D-Frag! (2014) s01e02 Episode Script

[KAZAMA] No, like I said--
you've got it all wrong!
I swear, it was a completely
honorable battle!
Yes, honorable!
[KAZAMA] We weren't lookin'
in on those girls--honest!
[ATARU] Sir, what sort of
mountebanks do you take us for?
[KAZAMA]
What he said!
[ATARU]
Be merciful!
You went in the locker room.
Right in through the window.
[KAZAMA & ATARU]
Uh-huh. That did happen.
Pervert.
[KAZAMA & ATARU scream]
[KAZAMA]
No, I'm not!
It was just a dream.
But I did get suspended,
so yeah, there's that.
[TAKAO] I thought the club
was finally getting shut down!
So why haven't
they been disbanded?
This doesn't make any sense!
Well, we got ourselves
a new member.
Our head-count's
kosher now, so
we can keep chugging along
for the time being an--
Give it back, Takao. Geez.
Kenji Kazama!
Let's drink a toast
to the survival
of the Game Creation Club.
[ALL cheer]
Man, we dodged the bullet
on that one, didn't we?
Only because Roka lassoed
that one guy into signing up.
Huh, what was his name?
The Foot Freak.
The Foot Freak
Foot Freak,
yeah, that was it!
So how long did they kick him
out of school for, anyway?
Uh until next week?
He's back mañana.
Huh? No way!
But he's a peeper!
How'm I supposed to sleep
with you yelling all the time?
Oh, Teach, you can
sleep through anything!
Hmm. Do you
think he's gonna
show up for club
meetings or what?
I don't know for sure,
but I think he's a delinquent.
Doesn't really strike me
as the club member type.
Well, he signed his
name on the paper.
That's all I care about. He can
skip out forever if he wants.
[ROKA]
He won't.
One way or the other,
he'll be here.
[ALL THREE]
Uhh
[KAZAMA]
Did you get busted too?
I'm cool with
getting suspended.
I just wish it was for something
I actually did, y'know?
Aw, whatever.
[KAZAMA laughs]
[CAT meows frantically]
[KAZAMA yells]
[KAZAMA] Who the
hell're you guys?
[BLUE MASK] I think he
noticed us! What do we do?
[SMILE MASK] I'm kinda
winging all of this!
[KAZAMA] Wait--matching
costumes, but no plan?
[SMILE MASK] Just grab him!
Yeah, That works!
[ALL THREE]
Right!
[SMILE MASK yells]
Whatever your beef is
with me, bring it on!
[SMILE MASK laughs]
[SMILE MASK]
Now you can never escape!
[BLUE MASK] He's in
our clutches, Prez.
What's our next step?
[SMILE MASK] Uh, gimme a sec.
I'm working on it.
Whoa. I think I'm gonna hurl.
[ORANGE NOSE]
Oh, no!
[SMILE MASK pants]
[SMILE MASK]
Too much spinning!
[ORANGE NOSE] Maybe I
should rub her back a bit.
[BLUE MASK] No!
She'll just barf more!
[SMILE MASK]
Haven't barfed yet, thank you!
[KAZAMA]
I asked you a question!
[SMILE MASK] We are
the one and only!
[ORANGE NOSE]
Be strong, Pres!
[KAZAMA] I don't like not
knowin' who I'm dealin' with!
[SMILE MASK]
Huh?
Lose the masks before
I kick your lame asses
into another time zone!
[SMILE MASK]
I'm taking it off!
You're messing with
the Game Creation Club!
[KAZAMA] No! Not the
Game Creation Club!
Huh? Wait, you guys aren't them.
I just joined that outfit.
All you joined were
a bunch of fakers!
Huh? Say what?
Yeah! We're the real
Game Creation Club!
That other group just swiped
our name and ran off with it!
[KAZAMA] Augh! I just signed my
life away to those crazy chicks!
No wonder that whole
thing seemed so sketchy!
Man, I got played!
Hey, Sakuragaoka,
is he crying over there?
Like a baby.
It's your chance, Takao!
Go for the jugular!
Perhaps you're right, Inada.
Yeah, tell him what
we expect him to do!
Listen up, you! Quit that
fake club immediately!
[KAZAMA]
Huh?
Once you drop out, those
impostors will get shut down
for lack of members!
[KAZAMA] Shut down?
No wonder she was pushy.
So what's your
problem with 'em?
What does it matter to you?
They were already supposed to
be getting shut down anyway!
But some idiot had to
go and mess it all up!
It's not like I wanted to join.
Fine! Then quit!
Get the hell off
my back already!
You're not the boss of me!
I've had enough.
I'm gettin' outta here.
