The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show (1983) s01e01 Episode Script
Snoopy's Cat Fight
Why do birds need so much string
when they're building a nest?
I'm sure I don't know.
I'm very pleased to see
such a good turnout.
With a little luck, I think
we can have a good season.
Today's spring training session is
going to begin with a demonstration.
Last year, we hit into
too many double plays.
Two of our members are going to
show us how this can be avoided.
Linus is going to be the shortstop,
and Snoopy is going to be the
runner going from first to second
who breaks up the double play.
Now watch carefully.
The play begins with
Linus fielding the ball.
Then he makes the play at second
while Snoopy streaks toward him.
Are there any questions?
Ow!
What happened?
What's the matter?
I got hit on the finger
with a foul tip.
Is it going to be alright?
Are you going to be able to play?
I'm not sure.
I'll have to find out.
It's alright. I can play.
That isn't exactly what I meant.
Right in the middle of a ball game?
Are you out of your mind?
I'm trying to pitch.
Can't you see that?
I've got to concentrate
on what I'm doing.
Oh, now you're going
to be hurt, aren't you?
Oh, good grief.
Alright, come here.
No wonder Sandy Koufax retired.
That little red-headed girl
has come to watch our game.
I wonder if she's looking at me.
She wasn't looking at me.
What are you doing, Charlie Brown?
Why don't you pitch?
That little red-haired girl,
she's watching the game.
Oh, good grief.
This is my big chance to be a hero.
And she is watching.
I'm going to bear down
and pitch a great game.
And that little red-haired girl will
be so impressed and so excited
that she'll rush out here to the
mound and give me a big hug.
Oh, brother.
Why do I think about things like that?
Good grief, Charlie Brown.
When are you going to
throw the first pitch?
The little red-haired girl is watching.
I can't let go of the ball.
My fingers are numb.
I'm starting to shake.
Look at me.
I'm shaking all over.
I don't suppose there's a
neurologist in the stands.
Wouldn't a general practitioner do?
How about a vet?
I'm going to pitch
a great, great game.
Come on, Charlie Brown.
We'll take you home.
That little red-haired
girl is watching.
And I'm going to pitch
a great, great game.
And she's going to be impressed.
We'll take you home, Charlie Brown.
And you can go to bed
until you stop shaking.
I'm going to be the hero.
I'm going to pitch a great game.
And that little red-haired
girl will be watching.
And I'll be pitching.
And I'll be great.
And she'll be there.
And
Okay, okay, start the game.
I feel better.
I've stopped shaking.
The game's over, Charlie Brown.
And guess what?
We won!
Linus took your place and
he pitched a great game.
There's this little red-
haired girl watching.
And she got so excited after the game
that she rushed out to the mound
and gave Linus a big hug.
And she
My friend.
My friend the relief pitcher.
My friend the relief pitcher
who pitched a great game
and impressed the little
red-haired girl so much
that she ran out and
gave him a big hug.
My friend.
This is a drawing I made of a cow
in a meadow chasing mice.
What do you mean
cows don't chase mice?
Ma'am?
All right, scratch the mice.
My report today is on dinosaurs.
The largest dinosaur that
ever lived was bronchitis.
It soon became extinct.
It coughed a lot.
Well, here I am again
for show and tell.
And guess what I've brought today?
I have things in here that
will thrill you and chill you.
I have things in here
that will fill you with fear.
And with terror and horror.
I have things in here that will
Yes, ma'am?
All the life has gone
out of show and tell.
Chuck, what are you doing in my seat?
Our school building collapsed.
So we have to come here
to your school for a while.
You mean we're gonna be sharing?
Wow!
This is great!
Side by side, huh?
Look out today, ma'am.
You're gonna be double teamed.
Okay, Chuck.
This is the way we're gonna work.
As long as we're sitting
at the same desk,
we might as well be a team.
Your hip is touching my hip, Chuck.
If you know an answer and I don't,
you tell me what it is, Chuck.
If I know an answer and you don't,
I'll tell you what it is, okay?
What happens if neither
of us knows the answer?
We'll putt.
False?
Why do you put down false, Chuck?
The answer is true.
Put down true, Chuck.
What's true is true.
Put down true, Chuck.
Or I'll never speak to you again.
Ma'am?
Oh, no, ma'am.
She's not giving me the answers.
