The Animals of Farthing Wood (1993) s01e01 Episode Script
The Wood in Danger
How many worked?
Well, ones that were worth summed up.
Ah, dammit!
I'm sure I must be nearly there.
Yes, this is it.
This is my place.
If I can just keep going a little bit longer, I'll soon be home and dry.
I'm going to be home and dry.
Look at this place.
Just look at it, weasel.
Doesn't get any better.
I don't know what you're laughing at.
How many more homes will we lost today, Owl?
Half a dozen semi-detached burrows, three fully furnished squirrel holes,
and at least 15 immaculately kept nests.
Oh, 16.
Chopping away at us every day, still they're not satisfied.
Oh, don't look now.
There'll be on us any minute, any second.
Ah, our days are numbered.
Won't belong now, won't belong now, now that they've filled in the pond.
Not farving wood pond?
Correct.
Our last remaining watering hole.
Hard luck on the ducks.
But we're all right.
We've still got the stream.
Don't you mean the muddy trickle?
Dear Oak, dear.
Ah, you hear two foxes.
You're thought we'd wander down and
See the situation?
Yes, for ourselves.
Doesn't look too good, does it, old son?
And if those big rains don't come soon, then our outlooks
Dacy?
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Looks like we've got a bit of a problem.
And a major one at that.
Important enough to warrant an assembly, I reckon.
An assembly fox.
A get together.
For all the animals?
It's not a party weasel.
Isn't an assembly a bit drastic?
If this isn't drastic.
Exactly.
Then what is?
But a farthing wood assembly fox?
Why, we haven't had one of those in years.
There only ever call when there's an
Emergency?
An id call this an emergency.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Not to put too fine a point on it.
Without water, we animals of farthing wood are hardly likely to survive.
Here, here.
I mean, if you wouldn't call that an emergency, what would you call it?
Alice?
Very funny.
But if you don't mind my asking, what'll having some assembly achieve?
What can we mere animals do?
I'm not sure yet.
But I reckon that if you, me, am Badger and Weasel
can get every single member of our woodland community together,
fast, they may be.
One of us might come up with
A solution?
Clare the clogs!
Clare the clogs!
Box is absolutely right, you know everyone.
One just can't panic.
No, no, no.
One really has to roll up one's bed and do something.
And that's it.
Of course, persuading our not altogether harmonious population
to attend such an assembly will not be what you'd call easy.
However, I'm sure you'll sort it out, Badger.
Yeah, huh?
What? Who? Me?
Who better?
Well, that's awfully decent of you, Foxbeta.
I mean, after all, you know every one of us here about, Stungy.
Biggest busy body in the ward.
Shut up, Weasel.
And everybody knows you.
So?
Oh, absolutely, Fox.
Yeah, just leave them all the arrangements served to me.
That's my Badger.
You, I could rely on you.
Well, don't just stand there dithering as usual, Rabbit.
Off you go, and, um
And, anddon't panic.
And, uh, alert hair, of course.
And as for you, Hitcho Go Chepa,
just roll yourself up and, uh, roll yourself off and start looking for, uh, thethe nutes.
Ah!
Right, you, our Badger.
Sorry, Weasel.
Hm?
Mo?
Did you say Mo?
Well, you'll soon come scurrying once he hears all the commotion.
What are you going to tell, On Badger?
Tell him?
Tell everyone where to meet at, ummy place.
You're set!
And what is wrong with my set Weasel?
Oh, nothing, Badger.
Nothing at all.
I only
Get to the point, Weasel.
Well, it's all right for you and me, and the shrews and the field mice.
We're creatures of the underground, right?
We're used to it.
Only
Only what?
The birds ain't gonna like it, Mo.
The birds ain't gonna like it much, are they, Badger?
Imagine how early!
Ahahaha!
Anke's true.
They aren't gonna like it, are they?
Yes, we won't be for long.
And I'm sure they'll realise it's, um, in a good cause.
