Should I Marry A Murderer? (2026) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[traditional bagpipe music plays]
[woman] Imagine you fall in love
with someone who made you feel accepted,
wanted,
seen.
[traditional bagpipe music continues]
Who made you feel whole
and loved and just special.
[ominous string music plays]
And you are just so happy.
[ominous string music continues]
And then they say to you,
"I've done a horrible, horrible thing."
[reporter 1] It is the remote,
rugged edge of the Highlands
that held the darkest
sinister secret for years.
[shutters click]
Something so vile
it flips your entire world upside down.
[ominous string music swells]
[reporter 2] Mountain rescue teams search
for a man who's been missing
for more than a week.
There was not
a single trace of him alive ever again.
[man] He's effectively disappeared
into thin air.
[woman] To remain in love,
you have to keep this secret
that you know is gonna destroy you.
But if you reveal it,
then you destroy everything.
[ominous string music continues]
What would you do?
[ominous string music ends]
["Don't Delete the Kisses"
by Wolf Alice plays]
I see… ♪
[woman] In 2020,
I thought I had my life sussed.
I'm 29 years old,
and I've been with my long-term partner
for eight years.
["Don't Delete the Kisses" continues]
We had good wages,
and we had our first home.
We even got a dog.
So, everything I'd hoped for
had come true at this point.
["Don't Delete the Kisses" continues]
I just assumed we'd be getting married
and we'd be having children
and following suit
with what our parents had done.
What if it's… ♪
I met Caroline
at medical school in Edinburgh,
and we became very close friends.
She is fiercely intelligent,
high-achieving.
She's got a photographic memory,
so medicine came very easily.
In her final year at university,
she got a new boyfriend.
They were together
until their late twenties,
then it all fell to pieces.
Love… ♪
[Caroline] Me and my partner
had a horrible breakup.
He admits to a terrible betrayal,
and you realize all of those
seven, eight years have been a lie.
Not meant… ♪
[James] The end of her relationship was
like a thermonuclear bomb had gone off,
and everything just fell to pieces
very rapidly.
It completely ripped my heart out,
and it was all for nothing.
["Don't Delete the Kisses" continues]
I felt so lonely,
and I wanted to find someone
who didn't want to change me,
and someone who would want
to start a life together with marriage
and with the prospect of children.
I see the signs of a lifetime… ♪
Morning, Glasgow!
You 'til I die ♪
["Don't Delete the Kisses" fades out]
[dramatic music plays]
[Caroline] I was working
as a pathologist in Glasgow.
We are the doctors
that determine the cause of death.
But a mortuary isn't exactly the place
to meet the man of your dreams.
So I did what everyone does
and I get Tinder.
What could possibly go wrong?
[electronic dance music plays]
So you're making your profile…
[electronic dance music continues]
…and I realized that a lot of these men
spent way more time
looking in the mirror than I did.
Then I was like,
"I'm really struggling here."
[electronic dance music continues]
Glasgow, even though it's a city,
is not a huge city.
That's why you've just
got to set your radius far.
Just take in most of Scotland.
You know, cast your net wide.
And let's just see what happens.
[electronic dance music continues]
And then I saw this gamekeeper pop up.
I was just hit by men in kilts.
It said, "Six-foot-four Highlander."
"Lonely contractor looking for someone
to keep him warm
on the cold nights on the farm."
And I thought, "Oof."
[electronic dance music continues]
He had a hunting agency,
and he had pictures of up in the hills.
It's that sort of idea
of a man who is like,
if Armageddon came, he could fix anything,
he could hunt anything.
Like a man's man, you know?
And I was like, "Yes." [laughs]
It pops up and goes, "You have a match."
So that's when I fired my number over,
and I was like… You know.
He immediately messaged me.
So I was like, "Go on, son."
He's got balls. He's gone for it.
-[phone buzzes]
-[electronic dance music continues]
He said, "Would you like
to come meet me at the farm?"
"We could go for a drive in the hills."
And I was like,
"That'll be an experience."
And then I phoned my friend Carla.
And she was like, "You're driving an hour
and a half. What if it goes wrong?"
I was like, "I'll be fine.
If nothing else, it'll be a laugh."
She said, "What if he's a murderer?"
I was like, "Come on,
get a grip, that won't happen."
"He won't be a bad man."
[dramatic string music plays]
[Caroline] It was an hour
and a half drive, hour fifteen.
"What am I doing?"
Right? "But I've committed now." [laughs]
[dramatic string music continues]
You're driving
into the beautiful Highlands.
[inaudible]
He said,
"Then there'll be a wee exit on the right
with a wee small sign
that says Auch Estate."
