The Airport Chaplain (2026) s01e01 Episode Script

1
Terminal 2. OK. Got it.
Heading there now.
Change room's opposite the chemist.
Flight VR724 to
Abu Dhabi is now departing gate 17.
Hey!
Slow down, mate.
Oi!
Stop right now!
There you go, my friend.
Get yourself a feed.
Hey!
Auckland's landed now, AT12.
And RE52's landed.
Scan for unattended luggage,
gates 12 to 17.
Copy that.
- Can't see anything, Ziv.
- We have a Code Bravo, over.
Need you in International.
Ziv's hit the panic button.
International?
Yep, I'm heading there now.
Stop right now!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Mate, we got this.
- Er, give me a minute, will you, Ziv?
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
Just breathe.
That's the way.
Um you speak English?
- Jugete perdido.
- Perdido.
Ask him for his passport
and his boarding pass.
Hold on a minute, mate.
I think he's lost.
Perdido?
No estoy perdido. Mi hermana
perdio su conejo de juguete.
Mate, this is a security issue,
not a language lesson.
Ah! Er, donde?
- Creo que en el cafe.
- El cafe?
Er, about 30 minutes ago.
You know, it's at least three
hours before anything arrives here.
Yeah, but
Also, you still haven't returned
my noise-cancelling headphones.
Yeah, hang up.
Tobias, I can't right now, man.
The Buenos Aires flight today
is causing chaos. It's crazy.
- Can you try the parents' room?
- Dude, are you serious?
The Shanghai flight's been circling
for, like, 30 minutes
because of you.
But Hang on, hang on.
There you are.
Person of interest located.
Cleaner's trolley outside the prayer
room with a broom up its arse.
You're welcome.
Hey! What are you doing?
Don't touch my trolley!
Long story, Connie!
I'll get rid of these.
Johnny, Johnny,
I need to get through.
- Through the scanner, please.
- No, he's fine.
Flight AT37 to Buenos
Aires is now closing.
Please make your way
to Gate 26 immediately.
Here they are. Don’t worry.
Hurry! Hurry!
What the hell were you thinking?
- Bunny!
- The plane was going to leave.
Buenos Aires can’t wait much longer.
And if the plane had left?
Let’s go.
Flight AT37 to Buenos Aires
is now closed.
Excuse me?
Where can I fill my water bottle?
Um, there's a tap
right through there.
Thanks.
- Yes, sir?
- My wife needs a wheelchair.
Some glad morning
when this life is o'er ♪
I'll fly away ♪
To a home on God's celestial shore ♪
I'll fly away ♪
You rebooking our flights?
I said,
are you rebooking our flights?
I'm very happy to once I receive
your assistance dog paperwork.
Isn't that discrimination?
No, that's the law.
You know, Mr Collins would've
easily fit under the seat in front.
If his legs were amputated.
Now that
that is not very Christian of you.
I take it
you haven't read Leviticus, then?
Ah.
Is she your wife? She's pretty.
What does she do?
She, um
She works in youth services.
So there's absolutely no one
who can look after Mr Collins
while you go on holiday?
The holiday is for Mr Collins.
Yeah, of course it's for Mr Collins.
- Knock, knock.
- Rog.
I'm just saying my farewells.
I feel like a scapegoat, mate.
I mean, how is one terminal manager
responsible
for airport rankings crashing?
But hey, you know,
you gotta let the ceiling fall in,
or whatever it needs to do.
Well, at least you get to spend
more time at home with the family.
Oh, there's the last place
I want to be.
Three adult kids living at home and
a wife who's either hot or angry.
Yeah. Time's up, boomers.
Um, listen, mate,
I gave you pretty free rein,
but the new TM, um,
Mira something-or-other,
she might interpret
some of your pastoral care as
crossing the line.
One hundred percent.
Optics on this, not great.
Yep.
Um, sorry, Rog. DBA.
Yeah, I'll see you at the send-off.
There's a bar tab at O'Leary's.
Yeah? Cool.
Now, don't touch anything.
Yep, be right with you.
Shaolong and Alex Zhang,
father and son,
both Australian citizens
coming home on AT56 from Shanghai.
The deceased is in his mid-60s.