Okay.
Well, don't just stand around Weasel.
Make yourself useful.
Me?
Let's go and alert a few voles.
And so, Mrs. Moul, Fox and I,
are agreed that the situation we are facing is so severe,
as to merit a meeting.
What's he doing on about?
He's worried whether you're eating.
Oh, shut up.
We're having a meeting in my chambers.
I eat where I like.
A meeting at
Sunset.
And please, don't be late, Mrs. Moul.
And tell the others.
Bring your brothers.
And tell all the field mice.
And tell all the shrews.
Okey dokey.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Is there anyone at all we've forgotten, Weasel?
There is.
Yes?
Your friend and mine.
Oh, yes.
Hey!
Ah!
Make sure you impress upon her,
that we haven't called this meeting so she can gorge herself on everyone present.
You'll be lucky.
Now what you're doing, Badger?
Why, enlarging my set, of course.
If a lot of woodlanders come this evening, you know Weasel.
So make yourself useful.
How, Badger?
Hmm. Why by collecting a few glowworms, of course.
You-hoo!
You-hoo!
Sounds like somebody's here already.
Oh, somehow I thought it might be you, Owl.
You're surely not expecting us to go down there, are you?
Yes.
Out of the question, won't get me down there.
Tau-chisou!
He who dwells in the soil, himself becomes soiled.
He who dwells in the light, shall find and know where to go.
And shall find enlightenment.
Owl, I know I can rely on you to set an example.
And I assure you that my home is quite spotless.
Well, if you put it that way.
Hmm.
One down and
Hello squirrels, just follow the nudes.
Oh, my God!
Follow the field by tears.
Follow the field by tears.
Not later, we better.
Only you know what the females are like.
Thanks a long to get ready, eh?
It's always my fault.
Of course.
Now, are we all here?
Not last, am I, Badger?
Well, somebody has to be at her.
Just follow the glow worms and don't eat.
Shucks!
I was looking forward to a few glow worms.
Now, listen everybody.
Someone's missing.
Oh, you know who.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Am I late for something, Badger?
You're always late for everything, Mo.
Now, friends, Adder and fellow woodlanders.
What's this all about?
Don't get on with it.
We need me to underline the gravity of our situation.
We're all aware that since the giant earth move has moved in,
life in farthing wood has become steadily more and more hazardous,
or one and all.
I'm still here.
First, they devastated our habitat.
Now, they've even filled in our pond.
It's still weaver.
Hang in there.
Not it, but unbound.
But is there any way out from this dilemma?
We're indeed, is the solution to our problems.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
I'm sure, for example, that no one here needs reminding.
At once upon a time, our farthing wood pond was home to 47 indigenous toads.
And where are they now?
We ask ourselves, what happened to the last?
Pompus puffed up toads.
Who was always so dear to us all?
Hold on, weasel. What's that?
I am holding on.
It appears to be.
Yes?
A foot.
I'm here, mateys. I'm coming.
Toad.
Your powers of deduction are admirable, Badger.
Ha ha! Same old alley.
Same old toad.
Hey, you're not here.
Same old toad.
You never thought you'd see me again, Amy, is?
We were so sad, you snuffed it.
Where have you been?
Where have I been more like?
Taken away against my will, weren't I?
Captivate, I were, and took off in a jam jar.
Er, but all the time I were away, I kept saying to myself,
Toad, you must get home.
It was the thought of you luck kept me going.
Fancy.
Must get back to my mateys or keep thinking.
Must get back to my
Pond.
Exactly.
Speaking of which, I'm afraid.
What?
There's some rather bad news, Toad.
It's your
Pond, Toad.
It's been filled in.
What?
You see, Toad, you have to understand
There have been a great many changes.
While you've been away.
But my Pond!
Gone completely, I'm afraid.
And the Newt's puddle.
And the stream.
Just a muddy trickle now.
Which is why we've called this assembly Toad.
