Howzat! Kerry Packer's War (2012) s01e02 Episode Script
Part 2
1 $1.
5 million.
The deal's done.
There's a little bit of the whore in all of us.
We're sorry.
You will be.
Dennis, I'm not pissing in your pocket, but what you got, that's unique.
The bloke who pushes the sight board, Dennis makes the same money.
They got this great game in their hands and these world champions and they've got no idea what they've got.
How would you like some cricket on TV? The best cricketers in Australia against the best in the world.
I've got someone in Sydney wants to meet you.
We sign 'em all up and we have a competition.
Richie, this is John Cornell.
Cornell, this is Richie Benaud.
You know the cricket board better than anyone.
This is going to be difficult.
What's going on? The whole thing has to stay undercover.
I'm in.
It's about bloody time.
Something like this has been coming for a while.
Not like this, son.
It will be a fuckin' revolution.
Warner, this cricket thing's warming up.
I want you in to manage it.
Thanks, Kerry.
You'll be cursing me before this is over, son.
Are you declaring a cricket war? If the cricket boards cooperate, there's no reason why test cricket will be affected at all.
If they don't cooperate, they'll walk straight into a meat mangler.
I got a charming letter from Packer today.
He wants to meet up while we're here and work something out.
Let's do it.
Would you like to outline your proposals? I'm here looking for a compromise.
Think they bought it? Course they have.
I've offered them a fuckin' gift.
It is the unanimous view of the International Cricket Council that they cannot give any commitment to exclusive television rights.
It's war, Douglas.
We'll drive a wedge between this man and his players.
It's every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.
That's it! We see 'em in court! "This will be the beginning of an exodus from the Packer circus.
" Packer fuckin' circus again! Disapproved persons? What is this, the 19th century? Thommo, you're fully approved, though, aren't you, mate? You can keep playing.
They can sue me if I don't pull out.
Yeah, there's blokes running to their lawyers all over town.
Stop it now.
We'll take the hit on 6 million.
These blokes are relying on me.
To World Series Cricket! To World Series Cricket.
This game you've got at VFL Park It'll work, Harry.
It has to.
It's starting.
Here they come.
Kerry, just got a call from London.
He's due to give his judgement Tuesday night our time.
The game is bigger than those who are trying to strangle it.
It's time to show all those bastards out there having a go at us what we can do.
Yeah.
They're showing their true colours.
What's going on? Brighty and Bookshelf have been sacked from playing for Victoria.
Tangles, too? Mm-hm.
Jeez, they're having a go at us.
Well, we knew they were coming.
They're sacking everyone.
That's not the worst of it.
Have you spoken to Chappelli? He's not playing for any state or for North Melbourne.
Yeah, but they got him.
Won't even let him play for Glenelg.
You New South Wales blokes are getting the chop next.
Kerry better win this damn court case.
Well, if he doesn't, no-one's playing anywhere.
It's over.
Yep.
What are you gonna do? I don't know.
Nothing.
Baseball.
The authorities believed they acted in the best interest of cricket, but that is not enough to justify the action they took.
The authorities had an understandable desire to make things as difficult as possible for Mr Packer.
Nevertheless, Mr Packer and World Series Cricket has offered secure, remunerative employment to the cricketers at a time when most had no guarantee of regular employment in the game.
I find that the authorities acted without proper regard for the contractual rights of these players.
I find for the plaintiffs, with costs.
Yes? Kerry, it's Gavin Warner.
We blitzed them! Alright, it's on.
I've always had a firm belief in the great traditions of British justice.
And we've got costs.
320,000 bucks.
Serves 'em right.
They won't be too keen on another innings if it costs 'em that much every time, will they, Cornell? Mr Packer, just one question What? Hurry up! I'm eating.
Do you think this'll force the ICC to reopen negotiations? It'd be easier to get an audience with the Pope, and I'm not Catholic.
Piss off! Just one more question.
What?! The New South Wales Premier's sacking the whole board of the Sydney Cricket Ground Trust.
Just wondering if you're confident of playing at the SCG now? I've always been confident of that, son.
Now if you don't mind, my bacon's getting cold and that tie makes me want to throw up.
Thank you, Mr Packer.
Go and see my tailor, McFarline.
Thank you very much, Mr Packer.
Bloody journos! Still, this improves our position.
Maybe find a compromise with the board now, Kerry.
If we don't get the SCG, we've got just about no chance.
We've got bigger problems than that, son.
Please hold.
Mr Parish, there's another call from 'The Times' in London.
Tell them we're making no comment.
And 'The Bulletin' rang.
Trevor Kennedy Did you hear what I said? No comment.
So, we were well stuffed.
It's a resounding victory for Mr Packer and I congratulate him.
Now I'm happy to take your questions.
Mr Webster, the Ð250,000 in court costs against you? We'll of course be looking into how to fund this.
It's certainly a body blow.
Do you think a compromise is now possible? And will you appeal against the decision? We'll see about that.
I will of course let you know.
The Don called.
He wants us to set up an emergency committee.
For us to take Packer on? Yes.
Typical.
He loads the bullets but he never fires them.
So you won a court case? So what?! This just wins you the right to go bankrupt.
I'm disappointed in you.
Warner.
Uh, Mr Packer, Mr Singleton called.
So? Um, he said he'd call back.
About what? He didn't say.
He was Well, bloody well find out! And where were you on Tuesday night? I thought I told you you have to be here if I'm here! Mr Packer, it was 10 o'clock at night.
Did you hear what I just said? It was my birthday.
They were all waiting for me and Do you want this job or not? Of course.
Warner! Get in here.
And where's my advertising on the grounds? What are you doing?! Kerry, I got curators, I got accountants, I got players I've got the fuckin' players! And I have to deal with them! Engineers, the press.
I got bureaucrats, bloody groundsmen, you.
I'm exhausted.
I haven't seen my family in weeks.
Don't give me your fuckin' excuses, Warner.
I don't want to hear 'em.
And how come every time I turn around and there's a fuck-up, your name's on it?! Hey, Rosie.
It costs me money! Who's he got in there? Gavin Warner.
Right.
He's in such a horrible mood.
Mr Chester was here.
The company's financial situation is not very good.
And get me those numbers! How the fuck am I meant to run an organisation if I don't know what's going on?! That's it.
I'm resigning.
I can't take this shit anymore! Unless he's killing people, he thinks he's getting nowhere.
That's true.
Well, I wish him luck, 'cause he's gonna need it.
I'm out of here.
Tell Kerry I'll see him later.
You know, he has to win every time.
Always.
You know, he's got no idea how to take a punch.
Well, he's had to cop a few, Gav.
Yeah, from his father, I know.
We all know about that.
God, what kind of father belts his kids at home and then insults and humiliates him in public? Yeah.
So he's traumatised.
Boo-hoo.
I'm the one who has to pay for it.
It's all he knows, Gav.
You're just going to have to wear it.
Well, that's alright for you to say.
He doesn't have a go at you.
He needs you, Gav.
He just doesn't know how to show it.
Yeah.
We're still very vulnerable, you know that.
This whole thing needs you where you are.
I'll see you in the office tomorrow? Yeah? Yeah.
Good.
Good.
Knock his head off, Dennis! Won't get a better opportunity than night-time.
OK, Chappelli.
Red ball.
Righto.
Ohh.
Bloody hard to see.
How's that, Warren? Go again.
Go again.
Oh, nup.
Lost that completely.
Try orange.
Alright.
Maybe something a bit lighter? What do you reckon? Like your mother's undies! Righto.
Pink! I don't know.
Looks dumb, though.
Yeah.
Oh, it's the totally wrong colour, anyway.
Here we go.
Try yellow.
Yellow? Tony says yellow.
Righto.
Bewdy.
Yeah, that's it.
No.
Sorry, blokes.
Piss off, that's bloody perfect.
They're hitting the lights.
It's flaring on screen.
Looks shit.
Well, what is this, cricket or TV? Yeah, righto.
I don't know.
What do you think? White.
White! White, eh? I like that.
Yeah? Good.
Here we go.
White it is.
White it is.
Alright.
We got ourselves a ball.
What is it, Rosie? What do you mean, Mr Packer? Come on.
You bully me.
I bully everyone.
Haven't you noticed? Yes, but I'm here with you all the time.
So am I.
It's not easy.
It's tough times, Rosie.
I need you here.
I forgot it was your birthday.
How old were you? Same as me.
Oh, Mr Packer.
Oh, it's beautiful.
I can't take this.
It's It's too Well, if you don't like it, return it and get me my money back.
Mr Packer, I didn't mean that.
OK, alright.
I'm just going to turn you around a little bit.
Nice.
Fix up her hair, would you? Good.
Magic.
This'll stop them treading on the bloody things.
They were doing it on purpose.
I know.
OK? Let's test it.
That wicket should have been in a week ago.
It should have been in a month ago.
Don't tell me that.
I repeat, the game this weekend - will the damn thing be ready? It'll be ready.
You can guarantee that? Gavin, if it pisses down rain for the next three days, you can kiss your day-night game goodbye.
That is not good enough! For God's sake, where are the fuckin' covers? Settle down.
If it doesn't rain Jesus Christ, John.
What do you mean, if it doesn't rain? This is Melbourne! What the fuck is going on with you two?! And where's my advertising? The night cricket, it's scared every advertiser off.
They don't think it'll work.
So what are you doing standing around here? Get out there and start selling! Kerry, I've been trying Did you fuckin' hear me?! Go and do it! How are you, John? Kerry.
Yeah, that's it.
Nice.
OK, just dip your head.
That's it.
World-famous cricketer Tony Greig talks about Kellogg's Nutri-Grain.
Have you tried Kellogg's Nutri-Grain yet? It's even good straight out of the pack.
It looks like a tiny cricket bat with holes.
Nutri-Grain stays nice and crunchy in milk, too.
Mmm.
Nutri-Grain is made from corn, oats and wheat and it's got a lot of vitamins and protein.
Nutri-Grain's a beaut start if you need to eat and run.