And the plane's been delayed
so crew members,
some of them are quite distressed.
At work. I can't talk.
The cooking time the cooking time
was from frozen. Mum!
If I come home
and the frickin' oven is looking
like something from Pompeii,
I will take the TV remote off you
for a year.
If I evict my mum,
do you think I'll go to hell?
No.
But she'll probably claim
elder abuse.
She totally will!
Viv, use your knees.
Jack, outside!
Z-H-A-N-G. Zhang.
No, I can't hear you, Chap. I can't.
Nuala, I said belt cinque.
We have a dead body on arrival.
I need to get the son
through customs fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.
You know that Roger the Dodger still
hasn't fixed my fan, don't you?
- Roger's been made redundant.
- Well, thank fucking Christ for that.
I'm not sure Christ
was on the executive committee, Lex.
- Can you isolate their bags for me?
- No, I can't do that, Chap.
Sergei's just done his back.
And you know that Barney crashed
There's bags all over the tarmac.
Sorry, Lex, can't hear you.
I'll text you through the details.
No, no, no, don't. Don't
Yes, Chaplain. No, Chaplain.
Two bloody bags, Chaplain.
Not there! No! No, no, no!
No, no,
we need them both to bid
so just keep Wilson Street
on the lowdown.
Alex?
Call me back
if they're not going to play ball.
Tobias Wallace, airport chaplain.
Please accept my condolences
for your father's death.
I'm here to help
in any way that I can.
Right.
Now, once the coroner
has given us clearance,
Mr Zhang will need to be transported
to a funeral home.
I don't suppose you have one in mind?
- Oh, um
- No, no. That's OK.
I can help arrange that if you like.
Er, sorry. Work.
Were you and your father close?
Not really.
Were you in Shanghai on holiday
or?
Work trip. Family business.
Would you like me to say a prayer
for him?
- We're Buddhist.
- Not a problem.
Namo Ratna Trayaya.
- Namah Arya Avalokites
- Is that your first language?
Um, well, no, it's I mean, it's
Sorry, mate.
The flight was circling for ages.
The plane to Buenos Aires
couldn't leave, apparently.
You'd think they'd prioritise
a medical emergency.
No. No, not at this stage.
Yeah.
Mm-hm.
Yep. Yep, just speak to Mahoud.
Hey, can you look into something
for me?
Hey. Oh, you dropped it.
The manifest for AT56 from Shanghai.
Yep. I just want to ascertain
the time of death.
No, I'm not authorised.
OK, thanks.
- Hey, Tobias.
- Hey, Johnny.
Er, this old Bulgarian fella
had them in his hand luggage.
Says he needs to take them
for his prostate, so
My prostate is terrific,
thanks, Johnny.
Anyway, aren't we supposed
to destroy confiscated items?
Er, yeah, but outgoing
isn't a biosecurity risk.
Mr Collins is not a biosecurity risk
so why wasn't he let through?
Hm?
Right, I have a quote here
for animal freight,
not including the crate, for $2,467.
Two thousand
How am I supposed to afford that,
huh?
I'm on unpaid stress leave.
Well, we're down to two options,
Nino.
Either you and Mr Collins go home
or Mr Collins goes in the hold.
Why is he called Mr Collins?
After my dad.
Gave him to me.
Right before he died of cancer.
Sorry. Sorry, man.
Look, I might be able to help you
with the crate.
Sami?
Yep, OK. No, no.
I'll be right with you.
Oh Take
Can I have a prune?
Sure. Yeah.
Sami.
What's up?
Well, busy day for the prayer room,
as you can see.
Hey, so this new TM wants us
to report all security incidents
and any terminal disruptions
directly to her.
- Right?
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
I think she's been briefed
to be hypervigilant
after Roger's hedge trimmer incident
lost us
the Continental Air contract.
Anyhoos, um, I have noticed that you
actually breached the security
Sorry.
Sami, can you bring up carousel five?
Who's that?
- Alex Zhang. Sorry.
- Wait, Tobias there's the breach.
Kills me.
No, the body shouldn't
go to the funeral home.
Well, his son made a mistake.
Well, because he was in shock.
Yeah.
Well, I know it's not protocol,
but it's cultural tradition.
Yeah, he's with me now.
