Stumble (2025) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
1
All right, y'all,
let's see that pyramid.
Y'all gonna have to hit zero
you want to compete at Daytona.
Coaching college cheer
has been my life's work.
I am currently
one championship shy
of being the winningest coach
in college cheer history.
Can I win the title?
I can. I will. I must.
I have put together the finest,
the most athletic,
the most disciplined teams
to ever take the mat.
No, no, no! No, no! Oh!
[groaning, shouting]
Oh, this is not them.
Apateu, apateu ♪
Apateu, apateu ♪
Apateu, apateu ♪
Uh, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
Kissy face, kissy face,
sent to your phone ♪
But I'm tryin' to kiss
your lips for real ♪
Uh-huh, uh-huh, ♪
Red hearts, red hearts,
that's what I'm on, yeah ♪
Come give me
something I can ♪
This is my 14th in a row for
Sammy Davis Sr. Junior College.
And that ties me with
my former coach, Marg Harberg.
Yep, there she is right there.
She's my inspiration.
What a monster.
Lord, Marg used to just
really scream at me
and say very mean things
about my legs.
And that did not make me
a better cheerleader.
But it did make me
a better coach
'cause I build my athletes up
I don't tear them down.
[mischievous music]
[door opens] [gasps]
There he is, Dean Martin.
Hey, this is the camera crew
that's following me
as I pursue
my 15th championship.
-Oh, hello.
-[giggles]
Listen, I was sent
a disturbing
Speak up, honey.
If it's not interesting,
they'll cut it out.
Y'all will cut it out, yeah?
I was sent
a disturbing video of you
at your team's victory party.
[upbeat music playing, cheering]
And the award
for best booty goes to
Dean Martin, I don't know
who took that.
You shouldn't be drinking
with your team.
And you certainly shouldn't be
body-shaming your cheerleaders.
I would have killed to win
best booty back in my day.
I'm a mama bear for my team,
and you know that.
He knows that. [scoffs]
So I have been asked
to be fired.
All: What?
-I can't believe it.
All right, come on,
there's no crying in cheer.
Why?
Move.
[tearfully] Why?
Tammy, I need you
to be strong right now.
I'm trying.
[high-pitched baby voice]
This is [bleep].
I say if Courteney leaves,
we all leave.
-Yeah.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.
No one's leaving.
Well, I am.
-Right.
And in the meantime, our
best assistant coach, Tammy,
is going to be taking over.
Uh
-Yeah.
-No!
Like, no!
-Tammy.
[sobbing]
No!
Excuse me, Coach "Is-tiny?"
Oh, first of all,
it's pronounced "Is-tan-ey."
[chuckles] Second of all,
which is really first of all,
I'm still
Assistant Coach Istiny.
-Will you step up?
-You know, of course.
If I'm asked to be head coach,
I will, reluctantly.
No, I mean step up
so we can see you.
Oh. [chuckles]
[chuckles] Can we start over?
I mean, can you
believe that, Boon E.?
I'm a scandal
because of that dumb videotape.
I got a good mind
to get a job at a school
that appreciates what I do.
And then
-Okay, time-out, Coach, okay?
Or I'm going to have to call
flag on the play.
You have not taken a day
to yourself in 20 years.
You think maybe things happen
for a reason?
Maybe take a little you time
for once in your life?
Maybe even start
a little team of our own.
Coach and I were
high-school sweethearts.
And I got a scholarship
to QB Texas Tech.
But the Lord had other plans.
[crunch] [groans]
Ball's out! Whoo-hoo!
Yeah, after I woke up
and learned to, um
oh, what's the word?
Talk again, I asked Courteney
to marry me.
And I got a job
coaching football
at Sammy Davis Sr.
Junior College,
and she coached cheer.
Hey, did I tell y'all
about my head injury?
I just can't have my legacy be
some best booty award, you know?
Mm-hmm.
You let me win one more
championship, all right?
And then I'll go out on top.
And then I will retire.
-Mm-hmm.
Hey, this time, I promise.
You being for real right now?
I'm dead ass.
That's what the kids say.
Well, okay, then.
But I think you should
strategize, you know?
Don't just run and gun, okay?
You got to see
what you're lined up against.
Fourth quarter
[cell phone vibrates.]
You're down by 6,
but there's a lot of game left.
-I got a job interview.
-That's a touchdown.
Small junior college
in Oklahoma, 80 miles away.
That's, what, 50 minutes
by pickup truck?
Easy.
Wait, what's the name
of this college?
Ha Hell
-Hale
-Hay
Heya
Headltston,
home to the world-famous
"Heedlestown"
Candy Button Factory
and Candy Button Factory
Gift Shop & Museum.
Open every day,
except Christmas and Tuesday.
Paid for by the
"Haddlestone" Tourism Bureau.
There's an awful lot
of cheerleading on here.
Isn't that what the job is?
No, it's a typing teacher
who does also happen to be
a cheerleading coach.
I don't see words per minute
on here.
Candy button?
-No, thank you.
-You sure?
I'm going to level with you,
President Nitwick.
I need to win
a championship this year.
I can. I will. I must.
And when we do,
I can bring in enough money
to get you a truckload
of those candy buttons.
