Extreme Ghostbusters (1997) s01e02 Episode Script

1
-[ominous music playing]
-It's him. Egon Spengler.
You believe in ghosts?
He's got scientific proof that they exist.
-They do.
-What are you talking about?
-Is he--?
-A ghost!
Paranormal Phenomena 101.
[screams]
[screams]
Teach us to be Ghostbusters.
-[shrieks]
-[yells]
Class dismissed.
Someone out there
desires to make contact.
Any time now.
Feel my disease.
[theme music playing]
If there's something strange
In your neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
If there's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
That's right ♪
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost ♪
If you're seeing things
Running through your head ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost ♪
You know busting
Makes me feel good ♪
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost ♪
[tense music playing]
So when do we get started?
Immediately.
You need to know
how to work the P.K.E. Meters
and Proton Guns and
Oh, wait. What am I thinking?
The equipment is falling apart
and the Ecto-1 is in terrible shape.
If it's got an engine, I can fix it.
If it's got wiring, I can reconfigure it.
And if it's got a nougat center,
he can eat it.
Go ahead. Try it now.
[engine rumbles]
Like a top.
Either close escrow tonight
or else lock it.
You should have seen
his face, Barney. It was--
Hey, what do you think you're--?
[groans, then yells]
Feel my disease.
All the interior circuitry
needs to be checked.
Got it.
This one needs a minor adjustment.
You said red's positive, right?
No, positive is--
[yelping]
Black.
[laughing]
[ominous music playing]
[passengers wailing]
Somebody, please,
tell me what's going on.
Nothing. Everything is just fine.
[yells]
[pensive music playing]
The important thing to remember
is that you must never,
under any circumstances,
cross the streams.
Why, what'll happen?
Another electric shock?
No. Nuclear explosion.
[Egon] This is called a P.K.E. Meter.
It registers psychokinetic energy
which allows you to determine
if there is or was a ghost in the area.
Send this down
to the lab for analysis.
Strangest virus I've ever seen.
It's not a virus, doctor.
It's an outbreak.
-[patients groaning]
-Help me.
-Doc, what's wrong with me?
-I'm itching so bad, I can't stand it.
[beeping]
[gasps]
[belches]
[ominous music playing]
Let's roll.
[siren blaring]
[Roland] Anything?
Real faint.
Me? I'm getting nada.
It's not switched on.
I knew that.
Egon here.
I've been analyzing the P. K. E. readings
of the ghost that attacked me,
and it appears that we're dealing
with a symbio-apparitional entity.
In other words, it needs a host.
What? Like Alex Trebek?
No. What I mean is,
it needs to take on a human form
in order to do its dirty work.
The ghost could be inside anyone.
Look, boil-infested zombies.
Yeah. Like I really believe that.
-[groaning]
-[yelps]
What's happening to me?
[man] Help us, please, someone.
Whatever infected Egon
must have gotten to these people too.
Or else they've been eating
way too much chocolate.
-Please.
-[yelps]
Please.
Here's a quarter.
Now go away.
[tires screech]
[PKE meter beeping]
[Garrett]
Seems like we're getting closer to it.
Whatever "it" is.
[siren blaring]
[ominous music playing]
[beeping]
I think it's here.
Somewhere very close.
Let's nail this puppy.
Where'd you learn to talk like that?
Jackie Chan movies?
Jackie Chan's for wimps,
and people from Long Island.
Brooklyn Heights is in the house.
[beeping]
This way.
Uh, I'll stay here.
Egon might call.
[haunting voice] Eduardo.
[haunting music playing]
[gasps]
Huh?
Eduardo.
[gasps] Kylie.
Man, is Egon ticked at you
for taking that beacon thing.
[in normal voice]
Are you happy to see me, Eduardo?
Uh
Sure.
Because I'm really happy to see you.
From the first time I saw you
in the lecture hall,
I felt an attraction.
Did you feel it too?
Well, I don't know, sort of.
I mean, you could stand
to put on a couple of pounds.
A good-looking guy like you
was really hard to resist.
Kiss me, Eduardo.
[Roland] Back off, Eduardo!