"And that's where I stay."
[dramatic string music swells]
And you look down into the Auch Estate.
And it's got what we call Munros,
which are like mountains in Scotland.
You're driving into this magical place.
[dramatic string music fades out]
[dramatic electronic music plays]
[Caroline] He was 6'4".
He looked like a real man.
That sounds silly,
but like an outdoorsy man.
And he had that smell of smoke
and sweat and a bit of aftershave.
And he had quite a deep voice.
And I was like, "Ooh!" Nervous. Um…
So, it was like, "Hi." "Hi."
"Cool." "Nice."
"Great weather." "Lovely." [laughs]
"You live here?
This is-- This is where you stay?"
[blows raspberry] I said,
"Do you own this?"
And he's like, "No, no, no."
I was like, "Oh. Shit." [laughs]
[dramatic electronic music continues]
He said, "Ready for a day in the hills?"
I was like, "Yes, please."
[dramatic string music plays]
And you come up to a ravine
or a river crossing.
He said, "Wanna do it?"
I said, "You sure? How do I do this?"
He said, "First gear, keep it steady."
-I stay in first?
-[Sandy] Yeah.
[Caroline] Whoo! Fun! Wow.
And I was like, "Can I sing in the car?"
He's like, "Yes."
I said, "Sure?"
He said, "Why wouldn't you?"
[Sandy laughs]
My last partner told me
I was sometimes too much.
I'd been banned from singing in the car.
I was never allowed to.
Whereas this guy was like,
"I just want you to be you."
[sings indistinctly]
He was belting it out.
And he's doing all the wee high voices.
And he's doing wee dance moves.
I thought,
"This guy's an absolute goofball."
"But he's alive and he's going with it.
He's so relaxed."
And I felt so happy.
[dramatic string music continues]
He said, "Would you like to see me again?"
I was like, "Yes."
I said, "Would you like to see me again?"
He was like, "Well, yes."
And I was like, "Okay, when?"
He said, "Tomorrow?" I was like, "Done."
[electronic dance music plays]
After our first date,
things moved quite fast.
Because he was far away
and it wasn't down the road,
you'd have to commit
and go for the weekend.
[exhales] Sweaty.
[electronic dance music continues]
I'm going from the cold mortuary
to a farmer's cottage
with big homemade meals and dogs.
[electronic dance music continues]
[Caroline laughs]
He was fun and he had banter.
And he got my silly puns, right?
I was falling for him,
hook, line, and sinker.
[electronic dance music continues]
[man] Hey.
[Caroline] Farmers have a very
"work hard, play hard" lifestyle.
So when they then get together,
oh, they get together.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[electronic dance music continues]
And then you've got a shed, right,
with a big-ass speaker, with bass.
[laughs]
And they can just rock up in their trucks.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[electronic dance music continues]
And then he would look out and he'd go,
"Right…" [whistles] "…out,
quad bikes, let's go."
I'd say, "I'm exhausted,
I don't wanna go."
He said, "Trust me, it'll be special."
-[electronic dance music continues]
-[engine rumbles]
[Caroline] The views were really unreal.
It was just us. Us against the universe.
[laughs]
-[Sandy] Need my pants.
-Get your clothes on, lad.
Ha, ha!
Oh, yeah.
Here I am standing in the middle
of this Scottish Highland estate.
And it's like you own the place.
That was when I realized
I loved him and I felt loved.
He seemed proud to have me there.
And I think
that made me feel really special.
[electronic dance music fades out]
Can we stop? [inhales quietly]
[ominous music plays]
[James] They seemed
infatuated with each other.
There were lots of pictures of them
enmeshed on social media.
Cuddled up on hillsides, kissing.
I thought it was unlikely
that she'd suddenly stumbled upon
the best man ever.
[ominous music continues]
Everyone knew that she'd recently been
out of a very challenging relationship.
And I told her that I thought
that she should just take things slowly
and that she was
still not completely sorted.
And she didn't listen.
[intriguing music plays]
Good morning!
Over the last month, six weeks, I'd stayed
every weekend 'til the Monday morning,
and get up at, like, half past four
or five o'clock in the morning
to drive back,
so I could have extra time.
-[man] Hello. Mortuary.
-It's Caroline.
[man] Two minutes.
-Are you at the front door?
-Aye.
-[man] See you soon.
-See you soon.
[intriguing music continues]
Sandy was very interested in my work.
He was like, "Know what, that's great,
because I can tell you what I do
and you won't be squeamish."
"You won't think
it's disgusting or macabre."
[intriguing music continues]
Sandy had started his own hunting agency.
