It's Florida, Man. (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

1
NARRATOR:
What you're about to see
may be dangerous,
illegal, unethical,
petty, misguided, immoral,
and most definitely stupid.
But it's also all true.
Hmm. Sort of.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC MERDA: So,
I ventured into the woods,
and I come across this lake.
The water looked inviting.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
ERIC: So, I was swimming
on my back.
There's three stars
triangulating.
And I said, "That looks
an awful lot like a gator."
It's the first time I realized
there might be
alligators in the lake.
I got scared.
I look over, sure enough.
(SHRIEKS)
If you never wake,
you can never dream.
But if you die,
you're never gonna
have a nightmare.
You've gotta live that nightmare
to get through it
-to have a dream.
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
If any any of that at all
makes sense to anybody,
you're twice as crazy as I am.
(LAUGHS)
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I get to maybe be on TV. If not,
I get to at least act like it.
Look at these guys.
We're filming each other.
(LAUGHS)
-How y'all doing this morning?
-CREW: Good, how you doin'?
Good. Good, man.
I'll shut mine down.
That's just something
for the family right there.
Man, you know,
I-- I haven't been out here
since I lost my arm.
It was down that way somewhere.
I came back across the fence.
It was over here
where I jumped through.
My name's Eric Merda.
I was born in Cleveland, Ohio.
I moved down to Florida,
probably when I was five,
six years old.
I would say I'm definitely
a Florida Man.
(CHUCKLES) Not the sharpest tool
in the shed,
but I'll stab you
with the sharpest tool. (LAUGHS)
(“OLD COWBOY SONG” BY
RICHARD A. GALEENER PLAYING) ♪
Let's put the facts out there.
I was not doing well. (LAUGHS)
Let me sing you
An old cowboy song ♪
I just lost my girl.
The kind of song
Where you can sing along ♪
(GROANS)
ERIC: I was getting bored
of my life.
-I was getting bored of my job.
-Shit!
ERIC: I was fixing sprinklers.
(SCREAMS)
Let me sing you
An old cowboy song ♪
ERIC:
I just didn't care anymore.
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
(GROANS)
Just sick of everything,
sick of life in itself.
("RUNNING WILD"
BY SURGE FRANKLIN PLAYING) ♪
Ended up driving south on 675,
in my 2002 Econoline.
Running wild, rolling free ♪
ERIC: I didn't know what to do
with myself.
I'd never been alone before.
What do you do
with that kind of freedom?
Eric, you know, he felt
like he never had enough.
It became a search
for fulfillment.
I'm trying to do
something different.
I'm trying to find myself again.
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
ERIC: Seeing the turn in
I was like,
"Never been there before."
("4AM AT THE BORDER"
BY CAVENDISH MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC: I turned in,
drove down here
to the boat ramp.
There's a dumpster down there.
Oh! Hell, yeah.
ERIC: So I started throwing
my garbage into the dumpster.
And I seen garbage
laying around the dumpster.
I seen it lined up
along the fence line.
Like, this is
where people hang out.
Like, why would you want
this kind of stuff there?
So I start picking that up.
I was on a mission
to try to help clean up
the world.
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
WADE: Ugh!
We were down here, uh,
on a Sunday,
throwing horseshoes.
Saw a strange fellow
just kind of walking around,
picking up little bits of trash,
and putting them
in little piles everywhere.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC: I was trying
to make piles of garbage
throughout the woods,
'cause it's all through
back there, it's garbage, man.
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC: And I noticed there
was this fence.
Something was strange
about this fence.
That fence
represented a border
that I wanted to break.
The real freedom
was out there, man.
That's where your freedom is.
That's your freaking America,
out there.
That's why I went over
that fence,
to go find a new me.
That fence
was me crossing the line.
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-("ERIC" GRUNTS)
Boy, am I good
at crossing the line. (LAUGHS)
It's kind of what I do.
It's definitely a huge part
of what I do.
-(THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-He kind of meandered off
and walked over to the woods
over there, and uh,
he crawled over the fence,
crawled under the fence,
and then crawled back
over the fence.
And then off in the woods
he went,
and we never saw him again.
ERIC: The swamp feels like
it just kept calling me.
I wanted to make
the swamp my bitch.
I said, "Fuck it."
Kept going deeper
back into the woods.
And I tried to barrel
my way through it like a bull.
Ah, shit.
ERIC: And then keep going.