Get 'em up! Where's Greigy? Dunno.
Who does? How's the ankle, Dennis? Ah, don't ask.
Oh, welcome, Greigy.
Glad you could join us.
What, are you too busy for training these days, are you? What's the matter with you, Chappell? What were you doing, a photo op? Another ad? What was it? Kellogg's, TAA, Waltons? Bloody Golden Books? Who else? What I do with my time is my business.
It's not your time, mate.
Kerry's paying for it.
And we're copping shit for not training hard enough and you're swanning off doing other shit.
Hey, listen, I train as hard as anyone.
I'll arrange my life in my own bloody way, not the way you want it.
Hey, guys, come on.
Would be alright if he deserved his place in the team.
What was that? What did you say? Mate, there is no way in the wide world that you are good enough to be in that team if the Windies blokes are there.
Simple.
OK, Chappell.
We'll see tomorrow night who's good enough.
Alright, let's play some cricket.
Come on, Chappelli.
We'll bat first.
OK.
Are we shaking hands, gentlemen? Oh, here we go.
What the fuck is that? It's a bone dome, Bacchus.
How does he even see the ball? I love it.
Gives me something to aim at.
You get him, FOT.
Oh, you're jokin'.
You see that? Dennis Lillee pitching very short.
Very, very short.
The crowd's a little disappointing on this historic occasion for the first ever day-night match.
Oh, and there's a good cricket shot, a la Keith Stackpole.
And that's great batting.
Richards in position quickly, the hammer.
Hey, Brighty? Bring us out a long sleever, will you, mate? It's getting a bit chilly out here.
Good on ya, pal.
Gentlemen.
What's the gate? Not sure yet.
More than 6,000.
The families are turning up.
Yes, but not enough of them.
Yeah! Yeah! I'll be whacking you all night if you keep putting up shit like that.
Oh! Prick.
This is an historic item.
So, what about the white ball? Well, it's perfect, Kerry.
You can see it from the bowler's hand.
Yeah, even bouncers.
It gets lost down low, though, Kerry.
What do you mean? Well, everyone's wearing whites.
Can't see it against their legs.
Well, what do we do about that? I just had a call from Tagge Webster in London.
They've decided not to appeal.
Smart decision.
How are they going to pay the court bill? They're still coming to terms with that.
Anyway, I've let the Don know.
How is he? Happy about the Australia-India test crowds.
We're killing World Series in numbers.
At least the public's got some brains.
He's still unhappy about losing Hookes.
He doesn't like losing, Bob.
No, he doesn't.
No, two types of people spin - politicians and bowlers.
Right now, we're politicians.
We can spin all we want, but the general public has to buy it.
They're starting to.
We just need critical mass.
Not only spin.
We have to give them substance.
We've got that.
No-one's faking it out there.
Give them time.
That crowd wasn't big enough.
Look at the test crowds against India.
If this keeps up, we'll be dead by the end of summer.
It's turned into bloody trench warfare.
Yes, it is.
And they're winning, Richie.
Easily.
And we thought, what do you give a man that has so much? There were a lot of suggestions, mostly bloody stupid.
But in the end we thought, "What's our relationship to this guy, really? "What's important between him and us?" So we got you a chequebook.
No, no, it's from the heart, boss.
Oh.
We hope you like it.
It's, um Well, this has got to be the world's most expensive cricket bat.
I want to thank each and every one of you, and I want you to know that the feelings are reciprocated.
In the In the short time that we've been together, I've come to respect you all.
This might come as a shock, I know, but I'm actually rather fond of you blokes.
KP! This will never leave my side.
Thank you.
We also had the same problem, Kerry.
What do you get the man? We know it's early days and there's tough times ahead, so we thought this man needs all the help he can get.
Oh, thank you, Mr Lloyd, thank you.
It's a bloody voodoo doll.
I tell you what, I probably need this more than the bloody bat.
- Three cheers for Kerry.
Hip, hip! - Hooray! Hip, hip Hooray! Hip, hip Hooray! Bowling to two slips and a gully.
Yep! Just the one.
Rodney Marsh through for a single.
Jeez, Andy's fired up.
It's OK.
I just heard Clive tell him he's only got three more overs.
Three? That's all.
We just have to hang on.
Andy Roberts here, the most experienced of the West Indian fast bowlers, and a great fast bowler in his own right.
This is another one! He won't catch this one.
And the crowd is delirious.
Hit him.
And he's in trouble.
You alright? You alright, mate? Where'd it get ya? The face? Jaw.
Wasn't quite inside it.
I'm alright.
No, mate, you're going off.
And he's retired hurt for the moment on 81.
I'm sorry, Chappelli.
Mate, don't worry about it.
How is he? Ambulance is on its way.
Bugger the ambulance.
Come on! I can't hear anything I say.
Come on.
OK, alright.
Come on, let's go.
In you hop.
Watch your head.
OK? You right? Oh, bloody hell, Kerry.
You alright? You OK? Slow down, slow down.
I'm just trying to take the attention off your jaw.
You're doing a bloody good job of it.
And we're back with our usual guest, Peter McFarline of the 'Age', joined tonight by English sports writer Clive Bell to give us some insight into the present crisis in Australian cricket.
So back to you, Pete.
Now that the first full World Series Cricket season's drawing to a close, what's the verdict? I'd say it's a draw, Gary.
Packer and the ACB are locked in an arm-wrestle and no-one's leaning over yet.
Clive? Well, I'm giving it to your cricket board.
The Indian tour is hugely successful.
Bobby Simpson's a very popular Australian captain and the crowds are turning up in their thousands.
But not in the numbers the board was expecting, and that's the trouble.
Well, exactly.
There is only so many people who go to the cricket and what Packer has done, he has split cricket right down the middle.
And that's the tragedy of it, Gary.
I mean, blokes I know, cricketers who used to be mates, are now no longer talking to each other.
You mean like Bobby Simpson calling the World Series players 'slobs'? Exactly.
Packer might think he's doing the right thing by the cricketers, but as history shows, you go into a war, it's very difficult to get out of it.
Oh, we all know he's losing money hand over fist, as are the boards.
Now I don't think it's a draw, Gary.
I think everyone's losing.
Yeah, it's a bloody mess.
What about some of their cricket, though? It's pretty riveting stuff.
The point is they are just playing for money.
I don't think the Australian public will wear it.
Yeah, Gary, not good enough.
Well, we'll be back after a break.
Five, four, three, two, one Happy new year! Warner! Where's Cornell? Haven't seen him all night.
Tell him I want to see him in my office in the morning.
Right.
Wait! Where'd you get this thing from? The roulette table? What do you reckon, huh? I rented it.
Had to take a few doors off to get it in.
Buy it.
What the hell for? I might want to put it in my pocket and take it home.
Where you blokes off to? The movies, man.
Do you wanna come? The movies? Now? 'Deep Throat', man.
Gavin Warner got it from someone.
Shit, yeah.
Let's go.
Hookesy! Where ya goin'? Happy new year.
Where were you last night? Sorry I couldn't make it.
I was busy.
Doing fucking what? Me and Dellie got married.
Don't invite a bloke, will ya? It was on the QT.
We didn't invite anyone, except family.
Got married at midnight.
On New Year's Eve? Easy to remember.
You're a fuckin' romantic bastard, son.
I'll give you that.
Who was your best man? My 8-year-old nephew.
Oh! What do you want for a present? I want this to work, Kerry.
Yeah.
Whoa.
That'll do.
No more.
Thanks, Dennis.
Well done, David.
Thanks, boss.
Hookesy, what's wrong? I'm fair dinkum havin' flashbacks of that ball from Andy.
As soon as Dennis gets any speed up, I shit myself.
Well, that's not good.
Bloke at the hospital said it'd take five years to get over.
You're selected for next week, mate.
You're going to have to front up to Big Bird, Andy, Imran.
I know.
I can do it, Chappelli.
I just need to get one ball away.
As soon as I get off the mark, I know I'll be OK.
Mate, they're not going to be doing you any favours.
Just one ball.
I ordered those helmets from your blokes in Birmingham.
I don't want any more broken jaws.
We've been approached by another mob, Kerry.
Coonan & Denlay out of Sydney.
What do they make? Horse rider helmets.
They're really good, apparently.
What? We don't want to look like we're playing polo.
Doesn't matter what you look like, son, as long as you get out with your brains intact.
G'day, guys.
It's looking good, isn't it? What do you want, Pete? I just want to confirm something.
I hear there's some dissension in the ranks.
Bit of infighting going on.
Where'd you hear that? Oh, it's understandable.
I mean, the crowds aren't coming.
It's costing more than anyone thought, and so on.
Look around you, mate.
The gang's all here.
Well, no-one's buying any advertising.
You'll be lucky to last out the season.
I heard you've had a major resignation.
I'm just wondering who it was.
No-one's leaving, mate.
That's not what I heard.
I don't give a shit what you heard.
No-one's resigned, no-one's leaving.
Alright? Righto.
Oh, yeah! Ha-ha-ha! Yeah, look, we're sure it'll be a great contest.
Not a big crowd again, Ian.
Is this turning into a worry for World Series? The crowds will come.
We're confident of that.
Well, they haven't come up till now.
I mean, the Aussie-India test crowds have been much bigger.
What makes you think World Series will make a breakthrough? The quality of cricket.
These are the best around.
Look at the guys we're playing today - the World.
They're the best bunch of cricketers I've ever seen with one exception.
Lillee coming in again to Lloyd.
Beautiful shot.
Drives square.
There he goes.
Beautiful square cut from Barry Richards.
Short delivery.
Lloyd and Richards completely comfortable out there against Lillee, who's struggling with the ball.
He's showing absolutely none of his usual impact.
The World batsmen are relishing this uncharacteristic performance from the great bowler.
The Australians Well bowled.
Out.
Greenidge, caught Marsh, bowled Walker.
Lillee back into the attack now.
Very unusual for this man to go wicketless for so long.
Oh, good shot.
This has produced a glorious shot.
Here he goes again.