[KAZAMA sighs]
[KAZAMA grunts]
Hey!
You're pissin' me off!
You look pretty angry
right now, but still
you wouldn't hit
a girl, wouldja?
I have complete faith in you!
And I believe that
you'll do the right thing!
[KAZAMA] Yeah, she annoys
the crap outta me!
But I'm not down
with punching chicks!
Uh Hey there.
I don't think that
we've been introduced.
Tell me. Are you really
a girl, or a dude?
You're so silly!
Of course I'm a girl!
[INADA] Aw, son of a!
Sakuragaoka looks like
a sweet little princess,
but he's got boy bits down
there! He's a pretty-boy!
No, he's the prettiest boy!
And when he pretends
to be a girl, it's so hot!
But if this Kazama
guy figures out
the truth about our
bishy little gem,
he'll knock his beautiful
butt unconscious!
[KAZAMA]
Hmm
You still doubt me.
So be it, then.
Would a boy walk around
in a schoolgirl uniform?
[TAKAO & KAZAMA gasp]
[INADA] What?!
He was wearing that under
his robe this whole time?
Sakuragaoka. Would you mind
modeling this for me?
Inada, cut it out.
You know I'm not into
that gender-bending stuff.
[INADA] After all my begging,
he finally reveals himself
in a dress.
But not for me! No!
For this this
hot-headed delinquent!
What a betrayal.
But I don't care!
[KAZAMA] Yeah, you're a
chick all right--sorry.
[KAZAMA] Two down, and I still
haven't punched anybody.
What the heck's
going on here, huh?
"What the heck's
going on here?" indeed.
[KAZAMA] Hey! Why're you
freaked out? They're your club!
I'm gonna call it a day.
I knew I forgot one!
Going by your build,
you've gotta be a dude!
[INADA] It's about to
hit the fan, big-time!
Sure, Yamada may
look like a huge slab
of uncaring testosterone,
but he's actually a big softie!
No way he can pass as a girl!
Soon as the mask's off,
Kazama's gonna clobber him!
[YAMADA]
Oh, silly-buns.
Of course I'm a girl!
[INADA]
A for effort, big guy!
You think I'd fall for that?
Worth a try!
Well, later.
[TAKAO] Nobody messes
with my club!
I'm the only one left, so I
guess I'll have to avenge them!
[KAZAMA] Not a good plan.
Seriously. Just don't.
Hey, Prez, I think I'm gonna
have to agree with him.
I agree with her
agreeing with me!
I'm not an idiot, Kazama.
When it comes to sheer strength,
technique and speed,
your stats outrank mine.
But I've got a cell phone!
One call to the police,
and you're gonna be
in a world of hurt!
[ALL THREE] The cops
are not a summon attack!
Your truth doesn't sound
as good as my lies.
One of us did just get
suspended for peeping.
Who do you think
they'll side with?
Hey! You can't
pull that crap!
We've got the sullen
ne'er-do-well on one hand,
and on the other,
the super-busty girl.
Huh?
It really is too bad.
If you were into big boobies
instead of feet, the Prez
could have defeated you
with nothing more
than her wobbly wobs!
Huh?
Stop right there!
Why the hell do you think
I have a foot fetish?
That is what Ms. Ohsawa
told you, right?
[TAKAO]
Uh, mm-hmm.
He's kind of a foot freak.
That's all I know about him.
[TAKAO]
Copy that!
Damn that teacher to hell!
He likes feet like that?
What about thighs and ankles?
Do calves do it for you?
Maybe stockings?
You wanna get tied up
in some stockings?
That push your buttons, huh?
[KAZAMA] Hell, no! I'm not
into feet, okay? I love boobs!
Time out. Did I really
just yell "I love boobs!"
at a bunch of girls?
So what you're saying is
you'd like to do "you know
what" to the Prez's chest!
I never said that! I don't even
know what "you know what" is!
[TAKAO trembles]
Hey! Stay away
from me, you perv!
[KAZAMA]
What is your problem?
Waah! The pervert's yelling
at me! Someone, help!
[KAZAMA] You're the one
who's yelling, dammit!
[brakes screech]
You really called
the cops on me?
[TAKAO] No! That was
just my clever bluff!
Then why are they here?
[POLICEMAN] Can we talk
to you for a second?
[TAKAO squeals]
I surrender!
Some lowlifes in robes have been
attacking people around here.
Have you kids seen anything?
[POLICEMAN gasps]
[POLICEMAN]
Better call the Chief.
Tell him we bagged a big one.
[CAT hisses]
We were just walking along,
minding our own business,
and we found this
guy on the ground!
