The Doomies (2026) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[streamer sighs]
-Okay, fellow Doomies.
-[thunder rumbling]
I think we finally found it.
The source of all evil.
-The gateway to Subterra.
-[crows cawing]
Don't forget to like and subscribe
for more spooky exclusives
as we try to open up this portal
to the land of the dead.
All right. Here goes.
Ragna baragna mordefy!
[thunder rumbling]
[grunts] Bobby, it's another dud.
It says, "Made in Belgium."
What? It's not even a real rock?
Oh, man. [sighs]
We should probably stop getting
our intel from tourist pamphlets.
They offer great meal deals.
[both] Mmm.
[horn honking]
On your right,
you can see the gates to Subterra.
Isn't that the spookiest?
Oh! Scary.
All righty. More scary, scary up next!
[both] Tourists!
Oh, I don't get it.
We're meant to be living
in the most cursed town in France. Okay?
Built atop a haunted pirate graveyard in
the middle of Brittany's Bermuda Triangle.
I mean, some of these legends
have to be real, right?
You'd be crazy not to believe Romy.
The proof is out there,
and we're gonna find
those creatures of doom.
[both chuckle]
[both] Wow.
[both babbling]
[thunder rumbling]
[Bobby straining]
Don't you think it's maybe time
you bought your own bike?
[Romy] Hmm. I'm good.
So, what do you want to investigate next?
The Ship Graveyard?
[scoffs] Last time we went,
I got splinters for days.
How about Boggy Mary?
[Romy] The Bog Lady?
That's an even bigger hoax.
Besides, every time we investigate
the bog, I lose a shoe.
[horn honking]
[both screaming, grunting]
-[Romy grunting]
-[cow moos]
[both grunting]
[both] Oh, no! [scream]
[Romy groans] Tourists!
-[phone chimes]
-Hmm?
"Happy 13th birthday, Bobby.
We, at the Knot Shop, did not forget."
Uh, hey, I-I didn't forget either.
What? You didn't get
my birthday text this morning?
[scoffs] Gee, phone reception
is so bad in this town.
It's totally fine you forgot.
Uh, but I totally didn't.
I can see you ninja-texting
behind your back.
-[phone chimes]
-And you sent it anyways.
"Blurgy trowdy Blobby."
Hmm. [chuckles]
You're a doofus,
and also really bad at texting.
-But thanks.
-[chuckles] All right.
Come on. Let's try to find our way back.
Uh, where are we?
I don't know,
but this place is way spooky.
Check that out.
[both] Wanna go exploring?
[both gasp]
Did we just find…
A genuine creepy rock?
Uh-huh.
As paranormal archaeologists,
we need to be scientific about this.
[grunts] Ow!
[both grunt, scream]
[both groaning]
[both panting]
[Romy] Hmm?
What do you think it says?
[imitating monster]
The boy's soul belongs to us.
[gulps]
Kidding. [chuckles]
I can't read super creepy
ancient scribbles. Selfie?
[both chuckle]
-[electronic bark]
-[shutter clicks]
[grunts, panting]
[sighs] Butterfingers.
[on phone] …try to open up this portal
to the land of the dead.
Here goes.
Ragna baragna mordefy!
It's an ancient spa! Huh?
[speaking in tongues]
[groans]
[speaking in tongues]
[screaming]
[whimpers] Think of the followers.
Think of the followers!
-[screams]
-Bobby!
-[Bobby whimpers] Romy!
-[speaking in tongues]
[Romy grunts]
[Bobby] No!
Not my phone!
[panting] Let's scram!
Agreed.
[both screaming]
-Doug, what the--
-Eyes on the road!
[both screaming]
[Romy panting]
[slurps] Ah!
[ringing]
What was that?
I know, right?
It was straight out of a horror movie.
Do you realize what this means?
Monsters exist.
Evil is real!
[imitating monster]
And it's hungry for your souls.
[both screaming]
Oh, this? It's just beets.
It's seniors' night.
Gotta blend up all their foods. [chuckles]
[all slurping]
-[glass shattering]
-I'll be right back.
[Bobby] Oh, no. My phone!
It's completely dead.
[groans] And I didn't take
any monster pics on my phone.
We gotta go back.
I'm-- I'm sorry, Romy.
But I, um-- I-I should probably go home.
Uh, hello?
We just proved monsters are real.
I know. But my mom might call.
I mean… [sighs] …birthdays are the one day
of the year where she, uh, kind of has to.
Right?
Today is your birthday?
[groans] I totally forgot.
I am the worst aunt ever.
It's no biggie, Jenny.
Uh-huh. Sure. Let me just borrow
your friend for a hot minute.
I don't need a party!
[whispering] We need a party.
You're on decoration.
I'll whip up some birthday crepes.
[Romy] Uh, none of
this stuff screams party.
Well, we get more funerals than birthdays.
Seniors party hard.
[speaking in tongues]
[creepy voice] Go get the boy.