To maintain the estates, you have to cull
some of the larger numbers of the deer.
We both had to deal with death
on a daily basis.
Postmortems were a big part of my job.
A postmortem is when someone's passed away
and the cause of death is unknown.
You go in, there'll be a body,
and you take a PM40 blade,
and you cut through the fat
until you get into the abdomen,
and you then move the insides.
So you'll have the tongue in one hand
and the anus in the other.
It's all in one. It's called the pluck.
Sandy would also have
to remove the insides.
And he would do that so fast,
and when you blink, it'd be done.
He was very, very equipped
with knife skills and handling meat.
[intriguing music continues]
There was this very, very niche,
but weird overlap of a skill set.
[intriguing music continues]
[machine whirs]
Ah, Mondays…
He was like, "I've never had someone
who I can talk to about death so much
and it be okay."
How do you start your day, my friend?
[chuckles]
[gunshot]
[intriguing music continues]
Sandy has a twin brother called Robert.
So him and Robert were born and raised
on the Auch Estate.
They spent all their time together.
They'd finish each other's sentences.
They could sense
what the other was thinking.
[dark music plays]
They were quite the pair, well known
in the community around the estate.
[dark music continues]
[man] I knew Sandy and Robert.
They used to frequent the bar, you know,
if they had guys staying at the estate
they were taking out stalking.
Sandy was always loud and bullish
and boyish and, you know…
If the first pint lasted five minutes,
he would have another one
probably within five minutes.
Sandy was this really demonstrative,
kind, loving, affectionate,
a little bit shy at times,
quirky, goofy guy.
And then it would be
that one more drink, and it'd be, bang.
It'd be like a complete mask.
He'd even look and sound different.
His eyes would be glazed over.
His energy changed.
It went from very light to dark.
[dark music continues]
He could be then angry at the world,
and take that frustration out
on anyone nearby.
He would become a pain, let's say.
The seat would get pushed aside,
he'd be waving about the bar.
After eight or ten whiskeys, you know,
he's louder than he ever was, you know,
and he kind of looks worse for wear.
[dark music continues]
-[Caroline] You gonna try and deny it?
-I'm not.
Okay.
I never said-- I never denied it, but--
[Caroline] You just denied it ten times.
Look at you.
[dark music swells]
There's a picture of the boys
at their cousin's wedding.
And that would've been about, maybe,
three or four years before I met Sandy.
And they're in their kilts,
looking very dapper,
and they are a pair of tens, right?
[dark music continues]
And I'm looking at them now,
thinking, "Something's really changed."
They looked like they were unhappy.
[bass-heavy music plays in background]
Is something bothering him?
Because drinking and recreational drugs,
yes, it can be fun for a party,
but if they're a crutch,
you need to ask yourself why.
[electronic dance music
plays in background]
It was one
of the first parties in the barn…
-[cheering]
-[indistinct chatter]
…that Robert, his twin brother,
took me aside, and Robert went,
"My brother, he's not right in the head.
He's not well."
-[electronic dance music continues]
-[indistinct chatter]
I was so consumed by my affection
that I was blindsided to the red flags.
Part of me thought,
because I'd come from a sad situation,
that the two of us could heal each other.
-[dark music continues]
-[Caroline sighs, chuckles]
When he was being "Good Sandy,"
so to speak,
you'd just be so enveloped
in the love and affection.
And that was that sense of wanting
that I hadn't had in so long,
and I couldn't help
but just get swept up by it.
[intriguing music plays]
We met in early October,
and it was coming to the end of November,
and his uncle owned an estate.
And on his private estate
would do private shoots.
So Sandy said, "You need to start
practicing how to shoot."
"So I'll go and get a clay pigeon trap."
[shots fire]
And it was… exhilarating.
-[Sandy] Oh yeah.
-[laughs]
[shots fire]
RIP.
During the shoot,
his uncle had said he would get us a peg,
which is the name
for the area you stand to shoot together,
as an engagement gift
or a wedding present.
And I was like, "I beg your pardon?"
But Sandy kinda gave me
a wee look and a wee smirk,
and was like, "Mm-mm."
And I was like, "Eh, ew…"
Sandy had said, kind of outside,
"I wasn't joking, Caroline."
"I would be so proud if you were my wife."
And I was like, "Stop it. Really?"
[hopeful music plays]
"We're gonna marry?
You haven't got on one knee."
[laughs] "I don't even have a ring."
"How can we get married without a ring?"
He said, "We have to get you a ring."
[delicate music plays]
He said he'd always fantasized
about building a jetty down on Loch Lyon
and getting married on the jetty.