Forcing, maybe.
But not giving.
No, ma'am.
I didn't hear the question.
I guess there was an airplane
flying over or something.
The answer is six.
Three.
You contradicted me, Chuck.
You made a fool out of me
in front of the whole class.
Six was the wrong answer.
I had to say three.
You don't like me, do you, Chuck?
Move your elbow, Chuck.
It's in my way.
I can't write with your
elbow in my way, Chuck.
And stop wiggling around so much.
You make the whole desk move.
Sighs can start arguments too, Chuck.
Move over, Chuck.
You're taking up too much room.
Sorry, ma'am.
My desk partner here
isn't very coordinated.
Don't chew on your eraser, Chuck.
It bugs me.
Stop drumming your
fingers on the desk, Chuck.
That grosses me out.
And don't hassle me
with your sighs, Chuck.
Eat your lunch, sir.
I'm in a bad mood, Marcy.
I don't know how much longer I can
stand sharing a desk with Chuck.
I hate myself for feeling this way.
Look at that.
My mood ring just exploded.
Don't breathe through
your mouth, Chuck.
Don't lick your fingers when
you turn the pages, Chuck.
And don't scrape
your feet on the desk.
Will you stop criticizing me?
Another fine mess you've
gotten me into, Chuck.
Yes, sir, Mr. Principal.
You want us to write 100 times
"I will not create a
disturbance in class."
Are you aware, sir,
that many educators feel
that this is a very wrong
way to punish students?
Oh, no, sir.
I'm not complaining.
It's just a whole lot better
than a rap on the head.
Disgraced our family again, I see.
It's not pleasant, you know,
having a brother who's a criminal.
When I get married
and have children,
I hope they don't inherit
your criminal tendencies.
Hey, Chuck, how are you coming
with your 100 sentences?
I've got six of them done already.
I finished mine right after dinner.
I hate you, Chuck.
You wouldn't care to help me with
my 100 sentences, would you, Marcy?
That would be dishonest, sir.
Accept your punishment
and be a better person for it.
Bug off, Marcy.
I haven't mentioned that you
misspelled disturbance every time, sir.
Yes, ma'am.
Chuck and I have finished
our 100 sentences.
Yes, ma'am.
Chuck and I realized we did wrong.
Chuck and I have learned our lesson.
Chuck and I know better now.
Chuck and I will try very hard to
I can speak for myself!
Nice going, Chuck.
This is a report on what sort of
men make the best husbands.
Dentists, draftsmen, hockey players,
well diggers, and lumber salesmen.
They rate the highest.
Piano players rate shockingly low.
Where did you get a report like that?
Eh, I just made it up.
Schroeder, do you think a
pretty girl is like a melody?
I can't say.
I've never known any pretty girls.
May your stupid piano
be devoured by termites.
What are you doing here?
Who wants to know?
Maybe I just like music.
Do you like Beethoven?
What?
If you're going to hang around here,
you've got to like Beethoven.
All right, but I'll just
have a small glass.
You blew it, kid.
He's not very friendly, is he?
You could say that.
What do you think would happen if I
turned around and gave him a big kiss?
Who knows?
How should I do it?
Just whirl around and kiss him?
Why not?
Blech.
Blech.
You musicians are something else.
I have a friend who
plays the accordion.
He can play polkas, waltzes,
and all sorts of things.
You know, the kind of tunes
that people like to hear.
I knew that would get him.
You want to hear some real music?
Listen to this.
See?
That's real music.
That's the sort of
music that people like.
Not that old Beethoven stuff.
I can't stand it!
I just can't stand it!
Beethoven, phooey.
He wasn't so great.
What do you mean,
he wasn't so great?
Well, he didn't get to be king, did he?
Huh?
He didn't get to be king, did he?
Huh? Did he?
Did he get to be king?
Huh? Did he? Did he?
Good grief.
How can anybody be called great
if he doesn't get to be king?
Who's the kid with the blanket?
That's Linus.
He's my sweet baboo.
I am not your sweet baboo!
He is, but he isn't, but he is.
Why do you carry that blanket around?
It's hard to explain.
May I try it, please?
I guess so.
It feels nice.
You did what?
I gave my blanket to Eudora.
What could I do?
She smiled at me.
I'm surprised at you.
You usually don't do
dumb things like that.