That's four runs.
And the punishment continues for the Australians, particularly for Lillee, who's really copping it this morning.
At lunch, the World team is 2/144, with Viv Richards on 78 and looking extremely comfortable.
The Australians are in all sorts of trouble.
Chappell's men not used to being handled in this cavalier fashion.
Lillee, at none for 51, is struggling, having none of his usual impact on the game.
I got them compiled.
Good, I'm going to have to run them for Kerry.
It's the northern end mike first.
Oh, fuckin' hell! You fucking piece of shit! You call that a shot? Oh, fuck me drunk, mate! What are you doin'?! Oh, fuck me, I've seen better bowling from a girl, mate.
And it's all going out to Mum and Dad and the kids.
Well, get them onto the faders quicker, for God's sake.
Right.
Hey, boys.
Hey, FOT.
Got any shots of me run-up? Ah It's a hard Fuck off.
I don't reckon he's been told that too often.
Yep, got it.
Thanks, boys.
Right.
You can see Dennis Lillee coming back into the attack to replace Lenny Pascoe.
Yes, caught behind.
That's Dennis Lillee's second wicket since lunch.
He's getting the ball to move off the pitch now.
His line and length are superb.
I don't know what was on the menu at lunch, but Lillee must have had a double helping.
This is a completely different bowler.
The World are now in significant trouble.
There's the bouncer to Greig, who sways out of trouble.
Lillee now enjoying his time out there.
This great fast bowler can't be kept down for too long.
He's got him on the helmet, I think.
Could be the first strike, and Lillee the man to do it.
I'm watching it from the box, guys.
Bloody well done.
Yeah, it's looking good.
Yeah.
It's amazing what a difference five cameras make.
We've got seven.
I thought it was five.
Seven's better.
Lillee again.
And that's it.
A tremendous comeback by the Australians.
And now they're right back into the game, thanks in large part to Dennis Lillee.
Wicketless before lunch, but something happened out there, and he's now walking off with a remarkable 5/82.
Roberts to McCosker.
And he's gone, caught behind.
And that's Ian Chappell out.
That's a blow for Australia.
Very annoyed, Ian Chappell.
The vital breakthrough for the World.
He's bowled him.
He's gone.
Yorker again.
What a cricket match this is.
What must he be feeling now? The first ball since his smashed jaw is critical.
This is it.
How are you? You alright? Not really.
OK, well, ball at a time, yeah? Yep.
Let's go, David.
Garner delivers the ball from such a great height.
He gets enormous lift.
It's in the air! Good chance! Could be six or out! That's six! Thanks, Big Bird.
Welcome back, Hookesy.
That one was a great shot from a young man making a comeback.
Like I said.
Well, I'm going down the other end.
Anyone coming? You've been doing something.
You have been doing something.
Just striking the ball? Not too much chop here.
Hey, you can piss off out of this dressing-room, mate.
You're not wanted in here.
Well, if you want me out, how about you come and bloody get me out? Hey, hey, hey, come on.
Come on.
Cool it, man.
Well played, Big Bird.
Thanks, man.
Nicely played, Clive.
Thanks, man.
Viv magic.
Thanks.
Andy.
Your team played well today.
Excuse me, Mr Packer? Are you aware of the announcement by the Australian Cricket Board that they are interested in night cricket? No.
But I'll tell you what I am aware of.
I'm aware of them calling us a ridiculous fad and a circus act.
Mr Packer, the board's apparently arranging to put on official cricket under lights.
Bob Parish reckons he's been planning night cricket for some time.
Well, that is complete bullshit but I wish him luck with it.
Do you see this as a move towards reconciliation? No, I don't see it as anything of the sort.
Maybe they're coming our way a little bit but there's still a long way to go.
Now excuse me.
"They've been thinking about it for some time.
" Now, that takes the cake.
They're starting to fold.
No, they're not.
Kerry.
Hey.
You are the hardest bloke to get along with that I've ever met.
What do you mean? I knew you'd be cranky, so I sat there for a long time trying to work out what to say.
I tried to say something to make you feel better.
I tried to find the most inoffensive words to help you, and you told me to fuck off.
Chappelli.
FOT.
Cheers, mate.
How's that for a season? It was different.
Mm-hm.
My ankle's now completely buggered.
Mate, you took 5/82.
Who gives a shit about an ankle? Yeah, well, I just wanna say it's been great with you and the guys the last couple of seasons.
Is that right? I'm slowing down a bit.
Thanks for everything.
You can bloody put that away.
Shake my hand.
I don't shake medium pacers by the hand.
I only shake hands with fast bowler Shake my hand.
You heard me.
Shake my hand! I told you, I only shake hands with fast bowlers.
Fuck you.
I'll be back next season, I'll take more wickets than anyone else.
Good, FOT.
That's what I wanted to hear.
Fuck you.
Well another season like that and it's all over.
No more mucking about.
Tickets? We're going ahead with a print of some mock-ups.
They'll be ready for next meeting.
Why aren't they ready now? We only put the order in last week.
Remember, you wanted them to be Forget it.
Programs? Same.
Clothing.
You got the colours right at least.
What about the caps? Well, the peaks are too short.
They're the same length as the official ones.
Yeah, but they don't look right.
Make 'em longer.
Wickets.
They're ahead of schedule, Kerry, as we discussed yesterday.
Of course.
Thank you, Richie.
Ah, Mr Hill.
Coverage.
Yeah, from the nine camera positions we've got we should I thought there were seven.
Nine's better.
Also, the wicket mike problems are fixed.
And we'll be training up the camera guys during the winter, and there'll be two full rehearsal days.
The cherry picker camera? Yeah, still testing it.
Well, get it right.
It's a good idea, David.
What's the scheduled games cost? $1.
4 million.
Well, we'd better draw a crowd.
The press.
Select journos have a draft program for the season, Kerry, just to give them an idea.
Some of them are coming across much better.
Good.
Legals.
We're still before the Federal Court on use of the word 'test' in Australia.
Well, I know that, don't I? What I want is an idea of when these bastards will make up their mind.
It's hard to tell.
I've spoken What do you mean, "hard to tell"? I'll talk to Turnbull and see if I can get a clearer idea as Why haven't you done that already? Kerry, there is no hurry.
Either way, we have to go along with There you fuckin' go again! Rose.
Ian.
He's waiting for you.
Is he, uh, still upset with me? I don't think he could stay angry at any of you boys for too long.
Right.
Is that right? Mmm.
Warner.
Get in here.
You're an Adelaide bloke, son.
The Don, he's put out feelers.
"What do we think about using the Adelaide Oval?" Why would he do that? He hates us.
He's got an angle, obviously.
Yeah, he's sniffing the breeze.
He's good at that.
Hmm.
Oh, well, it's good for us, Kerry.
He never backs a loser.
What is it? G'day, Chappelli.
G'day, mate.
Don't sit.
Tell him.
Had a few beers with Lenny Pascoe.
Jeff Thomson's not happy playing for Simmo.
He wants to come back to us.
Well, how the hell do we do that? He's contracted to this bloody radio station.
Plus he's got a binding contract with the board.
Thommo and Lillee back together's a gift for us.
It'll get our crowds up.
If he wants back in, we'll have him.
Find a way.
Find a way.
Jesus.
Who's the old man? That's Austin's dad.
Fastest man in the world in his day.
FOT's got his dander up, Ian.
Mmm.
He's pissed off at you.
Yeah, good.
Yeah, alright.
Well, he just keeps getting better.
I copped three in the guts for that.
Fuckin' worth it, though.
Look at him go.
The first problem fixes itself.
The radio station's been bought by another group.
Thomson's contract's with the previous owners.
We can argue he doesn't have a contractual relationship with the new proprietors.
What do you mean, you can argue? Does he have a contract with them or not? Maybe, possibly not.
It's a ground we can fight on.
In court.
That'll cost.
Now, as to his contract with the cricket board - he retires.
We'll script the letter for him.
They won't be happy.
The board won't force him to stay.
The cricket public would crucify 'em.
"Poor Thommo, he's been great.
"If he wants to go, they should let him," etc, etc.
They nullify his contract, Thommo's officially retired on, say, Friday, OK? Mmm.
Monday morning, bang, what happens? Thommo rediscovers the old fire, loves the game, wants to play for Australia and signs up for World Series Cricket.
Is it just me or does that sound too easy? It's just you.
Are you sure? I mean, I'm not a lawyer, but Kerry takes it all on himself.
I don't know how he does it.
He must be feeling it somewhere.
He's such a lovely man.
Tell that to Gavin Warner.
So, what are you gonna do? What do you mean? Come on, I've seen you like this before.
You are far too quiet.
He's got the Sydney Cricket Ground, he's got the lights being built, but it's the same problem as always.
What if they don't come? Yeah.
Should be working by now.
Hey, Strop! Everyone's working their arses off.
We're paddling like buggery but we're getting nowhere.
So, this first game at the cricket ground with the lights If it's like VFL Park on that first day It won't be that bad.
People have been coming.
Dellie, this whole thing could still turn to shit.
What do you do when someone's ignoring you? Make a lot of noise right in front of them.
His name's Wessels.
Kepler Wessels.
He's just about to turn 21.
He's a kid.
But what a kid, Kerry.
He's marvellous to watch.
Swimming champion, tennis champion, rugby.
He played schoolboy cricket.
And can you believe this? He left one of his schools with a batting average of 270.
Wow.
Sign him.
No, no, I want to see him first.
Here we go.
How are you? Excellent.
Dim sims.
Lovely.
Spring rolls.
Great.
Fried rice.
Beef and black bean sauce.
Chicken chop suey.
And sweet-and-sour pork with extra sweet-and-sour.
Thank you very much, my friend.
Excellent.
Now, he can't come straight from South Africa and play the West Indians because of the agreement.
So we slip him into a game for Sussex or somewhere, and then, bingo, he's in.
Alright.
Good.
Good.
Have you seen Warner's ad campaign for the summer? Yeah.
What do you think? It's bloody ordinary, Kerry.