Go underneath
-(GROANS)
-climb on, go around.
I get probably halfway
through that brush.
I have no clue where I am.
Cut from head to toe.
Been out here a couple
of hours already.
(GROANS, PANTS)
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
Do I go back? Do I go forward?
I didn't really know, man.
So I moved forward.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC: Nighttime comes.
(GROANS)
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC: And now,
I come across this lake.
(BREATHES HEAVILY, GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
ERIC: I'm cut from head to toe,
and I'm just thinking
"The water looked inviting."
I'm a Florida Man,
I can swim. (CHUCKLES)
And I've got my boots
in my hand,
heavy, wet. I'm trying to swim
with them in one arm.
So now, I'm stuck
in the middle of it.
And the boots are drowning me.
So, these boots go
to the bottom of the lake,
along with the pants.
I'm swimming forward,
I'm swimming backwards.
I went underwater
a couple of times, man.
I I dove down to see
how deep it was.
This is the first time
I realized
there might be alligators
in the lake,
which is pretty stupid
for a Florida Man.
And it should have been
the first thing I thought about.
JUSTIN MATTHEWS:
There's a lot of gators
out there at Lake Manatee.
Sometimes when you go out there
around dusk,
if it's warm,
you can see 20 heads
sticking out of the water
out there.
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
-Can I take a picture of y'all?
-CREW: Oh, yeah, sure.
Cool.
My name is Justin Matthews.
I'm the founder
of Matthews Wildlife Rescue.
I'm from Bradenton, Florida.
I've lived here all my life.
I've only been out
of the state once.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
JUSTIN: And you need to know
if you live in Florida,
when you're looking
at any wild animal,
you don't want
to interact with them.
ERIC: So,
I was swimming on my back,
looking up at the stars,
just as if I was
at the beach, man.
I look over, sure enough.
(SHRIEKS)
The alligator's, like,
a foot and a half,
maybe two feet away from me.
I'm looking dead
in this thing's eye.
Man, that camera's further away
from me than that alligator was.
(SHRIEKS)
And I went to freestyle swim.
Before my right arm even touched
the water down,
that alligator had a hold
of my forearm.
("ERIC" YELLS)
ERIC: He's got my forearm
in his grip,
and I got my arm over his ribs,
trying to pull.
I don't want this thing
to roll on me.
That's how gators
kill their prey.
They do a death roll
on the bottom.
-(SCREAMS)
-(LAUGHS)
We can roll, but we ain't
gonna do the death part.
(LAUGHS)
Well, the gator,
when he grabbed his arm,
I'm sure you heard a crunch.
(SNAPS)
My arm bent backwards.
I just kick as hard
as I possibly can.
Push this thing up
out the water.
He takes me down,
I push it out again.
He takes me back down,
I push it out again.
And then it just
ripped it off of him.
And the gator took off,
wagging his tail,
big old bone in his mouth,
and a smile on his face,
just like a little chihuahua.
(CLEARS THROAT)
You want me to get my gator?
(ALLIGATOR GROWLING)
JUSTIN: Yeah, he's warning me.
(LAUGHS) Come on.
Come on.
She just peed on me. Yeah.
This is Miranda.
She's an alligator.
I've only had her
for about a week
and she's bonding
with me really good.
-(CHUCKLES)
-(QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
You doing okay?
You gonna rip my nose off?
No? Okay.
If you got your arm bit off
by an alligator,
you're probably gonna
bleed to death.
I mean, adrenaline is, uh--
It's an amazing thing.
It makes you do
superhuman things.
(INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
("ERIC" GASPS, PANTS)
At this point, I assume
I'm bleeding all over the place.
I have no clue
how I'm not already dead.
(WHIMPERS, PANTS)
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
ERIC: Finally found
some solid land,
trying to sleep,
sleeping on and off.
I'm getting eaten up by ants,
one arm, butt naked.
Probably in shock.
Waiting for the grasses
to start parting,
'cause this alligator's
stalking me
like it's a lion
or something, right?
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(ALLIGATOR GROWLING)
ERIC'S MOM: Hey, Eric.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Mom?
God sent me here, Eric.
Hey, Mom!
I do believe, spiritually,
my mother came down,
and took my arm to save my life.
She seen me on the wrong road
and she had to do it.
I took your arm
to save your life,
because you're
on a really bad path.
"ERIC": (SOBBING)
Thank you, Mom.