It was a cute smile.
Eudora, what are you
doing with that blanket?
That blanket belongs
to my sweet baboo!
I am not your sweet baboo!
He gave it to me.
I didn't know what I was doing!
Oh, you're a fine one, you are.
I've always been nice to you,
but did you care?
No, you didn't.
And now a new girl moves in,
and smiles just once at you,
and you give her your blanket.
Oh, you're a fine one, you are.
You know what I hope?
I hope you have a nervous breakdown.
That's what I hope.
You must be a good hoper.
Still have my blanket, I see.
Oh, yes.
I find it a great source
of comfort and security.
Thank you for giving
it to me, sweet baboo.
He's not your sweet baboo!
Snoopy, I need your help.
I gave my blanket to Eudora,
and now I want you
to get it back for me.
I don't care how you do it.
You asked Snoopy to get your
blanket back from Eudora?
If anyone can do it, he can.
He's going to win her
over by charming her.
Charming her?
Somehow I have the feeling you're
trying to get something from me.
You're after Linus'
blanket, aren't you?
Well, I don't have it.
I gave it to that kitty next door.
Eudora gave my blanket
to the cat next door?
Well, get it back!
You're not afraid of a cat, are you?
That cat has my blanket!
How are we going to get it back?
Why should it be so hard to
get a blanket from a cat?
I don't see why I can't take this pole
and just reach right over there and
How do you get a blanket
from a 500,000-pound cat?
Maybe we should use some strategy.
What am I going to do, Charlie Brown?
I can't get my blanket
away from that cat!
Why don't you surprise him?
Drop down on him from a helicopter.
A helicopter?
What's going on?
Linus is trying to get his
blanket back from that cat.
He's going to drop on top
of him from the helicopter.
I have long suspected that
insanity runs in our families.
Okay, now.
We're right over the cat.
Just keep those helicopter
blades whirling.
Supper time!
Oh, no!
Fight, fight!
Hurry! It's a fight!
It's a dog, cat, boy and bird fight!
Hurry! It's a big fight!
They're killing each other!
It's a boy, cat and bird fight!
Cat and bird fight!
Cat and bird fight!
It's over. Fight is over.
Hey you guys, the fight is over.
when they're building a nest?
I'm sure I don't know.
I'm very pleased to see
such a good turnout.
With a little luck, I think
we can have a good season.
Today's spring training session is
going to begin with a demonstration.
Last year, we hit into
too many double plays.
Two of our members are going to
show us how this can be avoided.
Linus is going to be the shortstop,
and Snoopy is going to be the
runner going from first to second
who breaks up the double play.
Now watch carefully.
The play begins with
Linus fielding the ball.
Then he makes the play at second
while Snoopy streaks toward him.
Are there any questions?
Ow!
What happened?
What's the matter?
I got hit on the finger
with a foul tip.
Is it going to be alright?
Are you going to be able to play?
I'm not sure.
I'll have to find out.
It's alright. I can play.
That isn't exactly what I meant.
Right in the middle of a ball game?
Are you out of your mind?
I'm trying to pitch.
Can't you see that?
I've got to concentrate
on what I'm doing.
Oh, now you're going
to be hurt, aren't you?
Oh, good grief.
Alright, come here.
No wonder Sandy Koufax retired.
That little red-headed girl
has come to watch our game.
I wonder if she's looking at me.
She wasn't looking at me.
What are you doing, Charlie Brown?
Why don't you pitch?
That little red-haired girl,
she's watching the game.
Oh, good grief.
This is my big chance to be a hero.
And she is watching.
I'm going to bear down
and pitch a great game.
And that little red-haired girl will
be so impressed and so excited
that she'll rush out here to the
mound and give me a big hug.
Oh, brother.
Why do I think about things like that?
Good grief, Charlie Brown.
When are you going to
throw the first pitch?
The little red-haired girl is watching.
I can't let go of the ball.
My fingers are numb.
I'm starting to shake.
Look at me.
I'm shaking all over.
I don't suppose there's a
neurologist in the stands.
Wouldn't a general practitioner do?
How about a vet?
I'm going to pitch
a great, great game.
Come on, Charlie Brown.
We'll take you home.
That little red-haired
girl is watching.
And I'm going to pitch
a great, great game.
And she's going to be impressed.