[crunching]
I'm officially a member
of the faculty
at Hya Haroldst
whatever the name
of this place is.
Whoo!
Now, in order to qualify
for the Nationals at Daytona,
I've got to get a team
to cheer camp
almost six weeks
from today, okay?
The day before that is
something called a show-off,
where you show off your routine.
Oh, that's my birthday
right there.
[chuckles] I don't really care
much about it.
You know what, though?
I will I will draw a little
party hat and a little cake,
just so we don't forget.
Oh, shoot.
I'm drawing that cat
I know how to do.
Are we supposed
to be typing that or?
[typewriter bell dings]
What I really need to do now
is put together a new team.
I'm starting at the top
of the pyramid Krystal.
God, she's my star flyer.
I mean, I discovered her.
I turned her
into a cheer-lebrity.
Let's just say she owes me.
-[screams]
-[shushing]
What are you doing here?
Okay, we've got to keep this
on the down-low.
Remember how you said if I left,
you would also leave?
-Yes.
Even though this is my
third and final senior year
at a two-year college,
making it the most important
year of my life,
I will follow you anywhere.
Okay, I'm starting
a new program at a tiny school
with an unpronounceable name.
And I want to build that
program around you, okay?
You're my star flyer, Krystal.
What do you say?
[giggles] I say no.
But thank you.
Go get them!
[upbeat music playing in gym]
♪♪
[door closes]
Um
can y'all just give me some
privacy, just for a minute?
I'm sorry. Thank you.
Mother[bleep]
in the [bleep] ass[bleep]!
You're okay.
Rat [bleep].
Courteney, language.
[bleep] Dale Earnhardt! [groans]
All right, you're calming down.
[in gym] You not on my level ♪
You not the baddest ♪
It's actually fine
about Krystal.
At my last tryout at
Sammy Davis Sr. Junior College,
I had 75 people show up.
I only need to take 10.
Ooh, it's gon' be a big day.
[laughs]
[snoring]
[sniffing]
Do y'all smell that?
Hey, hon, it's me.
Oh, Courteney, you're alive.
I feared the worst.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
But how's the team doing?
Terrible.
Like me, we're all puddles.
[slurps]
Oh, I got a brain freeze.
I was just wondering if you
had any extra cheerleaders?
They locked me
out of the system.
Oh. Oh, no.
I'm not near my computer
right now.
Coach Istiny, picture's up
on the jumbotron.
[slurps]
Day one was a little slower
than I had hoped.
But I did find
that mystery smell.
So I'm going to count
today as a win.
[door opens, closes]
Can I help you?
Yeah, I'm
the Headltston cheer squad.
-Just you?
-Mm-hmm.
All right. Okay.
Well, let's see what you can do.
Okay.
Hey, hey, are you ready to play?
Say "go, team"!
-Okay.
When I say "Headle,"
you say "what"?
Heedle, what? Heidle, what?
Uh, I'm going to stop
you right there.
Honey, it is so good.
I love your energy.
Thank you.
A lot of vitality,
and I love that.
But I'm looking
for tumblers and stumblers,
like real gymnast-type
stuff, so
Hold my pom-poms.
Cue music, please.
[Megan Thee Stallion's
"Girls in the Hood" playing]
Being good, I'm a bad B ♪
I'm sick of mother[] ♪
Tryin' to tell me
how to live ♪
Wack, wack hate under
my pictures on the Gram ♪
You better hope I never run
across your man ♪
In the mall with him ♪
[music stops]
Sweetheart, you are
a force of nature.
Have you ever competed before?
-No.
For some reason,
no one ever gave me the the
[groans]
Oh, yeah, I have narcolepsy.
[whispering]
Are you dead or sleeping?
And you lay 'em out.
You hear me?
-Hey, Coach.
-Hey, baby.
How was first day of tryouts?
I had a narcoleptic tumbler
and a dead mama possum.
They both made the team.
-Aw, come here.
-No, no, no.
Don't "aw" me. Don't "aw" me.
I'm fine. I'm great.
You know, I'd be more worried
if I didn't just have the worst
two days of my career, yeah?
Which means big things
are gon' happen.
Throw it. Throw it.
What in the hell is he doing?
[whistle blows]
Dimarcus.
-Whoo-hoo!
Dimarcus leads our team
in rushing yards,
as well as unsportsmanlike
conduct penalties.
Yeah, it's me!
Ha!
You know, he's he's just
[grunting]
He's an [bleep].
He's a straight-up [bleep].
You got ten other men
out on the field.
You cannot do everything
by yourself!
-I just did.
-Not on my team, young man.
Fine.
Then I quit.
All ri Dimarcus let's not do
this again.
Come on. No, stay in those pads.
One of these days, Dimarcus,
I ain't gonna take you back.
Don't five him.
Nobody fives him!
No, no, mama.
Mama, don't do it.
-I know.
But it looks like
you're doing it anyway.
I'm not.
Dimarcus!
He's just gonna break
your heart.
-I know.
-Tell you what.
I never do get tired of
watching her run away from me.
Mm.
Dimarcus, you dropped something.
I don't need it.
I said I quit.
-Good.