"Come and watch the white ball fly"? I mean, what kind of crap's that? What the fuck are you doing? That's mine.
Uh, it's Chinese food, Kerry.
You share it.
No, I ordered it, it's mine.
Put it back on the plate.
Go on.
There you go.
Thank you.
Good.
TV ads, radio ads, print ads, all boring.
We can do a lot better.
Well, what are you gonna do about it? Well, I was thinking I could go and see this guy, Big Al.
Big Al? Mm-hm.
Writes songs.
Alright in the middle of the night Finding touch together This way please, Mr Cornell.
Which, thank the Lord, I'm not, sir The kind of man that I would be Would be a weak reporter I'd go hard, she'd go hard We'd both go hard together Thank you.
G'day, Corny.
G'day, Allan.
How are ya? Good.
The boys are getting vocal out there.
Oh, one of the blokes is on his way to New York so they're farewelling him.
They've been at it for quite a while.
Sounds like it.
So, you and your mate Packer, you're creating quite a stir.
That's your brief, Al - create a stir.
G'day, Strop.
Alan.
How are you, mate? Good.
It's quite a brief.
We've, uh we've been thinking about it.
Good.
I need some of your magic.
You say here something patriotic.
Yeah, an anthem.
We're up against the Ashes, 100 years of nostalgia.
We've got to invent a new history.
Mmm, invent history.
That's a nice brief, John.
Thanks.
You want, like, a rugby song? No, bigger, grander.
A war cry? A call to arms.
Something like that.
Hear that? Limericks, that's it.
That's it.
That's what we need for the verse.
You're kidding.
No, no, no, the A-A-B-B-A rhyme.
It's a much maligned rhyming form.
For good reason.
No, no, no, that's just the lyrics.
Don't worry about that.
We were thinking a chorus, something along the lines of this Come on, Australia Show us what ya made-a Come on, Australia Whoa, uh Come on.
We, uh, just had the court decision come through.
We can't use the word 'test' and we can't use 'Australia'.
Bugger.
But we can call ourselves 'Australians'.
Come on, Australians Come on, Australians No, that's awful.
So, what have we got? What have we got? What do we need? Um Marshie's taking wickets Hookesy's clearing pickets And we need something that rhymes with 'green'.
Green? The Chappellis are catching it so clean No.
It's cricket like you've never seen? 'Glean'.
Something 'glean'.
'Gleam'.
'Gleaned'.
Eyes have got the gleam, something.
Dougie's eyes have got the dreaded gleam.
No, it's not quite right.
The Chappells.
The, uh Th-the Chappells' eyes have got the killer gleam.
The Chappells.
The Chappell.
The Chappells' eyes.
Marshie's taking wickets Hookesy's clearing pickets And the Chappells' eyes have got that killer gleam I like it.
Great.
That's it? Great, yep.
Well, let's, um Shall we? Please.
We were thinking, like, maybe starting with a montage, a training montage or something.
Um, and it's, like spoken word, um You've been training all the winter There's not a team that's fitter And that's the way it's gotta be 'Cause you're up against the best, you know This is Supertest, you know You've gotta beat the best the world has seen Lillee's pounding down like a machine Pascoe's making divots in the green Marshie's taking wickets Hookesy's clearing pickets And the Chappells' eyes have got that killer gleam Oh, mate.
Hey, Tweety! The sun is shining.
Yeah, yeah.
You wanna try out for 'Sesame Street'? You are the ugliest model I've ever seen.
Baby blue, eh? Here ya go, Sacker.
Yeah, yeah, up ya bloody game.
I'm not wearing this.
You'll be the only guy on the field that's not, Hubie.
We look ridiculous.
Yeah, it looks like your Mum's pyjamas, mate.
Yeah, yeah.
You gotta bloody wear 'em too.
- Bastards.
- Take your pads off.
What the fuck were you thinking with this Thomson bullshit?! What? What? What's my job in this organisation, hmm? Fixing problems of your fuckin' making! Kerry, I've got no idea what you're talking about.
Well that's been obvious for quite a fuckin' while.
Why don't you go work for Murdoch? You were laughed out of court with this stupid idea for Thomson.
My idea?! Now the board get to keep him.
And you get to look like the fuckin' clown you are! It was not my idea! Is that right? It was the legal guy.
He was convinced it would work.
I was the one that How's the ad campaign?! Honestly, it was not my Advertising?! Well Doesn't fuckin' matter.
I'll talk with Cornell.
Oh, g'day, Strop.
Hey, those cricket ads, that bloody song, can't get it out of my head.
That's why I'm here, mate.
Kerry's not happy with how many times you're running them.
How many times are they on tonight between 6:00 and 10:00? Uh, two.
Hm, only two? Not enough.
Kerry wants four.
No, five.
Well, shit, who can I kick off? Give us a look.
Uh, Claytons three times.
Get rid of them.
Ansett, who fuckin' cares? Better drop one of them, too.
Ruffles chips, piss that off.
He wants us to cut five? That's what he said.
And he wants it done every night.
Every night? I won't catch up.
This is the cricket, mate.
Rose, what are you doing? Go home.
I can't.
Why, what's the problem? Mr Packer likes me to be available as long as he's here.
You leave Mr Packer to me.
No, please don't say anything.
I had all this work to do anyway.
$12 million, Kerro.
It's coming together, Harry.
Yes, it is.
What you've got now is a functioning organisation.
Congratulations.
But the role of that organisation is to lose the company's money.
We're getting too close to the edge.
Remember that conversation we had last year after you dumped 6 million? Your father, Kerro, would have cut his losses by now.
I know.
He would have given himself an escape route.
You don't have any.
It's not good business.
What are you doing? He had big plans for you.
Oh, no, he didn't! Clyde was gonna run everything, remember? I'm not Clyde.
And you're not the old man.
Still, you're in the shoes now.
So far it's not a good fit.
Your father would never risk the lot, never.
I've got the Sydney Cricket Ground lights, and the game on Tuesday.
That's all you've got.
Listen, Kerro, it's one minute past midnight.
When you're way behind on the night, a final roll of the dice is not a smart thing to do.
Mr Warner.
Rose.
Are you alright? I've got an ulcer.
My wife hates me.
So do my kids.
So so do I.
He pushes a button and he whistles at me like a dog.
I know.
How do you do it? I just do it.
Tuesday night's make or break, Rosie.
If it comes off, I'm alive.
If it doesn't I'm going into the library.
Come on, Cornell.
Where are we going? I've got something I want you to see.
What do you think, son? You see that one there? Yep.
That's yours.
All these others are mine.
You ready? Well, let there be light.
Yeah.
Yes, it's a magnificent sight, Richie.
People are just waiting for the sun to go down to really capture this atmosphere.
And it certainly is a historical night here.
It really is a fantastic sight.
And people queuing up outside, trying to get into the ground.
You.
You! What's your name? Tim, Mr Packer.
Tim, why aren't you letting 'em in? Well, the place is full.
We got to capacity a while ago.
Well, you can't keep 'em out there, son.
Mr Packer, there's 10,000 of them.
Just open the fuckin' gates, will ya? Well, the ticketing booths are closed.
We've got no staff.
Listen to me, son, that doesn't matter.
Let 'em in anyway.
They want to see cricket.
We'll let them see cricket.
OK, boys, step aside.
Let 'em in.
Enjoy the game.
Enjoy the game.
Good shot.
Yes, timed that beautifully.
Going away down the hill towards the fence at the southern, Randwick, end.
Good shot.
50,000 out there.
I'm watching this with the 2 million people at home, son.
It is so big that they've thrown the gates open not closed them, thrown them open.
Hear that? They know the words.
Yep.
Kerry, I've got a confession.
This might be a good time to tell you.
Tell me what? I've been going into Channel 9 and getting them to drop ads and putting ours on instead.
Jesus, son.
You might be hearing from a few companies.
Oh, he's hooking it! Yeah, it's six! Bloody hell, Cornell! A beer, thank you.
This is it, Kerry.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
Morning, Rose.
Morning, Mr Warner.
Well, what do you think, huh? I thought the party started a bit early.
Who the fuck organised that? Thommo.
G'day.
You can bowl, son, but you haven't got a fuckin' idea how to organise your life.
Yeah.
Welcome back.
Thanks, boss.
Kerry.
I was talking to Ray Steele after the board called me in.
Said he wouldn't mind seeing all of this over.
Did he, now? And that's it for another night with our guests, Peter McFarline and Clive Bell, asking the big questions on cricket.
Well, there's a long way to go finessing this new version of a great old game.
How long can these players keep this up? Lillee breaking down again, Thomson out with a back problem, Gilmour's done a hamstring.
Even Greg Chappell, for the first time ever, is in trouble.
These men who have given everything are now at breaking point.
Goodnight.
It's time to go home now, Rosie.
The Australians look absolutely fantastic in the field in their gold-coloured outfits.
Now, where were we? Firstly, in principle, I'm happy for you to run the game.
My offer, which you fuckin' knocked back, was half a million a year when the ABC contract expires, which is next month.
Accept that? Yes.
Out! Lloyd gone! The West Indies 3/15.
The crowd goes absolutely mad.
Totally exclusive TV rights.
Right.
I get exclusive promotional rights to the game in Australia.
Right.
For 10 years.
Right.
The coloured clothing stays.
Yes.
And The ball hits the stumps, but well home.
We work out the details later.
Um We'll take it to the executive.
I'd appreciate it.
Hey, mate.
How are you? Hey, guys.
I'll see you in a bit.
Tony.
Hey.
Hey, where's Kerry? He's not in there? I haven't seen him.
Are you coming back? Yeah.
Yeah, mate.
No, you don't need any of that.
What you do is you get a building with a great big bloody front door and you light it up like a fucking Christmas tree.
The punters come in, empty their wallets and you open the door for them on their way out.
"See you next week.
" No, it's gotta be the world's easiest way of making money, son.
Nah, what's a couple of roulette wheels cost? Yeah, righto.
Yeah, goodo.
