Eternally Yours (2026) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Previously on Eternally Yours
So that we can be
together forever,
until the end of time.
-[hisses]
-[gasps]
CHARLES: This marriage
is literally never-ending.
You see, this is why
I only marry humans.
You have fun till they croak,
and then you get a new model.
How's that working out for you?
People are living
a little longer than they did
back in the day.
-Love you. [chuckles]
-I love you more.
BENJI:
Well, something is very weird.
You've been together two months,
she's never let you
come to her house?
My family, we're just
different.
-I'll understand, I promise.
-[knocks on door]
[both hiss]
-Oh.
-Max?
These are my parents.
I don't want you dating a human.
You are being so unfair.
How come he gets
all the good traits?
We're twins.
I mean, I'm half vampire, too.
Hey, we are working
on developing
some of your powers.
Come on, come on. Move, damn it.
Come on, Mort, let's go!
[Liz gasps, screams]
Max? Are you okay, Max?
What if we turn him
into a vampire?
That would fix this.
-He might pull through.
-Charles.
[gasps]
EMMA:
Max.
Max.
Hey, sleepyhead.
Emma?
-Where am I?
-You're at my house.
Um, Max, what do you remember
from yesterday?
Uh, I remember I found out
that vampires are real
and that you and your
whole family are vampires,
-which was a lot to process.
-Uh-huh.
There's still
a bit more to process.
Do you remember the accident?
-There was an accident?
-Don't worry.
It's not uncommon after trauma
for there to be some memory loss
around the event.
Speaking as
a medical professional.
-I mean, you're a vet.
-Oh.
You remember Mort.
He's one of the twin sons
of the other family in the coven.
-Sup?
-Hey.
Um, I'm sorry,
what-what accident?
-What happened?
-EMMA: Yeah, okay,
so you were accidentally hit
in the head with a marble bust.
MORT:
My bad.
Haven't quite mastered
the telekinesis thing yet.
Yeah, we actually didn't know
if you were gonna make it,
so to save you,
my dad bit you
and now you're a vampire.
-Excuse me?
-Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
You're undead, dude.
It really sucks.
-Not now, Mort.
-Get it? "Sucks."
'Cause you're a vampire?
[hisses]
-[screams]
-Oh.
Damn it, Mort.
We're gonna have to tell him
all that again, aren't we?
♪♪
EMMA:
So then I told him again.
And this time he didn't scream.
He just stared off,
went catatonic.
-It was creepy.
-LIZ: Well, it's a big change.
Honestly, for both of us.
I'm crazy about Max, but
we've been together six weeks,
and now Dad turns him
into a vampire?
-At your mother's request.
-He was going to die, Charles.
It's all just so zero to 60.
I mean, moving in?
It it's a lot of pressure
to put on a new relationship.
Well, that's the rules.
He's got to join our coven.
We broke him, we bought him.
In a way, we're all broken.
My boy. Deep.
MAX [cheerfully]:
Hey, everyone. Good morning.
Whoa, Charles, nice robe.
Looks soft.
Max, you seem oddly good.
Oh, because the whole
"me being a vampire" thing?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Well, I was sitting up there,
staring at the wall,
and a thought occurred to me,
and I was like, "What if"
-I am not a vampire?"
-[Charles groans]
-Excuse me?
-MAX: Well, I don't feel
any different
than I did yesterday.
And, like, I'm looking
at these glasses of blood,
which probably seem delicious
to all of you,
but to me as a non-vampire,
it kind of makes me
want to vomit.
Yo, slow your roll.
This is primo Steve, man.
Steve is the name of the guy
from Craigslist
who sells us his own blood.
-We-we think it's his own.
-EMMA: Sweetie,
your skull was caved in
and it healed in 12 hours.
Well, I am sort of
a quick healer.
I take a daily calcium chew.
For God's sake.
You were bitten by a vampire
and you turned into a vampire.
Why is that so hard
to understand?
Okay, just hear me out.
Where are the fangs?
'Cause I have spent
the last five minutes
concentrating as hard as I could,
-and I've got nothing.