'Cause I want you to cheer
for me at my new school.
Nah.
See, Dimarcus doesn't cheer
for other people.
It seems like Dimarcus
don't play football either.
I'm giving you the opportunity
to dance, flip,
toss girls in the air, and get
all the attention you want
without pissing people off.
Sounds to me like
it'd be perfect for you.
You don't know me.
Damn, that's my dream.
What do I have to do?
-You can't quit.
And, remember,
there's no "I" in cheer.
But there is a "he."
[clears throat]
I'm still right here, doll.
[upbeat music]
I currently have
six cheerleaders
Dimarcus, Madonna, and four
that I found on TikTok
Smack it up, flip it up ♪
Who were kicked off their
team for being inappropriate.
Rub it down to the ground ♪
I'm just gonna get 'em
some full-coverage underwear.
They'll be fine.
But what I really need
is a veteran.
And Steven was one of
my best bases back in the day.
He left school his fourth
sophomore year, I think.
Uh, but since there's
no age limit at junior college,
I-I'm gonna see what he's up to.
[on PA] Steven Vaughn,
please come to the front.
Hey.
Coach.
-Steven?
-[chuckles]
You got
to be a grown man!
-Uh, yeah, I mean, it's
-Didn't you?
Oh, my goodness.
It's been 16 years.
Gosh, yeah.
And I'm on track for management.
-Oh, good, honey, good.
-Yeah.
[sighs] I really love it here.
Oh, because
I'm putting together a team.
That's why I came by.
And since you never
technically graduated
I'll do it.
Hey, everyone. [bleep]. I quit.
Let's do this.
Whoo!
-There he goes.
All right!
Still got it.
Okay, still going.
-Coming through!
Cheer was the best part
of my life.
Courteney straightened me out.
She gave me the confidence
that I could be something.
And, unfortunately,
I took that confidence,
and I quit cheer
to pursue a career
in car rentals,
which ended up being
the worst mistake I ever made.
Well, that and getting
a meth head pregnant, yeah.
I have less than two weeks
to find three cheerleaders
and teach them a new routine.
And I got typing papers
to grade.
Jesus, be a light unto my feet
and a lamp unto my path.
Hey!
Get on up out of there! Shoo!
[engine revs, tires screech]
[horn honks]
Oh, my God.
Come back!
I can't run in these jeans.
[whistles]
Cheer for me.
-What?
I want you
on my college cheer team.
You are the best
natural athlete I've ever seen.
Come and cheer for me.
What if I don't want to?
I can show this video
to the cops,
get you a different
kind of future.
What's your name, young lady?
Peaches.
That's so sweet.
I got the nickname when
I bashed this girl in the head
with a can of cling peaches,
and it stuck
the peaches and the name.
Let's get started.
We got a lot to do today.
Has anybody seen my iPad?
I left it right over here
[door opens, closes]
Nobody?
-Hi.
Uh, I am here for cheer tryouts.
This is from five weeks ago.
Oh, gosh. Sorry.
Uh, things have been
kind of crazy
[laughs]
Between classes and my job.
Plus, I just turned 18.
So my foster parents
kicked me out,
which was fine because they
were just starting to love me.
[laughs]
-Honey, are you okay?
Yeah.
Why?
To be clear, Sally
is not a great cheerleader.
But there is no way that
she is not making this team,
not with that life.
[people murmur]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby, whoa.
[applause, Sally laughs]
I'm probably going
to end up adopting her.
[chanting] And one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.
Dimarcus, focus.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Peaches, try to smile, babe.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Sally, you're okay, honey.
Are they perfect? No.
Are they good?
I wouldn't say so.
But I think they have
what it takes.
They have to be able
to trust you out there.
-Fine, here.
-And I'm talking
How long have you had these?
-Just, like, 30 minutes.
-[screams]
-Whoa! Okay
[body thuds]
Sally, are you okay?
Dimarcus, she is not a football.
If she was,
he wouldn't throw her.
Okay, Sleeping Beauty,
what's up?
What you want to do?
-Oh, where you going, cupcake?
-Then turn it up, then.
-I can go all night.
Hey, cut it out!
Y'all need to work as a team.
We don't have time to be dealing
with this kind of nonsense.
Am I frustrated?
Yeah, yeah, a teeny bit.
Repeat it back to me.
-We don't have time for this.
And you need to work
you need to work as a team.
Steven, let me handle this.
We need to work as a team.
Work together as a team.
Did you hear me say
not another word, Steven?
It feels like what used
to be the easy part
is now the hard part,
and the hard part
hasn't even happened yet.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[all groaning]
-[bleep].
[indistinct shouting]
Hey. Hey, hey.
Knock it off, knock it off!
Y'all can't even throw
a simple pyramid.
How you gonna compete
at Daytona, huh?
Where are you going, Dimarcus?
Oh, are you gonna quit
like you quit everything?
I'm just getting my shoe.
[sniffles]
Pra uh, practice is over.
Please get out of my way.
-Coach, where you going?
[crying] I'm going
wherever people go in this town
on their birthday.
The Candy Button Factory,
open every day,
except Christmas and Tuesday.
[whispering] Who wants
to tell her it's Tuesday?