Tell Jimmy I'll see him in London, Monday.
5 million.
The deal's done.
There's a little bit of the whore in all of us.
We're sorry.
You will be.
Dennis, I'm not pissing in your pocket, but what you got, that's unique.
The bloke who pushes the sight board, Dennis makes the same money.
They got this great game in their hands and these world champions and they've got no idea what they've got.
How would you like some cricket on TV? The best cricketers in Australia against the best in the world.
I've got someone in Sydney wants to meet you.
We sign 'em all up and we have a competition.
Richie, this is John Cornell.
Cornell, this is Richie Benaud.
You know the cricket board better than anyone.
This is going to be difficult.
What's going on? The whole thing has to stay undercover.
I'm in.
It's about bloody time.
Something like this has been coming for a while.
Not like this, son.
It will be a fuckin' revolution.
Warner, this cricket thing's warming up.
I want you in to manage it.
Thanks, Kerry.
You'll be cursing me before this is over, son.
Are you declaring a cricket war? If the cricket boards cooperate, there's no reason why test cricket will be affected at all.
If they don't cooperate, they'll walk straight into a meat mangler.
I got a charming letter from Packer today.
He wants to meet up while we're here and work something out.
Let's do it.
Would you like to outline your proposals? I'm here looking for a compromise.
Think they bought it? Course they have.
I've offered them a fuckin' gift.
It is the unanimous view of the International Cricket Council that they cannot give any commitment to exclusive television rights.
It's war, Douglas.
We'll drive a wedge between this man and his players.
It's every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.
That's it! We see 'em in court! "This will be the beginning of an exodus from the Packer circus.
" Packer fuckin' circus again! Disapproved persons? What is this, the 19th century? Thommo, you're fully approved, though, aren't you, mate? You can keep playing.
They can sue me if I don't pull out.
Yeah, there's blokes running to their lawyers all over town.
Stop it now.
We'll take the hit on 6 million.
These blokes are relying on me.
To World Series Cricket! To World Series Cricket.
This game you've got at VFL Park It'll work, Harry.
It has to.
It's starting.
Here they come.
Kerry, just got a call from London.
He's due to give his judgement Tuesday night our time.
The game is bigger than those who are trying to strangle it.
It's time to show all those bastards out there having a go at us what we can do.
Yeah.
They're showing their true colours.
What's going on? Brighty and Bookshelf have been sacked from playing for Victoria.
Tangles, too? Mm-hm.
Jeez, they're having a go at us.
Well, we knew they were coming.
They're sacking everyone.
That's not the worst of it.
Have you spoken to Chappelli? He's not playing for any state or for North Melbourne.
Yeah, but they got him.
Won't even let him play for Glenelg.
You New South Wales blokes are getting the chop next.
Kerry better win this damn court case.
Well, if he doesn't, no-one's playing anywhere.
It's over.
Yep.
What are you gonna do? I don't know.
Nothing.
Baseball.
The authorities believed they acted in the best interest of cricket, but that is not enough to justify the action they took.
The authorities had an understandable desire to make things as difficult as possible for Mr Packer.
Nevertheless, Mr Packer and World Series Cricket has offered secure, remunerative employment to the cricketers at a time when most had no guarantee of regular employment in the game.
I find that the authorities acted without proper regard for the contractual rights of these players.
I find for the plaintiffs, with costs.
Yes? Kerry, it's Gavin Warner.
We blitzed them! Alright, it's on.
I've always had a firm belief in the great traditions of British justice.
And we've got costs.
320,000 bucks.
Serves 'em right.
They won't be too keen on another innings if it costs 'em that much every time, will they, Cornell? Mr Packer, just one question What? Hurry up! I'm eating.
Do you think this'll force the ICC to reopen negotiations? It'd be easier to get an audience with the Pope, and I'm not Catholic.
Piss off! Just one more question.
What?! The New South Wales Premier's sacking the whole board of the Sydney Cricket Ground Trust.
Just wondering if you're confident of playing at the SCG now? I've always been confident of that, son.
Now if you don't mind, my bacon's getting cold and that tie makes me want to throw up.
Thank you, Mr Packer.
Go and see my tailor, McFarline.
Thank you very much, Mr Packer.
Bloody journos! Still, this improves our position.
Maybe find a compromise with the board now, Kerry.
If we don't get the SCG, we've got just about no chance.
We've got bigger problems than that, son.
Please hold.
Mr Parish, there's another call from 'The Times' in London.
Tell them we're making no comment.
And 'The Bulletin' rang.
Trevor Kennedy Did you hear what I said? No comment.
So, we were well stuffed.
It's a resounding victory for Mr Packer and I congratulate him.
Now I'm happy to take your questions.
Mr Webster, the Ð250,000 in court costs against you? We'll of course be looking into how to fund this.
It's certainly a body blow.
Do you think a compromise is now possible? And will you appeal against the decision? We'll see about that.
I will of course let you know.
The Don called.
He wants us to set up an emergency committee.
For us to take Packer on? Yes.
Typical.
He loads the bullets but he never fires them.
So you won a court case? So what?! This just wins you the right to go bankrupt.
I'm disappointed in you.
Warner.
Uh, Mr Packer, Mr Singleton called.
So? Um, he said he'd call back.
About what? He didn't say.
He was Well, bloody well find out! And where were you on Tuesday night? I thought I told you you have to be here if I'm here! Mr Packer, it was 10 o'clock at night.
Did you hear what I just said? It was my birthday.
They were all waiting for me and Do you want this job or not? Of course.
Warner! Get in here.
And where's my advertising on the grounds? What are you doing?! Kerry, I got curators, I got accountants, I got players I've got the fuckin' players! And I have to deal with them! Engineers, the press.
I got bureaucrats, bloody groundsmen, you.
I'm exhausted.
I haven't seen my family in weeks.
Don't give me your fuckin' excuses, Warner.
I don't want to hear 'em.
And how come every time I turn around and there's a fuck-up, your name's on it?! Hey, Rosie.
It costs me money! Who's he got in there? Gavin Warner.
Right.
He's in such a horrible mood.
Mr Chester was here.
The company's financial situation is not very good.
And get me those numbers! How the fuck am I meant to run an organisation if I don't know what's going on?! That's it.
I'm resigning.
I can't take this shit anymore! Unless he's killing people, he thinks he's getting nowhere.
That's true.
Well, I wish him luck, 'cause he's gonna need it.
I'm out of here.
Tell Kerry I'll see him later.
You know, he has to win every time.
Always.
You know, he's got no idea how to take a punch.
Well, he's had to cop a few, Gav.
Yeah, from his father, I know.
We all know about that.
God, what kind of father belts his kids at home and then insults and humiliates him in public? Yeah.
So he's traumatised.
Boo-hoo.
I'm the one who has to pay for it.
It's all he knows, Gav.
You're just going to have to wear it.
Well, that's alright for you to say.
He doesn't have a go at you.
He needs you, Gav.
He just doesn't know how to show it.
Yeah.
We're still very vulnerable, you know that.
This whole thing needs you where you are.
I'll see you in the office tomorrow? Yeah? Yeah.
Good.
Good.
Knock his head off, Dennis! Won't get a better opportunity than night-time.
OK, Chappelli.
Red ball.
Righto.
Ohh.
Bloody hard to see.
How's that, Warren? Go again.
Go again.
Oh, nup.
Lost that completely.
Try orange.
Alright.
Maybe something a bit lighter? What do you reckon? Like your mother's undies! Righto.
Pink! I don't know.
Looks dumb, though.
Yeah.
Oh, it's the totally wrong colour, anyway.
Here we go.
Try yellow.
Yellow? Tony says yellow.
Righto.
Bewdy.
Yeah, that's it.
No.
Sorry, blokes.
Piss off, that's bloody perfect.
They're hitting the lights.
It's flaring on screen.
Looks shit.
Well, what is this, cricket or TV? Yeah, righto.
I don't know.
What do you think? White.
White! White, eh? I like that.
Yeah? Good.
Here we go.
White it is.
White it is.
Alright.
We got ourselves a ball.
What is it, Rosie? What do you mean, Mr Packer? Come on.
You bully me.
I bully everyone.
Haven't you noticed? Yes, but I'm here with you all the time.
So am I.
It's not easy.
It's tough times, Rosie.
I need you here.
I forgot it was your birthday.
How old were you? Same as me.
Oh, Mr Packer.
Oh, it's beautiful.
I can't take this.
It's It's too Well, if you don't like it, return it and get me my money back.
Mr Packer, I didn't mean that.
OK, alright.
I'm just going to turn you around a little bit.
Nice.
Fix up her hair, would you? Good.
Magic.
This'll stop them treading on the bloody things.
They were doing it on purpose.
I know.
OK? Let's test it.
That wicket should have been in a week ago.
It should have been in a month ago.
Don't tell me that.
I repeat, the game this weekend - will the damn thing be ready? It'll be ready.
You can guarantee that? Gavin, if it pisses down rain for the next three days, you can kiss your day-night game goodbye.
That is not good enough! For God's sake, where are the fuckin' covers? Settle down.
If it doesn't rain Jesus Christ, John.
What do you mean, if it doesn't rain? This is Melbourne! What the fuck is going on with you two?! And where's my advertising? The night cricket, it's scared every advertiser off.
They don't think it'll work.
So what are you doing standing around here? Get out there and start selling! Kerry, I've been trying Did you fuckin' hear me?! Go and do it! How are you, John? Kerry.
Yeah, that's it.
Nice.
OK, just dip your head.
That's it.
World-famous cricketer Tony Greig talks about Kellogg's Nutri-Grain.
Have you tried Kellogg's Nutri-Grain yet? It's even good straight out of the pack.
It looks like a tiny cricket bat with holes.
Nutri-Grain stays nice and crunchy in milk, too.
Mmm.
Nutri-Grain is made from corn, oats and wheat and it's got a lot of vitamins and protein.
Nutri-Grain's a beaut start if you need to eat and run.
Get 'em up! Where's Greigy? Dunno.
