The Bad Guys: Breaking In (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
I'm not saying
The Bad Guys isn't a good name.
It's just, you know, a little on the nose.
That's why it works.
We are bad guys,
so folks know what they're getting.
Sure. Still, it… it could be cooler,
like The Night Owls.
Not you too!
All anybody wants to talk about
is The Night Owls.
It's a catchy name.
The Bad Guys is plenty catchy.
We just need to get it out there more.
Speaking of, everybody in position?
Ready and waiting for the signal.
Wait. Is this the signal?
No! Stick to the plan.
And don't get nervous.
You know what happens when you do.
Nothing! I don't know
what you're talking about.
Webs? Webs, you copy?
Yeah, yeah. I'm with Snake on the name.
That's not… I-I wasn't asking.
Are you in position?
Duh! I'm the most in position
anyone's ever been.
All right. That just leaves Shark.
Shark, is the lobster in the trap?
Shark, have you subdued the guard?
We're not so different, you and I.
Just two regular joes.
One of us definitely isn't an imposter.
Ooh! Want to hear my backstory?
Was that the sound of improvising?
We've been over this, Shark. Shark.
Oh, I'm on it, Wolfie.
Spider!
You know I'm down to steal anything.
Really, anything.
But what's so special about some old game?
Only a few
Space Fruit Battle 2000s were made
before the game was scrapped
because it was too addictive.
Kids stopped sleeping,
panic in the streets, societal breakdown.
And this just happens to be
the last working one.
Stealing it
is really gonna get our name out there.
Signal's late.
Which is probably fine.
Unless it isn't.
Wolf, is the lobster in the trap? Wolf?
Can anybody tell me
if the lobster is indeed inside the trap?
I just want to say sorry again
for not realizing it was you before,
and not a regular spider.
That's still insulting.
I'm, uh, just getting used to
having a spider as a teammate…
is an option for an excuse.
Oh, hey there.
I bet you're asking yourself,
"Who is this team of
daring super criminals?"
We're The Bad Guys.
And you can see why.
Take Mr. Snake.
There's nothing he can't steal.
Or won't.
Then there's Ms. Tarantula.
We call her Webs.
She's our technological,
geniusological, arach…
Uh, she can hack stuff good.
Mr. Shark's our master of disguise.
And then there's Mr. Piranha. He's--
The heat's on us! We gotta go!
Piranha, uh, he brings the unexpected.
So, who's the mastermind
behind this super team?
That'd be me, Mr. Wolf.
As in Big Bad.
Who are you talking to?
To get our name out there,
I thought I'd introduce us properly.
We're The Bad Guys.
-You'll want to remember that.
-Uh, yeah.
The security cameras aren't recording.
I turned them off…
this being a heist and all.
And here comes the best part.
The getaway.
I always knew
this job was a one-way ticket.
Maybe a brush with the fuzz
is just what we need.
"Notorious crooks, The Bad Guys,
narrowly escape police." I like that.
That's right, it's us, The Bad Guys.
We just stole some big-time loot.
How about a little high-speed…
Huh. Huh.
Are they… Were they not after us?
Guess they had bigger fish to fry.
But… But we're The Bad Guys.
The Night Owls have struck again.
Last night, they hit every jewelry store
on Gemstone Row
and narrowly avoided capture
after an epic police chase.
Oh. We should have done that.
Yeah. Why did we steal a lousy game again?
So, we're not the lead story.
I bet our heist will be up next.
Right, Piranha?
This magical machine is the greatest thing
that's ever been stolen, so definitely.
Game over? I hate this game!
Ooh! Bonus round! This game rules!
With this latest daring heist,
The Night Owls have surpassed
The Slippery Eels
to claim the second spot
on 6 News Nightly's
Worst of the Worst List,
which is a list we keep even though
it creates a sense of competitiveness
that probably worsens crime in the city.
But who am I to question tradition?
We didn't even make the list?
Which just means it'll taste
all the sweeter when we finally do.
