Ground Up (2026) s01e02 Episode Script

1
I've gotta build a club
and a $715-million stadium here.
It's 745 mill now.
State government's put it here
so they can say they're monitoring
how their investment's been spent.
I'm not sure he has any regard for
the principles of good governance
or socially-aware
business practices.
I need you to keep an eye on him.
There's a lot of people
not happy about this stadium.
Can we address that in some way?
Yes.
We'll build the stadium
and shut them up.
Catherine.
I just dropped by
to see how my boy is going.
Oh, OK.
Is he? Oh, tremendous.
If you can't deliver
a bloody song on time,
how are you going to go
with a multi-purpose stadium?
Why do we have to build a stadium
to get a team?
Because you can't have one
without the other.
Yeah, I do understand that concept.
I'm asking why?
Because.
We want a stadium.
We need a stadium.
Australians have had a bloody gutful
over your stadium
and you can stick it up your bum!
Come anytime
I'm a man of leisure
Come anytime ♪
I mean,
why do we bother with this mob?
This woman's bias is a disgrace.
Not all the media
can be an extension
of the AFL's PR department.
Have you vetted the callers?
How are we supposed to vet
an ABC audience?
Are you telling me that
the CEO or the President
haven't got anyone from
the national broadcaster down here
in your pockets yet?
What the fuck
have you two been doing?
You haven't got a song
or a cheer squad
or a location
for the Training and Admin centre.
We have a perfectly good location
for it in Kingston.
Kingston
Is Kingston any closer to Hobart now
than it was three weeks ago
when I rejected it?
Nup. No way.
Within 5ks of the CBD - that's
the stipulation, I told you that.
So unless you
and your government mates
can organise some continental drift
in the next few weeks,
stop talking about bloody Kingston.
You need to watch your tone.
-Bullshit.
-Live across Tasmania
-Ah, back in ten.
-Thanks.
Hey, if the T&A centre comes up,
can you say
we're gonna take our time to make
sure we get the decision right?
Just checking something
in the Communist Manifesto, were we?
Mornings with Libby Kitcher.
And welcome back.
You're listening to
ABC Radio Mornings,
and my guests are
AFL CEO Alistair Penfold,
Great Southern Football Club
CEO Hugh Shen.
And now, Hugh, a question for you.
$765 million is what's slated
for the new stadium,
although no one seems to think
it can be built
for less than a billion.
We have a housing crisis
and a health crisis here.
How do you justify spending this
kind of money on a sports stadium?
Libby, when you have
the Great Southern Footy Club
playing Carlton in Hobart,
your hotels and Airbnbs
will be full,
your restaurants
and bars will be full,
your markets and cafes.
This state-of-the-art stadium
will generate the revenue
to help solve the housing crisis.
Well, let's build
half a dozen of them.
Then we can solve the health crisis,
the teacher shortage,
and the traffic gridlock.
With respect,
you're just ignorant.
Questioning projects is fine,
but opposing
exciting developments like this
If humanity didn't embrace progress,
we'd still be living in caves.
A cave. That would be an improvement
for some people here.
Our first caller is Pip.
Hi, Pip.
Hi, Libby, firstly, I'd like to say
that I fully support the new team
and the new stadium.
Ah, the voice of reason.
But my question concerns
the Training and Admin facility.
How close are you
to settling on a location for that,
and could it positively impact
the value of any of my property
portfolio in Sandy Bay,
Lower Sandy Bay,
Taroona, Mount Nelson,
Dynnyrne, Newtown or Mount Stuart?
We're actually doing
a site inspection today, Pip,
but it is a hugely important
and extremely complex decision.
And Hugh will be making
an announcement about that
in the next week or so.
Now, my son wants to know
when he can join the cheer squad.
Can you tell our listeners
anything about a cheer squad?
Yes, our COO Destiny Pitt over there
is right on top of that.
And she's currently taking interviews
for the position
of cheer squad leader.
And, again,
she'll be making a decision
sometime next week, I believe.