[door opens, toilet flushing]
Baby, you're not
in your birthday suit.
What Oh, [bleep]!
[whispering] Sorry.
That was a freebie.
I had the worst day.
Oh, baby.
Honey, I blew up at my team.
Can I give you the "aw" now?
-Yeah.
-Aw.
That's too much.
[sighs]
That's better.
Look, look at how good
my old team was.
Mm-hmm.
They didn't start out
like this, though.
Remember that one kid
who ate batteries for money?
You used to call him
a busted can of biscuits.
What was his name?
-Steven.
He's my base now.
All right.
I do remember
that first team, though.
Lord, I had no idea
what I was doing.
You get mad at them when
they didn't make it to Daytona?
Heck, no, I was trying
to make sure nobody died.
Two years later you won
your first championship.
Do what you did then.
Well, I can't.
I know too much now.
You can't forget
what you already know.
I did.
[crunch] [groans]
You sure did.
What you got to do is you
got to be that feisty girl
that thinks outside the box.
And I know you can do it.
-Thank you, Coach.
-You're welcome, Coach.
I see you looking
at my zit patch.
Mm.
I'm still feisty, by the way.
-Time to go, fellas.
-Oh?
Come on, now, that's your cue.
Don't let the door kiss you,
'cause I'm gonna go kiss her.
I am so sorry for the way
that I acted yesterday.
It is my job to get you all
to Daytona, yeah?
And I'm going to do
everything in my power
to make that happen.
-[exhales sharply]
Yeah, you will.
When I say "Headle,"
you say "what"?
Heidle, what? Heidle, what?
Oh, there she goes.
No, just let's let her rest.
Let's let her rest.
I don't want to be
that person, but, I mean,
we're still one short
of even qualifying for Daytona.
Oh, gosh, okay,
so I would ask my sister,
but she passed away.
Oh, okay.
Okay. Um, it's true, yeah.
We are still one away,
but we can.
[door opens]
We all: Will.
-We
-Hello!
Krystal, what
are you doing here?
I've decided to bring
my skills and cheer-lebrity
to Heedletown
to help you all win
the National Championship
at Daytona!
I did tell Krystal that
this documentary is about her.
And that's thinking
outside the box. [laughs]
I'm tellin' you to loosen
up my buttons, babe ♪
-Work it, Dimarcus!
-Whoo! Yeah!
-Pop it! Squeeze it!
-What? Come on.
No, you guys, I'm serious.
You're both
so naturally beautiful.
You just need to wear
more makeup.
Krystal being on our team
really makes a difference.
It's like we're important,
you know?
We're not just, like,
a bunch of losers
or or criminals and stuff.
[ankle monitor vibrates]
Look, am I upset
about losing Krystal?
Krystal who?
Yes?
Not you.
[chuckles]
Okay, I got six girls
who could be flyers right now.
Heck, back in the day,
I made Nationals.
Maybe if, uh, you beg,
I'll show you my herkie.
Ready? Okay.
[grunts]
[dramatic music]
I thought it was only
supposed to be a few people.
I put it on my socials.
Are you [bleep] kidding me
right now, Krystal?
Like I don't have enough
to be worried about.
Y'all, come here to me.
Let's gather round.
Come on. Hands in!
You heard her!
-Thank you, Steven.
-Yep.
Y'all remind me
of my first teams
and why I started coaching
in the first place.
I mean, cheer is so much more
than just being on a team.
It's being a part of a family.
All: Happy day
after your birthday ♪
To you ♪
Y'all.
And for some of these kids,
it's the only family they have.
I never won a championship
as a cheerleader myself.
And maybe if I would have
had somebody to build me up,
I would have.
But I wouldn't be the coach
that I am today.
Happy day
after your birth ♪
-We did it. We did it.
-We did do that.
-I'm so sorry, y'all.
-That's okay.
School name on three.
-Mm-hmm.
One, two, three.
-Heedleston!
-Hiddlestone!
Headleton.
Is that what it is? Okay.
Y'all ready for this?
And now
your Button Cheer Team!
[2 Unlimited's
"Get Ready for This" playing]
Yeah!
♪♪
[cheering]
-Krystal!
♪♪
One, two, three, four!
All: Five, six, seven, eight!
Roll, let's roll!
Are you ready?
You got my buds, like, whoa ♪
Every time you step
through the door ♪
♪♪
You gotta run it, baby,
run it ♪
Run it, baby, run it ♪
Run it, baby, run it ♪
Run it, baby, run it ♪
Hands in the air,
hands in the air ♪
I'ma make you understand,
I'm a leader, yes, I am ♪
I'm the best ♪
That's what I'm talking about!
♪♪
We're came to get it, get it ♪
We hope you rock with it ♪
We're came to get it, get it ♪
[ankle monitor vibrates]
[cheering]
This moment is bigger
than you can handle ♪
[cheers and applause]
This is the moment
you surrender ♪
[cheers and applause]
-We love you, Krystal!
Yes! Yes!
Can they make it to Daytona?
We can! We will!
[crunch, Krystal screams]
-What happened?
-Oh!
Dimarcus, where were you?
[wailing] Why?