Oh, c… The Inside Cats beat us out?
Oh, that chafes my scales.
They hunt down every small rodent
they can find and don't even eat them.
I hate food waste.
The Night Owls may have a chance
to nab the top spot
when the famous painting Sad Boy
goes on display
for the first time since
The Crimson Paw stole it ten years ago.
Not that I'm suggesting anyone steal it.
Don't do that.
Are they even gonna talk about
our arcade heist?
I told everybody I was gonna be on TV.
Man, I need snacks.
-I guess that just leaves us.
-I'm not hungry. Thanks though.
Yeah, I-I have to go do something.
It's not looking for another gig
because this one isn't working out.
What? Uh, I-I mean, not that.
I don't want to talk.
That is too bad, uh, because that…
that's definitely why I'm up here.
But if you don't want to talk,
I gotta get out of here. Talk later.
We worked so hard on the arcade heist
and nobody even noticed.
It's just…
I really believed,
with all our unique talents,
our crooked instincts,
our collective love of the steal,
we could become the best
crime-pulling team that ever existed.
But, and maybe I'm being paranoid,
I feel like everyone just wants to go off
and do their own thing.
I blame the name.
Anyway, you're right.
We should all go our separate ways.
Huh? Wait a second.
That's not what I said.
Snake, y-you're my best bud.
That hurts coming from you.
We can't give up.
We're all better as a team,
and I need you for this to work.
-Were you sneaking out to do a job alone?
-Who, me?
No. My face was just cold.
Of course I was.
Look, you're a wolf.
You're meant to be in a pack,
sniffing each other's butts.
There's not even a word
for a wolf that goes solo.
But me? I'm a lone snake.
I get it.
I guess The Bad Guys was a silly idea.
You're a dreamer, Wolf.
That's why I love you.
Well, see you in the funny papers.
Sad Boy.
Stealing that
would sure make a name for somebody.
Of course,
you'd need a team to pull it off.
The Bad Guys?
The Bad Guys steal that? Ha!
I'm gonna do another "ha"
for emphasis. Ha!
But if we did, not only would we
jump right over The Night Owls
on the Worst of the Worst List,
we'd knock The Inside Cats right off.
Fine. I'll stay for one more job.
But if this doesn't work, I'm out.
Sad Boy hasn't been shown
since The Crimson Paw stole it
and then returned it,
just to prove that he could.
Which is just so cool.
And that means that if we steal it,
we'll be launched into the same league
as The Crimson Paw.
Oh! Oh! Please say I have to go
deep undercover as Sad Boy.
Here we go.
I like the enthusiasm, but no.
Probably for the best.
Emoting that much sadness might cause
permanent frown lines.
Yeah, if we actually pull this off,
we don't have to, like, hang it up, do we?
This place is depressing enough.
Forget about the painting.
I mean, don't. We have to steal it.
But it's not about Sad Boy.
It's about proving that The Bad Boys…
I mean, The Bad Guys, are the best…
I mean, the worst,
by stealing Sad Guy… Boy.
You get it.
Still sure about the name?
One thousand percent. We're The Bad Guys.
And soon, the whole world will know us.
Come on! You want a piece of me?
You mangoes don't know what's coming!
Okay, that's not helpful.
Piranha, buddy, what… Have you slept?
Oh, thanks, man.
I couldn't stop on my own.
Anytime. We're a team.
And we'll need to work as a team,
because stealing Sad Boy won't be easy.
The museum has installed
extra security measures.
Yes! Finally, a heist
where I can put my skills to the test.
I really need this to work,
because my fallback career is boring.
Not that I have one of those.
Every criminal in town will want to
get their paws on the painting,
which is why we're gonna steal it tonight,
before the exhibit opens tomorrow.
The painting is in the gallery
on the top floor.
Step one is for Shark to impersonate
a building inspector
and get the guard to turn off
the first layer of security.
Museum's closed, sir.
No building is closed to me,
for I'm an official building inspector.
My official documents.