Destiny?
Yes. Next week that is.
Why doesn't Alistair
travel in the van with us?
Because it's a van.
With us.
Alistair,
this is Barry Crabb from the RSL.
Alistair Penfold.
Alistair.
Mum said it might be
an appropriate and respectful thing
to play The Last Post before
official discussions got under way.
Amazing. OK.
Sorry, sorry.
Sorry.
Hold on, hold on.
Sorry. Hold on.
That's not it either.
That's not it, I know.
Sorry, Barry.
So stadium over there
and potentially
the Training and Admin facility
somewhere around here.
Somewhere around
this sacred precinct.
That's the first order of business.
Actually, first order of business
is get a bloody air bridge
at the airport.
Air bridge?
Well, there's not much point
sticking a roof on a stadium
if you have to walk through
howling wind and lacerating rain
to get on and off a plane.
So is this another condition
for the licence?
No, Destiny, it's a suggestion
to make life more comfortable
for everyone. OK.
Then, why don't we build
public housing instead of a stadium?
Sorry?
I was just talking to Jameson.
We should just build a roof
over the whole state.
One question I have is what
any of this has got to do with me.
Sorry, Barry.
So, if we have the stadium
over there,
can you give us a sense
of the RSL's view
on having the Training and Admin
facility here?
Complete and utter opposition.
Ah-hah.
As far as I'm concerned,
this area is out of bounds.
My members are already jittery
about the stadium
being close to the war memorial.
This this is where
we honour our war heroes.
It's not like we're proposing
to use the cenotaph as a goalpost.
The Shrine of Remembrance
in Melbourne
is only a short walk from the MCG.
I don't see that as disrespectful.
In fact, on Anzac Day
I see it as a synergy.
God, is someone giving you money
if you use the word synergy?
Sorry?
I said Kingston.
This is the main military monument
in the state though.
What if we give you the
naming rights to the T&A facility?
The Barry Crabb
Training and Admin Centre?
The RSL.
The Australian War Memorial,
the Department of Veterans' Affairs
and the RSL
will all pile on
if you go down this path.
Yes, yes, yes.
Any rugby grounds around here
we could take over?
It's always nice
to stick another dagger in the heart
of those NRL no-necks.
Nup, I'd already thought of that.
Congratulations.
-What's that area over there?
-Uh
Oh, that's, that's Government House.
Oh, yeah. How much land?
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
That's not it. Um
I'm so sorry, Barry.
Um Siri, stop.
Play The Last Post.
I hope Earl Grey is OK.
Yeah, yeah.
Hope he makes a full recovery.
And how are Mum and Dad?
Yeah, good, thanks.
Mum says you're coming out
for dinner on the weekend.
Mhm. I'm looking forward
to hearing all about the new boat.
It's an 80-footer, wet bar,
Bose sound system.
I meant on the weekend.
Oh, 100%.
Sorry to interrupt, Jameson.
So, Your Excellency,
15 hectares here, I understand.
I believe so, yes. Gorgeous grounds.
Mmm, and with such a rich history,
and all heritage-listed, of course.
Indeed.
Do you spend much time
in the grounds, Your Excellency?
Sadly, no.
Mine's a very busy schedule,
I'm afraid.
Such a waste.
In light of which, we were wondering
if Your Excellency might be amenable
to relocating
to a more manageable property,
freeing up the estate
for the AFL club's new Training
and Administration facility.
Obviously, we'd need to negotiate
this with the State Government,
but there'll be no problems there.
We could also make Your Excellency
the club's number-one ticket holder.
It's a very prestigious position.
Because let's be frank,
Your Excellency,
given the housing crisis here,
15 hectares in the heart of the city
with only a few people living on it,
I mean, it's obscene, isn't it?
If the role of the Governor
is to serve the people,
then what better way?
And where would you propose
I relocate to?
Well, very soon,
we hope to have in place
a commercial arrangement
with Wrest Point Casino.
So an executive suite there
would be an option.