-LIZ: You know,
the fangs and the powers,
those all can take some time
-to develop.
-Okay.
But isn't it possible
that when Charles bit me,
he gave me enough
vampire venom to heal me
but not enough to turn me
into an actual vampire?
Well, I mean,
I guess it's possible, but
-Aha! Booyah!
-EMMA: Ooh, babe,
didn't we decide after Scrabble
that you're not a "booyah" guy?
For sure. My bad.
Oh, my God, what time is it?
-I have to get to work.
-What? Wait. No, no, no, no.
No. No, you're not
going anywhere.
-Well, but I-I have
-Despite your desperate protestations,
you are a baby vampire.
-Well
-And you have no idea
how to be out
among the living yet.
There's a lot
you don't understand, Max,
and until you're really familiar
with how this all works
CHARLES:
Yes, you could be exposed,
which directly endangers us.
Oh, no, you are staying here
until further notice.
Do you understand me?
Okay, Max, just humor my dad
until we figure out
what's really going on? Please?
Fine.
But I'm not a vampire.
Damn it! Yes, you are!
[Liz screams]
-Charles.
-Calm down.
-We don't even eat.
-JESSE: Well, my wife does,
and she doesn't know
we're vampires.
-What? -Oh, boy.
-JESSE: My bad.
-Phyllis?
-[whooshing]
You didn't hear anything.
Oh, hey, guys.
What happened to the microwave?
[Charles groans]
I can't believe
we're stuck with this guy.
Well, he's here, so let's try
to make the best of it.
-[sighs]
-Who knows?
Maybe you and Max
could become friends.
[scoffs] I've got
enough friends, thank you.
But do you?
-What's that supposed to mean?
-No, it's just,
you don't really hang out
with anyone besides me.
I have friends.
What about Nathaniel?
The candle maker?
Charles, he died 200 years ago.
Really? God, I knew
it had been a minute.
Look, men often struggle
with maintaining friendships
after marriage.
They get rusty.
And you've been married
for 500 years.
-That's a lot of rust.
-For your information,
I have a friend at work.
Who?
Eric.
Okay, I've never heard you
mention his name before.
Be that as it may,
he is my friend.
He's my good friend.
In fact, he and I
are having lunch today.
[low]: After I ask
him, which I will do.
Yeah, I don't know why
I do this. It's pointless.
[sighs heavily]
Well
JESSE:
So, while technically
I have been assigned
to keep you here,
I don't want you to feel like,
you know, my prisoner.
We're just two dudes
-hanging out.
-But if I try to leave?
I will hunt you down and put you
in a cage in the basement.
-Oh.
-So what are we thinking?
-Sports Center?
-[phone vibrating]
-[TV playing indistinctly]
-Excuse me.
Hey, Benji.
Where the hell are you?
We have our presentation
in 30 minutes.
-Crap. Is that today?
-What do you mean, -"Is that today?"
Max, all the department heads
are gonna be there.
-This is a huge deal.
-Shoot.
Uh, yeah, that's gonna be
a little tricky.
I'm, uh [clears throat]
Sort of under the weather.
Who's on the phone?
-Who's that guy? Where are you?
-MAX: Uh
it's just a guy
that lives at Emma's house.
Your girlfriend lives with a guy?
Wait, I thought
you weren't feeling well.
What is going on?
Uh I, I-I should go.
Wait, no, no, Max, Max.
I need you.
I just click the PowerPoint.
You're the talker. Max?
Is everything all right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was just
my friend Benji.
Is he a werewolf?
I don't think so.
Okay, well, you should ask him.
Legally, he has to tell you
if he is.
Can't be too careful, BV.
"Baby Vampire."
I don't know,
I'm just trying it out.
No, yeah, yeah, it's very clever.
Speaking of which,
I actually think I am getting
a little, uh, peckish,
yeah, for some blood.
Oh! Hot damn.
It's kicking in.
Yeah, blood's in the fridge,
bro. Have at it.
Oh, it's just,
I don't know how to prepare it.
Oh, you literally just pour it,
like, in a cup.
Well, I'm not up
on the portion size yet.
-I got you, bud.
-[chuckles]
I'll fix you up
a nice tall glass of Steve.
Thanks.
JESSE: Yeah, man, so, uh, I do
want to warn you ahead of time,
we do still pee.
Okay? But it will be pure red
on account of the blood.
Max?
Bro, if you got
invisibility power,
I am gonna be beyond jealous.
Uh-oh.
-[sighs] Oh, damn it.
-[machine whirring, beeping]
What, is this copy machine
made by Prussians?
[Eric chuckles]
Oh, Eric.
I'd know that laugh anywhere.
Do you share a deep-seated hatred
for the people of Prussia?
Uh, no, I just, uh
It was funny the way you said it.
Ah. Well, as long as
we're connecting,
perhaps we take things
to the next level.
Uh, what does that mean?
Well, we could go to lunch.
We could do Thai or-or Mexican.
Just not a Prussian place,
I'll tell you that much.
Are there Prussian places?
Look at us batting it
back and forth.
-The banter.
-Yeah. No, no, I'd love to,
but, uh, I brought my lunch
from home today.
Oh, no.
That was insane.
How did that even happen?
Totally insane.
So, how about Mexican?
It's a wonderful cuisine,
which I know as a person who
eats f food.
Max, I'm home.
Hey, uh, listen, don't freak out.
This is gonna sound kind of bad,
and that's 'cause
it's kind of bad.
Um I lost Max.
-Are you serious?
-What do you mean you lost Max?
I turned my back
for like a second,
and he disappeared.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
Did he develop
invisibility powers?
I do not think so, because of
the lack of audible talking.
Also, would invisibility power
make his clothes disappear?
It's an interesting question.
-Jesse, focus.
-EMMA: Did you search the area?
-Did you even look for him?
-JESSE: I was going to.
I was. But then Phyllis
came back from the salon.
Babe.
-The hair is looking fire.
-Thanks.
-Is that a new sweater set?
-Yeah.
I got it 50% off at TJ Maxx.
[exhales deeply]
Get the hell over here.
Ooh. Ooh, that thing
with the floor happened again.
-Oh, we'll have to get it looked at.
-[laughs]
Damn it, Jesse,
I can't believe you!
It's not my fault.
She's aging like a fine wine.
This is not good.
Who knows what sort of trouble
he could be getting into
out there?
He doesn't know
how to deal with any of it,
between the sun
and the werewolves.
We didn't even tell him
about the vampire hunters.
[groans] I hate those guys.
They're, like, obsessed with us.
-Get over it.
-LIZ: Okay, we need to find Max.
We should split up.
-I will call Charles.
-Yes no, no, no. Liz, please.
Can we not tell Charles
that I lost Max? It's just,
I don't need to be hearing about
this for the next two centuries.
EMMA: Yeah, I think it
might be better if we deal
with this ourselves.
Dad already hates Max enough.
Yeah. Remember when I borrowed
Charles's ascot
for the 1893 Chicago World Fair
and then left it
on the Ferris wheel?
Dude brought that up Monday.
Okay.
Emma, think.
Where could Max be?
Ooh. You know what?
Before he disappeared,
he got a call from
a guy named Benji?
Benji. Benji,
that's the friend from work.
-That must be where he is.
-LIZ: All right, let's go.
JESSE: Yes! Okay.
Let me just run upstairs
and tell Phyllis we're leaving.
Give me ten, 15 minutes, tops.
-BOTH: Jesse!
-Well, excuse me for modeling a healthy relationship.
You know, you two aren't even
supposed to be home right now.
This is our time.
MAX:
So our proposal
is to optimize interdepartmental
communication pathways.
-[sizzling]
-Um, we feel that this structure
creates a positive
feedback loop Oh, my God!
Ah, am I excited about these
feedback loops. [chuckles]
Does anyone smell smoke?
Uh, please hold your questions
till the end, Cathy.
Uh, so, for-for the next slide,
um, you'll see
that implementation
is split into three phases.
Um
-[loud chatter]
-Phase one is, uh
[loud chatter continues]
Oh, my God, uh
-[mouths]
-[high-pitched ringing]
Oh! Sorry, can somebody, uh,
shut that door?
[loud chatter stops]
Thank you, Dave.
[laughs softly] Where was I?
Uh, phase one.
Yes, uh, so,
for-for the first phase,
uh, we will, um
Ooh
We will, um
Ha oh! [chuckles]
Gonna step out for a second.
Benji, can you take over?
Max. Max? Max.
Max?
[door closes]
I, um I just do the clicking.
But I am integral.
Oh, excuse me.
Hi. Would you mind
formally inviting us in?
Oh, I don't work here.
You can still invite somebody
in. It's not a big deal.
Ma'am, please, come on.
-Why are people so weird about this?
-This has got to be
the dumbest part
of being a vampire.
-Sir? Sir, hey.
-Oh, hi, hi. -Hey, dude.
-LIZ: In the tie. -EMMA: Nice kicks.
-JESSE: Mind if we come in?
-Oh, hi.
-Hello.
[sighs]: Oh, man, I could never
have a corporate job.
I mean, look at this drone
wasting away
his short, pointless life.
-What?
-Oh, sorry.
[whispers]: Meant to
telepathy that to you guys.
Hi. We're looking
for Max Marshall.
-I think he works on this floor.
-She is his girlfriend.
He doesn't need to know that.
JESSE:
You didn't hear anything.
-Well, don't wipe him.
-Uh, hi.
-Can I help you?
-EMMA: Yes, hi again.
We're looking for Max.
Um, he works on this floor.
It's no concern of yours
who she's dating.
Uh, okay.
Uh, well, Max is actually
giving a presentation today.
He's out at the Tacoma office.
-Tacoma?
-Okay. Thank you.
[sighs]
So he's at a different office?
Tacoma
that's like 45 minutes away.
-It's too far to super-speed.
-Why does it only work
-in cheetah-like short bursts?
-It's just for catching prey.
It's not for
long-distance travel.
I hate to say it, but your dad's
office is right by there.
Oh, God, he's not gonna be happy.
Okay, maybe don't mention my role
-in Max getting out.
-[sighs] Jesse
It's gonna be the ascot incident
all over again.
[Liz sighs heavily]
You're not getting anything?
No, I-I'm good. Um
Yeah, I've got
a massive tapeworm, actually.
[phone vibrating]
Oh. Sorry.
The old ball and chain. Liz.
Yeah, could I,
could I call you back?
I'm a little busy.
What do you mean he's gone?
Where is he?
[panting]
This isn't happening.
This is, this is not happening.
[screams]
No. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
Max?
Are you okay?
MAX:
Uh, yeah, sorry.
I just, uh,
I-I wasn't feeling well.
Dude, I am dying in there.
I can't vamp.
[echoes]:
Vamp. Vamp.
Do you have any idea
what I'm going through?
[pulls paper towels]
Geez.
I knew I should have brought
extra T-shirts.
[shouts] Oh.
Cut myself on the dispenser.
-[sniffs]
-[groans]
Mm.
♪♪
I might have to click
left-handed.
And I didn't practice that.
Max?
Where'd he go?
[grunts]
-Oh, my God. Charles?
-[exhales]
What just happened?
-I-I didn't hurt Benji, did I?
-No.
And we shall discuss this
no further here.
What is wrong with me?
I He's my best friend.
Oh.
-I fell.
-We fell.
[sighs]
CHARLES:
We gave you
one instruction:
to not leave the house.
Was that so difficult to follow?
I didn't think
I was really a vampire.
And, Jesse, you were supposed
to be keeping an eye on him.
How could you lose him?
This is the ascot incident
all over again.
There it is. Look, I had
everything under control,
but then Phyllis came waltzing in
with this brand-new sweater set.
-Bro, I'm only human.
-You're literally not.
Okay, but I am a vampire,
which we all know
is one of the horniest
undead creatures out there.
-Dad, gross.
-HENRY: No.
It's a beautiful thing,
to love so intensely.
MAX: Okay, it's no
one else's fault. All right?
I am the one who didn't listen.