The idea that someone
actually wanted to marry me…
Yeah, I mean, I know it sounds silly,
and it's all about women
being independent and strong,
but I'd always fantasized about the idea
that someone chooses me.
And I was so excited.
-[Caroline giggles]
-[delicate music continues]
[Caroline] Oh!
Why not? ♪
[delicate music ends]
[woman] We were in the front room,
and Caroline phoned.
She was almost giddily incoherent,
and in my heart,
I knew exactly what she was gonna say.
I knew it. And I was…
In my head, I was going,
"No, no, no, please, no."
I was like, "Mum, this man actually said
he might want to marry me."
And she went, "I beg your pardon. I've…"
"Stephen, Stephen, we've not met him yet."
[laughs]
Just, "Aren't you happy for me?"
I went, "Yes, uh, of course,
we're incredibly happy, but it…"
"Just take your time.
Don't rush into the next thing."
-[message pops]
-[poignant music plays]
[James] She sent a group-chat message
telling us this.
And there was radio silence
from all my other friends on that group
who were just… [laughs] …blanking it.
Everyone felt very uncomfortable about it
and thought this was a massive mistake.
And I think in response to that,
Caroline had phoned me
to talk about it,
and it sounded absolutely fucking mental.
And I was like,
"This is absolutely crazy."
And it all just seemed far too much
far too soon after the breakup
of her last relationship.
I had this devil-may-care attitude
of, "Do you know what, guys,
I understand your concern,
but you all have happy endings."
"I want mine."
"What's the worst that could happen?"
[melancholy string music plays]
Yes, it is rushed. And yes, it's crazy.
But see, in the moment,
it just felt unstoppable.
She said, "He announced it on Facebook."
And I was like, "Oh, uh… okay."
[melancholy string music continues]
I was happy that my daughter was happy.
I was unhappy about
him announcing that
they were engaged when really,
it had only been a few months.
"Stephen, we need to meet him. That's it."
"He's coming.
He has to come for Christmas Day."
We were… disquieted, I suppose.
Taken aback.
But I certainly wasn't
going to burst her bubble.
[string music turns mysterious]
[Caroline] We're driving back that night,
and I thought to myself,
"This is the time to ask him
if there's anything
he isn't telling me that I need to know."
I said, "If we're getting married,
you need to tell me
everything you're proud of
and everything you're not proud of."
"We have to trust each other,
and there's no lies."
[mysterious string music continues]
He became more sullen
and started to have quite heavy breathing.
The heavy breathing
turned into, like, sobs.
And I was like, "Sandy,
if you have a child, I should know."
And he's like, "No, it's not a child."
I said, "Okay, is it debt?"
He went, "No, it's not debt."
And…
he looked at me,
and he's like, "Do you love me?"
And I was like,
"Well, yeah, I do," you know.
And he's like,
"Well, then I need to tell you something."
And he said, "Pull over."
So I pull over the car.
And he leant over
and grabbed the keys from the ignition
and put them in his pocket,
and then said, "Give me your phone."
[mysterious music swells]
He put it in the glove compartment
and said, "Get out of the car."
I'm a bit stunned.
He said, "I've actually been building up
the courage to tell you all day."
And he was like,
"I've never loved and trusted someone
as much as I've loved and trusted you."
And he then said that he'd-- there'd been
something happened a few years before.
And I said,
"What happened a few years before?"
[mysterious music turns dark]
[Caroline] Him and Robert
had had a hunting party up,
staying at the Bridge of Orchy pub,
which is maybe
a mile and a half from the estate.
On one of the last nights,
the party were celebrating
a successful day being on the hill.
And Robert and Sandy
had been drinking at that meal.
He said they left the meal.
They wanted to see their friend in Oban.
And so they were over the limit.
[intense electronic music plays]
And it was on the way back,
driving back to the estate.
[bass-heavy music plays in background]
[Caroline] He'd said that
a big truck came with full beam
and blinded him.
In that moment, he then hit a cyclist.
And the man had flown over the car.
And so they stopped.
[car doors open]
And I said, "Well, was he okay?
Was he alive? Was he…"
He was like, "He was hit at high speed.
There's no way he was alive."
Sandy said they were
fighting with each other
about whether to go to the police.
I said, "Did you call help?"
He said, "What would we have done?"
"If we'd called the police,
I'd have lost everything."
"We'd have gone to jail
and lost our lives for a man
that should never have been there."
"These are 70-mile-an-hour roads."
[intense electronic music continues]
"If they find we've done this,
we'll be in jail the rest of our lives."
"And we lose everything
we've ever worked for."
"We're not bad people.
It's not our fault."