I'm not sure
how appropriate it would be
to hold vice-regal functions
at a casino.
Well, you can't have a
vice-regal function without a vice.
Oh, the tea!
Sorry,
I thought your friend was sick.
I think that went well.
Oh, yeah, she'll be
packing her undies as we speak.
Well, we're not gonna win
a public fight with the RSL,
so pile the pressure on her
about the extravagance
of her living arrangements.
She's the Governor -
everyone expects her to have
an unsustainably opulent,
unjustifiably lavish lifestyle.
I can't hold your hand through this,
Hugh.
If you haven't got the balls
for this job,
there's no shame in that,
I'll get someone who has.
We could put Hugh's undersized
testicles to one side, as it were,
if we just went with
the government land at Kingston.
You know there's a Kingston
in Jamaica too?
Is it any closer?
This place is sacrosanct, Alistair.
It's steeped in tradition.
Drop it, Destiny.
We've got a lunch at Mona.
See you Monday.
And he's publicly dumped
the cheer squad in my lap.
That has nothing to do with
our priorities
and everything to do with him
swinging his dick.
My background's governance.
I don't know what a cheer squad is.
I know what a fraud squad is.
They investigate financial crime.
A cheer squad,
do they investigate happiness?
I mean,
we don't even have a team yet.
Or a stadium, or a Training
and Admin Centre, or a coach.
Do you want to swap jobs?
It shits me that he won't even
entertain the idea of Kingston
but he's happy
to boot the King's representative
out of a historic residence.
Do you really think
that's appropriate?
The King booted Prince Andrew
out of his historic residence.
Yes, but the Governor hasn't been
implicated, as far as I'm aware,
in an underage
sex-trafficking scandal.
You're just nitpicking now,
and I don't have any other options.
Oh, I'm gonna have to work
tomorrow now
just to find
a bloody cheer squad leader.
You know, on top of all that,
we are spending a lot of money
and there's no guarantee that this
team or stadium will ever exist.
How do we justify
to Tasmanian taxpayers
all this premature infrastructure?
Build it and they will come
to realise
they might as well use it.
Jameson, are you busy?
Uh, hang on a minute.
Are you able to come in
and help Destiny tomorrow morning?
I can't, I'm doing an escape room.
Oh, you go into a room
with a bunch of other people
and try and solve problems
in a set period of time.
Right.
So nice change from work, then.
Yeah, 'cause the room's
in complete darkness.
Yeah. Of course.
OK, well,
I'll just give up my Saturday
and drop in on the way back
from Government House.
Oh.
Not a word to Destiny.
And look, forget what I said
about keeping an eye on her.
It might make me look creepy.
Definitely.
Definitely what?
Definitely nothing about you.
So your parents are friends
with the Governor?
Are they completely loaded
or something?
Yeah.
Mum inherited, like, 30 million.
What?
Oh, get fucked!
Meanwhile, I'm living at home,
trying to save for a deposit
on a mouldy old apartment.
Well, I'm still living at home too.
Yeah. Tough times.
So why are you even working?
I think it's to prove that
I got this job on ability.
I don't know. Ask Mum.
I see what you mean.
This is just beautiful.
Yes.
It's an absolute oasis in the city.
I've been crunching some numbers
and it's very easy to see the
economic value we'd add to this oasis
through community, sporting
and health facilities,
retail opportunities,
and even some residential housing
Uh huh.
Compared to the cost
of just maintaining you here.
Right.
And so, when we take this idea
to the Premier,
obviously it would have more cachet
if you lent your support
to the proposal.
I'm sure you'd agree,
Your Excellency.
Clearly it would, yes.
Terrific.
So that's a letter of support
from you to sign,
which we've drawn up for you.
Oh, that's very thoughtful.
Not at all.
And, uh, I've also brought along
a laser measure.
Do you mind
if I take a few measurements?
Thanks.
So, Cliff, no previous experience
with cheer squads?
No, not as such,
but I do have plenty of experience
dealing with
organised groups of people
that don't take shit from anyone.
