comfortable bed.
Yes, that's what all our guests say.
- Yes.
Thank you.
Now, is everything
to your liking, Madam?
It looks delicious.
All piping hot.
The eggs properly poached.
Really it seems too good to be true.
Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
This table, right here.
Not hungry?
- Not awfully.
Well, you'll have to make up
for it at lunchtime.
I'll drop you off, you and your
friend can do your shopping and then
we'll meet up at Pruniers, before
we go down to Cousin Mildred's.
Fine.
Nothing the matter is there?
I saw her last night.
- Who?
You know.
Did you,
make yourself known to her?
Yes.
But it was no good.
Good morning.
I'll see you down here
in about half an hour then.
Good afternoon, Miss Marple.
I mean good morning.
Off shopping?
I shall be presently.
I'm bound for the Athenaeum myself.
No, that's tomorrow.
Well, where am I going today?
Yes, I know, the British Museum.
That's it. I think.
Dear!
What! I I nearly forgot.
Thank you, Canon.
Have a pleasant day.
Thank you.
Good morning, Reverend.
Here we are.
DOOR God bless.
Mind yourself now.
Good morning.
- Good morning.
My God! Mickey Gorman!
It can't be.
I recognized you
when you arrived yesterday.
It's more than I did you.
People seldom notice the man
behind the uniform.
Well, well, little Bessie.
Don't use that revolting name.
You didn't think it
so revolting then.
What have you been up to
all these years?
This and that.
- I bet!
I know all about your doings.
Aren't my fish and chips
wrapped in them more often than not?
It's been a long time.
It certainly has.
A lovely slip of a girl you were.
I've worn a damn sight better
than you.
Still hitting the bottle I suppose?
It's easy to wear well
when you're in the money.
Money wouldn't have done you
any good.
You'd have gone to the dogs
completely.
How on earth did you
get taken on at this place?
'Twas the medals clinched it.
I'm sure.
Genuine too, in case
you're wondering.
I wasn't.
You never lacked courage.
The Army must've suited you.
Army's all right in war time,
but no good in peace.
I've thought of writing to you.
- What for?
I've not forgotten Ballygowlan.
What's that supposed to mean?
Just reminding you.
If you mean what I think you do,
then listen, chum.
You start raking all that up and
I'll shoot you for the rat you are.
Ooh.
I do believe you would too.
I would.
Where's Mr. Humfries?
In his office, Lady Sedgwick.
Shall I
I want a word with you.
- Please sit
Who engaged that man
Michael Gorman?
I did. Parfitt left.
He was in a car accident.
We had to replace him quickly.
Gorman seemed all right.
Ex-Army. Good references.
Medals.
- Meddles in more ways than one.
If you insist we'll give him notice.
- Forget it. Bit late for that.
What exactly?
- I said forget it! The harm's done.
Good God, look at the time.
I'm supposed to be in Kensington.
Taxi, Madam?
Well, no. As a matter of fact,
I think I'm going by bus.
No, Madam. You don't want
to go on buses at your time of life.
All that jolting and jerking
could do you a damage.
I'll whistle up a taxi and
you shall travel like a queen.
But I Very well.
Where to, Madam?
The Army and Navy Stores, please.
Derry and Toms, and quick.
There's the aristocracy for you.
Here we are, Madam.
- Thank you.
Mind the step now.
Army and Navy Stores.
- You got it.
On second thoughts, driver,
I'd like to go to Derry and Toms,
please. Thank you.
Ever thought of shinning down
from the roof gardens?
All the time!
Perhaps we should try it sometime.
- Aren't we living dangerously enough?
Why were you so late?
Something came up at Bertram's.
Which reminds me, what the hell
were you doing there yesterday?
- Checking you'd arrived.
- Bloody fool.
You know damn well you're
not supposed to be seen there.
Why not?
Everyone knows we're friends.
You had another reason.-
What a nasty,
suspicious mind you have.
I know you, Lousy.
Probably some wretched woman.
Now why should you think that?
With you, there's always a woman.
I'd know better than to do it
on the hallowed steps of Bertram's.
Would you? I wonder.
Might give you a kick.
How well you know me, Bess.
Steer clear in future
Okay, okay.
I've got the message.
And now can we talk about tomorrow?
So, everything's set?
Yes.
You've checked
the weather forecast?
Of course
But how on earth
will you manage, Elvira?
It'll be utterly drears for you.
Stuck down there.
We managed in Italy didn't we?
Cousin Mildew'll be a cinch
after old Macaroni.
I'll pretend to come up
to London
for classes and things,
the Tate and all that jazz.
Can I help you, Madam?
- We're just looking. Thanks.
Now, about tomorrow
Yes.
I've got to get away for 24 hours
without anyone noticing.
You mean with him?
No such luck.
Where then?
I can't tell you,
but I've simply got to.
There's something I have to find out.
I need your help, Biddy.
What sort of help?
I've got it all worked out.
When I get there I'll tell
Cousin Mildew
I've a dental appointment
in town tomorrow,
and I have to leave first thing.
Then 'round about 11 o'clock you ring
her up pretending to be your mother.
Lord.
Well, you can do your
Lady Bracknell.
Tell Cousin Mildew
I'll be spending the night with you,
as the dentist wants to see me again.
Please, Biddy.
Is it really desperaggers?
Yes it is.
It's a matter of life and death.
Will you show Monsieur and Madame
Cartier to table number two?
French.