I didn't print them out from the Internet.
With the big exhibit opening tomorrow,
we cannot take any chances.
You see that?
One crack in the foundation,
this whole place could come down.
Do you want that?
Folks trapped inside,
eating priceless artwork just to survive?
Is that what you want?
Oh, no.
No. No, no, no, no.
Love so much about that.
Uh, but maybe we went a little too far
with the improvisation there, buddy.
But I developed a whole backstory
for my inspector.
He's a broken man,
hardened by too many years on the job.
You promised I'd be able to stretch
my actorial fins with The Bad Guys.
And you can.
I just wonder i-if your inspector
keeps all that buried inside.
Deep, deep, deep inside,
so that the guard doesn't get suspicious.
Because you are a suspiciously good actor.
I suppose I could rework the character.
He's all business.
Doesn't have time for chitchat
because work is
the only thing that can distract him
from the ghosts of his past.
Just let me hack into the security system.
We can skip whatever this is.
The perimeter alarms can only be
turned off from inside the museum.
And once Shark gets the guard to do that,
you handle step two,
hacking the internal
motion-detection lasers.
I made him smile.
Webs?
You are no fun.
You promised this will be fun.
What's more fun than
a perfectly executed plan?
ArachnaTech Helpline.
It's a family nickname.
Okay, you're clearly lying.
What? No, I'm not. Oh, just a sec.
We do appreciate your call, ma'am.
Have you tried rebooting?
My auntie.
She needs a lot of computer help
and values good manners.
Wait. What am I supposed to do
during all this?
I was getting to that.
You need to be patient.
I don't have a lot of patience
for patience.
Well, I have great news then.
You, my friend, are about to have
an opportunity to exercise that muscle,
because your role involves
waiting patiently.
We signal, then you come get us.
Do not crash the walls like the arcade.
Oh, man! Waiting is the hardest job.
-You just sit. There's not much to it.
-My brain goes to all sorts of places.
Like, what if another gang tries to pull
the same heist at the exact same time,
and me and the other driver
get our signals crossed,
and I end up
picking up the other gang by mistake?
So, you come here often?
No?
I like your jacket.
-Hoot! Hoot!
-Don't encourage him, Shark.
-Piranha, that's not gonna happen.
-What if it does?
That building inspector
did bring up some good points.
You mean,
the imaginary character Shark invented?
Pretty convincing, wasn't I?
Yeah. What if the building
starts to collapse?
Should I drive the car
over the museum, and you all, like,
jump up at the same time?
Bravo! What a thrilling tale.
Piranha, no way that's gonna happen,
mainly because,
with how this run-through is going,
I'm not confident
we could coordinate a simultaneous jump.
Also, our car can't fly.
Well, maybe it should be able to.
You promised me something
when I agreed to join The Bad Guys.
I forgot what, but I feel like
it involved mayhem, not patience.
One last job. You promised.
Do I look like someone who keeps promises?
Face facts, Wolfie.
This obviously isn't gonna work.
Facts are only true
because people believe them.
Come on. We can do this.
For me. Please.
Fine. Do it to beat The Inside Cats.
It's gonna work. It has to work.
Waiting patiently.
Patiently waiting. Nothing to worry about.
Uh-oh!
Maybe just distracting your brain
is the way to go.
Ooh!
Museum's closed, sir.
Building inspector. I need full access
to the building for inspecting.
Disable the perimeter alarms.
I have a clipboard,
so you know I'm all business.
Oh. Uh, of course, sir.
We're in. It actually worked.
Maybe you're onto something
about this "less is more" business, Wolf.
Or it was the clipboard.
I should do more prop work.
Copy that.
Second layer of alarms disabled.
That's our cue.
This plan is too complicated.
Smash and grab
has always worked fine for me.
You've been to jail,
like, a hundred times.
And I've always smashed
and grabbed my way out.
No smashing, no grabbing.
We're here to steal Sad Boy,
nothing else. Stick to the plan.
Wolfie, come on.