Yeah.
I guess my first question
Look, I've come up with
some graphics,
you know, for the banner
for the boys to run through,
you know, just inspirational quotes.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
"Kill them."
Joke.
Oh
Yeah, I think I get it now.
Um, right off the top,
can I just clarify one matter?
Are you a member
of an outlaw motorcycle gang?
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Construction union.
Oh, that's all good, then.
Don't sweat this too much.
I don't care
who runs the cheer squad
as long as they haven't got
a criminal record.
I mean,
white collar crime's alright.
I don't want to rule out anyone
with a business background.
So shoplifting is a no,
insider trading is a yes.
I'm not a snob.
It's just about skill sets.
Hey, what do you think?
Government House
Training and Admin facility.
I get a perfect view of training
if my office goes there.
In the Governor's bedroom.
Yeah.
Seems appropriate,
given what you're doing to her.
Yeah.
Hi. Can I speak to
Alicia Shearwater, please?
Ah! Hello?
I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out.
Get me out of here!
Mornings with Libby Kitcher.
And you could win two tickets
to the Theatre Royal
to see Clive and Friends -
an evening of madrigals, poetry
and conversation with Clive Palmer.
And now to a story
that is just breaking on social media
in the last quarter of an hour
this morning,
with a report in the Mercury
by Alicia Shearwater
that the Great Southern Football Club
wants to take over Government House
here in Hobart
and the land surrounding it
for their Training
and Administration facility,
and have attempted to bribe
the Governor, Meredith Crotty,
with number-one ticket holder status.
And I can tell you, our SMS hotline
has gone into meltdown over this.
We have a full board of calls.
Sorry. Thank you.
And first up is
Angela!
Oh, don't worry, I've booked a call
with Buckingham Palace.
I'll be giving them
some very bloody frank feedback.
Hi, Angela.
Hi.
I mean, who the hell
does she think she is?
Who?
The Governor of Tasmania.
Leaking confidential discussions
to the media
and sabotaging Hugh's idea.
This could be
a constitutional issue.
My idea?
She's got no respect for the office.
Obsolete parasite
on the public purse that it is.
What do you mean, my idea?
You were the one
who tried to bribe her.
This idea was always going to create
a shitstorm.
That's why we needed to keep a lid
on it till we got it over the line.
This'll completely torch our brand
down here if we can't hose it down.
You need to put her back in her box.
We want to issue a press release
immediately.
Oh, Coolio. Can I just
Just get this down.
OK.
You've gone quiet.
I'm just admiring the synergy.
Uh, the AFL is bitterly disappointed
that a private conversation
between its representatives
and the representative
of His Majesty the King
has, firstly,
made it out into the public
and, secondly, been
so comprehensively misunderstood.
Are you getting this?
Yeah. It's on speech-to-text.
Just deleting our last exchange
and that bit just then.
Uh, the AFL has never had any desire
to take over the grounds
of Government House,
nor any desire to offer the
number-one ticket holding position
to Her Excellency, the Governor.
Uh Something implying
her mental acuity might be subpar.
Oh, you can't say that.
Um The AFL trusts and hopes
that Her Excellency's confusion
is an isolated incident.
Thanks, Angela.
OK.
We're not gonna be in a position to
announce the location for next week.
Week's a long time
in football, Hugh.
What possesses these people
to want to lead a cheer squad?
This woman's a gynaecologist,
for god's sake!
I'm not gonna snoop on Hugh
any more.
Or you.
Sure.
What?
Uh
I don't want you
to compromise your principles,
but can you do whatever it takes
to get one of your government mates
to lock in Kingston?
Well, I can have a conversation.
That'd be my starting point, yeah.
As a priority would be good.
Oh, Kingston suddenly starting
to look good now, isn't it?
Wouldn't go that far.
It really isn't that far.
That press release is outrageous!
It is borderline treasonous,
and I demand that you retract it
forthwith.