[audience murmuring]
We might. [chuckles]
All right, y'all,
let's see that pyramid.
Y'all gonna have to hit zero
you want to compete at Daytona.
Coaching college cheer
has been my life's work.
I am currently
one championship shy
of being the winningest coach
in college cheer history.
Can I win the title?
I can. I will. I must.
I have put together the finest,
the most athletic,
the most disciplined teams
to ever take the mat.
No, no, no! No, no! Oh!
[groaning, shouting]
Oh, this is not them.
Apateu, apateu ♪
Apateu, apateu ♪
Apateu, apateu ♪
Uh, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
Kissy face, kissy face,
sent to your phone ♪
But I'm tryin' to kiss
your lips for real ♪
Uh-huh, uh-huh, ♪
Red hearts, red hearts,
that's what I'm on, yeah ♪
Come give me
something I can ♪
This is my 14th in a row for
Sammy Davis Sr. Junior College.
And that ties me with
my former coach, Marg Harberg.
Yep, there she is right there.
She's my inspiration.
What a monster.
Lord, Marg used to just
really scream at me
and say very mean things
about my legs.
And that did not make me
a better cheerleader.
But it did make me
a better coach
'cause I build my athletes up
I don't tear them down.
[mischievous music]
[door opens] [gasps]
There he is, Dean Martin.
Hey, this is the camera crew
that's following me
as I pursue
my 15th championship.
-Oh, hello.
-[giggles]
Listen, I was sent
a disturbing
Speak up, honey.
If it's not interesting,
they'll cut it out.
Y'all will cut it out, yeah?
I was sent
a disturbing video of you
at your team's victory party.
[upbeat music playing, cheering]
And the award
for best booty goes to
Dean Martin, I don't know
who took that.
You shouldn't be drinking
with your team.
And you certainly shouldn't be
body-shaming your cheerleaders.
I would have killed to win
best booty back in my day.
I'm a mama bear for my team,
and you know that.
He knows that. [scoffs]
So I have been asked
to be fired.
All: What?
-I can't believe it.
All right, come on,
there's no crying in cheer.
Why?
Move.
[tearfully] Why?
Tammy, I need you
to be strong right now.
I'm trying.
[high-pitched baby voice]
This is [bleep].
I say if Courteney leaves,
we all leave.
-Yeah.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.
No one's leaving.
Well, I am.
-Right.
And in the meantime, our
best assistant coach, Tammy,
is going to be taking over.
Uh
-Yeah.
-No!
Like, no!
-Tammy.
[sobbing]
No!
Excuse me, Coach "Is-tiny?"
Oh, first of all,
it's pronounced "Is-tan-ey."
[chuckles] Second of all,
which is really first of all,
I'm still
Assistant Coach Istiny.
-Will you step up?
-You know, of course.
If I'm asked to be head coach,
I will, reluctantly.
No, I mean step up
so we can see you.
Oh. [chuckles]
[chuckles] Can we start over?
I mean, can you
believe that, Boon E.?
I'm a scandal
because of that dumb videotape.
I got a good mind
to get a job at a school
that appreciates what I do.
And then
-Okay, time-out, Coach, okay?
Or I'm going to have to call
flag on the play.
You have not taken a day
to yourself in 20 years.
You think maybe things happen
for a reason?
Maybe take a little you time
for once in your life?
Maybe even start
a little team of our own.
Coach and I were
high-school sweethearts.
And I got a scholarship
to QB Texas Tech.
But the Lord had other plans.
[crunch] [groans]
Ball's out! Whoo-hoo!
Yeah, after I woke up
and learned to, um
oh, what's the word?
Talk again, I asked Courteney
to marry me.
And I got a job
coaching football
at Sammy Davis Sr.
Junior College,
and she coached cheer.
Hey, did I tell y'all
about my head injury?
I just can't have my legacy be
some best booty award, you know?
Mm-hmm.
You let me win one more
championship, all right?
And then I'll go out on top.
And then I will retire.
-Mm-hmm.
Hey, this time, I promise.
You being for real right now?
I'm dead ass.
That's what the kids say.
Well, okay, then.
But I think you should
strategize, you know?
Don't just run and gun, okay?
You got to see
what you're lined up against.
Fourth quarter
[cell phone vibrates.]
You're down by 6,
but there's a lot of game left.
-I got a job interview.
-That's a touchdown.
Small junior college
in Oklahoma, 80 miles away.
That's, what, 50 minutes
by pickup truck?
Easy.
Wait, what's the name
of this college?
Ha Hell
-Hale
-Hay
Heya
Headltston,
home to the world-famous
"Heedlestown"
Candy Button Factory
and Candy Button Factory
Gift Shop & Museum.
Open every day,
except Christmas and Tuesday.
Paid for by the
"Haddlestone" Tourism Bureau.
There's an awful lot
of cheerleading on here.
Isn't that what the job is?
No, it's a typing teacher
who does also happen to be
a cheerleading coach.
I don't see words per minute
on here.
Candy button?
-No, thank you.
-You sure?
I'm going to level with you,
President Nitwick.
I need to win
a championship this year.
I can. I will. I must.
And when we do,
I can bring in enough money
to get you a truckload
of those candy buttons.
