Dan Da Dan (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

Liar! No way is that your name.
Honest to God, that's my real name.
Ken Takakura.
[screaming]
-No! I don't wanna hear it!
-Quick! The curse! It's back!
-Hurry, Miss Ayase! Use your power!
-[crying]
Let me gobble your dong!
[grunting]
[crashing]
-[groaning]
-[birds chirping]
[groans] Thanks. That's so much better.
Hm. I'm making a new rule.
You're never to say your name again.
[weakly] Okay?
[Momo] You like the occult,
so your new name's Okarun.
[Occult-kun] O… Okarun?
[Momo] If you use that other name,
I'll kill you.
[Okarun sighs] But…
but that's my real name.
Oh, well. I guess I'm okay with it.
Sounds like
you're more than okay with it… Okarun!
[Okarun] What? No! I hate it!
[Momo] Prove it. Show me your face.
-[giggles] I knew it!
-[alarm bell ringing]
You look happy, Okarun.
[farting]
[Momo] Eww!
Don't you go fartin' at me.
What kind of pig are you?
[Okarun] I can't help it!
You're putting all this pressure on me.
[Momo] Hang on a sec.
It's morning already.
Turbo Granny won't pop out now. I think.
[Okarun] Huh? Is that true?
[Momo] Don't ghosts
only come out at night?
Okay, you're comin' to my place.
I mean…
you look worse than a ghost.
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan ♪
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan ♪
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan ♪
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan ♪
[rap lyrics in Japanese]
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan ♪
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan ♪
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan
Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan, Dan Da Dan ♪
[squeaking]
[Momo] My grandma's strict
about boys in the house.
EPISODE TWO
THAT'S A SPACE ALIEN, AIN'T IT?!
-She almost killed my last boyfriend.
-Huh? Wait.
You're telling me now?
[both screaming]
[Momo] What the…
-[gasps] What the hell's goin' on?
-I'm burning up!
-Ah!
-[Okarun wailing]
[Momo yells]
[wails]
Hey, are you okay?
[gasps] Uh…
[wind howling, stone grinding]
Oh, it's that.
Sorry, Okarun. A barrier was up.
[whimpers] I thought I was gonna die.
[squeaking]
[Momo] Okay, you can come in.
A… are you sure it's safe to?
If you catch fire,
I'll just toss you in the ditch again.
-Come on.
-[Okarun grumbles]
[leaves rustling]
[gasps]
[grunts]
[straining]
[whimpering]
Oh… Huh?
Aah, I made it!
Safe!
[upbeat music playing]
How do you feel? Any different?
I got tingles running up and down my body.
Oh my God, what happened to your hair?
[laughs] It looks like an old-lady perm!
[gasps]
Stop it! It's not funny!
I almost burned to death a minute ago!
-Uh…
-[shuffling footsteps]
[Momo] Grandma?
Huh. I guess she's out.
Oh, well. Come up to my room.
[gasps]
Uh… right behind you!
[running footsteps]
[gasps]
[Momo] Hold it.
Close the door so I can change.
Oh. Sure.
KEEP OU
-[bang]
-[Okarun screams]
[whimpers]
-Miss Ayase, the curse is--
-Don't barge in!
I'm changing, jerk!
-[grunts]
-[yelps]
[Momo] Stay out and face the wall.
-[groaning]
-[birds chirping]
Right. My bad.
God, this is such a pain!
Hmm.
[hangers clicking]
Here.
These should work, Okarun.
They're my sweats, but they fit baggy.
[Okarun] Thank you.
So, what's it feel like
not having a junk anymore?
Huh? What? How do you think?
[wails] Sorry! I didn't see anything.
I'm dressed now.
[sighs]
Turn around.
Turbo Granny said you're cursed
'cause she stole your thingy, right?
So we should check
and see if it's really there or not.
[Okarun yelps]
-Hmm?
-[screeches]
-[growling]
-No way! Is it really gone?
What's it look like? Show me!
What are you, stupid? I'm not showing you!
If nothing's there, what's the harm?
It's not about if anything's there
or not, damn it!
Jeez. Don't be such a drag.
[Okarun] Oh, this sucks!
What am I supposed to do now, huh?
Don't get pissed at me. It's not my fault!
You're the one who dared me,
so it kind of is!
Huh?
I was minding my business when you came
running your mouth about aliens.
Me daring you was
the only way to make you shut up about it.
[Okarun] Oh…
[sighs]
I guess I didn't wanna miss my chance.
Hm?
I always wanted to have a friend.
And then, when you showed up,
I thought, "Here's my chance."
PO
That's why I was
so desperate to talk to you.
[gentle music playing]
[running footsteps]
But, in the end,
you live
in a totally different world than I do.
Folks like me shouldn't talk
to folks like you.
I'm so sorry.
It's 'cause of me you're in danger now.
When this is over,
you can go back to ignoring me.
-I won't mind.
-[sighs]
The only problem with you is
that you think like that.
You think you know about how people feel
and then go jumping to conclusions.
You wanna know why you don't have friends?