Okay? I made a dumb mistake,
and I am sorry.
I-I just didn't want to believe
that this could
really be happening.
That everything about my life
was going to be different.
But now I know that it is.
Aw. If only your words
were enough.
-Dad, he's apologizing.
-He's broken my trust.
His actions today could have led
not only to the death
of his friend,
a tragedy in and of itself,
which I get
as someone who has a friend
named Eric, who loves barbacoa.
-What's going on?
-Charles made a friend. We're very proud of him.
But even worse was his blatant
disregard for our safety.
'Cause, you know, you risked
not just exposing yourself
but this entire coven.
I didn't think
that it would be such a
No, you didn't think, Max.
That's the problem.
You see, a coven is not just
a living arrangement.
It's true, BV.
You're part of something
bigger than yourself now.
There's no "I" in "coven."
-Right?
-[whispers]: Yeah.
Which is why Max can no longer
be part of this coven.
-What? -What?
-He has to move out.
Can't I just put him in the cage?
Charles. Max will not be safe
on his own.
Yeah, did-didn't you say
something about werewolves?
HENRY:
Doesn't he have to stay with us?
I mean, what happened to
"We broke him, we bought him"?
No, the Council only demands
that we find him accommodation.
Therefore, I have put a call in
to the Winnipeg coven,
and they're willing to take him.
Provided I throw in
six pints of Steve.
-Dad, this is insane.
-LIZ: Charles, Max showed
very poor judgment, but to
banish him seems a bit cruel.
Yeah, I-I don't want
to go to Winnipeg.
No one wants to go to Winnipeg.
But my mind is made up.
Fine, Dad.
But if he goes, I go.
Are you joking?
Just this morning,
you were bemoaning that things
were moving too fast
-between you two.
-What?
Well, yeah.
This is fast.
And historically,
I'm not the best
when it comes to commitment.
I freak out and bail,
and I break hearts
and ruin lives.
And sure, yeah,
one time I burned down a city.
Oh, yes, Chicago.
[laughs]:
We blamed that cow.
Uh, I'm sorry, is this
gonna get to a good part?
The point is, I'm scared
but not so scared that
I'm willing to give up on us.
So, unless you're willing
to lose me, too, Dad,
Max stays.
[groans]
Fine! He can stay.
-[softly]: Yes.
-MAX: Thank you, Charles.
You won't regret this.
But if you want to be one of us,
then you truly need
to be one of us.
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. 100%.
What does that mean?
LIZ:
All right, Max. It's time.
-EMMA: You've got this, babe.
-Mm.
I mean, I guess I did swallow
a lot of my own blood
when I got my wisdom teeth out.
This is sort of like that,
just another person's.
-Just shut up and drink it.
-Okay.
Here we go.
Gonna drink the blood.
Hmm.
Actually not bad.
It's, uh, it's kind of sweet.
-[squeals] Steve's the best.
-Yeah.
[exhales]
Mmm.
-[softly]: There you go.
-JESSE: Yeah.
PHYLLIS:
Oh, hey, everyone.
-What's going on?
-JESSE: Um,
Max is just trying V8 juice
for the first time.
[deep, demonic voice]:
More.
-He likes it.
-[soft laughter]
[panting]
You know, I meant what I said.
I am proud of you for putting
yourself out there with Eric.
Uh-huh.
Charles, are you even listening?
Sorry, uh, I'm just waiting
for Eric to text me back.
After our lunch, I texted him
to make sure he got home safely,
of course.
Okay. Well, I'm sure
he'll write back soon.
It's just, it's been a while.
But, uh, he
perhaps he did not receive it.
I'm gonna text him again.
Charles, no.
We've been through this before.
[birds cawing]
I'm telling you,
just wait for Claude
to raven you back.
How can I be sure
that he got the first raven?
Charles, put the bird down.
Oof. You're right, you're right.
No, I don't want to pull
the old double raven. Oof.
[phone chirps]
What was that?
I just exclamation-pointed
my earlier message.
-Mm.
-It's technically not a new text.
Have I blown it? I've blown it.
LIZ:
It's okay.
Captioned by Media Access