Oh!
You never get to hold this meeting.
You see, we've got to face Fax Old Sun.
As a community, we're all but finished here.
Man, and his machines have seen to that.
Don't talk to me about those machines!
I know all about them!
In fact, it must be obvious to everyone here that
If we don't find a new watering hole within the next few days
Then we're going to be in the very worst kind of this stress.
If you know what I'm mean.
Could we try digging for water?
In earth as dry as a biscuit, don't be silly, Mole.
What about you, birds?
You get about a bit, don't you?
Got any idea where we could go?
Not really, Fax.
You see, big game birds, the wife and I don't venture out of the wood very much.
Always the day you're a big
Shot at, you see?
Quite.
I know, is a place that we could go to.
Woo!
Asked you!
It's a great little place.
A wonderful place.
Poor old Toad.
Obviously, rambling, poor fella.
Purpose built for animals like us.
Was it really Toad?
I calls it White Deer Park, Mole.
White Deer?
It is a nature of preserve.
Is it really?
It's a place where all wild creatures are protected by humans.
If such a place existed, I would know about it.
Did you come upon this dear White place on your travels, Toad?
That I did molly her.
Dear White Park, eh?
Hm.
White Deer Park.
Never heard of either of them.
Well, I know it well.
And nowhere is better, I reckon.
Well, Fax.
What do you think?
Have we any alternative?
Quite.
Then White Deer Park, it is everyone.
What?
All those in favour.
Hi.
Well done Toad.
We're going away, we're going away, we're going to White Deer Park.
We're going away, we're going away, we're going to White Deer Park.
We're not gonna stay.
And it's all gonna be a great luck.
Really just hang on a minute, you lot.
We're going away, we're going away, we're going to White Deer Park.
Excuse me.
Happens there's someone else here, as like to be
heard?
Typical hair.
Trust him to spoil things.
Well, hair, what is it?
We're all ears, hair.
Do I hear right, or do I not hear right?
Are you actually suggesting, Badger, that we travel to this ear?
White Deer Park?
To get that?
Of course here.
Naturally.
You mean vegetarians like us, alongside our natural enemies?
The carnivals?
Well
You're expecting us to accept having a fox along with us?
And a thing with claws?
Steady on her.
And as for that slimy, slithery, sneaky snake?
Did someone mention more?
It's eaten half our field-mouthed population already!
Yes, they're so tasty.
Hair's got a point, Badger.
Which is easily overcome.
How, Becca?
By the reintroduction of the ancient woodland bow.
And what the heck's that when it's a tom?
My late father remembered it when those men first started cutting down our trees
to build their little brick and glass boxes.
It was called the Oath of Mutual Protection.
Oath of Mutual Protection?
It's a promise, not to frighten.
Terrorize nor consume one another.
Not eat one another?
How's the snakes supposed to survive?
Quite.
So if you'll all please raise your right paw.
Or claw.
And repeat after me, I, name of animal.
I, name of animal.
No, I told, or of
I remember it.
Yes.
I feel a little solemnly swear.
Do solemnly swear?
Not to swallow anybody.
Not to swallow.
Except when nobody's looking.
While on route to this place of toes.
Toe will obviously be our guide on our journey.
And leader and just guide, I think Toad.
But Toad is right.
We will need a leader.
Someone we could look up to.
Someone cunning and courageous.
And preferably not a snake.
Joaking.
I therefore nominate Fox to be our leader.
Fox?
Huh?
Are you off your trolley?
Fox.
Thanks a bundle, Badger.
Fox?
Oh, hi, Fox.
No, no, no, no.
Fox has all the right qualities here.
He's an experienced traveler.
He eroses far and wide over all sorts of terrains.
And he's used to scavenging.
Oh, don't be like that, Owl.
We can't all be leader.
Now, I'm sure we all got lots of things to do before we leave.
And cleaning our fur coats.
No, just don't forget midnight.