It's 'cause you push everyone away.
[Okarun sighs]
I won't ignore you 'cause you tell me to.
Who will I talk to
about weird paranormal things?
[Okarun breathing shakily]
Say something. Hello?
Poke, poke.
Bitch!
Huh?
What did you just call me?
You think I like
you calling out my faults?
-[growling]
-Could you be any more gauche?
-I don't even know what "gauche" means!
-[doorbell rings]
-[both gasp] Huh?
-[doorbell ringing]
-Should I be up here with you?
-That might be your grandma.
-Sh!
[whispers] That's not her.
I've never heard that doorbell before.
Why are we whispering?
Years ago, my grandma said
the house had two doorbells installed.
-One's for humans.
-[doorbell continues ringing]
The other's for…
evil spirits.
Crap! I didn't put the talisman back.
HOUSEHOLD SAFETY
[Momo] It'll only be off for a little bit.
[ominous music playing]
[Okarun yelps] It looks really big!
What are we gonna do?
I'll put the talisman back!
If it's evil, it'll catch fire like you.
[Okarun] But then I'll catch fire again!
[Momo] As long as you're off the property,
you'll be fine.
If you say so. Just make sure
I made it out before you put it back.
[gasps]
Where the hell is it? Did it leave?
-You see that? Over there!
-Oh.
[gasps]
Oh.
[energy buzzing]
[Momo] Uh-oh!
-Holy crap! We gotta get off the property.
-[Okarun whimpers]
-Go that way. Run! Go! Hurry!
-[yelps]
-Miss Ayase.
-What?
[eerie chanting]
-[Okarun] We're trapped.
-[thunder rumbles]
How do we get out with this wall here?
The torii gate.
I'll put the talisman back.
Whoa, hold on!
That would be a bad idea now.
What do you mean?
[Okarun] The gate's embedded in the wall.
And if I can't get out,
I'll be incinerated.
Damn it.
If we don't do something, we're screwed.
HOUSEHOLD SAFETY
AGAINST EVIL AND MISFORTUNE
[Momo] Uh, what the…
Okay, now we're in trouble.
[Okarun, croakily] Miss Ayase…
[spluttering]
Help… me…
What's wrong? Are you okay?
-Come on, show me.
-[squeals] It's blood!
[Okarun gasping]
[Momo gasps]
That black fog's doing this.
-Oh…
-[Okarun spluttering]
Oh…
I have found you.
You are bad humans.
You did not keep your promise!
[crash echoing, wind howling]
[both straining]
[thunder rumbling]
[monster roars]
[Momo yelps]
[both whimpering]
HOUSEHOLD SAFETY
AGAINST EVIL AND MISFORTUNE
[whimpers]
[gulps]
[both screaming]
[dynamic music playing]
[roars]
[wind whistling]
[both groan]
[monster growling]
-[both yell]
-[monster grunts]
BIG CATCH
[monster] Give me
your banana!
[both yelping]
-[Momo] What kind of evil spirit is that?
-[panting]
Wait. Banana?
Do you have another one down there?
No, of course I don't!
That's no spirit, that's an alien.
-What?
-There's no doubt about it.
That hood. It's a Flatwoods Monster!
They were first seen in America,
in a town called Flatwoods.
Later, they were seen here in Japan,
in Yamanashi.
They're usually three meters tall,
but this one's bigger.
[Momo] Okay, if it's an alien,
then how come the other doorbell rang?
It's only for evil spirits.
[Okarun] I read studies that said people
who see psychic phenomena
also see stuff like UFOs.
[rattling]
[Okarun] The facts seem to point to ghosts
and aliens having something in common.
[Momo] Then the aliens
from yesterday sent him?
Those stubborn jerks!
If we don't figure out how to deal
with him fast, that fog will kill us.
There's no way I can use my power to fight
that thing and keep a lid on your curse.
-[Okarun] Um…
-[gasps]
[creaking]
[explosion]
[both screaming]
[muffled groans]
[Momo] This is getting old!
[Okarun whimpers]
Huh?
[Momo] Huh?
Dang it.
[grumbles]
[straining]
[Okarun gasps]
Huh.
[crackling]
-Miss Ayase?
-I'm concentrating!
[Okarun] I'll fight that thing.
Let the curse take me.
You wanna do what?
If it's an alien, I'm not scared of it.
If you let the curse take my body over,
but not my mind,
I'll have the strength to fight.
-[monster growls]
-[both gasp]
[both spluttering]
[power surges]
[explosion echoes]
[glass smashing, debris falling]
[growls]
Holding your curse back ain't easy.
I barely even know how to use my power.
I know, if my head's clear,
I can control Turbo Granny.
I don't know if I can do it right.
-Just try it,
-[grunts]
[straining]
[power surges]
[wind howling]
[gasps]
[creaking]
[gasps]
-[wails] Miss Ayase!
-Give it to me!
[Okarun] Hurry, hurry, hurry!
[screaming]
[wailing]
[dynamic music playing]
[groans] Huh?
Yeah. I'm surging with power now.
Feelin' pretty gloomy, though.
