The Iris Affair (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
-Still no?
-Still no.
-Hey!
-Listen Teo, was it?
I honestly don't want this to
happen, but it is going to
unless Iris helps me
get into this briefcase
without damaging the contents.
So, do me a favour
and ask her for me.
Monica
please do as he says.
That's not my name.
I am sorry, Teo, I really am.
But he can't be allowed
to have what he wants.
Miss Brook, please don't let them.
That's not my name. And shush now.
No.
Please stop.! Stop! Leave him alone.
She's right. Stop!
How can you not care?
I don't know. I just
-don't!
-That is not true!
Oh, for God's sake, Cameron,
don't be preposterous.
-Miss Brook.
-Calm down, everything is fine.
-Everything is not fine!
-Come on, Iris!
Pull the trigger, or don't,
nothing changes.
Miss Brook!
Infinity minus one, Joy.
Don't be afraid.
Oh, that is such bullshit.
It's just a position she takes.
Even she doesn't believe it.
I can assure you
she very much does.
Please don't shoot.
Please don't kill me.
Miss Brook
She's right, I can't.
You do it.
No!
'Here Comes That Day
'Oh, here comes that day
'Oh, here comes the rain
on your parade
'There's a price to pay
'For a life of insincerity
'And you pretend
'That it doesn't matter
'And that you're not scared
'Oh, here comes that day
'Oh, here comes that rain
on your parade.'
SARDINIA, ITALY
THE DAY BEFORE
This is Two Seconds To Midnight
and I'm Alfie Bird.
Those who have checked out
the conspiracy sphere
will already know we have had
a slue of Iris sightings recently.
Grainy photographs
from all over the world
showing women who might,
just possibly might, be her.
All over the world,
at the same time.
I mean, does that feel like
a disinformation campaign to you?
Almost like someone is trying to
make us look in the wrong places.
And who'd be doing
something like that?
Could it be someone
who don't wanna be found?
Like for instance,
someone in hiding.
We only know one thing for certain.
With the reward now standing
at four million Euros
the real question is
"who's gonna find her first?"
Buongiorno.
Buongiorno.
English?
-Si.
-OK.
Would you mind stepping
back from the edge for me, please?
Why?
All I'm doing is looking at the sea.
What's that in your hand?
Give it to me, please.
Whoa!
-Easy.
-Ugh!
And to your knowledge, has
she done this kind of thing before?
Not that I know of,
but I will talk to her about it.
And, erm, for the paperwork,
you are?
I'm Joy's tutor. Harriet Brook.
And you live here?
No. I'm here Mondays, Wednesdays
and every second Friday.
When will her parents
be back home?
Guardians.
They're expected this evening.
Paris. Wedding anniversary.
Nice.
I'm sure they'll be in contact
immediately, when they return.
I don't want to be rude,
but I really do feel
I should be attending to Joy.
Here are my details
if you need them.
Thank you so much.
So, I suppose you were
hoping to get their attention.
No.
I wasn't doing anything.
-Good. Cos it wouldn't have worked.
-I was just looking at the sea.
Why not?
Because they
don't like you very much.
-That's not
-What?
-a thing you can say.
-I don't see why not?
And, anyway,
the funny thing about trying
to erase yourself from existence,
is
it can't be done.
-That's definitely not true, is it?
-Oh, it definitely is.
-Sylvia Plath. That other woman.
-Yes.
But the thing is,
the universe is infinite
and in an infinite space containing
a finite number of particles,
any possible arrangement
of those particles
must occur infinitely often.
Which means that there
are infinitely many you's out there
and infinitely many me's.
Right.
So?
So
if I were to slice open my carotid
artery right here and now
that would end
this particular reality for me.
-Stop now!
-But it doesn't matter.
Because infinity minus one
is still infinity.
Which means all those
infinite versions of me
would never experience that death.
So, I don't die. Because I can't.
The maths say so.
There is no murder, Joy,
and there is no suicide.
The mathematics say
you have to exist.
So, the trick is to embrace
that existence
and enjoy yourself.
There, now.
Who says maths can't be fun?
The parcel arrived a month ago
Was picked up
a certain Myrna Loy.
-Probably not her real name.
-Probably not
Did she give an address?
No.
The parcel was
meant to be picked up.
It's Monica.
Hi.
ROME, ITALY
Shit.
Shit, what?
-Shit.
-You said it.
They won't get an open coffin.
Looks like death
was caused by an accident. Damn it.
We'll be running out of body bags
before we run out of assholes.
Morning boss, how's the head?
As if it's been kicked by a donkey.
What do we have here?
Two traitors, tied up with wire.
Fingers, nose,
toes and tongue cut off.
You found her.
Where was that taken?
Six weeks ago at
a freight yard in Cagliari.
She picked up a telescope.
You can go, thank you.
-An address?
-Not yet.
There are several options.
A place near
Alghero looks promising.
Bernardo has gone to take a look.
Great.
If we go about it the right way,
it's a shitload of money.