[crunching]
I'm officially a member
of the faculty
at Hya Haroldst
whatever the name
of this place is.
Whoo!
Now, in order to qualify
for the Nationals at Daytona,
I've got to get a team
to cheer camp
almost six weeks
from today, okay?
The day before that is
something called a show-off,
where you show off your routine.
Oh, that's my birthday
right there.
[chuckles] I don't really care
much about it.
You know what, though?
I will I will draw a little
party hat and a little cake,
just so we don't forget.
Oh, shoot.
I'm drawing that cat
I know how to do.
Are we supposed
to be typing that or?
[typewriter bell dings]
What I really need to do now
is put together a new team.
I'm starting at the top
of the pyramid Krystal.
God, she's my star flyer.
I mean, I discovered her.
I turned her
into a cheer-lebrity.
Let's just say she owes me.
-[screams]
-[shushing]
What are you doing here?
Okay, we've got to keep this
on the down-low.
Remember how you said if I left,
you would also leave?
-Yes.
Even though this is my
third and final senior year
at a two-year college,
making it the most important
year of my life,
I will follow you anywhere.
Okay, I'm starting
a new program at a tiny school
with an unpronounceable name.
And I want to build that
program around you, okay?
You're my star flyer, Krystal.
What do you say?
[giggles] I say no.
But thank you.
Go get them!
[upbeat music playing in gym]
♪♪
[door closes]
Um
can y'all just give me some
privacy, just for a minute?
I'm sorry. Thank you.
Mother[bleep]
in the [bleep] ass[bleep]!
You're okay.
Rat [bleep].
Courteney, language.
[bleep] Dale Earnhardt! [groans]
All right, you're calming down.
[in gym] You not on my level ♪
You not the baddest ♪
It's actually fine
about Krystal.
At my last tryout at
Sammy Davis Sr. Junior College,
I had 75 people show up.
I only need to take 10.
Ooh, it's gon' be a big day.
[laughs]
[snoring]
[sniffing]
Do y'all smell that?
Hey, hon, it's me.
Oh, Courteney, you're alive.
I feared the worst.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
But how's the team doing?
Terrible.
Like me, we're all puddles.
[slurps]
Oh, I got a brain freeze.
I was just wondering if you
had any extra cheerleaders?
They locked me
out of the system.
Oh. Oh, no.
I'm not near my computer
right now.
Coach Istiny, picture's up
on the jumbotron.
[slurps]
Day one was a little slower
than I had hoped.
But I did find
that mystery smell.
So I'm going to count
today as a win.
[door opens, closes]
Can I help you?
Yeah, I'm
the Headltston cheer squad.
-Just you?
-Mm-hmm.
All right. Okay.
Well, let's see what you can do.
Okay.
Hey, hey, are you ready to play?
Say "go, team"!
-Okay.
When I say "Headle,"
you say "what"?
Heedle, what? Heidle, what?
Uh, I'm going to stop
you right there.
Honey, it is so good.
I love your energy.
Thank you.
A lot of vitality,
and I love that.
But I'm looking
for tumblers and stumblers,
like real gymnast-type
stuff, so
Hold my pom-poms.
Cue music, please.
[Megan Thee Stallion's
"Girls in the Hood" playing]
Being good, I'm a bad B ♪
I'm sick of mother[] ♪
Tryin' to tell me
how to live ♪
Wack, wack hate under
my pictures on the Gram ♪
You better hope I never run
across your man ♪
In the mall with him ♪
[music stops]
Sweetheart, you are
a force of nature.
Have you ever competed before?
-No.
For some reason,
no one ever gave me the the
[groans]
Oh, yeah, I have narcolepsy.
[whispering]
Are you dead or sleeping?
And you lay 'em out.
You hear me?
-Hey, Coach.
-Hey, baby.
How was first day of tryouts?
I had a narcoleptic tumbler
and a dead mama possum.
They both made the team.
-Aw, come here.
-No, no, no.
Don't "aw" me. Don't "aw" me.
I'm fine. I'm great.
You know, I'd be more worried
if I didn't just have the worst
two days of my career, yeah?
Which means big things
are gon' happen.
Throw it. Throw it.
What in the hell is he doing?
[whistle blows]
Dimarcus.
-Whoo-hoo!
Dimarcus leads our team
in rushing yards,
as well as unsportsmanlike
conduct penalties.
Yeah, it's me!
Ha!
You know, he's he's just
[grunting]
He's an [bleep].
He's a straight-up [bleep].
You got ten other men
out on the field.
You cannot do everything
by yourself!
-I just did.
-Not on my team, young man.
Fine.
Then I quit.
All ri Dimarcus let's not do
this again.
Come on. No, stay in those pads.
One of these days, Dimarcus,
I ain't gonna take you back.
Don't five him.
Nobody fives him!
No, no, mama.
Mama, don't do it.
-I know.
But it looks like
you're doing it anyway.
I'm not.
Dimarcus!
He's just gonna break
your heart.
-I know.
-Tell you what.
I never do get tired of
watching her run away from me.
Mm.
Dimarcus, you dropped something.
I don't need it.
I said I quit.
-Good.
'Cause I want you to cheer
for me at my new school.