[Momo] No! It changed his personality.
My head's clear as hell,
but, you know, I'm bummed A.F.
Why are you talking like that? Stop it.
Yeah, sorry. I'm an awkward guy, yo.
[yelps] Don't ever say that line again,
you hear?
I don't know why I'm alive.
-I'd be better off dead, yo.
-[crashing]
[Momo] Stop talking like that!
It's pissing me off!
[Okarun] Back in a sec.
Not sure I'll survive,
but, you know, whatevs.
[Momo] Hey, dummy!
Look out! It's attacking!
-Oh!
-[growls]
[Okarun] Damn.
I dodged without even thinking.
Turbo Granny powers rock, yo.
But I'm still bummed.
[grunts]
No way. I didn't even see him move.
Hell, yeah! You totally got this!
[rumbling]
[Momo] What the… What's going on with you?
[Okarun gasps]
[monster growls]
-[crash echoing]
-[Momo] Okarun!
-Give me your banana!
-Oh no! [grunts]
[groans]
-[whimpers] Are you okay?
-[coughing]
I can't do this.
My body can't handle the curse's power.
I feel like I'm gonna bust apart
into a million pieces.
Humans aren't made to move that fast.
I mean, all I did was
cut off five of its fingers.
How the hell are we supposed to kill it?
Tell me! How?
[Momo] Don't you go yelling at me!
I don't know!
If I did, we wouldn't be
sitting here arguing about it!
[gasps]
Is that a…
sumo pose?
[Okarun] What?
[Momo] Maybe we can beat it by making
its hand touch the ground. Maybe.
Miss Ayase, you are a genius.
Yeah. I know.
-[Okarun] I can survive one more try.
-[grunts]
[sighs]
You go for its legs.
I'll use my power to pull it the other way
and trip the bastard.
[Okarun] So bummed right now.
[Momo] I need to get closer,
so don't let it stomp on me!
-You got that?
-[Okarun] What a drag.
Give me your banana!
[Momo yelps]
[Okarun] Can't take it…
I'll hold the curse with my right hand,
and trip the big guy up with my left…
Take this!
-[Okarun] Ooh. What?
-[Momo] Sorry, Okarun!
[snarls]
All right! His hand's melting!
Exactly like we planned!
-[power zaps]
-[monster roars]
[Momo] You're kidding.
-[Okarun] Miss Ayase, run!
-[gasps]
[struggling]
-[monster growls]
-[Momo yelps]
[monster grunts]
[Okarun] Miss Ayase!
[straining]
Crap. Granny's taking me over.
I didn't change.
-[Momo] No.
-[gasps]
[Momo] You're such a pain to deal with.
Hey, sumo alien.
Your hand hit the ground just now.
You lost, you cheating scumbag.
Miss Ayase, hurry!
Release the curse on me again.
I don't care if it tears me apart. Do it!
[Momo] No, you take a break.
I'm gonna kick this thing's ass.
It totally cheated,
and I can't let it get away with that.
[Okarun] Wh… what are you talking about?
Nothin' pisses me off more than a cheater.
Bring it, wimp.
[roars]
[groans]
Leave her alone!
Is that all you got?
[Okarun] Please, Miss Ayase! You have
to let the curse take me again! Please!
I can't stand here and watch it kill you!
-[Momo, weakly] Nah. It won't.
-[gasps]
[Momo] We're good to go.
The crater's deep enough now.
From this position,
I'm outside the torii gate!
-[yells]
-[gasps]
[funky music playing]
[grunts]
[both grunt]
[roaring]
HOUSEHOLD SAFETY
AGAINST EVIL AND MISFORTUNE
[monster roaring]
[both gasp]
[silence]
[Momo whimpers]
[gasps]
It's gone.
We're safe now.
You hear that?
Everything's back to normal!
Look!
[Okarun, weakly] Oh, yay.
[groans] Oh man. For a sec there,
I thought we were goners.
-[yelps] The curse, the curse!
-[groans]
Jeez, will you let me catch my breath?
I swear, you're so high-maintenance.
I know, but I can't do anything about it.
Hm? Hang on. You change your hairstyle?
Oh, gimme a break.
Nah, it looks good like that.
I kinda dug the old-lady perm
more, though.
Then why'd you make fun of it?
Whoa! Suddenly, I'm all dizzy…
-Oh, crap…
-Huh?
-[thud]
-Miss Ayase?
Miss Ayase! Wake up!
-[crunching]
-[gasps]
[whimpering]
[wailing]
[straining]
Miss Ay…
[grunting]
[creaking and rattling]
[groaning]
[lively music playing]
[song in Japanese playing]
Any resemblance to actual persons
or organizations in this work of fiction
(Ken Takakura included) is coincidental.
[Okarun] In 1952, a mom, six boys, a dog
and a soldier saw the Flatwoods Monster--
[Momo] Yep. You looked better
with the old lady perm.
[Okarun] I'm telling a story!
[both] Next time!
"It's a Granny vs. Granny Clash!"
[Okarun] They're aliens
who are usually three meters tall!