I may not always agree with your plans,
but I always stick to 'em.
Oh, yeah? So you didn't steal anything
besides the game at the arcade?
I don't know how that got there.
What? I'm a thief.
If I don't steal things, who even am I?
Besides, you promised, and I quote,
"unfettered stealing"
when I agreed to join this outfit.
And you're a great thief.
But if we're gonna get
The Bad Guys' name out there,
then we need to pull this off,
and to do that,
we have to stick to the plan.
The pedestals are weight sensor-equipped.
If anything is removed,
the alarm goes to the security company.
Game over.
Aw, why?
Not you. Also,
did you not hear anything I just said?
I am who I am.
Focus on the job.
Sure is different seeing it in person.
The artist really captured h-his sadness.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm not sad… at all.
Unrelated…
…why is my face wet?
It's too much.
We gotta stop looking. Don't look.
I can't.
Fight it. Fight it!
Let's steal this horrible painting
and get out of here.
Oh.
Wait.
First, we need folks to know that
The Bad Guys are the ones who took it.
We should sign our work like artists do.
Then everyone will know our name.
Ah, I wish I had some spray paint,
or a customized stamp.
Would this work?
Yeah. Actually, that's perfect.
Give me a boost.
Oh!
Ooh…
Oh, no.
Come on. You're gonna be sadder than him
if we get caught. Let's go!
What's going on? What do I do?
This is your moment, Shark. Improvise.
These alarms are the least of our worries.
This whole place is structurally unsound,
like my personal life,
because I'm married to the job!
Webs, tell me you can do something
about this. Hello?
I'm sorry to hear
your phone isn't working, sir.
May I just ask,
how is it you're talking to me now?
-Webs, help.
-Hold, please.
-Wait. Me? I can't hold.
-The grates were automatically activated.
I can't control them.
-That's awesome.
-It's really not.
-I slowed the guard as long as I could.
-Hang on, Wolf. I can buy you some time.
I guess you were right. I dream too big.
I should have let you go before.
Go now, before it's too late.
-No need to tell me twice.
-Wait, really?
I thought… I mean, yeah, good.
I'll just talk to myself,
because you're already gone.
Oh…
Hey, guys. I'm, uh… Don't worry about me.
I'm the Big Bad Wolf, remember?
I can take care of myself.
Get out of here.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
-No.
-Probably not.
Buckle up.
I'm about to make our ride fly.
What is he do--
This is gonna work.
Tiffany Fluffit
reporting live from the art museum,
where a new criminal group
brazenly broke in.
Their name? The Bad Guys.
-She said our name.
-Tiffany Fluffit knows who we are!
We're on TV. Which means we're famous!
ArachnaTe--
You know what? I quit.
Despite getting past the museum's
heightened security,
the mysterious Bad Guys
didn't steal the famous Sad Boy.
Were they just trying to prove
that they could?
Or are they a performance art group?
We don't need… I-I think we got it.
I-I apologized for the whole not getting
the painting thing already, right?
-You did not.
-That is not what happened at all.
Oh. Okay.
I'm going to apologize now.
Here goes.
I'm sorry for going off-plan after giving
everyone a hard time about doing that.
-I'll take it.
-It's cool.
That's the nicest thing
anybody's ever said to me.
Don't sweat it, Wolf.
You're a Bad Guy,
and Bad Guys break the rules.
So?
You admit that it's a good name, right?
I mean, I guess it's all right.
But Snake and His Bad Guys…
Actually, that might be better.
-Does that mean you'll stay?
-Yeah. Okay.
I mean, you know,
until something better comes along.
Not possible,
because we're gonna be the best.
Maybe we didn't get the score,
but we did get
The Bad Guys name out there.
Now we have to show everybody who we are.
By stealing stuff?
-All the stuff.
-Will I get to improvise?
I'm going to get to hack things
nobody's ever hacked before?
-I need to do mayhem.
-You promised fun.
Will there be mayhem?
Oh, yeah. It's a promise.