[thunder rumbling]
[sighs]
[phone beeping]
Hi, Mom. It's me, Bobby.
Your son. [chuckles]
Well, uh, today is
the 5th of March… [clears throat]
…and I-I don't know
if you tried to phone or whatevs,
but my phone's broken,
so you can reach me at Aunt Jenny's.
Okay. Uh, bye.
[Romy whispering] Bobby. Bobby.
-Bobby!
-Hmm?
[coughing]
-You all right? You look like death.
-Yep. Never better. [gulps]
Come on, birthday boy.
There's a party waiting.
[all] Happy birthday, Bobby!
-I thought this was a funeral.
-Hmm?
Aw! [chuckles] Thanks.
It's so nice to see
so many wrinkled faces.
-[chuckles]
-Surprise.
It's a blank check.
Romy said it's what kids like these days.
Mmm.
Here you go. It's an IOU.
The kid version of a blank check.
Here's a lucky rabbit foot.
And a lucky rabbit tail.
And the rest of the lucky rabbit.
Oh, wow. A complete set.
That's, uh-- Thank you.
So, 13, hey?
Oof, now that's a scary age.
It's the year I met my first husband.
Hush, Mathilda.
We're talking about these two cuties.
They got cooties?
I, uh, better check on the purees.
Can't have any chunky bits in 'em.
Wait! That's my excuse.
[Bobby shudders]
That was one unlucky rabbit.
-[ringing]
-Hmm?
[thunder rumbling]
[gasps] The creepy rock.
The creepy man.
Huh? Count Grampula?
Oh, no, no. He-He's an angel.
[chuckles]
I'm talking about that guy. Doug.
The lighthouse keeper? What about him?
He was there when we found the rock,
and now he's here
with pictures of the rock.
Coincidence? I think not.
Uh, you're starting to scare me, Romy.
It's like you're seeing that
creepy rock everywhere you look.
Exactly. It's a spooky mystery.
Come on.
We need to get to the bottom of this.
It'll be a Doomies exclusive.
Sorry. But I'm calling a time-out
on any spooky stuff…
[electricity crackles, hums]
Including that.
Hmm.
[thunder rumbling]
[speaking in tongues]
[static]
[groans]
[sighs] Thanks.
What are friends for?
Oh, I'll tell you what they're for.
Helping other friends get
to the bottom of spooky mysteries.
You're still talking about Doug?
Look at him.
[mumbling] Demons. They're everywhere.
Gotta keep 'em at bay.
It's seniors' night. They're all mumbling.
Yes. But they're mumbling over puzzles,
not evil incantations.
Come on. I don't want to do this alone.
Besides, it's more fun
than waiting for a phone to ring.
No?
[Bobby] Hmm.
What's the plan?
Ding, ding, ding! Spy ball.
We'll use the pinball to totally spy.
-[clattering]
-[both] Hmm?
[Jenny] I need all hands on deck please!
[sighs] You go ahead.
I'll be right back.
[speaking in tongues]
[coin clatters]
[machine] Uh-oh!
Looks like I took the bait
and now that fish has my wallet.
-Hmm?
-Will you help me fish it back?
[speaking in tongues]
[Romy] Flour, eggs, milk.
[sighs]
Meh. Better quick than perfect.
Oh, you know what? Uh, how's Bobby doing?
-Yeah. Fine. Never better.
-[Jenny sighs]
Poor kid.
I really worry about him sometimes.
[machine speaking in tongues]
Evil. Insert tokens only.
He always puts on a brave face,
but his mom hasn't been home in months.
Yeah, there's always one that's doomed.
Congratulations on opening up
the gates to Subterra.
[cackling]
[groans]
[electricity humming, crackling]
[screams]
It has begun.
The dark forces are upon us.
Ah, pretty sure it's just a rash.
Beware the upcoming doomsday
that will annihilate us all!
-[all cheering]
-Yeah!
-It's the end of the world!
-End of the world party!
[Doug panting]
[grunting]
[cat yowls]
[Romy] No way!
You let the lighthouse keeper go?
We need to follow him.
He could be the key to everything!
But w-wait.
-My arm. It's--
-[phone ringing]
Hmm?
Mom!
[sighs] No. Sorry, n-no, wrong--
wrong number.
Yeah. No. Yep. Sorry for calling you mom.
Hey, wh-where did Romy go?
[door creaks]
Oh, well, more crepes for you.
Here you go.
Happy birthday, kiddo. [chuckles]
[speaking in tongues]
We're coming to get you, Bobby.
[screams] Crepes are coming to get me?
Uh, no. This isn't my real face.
It's just-- Oh, just forget it!
You're going to--
[screams] Ow, that stings.
[Bobby groans] I don't like it.
Wait. Come back here.
I'm not done with you yet!
[senior] Bring on the purees.
-[all cheering, laughing]
-[electronic music playing]
[Bobby panting] Hmm?
[electronic music continues]
[speaking in tongues, growls]
-[screams]
-[seniors cheering, laughing]
[stammers] What do you want with me?