We have to stay here
and solve the Emo case.
You go to Alghero with Bernardo.
You can't be seen.
Take the tourist ferry.
Find Iris Nixon.
Take her and do the deal.
Sell her to anybody
who is interested.
What's on your mind?
Nothing. Why?
I suppose
Why do we have to keep meeting here?
Well,
we could always go to your place.
Yeah.
It's just
I haven't even seen
your apartment.
I feel like I don't know
anything about you.
Well,
there's basically nothing to know.
Well, that's just not true.
Why do you say that?
Have you been sniffing
around my life?
Have you been following me?
Of course not! Jesus, Monica!
You're just very private.
I mean
do you have brothers, sisters?
Have you ever been married before?
-Do you like movies?
-Honestly, who cares?
I do!
God, you need to stop this, Teo,
you really do.
Why?
Because whoever you think I am,
I'm not.
I wish I was, sometimes, but
I'm just not.
Well, you know,
everyone is hiding something.
Right?
The truth is,
we don't know much about her.
Just that she was nobody much
from nowhere much.
A woman with a brain
the size of a planet.
Just drifting from
low-paid job to low-paid job
without ever being noticed.
And that she was addicted
to solving puzzles.
Quizzes. Cryptic crosswords.
Ciphers. Sudoku. Escape rooms.
Until
"Well, she followed a mysterious
online treasure hunt to Florence."
And disappeared
Completely vanished.
TWO YEARS EARLIER
Iris?
Iris, is it?
Welcome!
I'm Cameron.
Do you want a seat?
Thank you.
I know who you are.
I read, er, Wired Magazine.
Well, actually, I don't,
but I know who you are.
-Do you know what I do?
-Not really. Well
I mean, sort of. You're, basically,
like a venture capitalist,
kind of thing.
I'm an investor.
A private investor.
I don't want to be rude,
but isn't that just a nicer
way of saying "venture capitalist?"
No.
Er, it's a grown-up way of saying
"I'm excited by big ideas".
-And money, presumably.
-No, money's not the point.
Money's a by-product that enables me
to keep doing what I love.
Which is what?
Helping brilliant people
do brilliant things.
Speaking of which, congratulations
on winning this treasure hunt thing,
-which you just did, obviously.
-Thank you.
And by a long way.
Days, actually.
Do you have any idea
how many people took part?
-Nope.
-Guess.
-Twelve.
-17 thousand!
Give or take.
And that includes teams
from Oxford and Stanford,
crypto-security freaks,
obsessives, hobbyists, nut jobs.
But here you are.
So
Yes?
Do I win something?
-Like what?
-I don't know.
A chocolate factory?
Where's it come from,
this aptitude with puzzles?
I don't know.
I never gave it much thought.
Ah, I'm not sure
I believe you there, Iris.
It seems to me you probably give
everything a lot of thought.
Fine.
-Give me a number.
-Between what and what?
-Any number. Just a number.
-1,729.
1,729 is the smallest number
expressible
as the sum of two cubes
in two different ways.
OK.
Wow.
I can't take any credit for it.
It's just how I was born.
Born where and to whom?
Nowhere much, to no-one much.
But I would imagine
that you know this already.
What with all the due diligence.
So, you're a self-made woman.
Who owes her
lack of success to nobody.
You could be out there
earning millions!
Yeah, but to tell the truth
I've never been
all that interested.
But you know this whole
treasure hunt thing
was, essentially, a job interview,
right?
I mean, you must.
I like to recruit outliers.
And what an outlier's outlier
you are!
Listen, erm
I really appreciate the interest,
and everything,
but I'm not the person
you're looking for.
I haven't told you what it is yet,
or what it pays.
It won't matter.
-Jobs and I don't mix.
-Why? You get bored?
Partly.
Is it a compulsion, then,
solving puzzles?
Listen, I'm not a Rubik's Cube,
Cameron. I'm not a crossword puzzle.
-You don't get to solve me.
-No. I'm not trying to solve you.
I'm just trying to get you
to come and work with me.
-Doing what?
-Solving just, er
an incredibly difficult puzzle.
Something no-one's been able to do.
What kind of puzzle?
One that matters.
"Matters" is a relative term.
Some people think jazz matters.
Well, we're talking
Newton-level matters.
Einstein. Oppenheimer.
Fundamental nature
of underlying reality.
"Seeing the face of God" matters.
I'm really not interested.
My God, your pants are so on fire.
OK, look
this is what I think we should do.
Come with me, see it for yourself.
And if it is still a no
well, then, I tried.
SLOVENIA
So, is this your evil lair?
Pretty much. It's called Caliburn.
-Do you actually live here?
-Most of the time,
believe it or not.
It used to be some kind
of government listening station.
The living quarters are upstairs.
They are quite snazzy, actually.
So, what are you hiding down here?
-We call him Charlie Big Potatoes.
-Why?
Well, he's not small potatoes.
It's just a name.
No, it's not that.
You're diminishing it
because it frightens you.