Who does? How's the ankle, Dennis? Ah, don't ask.
Oh, welcome, Greigy.
Glad you could join us.
What, are you too busy for training these days, are you? What's the matter with you, Chappell? What were you doing, a photo op? Another ad? What was it? Kellogg's, TAA, Waltons? Bloody Golden Books? Who else? What I do with my time is my business.
It's not your time, mate.
Kerry's paying for it.
And we're copping shit for not training hard enough and you're swanning off doing other shit.
Hey, listen, I train as hard as anyone.
I'll arrange my life in my own bloody way, not the way you want it.
Hey, guys, come on.
Would be alright if he deserved his place in the team.
What was that? What did you say? Mate, there is no way in the wide world that you are good enough to be in that team if the Windies blokes are there.
Simple.
OK, Chappell.
We'll see tomorrow night who's good enough.
Alright, let's play some cricket.
Come on, Chappelli.
We'll bat first.
OK.
Are we shaking hands, gentlemen? Oh, here we go.
What the fuck is that? It's a bone dome, Bacchus.
How does he even see the ball? I love it.
Gives me something to aim at.
You get him, FOT.
Oh, you're jokin'.
You see that? Dennis Lillee pitching very short.
Very, very short.
The crowd's a little disappointing on this historic occasion for the first ever day-night match.
Oh, and there's a good cricket shot, a la Keith Stackpole.
And that's great batting.
Richards in position quickly, the hammer.
Hey, Brighty? Bring us out a long sleever, will you, mate? It's getting a bit chilly out here.
Good on ya, pal.
Gentlemen.
What's the gate? Not sure yet.
More than 6,000.
The families are turning up.
Yes, but not enough of them.
Yeah! Yeah! I'll be whacking you all night if you keep putting up shit like that.
Oh! Prick.
This is an historic item.
So, what about the white ball? Well, it's perfect, Kerry.
You can see it from the bowler's hand.
Yeah, even bouncers.
It gets lost down low, though, Kerry.
What do you mean? Well, everyone's wearing whites.
Can't see it against their legs.
Well, what do we do about that? I just had a call from Tagge Webster in London.
They've decided not to appeal.
Smart decision.
How are they going to pay the court bill? They're still coming to terms with that.
Anyway, I've let the Don know.
How is he? Happy about the Australia-India test crowds.
We're killing World Series in numbers.
At least the public's got some brains.
He's still unhappy about losing Hookes.
He doesn't like losing, Bob.
No, he doesn't.
No, two types of people spin - politicians and bowlers.
Right now, we're politicians.
We can spin all we want, but the general public has to buy it.
They're starting to.
We just need critical mass.
Not only spin.
We have to give them substance.
We've got that.
No-one's faking it out there.
Give them time.
That crowd wasn't big enough.
Look at the test crowds against India.
If this keeps up, we'll be dead by the end of summer.
It's turned into bloody trench warfare.
Yes, it is.
And they're winning, Richie.
Easily.
And we thought, what do you give a man that has so much? There were a lot of suggestions, mostly bloody stupid.
But in the end we thought, "What's our relationship to this guy, really? "What's important between him and us?" So we got you a chequebook.
No, no, it's from the heart, boss.
Oh.
We hope you like it.
It's, um Well, this has got to be the world's most expensive cricket bat.
I want to thank each and every one of you, and I want you to know that the feelings are reciprocated.
In the In the short time that we've been together, I've come to respect you all.
This might come as a shock, I know, but I'm actually rather fond of you blokes.
KP! This will never leave my side.
Thank you.
We also had the same problem, Kerry.
What do you get the man? We know it's early days and there's tough times ahead, so we thought this man needs all the help he can get.
Oh, thank you, Mr Lloyd, thank you.
It's a bloody voodoo doll.
I tell you what, I probably need this more than the bloody bat.
- Three cheers for Kerry.
Hip, hip! - Hooray! Hip, hip Hooray! Hip, hip Hooray! Bowling to two slips and a gully.
Yep! Just the one.
Rodney Marsh through for a single.
Jeez, Andy's fired up.
It's OK.
I just heard Clive tell him he's only got three more overs.
Three? That's all.
We just have to hang on.
Andy Roberts here, the most experienced of the West Indian fast bowlers, and a great fast bowler in his own right.
This is another one! He won't catch this one.
And the crowd is delirious.
Hit him.
And he's in trouble.
You alright? You alright, mate? Where'd it get ya? The face? Jaw.
Wasn't quite inside it.
I'm alright.
No, mate, you're going off.
And he's retired hurt for the moment on 81.
I'm sorry, Chappelli.
Mate, don't worry about it.
How is he? Ambulance is on its way.
Bugger the ambulance.
Come on! I can't hear anything I say.
Come on.
OK, alright.
Come on, let's go.
In you hop.
Watch your head.
OK? You right? Oh, bloody hell, Kerry.
You alright? You OK? Slow down, slow down.
I'm just trying to take the attention off your jaw.
You're doing a bloody good job of it.
And we're back with our usual guest, Peter McFarline of the 'Age', joined tonight by English sports writer Clive Bell to give us some insight into the present crisis in Australian cricket.
So back to you, Pete.
Now that the first full World Series Cricket season's drawing to a close, what's the verdict? I'd say it's a draw, Gary.
Packer and the ACB are locked in an arm-wrestle and no-one's leaning over yet.
Clive? Well, I'm giving it to your cricket board.
The Indian tour is hugely successful.
Bobby Simpson's a very popular Australian captain and the crowds are turning up in their thousands.
But not in the numbers the board was expecting, and that's the trouble.
Well, exactly.
There is only so many people who go to the cricket and what Packer has done, he has split cricket right down the middle.
And that's the tragedy of it, Gary.
I mean, blokes I know, cricketers who used to be mates, are now no longer talking to each other.
You mean like Bobby Simpson calling the World Series players 'slobs'? Exactly.
Packer might think he's doing the right thing by the cricketers, but as history shows, you go into a war, it's very difficult to get out of it.
Oh, we all know he's losing money hand over fist, as are the boards.
Now I don't think it's a draw, Gary.
I think everyone's losing.
Yeah, it's a bloody mess.
What about some of their cricket, though? It's pretty riveting stuff.
The point is they are just playing for money.
I don't think the Australian public will wear it.
Yeah, Gary, not good enough.
Well, we'll be back after a break.
Five, four, three, two, one Happy new year! Warner! Where's Cornell? Haven't seen him all night.
Tell him I want to see him in my office in the morning.
Right.
Wait! Where'd you get this thing from? The roulette table? What do you reckon, huh? I rented it.
Had to take a few doors off to get it in.
Buy it.
What the hell for? I might want to put it in my pocket and take it home.
Where you blokes off to? The movies, man.
Do you wanna come? The movies? Now? 'Deep Throat', man.
Gavin Warner got it from someone.
Shit, yeah.
Let's go.
Hookesy! Where ya goin'? Happy new year.
Where were you last night? Sorry I couldn't make it.
I was busy.
Doing fucking what? Me and Dellie got married.
Don't invite a bloke, will ya? It was on the QT.
We didn't invite anyone, except family.
Got married at midnight.
On New Year's Eve? Easy to remember.
You're a fuckin' romantic bastard, son.
I'll give you that.
Who was your best man? My 8-year-old nephew.
Oh! What do you want for a present? I want this to work, Kerry.
Yeah.
Whoa.
That'll do.
No more.
Thanks, Dennis.
Well done, David.
Thanks, boss.
Hookesy, what's wrong? I'm fair dinkum havin' flashbacks of that ball from Andy.
As soon as Dennis gets any speed up, I shit myself.
Well, that's not good.
Bloke at the hospital said it'd take five years to get over.
You're selected for next week, mate.
You're going to have to front up to Big Bird, Andy, Imran.
I know.
I can do it, Chappelli.
I just need to get one ball away.
As soon as I get off the mark, I know I'll be OK.
Mate, they're not going to be doing you any favours.
Just one ball.
I ordered those helmets from your blokes in Birmingham.
I don't want any more broken jaws.
We've been approached by another mob, Kerry.
Coonan & Denlay out of Sydney.
What do they make? Horse rider helmets.
They're really good, apparently.
What? We don't want to look like we're playing polo.
Doesn't matter what you look like, son, as long as you get out with your brains intact.
G'day, guys.
It's looking good, isn't it? What do you want, Pete? I just want to confirm something.
I hear there's some dissension in the ranks.
Bit of infighting going on.
Where'd you hear that? Oh, it's understandable.
I mean, the crowds aren't coming.
It's costing more than anyone thought, and so on.
Look around you, mate.
The gang's all here.
Well, no-one's buying any advertising.
You'll be lucky to last out the season.
I heard you've had a major resignation.
I'm just wondering who it was.
No-one's leaving, mate.
That's not what I heard.
I don't give a shit what you heard.
No-one's resigned, no-one's leaving.
Alright? Righto.
Oh, yeah! Ha-ha-ha! Yeah, look, we're sure it'll be a great contest.
Not a big crowd again, Ian.
Is this turning into a worry for World Series? The crowds will come.
We're confident of that.
Well, they haven't come up till now.
I mean, the Aussie-India test crowds have been much bigger.
What makes you think World Series will make a breakthrough? The quality of cricket.
These are the best around.
Look at the guys we're playing today - the World.
They're the best bunch of cricketers I've ever seen with one exception.
Lillee coming in again to Lloyd.
Beautiful shot.
Drives square.
There he goes.
Beautiful square cut from Barry Richards.
Short delivery.
Lloyd and Richards completely comfortable out there against Lillee, who's struggling with the ball.
He's showing absolutely none of his usual impact.
The World batsmen are relishing this uncharacteristic performance from the great bowler.
The Australians Well bowled.
Out.
Greenidge, caught Marsh, bowled Walker.
Lillee back into the attack now.
Very unusual for this man to go wicketless for so long.
Oh, good shot.
This has produced a glorious shot.
Here he goes again.
That's four runs.