Yeah! His buddies ran
off when they saw us!
It was the weirdest thing!
Heh heh In all the
excitement, I didn't notice
if they ran this-a-way
or that-a-way!
Gosh, Inada! How could you
miss something like that?
I'm a girl! And I felt
the girl-fear just then!
[CAT hisses]
[POLICEMAN] And that's
the whole story?
[ALL] That is 100%
what happened here.
[car engine starts]
Curse you, fake Game
Creation Club new guy!
[KAZAMA]
What?
[TAKAO]
We'll get you for this!
Hey, wait!
It's a fake club. Great.
[YAMADA laughs]
[KAZAMA]
Just great.
[CHITOSE laughs wickedly]
Face it! You are
powerless before me!
[ROKA braces]
But don't you fret!
You shall join your companions
in the afterlife soon enough!
Not on my watch!
[CHITOSE]
Ha!
[ROKA grunts]
[CHITOSE] One more attack,
and you'll be nothing more
than space carrion!
Die, die, die!
[ROKA cries out]
I'm about to clock out,
Kazama. But as long
as you're still alive, there's
a chance we can win this fight.
Knowing that, I think
I can die in peace.
[ROKA & KAZAMA struggle]
Hey! I didn't sign up
for crap like this!
[ROKA & CHITOSE]
Aww
[KAZAMA] I know you
guys are faking it,
but she really looks dead.
It's freaking me out!
Man, the floor's
so nice and cool.
[KAZAMA] Why are
you not teaching?
We were just about to
get to the good part.
[KAZAMA]
Of what?
Playing "Heroes Enduring
the Demon King's
Secret Space-Compression
Ritual." Duh!
How am I supposed to know?
I've never even
heard of that game!
You will be playing the part
of Hero's Son A. Good luck.
Why the hell would I want
to play a game I don't know
the rules to? That sounds
like the worst idea ever!
[KAZAMA pants]
What?
I'm really glad you're back.
Now that Kazama has
returned to school,
everybody is present
and accounted for.
It's time to figure out what we
want to do for the FuF Festival.
Hm, the what now?
The Fujou Academy Freedom
Festival, or FuF for short.
Oh! That sounds fun!
If we prove ourselves
at the festival
our club'll
be here to stay.
Wait! You actually do something
for the culture festival?
[ALL BUT KAZAMA] Of course!
We're the Game Creation Club!
[KAZAMA]
Right. Silly me.
Hey. Speaking of clubs,
there's something I
need to ask ya about--
You're not off the hook just
because you found a new member!
[KAZAMA] Crap!
It's that chick!
What's your
problem this time?
Huh? Wait, so you've
already met Takao?
[KAZAMA] Eh
Yesterday. It was crazy.
"Crazy," huh? Crazy 'bout those
boobs of hers, am I right?
[KAZAMA]
What? No!
Why does everyone
keep doing that?
You're the same
old Chitose, huh?
Oh, it's you.
[KAZAMA]
Hm?
[TAKAO] Hmph. Instead of making
games, you just sit around
and pig out on snacks.
I am so gonna shut you down!
Yeah? You an' what army?
I'm gonna uh
I um!
[KAZAMA] She's not very
good planning ahead.
Too bad we're gonna
shut you down first!
Wait!
[CHITOSE] Earth
elemental attack! Hya!
[TAKAO] Ew! You got
it in my mouth!
[SAKURA]
Water elemental attack!
[TAKAO gurgles]
[TAKAO] Stop it! I don't
wanna drown in a classroom!
Not gonna get your licks in?
Nah. I'm good.
Jeez, what kind of monster
do you take me for?
[KAZAMA] Lemme get back
to you on that one.
[TAKAO coughs]
Takao, are you all right?
Don't talk to me like
we're still friends,
you little traitor!
It sounds like someone is still
nursing a grudge against Roka.
How can you possibly
stay mad at this?
She's too freakin' adorable!
[TAKAO cries]
Enjoy your stupid
fake club while you can!
'Cause I'm shutting
it down ASAP!
[ROKA]
Takao, wait up!
Okay, why do we have
two Game Creation Clubs?
Well, there was some drama.
Between those two,
specifically?
Short version:
Takao hates Roka
for almost breaking up
her Game Creation Club.
How did she do that?
Well Roka was in her club,
back when she was a first-year.
What on earth are you
wearing on your head?
[ROKA] It's a bag.
Would you like to try it?
[CHITOSE] Not like it's news
to you, but Roka's a bit unique.
And unique isn't
exactly something
young people are
known for tolerating.
They gave Roka
the cold shoulder.
And when she realized how
weird they thought she was
That's when the darkness
came out, right?