We'll take you home, Charlie Brown.
And you can go to bed
until you stop shaking.
I'm going to be the hero.
I'm going to pitch a great game.
And that little red-haired
girl will be watching.
And I'll be pitching.
And I'll be great.
And she'll be there.
And
Okay, okay, start the game.
I feel better.
I've stopped shaking.
The game's over, Charlie Brown.
And guess what?
We won!
Linus took your place and
he pitched a great game.
There's this little red-
haired girl watching.
And she got so excited after the game
that she rushed out to the mound
and gave Linus a big hug.
And she
My friend.
My friend the relief pitcher.
My friend the relief pitcher
who pitched a great game
and impressed the little
red-haired girl so much
that she ran out and
gave him a big hug.
My friend.
This is a drawing I made of a cow
in a meadow chasing mice.
What do you mean
cows don't chase mice?
Ma'am?
All right, scratch the mice.
My report today is on dinosaurs.
The largest dinosaur that
ever lived was bronchitis.
It soon became extinct.
It coughed a lot.
Well, here I am again
for show and tell.
And guess what I've brought today?
I have things in here that
will thrill you and chill you.
I have things in here
that will fill you with fear.
And with terror and horror.
I have things in here that will
Yes, ma'am?
All the life has gone
out of show and tell.
Chuck, what are you doing in my seat?
Our school building collapsed.
So we have to come here
to your school for a while.
You mean we're gonna be sharing?
Wow!
This is great!
Side by side, huh?
Look out today, ma'am.
You're gonna be double teamed.
Okay, Chuck.
This is the way we're gonna work.
As long as we're sitting
at the same desk,
we might as well be a team.
Your hip is touching my hip, Chuck.
If you know an answer and I don't,
you tell me what it is, Chuck.
If I know an answer and you don't,
I'll tell you what it is, okay?
What happens if neither
of us knows the answer?
We'll putt.
False?
Why do you put down false, Chuck?
The answer is true.
Put down true, Chuck.
What's true is true.
Put down true, Chuck.
Or I'll never speak to you again.
Ma'am?
Oh, no, ma'am.
She's not giving me the answers.
Forcing, maybe.
But not giving.
No, ma'am.
I didn't hear the question.
I guess there was an airplane
flying over or something.
The answer is six.
Three.
You contradicted me, Chuck.
You made a fool out of me
in front of the whole class.
Six was the wrong answer.
I had to say three.
You don't like me, do you, Chuck?
Move your elbow, Chuck.
It's in my way.
I can't write with your
elbow in my way, Chuck.
And stop wiggling around so much.
You make the whole desk move.
Sighs can start arguments too, Chuck.
Move over, Chuck.
You're taking up too much room.
Sorry, ma'am.
My desk partner here
isn't very coordinated.
Don't chew on your eraser, Chuck.
It bugs me.
Stop drumming your
fingers on the desk, Chuck.
That grosses me out.
And don't hassle me
with your sighs, Chuck.
Eat your lunch, sir.
I'm in a bad mood, Marcy.
I don't know how much longer I can
stand sharing a desk with Chuck.
I hate myself for feeling this way.
Look at that.
My mood ring just exploded.
Don't breathe through
your mouth, Chuck.
Don't lick your fingers when
you turn the pages, Chuck.
And don't scrape
your feet on the desk.
Will you stop criticizing me?
Another fine mess you've
gotten me into, Chuck.
Yes, sir, Mr. Principal.
You want us to write 100 times
"I will not create a
disturbance in class."
Are you aware, sir,
that many educators feel
that this is a very wrong
way to punish students?
Oh, no, sir.
I'm not complaining.
It's just a whole lot better
than a rap on the head.
Disgraced our family again, I see.
It's not pleasant, you know,
having a brother who's a criminal.
When I get married
and have children,
I hope they don't inherit
your criminal tendencies.
Hey, Chuck, how are you coming
with your 100 sentences?
I've got six of them done already.
I finished mine right after dinner.
I hate you, Chuck.
You wouldn't care to help me with
my 100 sentences, would you, Marcy?
That would be dishonest, sir.
Accept your punishment
and be a better person for it.
Bug off, Marcy.
I haven't mentioned that you
misspelled disturbance every time, sir.
Yes, ma'am.
Chuck and I have finished
our 100 sentences.