And the punishment continues for the Australians, particularly for Lillee, who's really copping it this morning.
At lunch, the World team is 2/144, with Viv Richards on 78 and looking extremely comfortable.
The Australians are in all sorts of trouble.
Chappell's men not used to being handled in this cavalier fashion.
Lillee, at none for 51, is struggling, having none of his usual impact on the game.
I got them compiled.
Good, I'm going to have to run them for Kerry.
It's the northern end mike first.
Oh, fuckin' hell! You fucking piece of shit! You call that a shot? Oh, fuck me drunk, mate! What are you doin'?! Oh, fuck me, I've seen better bowling from a girl, mate.
And it's all going out to Mum and Dad and the kids.
Well, get them onto the faders quicker, for God's sake.
Right.
Hey, boys.
Hey, FOT.
Got any shots of me run-up? Ah It's a hard Fuck off.
I don't reckon he's been told that too often.
Yep, got it.
Thanks, boys.
Right.
You can see Dennis Lillee coming back into the attack to replace Lenny Pascoe.
Yes, caught behind.
That's Dennis Lillee's second wicket since lunch.
He's getting the ball to move off the pitch now.
His line and length are superb.
I don't know what was on the menu at lunch, but Lillee must have had a double helping.
This is a completely different bowler.
The World are now in significant trouble.
There's the bouncer to Greig, who sways out of trouble.
Lillee now enjoying his time out there.
This great fast bowler can't be kept down for too long.
He's got him on the helmet, I think.
Could be the first strike, and Lillee the man to do it.
I'm watching it from the box, guys.
Bloody well done.
Yeah, it's looking good.
Yeah.
It's amazing what a difference five cameras make.
We've got seven.
I thought it was five.
Seven's better.
Lillee again.
And that's it.
A tremendous comeback by the Australians.
And now they're right back into the game, thanks in large part to Dennis Lillee.
Wicketless before lunch, but something happened out there, and he's now walking off with a remarkable 5/82.
Roberts to McCosker.
And he's gone, caught behind.
And that's Ian Chappell out.
That's a blow for Australia.
Very annoyed, Ian Chappell.
The vital breakthrough for the World.
He's bowled him.
He's gone.
Yorker again.
What a cricket match this is.
What must he be feeling now? The first ball since his smashed jaw is critical.
This is it.
How are you? You alright? Not really.
OK, well, ball at a time, yeah? Yep.
Let's go, David.
Garner delivers the ball from such a great height.
He gets enormous lift.
It's in the air! Good chance! Could be six or out! That's six! Thanks, Big Bird.
Welcome back, Hookesy.
That one was a great shot from a young man making a comeback.
Like I said.
Well, I'm going down the other end.
Anyone coming? You've been doing something.
You have been doing something.
Just striking the ball? Not too much chop here.
Hey, you can piss off out of this dressing-room, mate.
You're not wanted in here.
Well, if you want me out, how about you come and bloody get me out? Hey, hey, hey, come on.
Come on.
Cool it, man.
Well played, Big Bird.
Thanks, man.
Nicely played, Clive.
Thanks, man.
Viv magic.
Thanks.
Andy.
Your team played well today.
Excuse me, Mr Packer? Are you aware of the announcement by the Australian Cricket Board that they are interested in night cricket? No.
But I'll tell you what I am aware of.
I'm aware of them calling us a ridiculous fad and a circus act.
Mr Packer, the board's apparently arranging to put on official cricket under lights.
Bob Parish reckons he's been planning night cricket for some time.
Well, that is complete bullshit but I wish him luck with it.
Do you see this as a move towards reconciliation? No, I don't see it as anything of the sort.
Maybe they're coming our way a little bit but there's still a long way to go.
Now excuse me.
"They've been thinking about it for some time.
" Now, that takes the cake.
They're starting to fold.
No, they're not.
Kerry.
Hey.
You are the hardest bloke to get along with that I've ever met.
What do you mean? I knew you'd be cranky, so I sat there for a long time trying to work out what to say.
I tried to say something to make you feel better.
I tried to find the most inoffensive words to help you, and you told me to fuck off.
Chappelli.
FOT.
Cheers, mate.
How's that for a season? It was different.
Mm-hm.
My ankle's now completely buggered.
Mate, you took 5/82.
Who gives a shit about an ankle? Yeah, well, I just wanna say it's been great with you and the guys the last couple of seasons.
Is that right? I'm slowing down a bit.
Thanks for everything.
You can bloody put that away.
Shake my hand.
I don't shake medium pacers by the hand.
I only shake hands with fast bowler Shake my hand.
You heard me.
Shake my hand! I told you, I only shake hands with fast bowlers.
Fuck you.
I'll be back next season, I'll take more wickets than anyone else.
Good, FOT.
That's what I wanted to hear.
Fuck you.
Well another season like that and it's all over.
No more mucking about.
Tickets? We're going ahead with a print of some mock-ups.
They'll be ready for next meeting.
Why aren't they ready now? We only put the order in last week.
Remember, you wanted them to be Forget it.
Programs? Same.
Clothing.
You got the colours right at least.
What about the caps? Well, the peaks are too short.
They're the same length as the official ones.
Yeah, but they don't look right.
Make 'em longer.
Wickets.
They're ahead of schedule, Kerry, as we discussed yesterday.
Of course.
Thank you, Richie.
Ah, Mr Hill.
Coverage.
Yeah, from the nine camera positions we've got we should I thought there were seven.
Nine's better.
Also, the wicket mike problems are fixed.
And we'll be training up the camera guys during the winter, and there'll be two full rehearsal days.
The cherry picker camera? Yeah, still testing it.
Well, get it right.
It's a good idea, David.
What's the scheduled games cost? $1.
4 million.
Well, we'd better draw a crowd.
The press.
Select journos have a draft program for the season, Kerry, just to give them an idea.
Some of them are coming across much better.
Good.
Legals.
We're still before the Federal Court on use of the word 'test' in Australia.
Well, I know that, don't I? What I want is an idea of when these bastards will make up their mind.
It's hard to tell.
I've spoken What do you mean, "hard to tell"? I'll talk to Turnbull and see if I can get a clearer idea as Why haven't you done that already? Kerry, there is no hurry.
Either way, we have to go along with There you fuckin' go again! Rose.
Ian.
He's waiting for you.
Is he, uh, still upset with me? I don't think he could stay angry at any of you boys for too long.
Right.
Is that right? Mmm.
Warner.
Get in here.
You're an Adelaide bloke, son.
The Don, he's put out feelers.
"What do we think about using the Adelaide Oval?" Why would he do that? He hates us.
He's got an angle, obviously.
Yeah, he's sniffing the breeze.
He's good at that.
Hmm.
Oh, well, it's good for us, Kerry.
He never backs a loser.
What is it? G'day, Chappelli.
G'day, mate.
Don't sit.
Tell him.
Had a few beers with Lenny Pascoe.
Jeff Thomson's not happy playing for Simmo.
He wants to come back to us.
Well, how the hell do we do that? He's contracted to this bloody radio station.
Plus he's got a binding contract with the board.
Thommo and Lillee back together's a gift for us.
It'll get our crowds up.
If he wants back in, we'll have him.
Find a way.
Find a way.
Jesus.
Who's the old man? That's Austin's dad.
Fastest man in the world in his day.
FOT's got his dander up, Ian.
Mmm.
He's pissed off at you.
Yeah, good.
Yeah, alright.
Well, he just keeps getting better.
I copped three in the guts for that.
Fuckin' worth it, though.
Look at him go.
The first problem fixes itself.
The radio station's been bought by another group.
Thomson's contract's with the previous owners.
We can argue he doesn't have a contractual relationship with the new proprietors.
What do you mean, you can argue? Does he have a contract with them or not? Maybe, possibly not.
It's a ground we can fight on.
In court.
That'll cost.
Now, as to his contract with the cricket board - he retires.
We'll script the letter for him.
They won't be happy.
The board won't force him to stay.
The cricket public would crucify 'em.
"Poor Thommo, he's been great.
"If he wants to go, they should let him," etc, etc.
They nullify his contract, Thommo's officially retired on, say, Friday, OK? Mmm.
Monday morning, bang, what happens? Thommo rediscovers the old fire, loves the game, wants to play for Australia and signs up for World Series Cricket.
Is it just me or does that sound too easy? It's just you.
Are you sure? I mean, I'm not a lawyer, but Kerry takes it all on himself.
I don't know how he does it.
He must be feeling it somewhere.
He's such a lovely man.
Tell that to Gavin Warner.
So, what are you gonna do? What do you mean? Come on, I've seen you like this before.
You are far too quiet.
He's got the Sydney Cricket Ground, he's got the lights being built, but it's the same problem as always.
What if they don't come? Yeah.
Should be working by now.
Hey, Strop! Everyone's working their arses off.
We're paddling like buggery but we're getting nowhere.
So, this first game at the cricket ground with the lights If it's like VFL Park on that first day It won't be that bad.
People have been coming.
Dellie, this whole thing could still turn to shit.
What do you do when someone's ignoring you? Make a lot of noise right in front of them.
His name's Wessels.
Kepler Wessels.
He's just about to turn 21.
He's a kid.
But what a kid, Kerry.
He's marvellous to watch.
Swimming champion, tennis champion, rugby.
He played schoolboy cricket.
And can you believe this? He left one of his schools with a batting average of 270.
Wow.
Sign him.
No, no, I want to see him first.
Here we go.
How are you? Excellent.
Dim sims.
Lovely.
Spring rolls.
Great.
Fried rice.
Beef and black bean sauce.
Chicken chop suey.
And sweet-and-sour pork with extra sweet-and-sour.
Thank you very much, my friend.
Excellent.
Now, he can't come straight from South Africa and play the West Indians because of the agreement.
So we slip him into a game for Sussex or somewhere, and then, bingo, he's in.
Alright.
Good.
Good.
Have you seen Warner's ad campaign for the summer? Yeah.
What do you think? It's bloody ordinary, Kerry.