Nah.
See, Dimarcus doesn't cheer
for other people.
It seems like Dimarcus
don't play football either.
I'm giving you the opportunity
to dance, flip,
toss girls in the air, and get
all the attention you want
without pissing people off.
Sounds to me like
it'd be perfect for you.
You don't know me.
Damn, that's my dream.
What do I have to do?
-You can't quit.
And, remember,
there's no "I" in cheer.
But there is a "he."
[clears throat]
I'm still right here, doll.
[upbeat music]
I currently have
six cheerleaders
Dimarcus, Madonna, and four
that I found on TikTok
Smack it up, flip it up ♪
Who were kicked off their
team for being inappropriate.
Rub it down to the ground ♪
I'm just gonna get 'em
some full-coverage underwear.
They'll be fine.
But what I really need
is a veteran.
And Steven was one of
my best bases back in the day.
He left school his fourth
sophomore year, I think.
Uh, but since there's
no age limit at junior college,
I-I'm gonna see what he's up to.
[on PA] Steven Vaughn,
please come to the front.
Hey.
Coach.
-Steven?
-[chuckles]
You got
to be a grown man!
-Uh, yeah, I mean, it's
-Didn't you?
Oh, my goodness.
It's been 16 years.
Gosh, yeah.
And I'm on track for management.
-Oh, good, honey, good.
-Yeah.
[sighs] I really love it here.
Oh, because
I'm putting together a team.
That's why I came by.
And since you never
technically graduated
I'll do it.
Hey, everyone. [bleep]. I quit.
Let's do this.
Whoo!
-There he goes.
All right!
Still got it.
Okay, still going.
-Coming through!
Cheer was the best part
of my life.
Courteney straightened me out.
She gave me the confidence
that I could be something.
And, unfortunately,
I took that confidence,
and I quit cheer
to pursue a career
in car rentals,
which ended up being
the worst mistake I ever made.
Well, that and getting
a meth head pregnant, yeah.
I have less than two weeks
to find three cheerleaders
and teach them a new routine.
And I got typing papers
to grade.
Jesus, be a light unto my feet
and a lamp unto my path.
Hey!
Get on up out of there! Shoo!
[engine revs, tires screech]
[horn honks]
Oh, my God.
Come back!
I can't run in these jeans.
[whistles]
Cheer for me.
-What?
I want you
on my college cheer team.
You are the best
natural athlete I've ever seen.
Come and cheer for me.
What if I don't want to?
I can show this video
to the cops,
get you a different
kind of future.
What's your name, young lady?
Peaches.
That's so sweet.
I got the nickname when
I bashed this girl in the head
with a can of cling peaches,
and it stuck
the peaches and the name.
Let's get started.
We got a lot to do today.
Has anybody seen my iPad?
I left it right over here
[door opens, closes]
Nobody?
-Hi.
Uh, I am here for cheer tryouts.
This is from five weeks ago.
Oh, gosh. Sorry.
Uh, things have been
kind of crazy
[laughs]
Between classes and my job.
Plus, I just turned 18.
So my foster parents
kicked me out,
which was fine because they
were just starting to love me.
[laughs]
-Honey, are you okay?
Yeah.
Why?
To be clear, Sally
is not a great cheerleader.
But there is no way that
she is not making this team,
not with that life.
[people murmur]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby, whoa.
[applause, Sally laughs]
I'm probably going
to end up adopting her.
[chanting] And one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.
Dimarcus, focus.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Peaches, try to smile, babe.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Sally, you're okay, honey.
Are they perfect? No.
Are they good?
I wouldn't say so.
But I think they have
what it takes.
They have to be able
to trust you out there.
-Fine, here.
-And I'm talking
How long have you had these?
-Just, like, 30 minutes.
-[screams]
-Whoa! Okay
[body thuds]
Sally, are you okay?
Dimarcus, she is not a football.
If she was,
he wouldn't throw her.
Okay, Sleeping Beauty,
what's up?
What you want to do?
-Oh, where you going, cupcake?
-Then turn it up, then.
-I can go all night.
Hey, cut it out!
Y'all need to work as a team.
We don't have time to be dealing
with this kind of nonsense.
Am I frustrated?
Yeah, yeah, a teeny bit.
Repeat it back to me.
-We don't have time for this.
And you need to work
you need to work as a team.
Steven, let me handle this.
We need to work as a team.
Work together as a team.
Did you hear me say
not another word, Steven?
It feels like what used
to be the easy part
is now the hard part,
and the hard part
hasn't even happened yet.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[all groaning]
-[bleep].
[indistinct shouting]
Hey. Hey, hey.
Knock it off, knock it off!
Y'all can't even throw
a simple pyramid.
How you gonna compete
at Daytona, huh?
Where are you going, Dimarcus?
Oh, are you gonna quit
like you quit everything?
I'm just getting my shoe.
[sniffles]
Pra uh, practice is over.
Please get out of my way.
-Coach, where you going?
[crying] I'm going
wherever people go in this town
on their birthday.
The Candy Button Factory,
open every day,
except Christmas and Tuesday.
[whispering] Who wants
to tell her it's Tuesday?