Airport chaplain.
Thank you.
- Do you want me to?
- Oh, no, mate.
I'd lose my mother as well if she
heard you butchering the Abhidhamma.
Thank you.
- O genki desu ka?
- O genki desu ka?
- How are you?
- How are you?
- O genki desu ka?
- O genki desu ka?
How are you?
- Are you OK?
- Are you OK?
- Daijoubu desu ka?
- Daijoubu desu ka?
- Are you OK?
- Are you OK?
- Toire wa dokodesu ka?
- Toire wa dokodesu ka?
- Where is the toilet?
- Where is the toilet?
Hi. It's, um
Um, just wanted to see how you are.
Um, no need to call me back unless
unless you want to.
Um
OK. Bye.
Oh, it's Dad.
Dear Lord, I'm ever grateful
for your grace and mercy.
Forgive me my failings.
And watch over my colleagues
and my family.
Amen.
That's what happens
when the public service
stops being accountable.
Coming up, we have Sian Collins
talking about
her tax-free commission
for the South Australian
for the South Australian
What's the scoop
on the new TM then?
Apparently,
when she was at Hong Kong airport,
she replaced the cleaning staff
with robots.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
One more. Jeez!
You know, they did that same thing
in Denver.
- They used, um, robot cranes.
- Oh, really?
How did it turn out?
Turned into a fucking horror movie,
is how it turned out.
Morning, Lex. Morning, Connie.
You're in for footy tipping
this year?
Absolutely, Connie. Count me in.
Come on the Pies!
You need to do something
about that prayer room.
People get aggressive
when they can't pray.
- Yeah, I know, I do.
- Yeah? Who do you pray to?
The god of the air.
The god of the sea.
The god of the ciggy.
Oh!
Oh, fuck!
Oh, my God! You will not
believe what I just saw!
Oat milk, two sugar.
You got a tub for dog stuff?
Row C. Canine.
Third tub on the left.
The other left.
Come on! Come, come.
Good boy! Who's a good boy? Come on!
Good boy! Who's a good boy?
OK, you're off to Cairns.
Beautiful this time of year.
We're actually going
to Port Douglas.
Oh, nice! You getting the bus up?
Nah. My dad's picking us up
from the airport.
I'll catch you, T.
Come, come!
That's not carry on. That won't fit.
Come, come!
OK.
- TM's not giving up.
- Good luck.
Next, please.
Come on in. Toby, right?
- Mira Ansari-Cole.
- Tobias Wallace, airport chaplain.
Lovely to meet you, Mira.
Oh.
That's so tacky, isn't it?
I think the cleaner left it for me.
You're a hard man to catch.
Yes. I'm sorry about yesterday.
I had some rather pressing
pastoral care duties.
Yes, the dead body on arrival.
Thankfully, not a death
in Australian airspace.
- It wasn't?
- No.
Mr Zhang died
an hour out of Shanghai
- according to the flight manifest.
- Oh, that's great.
I mean
it's not great, obviously,
but, er
How would you describe
your role here, Tobias?
Oh, well, er,
a pretty broad-ranging,
but primarily providing emotional,
spiritual, and practical support
for passengers but also for staff.
I mean, if you, for example, ever
were ever in need of a
Thank you.
Sorry, are you a Christian chaplain?
I do have a personal faith, yes,
but the job is all faith inclusive.
Right.
Look, moving forward, I would love
for you to submit a daily report.
I don't think you'd
like to read every detail of my day.
The devil is in the detail,
is it not, Tobias?
Ah, well, there is some contention
over where exactly the devil resides.
What happened yesterday
was a serious security breach.
Er, that is a stuffed toy.
There could have been a knife
inside it.
A bomb.
That stuffed toy could have caused
an international incident.
But it didn't.
Sorry, I have to take this.
Yeah?
I need you to come
to the prayer room now.
Someone has locked themselves
in there.
- Come now!
- Yeah, OK. No, I'll be right there.
- Emergency.
- I'll call the AFP.
Oh, no, it's more of a spiritual
emergency. Chaplain's remit.
- Connie?
- She's stolen personal property.
Hi.
I'm Tobias, the airport chaplain.
I'm here to help you.
It's OK, really.
No one's gonna hurt you.