Guess again. I was so pissed
off, I took care of 'em myself.
[scream]
[CLUB GIRL] The ground
is suffocating me!
[CLUB GUY]
It's cold!
Attendance at the meetings
took a major hit after that.
Roka thought it
was all her fault
and she dropped
out of the club.
You're the one
who buried them!
Shut up; there's
more to the story.
[CHITOSE]
Hey, Roka.
Whaddya think about making
a new Game Creation Club?
Yeah!
The only thing
I wanted to do
was help my best friend Roka
find a way to smile again.
Now that you know what's up,
you have to go after them!
Why is this my
responsibility?
Because I would only make
things weirder. And Sakura
I'd drown Takao
in a heartbeat!
[KAZAMA]
Of course!
[CHITOSE]
And Teach is
[KAZAMA]
Sleeping again?
How do I get myself
into these things?
Hmm I didn't realize this
whole thing was your fault.
[CHITOSE]
Eh
But if that's
really what happened,
why is Takao mad at Roka
instead of being mad at you?
[KAZAMA]
Uhhh
Real knock-down
drag-out they're havin'.
[TAKAO] You've finally come
to finish me off, huh?
No, I I just wanted
All you wanted to do
was give her that towel.
Hey! It looks like Roka wants
to apologize. Whaddya say--?
[TAKAO]
Oh, really?
You want to apologize, huh?
I, uh
Well, maybe it's too late
after all this time, okay?
You frustrate me so much!
You didn't even do anything
wrong, but you still
leapt at the chance to quit!
Don't tell me you're sorry!
You could've just stayed in
the club with me to begin with!
That's what all
this is about?
[TAKAO whimpers]
[TAKAO] You want a flier
for the Game Creation Club?
[TAKAO giggles]
[TAKAO]
Roka!
Some more people joined.
Now we have enough to
enter the tournament.
Wow, that's awesome!
And I know you're going to make
one heck of a game, Takao!
We could--!
[ROKA] Didja hear?
Chitose and I started a club.
I'm a club
president now, too!
[TAKAO] Oh.
You don't say.
Well, best of luck.
I'll see you later!
[TAKAO sniffs]
Your club's ridiculous, Roka.
Why do you care
what happens to it?
I put it together
with Chitose.
I can't just let
it get shut down.
Well, how do we move
forward from here?
[TAKAO]
Mm
There's no "we"!
My club against yours
at the festival!
If we win, your fake
club is finished!
And my club will absorb
all of your members!
[KAZAMA]
"Absorb"?
Why doesn't she just
say that she wants
to be in the same club?
Man, this chick is stubborn.
What should I tell her?
What do I care?
This isn't my battle!
You're in my club,
aren't you?
I want to know what you
think about all of this.
It's risky, but
at least then
you might be able
to get past all this crap.
Right now, you guys are
like a bad soap opera.
Win or lose, at least
it'll get sorted out.
I believe you are right.
I accept your challenge.
And may the best club win.
Fine. Until then!
Too late for
take-backs, huh?
Yeah. I think it is.
So, uh, you think
it's possible
we could win this thing, maybe?
Only one way to find out.
A club duel at the festival?
[SAKURA]
Best idea ever!
Not gonna lie, it sounds
like a whole lotta work.
Hey. How 'bout
a little support?
We gotta win,
'cause if we don't,
our club's gonna get
absorbed into Takao's.
Huh? If that happens,
where'm I gonna nap?
I still can't believe
that someone hired you.
[MINAMI]
Don't judge me.
[CHITOSE] Well, it would be
nice to finally settle this.
All we have to do
is beat 'em, right?
Uh-huh.
But I'm betting that you've
got something lined up.
So, what's the plan, Roka?
Well
What if we take
"The Demon King's
Secret Space-Compression
Ritual" and
And?
[ROKA]
Uh
The rest is kinda fuzzy.
[KAZAMA] Yeah.
We're toast.
[T & H] Behind
the Scenes Uranium!
Yeah, this sucks.
Not feelin' it, huh?
I thought readers would dig
how the meek
protagonist turns into
the mysterious Jaguar Potato
to earn cash for the orphans!
I still can't quite figure out
where the story went
off the rails, man!
Right when you named
him Jaguar Potato.
Besides, Alive needs
some girl characters.
[H] Huh?
But there is one!
The leader of the pro-wrestling
underworld, Madam Mariko!
[T] She's a troll!
We need to run with
something hip and trendy.
Ah! We do a manga about
game design! That is so hip!
[H] Yeah.
Not hip in the slightest.
I think we got a winner!
[T & H] Thus, the
manga was made!