Yes, ma'am.
Chuck and I realized we did wrong.
Chuck and I have learned our lesson.
Chuck and I know better now.
Chuck and I will try very hard to
I can speak for myself!
Nice going, Chuck.
This is a report on what sort of
men make the best husbands.
Dentists, draftsmen, hockey players,
well diggers, and lumber salesmen.
They rate the highest.
Piano players rate shockingly low.
Where did you get a report like that?
Eh, I just made it up.
Schroeder, do you think a
pretty girl is like a melody?
I can't say.
I've never known any pretty girls.
May your stupid piano
be devoured by termites.
What are you doing here?
Who wants to know?
Maybe I just like music.
Do you like Beethoven?
What?
If you're going to hang around here,
you've got to like Beethoven.
All right, but I'll just
have a small glass.
You blew it, kid.
He's not very friendly, is he?
You could say that.
What do you think would happen if I
turned around and gave him a big kiss?
Who knows?
How should I do it?
Just whirl around and kiss him?
Why not?
Blech.
Blech.
You musicians are something else.
I have a friend who
plays the accordion.
He can play polkas, waltzes,
and all sorts of things.
You know, the kind of tunes
that people like to hear.
I knew that would get him.
You want to hear some real music?
Listen to this.
See?
That's real music.
That's the sort of
music that people like.
Not that old Beethoven stuff.
I can't stand it!
I just can't stand it!
Beethoven, phooey.
He wasn't so great.
What do you mean,
he wasn't so great?
Well, he didn't get to be king, did he?
Huh?
He didn't get to be king, did he?
Huh? Did he?
Did he get to be king?
Huh? Did he? Did he?
Good grief.
How can anybody be called great
if he doesn't get to be king?
Who's the kid with the blanket?
That's Linus.
He's my sweet baboo.
I am not your sweet baboo!
He is, but he isn't, but he is.
Why do you carry that blanket around?
It's hard to explain.
May I try it, please?
I guess so.
It feels nice.
You did what?
I gave my blanket to Eudora.
What could I do?
She smiled at me.
I'm surprised at you.
You usually don't do
dumb things like that.
It was a cute smile.
Eudora, what are you
doing with that blanket?
That blanket belongs
to my sweet baboo!
I am not your sweet baboo!
He gave it to me.
I didn't know what I was doing!
Oh, you're a fine one, you are.
I've always been nice to you,
but did you care?
No, you didn't.
And now a new girl moves in,
and smiles just once at you,
and you give her your blanket.
Oh, you're a fine one, you are.
You know what I hope?
I hope you have a nervous breakdown.
That's what I hope.
You must be a good hoper.
Still have my blanket, I see.
Oh, yes.
I find it a great source
of comfort and security.
Thank you for giving
it to me, sweet baboo.
He's not your sweet baboo!
Snoopy, I need your help.
I gave my blanket to Eudora,
and now I want you
to get it back for me.
I don't care how you do it.
You asked Snoopy to get your
blanket back from Eudora?
If anyone can do it, he can.
He's going to win her
over by charming her.
Charming her?
Somehow I have the feeling you're
trying to get something from me.
You're after Linus'
blanket, aren't you?
Well, I don't have it.
I gave it to that kitty next door.
Eudora gave my blanket
to the cat next door?
Well, get it back!
You're not afraid of a cat, are you?
That cat has my blanket!
How are we going to get it back?
Why should it be so hard to
get a blanket from a cat?
I don't see why I can't take this pole
and just reach right over there and
How do you get a blanket
from a 500,000-pound cat?
Maybe we should use some strategy.
What am I going to do, Charlie Brown?
I can't get my blanket
away from that cat!
Why don't you surprise him?
Drop down on him from a helicopter.
A helicopter?
What's going on?
Linus is trying to get his
blanket back from that cat.
He's going to drop on top
of him from the helicopter.
I have long suspected that
insanity runs in our families.
Okay, now.
We're right over the cat.
Just keep those helicopter
blades whirling.
Supper time!
Oh, no!
Fight, fight!
Hurry! It's a fight!
It's a dog, cat, boy and bird fight!
Hurry! It's a big fight!
They're killing each other!
It's a boy, cat and bird fight!
Cat and bird fight!
Cat and bird fight!
It's over. Fight is over.
Hey you guys, the fight is over.