ERIC: At the end of the day,
my arm had to be taken
to save my life.
And who better to do it
than my own mother?
ELISSA BENSON: Ooh! Somebody's
got a lot of energy in here.
Who is that?
CREW: Who do you think it is?
Is there a way to tell?
You
have a high energy content.
-My name is Elissa Benson.
-(QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I'm a hypnotherapist,
and I specialize
in past life regression.
(DINGS)
ELISSA:
The reason that we are born
and come to Earth
is to try and raise
our vibration
with each lifetime.
I've had a lifetime in Atlantis.
I've had a lifetime in Egypt.
Every part of history
that you can imagine,
I have seen.
Let me ask.
May I ask for somebody else?
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
So, that's a yes. Okay, stop.
May I ask for Eric?
These are my guides answering me
through this.
Stop.
Is Eric's belief
that the alligator
was his mother true?
No, was his fantasy,
which is what I suspected.
-PRODUCER: You think?
-Didn't want to say.
No, because it's not
for me to say
-PRODUCER: Yeah.
-that you're having
a fantasy.
-PRODUCER: Oh, yeah.
-Okay.
We can feel things
that aren't true. (SCOFFS)
How many of us have believed
things that aren't true?
"Oh, he really loves me."
(CHUCKLING) Yeah, right!
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING ) ♪
I do not believe
that a human's soul
or their body or
or any way can go when you die,
I don't believe you're
go inside an animal,
and then you're that animal.
I don't believe that at all.
My aunts, uncles, and friends,
they like to argue with me,
and say, "It was not your mom,
this was a terrible tragedy,"
and all of that, and I respect
that opinion, and I agree.
It it is a terrible thing.
"Tragedy"? I don't know
about that, man.
We may never know
what happened out there.
Sometimes I don't want to know
what happened out there.
I do know one thing,
is he fought, every day,
'cause he wanted to live.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC: Been missing my arm,
going on towards a day now.
ERIC: Nothing to eat.
I'm done. It's not fun no more.
That's it, the fun part's over.
Hello?
Thought I heard something.
I'm trying
to walk through the swamp.
Things sticking and poking me.
Paranoid out of my freaking mind
of this damn gator, man.
Alligator, where are you?
Finally came out of there
into an orange grove,
where I tried to eat
one of the green oranges.
I thought about taking honey
from some man-made beehives,
'cause I'm, like, starved
and I'm thirsty as heck.
I found, I believe,
three separate ATVs.
I was trying to hotwire them
to find a way out of there.
And I climbed a tree
with one arm!
(LAUGHS) And I'm waving
at helicopters and airplanes,
and screaming
at the top of my lungs.
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
ERIC: I was ready to give up,
you know,
I'm legitimately looking
for vultures at this point.
Oh fuck, they're circling me.
DENNIS: I suspect
that the bleeding,
just because the way
his arm was mangled,
it probably crushed him enough
to where it slowed down.
I mean, I I don't see
how you could live
for two and a half days
not going into shock
with your arm bit off,
lost in the woods.
It's a miracle they found him.
I don't know
how he's still alive.
He's lucky to be alive.
He's lucky they didn't drag
him down and drowned him.
You know, then they would have
finished off the next day.
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
What's crazy is how vividly
I remember all this stuff,
you know?
That sure looks like
it might be the cut fence.
That's the kind of water
I was dipping my hand in
and trying to drink.
I mean, could you imagine
for three days laying there,
with no arm, no medical care,
taking your hand
and just sipping water?
Sometimes in straight mud
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC: trying
to filter it through
and then just drinking it?
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
I mean, how bad
do you want to live? (LAUGHS)
(GROANS)
ERIC: I probably only moved
a hundred yards
that third day, I bet you.
Didn't move barely any.
"I'm dead, man. I'm dead."
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
With a giant open wound?
(CHUCKLES)
"Fuck it,
I'm gonna lay here and die."
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ERIC'S MOM:
Hey, Eric. Hey, Eric.
Hey, Eric. Hey, Eric.
Hey, Eric. Hey, Eric.
ERIC: Wait
There's a beer bottle
on the ground.
Where did that come from?
(GROANS)
Dude, I can't be far
from that fence.
Somebody threw that beer bottle
over the fence.
(GROANS)
I seen civilization once again.
I knew I was making it out.
I knew I was right there.
There's no way I'm giving up.
I can't have but 50 feet to go.