We answer the call of evil.
Are you sure it wasn't a butt-dial?
Silence! Your soul is ours now!
[Bobby screams]
[sighs] Why does he have to keep running?
[panting, grunts]
[pants] Hmm?
Romy! [screams]
[Fog-Monster speaking in tongues]
[pants] I think
something followed us back,
and-and-and now it wants to eat me!
[shushes] Look, the lighthouse keeper.
Oh, I knew he was up to something.
Okay, that's spooky.
But there's something
way spookier chasing me.
Romy!
I'd like to redeem this
for help with that!
[growls]
No way! There's a monster chasing you?
Watch out!
Okay, let's focus on surviving.
[both panting]
You can row, but you cannot hide, Bobby.
[thunder rumbling]
What's the plan?
[panting] Uh, hide?
You wanna use the fog
to hide from a fog monster?
[panting]
[Fog-Monster speaking in tongues]
Huh? Hmm.
[gulps]
What is that thing?
And how come it knows your name?
Uh, long story short, I think we really
did open up a gateway to Subterra,
and now monsters wanna eat my soul.
For real?
I think so.
At least that's what the possessed pinball
told me, and the evil crepes.
Why didn't you say anything?
I-- I don't know.
I-I guess I was so focused
on waiting for that phone to ring
that… [sighs]
…nothing else really mattered.
[sighs] I'm sorry about your phone call
and everything else.
I should have been there for you,
especially on your birthday.
Since we're sharing everything, uh,
something weird's
been happening to my body.
[groans] Yeah. It's called growing up.
What? No, it's my arm.
It's-- It's glowing.
[Romy] Hmm.
Have you tried, uh, peeing on it?
[Bobby] Pretty sure that's
for jellyfish stings. Not evil curses.
Found you.
Jump!
[both scream, grunt]
How are we gonna stop
a monster made of fog?
-[horn honking]
-[Bobby] Hmm?
[honking continues]
With a tour bus.
[scoffs] That's for tourists.
We deserve the real deal.
You go get the foghorn ready.
I'll keep the monster busy.
It's my time to shine.
I've got you now!
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
B-B-B-Before you eat me,
let me quickly tell you about all the
other fun things to do in Ouimper.
Huh, big guy? Yeah. Okay. Cool.
So, uh, the-there-there's
the Sail Sale Yard.
Ooh, a ship shop
that doubles as a chip shop.
[chuckles] Get it?
Oh, come on. Foghorn. Foghorn.
Oh, and the anchovy factory tour
is a must.
Well-Well, unless you're into bigger fish.
[Fog-Monster] Enough!
No more waiting.
The time has come to drag you back to--
[chuckles] Romy!
"To activate the foghorn,
press all the buttons."
Seriously?
-[grunts]
-[beeping]
-Huh?
-[fog horn blows]
[Bobby screaming]
[muffled pants] Did it work?
[muffled] I don't know
if you just said something,
but it totally worked!
[chuckles] Fools.
I am indestructible!
I wouldn't bet on that.
Huh?
[thunder rumbling]
Who are you?
I'm the one taking names.
[rock music playing]
[both gasp]
You dare challenge me?
[growls]
Who is that?
[gulps] No idea.
[sniffles] But that was my foot.
[growls]
No!
[song ends]
Huh?
[screams, gurgles]
[both grunt, scream]
Nice.
That was the coolest thing
in the universe!
You were like-- You were like kapow!
And the monster--
The monster was like, "Oh, no."
[gags, chuckles] And the--
Wait, what's your name?
I'm Romy, by the way. Selfie. [chuckles]
[grunts] Ugh,
should have turned off the flash.
Hmm?
Wow. Mysterious and cool.
Did you see
how she pulverized that monster?
Nope.
I've got literal chills right now.
Hey, how's your arm?
I guess it vanished with the monster.
Whoo-hoo! I'm not cursed!
[phone chimes]
Any news from your mom?
You know what? I'll check later.
Thanks to you, Jenny
and a bunch of grannies,
I had quite a day.
You were right.
It was more fun
than waiting for a phone to ring.
So, what now? More monsters?
[Romy] Meh,
the creatures of doom can wait.
We've got crepes to finish.
[Bobby] I've kind of gone off crepes.
Wouldn't say no to cake though.
The monster, the lighthouse keeper,
that mysterious warrior.
Mm-hmm. Everything's gotta be linked.
I mean, what if we really
did open a gateway to Subterra?
What, with that silly tourist pamphlet?
Nah, it's just some made-up fun. Right?
[phone rings]
[on answering machine]
Hello. You've reached Jenny's.
Sadly, we're not in right now, but leave
a message after the beep. Beep.
[phone beeps]
[Fog-Monster] Hello? Uh-- [clears throat]
[in creepy voice] We're still coming!
Oh, I'm so sorry, but seniors' night
is over. There's always next time.
Okay. See you then. Bye-bye.
That's definitely
not normal puberty stuff.
[thunderclap]
[theme song playing]