I heard them at tea time
asking for "le four o'clock."
Really?
There's Mrs. Dalrymple
up from Somerset.
How on earth can she afford
to stay here?
Isn't that Admiral Ponsonby?
No. No, it isn't.
You know, or a moment
I could have sworn it was.
Well, they say that everyone
has a doppelganger.
Extraordinary.
Tell me, Selina. Did Bess Sedgwick
have any children by Lord Coniston?
Now that you mention it,
there was a baby.
He had custody.
A daughter?
- Yes.
She must be quite grown up by now.
Well, that explains it.
Explains what?
Almost everything.
Goodbye, Ma.
See you later.
Good morning, may I speak
to Mrs. Melford, Please?
Hello. This is Monica Sotheby.
My daughter, Bridget,
is a friend of Elvira's.
Yes, they are. Very good friends.
Actually, I'm phoning
on Elvira's behalf.
Would it be all right
if she spent the night with us?
There.
- My dear.
Well, after a long search.
You know, it's almost impossible now
to find ones that aren't covered
in baby lambs or radishes
or Nelson on his column.
And I also treated myself
to a handkerchief sachet.
How pretty.
My old one had fallen to bits.
I'd had it ever since I was a girl,
you know.
The things I used to hide
in my handkerchief sachet.
Photographs, love letters, diaries.
Yes. I once kept
a Valentine card in mine.
For years.
Given to me by a young man called,
Lionel Mattingley.
Romance, Jane? What happened?
Nothing.
Mother nipped it in the bud.
You mean you never saw him again?
Indeed, yes,
I came across him years later,
but of course
Mother was absolutely right.
A young gal needs
a mother's watchful eye.
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Bye, bye.
- Goodbye.
Off to Lucerne now, Canon?
Yes. At least no. I shall be spending
the afternoon at the Athenaeum.
I shall be going straight
to the air terminal from there.
Well enjoy the conference.
- Thank you.
I'll be back tomorrow night.
Or first thing the following morning.
Depending on flights.
- Don't worry.
We'll keep the room for you.
The next booking is Saturday.
And I've left most of my things.
Just taking this.
Excuse me while I answer that.
Yes.
Goodbye.
Pennyfather!
Hello there.
Doctor Whittaker! How are you?
I haven't seen you since that lecture
on the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Surprised to find you're not
at the Lucerne Congress.
I am. Or rather I shall be.
I'm off to catch my plane now.
Afraid I can't stop.
But surely, what date
is the congress?
Tomorrow. The 19th.
I'll let you know
if anything crops up.
But, my dear chap
Well, see you at dinner, Jane.
Yes, indeed.
There's Dolly Leadbetter.
Dolly!
Allow me.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
That is a handsome pattern.
Do you think so?
- Yeah.
I am glad. I wasn't quite sure.
It's for my nephew.
He's treating me to a fortnight here.
Very nice.
- Yes.
He originally thought of Bournemouth,
but I stayed at Bertram's
with an aunt as a child
and I've never forgotten it.
Has it changed much?
- No.
That's the queer thing.
At first, it seemed wonderful,
stepping back into the past,
but, but it should've changed,
shouldn't it?
Just like St. Mary Mead.
I mean, one might not like
the new school buildings
but it's a sign of the times.
And the essence of life
is going forward.
Quite.
Even though it appears
to be backward.
Yes, Bertram's seems to me
I don't know
Why do I keep thinking
the same thing?
What thing?
That it's almost too good to be true.
Is that why you're here?
I beg your pardon?
Well, you are a policeman,
aren't you?
I'm so sorry.-
Was it meant to be a secret?
- Well
Good evening, sir.
I'm checking in
for the flight to Lucerne.
Your ticket please, sir,
and your passport.
Yes.
Thank you, sir.
- How did that get there?
I'm sorry, sir, this seems
to be the wrong ticket.
No, no, no. That's it,
Flight 200 and something or other.
Where are my glasses?
- It's the date, sir.
This ticket is dated the 18th
Today is the 19th.
But that's impossible.
That would mean my plane
went yesterday.
Yes, sir.
- And the conference took place today?
Thank you.
Bertram's?
- Yes, Sir Ronald. Just a hunch.
Your bloody hunches.
It was the Carmolly Street robbery
and all the confusion
with Justice Ludgrove
and him staying at Bertram's.
You surely d water?
- Please, Sir Ronald.
You surely don't think
old Dicky Ludgrove's
running a crime syndicate
between sittings?
No, no. It's just something nagging
at the back of my mind.
Which is why you've been hogging
muffins at Bertram's? Cheers.
Can't explain it.
Nice respectable hotel.
Impeccable clientele.
It's just, well,
almost too good to be true,
to coin a phrase.
Can I help you, sir?
- A table for one, please.
You can choose any one you like.
Thank you.
Um, I'll have that one.
By the heater. It's chilly out.
A very good night for a curry.
And I've,
just had rather a shock too.
Dear, I am sorry to hear that.
Perhaps you would like a drink?
Right, Bert. I'm going off now.
- Good night.
There you are.
Thank the Lord I kept my room on,
that's all I can say.
Indeed, sir.
Looking for accommodation
in London is no joke.
No.
And it must have been
a terrible disappointment to you.
To miss so great a conference.
Entirely my own fault. I
I tend to get confused these days.
It is the pace of life.
I rather feared it was senile decay.
No, sir.
Since I came to London,
I also am sorely confused.
What the