"Come and watch the white ball fly"? I mean, what kind of crap's that? What the fuck are you doing? That's mine.
Uh, it's Chinese food, Kerry.
You share it.
No, I ordered it, it's mine.
Put it back on the plate.
Go on.
There you go.
Thank you.
Good.
TV ads, radio ads, print ads, all boring.
We can do a lot better.
Well, what are you gonna do about it? Well, I was thinking I could go and see this guy, Big Al.
Big Al? Mm-hm.
Writes songs.
Alright in the middle of the night Finding touch together This way please, Mr Cornell.
Which, thank the Lord, I'm not, sir The kind of man that I would be Would be a weak reporter I'd go hard, she'd go hard We'd both go hard together Thank you.
G'day, Corny.
G'day, Allan.
How are ya? Good.
The boys are getting vocal out there.
Oh, one of the blokes is on his way to New York so they're farewelling him.
They've been at it for quite a while.
Sounds like it.
So, you and your mate Packer, you're creating quite a stir.
That's your brief, Al - create a stir.
G'day, Strop.
Alan.
How are you, mate? Good.
It's quite a brief.
We've, uh we've been thinking about it.
Good.
I need some of your magic.
You say here something patriotic.
Yeah, an anthem.
We're up against the Ashes, 100 years of nostalgia.
We've got to invent a new history.
Mmm, invent history.
That's a nice brief, John.
Thanks.
You want, like, a rugby song? No, bigger, grander.
A war cry? A call to arms.
Something like that.
Hear that? Limericks, that's it.
That's it.
That's what we need for the verse.
You're kidding.
No, no, no, the A-A-B-B-A rhyme.
It's a much maligned rhyming form.
For good reason.
No, no, no, that's just the lyrics.
Don't worry about that.
We were thinking a chorus, something along the lines of this Come on, Australia Show us what ya made-a Come on, Australia Whoa, uh Come on.
We, uh, just had the court decision come through.
We can't use the word 'test' and we can't use 'Australia'.
Bugger.
But we can call ourselves 'Australians'.
Come on, Australians Come on, Australians No, that's awful.
So, what have we got? What have we got? What do we need? Um Marshie's taking wickets Hookesy's clearing pickets And we need something that rhymes with 'green'.
Green? The Chappellis are catching it so clean No.
It's cricket like you've never seen? 'Glean'.
Something 'glean'.
'Gleam'.
'Gleaned'.
Eyes have got the gleam, something.
Dougie's eyes have got the dreaded gleam.
No, it's not quite right.
The Chappells.
The, uh Th-the Chappells' eyes have got the killer gleam.
The Chappells.
The Chappell.
The Chappells' eyes.
Marshie's taking wickets Hookesy's clearing pickets And the Chappells' eyes have got that killer gleam I like it.
Great.
That's it? Great, yep.
Well, let's, um Shall we? Please.
We were thinking, like, maybe starting with a montage, a training montage or something.
Um, and it's, like spoken word, um You've been training all the winter There's not a team that's fitter And that's the way it's gotta be 'Cause you're up against the best, you know This is Supertest, you know You've gotta beat the best the world has seen Lillee's pounding down like a machine Pascoe's making divots in the green Marshie's taking wickets Hookesy's clearing pickets And the Chappells' eyes have got that killer gleam Oh, mate.
Hey, Tweety! The sun is shining.
Yeah, yeah.
You wanna try out for 'Sesame Street'? You are the ugliest model I've ever seen.
Baby blue, eh? Here ya go, Sacker.
Yeah, yeah, up ya bloody game.
I'm not wearing this.
You'll be the only guy on the field that's not, Hubie.
We look ridiculous.
Yeah, it looks like your Mum's pyjamas, mate.
Yeah, yeah.
You gotta bloody wear 'em too.
- Bastards.
- Take your pads off.
What the fuck were you thinking with this Thomson bullshit?! What? What? What's my job in this organisation, hmm? Fixing problems of your fuckin' making! Kerry, I've got no idea what you're talking about.
Well that's been obvious for quite a fuckin' while.
Why don't you go work for Murdoch? You were laughed out of court with this stupid idea for Thomson.
My idea?! Now the board get to keep him.
And you get to look like the fuckin' clown you are! It was not my idea! Is that right? It was the legal guy.
He was convinced it would work.
I was the one that How's the ad campaign?! Honestly, it was not my Advertising?! Well Doesn't fuckin' matter.
I'll talk with Cornell.
Oh, g'day, Strop.
Hey, those cricket ads, that bloody song, can't get it out of my head.
That's why I'm here, mate.
Kerry's not happy with how many times you're running them.
How many times are they on tonight between 6:00 and 10:00? Uh, two.
Hm, only two? Not enough.
Kerry wants four.
No, five.
Well, shit, who can I kick off? Give us a look.
Uh, Claytons three times.
Get rid of them.
Ansett, who fuckin' cares? Better drop one of them, too.
Ruffles chips, piss that off.
He wants us to cut five? That's what he said.
And he wants it done every night.
Every night? I won't catch up.
This is the cricket, mate.
Rose, what are you doing? Go home.
I can't.
Why, what's the problem? Mr Packer likes me to be available as long as he's here.
You leave Mr Packer to me.
No, please don't say anything.
I had all this work to do anyway.
$12 million, Kerro.
It's coming together, Harry.
Yes, it is.
What you've got now is a functioning organisation.
Congratulations.
But the role of that organisation is to lose the company's money.
We're getting too close to the edge.
Remember that conversation we had last year after you dumped 6 million? Your father, Kerro, would have cut his losses by now.
I know.
He would have given himself an escape route.
You don't have any.
It's not good business.
What are you doing? He had big plans for you.
Oh, no, he didn't! Clyde was gonna run everything, remember? I'm not Clyde.
And you're not the old man.
Still, you're in the shoes now.
So far it's not a good fit.
Your father would never risk the lot, never.
I've got the Sydney Cricket Ground lights, and the game on Tuesday.
That's all you've got.
Listen, Kerro, it's one minute past midnight.
When you're way behind on the night, a final roll of the dice is not a smart thing to do.
Mr Warner.
Rose.
Are you alright? I've got an ulcer.
My wife hates me.
So do my kids.
So so do I.
He pushes a button and he whistles at me like a dog.
I know.
How do you do it? I just do it.
Tuesday night's make or break, Rosie.
If it comes off, I'm alive.
If it doesn't I'm going into the library.
Come on, Cornell.
Where are we going? I've got something I want you to see.
What do you think, son? You see that one there? Yep.
That's yours.
All these others are mine.
You ready? Well, let there be light.
Yeah.
Yes, it's a magnificent sight, Richie.
People are just waiting for the sun to go down to really capture this atmosphere.
And it certainly is a historical night here.
It really is a fantastic sight.
And people queuing up outside, trying to get into the ground.
You.
You! What's your name? Tim, Mr Packer.
Tim, why aren't you letting 'em in? Well, the place is full.
We got to capacity a while ago.
Well, you can't keep 'em out there, son.
Mr Packer, there's 10,000 of them.
Just open the fuckin' gates, will ya? Well, the ticketing booths are closed.
We've got no staff.
Listen to me, son, that doesn't matter.
Let 'em in anyway.
They want to see cricket.
We'll let them see cricket.
OK, boys, step aside.
Let 'em in.
Enjoy the game.
Enjoy the game.
Good shot.
Yes, timed that beautifully.
Going away down the hill towards the fence at the southern, Randwick, end.
Good shot.
50,000 out there.
I'm watching this with the 2 million people at home, son.
It is so big that they've thrown the gates open not closed them, thrown them open.
Hear that? They know the words.
Yep.
Kerry, I've got a confession.
This might be a good time to tell you.
Tell me what? I've been going into Channel 9 and getting them to drop ads and putting ours on instead.
Jesus, son.
You might be hearing from a few companies.
Oh, he's hooking it! Yeah, it's six! Bloody hell, Cornell! A beer, thank you.
This is it, Kerry.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
Morning, Rose.
Morning, Mr Warner.
Well, what do you think, huh? I thought the party started a bit early.
Who the fuck organised that? Thommo.
G'day.
You can bowl, son, but you haven't got a fuckin' idea how to organise your life.
Yeah.
Welcome back.
Thanks, boss.
Kerry.
I was talking to Ray Steele after the board called me in.
Said he wouldn't mind seeing all of this over.
Did he, now? And that's it for another night with our guests, Peter McFarline and Clive Bell, asking the big questions on cricket.
Well, there's a long way to go finessing this new version of a great old game.
How long can these players keep this up? Lillee breaking down again, Thomson out with a back problem, Gilmour's done a hamstring.
Even Greg Chappell, for the first time ever, is in trouble.
These men who have given everything are now at breaking point.
Goodnight.
It's time to go home now, Rosie.
The Australians look absolutely fantastic in the field in their gold-coloured outfits.
Now, where were we? Firstly, in principle, I'm happy for you to run the game.
My offer, which you fuckin' knocked back, was half a million a year when the ABC contract expires, which is next month.
Accept that? Yes.
Out! Lloyd gone! The West Indies 3/15.
The crowd goes absolutely mad.
Totally exclusive TV rights.
Right.
I get exclusive promotional rights to the game in Australia.
Right.
For 10 years.
Right.
The coloured clothing stays.
Yes.
And The ball hits the stumps, but well home.
We work out the details later.
Um We'll take it to the executive.
I'd appreciate it.
Hey, mate.
How are you? Hey, guys.
I'll see you in a bit.
Tony.
Hey.
Hey, where's Kerry? He's not in there? I haven't seen him.
Are you coming back? Yeah.
Yeah, mate.
No, you don't need any of that.
What you do is you get a building with a great big bloody front door and you light it up like a fucking Christmas tree.
The punters come in, empty their wallets and you open the door for them on their way out.
"See you next week.
" No, it's gotta be the world's easiest way of making money, son.
Nah, what's a couple of roulette wheels cost? Yeah, righto.
Yeah, goodo.
Tell Jimmy I'll see him in London, Monday.