Yeah, he does a bit.
So, what exactly is it?
He's a topological quantum device.
Operating at very close
to room temperature.
What does it use for Qubits?
Majorana zero-mode quasiparticles.
That's a complex configuration
Of electrons that can't suffer
random errors. I know.
Yeah.
And what about those things, the
excrescences?
-They look organic.
-Almost, but no.
He's using non-organic polymers
to create neural pathways.
Capable of creative thought.
It's growing its own brain.
Well, we've all done it.
What's the use case?
To think thoughts
that have yet to be thought.
What's the equivalent
processing power?
Say, two million Qubits.
That's not possible.
Well, like I say, brilliant people
do brilliant things.
He's world-changing.
He is before and after.
He's the wheel.
Not long ago, he came up with a cure
for acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.
We asked him how he felt about it.
What did it say?
He didn't say anything.
He sang.
So, what's wrong with it?
And what's
the puzzle that needs solving?
He's asleep.
And I need you
to wake him up for me.
SARDINIA, PRESEN
When where you planning
on telling us?
About what?
-About the police?
-What police?
The police who drove you home
this morning.
-Who told you that?
-Signora Antonio.
She's a liar.
She's a perfectly nice woman,
actually.
And why would she lie?
Because she doesn't like me?
Has it ever occurred to you
we could just call the police
-and ask them what happened?
-Whatever.
What's the point,
if you don't believe me anyway?
OK. That's enough. Can you
Can you go and do something useful,
please.
She needs to see someone.
Who's left? An exorcist?
This is Two Seconds To Midnight,
and I am Alfie Bird.
Check out the
increased activity on the
Find Iris Nixon crowd funding page.
The last time I looked,
the metre stood
at just under 4.1 million euros.
Someone pledged additional,
wait for it, 200 grand.
Oh, Cameron. Just stop.
It almost makes me wonder
Arghh!
Agh!
Arghh!
Agh!
Agh!
Agh!
-No!
-Are you alone?
Are. You. Alone?!
-Argh!
-Good. Excellent, you are.
Argh!
Agh!
-OK.
-Agh!
Argh!
Do you speak English?
Do. You. Speak. English?
OK.
I'm getting a bit bored here. So, I
think I'm gonna cut off your penis.
Ah.
You do speak English, good.
Let's not worry about your penis
for the moment.
Let's put your penis
on the back burner.
Let's just,
leave your penis where it is.
-Agh!
-So, here's the good news.
You found me.
The bad news is:
is that even if
I don't cut your throat,
bleeding and shock is gonna kill you.
So, is that how you
want your evening to end?
Good. So how about this?
I'll do something about the bleeding.
And you're gonna tell me
what you're doing here,
who do you work for
and how many of you there are?
How's that sound?
Si.
-Si!
-Va bene.
Hey.
Stay.
Argh!
Shit.
Ugh!
Vaffanculo!
Three, two
Oi!
SLOVENIA
TWO YEARS EARLIER
And this is Charlie's creator -
Jensen.
Jensen's got a brain
that's off the scale.
Eh, Jensen?
Off the scale.
What happened?
Mani.
Genius is madness on a good day.
Jensen ran out of good days.
He mustn't wake up.
He mustn't wake up.
He gave Charlie everything he had.
And I think he came
to hate him for it.
And he's been like this ever since.
All we need to get the machine up
and running again,
is to enter an activation sequence.
A password, basically.
Well, yes, except it's an extremely
complicated password.
That Jensen enciphered in this.
It's his diary.
Using an encryption system,
that only he understands.
And nobodies being able to break it.
Have they, Jensen?
Not yet!
So, if you can decipher
the password,
we can get Charlie operational
again, and
Bob's your uncle.
So, why all the sneaking
around with treasure hunts?
Why not advertise the job
like a normal human being?
Because nobody can know about this.
Not under any circumstances.
Not ever.
I got carried
away by the possibilities.
I burned through my capital,
over leveraged.
So, I had to go and find the money.
A silent investor.
-What kind of investor?
-Well
you know the sort of investor
where you can borrow
several billion US dollars
in exchange for exclusive access
to a piece of technology
that's gonna make them even richer,
but when you don't deliver,
they basically laugh it off
and chalk it up to experience
and don't murder you in terrible,
terrible, unimaginable ways?
Yeah?
That's not the sort of investor
I went to.
I need you to wake Charlie up
for me, Iris.
Or they're gonna kill me.
Ugh!
Ugh!
There's no murder, there's no
suicide, not mathematically.
There's no murder, there's no
suicide, not mathematically.
Urgh!
Ugh!
Urgh!
Don't ask who we are.
All you need to know is,
we've found Iris Nixon's place.
And we want your money.
Do you have Iris?
Not yet.
I want to see the money in escrow.
When she returns,
we'll bring her in.
Let's make this simpler for you.
What we need you to do is find
a book she stole from us.
What kind of book?
If you can find this,
the money's yours.
A disc.
Hey!
Iris Nixon! Stop!