"It's just an accident. It's a mistake."
"Everyone makes mistakes.
Most people get away with them."
[intriguing music plays]
"And we panicked and we buried him."
[intriguing music continues]
And I said,
"What do you mean, you buried him?"
And he said, "He's on the estate.
You jog past him every day." [cries]
"He's right beneath your feet
when you shoot your clay pigeons." [cries]
[eerie pulsing music plays]
[Caroline] He was like,
"Caroline, it was an accident."
"We didn't mean to do it.
I'm not a bad person."
[eerie pulsing music continues]
I believed what he was saying.
I was so stunned in that moment.
I just told him that I loved him,
because he was crying,
and that good people make mistakes.
He was, like, joyful.
Like there was this massive weight
I took off his shoulders.
And he's just soothing me
and kissing my head
and saying, "I'm so glad we can
deal with this, and I love you so much."
I'm like, "Yeah, don't worry."
And so we walked
hand in hand back to the car.
[eerie pulsing music continues]
We drove in silence.
I've just told my mum and dad
that this man was to marry me. [weeps]
And I've just told my friends.
I just thought,
"I feel so ashamed."
And everything that I'd run away from
was now ten times worse.
[dark music plays]
When we arrived back at the house,
I said I was very tired and going to bed.
[Caroline breathes hastily]
While he was asleep,
I got my phone out and I went on Google.
-[clicking]
-[ominous music plays]
And then there it pops up.
His photo,
his name,
the date,
the Bridge of Orchy Hotel,
his bike.
CCTV images of a missing cyclist
have been issued
one year on from his disappearance,
and a fresh appeal for information…
[reporter] Cancer survivor Tony Parsons
had been crossing Scotland
in a 100-mile charity cycle.
Here, in September 2017,
the Navy veteran was captured on CCTV
weaving through the rural roads.
[cash register chimes]
[Charles] Myself and one of my colleagues
had just finished in the bar.
The bar was locked up.
We were doing the cash up.
And I heard that…
There was a knock on the door.
-[menacing music plays]
-[knocking]
So I opened the door,
and this gentleman was standing there.
He looked miserable.
He was soaked right through.
He had a poncho, he had on.
And I said, "Sorry, the bar's closed."
So we made him a cup of coffee,
and I think I gave him a biscuit.
[menacing music continues]
He said he was cycling
from Fort William to Stirling.
He was doing it for charity.
It's not a road to be taken lightly
in any kind of vehicle,
but on a bike at that time of night,
the visibility would have been terrible.
I kind of says to him,
"Would you like to maybe see
if I can get you a room for tonight?"
But he was just so determined
that, "No," and he needed
to get to his final destination.
He just kind of went outside,
and he was gone.
[menacing music continues]
He's embarked on this charity cycle
and effectively disappeared into thin air.
-[menacing music continues]
-[Caroline breathing heavily]
[Caroline] And I was like, "Fuck me."
[cries] "That's someone's dad.
He's the same age as my dad."
And they were looking for him.
They had all these appeals.
The family desperately searching.
[sniffles, inhales]
So you just do your best
to try and close your eyes and breathe.
And this person's arm flops around you.
You're repulsed by it, but what do you do?
I'm now realizing
I have to go to the police about this,
but I didn't really know how to leave.
[menacing music continues]
I was too afraid to sleep.
I'm just trying to keep calm.
[menacing music fades out]
It's a Monday morning, early morning.
Sandy had a long lie-in.
[snores]
I'm leaving at half six in the morning
to drive to work.
Everything has to get dealt with in time.
But now, I have to do my fucking job.
I can't let everything just crumble.
[urgent music plays]
And I arrive at work, and the manager
hands me the paperwork for the cases.
And there was a man
lying there on the slab.
And it was just so eerily…
like the man
I'm now envisaging in my mind.
[urgent music continues]
And I really struggled.
I actually forgot
to write my organ weights down.
The consultant came.
She said, "You've not done this, that.
It's unlike you."
[Caroline breathes heavily]
And, um, I remember
standing outside the mortuary doors.
-[phone rings]
-[urgent music continues]
My phone rings and it's Sandy.
And he says, "I'm so excited."
"I've spoke to the celebrant in Oban
to see if we can get married at the loch."
[bagpipe music plays faintly]
"I managed to get an appointment with her,
and she'll call you tomorrow."
"Right, okay."
You know, so as if nothing had…
So in his mind, it was full steam ahead.
[Caroline breathing heavily]
[producer] You could've not gone to work
and driven to a police station
and told them what happened.
The thing is, people might say,
"Why'd you not go
to the police immediately?"
My brain wasn't in a position yet
to go to the police.
My brain was still not really accepting
what I'd been told.
The underlying sense of panic
was so massive,
I actually couldn't address it
at that moment. [breathes heavily]
My brain just stuck itself in the middle,
refusing to let
either of those thoughts come in.
[bagpipe music continues]
So, during that week,
I would be receiving messages
from friends, family,
saying, "Oh, well, well, well,
Caroline's gonna get married."
And I just said, "Thank you."
While thinking,
"How will you get out of this?"
My mum had said, "You have to invite
Sandy around for Christmas."
"We need to meet him.
We need to meet him. Come 'round."
So that was already in the calendar.
My parents were so upset and disappointed
in how my last relationship ended.
How do you even begin
to have that conversation of,
"Do you know what,
actually, they're a killer"?
I've fucked up again.
[intriguing music plays]
You're delaying the inevitable,
thinking, "Just get through Christmas,
and then we'll deal with it."
[intriguing music continues]
So, as awful as it sounds
and as shameful as it sounds,
I went and picked Sandy up
on the Friday night,
and we drove to my parents.
Hi, Blue. Hello.
Come on. Come on.
Hiya.
Hello.
Oh… [growls]
Hi, darling.
There, pride and place,
on the mantelpiece,
she'd printed off two photos
and got them framed of him and I.
Oh my God. Uh… [blows raspberry] Uh…
For scale.
And he then sees the pictures
on the mantelpiece,
and he's proud as punch.
So I put, um,
some of their pictures in frames,
and that was my way of saying,
our way of saying,
"We accept that you're a couple."
-"You're welcome in our home."
-Mm-hm.
And to make them…
to see it was an act of love.
[intriguing music continues]
[Caroline] You need a hand, Mum?
We had this big family meal,
and, of course, you know,
it was the first time we'd all been
back around the table in ages.
So the house felt full.
[Sandy] Can I photograph?
[Caroline] The dog kept putting her head
in Sandy's lap,
looking for scraps of food.
Sitting right there with her teeth out.
Everyone was laughing,
and the most horrible thing was
he just fitted into my family so easily.
He was smart. He was clean.
He was tidy.
And he was polite.
[intriguing music continues]
We were sat here and he said,
"Does it bother you that I don't have
the education that Caroline's had?"
I said to him,
"It doesn't make any difference at all."
"All I care about is
that you have feelings for our daughter,
that you will look after her,
and that you're a decent human being."
And he said,
"I do care. I will look after her."
"And I am."
[intriguing music continues]
[Caroline] My mum was so over the moon
that I found someone
who had made me happy,
and everyone was
just in this little blissful bubble.
It almost felt selfish
if I had burst that bubble,
especially around Christmas.
In doing the right thing,
I knew I had to hand in the man I loved.
There's an element of,
"Why don't I just let him remain happy
for just a little while longer?"
[intriguing music continues]
You know, we can't help, sometimes,
who we fall in love with.
I know it sounds
so twisted and dysfunctional,
but in some ways
he's putting all this trust in you.
Because I'd been lied to before
and really hurt.
It was this weird sense
of someone's trusting me enough
with such a big secret.
That felt special,
even though I knew
it was so poisonously wrong.
[exhales]
[dark music plays]
But then he asked me to do something
which shook me to my core.
[dark music continues]
He started to talk about
how the Auch Estate had a new owner,
a Hong Kong billionaire owner,
who had just had his building plans
permitted from the local council.
Sandy said right beside
where that man was buried,
they're going to be
ripping the area up for housing.
"I need to make sure
that man is out of the ground
before, obviously, anyone else finds him."
"And… I need you to help me."
"And if we can get rid of this problem,
then we can have this life together."
And he was asking me how long
it would take to burn a human body.
And I was like,
"It depends the state of decomposition."
He said, "I poured a shit ton of bleach
on that man, Caroline."
"And it was horrible."
"It was disgustingly horrible." [sniffles]
[dark music continues]
That was the moment I realized,
"I have to go to the police
as soon as I can now."
"But to keep him calm in the moment,
I now have to go into work mode."
And I was like, "Well…
it's actually very hard to burn a body."
"You need a crematorium,
which is thousands of degrees hot."
"Otherwise, because of people's
visceral fat, it can take days."
And then you're thinking to yourself,
"Am I being used for my skill set?"
I had "pathologist" on my Tinder profile.
Did he choose me specifically because…
[app beeps]
…he wanted someone to help him with this?
What were the chances that
you would meet someone
who's killed somebody
and needs help with moving a body?
And all those conversations,
everything is suddenly
getting played back in your head.