[door opens, toilet flushing]
Baby, you're not
in your birthday suit.
What Oh, [bleep]!
[whispering] Sorry.
That was a freebie.
I had the worst day.
Oh, baby.
Honey, I blew up at my team.
Can I give you the "aw" now?
-Yeah.
-Aw.
That's too much.
[sighs]
That's better.
Look, look at how good
my old team was.
Mm-hmm.
They didn't start out
like this, though.
Remember that one kid
who ate batteries for money?
You used to call him
a busted can of biscuits.
What was his name?
-Steven.
He's my base now.
All right.
I do remember
that first team, though.
Lord, I had no idea
what I was doing.
You get mad at them when
they didn't make it to Daytona?
Heck, no, I was trying
to make sure nobody died.
Two years later you won
your first championship.
Do what you did then.
Well, I can't.
I know too much now.
You can't forget
what you already know.
I did.
[crunch] [groans]
You sure did.
What you got to do is you
got to be that feisty girl
that thinks outside the box.
And I know you can do it.
-Thank you, Coach.
-You're welcome, Coach.
I see you looking
at my zit patch.
Mm.
I'm still feisty, by the way.
-Time to go, fellas.
-Oh?
Come on, now, that's your cue.
Don't let the door kiss you,
'cause I'm gonna go kiss her.
I am so sorry for the way
that I acted yesterday.
It is my job to get you all
to Daytona, yeah?
And I'm going to do
everything in my power
to make that happen.
-[exhales sharply]
Yeah, you will.
When I say "Headle,"
you say "what"?
Heidle, what? Heidle, what?
Oh, there she goes.
No, just let's let her rest.
Let's let her rest.
I don't want to be
that person, but, I mean,
we're still one short
of even qualifying for Daytona.
Oh, gosh, okay,
so I would ask my sister,
but she passed away.
Oh, okay.
Okay. Um, it's true, yeah.
We are still one away,
but we can.
[door opens]
We all: Will.
-We
-Hello!
Krystal, what
are you doing here?
I've decided to bring
my skills and cheer-lebrity
to Heedletown
to help you all win
the National Championship
at Daytona!
I did tell Krystal that
this documentary is about her.
And that's thinking
outside the box. [laughs]
I'm tellin' you to loosen
up my buttons, babe ♪
-Work it, Dimarcus!
-Whoo! Yeah!
-Pop it! Squeeze it!
-What? Come on.
No, you guys, I'm serious.
You're both
so naturally beautiful.
You just need to wear
more makeup.
Krystal being on our team
really makes a difference.
It's like we're important,
you know?
We're not just, like,
a bunch of losers
or or criminals and stuff.
[ankle monitor vibrates]
Look, am I upset
about losing Krystal?
Krystal who?
Yes?
Not you.
[chuckles]
Okay, I got six girls
who could be flyers right now.
Heck, back in the day,
I made Nationals.
Maybe if, uh, you beg,
I'll show you my herkie.
Ready? Okay.
[grunts]
[dramatic music]
I thought it was only
supposed to be a few people.
I put it on my socials.
Are you [bleep] kidding me
right now, Krystal?
Like I don't have enough
to be worried about.
Y'all, come here to me.
Let's gather round.
Come on. Hands in!
You heard her!
-Thank you, Steven.
-Yep.
Y'all remind me
of my first teams
and why I started coaching
in the first place.
I mean, cheer is so much more
than just being on a team.
It's being a part of a family.
All: Happy day
after your birthday ♪
To you ♪
Y'all.
And for some of these kids,
it's the only family they have.
I never won a championship
as a cheerleader myself.
And maybe if I would have
had somebody to build me up,
I would have.
But I wouldn't be the coach
that I am today.
Happy day
after your birth ♪
-We did it. We did it.
-We did do that.
-I'm so sorry, y'all.
-That's okay.
School name on three.
-Mm-hmm.
One, two, three.
-Heedleston!
-Hiddlestone!
Headleton.
Is that what it is? Okay.
Y'all ready for this?
And now
your Button Cheer Team!
[2 Unlimited's
"Get Ready for This" playing]
Yeah!
♪♪
[cheering]
-Krystal!
♪♪
One, two, three, four!
All: Five, six, seven, eight!
Roll, let's roll!
Are you ready?
You got my buds, like, whoa ♪
Every time you step
through the door ♪
♪♪
You gotta run it, baby,
run it ♪
Run it, baby, run it ♪
Run it, baby, run it ♪
Run it, baby, run it ♪
Hands in the air,
hands in the air ♪
I'ma make you understand,
I'm a leader, yes, I am ♪
I'm the best ♪
That's what I'm talking about!
♪♪
We're came to get it, get it ♪
We hope you rock with it ♪
We're came to get it, get it ♪
[ankle monitor vibrates]
[cheering]
This moment is bigger
than you can handle ♪
[cheers and applause]
This is the moment
you surrender ♪
[cheers and applause]
-We love you, Krystal!
Yes! Yes!
Can they make it to Daytona?
We can! We will!
[crunch, Krystal screams]
-What happened?
-Oh!
Dimarcus, where were you?
[wailing] Why?
[audience murmuring]
We might. [chuckles]