I'm sorry, Your Excellency, but
You made a preposterous,
I'll-judged proposal,
and now, to save face,
you impugn a representative of
the Crown by implying I am demented.
Well, Your Excellency, if you think
you can leak against the AFL -
if you'll excuse the imagery -
without any consequences,
then you must be demented.
I did not leak any details to anyone.
Uh, alright, OK.
You have crossed the line,
as even the AFL's half-arsed
video review system would show.
At the risk
of trying to bully a bully,
you withdraw that statement
and issue an apology,
or I will bring the full weight
of the Crown down on you in court.
And we'll see if Jameson and Destiny
share your memory of that meeting.
Ooh.
You need to discredit her.
Dismantle her integrity.
The Governor?
It's our brand or hers.
Jesus, Alistair.
Every time you come down here,
you throw hand grenades everywhere
and then take off,
leaving me and Destiny
to mop up the rivers of blood.
Ditch the mop and get a kayak.
The land at Kingston,
Premier, would be ideal for us.
It would also take this tasteless
Government House idea off the table.
Oh, sorry, Destiny,
but we're about to announce
that Football Tasmania
have got Kingston.
So, isn't that us?
Football Tasmania is soccer.
You're Football.
You see, soccer is football
and football's football.
But Football Tasmania is soccer.
A much grander major infrastructure
project down that way
would shore up your electoral
position there though, wouldn't it?
No doubt.
And that theoretically could involve
the compulsory acquisition of
soccer's parcel of land, couldn't it?
So, as an ethical journalist,
Alicia
if we accept that as a concept,
I know that you would never
divulge your sources.
Of course.
So, as an unnamed source,
I can disclose to you
that the Governor
has today threatened me
if I don't retract the press release
about our meeting
at Government House.
Was this a threat
of physical violence?
Well, it could be interpreted
a number of ways,
but, again, it does raise questions
about her fitness for office.
Catherine?
I've been knocking for ages.
Sorry to drop around unannounced.
No, no. Thanks for coming.
Can I come in for a minute?
Definitely an inside conversation?
It'd be a bit nicer.
Yeah.
We spend all day inside, though,
don't we?
Because it's warmer.
It's a sensitive issue anyway.
Not worried my house could be bugged?
Are you holding a freak-off
in there?
Come in.
Just checking I hadn't left
any underpants lying around.
So, Hugh, I was thinking
could we be better served
politically
Without a doubt.
I hadn't finished.
Sorry.
Could we be better served
politically
by retracting the statements in our
press release about the Governor?
Got a call
on the Vice-Regal Batphone, did you?
Well, Meredith denies leaking
that story to the Mercury,
to Alicia Shearwater.
And, by the way,
I'd really like to know who did.
Would Alicia tell you?
I know you said
she was a second-rate moron.
No, no, that wasn't me.
You said it a couple of days ago
in your office.
You called her
a complete and utter
No, no, I didn't say Alicia.
I said"A Lisa."
What's her name, from Melbourne?
I mean, really, Hugh,
implying the Governor
should stand aside
due to some neurological impairment
is a bit rich.
Because we employ Jameson,
do you mean?
What?
Because she's the Governor.
We're stuck with our story, though,
aren't we?
We can't admit to lying
or we'd lose all credibility.
So we have to keep lying
to maintain our credibility?
Look, Alistair drafted it,
so you need to take it up with him.
Ooh!
You ARE entertaining someone.
Oh, it's just,
we haven't gone public yet, so
I thought
you were weirder than normal.
Well, good for you.
I'll get out of your hair.
Yes, please.
Hope it works out.
Yeah, well, early days, so
Oh, of course, but you know
You're too kind.
Goodnight.
Bye.
When are we going public?
No, I
I posted a story
about the Governor's threats.
Thank you, Alicia.
Hey, do you remember
the name of, uh Lisa?
Yeah, the second-rate moron.
Um
And how was Mona?
Fantastic.
Hi.
Hey.
That wall of vaginas is interesting.
Reminded me of being in a meeting
with the club presidents.