"I can talk about death
around you, Caroline,"
and, "Our jobs aren't that dissimilar."
[machine whirs]
Did he ever actually like me for me?
Or was he just doing everything he could
to get me in a position
where he knew he'd be able
to have control and influence over me?
[melancholy music plays]
I just wanted that man
out of my parents' house.
I wanted to be on that road,
get him back to the estate, drop him off,
and drive away and breathe.
[melancholy music continues]
I literally drove out of the estate
and just had a panic attack.
[melancholy music continues]
If I'm gonna call the police,
it was now or never.
But I also knew deep down
that the minute I went to the police
and did what I had to do,
his whole life would never be the same.
-[melancholy music continues]
-[birdsong]
[Margaret] The phone went.
"Mum, it's Caroline."
And she was in a state.
"Are you up? Are you awake?"
[intriguing music plays]
As soon as she came in,
she literally just collapsed in my arms,
going, "He's killed someone.
He's killed someone."
I don't even remember this,
but my mum said
that I was on the floor howling
in the fetal position.
It felt like something off the television.
It-- It felt like, um,
something that you read about,
not something
you're actually living through.
She said, "I've got to do what's right."
"I'll have to call the police."
And I said, "Yes,
you obviously have to call the police."
And I know it was the right thing to do,
but it still doesn't make it
any goddamn easier to hurt someone
who, even if they have done
a terrible thing, you still care for them.
[dramatic music plays]
[line dialing]
[ringing continues]
[operator] Good morning.
Police Scotland. How can I help you?
[Caroline] I wish to report
information about a crime
that happened three years ago
in Bridge of Orchy.
A hit-and-run.
Disposal of a body
and lying to the police.
The man's name is Tony Parsons.
It was a recent partner
who disclosed it to me.
I can't. I can't. I can't.
I can't live with it. I have to report it.
[operator] What's his name, please?
[Caroline breathes deeply]
Alexander McKellar.
[dramatic music plays]
He's like, "Right."
"I'll put you on hold."
[lively electronic music plays]
And then my dad's going,
"What if our daughter now gets done
for aiding and abetting
or accessory to murder?"
"You should've phoned
the police right away."
I said, "I didn't know how."
[lively electronic music continues]
And then the operator said, "Look,
we're gonna send out two detectives."
[lively electronic music continues]
So an unmarked police car pulls up.
The two officers get out in their suits.
They walk up and they're very respectful.
They sat down at the kitchen table.
And that's when I started
giving my first statement.
And we probably spoke to them
for about two hours, three hours.
[lively electronic music continues]
And then they started asking me
about where the man was buried,
if I could locate it on a map.
And could I take them
exactly to that spot?
Go.
[gunshots]
Sandy had said that the man was basically
under our feet by the clay pigeon trap.
[gunshots]
They're like,
"How close to the clay pigeon trap?"
And I'm thinking,
I don't know if it's two meters,
five meters, 50 meters, 20 meters.
[lively electronic music continues]
And it started to dawn on me
that I didn't actually know
exactly where he was buried.
"Look, just keep speaking with him.
Just keep him calm."
"Say you're spending time at your parents
and you'll see him in a few days."
"We'll get back to you tomorrow
with how we'll handle this."
[grim music plays]
So you're lying in bed, and your brain's
going into complete overdrive
and thinking, "What have I done?"
"What the fuck have I done?"
"Oh God, what have I done?"
"Shit."
"Oh my God, what have I done?"
"I don't even know
where the man definitely is."
[grim music continues]
I need to make sure I can,
to the best of my ability,
mark where that man is,
so that they'd find him.
And I wanted to see Sandy.
Part of me wanted to say goodbye
in my own way.
-[car starts]
-[grim music continues]
I left really early,
and I snuck out of my parents' house.
I hopped in my car and didn't tell anyone.
I know I shouldn't have don't it,
but I drove to the Auch Estate.
And I remember,
I pull in to the estate and I park up,
and then Sandy goes,
"Let's go for a walk. Let's have a chat."
I was like,
"Why don't we shoot some clays?"
[grim music continues]
And so he's getting the shotguns out,
getting all the ammunition.
By routine, if you go into the hills,
you'd just put
a wee energy can in your pocket.
And so we're walking to the car…
[grim music swells]
[Caroline chuckles]
Despite that situation,
you keep yourself
doing everything you can possible
to act as normal as possible,
because otherwise, I'm fucked.
I am totally fucked.
[grim music crescendos]
[pulsing electronic music plays]
There we are.
[pulsing electronic music continues]
I'm looking at my watch, thinking,
"My mom and dad will realize I'm not home.
I don't have much time."