We meet by the great beach of midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
How many worked?
Well, ones that were worth summed up.
Ah, dammit!
I'm sure I must be nearly there.
Yes, this is it.
This is my place.
If I can just keep going a little bit longer, I'll soon be home and dry.
I'm going to be home and dry.
Look at this place.
Just look at it, weasel.
Doesn't get any better.
I don't know what you're laughing at.
How many more homes will we lost today, Owl?
Half a dozen semi-detached burrows, three fully furnished squirrel holes,
and at least 15 immaculately kept nests.
Oh, 16.
Chopping away at us every day, still they're not satisfied.
Oh, don't look now.
There'll be on us any minute, any second.
Ah, our days are numbered.
Won't belong now, won't belong now, now that they've filled in the pond.
Not farving wood pond?
Correct.
Our last remaining watering hole.
Hard luck on the ducks.
But we're all right.
We've still got the stream.
Don't you mean the muddy trickle?
Dear Oak, dear.
Ah, you hear two foxes.
You're thought we'd wander down and
See the situation?
Yes, for ourselves.
Doesn't look too good, does it, old son?
And if those big rains don't come soon, then our outlooks
Dacy?
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Looks like we've got a bit of a problem.
And a major one at that.
Important enough to warrant an assembly, I reckon.
An assembly fox.
A get together.
For all the animals?
It's not a party weasel.
Isn't an assembly a bit drastic?
If this isn't drastic.
Exactly.
Then what is?
But a farthing wood assembly fox?
Why, we haven't had one of those in years.
There only ever call when there's an
Emergency?
An id call this an emergency.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
Not to put too fine a point on it.
Without water, we animals of farthing wood are hardly likely to survive.
Here, here.
I mean, if you wouldn't call that an emergency, what would you call it?
Alice?
Very funny.
But if you don't mind my asking, what'll having some assembly achieve?
What can we mere animals do?
I'm not sure yet.
But I reckon that if you, me, am Badger and Weasel
can get every single member of our woodland community together,
fast, they may be.
One of us might come up with
A solution?
Clare the clogs!
Clare the clogs!
Box is absolutely right, you know everyone.
One just can't panic.
No, no, no.
One really has to roll up one's bed and do something.
And that's it.
Of course, persuading our not altogether harmonious population
to attend such an assembly will not be what you'd call easy.
However, I'm sure you'll sort it out, Badger.
Yeah, huh?
What? Who? Me?
Who better?
Well, that's awfully decent of you, Foxbeta.
I mean, after all, you know every one of us here about, Stungy.
Biggest busy body in the ward.
Shut up, Weasel.
And everybody knows you.
So?
Oh, absolutely, Fox.
Yeah, just leave them all the arrangements served to me.
That's my Badger.
You, I could rely on you.
Well, don't just stand there dithering as usual, Rabbit.
Off you go, and, um
And, anddon't panic.
And, uh, alert hair, of course.
And as for you, Hitcho Go Chepa,
just roll yourself up and, uh, roll yourself off and start looking for, uh, thethe nutes.
Ah!
Right, you, our Badger.
Sorry, Weasel.
Hm?
Mo?
Did you say Mo?
Well, you'll soon come scurrying once he hears all the commotion.
What are you going to tell, On Badger?
Tell him?
Tell everyone where to meet at, ummy place.
You're set!
And what is wrong with my set Weasel?
Oh, nothing, Badger.
Nothing at all.
I only
Get to the point, Weasel.
Well, it's all right for you and me, and the shrews and the field mice.
We're creatures of the underground, right?
We're used to it.
Only
Only what?
The birds ain't gonna like it, Mo.
The birds ain't gonna like it much, are they, Badger?
Imagine how early!
Ahahaha!
Anke's true.
They aren't gonna like it, are they?
Yes, we won't be for long.
And I'm sure they'll realise it's, um, in a good cause.
Okay.
Well, don't just stand around Weasel.
Make yourself useful.
Me?
Let's go and alert a few voles.
And so, Mrs. Moul, Fox and I,
are agreed that the situation we are facing is so severe,
as to merit a meeting.
What's he doing on about?
He's worried whether you're eating.
Oh, shut up.
We're having a meeting in my chambers.
I eat where I like.
A meeting at
Sunset.
And please, don't be late, Mrs. Moul.
And tell the others.
Bring your brothers.
And tell all the field mice.
And tell all the shrews.
Okey dokey.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Sunset.
Is there anyone at all we've forgotten, Weasel?
There is.
Yes?
Your friend and mine.
Oh, yes.
Hey!
Ah!
Make sure you impress upon her,
that we haven't called this meeting so she can gorge herself on everyone present.
You'll be lucky.
Now what you're doing, Badger?
Why, enlarging my set, of course.
If a lot of woodlanders come this evening, you know Weasel.
So make yourself useful.
How, Badger?
Hmm. Why by collecting a few glowworms, of course.
You-hoo!
You-hoo!
Sounds like somebody's here already.
Oh, somehow I thought it might be you, Owl.
You're surely not expecting us to go down there, are you?
Yes.
Out of the question, won't get me down there.
Tau-chisou!
He who dwells in the soil, himself becomes soiled.
He who dwells in the light, shall find and know where to go.
And shall find enlightenment.
Owl, I know I can rely on you to set an example.
And I assure you that my home is quite spotless.
Well, if you put it that way.
Hmm.
One down and
Hello squirrels, just follow the nudes.
Oh, my God!
Follow the field by tears.
Follow the field by tears.
Not later, we better.
Only you know what the females are like.
Thanks a long to get ready, eh?
It's always my fault.
Of course.
Now, are we all here?
Not last, am I, Badger?
Well, somebody has to be at her.
Just follow the glow worms and don't eat.
Shucks!
I was looking forward to a few glow worms.
Now, listen everybody.
Someone's missing.
Oh, you know who.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Am I late for something, Badger?
You're always late for everything, Mo.
Now, friends, Adder and fellow woodlanders.
What's this all about?
Don't get on with it.
We need me to underline the gravity of our situation.
We're all aware that since the giant earth move has moved in,
life in farthing wood has become steadily more and more hazardous,
or one and all.
I'm still here.
First, they devastated our habitat.
Now, they've even filled in our pond.
It's still weaver.
Hang in there.
Not it, but unbound.
But is there any way out from this dilemma?
We're indeed, is the solution to our problems.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
I'm sure, for example, that no one here needs reminding.
At once upon a time, our farthing wood pond was home to 47 indigenous toads.
And where are they now?
We ask ourselves, what happened to the last?
Pompus puffed up toads.
Who was always so dear to us all?
Hold on, weasel. What's that?
I am holding on.
It appears to be.
Yes?
A foot.
I'm here, mateys. I'm coming.
Toad.
Your powers of deduction are admirable, Badger.
Ha ha! Same old alley.
Same old toad.
Hey, you're not here.
Same old toad.
You never thought you'd see me again, Amy, is?
We were so sad, you snuffed it.
Where have you been?
Where have I been more like?
Taken away against my will, weren't I?
Captivate, I were, and took off in a jam jar.
Er, but all the time I were away, I kept saying to myself,
Toad, you must get home.
It was the thought of you luck kept me going.
Fancy.
Must get back to my mateys or keep thinking.
Must get back to my
Pond.
Exactly.
Speaking of which, I'm afraid.
What?
There's some rather bad news, Toad.
It's your
Pond, Toad.
It's been filled in.
What?
You see, Toad, you have to understand
There have been a great many changes.
While you've been away.
But my Pond!
Gone completely, I'm afraid.
And the Newt's puddle.
And the stream.
Just a muddy trickle now.
Which is why we've called this assembly Toad.
Oh!
You never get to hold this meeting.
You see, we've got to face Fax Old Sun.
As a community, we're all but finished here.
Man, and his machines have seen to that.
Don't talk to me about those machines!
I know all about them!
In fact, it must be obvious to everyone here that
If we don't find a new watering hole within the next few days
Then we're going to be in the very worst kind of this stress.
If you know what I'm mean.
Could we try digging for water?
In earth as dry as a biscuit, don't be silly, Mole.
What about you, birds?
You get about a bit, don't you?
Got any idea where we could go?
Not really, Fax.
You see, big game birds, the wife and I don't venture out of the wood very much.
Always the day you're a big
Shot at, you see?
Quite.
I know, is a place that we could go to.
Woo!
Asked you!
It's a great little place.
A wonderful place.
Poor old Toad.
Obviously, rambling, poor fella.
Purpose built for animals like us.
Was it really Toad?
I calls it White Deer Park, Mole.
White Deer?
It is a nature of preserve.
Is it really?
It's a place where all wild creatures are protected by humans.
If such a place existed, I would know about it.
Did you come upon this dear White place on your travels, Toad?
That I did molly her.
Dear White Park, eh?
Hm.
White Deer Park.
Never heard of either of them.
Well, I know it well.
And nowhere is better, I reckon.
Well, Fax.
What do you think?
Have we any alternative?
Quite.
Then White Deer Park, it is everyone.
What?
All those in favour.
Hi.
Well done Toad.
We're going away, we're going away, we're going to White Deer Park.
We're going away, we're going away, we're going to White Deer Park.
We're not gonna stay.
And it's all gonna be a great luck.
Really just hang on a minute, you lot.
We're going away, we're going away, we're going to White Deer Park.
Excuse me.
Happens there's someone else here, as like to be
heard?
Typical hair.
Trust him to spoil things.
Well, hair, what is it?
We're all ears, hair.
Do I hear right, or do I not hear right?
Are you actually suggesting, Badger, that we travel to this ear?
White Deer Park?
To get that?
Of course here.
Naturally.
You mean vegetarians like us, alongside our natural enemies?
The carnivals?
Well
You're expecting us to accept having a fox along with us?
And a thing with claws?
Steady on her.
And as for that slimy, slithery, sneaky snake?
Did someone mention more?
It's eaten half our field-mouthed population already!
Yes, they're so tasty.
Hair's got a point, Badger.
Which is easily overcome.
How, Becca?
By the reintroduction of the ancient woodland bow.
And what the heck's that when it's a tom?
My late father remembered it when those men first started cutting down our trees
to build their little brick and glass boxes.
It was called the Oath of Mutual Protection.
Oath of Mutual Protection?
It's a promise, not to frighten.
Terrorize nor consume one another.
Not eat one another?
How's the snakes supposed to survive?
Quite.
So if you'll all please raise your right paw.
Or claw.
And repeat after me, I, name of animal.
I, name of animal.
No, I told, or of
I remember it.
Yes.
I feel a little solemnly swear.
Do solemnly swear?
Not to swallow anybody.
Not to swallow.
Except when nobody's looking.
While on route to this place of toes.
Toe will obviously be our guide on our journey.
And leader and just guide, I think Toad.
But Toad is right.
We will need a leader.
Someone we could look up to.
Someone cunning and courageous.
And preferably not a snake.
Joaking.
I therefore nominate Fox to be our leader.
Fox?
Huh?
Are you off your trolley?
Fox.
Thanks a bundle, Badger.
Fox?
Oh, hi, Fox.
No, no, no, no.
Fox has all the right qualities here.
He's an experienced traveler.
He eroses far and wide over all sorts of terrains.
And he's used to scavenging.
Oh, don't be like that, Owl.
We can't all be leader.
Now, I'm sure we all got lots of things to do before we leave.
And cleaning our fur coats.
No, just don't forget midnight.
We meet by the great beach of midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.
Midnight.