Well, cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Oh, yeah, well done, everyone.
Not only have we failed to secure
our preferred T&A locations,
today I learned.
Football Tasmania just snapped up
our non-preferred site at Kingston.
What?!
Here's fucking to you.
Aren't we Football Tasmania?
No, that's soccer.
Are they allowed to use the word
football?
Good point. Look into that.
I've actually just been
speaking with the Premier
who's, um, advised that the
government will, on our request
compulsorily acquire
Football Tasmania's land
for an infrastructure project
that is yet to be conceived
before announcing
several months later
that the as-yet unknown project
will not be proceeding,
placing the parcel of land
back on the market,
allowing a favoured bidder
to acquire it.
What's happening?
The Premier's shafting soccer.
Cool.
Well,
I still think the location stinks,
but in terms of
screwing an opponent over,
that's actually brilliant.
Glad someone here
understands the synergy
between business and government.
Great job, Destiny.
You'll be eating salmon next.
Excuse me.
Just feel the need to wash my hands.
Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt.
I'm Pip.
I spoke to you on Friday on the ABC
in support of the stadium.
Oh, yes, the voice of reason.
Because there's no team
without a stadium.
That's exactly right, Pip.
And you were saying
how you hope to double the number
of children playing AFL.
That's right.
Even more if I can get my
I just wanted to point out
that you can't "play" AFL.
It's a competition, not a sport.
What you "play"
is Australian Rules Football.
Right. Yes.
Well, thank you for that.
Children don't go down
to the basketball court to play NBL.
No.
And if they want to
kick a soccer ball around
they don't say "Oh, let's go
and play some Bundesliga."
Yes, alright.
Or head down to the tennis court
to play some Wimbledon.
That'd be ridiculous.
So you get my point?
I do.
What?!
Hello there.
For fuck's sake, Catherine.
If I find out who has been lying
about me making threats,
I will destroy them.
Now listen to me. Yes
Oh, god.
Well, leave it with me, Meredith.
Catherine.
Good evening, team.
I didn't know you were coming
or invited.
Alistair,
would you like to move along a bit?
No. Here's fine.
Hmm.
Alistair, I'd like to avoid
being taken to court
by the constitutional monarch's
representative.
Can we smooth this over
so neither party loses face?
You lot just fold like a foreskin,
don't you?
She is threatening to call all four
of us to attest to the conversation.
Well, I don't think we have
anything to worry about there.
Jameson,
did you hear me at any time
ask the Governor to move out
so the Great Southern Football Club
could take over Government House?
Absolutely.
I'll back you up on that 100%.
She's also threatening not to
approve any stadium legislation.
Could you explain
she's just an overpaid rubber stamp.
Well, I may have omitted that.
Draft a retraction.
Thank you.
Can I get Alicia Shearwater's
number off you?
Didn't she give it to you
last night?
Are we ready for some food?
Is the club paying?
Yes.
In that case
I'll have a dozen ostriche naturali,
the papetto al for no,
the baccolo di miele,
with a verdure al vapore and, um
a bottle of the Armand Rousseau
Clos De Roche Grand Cru.
And one glass.
Thank you, Mr Penfold.
Of course you can have that meal
on the condition that the AFL
builds us a new commercial kitchen.
There's no meal without the kitchen.
Funny.
Comedian. Funny.
Alright. OK.
Joke's still going.
Oh, for fuck
Is it true
Labor down there have rolled over?
They're now backing the stadium
Yeah, yeah, we found out yesterday.
Returning your call, Premier.
We need that budget revised down.
And if we don't get it by Friday,
you are in breach of
the development agreement. OK, bye.
Did your mum say anything
about the new coach?
She and the board thought
there were six better candidates
but you pushed hard for your man.
This is where I start to put my stamp
on the culture of this place.
You're exactly the sort of business
we want to be aligned with?
Opium poppies?
Hugh, do you have five minutes
for an idea?
Catherine,
I don't have five minutes for a shit.
Captions by Red Bee Media.
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation