Chainsmoker Cat (2026) s01e02 Episode Script

I'm out of smokes.
Everything's getting blurry.
I need my nicotine fix.
Hey there, Yani Neko!
I'm the Cigarette Fairy.
I'm here to rescue a poor Beastfolk soul
who's fallen victim to nicotine.
You perv!
I'm trying
to tell you something important.
Listen, Yani Neko.
You're clearly suffering
from nicotine withdrawal.
Cigarettes should be enjoyed
in moderation.
I am enjoying it in moderation!
Your reaction tells me otherwise.
Okay.
Something has to change.
I will teach you
the Nicotine Receptor Workout.
NICOTINE RECEPTOR WORKOU
Her hair tie be covered in smoke
Her mother's lungs be full of smoke too
So smokey, so smokey
It be too late to cry after it's over
Here we go
Here we go, here we go
Is it working?
Stop! Don't let the nicotine win!
You shouldn't shake that tasty ass
in front of me, then.
Damn it!
Why doesn't this taste like cigarettes?
Why would I?
In the end, I'm just
Hey.
Yani Neko,
here's the community bulletin board.
In the end,
I'm just a figment of your imagination.
Yani Neko?
That can't be. I can definitely feel it.
It's all just an illusion
your brain is showing you.
That can't be.
That can't
The smell of smoke.
The feel of hemp.
The reflection of the sunset.
The train whistle in the distance.
I'm trapped here.
I'm always with you.
Now, back to the workout.
Hey, Yaku Neko.
I need nicotine, give me a cigarette!
Hey, Yani.
Sorry, I'm actually out of smokes too.
Liar. You're smoking one right now.
What, this?
That's not a cigarette?
No, of course it is.
Then gimme.
But!
Don't be so stingy!
Remember how I gave you cigarette butts
when you were broke?
Yani.
You're so ungrateful.
What the hell, this tastes awful!
You're doing it wrong.
You have to hold it in before you exhale.
Otherwise, none of the chemicals
will get absorbed.
This is a cigarette, right?
Of course.
Okay, this isn't too bad.
Right? Do you want some ice cream?
It'll taste really good
if you have some now!
This is a cigarette?
Of course.
Chainsmoker Cat.
CONTAINS MAD BEAST PROPHYLACTIC
Looks like it's this time of year again.
I hate how this medicine tastes,
like disgusting herbs.
Yaku, you home?
What are you doing?
What's up, Yani?
I want to take this mad beast medicine.
Could I have some water?
They shut off the water in my apartment.
This is a vaccine!
I didn't ask.
VITAMINS, LAXATIVES, PHONE CARDS, SYRINGES
LOZENGES, WATER, HERBALS
You're not doing
some weird drugs again, are you?
Of course not!
You know I've gone straight! Come on!
If you won't believe me,
then I truly am alone!
I thought I could rejoin society
after turning my life around.
Give me a break here!
Actually,
why are you so concerned about me anyway?
Hold on,
are you a narc?
That's some disguise! Give me back Yani!
Calm down! Take a deep breath!
My life is a mess because of you!
Take off that disguise!
Revelio!
YAKU NEKO IS INCREDIBLY BAD
AT PROVING HER INNOCENCE
Chainsmoker Cat.
That was hilarious.
You two there.
PALM READING - 2,000 YEN
The barkeep was a riot.
I didn't expect him to show his ass there.
You two Beastfolk.
Want your palms read?
That's expensive!
It's gonna be lame anyway.
I'll do it for 100 yen.
I don't hate
taking down cocky customers like you.
You're a fortune teller?
You only have to pay the 2,000 yen
if you think my reading is legitimate.
You got a deal.
Let's see.
Yuck!
Do you even wash your hands?
You're a smoker, aren't you?
Not only that, you're an addict
who causes trouble for your family.
You live alone in a rundown apartment
because you don't have a job.
And
you'll die of lung cancer
within five years!
Or in a fire.
Now, now. It's just a fortune reading.
Here, smoke a cigarette and calm down.
Sounds like I was right.
You're next.
Show me your hand.
I'll do it for 100 yen.
Me?
I don't really believe
in this sort of thing.
Besides, aren't fortune readings
just that Barnum effect thing?
Or just making deductions from information
like you did with Yani.
Do you do illegal drugs?
No.
Do you have an arrest record, then?
No.
No house searches either?
Never.
Really?
Really.
It doesn't make sense.
How can a palm reading be so specific?
I mean, not that any of that is true!
Whether you believe it or not
is up to you.
If you don't like it,
just leave 100 yen and get lost.
Hey!
Chainsmoker Cat!
Yani.
- Yeah?
You're not gonna work?
We're not at that point yet.
My part-time job pays by the day.
Do you want to come with me?
Listen, Yaku.
Take a look at that cloud.
That's what I'm going to be.
Something free, not bound to anything.
That's how I want to be.
Mere hunger can't rob me of that freedom.
That was so freaking badass!
It's like you don't give a crap
about anything!
Well, even if I were a cloud,
I'd start working if I ran out of smokes.
When that time comes,
then you can hook me up with a job.
Of course! I'd get you
on the schedule the same day.
Yani is so freaking cool today.
Just like she was when I first met her.
That's right.
I admired her so much.
The way she was free just like a cloud.
Open up! Hook me up with a job!
You sleeping?
You better not be fucking high right now!
Get the fuck up already!
It's the middle of the night.
This is fucking serious.
I thought I had a carton left,
but that was last week!
I need money to buy cigarettes!
Hook me up
with a job I can start right now
that pays by the day.
Right, she's not a cloud, she's smoke.
RAGE
What a bullshit game!
Hame Neko! This game is total bullshit!
In a fighting game,
you lose when you get tilted.
You can't show your emotions.
You gotta stay cool
no matter the situation.
Got it?
The problem is that I can't do that.
Here, watch me play ranked.
RANKED MATCHES
I'll show you just how I reached Ul-Mas.
UL-MAS - ULTIMATE MASTER
Ready?
You lose! Bring it on!
All they did was spin the stick around.
You hungry, Yani?
Want to eat lunch?
I think I have some ramen packs.
RAGE
I've been meaning to tell you.
Don't smoke around my game system!
I'm sorry!
I'll kill you, you smoking bitch!
Then my slipper went flying.
No way.
- It's true.
You know, I've noticed
you're not all that beasty, Imoko.
You should act more like a cat.
Everyone's different.
Did you just meow?
Don't.
Your inner cat came out.
Poofy puppy!
It's my little sister.
What's up?
Are you heading home from school?
I didn't know you had a sister.
She's meowing like crazy.
So cute.
Give me some love.
I don't know this person.
ONE MOMENT PLEASE
STANDBY - HAME CHANNEL
JUST CHATTING: HAME IS GOING THROUGH I
Hey, everyone!
It's time for the Hame Channel!
Thank you all for coming.
So, anyway.
I've just been having the worst day today!
Yuck! Big bug!
No, stay away!
I hate bugs!
SEEMS STAGED
Big, meanie bug!
Okay, fine!
I'll just bring the vacuum cleaner.
Sorry, everyone,
I'm going to pause the stream.
HER VIBE'S ALL DIFFEREN
IT'S NOT PAUSED
THIS IS BAD
HAME! IT'S NOT PAUSED!
CLIPPED I
THIS IS BAD
HAME'S CUTE
THE CRANE FLY HAD A FAMILY
Why is my sister so embarrassing?!
So I guess you hate your sister.
I don't hate her!
So you love her?
Love?
My head
Sorry.
I guess it's complicated.
I'm
- Seriously, our bad.
I didn't know you could be this loud.
INTELLIGENCE
Coffee and cigarettes are a great combo,
but it ticks me off
how it makes me need to pee.
I mean, I wouldn't say it ticks me off,
but I get the needing to pee part.
I don't get it at all.
Are your bladders the size of a hamster's?
YUMMY COFFEE MILK
The hell you talking about,
you toilet fairy?
Fairy? What's that?
In high school,
she always ate her lunch in the bathroom.
We could never get her to come out,
so we started calling her
the Toilet Fairy.
I have been enchanted by Stinker Bell.
- Would you stop?
Stay back or the cursed mark will appear.
- Stop telling her about it!
What's wrong? Pain in the pucker?
- No!
I'll kill you!
But actually,
I'm an idol, and idols don't pee.
Unlike Yakuko.
You hear that, Yani?
I need you to hold her down.
What?
Vibrator attack!
Wait, hold on!
Stop!
So you do pee. Idol, my ass.
This frog-looking loser
is the toilet fairy's true form.
Fucking gross.
I'll kill you!
That's so salty!
You fucking junkie!
That's the taste of life!
I'm sorry! I'm gonna puke! Stop!
Puke then!
I wish they'd stop trashing my room.
Chainsmoker Cat.
NYAGAMIHARA CITY HALL
BEASTFOLK CITY NYAGAMIHARA
I'm here at city hall today.
Number 385.
- Are we up yet?
Hame Neko came
to give herself a last name.
She doesn't have one
because her parents are both Beastfolk.
Apparently, she had five points deducted
from every test because of it.
All done!
Look, Yani!
It's my new last name!
HAMEKO EASYGOINGANGEL
What is this?
Cute, isn't it?
Starting today,
I'm Hameko EasygoingAngel!
Nice to meet you!
It's pretty freaking weird.
It's also long and hard to say.
Are you kidding me?
I doubt anybody
is going to call you by it.
That's so mean!
I actually don't know your last name.
I bet it's weird, isn't it?
It's Sato.
That's so normal!
I hear it's a lot harder
to change your name a second time.
So now's your chance to reconsider.
It's fine! I'm going to submit it.
What about Hameko Tanaka?
Never!
BEASTFOLK DEPARTMEN
Okay, everything's in order.
We'll mail you the documents later.
After they arrive,
please bring them back here,
and we'll update your ID.
Hame EasygoingAngel
is an easygoing angel.
Oh crap. I need to go to the bathroom.
Need to poop?
No!
What should I do about this?
Let me take a look.
What is this last name?
Well, a lot of Beastfolk
pick strange names.
This symbol in the middle.
What do you think it is?
She left before I could check with her.
What indeed.
We can't register symbols.
It's not a butthole, is it?
You're right. That's an anus.
Should I enter it as "anus" or "butthole"?
Neither sounds good.
What about "anal"?
BUTT SHOWER
Maybe I'll do a stream to celebrate
my new last name when I get home.
Hameko EasygoingAngel!
EASYGOINGANGEL
EASYGOING ANAL ANGEL
Today, Hameko Easygoing Anal Angel
was born.
Subtitle translation by: Zensho Yamamoto
THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.
UNDERAGE SMOKING AND DRINKING
IS PROHIBITED. DO NOT IMITATE.