[tense music playing]
Why? She's legal.
She's a ghost.
Kiss me.
[screams, then grunts]
Blast her!
Hold it. What if by blasting the ghost,
we end up killing Kylie?
I think we ought to give it a try.
What are you waiting for? Blast her!
It seems awful risky.
-Maybe we should check with Egon.
-[shrieks]
-[yells]
-[screaming]
Nail that spook.
Now what?
Pull the trap, Eduardo.
I thought you had it.
It's back in the Ecto-1.
-[all grunt]
-[cackling]
[on comm] Egon here.
What's happening?
Somebody please respond.
-[ominous music playing]
-[groaning]
Are you--? [yells] Ah, ah.
You blasted me.
I had to.
You were doing the Linda Blair bit.
You were, like, possessed.
We're Ghostbusters now.
Now, I remember.
The demon, Achira.
She pretended to be
my Grandma Rose.
-Show me how to work this thing.
-[Roland] There's time for that later.
Egon wants us back at the firehouse.
Ooh. Somebody's gonna get yelled at.
[Kylie] And I'm really, really sorry
about borrowing the ghost beacon.
If I'd have known any of this
was gonna happen, I never would--
Never mind that.
I've been researching the entity
that possessed you. Achira.
And I've turned up some troubling
information about her past.
Don't tell me. Unpaid parking tickets?
According to ancient texts,
her name is derived from
the Mesopotamian word, Achira-Teema,
which, roughly translated,
means "destroyer of civilizations."
Hm! [whistles]
I don't like the sound of that.
Neither do I.
But the remaining
historical documentation is sketchy.
I'm afraid there aren't any records
indicating how she destroys civilizations.
- I got a theory. It's those boils.
-[whimsical music playing]
She makes people look like that.
Nobody can get a date,
nobody gets married, no more kids.
Boom! End of civilization.
Hm
That's your theory?
Uh-huh. It's called deductive reasoning.
I'm a scientist, man.
You're an idiot, man.
[music stops]
We need more information
about this entity.
And I have a feeling
it can be found underground
near the site of the new subway tunnel.
- Thought you already checked that out.
-Perhaps I missed something.
Let's go.
[eerie music playing]
-[beeping]
-These P.K.E. Meters are amazing.
They're like ectoplasmic Geiger counters.
A little tip.
You always wanna make sure
they're switched on.
I'm getting some heavy-duty action here.
[Roland] Lunchboxes, tools.
Looks like the tunnel workers
abandoned this place in a hurry.
Based on what they told that TV reporter,
I'm betting they had a run-in with Achira.
Ooh. Spook central.
Look at this.
-[grunting]
-[eerie music playing]
[Kylie] It's some sort of ancient tunnel.
Maybe a thousand years old.
Yeah. I didn't even know
they had subways back then.
[gasps, then screams]
Nice shooting, Eddie.
I think it's dead
again.
[eerie music playing]
That's strange.
There's bars closing off
the end of the tunnel.
Whoever built this
must have been trying
to keep something from getting in.
No. They were trying
to keep something from getting out.
Achira.
Oh, right. Like a few prison bars
are gonna hold a ghost.
Not by themselves.
But certain cultures had knowledge
of incantations and talismanic objects
that could work in conjunction
with an imprisoning structure.
Where do you get this stuff from?
Books.
You ought to try
picking one up sometime.
Lots of them come with pictures.
Hey, man. Last semester,
I read the Oddity of Homer.
Odyssey.
Whatever.
So if there was an incantation
at work here,
the subway workers must have
interrupted it with their drilling.
[gasps]
-[yells]
-[ghost shrieks]
Kill it, kill it, kill it.
She must have left one of her minions
to guard the site.
-[deep rumbling]
-[tense music playing]
You guys hear that?
Maybe it's the subway.
Subway won't be running through here
for another two months.
Then may I suggest we beat it?
Something doesn't want us here, man.
That would be me.
[Garrett yells]
Back the other way!
Oh, man.
This ghost busting business stinks.
Oh, man.
[tense music playing]
[grunting]
[Garrett] Stand back.
[manhole cover grating]
Hey, guys. A little help here.