[Caroline breathes heavily]
Ah!
I'm thinking, "If these police cars
pull up and he's got a gun,
would he shoot me?"
[pulsing electronic music continues]
[fires]
I had a wee Apple Watch on.
I think it said my heart rate was 190.
You know when you hear it
beating in your ears?
[pulsing electronic music fades out]
I said, "Sandy,
if you want me to help you with this,
you need to show me
exactly where you buried this man."
[dramatic music plays]
And so, with guns in hand,
we're walking down the path.
And he taps the ground like, "Here."
[inhales]
[dramatic music continues]
I was like, "Okay."
And we're turning to go back,
and I'm searching,
and I'm thinking, "Fuck."
Like,
I have not counted my steps here.
There was no identifiable features.
There was no tree or rock.
There wasn't anywhere you could signpost
or remember where this place was.
[dramatic music continues]
Thankfully, I'd finished
my Red Bull earlier,
and I threw it over my shoulder.
Probably from the corner of his eye,
he sees the motion of me throwing the can.
And I say, instinctively, "I'm so sorry.
I don't know why I did that."
He said, "Go pick that up."
[dramatic music continues]
And I was like, "I know, sorry,
I'll go get it. I'll go back."
And it was just a "now or never" moment.
And crunched it into the ground
and then immediately did that hurried
sort of skip-walk back to someone.
[dramatic music swells]
I'm thinking, "He definitely
didn't see that, did he? No."
[dramatic music pulses]
So, when I got in my car and I drove out,
my phone started ringing.
Unknown number,
which is what the Police Scotland ring on.
And I answer it,
and it's a female voice,
and she went, "Where are you?"
I said, "I'm parked outside the estate.
I marked the grave site with a can."
I'm going through in Google Maps,
showing them where the man is buried.
They're asking me questions like,
"Would they shoot at the police?"
And I don't know,
but you think to yourself,
"Say, if they have--
It's a… 'fuck it' moment…"
"Whilst I hope they wouldn't shoot,
I can't rule that out."
So I get home.
And my mum's obviously terrified,
because she said,
"That man knows where we live."
[grim music plays]
[Margaret] It was this
crazy household of stress.
We've never felt threatened
or-- or vulnerable like that in our lives.
They're big, they're broad,
they're-- they're strong,
and they certainly, you know,
can slice up animals very professionally.
And I'm just thinking,
"It's nearly over. It's nearly over."
I was trying to almost stage normality,
because we were beyond not coping.
[grim music continues]
And then Sandy messages
and says, "Look, change of plan."
"We'll go to my friend's house tonight.
Come along, come join us."
[chimes]
And I immediately called the detective.
[line dialing]
And I said, "He won't be
at the estate tonight with his brother."
"He's actually at a friend's house."
[grim music continues]
And she's like,
"Right, just keep him calm."
"Find out where he is
and let us know immediately."
And I'm sitting in my parents' garden,
and he phones me.
[Caroline breathes heavily]
And I was like,
"Maybe I will… not go to work tomorrow."
"I'll, you know…"
"I'll come up tonight instead."
He's like, "Babe, that'd be so much fun."
"Come along."
He said, "I really wish you'd be here."
I said, "I really wish I was there too."
-[grim music continues]
-[indistinct chatter]
I can hear the wee party
in the background.
And he's had a few drinks, and he's going,
"Oh, Caroline, I'm so lucky to have you,
and I love you so much."
And I was like,
"I love you too, Sandy. I really do."
And I said, "Send me your live location."
[grim music swells]
So that's what he did.
[app pops]
[app pops]
I sent it to them.
I hated myself.
I felt like a rat.
I felt like… a liar.
[grim music continues]
And checking on my phone,
on the messaging app we were using,
it would give a last active,
so the last time someone
had opened up the app on the phone.
It said, like, "Last seen about 3:20 a.m."
[grim music continues]
And then nothing.
[grim music intensifies]
I thought the boys being arrested
would be the end of everything
and they'd be held in police custody.
I would be safe. My parents would be safe.
Little did I know
that this wasn't just a hit-and-run.
This was actually something much worse.
And it was gonna be
one of the darkest chapters of my life.
[grim music fades out]
[officer 1] Armed police! Stand still!
Show me your hands!
[officer 2] Show me your hands!
Stand still!
[officer 1] Get down!
["Yew" by TRILLS plays]
Look for me under the yew tree ♪
Where the roots collide ♪
Stay with me until dawn breaks ♪
And the rain subsides ♪
Bury me under the yew tree ♪
Lay my body down ♪
Protect my bones from darkness ♪
In the deep, deep ground ♪