(GROANS)
That beer bottle was hope, man.
(SCREAMS)
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(LAUGHS)
"Let's get the fuck
out of this swamp, man."
"ERIC": Hey! (GROANS) Hey!
RICK: I was leaving
this parking lot
"ERIC": Hey!
-RICK: driving up this way
-"ERIC": Hey!
RICK: and I got up right
to about this location,
-and I heard somebody scream
-"ERIC": Hey!
"Help, help, help!"
Hi, I'm Rick, and I was the one
that found Eric,
with the, uh with his arm
taken off from an alligator.
("ERIC" SCREAMS, GROANS)
He was totally naked.
He had swamp muck all over him.
And I said, "Bro,
an alligator got my arm!"
He said, "Holy shit!"
I yelled, "Holy shit,
holy shit, holy shit."
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!
I said,
"You got any water, man?"
You got any water, man?
Only thing I asked him,
"No, don't call the ambulance.
Don't call nobody."
"Give me some damn water."
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
-(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
He calls the ambulance.
I lay on the ground, man.
I know my journey's over.
I know what I just accomplished.
I get it. I'm like, "Holy fuck!"
I apologize for the language,
but holy fuck me twice!
You know,
it's the freakiest thing
I've ever seen
in my entire life.
Uh, I hope I never see
anything again like this.
I didn't sleep
for a few nights after this.
It was pretty traumatic.
Yeah, standing here,
looking in the woods,
I could still see Eric.
-Um, I could see his blue eyes.
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
I could see him naked.
-(LAUGHS) Unfortunately.
-(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
It's all I wanted, man.
-And then you came through.
-I don't know how you survived,
'cause the heat
was brutal those days.
Man, I had it made in the shade.
Look at all those trees.
-(LAUGHS)
-Wow. But it was hot.
I went swimming
when I wanted to.
I mean, man, I was just
living the tropical dream.
-(LAUGHS)
-Yeah.
-Whatever you wanna call it.
-(BOTH LAUGH)
Yeah, I mean, it was
a tropical nightmare, brother.
-Yeah.
-No, man, I'm so--
-Thank you.
-Hey.
-Thank you, seriously.
-You're welcome.
I'm part of this swamp.
The swamp's part of me now.
My arm's never leaving here.
It's been eaten up.
It's been shit out.
And it's in this lake somewhere.
It's in those woods somewhere.
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
Circle of life, man. I mean,
it's-- I-- I'm part
of this swamp now,
and the swamp lives within me.
PRODUCER:
I know it's gonna
sound crazy, man,
but I want to go again.
(CHUCKLES) I wanna go again.
I know that's crazy.
I know that's absolutely
fucking insane.
(BREATHES HEAVILY) I am so ready
to run back there right now,
and just go get it
one more time, man. (CHUCKLES)
PRODUCER:
I don't know.
I don't know, man.
It's something-- It's just--
It's, like, calling me, man.
You know, like, I got the call
of the wild in me, man.
Forty-three-year-old
Eric Merda says
he was reborn on July 17th
after losing his right arm
in an alligator attack.
He says he now has
a new calling in life.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
GROUP: I'm in the swamp.
The swamp is in me.
I'm in the swamp.
The swamp is in me.
ERIC: I'd like to be
a motivational speaker
just because I probably
dug myself
out of more crap
than most people
will ever even dream
of being in.
He has been, in a weird way,
a spiritual guy.
It did enlighten him
to the little things
in life that he still had.
And he doesn't have much.
He doesn't have much money
to his name,
but he became happy.
He bounced off that
and became, you know,
this different Eric,
this new Eric.
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
-If a piece of shit like me
(CHUCKLING) can come out
of something like that,
I know you can.
'Cause ain't nobody
a bigger piece of shit
than I am. (LAUGHS)
("DOG GONE SHAME"
BY LOU SHIELDS PLAYING) ♪
Well, I'm a rolling
And a running fool ♪
Have to roll away, well ♪
Left town on a midnight train
And traveling like a man ♪
Don't you know I'mma thinking
On you, loving on ♪
I've been here since 1980.
I love it here
because I like the heat.
If anybody wants
a past life aggression--
uh, regression,
I will give you
a half price deal.
I'm normally 250,
and I'll do it for 175.
Looking out
At a lonely night sky ♪
Heading on west, I say, yeah ♪
Left town on a midnight train
And traveling like a man ♪
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