What?
[lilting music playing]
Thanks.
[ominous music playing]
[Egon] My Mesopotamian is a little rusty,
but I think
I've deciphered the gist of it.
It was left behind as a warning.
It says that Achira
is just the tip of the iceberg.
It's her offspring
that will ultimately destroy the world.
Apparently,
she's a self-replicating entity.
Achira is one of the most
highly evolved ghosts
I've ever come across.
In comparison,
most others are rather simple-minded.
No kidding.
[telephone rings]
Egon Spengler's residence.
Oh, no, the Ghostbusters
have been out of business for
Oh. Uh-huh.
I see. Yeah, got it.
[telephone ringing]
Egon Spengler's.
No, we're no longer--
At 54th and Broadway?
Okay. I'll tell him.
[telephone ringing]
Hm.
I think we're back.
We must have gotten 50 calls.
Kind of feels like the old days.
Achira must be getting ready
to make her move.
-Well, what are we waiting for?
-[dramatic music playing]
Let's get that self-replicating,
disease-spreading, needs-a-host ghoulie.
[Egon] No.
I've been giving this a lot of thought.
I can't send you kids out there again.
-Hey.
-What do you mean?
-[Garrett] Hey.
-It's not you, it's the equipment.
It was ineffective against Achira
the last time.
There's no reason to believe
it'll work any better now.
-She's just too powerful.
-[somber music playing]
Then why don't we
make the equipment more powerful?
-Upgrade it.
-Soup it up.
It's not that simple.
In fact, it's impossible.
Is that you or the boils talking, Egon?
I've never known
Professor Egon Spengler
to use the word "impossible."
Well, I suppose it could be done.
Theoretically.
But it would require
increasing the nuclear capacity
of the Proton Packs you carry.
Sounds good to me.
And then, of course,
the ghost trap would have to be modified
in order to correlate
with the augmented proton charge.
You work up the specs, I'll do the rest.
[pensive music playing]
Uh-- Uh [laughs]
[whines, then sobs]
[siren blaring]
[cackling]
[Roland] Whoa!
I'm picking up a reading
coming from the southeast.
[Janine] Just got a call from a trucker.
Achira's been spotted
by the Brooklyn Bridge.
[Roland] We're on it.
[ominous music playing]
[PKE meter beeping]
[Achira cackling]
[Garrett] All right, ghost lady.
[shrieks]
Get ready to suck proton juice.
Brooklyn Heights is in the house.
[shrieks]
Fire!
[shrieks]
[eerie music playing]
Egon. Egon! Call 911.
We've lost radio contact.
Oh, Egon. I'm so scared. Hold me.
On second thought
You have no idea of who or what I am.
That's for sure.
My disease is among you now.
Come to me, my demon spawn.
-[dramatic music playing]
-Be with me, my children.
Come to me.
[thunder crashing]
[chittering]
[yelling]
[people screaming]
[Achira wailing]
[chittering]
My children!
[shrieking]
If those are her kids,
she's gonna have a heck of a time
finding a babysitter.
[shrieking]
Get out of here,
you lousy cockroaches.
Oh, man, I'm getting creeped out here.
They're in my hair.
[grunting]
There's too many of them.
[Garrett] You got that right.
We gotta blast the big mama herself!
You may destroy me,
but I shall take you down
into the fiery darkness with me.
Throw the trap!
[screaming]
[eerie music playing]
-Egon.
-They defeated the ghost.
All right!
I just hope they're all right.
What if
[sighs] It's too horrible to think of.
We came, we saw,
we kicked ghost butt.
[whoops]
Uh, can you do something
with this thing?
It stinks.
This goes right in the containment unit,
like so.
[beeping]
Back off or you're next.
[whines]
So, um
you said some stuff before
when you were possessed.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
May I? Thanks.
I'm trying to put on a couple of pounds.
You kids should be really proud
of what you did.
Absolutely.
You saved an awful lot of lives.
Not to mention saved me a bundle
in dermatologist bills.
Man, I'm just glad it's over.
It is over?
Hm
[dramatic music playing]
[shrieking and roaring]
[haunting music playing]